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the universal, endless infinity

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It starts with a talk. Of course it starts with a talk. It always starts with a talk, because Yoonji doesn’t believe in just going with the flow. As much as she presents herself as the most aloof and laid back person in the world, she’s not one to just jump into things. Most of her decisions are carefully planned out, and her brain actually works pretty methodically. Namjoo can’t imagine their brain as anything other than a trash can on fire, in the driver’s seat of a car that they can’t drive, crashing against the walls of their brain like a game of pinball. Yoonji calls it ADHD, and leaves them cute little reminders for things on sticky notes around the house because she knows that they have so many things in their brain that some things tend to slip through the cracks. 


Yoonji is good at picking up shit like that, and always knows the best way to address it. She hadn’t asked Namjoo if they appreciated the notes. It was fairly apparent in their demeanor after Yoonji had started leaving them around, plus Namjoo had started drawing hearts on them in response. Other things, though, most things -important things- Yoonji sat Namjoo down and more or less forced them to have an adult conversation about it. It’s not that Namjoo didn’t appreciate it, either, they just weren’t good at not being a big awkward oaf all of the time, or talking about their big awkward oaf emotions. 


“Stop it,” Yoonji’s voice cuts through the bullshit spiral Namjoo was probably about to go through, and she tucks a strand of their hair behind their ear. They’ve been growing it out more, and right now they have sort of a mullet situation that they’re a bit self conscious of, but Yoonji likes it a lot. She touches their hair a lot more lately, plays with it, sometimes gives it a little tug when they're being a bit bratty. 


“I didn’t do anything,” Namjoo huffs out a quiet laugh, ducking their head down, only for Yoonji to tut and grab them by the cheeks. She squishes them between her palms, forcing them to look back at her. 


“I can hear your thoughts. I’m in your brain. Be nice to yourself,” Yoonji gives Namjoo a little kiss to their nose, then blushes a bit, like she always does when she catches herself being cute. She lets them go easily, leaning back onto her palms where they’re facing each other on the bed, but she still keeps their legs pressed together. Namjoo is hopelessly in love with this girl. 


“You know, shouting “relationship talk!” and then pushing me onto the bed implies that you have something to talk about,” Namjoo raises their eyebrows, nudging Yoonji where their knees are touching. Yoonji’s in just a pair of shorts, her little pink knees on display. Namjoo thinks they might be their favorite part of her, but they know she would tease them endlessly for that if they ever admitted it. ( Knees, not even my tits? That’s cold. )   


Yoonji rolls her eyes, stretches her leg out to press a bare toe to Namjoo’s belly, just to the left of their navel. “I do. I’m just trying to think of the best way to go about it,” she says, and that tracks. She often will express the same sentiment, when she isn’t sure how to bring up a sensitive topic, not wanting to upset Namjoo or express her feelings incorrectly. Namjoo is a word vomiter. They are very different people. 


“What is it about?”


“Sex.” A pause. “See, I knew you would do that.” 


Namjoo hadn’t even noticed the way their shoulders had curled in a bit, the line of their mouth turning down at the corners. “Do what?” They try to play it off anyway. It’s not like they have a bad sex life, it’s that Namjoo isn’t good at talking about it. They always get terribly embarrassed, or alarmingly dysphoric, or sometimes (blessedly) very horny. If Yoonji’s bringing it up, it’s clearly important to her, and Namjoo knows that she’s trying to figure out how to talk about it in a way that’s the most comfortable for both of them. 


Yoonji is quiet for a bit longer. Namjoo squirms, suddenly thinking about the last time they had sex. They’d thought it went well. They both came, which was really gratifying, considering sometimes they didn’t always achieve that. Namely, Namjoo usually got too anxious to finish, and no matter how Yoonji tried to coax them out of that headspace, it was too difficult. They usually ended up fooling around after that, touching for the sake of touching, without a goal in mind, and that was still good. Namjoo still liked that. They’d had partners before who got bored or annoyed when they realized that Namjoo wasn’t going to finish, and things ended pretty quickly after that. 


Yoonji is different. She likes Namjoo’s body. Likes to touch them, even if it won’t end in climax. She lets them touch her freely, too, and doesn’t apologize for coming when Namjoo doesn’t, because she knows that makes them feel worse about it. Namjoo likes making Yoonji come, just likes pleasing her, really. Their last time was actually really fucking good, considering, so they can’t really think of what she would want to talk about.


“I think… I want to talk to you about-” Yoonji sighs, scrubbing a hand over her face. “Fuck, Namjoo. I want to talk about your dick.” 


Namjoo nearly chokes, their cheeks flushing pink immediately. “What? What about it?” They can’t help the way they laugh, half nervous and half just completely confused. Yoonji is blunt, sure, and straightforward, but she usually has a bit more grace when approaching sensitive subjects. 


“I’m sorry,” Yoonji is pink herself as she laughs with them. “I’m sorry, I know, I just didn’t know how to start. I want to talk to you about, like. Topping, I suppose? You don’t finish when you top me, like ever-”


“Yoonji, it’s not-”


“It’s not me, I know, I know. I’m not upset about that. But I noticed that the only times you do finish is like--God, you’re gonna hate me for talking about it like this. You only finish when I don’t really touch you there directly. Like when you fuck me or I suck you off, that’s when you get anxious, yeah?”


Yoonji is right, Namjoo hates her. They hate her. Their face must be the deepest shade of red in the world. They hadn’t thought about it much, actually, not the way Yoonji clearly has. 


“Is there a reason that you top when you’re clearly so uncomfortable with it?” Yoonji reaches out for Namjoo now, her hand resting on their knee gently. Her eyes are persistent, but caring. Warm.


And fuck. 


Because Namjoo had never thought about it like that before. Not really. For some reason, having Yoonji say it just so plainly, it just makes something click in their brain. Oh. Duh. They don’t like topping. 


“I…” Namjoo blinks, feeling dumbstruck. “I don’t know? I… Um. It’s just always been like. Expected, I guess? I kind of have a big...”


“Kind of?” Yoonji deadpans. Namjoo flushes.


“Yeah, I’m blessed, I get it,” they mumble, and Yoonji tuts. 


“Didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry. You’re well-endowed, yes, it’s just a fact, doesn’t have to be good or bad.” 


“Everyone I’ve been with just. Well, they want me to fuck them? And I’ve never had a problem with it, so I just do. I’m used to it.” 


