"One, because it'd take a shitload of money," Dee said.
"We could save up," Ryo said, and Dee sort of liked how Ryo didn't immediately point out that while Dee's bank account had never held any amount of money with more than three numbers in front of the point, Ryo's was slowly but steadily growing.
Of course, they might come across a needy animal shelter or something next week.
"I've never saved up for anything in my life. It's just not my thing." Dee grinned.
Ryo sighed. "We could work something out. I mean, Bikky saved up to buy a gift for Carol's birthday. Are you saying you've got less self-control than he does?"
"That gift was, like, two hundred bucks," Dee said. "And for the record, I have great self-control."
"Really." Ryo looked deeply cynical. Rightly so, probably, but still.
"Hey, we're having this conversation, aren't we? While we're all by ourselves."
"That's not self-control; that's common decency," Ryo said. "I'll admit that's quite an accomplishment for you, but - "
"All right, that's enough," Dee said, because yes, sure, he wanted Ryo to think well of him, but he was still a guy and guys had needs and some really stupid part of his brains apparently got turned on by having Ryo insult him - or maybe it was just that they did have the apartment all to themselves, with no annoying monkeys or know-it-all young ladies around.
Dee might be bad at saving money, but he knew a golden opportunity when he saw one, and it would be a total shame to waste this one.
"You do realize you're kind of totally making my point here, right?" Ryo asked, when Dee reached for him. "You have absolutely no self-control."
"Who needs self-control, anyway?"
Ryo scowled a little, so Dee kissed him until he stopped scowling and started kissing back, and then, of course, Bikky came bursting in, right on schedule.
"Two, because of the guys at the precinct," Dee said, buttering some toast. Bikky had stolen the newspaper, but he only read the sports section, so Dee let him get away with it for now.
"Honestly, I think they'd be okay with it." Ryo poured himself a cup of tea.
"You don't know these guys like I do. Trust me on this."
"I think Ryo should be the one in a dress," Teddy said. "He's more, you know."
"Attractive?" Drake grinned.
"Slender. I mean, Dee's kind of butch. A guy."
"Aren't they both guys?"
"Yeah, but you know what I mean," Teddy said. "Right, JJ?"
"I've always wanted to see Dee as a blushing bride."
"Now there's a surprise."
"Dee can't pull off a dress," Teddy said, shaking his head. "No way, man. Don't really think he's the blushing kind, either."
"It's just a figure of speech." JJ rolled his eyes. "And what's all this about dresses, anyway? Why would either of them be wearing a dress? Is there going to be some weird undercover op nobody told me about? Because if so, and if Dee's going to be there, I'm totally in."
Drake looked at Teddy. Teddy shrugged. "Wedding dresses."
"Oh, right. Who's getting married?"
"I'm sure you're exaggerating," Ryo said, wrapping Bikky's lunch. "Honestly, I think they'd be happy for us. Even JJ."
"He's gonna be the one crying all the time and then jumping up and yelling 'me!' when they get to that whole 'speak now or forever hold your peace' bit. I just know it."
"Oh, I'm gonna say something there, too, if it gets to that," Bikky said, munching on his toast. "I mean, you totally don't deserve Ryo. A pervy horndog like you? Please. And don't think I don't see you trying to grab his ass every time you get near, either."
"Dude, guys don't wear dresses when they get married." JJ rolled his eyes. "What kind of idiot believes that? They're probably just both going to wear suits."
"They already wear suits to work, don't they?"
"Maybe they'll rent a tux."
"Dee'd look sooo good in a nice, expensive suit."
"Three," Dee said, and Ryo rolled his eyes and said, "Not this again."
"I'm serious. I mean, I don't want you think I'm not going to ask you because I'm not serious about you or something. I'm more serious about you than I've ever been about anyone in my life."
"I know that," Ryo said. His eyes were just a little bit wide.
"Good." Dee reminded himself that he did, in fact, possess a good deal of self-control. Ryo might look incredibly sexy right now, but that didn't mean Dee had to kiss him right here, right now. "Because, I mean, look at us. We share an apartment; we sleep together. We've practically adopted a kid together."
"That's giving you a bit too much credit, don't you think?"
"Maybe, but I guess my point is: what's going to change? We're fine as we are, right?"
"Just who are you trying to convince here, anyway?" Ryo asked, sounding a little bit exasperated. "I never said anything about wanting to get married."
"But you'd say 'yes' if I asked you, right?"
"Probably. I guess. I honestly hadn't thought about it all that much. I mean, I know it's legal now and all, but ... I just never really considered it."
Dee glared at him. "What do you mean 'probably'?"
"I mean 'probably'. It's not that complicated a word, is it?"
"You mean you might say 'no'?" Dee said.
"Well, it doesn't really matter, does it?" Ryo shrugged. "Since you're not going to ask, it doesn't really matter what my answer might have been, right? Unless, of course, you're just trying to get me to say 'yes' without actually asking me, which would be kind of stupid and pointless."
"That's pretty harsh."
Ryo sighed. "You're an idiot. Will you marry me?"
"I - " Dee swallowed. "Probably."
Ryo glared at him, then shook his head. "Fine. I guess maybe I deserved that one."
"You know I meant 'yes, abso-fucking-lutely', right?"