Yoonji nods. “Have you ever been able to finish like that?”


“Well-” Oh shit. Namjoo is an idiot. How did they not put this together sooner? “No?”


“Oh, baby ,” Yoonji pouts a bit, sitting up completely now. “Will you let me fuck you?”


Namjoo chokes again. They’ve never even considered that an option. Everyone sees them and their height and their dick and just assumes, and Namjoo doesn’t correct them because, well. Truthfully, they don’t know any better. 


“What?” They try to not sound too scandalized.


“Please? Only if you’re into it, but I’ve wanted you on my strap since we first met. I didn’t know how to ask before.” Yoonji looks excited now, spots of color high on her cheekbones. Her eyes are brimming with enthusiasm, laced with something else. Something darker. Deeper. 


Namjoo swallows thickly. That . That is a thought. “Since we met?” They squeak, and if they start to get a little turned on, start to squirm a little under Yoonji’s gaze, then that’s no one's business but theirs. 


“Since we met. Think you’d look so pretty, baby,” Yoonji starts to close the space between them, rising up onto her knees, then leaning forward, her body all stretched out to make herself bigger than Namjoo. “I think you’d fall apart on my strap perfectly.” 


Holy shit. Namjoo is both bisexual and non-binary, yet somehow simultaneously having their Actual Gay Awakening right here, right now. 




Yoonji leans down, straddling Namjoo now, though their bodies still aren’t touching. Her hair falls in curtains around Namjoo’s face, tickling their cheeks, yet making the moment much more intimate. Their faces are so close, curtained in by Yoonji’s hair, and when their lips meet, the air feels charged. Yoonji pulls back and runs her fingers through Namjoo’s hair once again, corners of her lips quirked up just a bit. “If you don’t want to, it’s okay. There’s plenty of ways to have sex without penetration, baby. I know you like it when I grind on you.” Then she’s on top of them, hips rolling into theirs, and suddenly they’re touching in so many places--her hands in their hair, her chest pressed to theirs, her ass in their lap--Namjoo feels almost overwhelmed with how turned on they are so quickly. 


“Ah- Unnie-” They gasp, hands flying to Yoonji’s hips. She doesn’t stop there, though, her hips working in slow circles over Namjoo’s, eyes burning as she stares down at them. 


“Just like this, hm? You always get so… pretty, so flustered,” Yoonji pulls Namjoo’s head back, licks into her mouth more than she kisses it, and it’s so warm, Yoonji is warm. She’s pure heat and pleasure, a smear of red across the canvas that is Namjoo. She clouds up Namjoo’s mind, gets them worked up so quickly. It’s so damn intoxicating. “Unnie loves taking care of her baby, you just have to let me. Do you want to?”


Namjoo nods then, feeling like their breath is caught in their throat. They’re getting hard, they know that Yoonji can feel it, but it feels different this time. Namjoo doesn’t have that same dread creeping up, the anxiety that comes with their dick being the center of attention. It’s good, it’s easy, the way Yoonji rolls her hips. It’s like Namjoo’s pleasure can be separate from them, from their dick, fully clothed like this all they have to focus on is Yoonji, the grind of their bodies together. 


It feels good. Not just in a sexual way. It’s freeing. Namjoo has never thought about it like this, never addressed the dysphoria that comes with having sex “traditionally.” They never thought it bothered them so much. But like this, being able to feel good with Yoonji, knowing that she doesn’t expect them to do anything more, it’s- God, it feels so fucking good. With horror, Namjoo realizes they’re getting emotional, face crumpled up a bit as Yoonji grinds down harder. “I’m- I’m-”


“Shh,” Yoonji kisses Namjoo once more, cupping their face lovingly, “It’s okay. Let it feel good, baby.”


Namjoo gasps when Yoonji shifts their hips a bit, realigns, then screws her hips down hard. They both moan. Yoonji’s cheeks are starting to get ruddy, her eyebrows furrowed as she really starts to get into it, both of them panting heavily into the silent room. Namjoo pulls Yoonji down for a desperate kiss, needing to somehow let out everything they’re feeling. Inexplicably, tears spill out onto their cheeks, and they can’t help it, their breaths starting to come in shudders. “I’m sorry, I don’t-” 


Yoonji just shushes them again. “It’s okay. It’s okay, let it go,” she breathes, so they do. They let their head fall back and they moan, loud yet choked, tears dripping down to their temples. It feels so good, Yoonji feels good, feels like love and healing and fucking pleasure all in one. They can’t help the way they start rutting up against her, fingers digging into her ass maybe a bit harsher than they usually grab her. 


“There you go,” Yoonji’s voice is low, soothing, but the noises she makes in between her words are anything but, and fuck it’s hot. It’s really hot, the way she’s pulling them apart, while trying not to fall apart herself. It helps, pushes Namjoo further, overwhelms them entirely, the way Yoonji is so clearly taking care of them, making them feel good, giving them pleasure, telling them it’s okay. 


“Shit- shit !” Namjoo gasps when Yoonji’s fingers tweak at their nipple over their shirt, toes curling into the bed. It happens quickly from there, Yoonji plays with Namjoo’s nipples until they’re whimpering, arms wrapping around her waist and holding her down against them hard. Their hips grind up roughly, and before they can even get anxious about it, they’re actually coming, mouth open and wanton, face pressed into Yoonji’s chest. They shudder a few times, gasping for breath since they decided smothering themself in Yoonji’s tits would be the best way to handle their orgasm. 


Yoonji gets a hand between them, shoving it down her shorts, her noises quiet and breathy, pressed into Namjoo’s hair. It takes maybe a minute before she’s grabbing the hair at the nape of Namjoo’s neck, yanking their head back to kiss them deeply while she shakes on top of them. When she pulls back, her eyes are still low. “Open your mouth,” she whispers, watching as Namjoo obeys easily, tongue lolling out for good measure. 


Yoonji presses a sweet kiss to Namjoo’s tongue, then pulls her fingers from between her legs and slides them right into their waiting mouth. Namjoo closes their eyes so Yoonji doesn’t see the way they roll, moaning weakly around the digits. They suck them clean, feeling a weak pulse of arousal at the taste. 


So. It starts with a talk.


。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆   。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆


Somehow the talk plagues Namjoo for the rest of the week. They’re suddenly so much more aware of their ass? Every time they catch Yoonji looking, their stomach erupts into a million butterflies, knowing what Yoonji has thought about since they met. Every time she touches their hips, or waist, every gentle tap to their thigh has Namjoo flushing so hard they nearly go dizzy. Their friends notice, too. It’s not all in Namjoo’s head, well maybe it is, but their reactions to it aren’t. 


They had one talk and now suddenly Namjoo is a blushing, nervous fool around their own girlfriend. They’re worse than when Yoonji and them had just been in the talking stage, where Yoonji would flirt with them and Namjoo would absolutely lose their shit, stammering out some stupid (Yoonji would call it adorable) response and basically running away. 


Namjoo had been good at flirting before, when they thought their gender started and ended with their dick and chased after girls with the rest of the guys in their grade. When a girl looks their way now, Namjoo has a moment of what they call genderqueer panic, and by the time they remember that they’re hot regardless of their gender, the moment has passed. That started around the time Namjoo realized they wanted to be the girls that flirted with them, more than they wanted to be with them. 


It’s getting better, though. It’s been years and Namjoo has really come into themselves. Although there’s still a lot to figure out, they’re more comfortable in their body now than they ever have been. Flirting is a lot easier when you’re not worried that someone is going to laugh in your face when you explain that you’re not a dude and you’re not really looking for a hookup. It’s also easier when you have someone who already likes you to flirt back with you, and laugh at your cheesy jokes, and who loves it when you’re cutesy, despite being almost six feet tall and entirely too broad. 


The thing is, Namjoo doesn’t know how to handle this newfound love for their butt? They’d never given it much thought before, other than doing about a thousand squats at the gym one time when their dysphoria had been really bad and they had just wanted a fat ass to show off on Twitter. Sure, when they’d realized the whole bisexual thing, they’d done some experimenting, but it never really went exceedingly well. It’s why they went along with topping so easily. Fingering themself had just felt sticky and weird, plus it was awkward and they didn’t really want to relive the experience with another person. 


Yoonji isn’t pushing them, though. She’s just been groping Namjoo at a rate that has increased tenfold from the previous months of their relationship. No big deal.


It’s not that they’re putting it off or anything, either, but they’ve both been pretty busy, and neither of them want to particularly rush this. They don’t live together, but Namjoo ends up spending most of their time at Yoonji’s place, considering she lives alone and Taehyung always has Jungkook and Jimin over at theirs to play video games and watch anime until the early hours of the morning. The past two weeks their schedules have just been off, though, with work picking up for Yoonji and midterms coming up for Namjoo. They only have two classes this semester, but they have been grading a lot of last minute work for their TA courses. It’s always this time of the semester that makes Namjoo regret their choice of not only doing grad school, but actively and willingly being a TA for multiple courses. 


They’re grading on Yoonji’s floor, sprawled out with papers strewn all around them. It’s Friday, finally, and they don’t have any obligations all weekend, so if they can just get through this last batch of essays, they’ll actually have a second to relax. (If they ignore their own papers for a few days, which they are definitely going to.)


Yoonji had been home for a few minutes, had said hi when she arrived, then went off to change and relax, presumably. Namjoo hears the shuffling of feet behind them, though, then feels her presence over them. Just as they’re about to turn and give her the attention they know she wants, Yoonji is crawling over them and starfishing out on top of them like a human shaped blanket. She wiggles around a bit on top of them (and Namjoo resolutely does not think of the way her hips rub up against their ass), then settles with her head between their shoulder blades, hands tucked up under her cheek. Her legs fall open over their hips, knees on either side of them to support her so she’s not actually crushing them. 


They stay like that for a while, Namjoo scribbling notes in the margins of papers, but carefully, so they don’t disturb Yoonji on their back. “You can relax, you know. You’re not heavy,” Namjoo finally says, when they feel Yoonji shift her weight around for the third time in a minute. Instantly, the pressure of her body presses them into the ground thoroughly, legs going limp by their sides. It’s not uncomfortable, though, and Namjoo actually kind of likes it. It’s calming. Like a weighted blanket.


Namjoo gets through another three papers, suspecting Yoonji might actually be asleep on them, when finally she speaks up. “Missed you,” her voice is soft, and Namjoo feels warmth curl from their cheeks down to their toes. 


“I missed you, too. Been busy, hm?”


“Missed your scent. Forgot how calming it is. I’ve been so stressed, but every time I smell you, it’s like. I know everything's gonna be okay,” Yoonji hides her face in Namjoo’s back. They can feel her nose smushed up against the nape of their neck, which is silly because they can’t see her anyway. She inhales deeply. Namjoo suspects that they are being sniffed. 


“Are you smelling me?”


“I just told you that it comforts me.”


“Yeah, I just didn’t expect you to immediately be a weirdo about it.” 


“I actually hate you and I’m taking my key back.”


Namjoo laughs, and Yoonji still makes no efforts to move, instead inhaling deeply again.


“What do I smell like?” 


“Right now? Disrespect.”


“Oh, I’m so sorry , Yoonji-noona, how can I ever make it up to you?” Namjoo snickers, earning them a smack to their head.


“Roll over.”


They maneuver around on the floor, until Namjoo is laying flat on their back, Yoonji perched not-so-delicately on their belly. It’s harder to breathe this way than it was before, but Namjoo doesn’t mind. They like the closeness. 


“I bought you a present, but I really don’t think you deserve it anymore,” Yoonji huffs, fingers tracing patterns up and down Namjoo’s chest. Namjoo looks up at her fondly, delight bubbling up in their chest. 


“You got me something? What is it?” Their excitement gets the better of them. They know Yoonji wants them to play along, but they don’t get each other random presents very often, so sue them for being a bit eager. Yoonji pinches their nipple anyway. Namjoo yelps and nearly bucks her off of them.


“I’m not saying! I might not even give it to you anymore. You’re so mean to me,” Yoonji sniffs, but it’s all for show. 


“I’m sorry, noona. I was being disrespectful, wasn’t I?” Namjoo pouts up at her, hands sliding up her thighs. “Tell me how to make it better.” 


Yoonji leans up, presses her thumb to Namjoo’s mouth, smushing their lower lip up before dragging it down. Namjoo feels their cheeks darken. “I think you know how.” 


Namjoo nods, moving their hands to Yoonji’s ass, to help her scoot up their body. Except. Except, she leans forward, so they basically just push her over, both of them making rather embarrassing sounds of distress. Yoonji catches herself with hands above Namjoo’s head, their faces very close now. “What are you- Oh my god !” Yoonji’s face just breaks open with glee when she realizes what Namjoo’s intentions were. “Dirty! You’re filthy!” 


Namjoo turns red as she shakes with laughter, whining their discomfort. “Shut uuuup. You’re the one who always says that everything can be fixed with-”


“With a nice face sitting, it’s a joke ! You- Wait!” Yoonji collapses on the floor in giggles as Namjoo pushes her off to the side. They’re on their feet quickly, running away even though they’re laughing themselves. How else were they supposed to take the mouth finger thing?! 


“Namjoo-yah! Be nice to noona, let me sit on your faaaace!” Yoonji yells as she chases after them, practically tackling them onto the bed when they reach her room. Namjoo laughs into the sheets, squirming around to get her off of them, the two of them struggling for a few moments until somehow , they end up in the same position they had been before. Yoonji sitting on Namjoo’s hips this time, her hands pinning theirs down. 


“Just wanted a kiss, but how can I turn down an offer so generous?” Yoonji preens. Namjoo rolls their eyes. “Did you really miss me that much?”


Namjoo blinks a few times, considers putting an end to the whole thing, but they had wanted to do it before. And the way Yoonji looks over them, looking down on them, it does something to them. Makes their stomach twist. They nod slowly. “I did. Missed being close to you,” they say softly. Yoonji laughs at that. 


“I think you missed more than that, baby.”


And oh, there it is. Namjoo can’t help the whine that comes out of them. There’s something about it, when she says that, it just. Feels good. Feels right. She’s started calling them baby more often, lately, and it never fails to make Namjoo buzz with contentment. And in this case, arousal. “Yeah? You’re my baby, aren’t you?” Yoonji leans down to kiss Namjoo once more, finally releasing their hands so she can caress their face instead. 


The kiss is slow, but it burns red deep inside of Namjoo, makes them ache in a way they didn't know existed before they met Yoonji. They hum their affirmation into her mouth, hands moving to her hips, urging her up their body once more. Yoonji giggles against their lips.


"Someone's eager."


She doesn't make them wait much longer, though. She rolls off of them momentarily, doing a little wiggle and a lift to get her pants and underwear off. Namjoo has half a mind to just roll over and bury themself between her thighs, and is about to, but Yoonji catches them with a hand on their shoulder. "Ah- None of that. This isn't about you, it's about me. What I want to take from you. How am I gonna do that on my back?" Yoonji raises an eyebrow, not bothering to take her shirt off as she slings a leg over Namjoo's chest. Namjoo stares. "Exactly. So be a good baby and let me ride your face."


Namjoo blinks. Nods. Swallows thickly. They don't have time to have an existential crisis over how lucky they are to have such a beautiful and insanely sexy girlfriend, because Yoonji is carefully kneeing up the bed, slipping one leg over Namjoo's shoulder, then the other, and then. Fuck. She's right there, so close, yet so far. It's kind of nerve wracking, this way. They've gone down on her before, but this is the first time they've done it like this, and for some reason anxiety twists in their gut. It's hot, definitely, but they're used to being closer to her, surrounded by her.


Namjoo blinks again. Looks up past her thighs to her face. They really can't even see her face like this, but she slides a hand in their hair, an anchor, to remind them of her presence even when she's so far away.


"Go on then. Make it up to me," she breathes, and Namjoo feels the nerves slide away, making way for the buzz of arousal, warm and honey thick in their veins.


Namjoo turns their head, to give a quick kiss to her thigh, a small show of affection. They pause, though. Her skin there is so soft and warm, they can’t help the way they kiss again, slower this time. They open up their mouth and suck a proper kiss closer to her groin, and they don't miss the sigh that Yoonji lets out above them.


They bring a hand up, to part her lips, and she makes a noise above them, using her free hand to grab their wrist, pulling it away. "None of that."


Namjoo's face flushes when they realize what they're going to have to do, kissing at the other thigh instead. They have to lean up the closer they get to her pussy, because she's not doing them any favors. If they want to make it up to her, they're going to have to earn it, and that's something that she's made clear. They suck a mark high up on her thigh, just to feel her fingers tighten in their hair. It's when they go to make a matching mark on her other thigh that she finally loses her patience. She uses her grip on their hair to yank them up where she wants them, the feeling going straight to Namjoo's groin.


"Thought you were going to be good," Yoonji huffs out. Namjoo doesn't like the implication that they aren't. They don't mean to let out a whine, eyebrows furrowing as they finally make contact.


Namjoo uses Yoonji's momentum to lick a broad stripe between her lips, muffling a moan into her skin at the first taste. God, they would never get tired of it. They let go completely from that point forward, unable to act like they aren't a horny mess over this entire situation.


They have to press forward hard with their mouth, pressing their tongue between her lips, fumbling to find her clit and forgoing breathing when they do. It's easier when she starts to get wetter, her silken skin sliding easily over Namjoo's lips. It's also messier, the way they have to bury their face in her pussy to get anything done, their chin and cheeks covered in her wetness every time they dip their tongue inside.


It's worth it though, to hear Yoonji go from quiet, reserved sighs, to low moans, to actual squeaks when Namjoo gets their mouth on her clit. She helps guide them with the hand in their hair, pulling them up to her clit and then pushing them down hard when she wants their tongue inside again, taking what she wants from them true to her word. It's hot. Namjoo doesn't think she even spares them a thought, whether they can breathe, if their neck hurts, she just takes, and takes, and fuck if Namjoo doesn't give.


Namjoo gives as much as they can, licking and sucking and kissing, cheeks ruddy and stomach burning with arousal. It's quite possible they haven't breathed once since they got their mouth on Yoonji, and if not breathing means they never have to be parted from her pussy again, they might be very okay with that.


The only sound in the room is Yoonji's heavy breathing, plus the tiny, aborted noises she makes every time Namjoo gives it particularly good. She's making noise like she doesn't even mean to, like she wants to not be affected, but her mouth just starts making noises before she even realizes. It's fucking hot, even hotter when she grips their hair tight in both hands and starts grinding against their mouth, almost as if she's unable to help the tiny, helpless jerking of her hips.


Namjoo focuses on her clit then, trying to work in tandem with her, very aware of the clenching and unclenching of her thighs on either side of their head. Suddenly, Yoonji goes very still, and Namjoo moans, presses their face in closer, eyes shut tight as they work her through it, striving so very hard to not just be good, but the best. When she keens and shudders against them, they know they've done well, warmth flooding through them as if they were the one who just had an orgasm.


Yoonji keeps moaning gently, hips twitching as Namjoo continues to lap up her wetness, wanting to taste the effect their mouth had on her. "Baby," and oh, she sounds wrecked , slumping forward a bit. Her groin presses up against Namjoo's nose, and for a second they really can't breathe, eyes going wide as they moan--loud and unexpected. Their hands fly to her hips, and she's up before anything even really happens, swearing and pouring out apologies, but the feeling still lingers.


"Baby? Namjoo-yah, you okay?" Yoonji sounds concerned, hands petting at Namjoo's chest and hair. Namjoo lets their head loll to the side to look at her, gaze unfocused and lips spread into a lazy smile. They're sure that they look filthy, flushed pink down their neck, with her wetness smeared all over their face, but they can't really be bothered to care much.


"That was so hot," Namjoo sighs, still a bit breathless remembering the way she'd shook on top of them.


Yoonji turns a pretty shade of pink, giggling into the sheets. "Yeah. Yeah, it was," she agrees, leaning over to lick at the corner of Namjoo's mouth, then give them a deep kiss. "God, you're messy. Wanna take a picture of you like this, you should see yourself."


Yoonji reaches down for Namjoo's pants, but they stop her with a shake of their head. "S'okay. Was for you, not me."


"Baby, that was just dirty talk, it's okay, I can-"


"I know you can. It's... It was for you," Namjoo stresses, unsure of how to word it so that she understands. Sure, they're hard, but it wouldn't feel right to do anything about it. Not that they really disrespected her or needed to be punished, it just. Made them feel good to do that for her, without any expectation of getting something in return.


Yoonji's eyes soften, and she kisses Namjoo's cheek tenderly. "Okay, baby. Thank you. Was really good, you're the best at that," she whispers, her words filling Namjoo up and warming them from the inside. Their toes curl up just a bit, pleased at that. "Come on, let's go get cleaned up."


They shuffle off to the bathroom together, giggling and touching and riding the sex high. They end up in the shower together, where Namjoo crouches down for Yoonji to wash their hair (she insists), and then washes her shoulder length hair in return.


"Oh! I forgot!" Yoonji gasps as they're toweling off, padding off to the bedroom. She's almost completely dry, where as Namjoo is still dripping because they got distracted drawing hearts in the steam on the mirror. They know better than to follow her, having been made to clean up their own wet footprints many a time before. So they wait for Yoonji to return, completely naked with her hair twisted up in the towel and her hands behind her back. "Your gift!"


"My gift!" Namjoo perks up, matching her enthusiasm, reaching out with grabby hands.


"For you, my love," Yoonji extends her hands out, cupping a package in her hands that's about the size of both of her hands pressed together. Confused, Namjoo steps closer, squinting at the packaging that they don't immediately recognize.


"Is that-" Namjoo stops short when the realization hits, embarrassment curling in their chest. "Oh my god."


Namjoo flushes a deep red all the way down to their chest, snatching the gift from her hands. "This is your present? A douche ?" They hiss, taking it in both hands and staring down at it like it's personally forcing them to have a conversation about the logistics of anal with their girlfriend. In a way it is. Or maybe it's the actual devil batting her annoyingly long eyelashes at them.


"I didn't know if you had one! And I just wanted you to be prepared for me to tap 'dat," Yoonji defends, as if any of those words are making this situation any better.


"Oh my god."


"It's important to be clean, because after today I owe you an ass-eating and I just want to make sure-"


" Oh my god !" 


。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆   。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆


It doesn’t get brought up for a while, goes in the drawer in Yoonji’s bathroom because Namjoo would rather douche here than their shared apartment, and it’s (not exactly) forgotten for the time being.


They fall back into their easy routine, quiet dinners and grading papers and playing scrabble to assert dominance over each other. Work is shit and Yoonji has a personal project that she’s been throwing herself into a lot lately, so Namjoo hangs out with Jungkook and Taehyung and complains the whole time until the two of them send them back to Yoonji’s. It’s easy, the life they’ve somehow built with one another without realizing what they were doing. 


Namjoo gets another drawer at Yoonji’s place, and they buy houseplants together and argue over what to name them. Jungkook says it’s gross, how domestic they are sometimes. Namjoo rolls their eyes and tells him he wishes he had what they do. 


The thing about girlfriends that are just waiting for the right moment to give you a “long overdue pegging,” is that they’re very vigilant. Yoonji doesn’t push Namjoo into it- they’re both busy, and trying new sex things isn’t exactly high up on their list of priorities. However, she does notice the way Namjoo becomes more comfortable with her openly thirsting for their ass, the way they lean into her groping now, sometimes even pull her hands to touch their ass before she goes for it herself. She notices when the douche that she’d bought them moves from drawer to drawer, asks subtle questions about it that Namjoo always avoids with a coy smile. She will definitely notice the douche sitting out on the bathroom counter today (cleaned, of course), because Namjoo is not subtle at all and doesn’t know how to say “I’m ready for my long overdue pegging.” 


Namjoo chews on their lip when Yoonji walks into the bathroom, keeping their eyes trained on the book propped up in their lap. They’d come into the bedroom to read after their shower, shirtless and clean and nervous as all hell. It’s not something uncommon for them, especially since Yoonji is busy at the kitchen table, headphones firmly over her ears and swearing every couple of minutes, but they had definitely come into the room so they could watch for the exact moment Yoonji realizes what they’d done. 


They’ve been staring at the same page for thirty minutes before Yoonji finally walks into the ensuite, muttering about levels and background vocals. The muttering stops very suddenly. Namjoo squirms on the bed, turns a page on their book and very pointedly does not look in her direction. “You douched!” Yoonji’s voice is filled with excitement, practically dancing in place in the doorway.


“I did,” Namjoo laughs, shrugging as they turn another page--way too quickly to have actually read anything. 


“You- Uh- Hold on, I have to pee,” she blurts out in a rush, shutting the door and presumably dancing over to the toilet. 


Namjoo hears the flush of the toilet, then the sink, and then Yoonji is running back out faster than Namjoo can react. “Come here!” She grabs both of Namjoo’s ankles and yanks them down the bed with a surprising amount of strength. Namjoo yelps, laughing before they even realize what’s happening, book falling to the side. 


“What are you doing?!” Namjoo screeches as Yoonji pulls their legs apart and then crawls up in between them, looking almost feral in her pursuit of them.


Her hands are cold on their ankles, thighs, and definitely on their bare chest, and Namjoo feels goosebumps rise on their skin. She kisses them despite their giggles, fingers coming up to their neck, but they’re still cold from the sink, so Namjoo squirms away, pushing at her hips with a whine. “Why are you attacking me?” they laugh, and Yoonji finally gives up with a sigh, flopping down onto them in defeat. 


“I’m being spontaneous.”


“You’re being a dork.”


“Can I please fuck you today?”


“I thought you’d never ask.” 


Yoonji’s face lights up again. She kisses them again, properly this time, and they let her, despite her cold fingers caressing their cheek. Namjoo pulls her up to straddle them, then grabs her hands, rubbing them between theirs to warm them up. “Mm, I’m so excited, been dreaming about this,” Yoonji kisses down Namjoo’s neck, turning her hands in theirs to link their fingers together. 


Namjoo can’t help their laugh, but it’s a bit breathless. “Excited, like my ass is the main act and the rest of our sex was just the openers,” they tease, biting back a moan when she sucks a hickey high up on their neck. 


“No, excited like.. You’ve been having baby orgasms your entire life and I’m about to make you come so hard you forget your name,” Yoonji corrects, tweaking a nipple before climbing off of them. Namjoo gapes after her, all of the blood in their body rushing to their dick so fast they get dizzy. 


Yoonji comes back with lube and gives Namjoo one last kiss before pushing at their hip. Namjoo rolls over easily, helping her get their sweatpants down and off, suddenly feeling a sense of urgency that wasn’t there before. Arousal simmers just beneath their skin, warm where Yoonji is cold, fingers touching the backs of their knees, the dimples in their back, a small pinch to their buttcheek. “Sorry, you had a lint,” Yoonji explains the last one, making Namjoo turn their face into the pillow and giggle. It’s what they get for foregoing underwear earlier. 


“Thank you,” Namjoo breathes, then pushes their ass up for attention that isn’t lint-based, humming when they feel lips pressed to where Yoonji had just pinched. Yoonji continues to kiss over their ass, up to the dip of their waist, her hands starting to touch as well, kneading at the warm skin, pulling them open. 


They feel the brush of a dry finger, then her hands pulling them open completely. Namjoo tries not to squirm. They feel a bit exposed like this, lying on their front, ass in full view for Yoonji to see, to touch; but they trust Yoonji more than anyone else in the world, they trust her with this, and they know she’ll take care of them. So they relax against the bed, ready for her to press her fingers again. What they are not ready for is the wet heat sliding over them, warm and pressing right against their hole. 


“Wha-!” Namjoo lets out a startled moan, eyes wide as they jerk forward. “ Yoonji !” 


Yoonji presses a laugh against their asscheek, eyes brimming with mirth as she stares up at where they’ve twisted around to look at her. “What?” she says innocently, gently biting at their cheek. “I owe you an ass eating, I told you.”


Namjoo’s face feels hot, eyes blinking too many times to be considered normal. “I don’t- I’m..” 


“Relax, baby. It’ll feel good, trust me,” Yoonji murmurs, biting again in a way that has Namjoo moaning weakly. 


“It’s... I don’t know,” Namjoo can’t help the embarrassment curling up inside of them, wrapping around their stomach and tugging. It’s too intimate, too much. Their reaction had already reminded them just how much of a virgin they are when it comes to this. They’re the one who’s bi, too, which makes them feel stupid for being so inexperienced this far into their life. 


“Hey,” Yoonji pinches Namjoo’s thigh, pulling their attention back to them. “You’re clean right? You were gonna let me put my fingers in there, what’s going on in your head?”


“It’s different…”


“Yeah, it is. But I want to do it. I think you’ll like it. Your ass is so pretty.”


Namjoo whines, hides their face in the sheets. 


“Look at me,” Yoonji slides a palm up Namjoo’s spine, waits until she has eye contact again. “If you don’t want to, I won’t. But, baby, I really think you’ll like it. It feels good. I wanna make you feel good. Will you let me try?”


Namjoo bites down on their lip, feeling the anxiety and embarrassment give way to something else. Comfort, and just a hint of arousal. They swallow thickly, then nod their response. 


“Tell me,” Yoonji presses, crawling up the bed briefly to grab a pillow. She taps Namjoo’s hips for them to lift, then positions the pillow under them for support, their ass propped up even more now. 


Namjoo whines. “Yes, you can try.”


“Good,” Yoonji gets back between their legs, kisses and bites at their thighs, licks at the crease where their thigh meets their ass, teases with nips and gentle pecks. She pulls them open again, but doesn’t do anything about it, instead sucking a mark right on their cheek. Namjoo lets out a groan, practically shaking with anticipation. 


“Just. Stop teasing,” they huff. 


“Mm, ask nicely.” 


Namjoo can feel her teeth against their skin again, brushing so lightly it gives them goosebumps. 




“Please what?” Her tongue laves right above their hole, close, but not quite there. 


Namjoo gasps, thighs clenching. They drag a pillow down the bed to hold onto, mumbling a plea into it. 


“What was that?” And her tongue moves further away. Namjoo whimpers, the realization that they really, really want this now burning in the forefront of their mind.


They lift their head, gasping out a quick, “ Please eat my ass.” 


Yoonji’s there before they can even finish their sentence, tongue pressing right up against them and turning their request into a moan. She eats ass like she kisses, hot and fierce, and fucking thorough. Namjoo has to bury their face in the pillow, brain unable to even comprehend what exactly is happening in this moment. 


It’s messy. It’s all wet heat, gentle licks and then firm pressure, and fuck . Yoonji’s opening them up on her tongue and Namjoo is losing their mind . It’s good. It feels so good, and Namjoo doesn’t know how or why they’ve never done this before. They couldn’t be quiet if they tried, their moans loud and wanton, toes digging into the sheets. 


Yoonji presses her tongue inside, hands holding Namjoo open for her, and it’s like- intense. Namjoo can feel her everywhere, her nose pressed against them, her hair tickling their cheeks, her arms resting on their thighs, and definitely her tongue in their ass. They’ve never felt more sensitive in their life, every touch, every brush of their skin, every swipe of her tongue, it all builds up so quickly. 


Yoonji presses Namjoo’s hips down, and Namjoo whimpers, pushes back against her mouth. She pushes again, and this time Namjoo gets it. Their cock slides against the pillow in a way that has their hips stuttering, moan getting caught in their throat. It takes a moment, but the two of them find a rhythm together with Namjoo grinding forward against the pillow, then back against Yoonji’s tongue. 


Namjoo feels close dangerously fast. It feels like they’re on fire, hips working more and more, grinding harder, their cheeks ruddy as heavy pants leave their mouth. Suddenly Yoonji’s mouth is gone, and Namjoo lets out a noise dangerously close to a sob. “No, please,” they gasp, but it’s not long before two fingers press inside, sliding in easily with how open they are. Namjoo’s back arches, shoving back against them before they even realize what they’re doing. 


Yoonji licks around where her fingers are spreading Namjoo open, and they resume their rutting against the pillow. Yoonji curls her fingers, probing for something, and then, “Fuck!” 


Namjoo goes taut, mouth hanging open on a silent moan, eyes rolling back as they fucking come . They keen when they can finally make noise again, shaking as they grind into the pillow harshly, ass clenching around Yoonji’s fingers. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Namjoo takes big, shuddering breaths, the orgasm spreading all the way down to their fingers and toes, stomach flipping every time another wave hits. 


When they finally go lax against the bed, they feel boneless and twitchy, toes curling as Yoonji continues to finger them. Namjoo whines quietly, pressing their face into the pillow held between their arms. It’s sensitive, but she stays away from their prostate, just continuing to spread them open. “Fuck, that was so hot. You come so pretty when I play with your ass,” Yoonji’s voice is low, dripping with arousal. 


“Unnie,” Namjoo moans, hearing the squelch of lube, then feeling another finger enter them. “Sensitive.” 


“I know, baby, it’s okay,” Yoonji smooths her free hand up over Namjoo’s back, feeling the way they tremble every time she gets close to their prostate again. “I told you it was good, hm?”


Namjoo nods into the pillow, gasping when Yoonji spreads all three of her fingers, feeling themself stretch around them. “Bet I could make you come again, just like this,” Yoonji curls her fingers suddenly, prodding harshly at Namjoo’s prostate, her other hand yanking Namjoo’s head back and pulling a wail from them. 


Namjoo thrashes, sobbing into the open air. “Unnie! Please!” they cry, eyes crossing a bit. They just came, but they can feel the pleasure building up in them again already, making their head spin. 


“Shh, baby, don’t worry, unnie’s got you,” Yoonji soothes, pulling her fingers from their hole and releasing their hair. Namjoo doesn’t know if they’re relieved or miserable. They lie there panting for a moment, still trying to process what Yoonji had just done to them. 


Namjoo rolls over when they feel Yoonji get off of the bed, making a face at the mess they’d made of the pillow. “What are you- Oh,” Namjoo blinks when Yoonji steps into a harness, their stomach flipping. She just looks at him with eyes that say “ I’m not done with you .” 


They subtly push the pillow off the bed to deal with later, biting down on their lip as she tightens all of the straps. She’s taken her pants off, so they can see the way the straps dig into the thickness of her thighs, hugging the curve of her waist. It’s hot. She’s hot. Namjoo’s legs spread involuntarily. They never thought that watching their girlfriend properly secure a strap on and get it ready to go inside them would be so erotic, but she does it so efficiently, every movement precise, and it’s doing things to them. 


Yoonji pulls off her shirt as she climbs on the bed, her small tits bouncing a bit, and Namjoo can’t help but reach out to brush their thumb over a nipple. Yoonji laughs a bit, grabbing the pillow that they had been using to muffle their noises. “C’mere,” she murmurs, having them get it under their hips again. “Tell me if it gets too much.” 


Namjoo nods, and that’s all the warning they get before they feel the press of the tip against their hole. She sinks in slowly, because the dick is still a bit bigger than her fingers had been, but the slide is easy, and the stretch feels good. Namjoo is still sensitive from their first orgasm, almost as if the short break hadn’t even happened at all, head falling back on a moan. “Oh,” they breathe out, Yoonji lifting one of their thighs and pressing it back as she fills them up. 


The dick isn’t huge , but it isn’t small either, and Namjoo feels so full, unfamiliar with the sensation but addicted to it already. “Okay?” Yoonji pets at their thigh once her hips are flush with their ass. Namjoo nods, reaching down with a grabby hand. Yoongi links their fingers easily. “Gonna move now.” Namjoo nods again. 


Yoonji pulls out slowly, then pushes in a bit faster than the first time. “ Oh ,” Namjoo moans, nodding yet again, faster. Yoonji does it again, then again, picking the speed up each time while Namjoo gets used to it. 


“More, more,” Namjoo squeezes Yoonji’s hand, feeling like their head is full of clouds, fighting a battle of too much and not enough. 


“I got you,” Yoonji murmurs, then pulls out and shoves her hips forward harshly, pulling a sharp cry from Namjoo’s lips. She doesn’t stop either, continuing to fuck into Namjoo hard, now that they’ve given the okay, and Namjoo loves it. 


They use their free hand to help her hold their leg up, ignoring the way it trembles already. It feels amazing, every thrust taking them higher and higher. It’s hard to believe that they’d been nervous about this when it feels so good, when they’re already panting and moaning and falling apart on Yoonji’s dick, flushed and sweaty all over just from how good they’re getting fucked. “God, oh my god- Unnie, please-” They have to let go of her hand to throw their arm over their eyes, moaning high up in their throat. 


If they had the wherewithal to be embarrassed, they would, but as it is right now, Namjoo can’t think past Yoonji, fuck, please, need . It’s overwhelming, and Namjoo can’t even look at her, knowing that the sight of her tits bouncing, eyes dark as she fucks them would be way too much. Yoonji shifts Namjoo’s hips, pushes them up a bit more, and there . Namjoo sobs, fist slamming against the mattress. “Unnie! Oh fuck, oh please, right there, right there -” they cry, babbling as she starts drilling right up against their prostate every time. 


Their thighs shake violently, hiccuping as the sensation overwhelms them. They’ve never felt so much pleasure before, not so intensely, and consistent, and it has them hiccuping out tiny sobs, hot tears spilling out onto their cheeks. Sparks shoot up their spine every time Yoonji slams into them, and it's so much, too much, the pleasure spiking in their veins. 


“Can I touch you?” Yoonji grunts, hand sliding over Namjoo’s belly. 


“Please!” Namjoo wails, “Please, please, please.”


Yoonji gets a hand on their cock, squeezing gently and then stroking them in time with her thrusts and that’s it. Namjoo’s eyes roll back as they come again, back arching up off the bed as they spill all over her hand and their own belly. “There you go, baby,” she coos as she fucks them through it, hard thrusts that push more come out of Namjoo’s spent cock. When Namjoo’s body starts to relax again, she slows, giving gentle pushes until she stops completely. 


Namjoo pants heavily, hips jerking every time she moves inside of them, though they still whine when she pulls out. “Oh my god,” they breathe, tears still leaking from the corners of their eyes. Yoonji shuffles up the bed, the fake dick bouncing in a way that would be comical if Namjoo wasn’t so turned on still, the last of the orgasm still burning under their skin. Yoonji grabs their hand, pulls it to her pussy while she kisses at their jaw and neck. 


Namjoo moans when they feel just how wet she is, their fingers sliding over her easily. They sink two fingers into her, relishing in the guttural moan she lets out, her hand sliding over their chest. The sounds that fill the room are obscene, makes Namjoo's face hot as they thrust their fingers into her over and over again. Yoonji pushes herself up with a gasp, hand slipping up to the base of Namjoo's throat. She must notice the way it makes Namjoo's dick twitch, the way they work harder, moan along with her, because she keeps her hand there. She doesn't do anything, but it's just the idea, the implication. It's enough. 


It doesn't take long, with how turned on she is. Namjoo curls their fingers to hit her g-spot, grinds their palm up against her clit, and then she's grunting, body seizing up as she comes. Namjoo moans with her again, reveling in the feeling of her pussy clenching around their fingers, of her hand on their throat. When she releases them, they pull their fingers out and bring them to their mouth immediately, sucking her wetness off of them. Yoonji groans, giving their throat a playful squeeze that leaves Namjoo wide-eyed and panting. "Should clean that up too," she teases, climbing off the bed on shaky legs to get rid of the harness. She gestures to the mess on Namjoo's stomach and before she can turn away, Namjoo does. 


They scoop up whatever they can with the same fingers, sucking them clean and humming at the way they can taste both of them together. Yoonji chokes. "Oh my god."


"Consume the evidence," Namjoo grins as they pull their fingers from their mouth.


"My dick is hard." 


Namjoo squawks out a surprised laugh, eyes scrunching up with the force of their smile. 


"I need to brush my teeth, and then I'm gonna kiss you so hard," Yoonji says, not even waiting for a response before she rushes back to the bathroom. Namjoo laughs again, flopping back on the bed to properly catch their breath. 


Yoonji cleans the toy first, putting it back in her drawer and then heading back to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Namjoo follows, because they're still a bit sticky and also they miss her already. They get a washcloth and clean up their belly and ass lazily while Yoonji cleans her teeth, turning to watch her when they finish. She gags when she has to brush her tongue, and Namjoo snickers. "This is why I don't let you suck my dick," they comment, laughing loudly when Yoonji chokes again. 


She spits out the toothpaste in her mouth, smacking them on the arm when she finally turns to them. "Fuck off!" she complains, but she's laughing too, spots of color high on her cheeks. 


"You thought it was dysphoria, but this is the ugly truth. I didn't want to tell you, I thought it might hurt your feelings-" Yoonji hits them again, both of them laughing too hard to continue. 


Namjoo wraps their arms around her from behind when she finally gets it together enough to rinse her mouth out. They duck down so they can rest their cheek against her shoulder. "Thank you," they say softly, tucking their nose into her neck. 


"I'm so glad I could take your virginity," Yoonji coos, petting Namjoo's hair. Namjoo pinches her hip, lifting their head so she can turn in their arms.  "Thank you for letting me show you what a prostate is."


"You're insufferable," Namjoo snorts, pulling her back out to the bedroom. They land on the bed with a huff, Yoonji on top of Namjoo, boxing them in with arms on either side of their head. They like it like this, when it feels like she's bigger than them. They'd never admit it, but they like the way it makes them feel small. Yoonji probably knows anyway. 


Finally, she kisses them, long and slow, and thorough. She slides a hand into their hair, brushing it back off of their forehead. Namjoo pulls her down to be closer, craving the feeling of her body against theirs. This is the only time they really allow themselves to be so open in their need for closeness, having spent a lifetime trying to deny that they’re quite an affectionate person, as if that was the thing that would out them.  


“Baby,” Yoonji pulls back to look at them. “Debrief. You enjoyed yourself?”


“Was my coming twice not obvious enough?” Namjoo smiles.


“You know what I mean. I enjoyed it a lot. You’re really hot. And…” she lets her hair fall in front of her face, the only sign that she’s uncertain about this. “It was okay? That I touched you, um- That I jerked you off?”


Namjoo reaches up, tucks her hair behind her ear. “It was more than okay. I liked it,” they reassure her. “Thank you for asking first. I think… what we talked about before. The dysphoria, I think I only feel like that when my dick is like... the star of the show." They shake their head at their own poor wording, but Yoonji giggles. 


"But when you're getting railed into the mattress, then?"


"Yeah, then it's perfect, jerk me off all you want," Namjoo laughs.


"Okay," Yoonji kisses the tip of their nose, making them scrunch up in response. "Next time I won't need to." 


Namjoo groans, a pulse of arousal coursing through them. "I know you already cleaned the strap, but."


Yoonji laughs, pinching his cheek. "Greedy baby."


Namjoo flushes, "Maybe this time I could ride you."


Yoonji is off the bed so fast she elbows them in the ribs. "Say less!" 


"Ow!" Namjoo laughs, rubbing their side.


It's dumb, they're so dumb-- but it’s them, the two of them together, and Namjoo holds that so close to their heart sometimes it feels like they’ll break it from squeezing too hard. “When you come back I want kisses!” 


And kisses they get.