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You're a Wonder, Wonder Woman

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Rosa shoves her.

Which, first of all, rude. Gina was just minding her own business, walking home in the dark with her pepper spray in her not-phone-hand, the same way she does every Friday at 4:30 in the afternoon. Unprovoked attacks should only come from muggers and her mother.

Second of all, ow and also gross. She's probably going to have to detour to the drug store now, just to get an industrial sized bottle of hand sanitizer to remove the random alley wall from her shoulder. Her favorite narwhal sweater will probably never be free of Ebola now. The magic is ruined forever.

Probably most importantly though is, when Rosa uses a big metal bracelet to block some guy from stabbing her with a steak knife--then uses the same bracelet and some fancy wrist action to knock the guy unconscious-- "I knew it," Gina says, too victorious to be bored with it. "I knew you were an alien!"


Rosa is wearing a headband, thigh-high boots, big cuffs on her wrists, and not a lot else.

"I was born in Brooklyn." She's also clearly trying to judge Gina, but that won't even work, because Gina has been on to her for months. There are only so many times a suspect can magically confess before suspicions arise.

Also, the new superhero/vigilante/actual space alien has been all over the news for months. And Rosa's outfit doesn't bother with extra fabric for a mask.

Rosa puts her fists on her hips, and Gina puts it on Instagram before she can object. Hashtag Wonder Woman, or whatever.

"Sure you were, Mr. Kent," Gina says, sliding her phone back into her pocket, where Rosa will probably not reach to find it. Rosa is excellent at boundaries, but less excellent at avoiding violence.

"Whatever," Rosa huffs, still blocking Gina against the super gross alley wall. She's probably snarling, but Gina is basically immune by now anyway. She kicks at the Nike of the probably-not-dead-dude at her feet. "You're welcome for saving your life."

Gina scoffs. It's a really good scoff, full-bodied. The kind of scoff that takes years of practice and a friendship with Jake to perfect. "You saved me 78 cents and a tampon. Frankly, with the loss of my pepper spray, I'm in the red like never before. What kind of distressed damsel do you take me for?"

If Rosa has any sympathy for Gina's real plight, she shows absolutely zero sign of it. Instead, she gets her own phone from... somewhere. If Rosa has actual superpowers, that's the first sign of it that Gina has seen. "Shut up, I have to call this in and change clothes."

"Ugh," Gina groans, long and with a lot of feeling. "A police report? Can't we just kill the guy?"

From Rosa's expression, she's guessing the answer is no. Double ugh. It'd probably ruin her manicure anyway.


Rosa shows up in six news articles, eleven reports in their precinct alone, and trends on twitter overnight.

Gina gets 1112 new followers on Insta, and a brand new life mission.


Rosa stops, her leather jacket making ominous creaking noises as she clenches her fists in the sleeves. "I know you're following me, Gina."

Hint of actual superpowers number two.

Gina pushes her sunglasses up to sit on top of the scarf she just happened to wear to a normal night out with just her closest 1115 friends. Instagram followers. Whatever. "Oh," she says, "Rosa, I didn't see you there. Your outfit is so... bland."

"This is what I always wear."

"I know," Gina says, sadly. "I know, Rosa, and that's my point."

Rosa rolls her eyes so hard she probably would've sprained something if she was actually human. "If you follow me to the bathroom, they'll never find all the pieces of your body."

Gina takes a seat at the bar. "Noted."

No one wants to see Wonder Woman in street clothes anyway.


A fight breaks out on the other side of the room. Rosa sighs, finishes her drink and then Gina's too. "I'm supposed to be an ambassador." She squares her shoulders.

It breaks up before she even gets out the rope thing.


Work is stranger than usual. Jake gets a collar, Amy spends three hours baffled by a small child someone abandoned in her arms, and Charles pins up a picture of Rosa that he'd clipped out of the Times.

In the picture, she's looking to the side, her stance is wide and her features blurry. Her big bracelets and her boots are shiny. Gina has at least six better ones posted from half the distance.

"Is this how Peter Parker feels?" she asks the universe at large.

"Probably," Rosa answers, giving Charles' everything the evilest of eyes. If she could set things on fire with her mind, his entire desk would just be ash right now.

At least Gina is learning how to defeat her, when the time ultimately comes that Rosa slips to the dark side. Even if she'd rather be internet famous.

Maybe she should get a Vine, too.


"Why do you think Wonder Woman doesn't wear pants?" Sarge asks, exactly three minutes after Rosa leaves to chase down a lead in her Walgreens B&E.

Jake turns around in his chair so fast he makes himself dizzy. "Wait, wait! Who isn't wearing pants?" That's actually been his reaction to pantslessness since he was thirteen. One summer they went to the pool, and he had to get stitches. Gina likes to remind him of it at least every other week.

She settles for throwing a stack of post-it notes at his forehead. Luckily it's a really big target, so she can make a direct hit.

"If I had thighs like that, I'd never wear pants either," Charles says, dreamily, his eyes going unfocused. It's equal parts creepy and kind of nice. Which is basically everything involving Charles and sex.

Gina isn't exactly accustomed to not giving her opinion, so she doesn't try very hard. "Have you ever tried to high-kick in lady pants?" she asks with disgust.

"Amen," Amy says, offering her solidarity knuckles to bump. It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that all women hate women's jeans.

"I'm just saying," Sarge says, shrugging.

Gina feels a little bit like bringing out her scoff again, but ultimately decides the conversation isn't worth all that effort.

"The last time I tried to high-kick I bruised my tailbone," Charles says, sadly.

"Why would you tell people that story?" Jake asks, derailed and horrified. As he should be.


Someone keeps slipping pills into drinks of blondes at The Rub.

Rosa breaks three of his teeth throwing him to the ground before he can run away.

She turns to look for backup, before she remembers who she's working as for the night. Her headband catches the neon, the blood on her knuckles is dark. She's got a bruise blooming across her cheek.

Gina doesn't take the picture.


At the morning briefing, the Captain thanks Jake for the arrest.

It's awkward, for twenty seconds of sarcastic applause, before Jake finishes his bow and waves it away. "Thanks, Cap, but everyone knows I didn't really do the hard part."

Rosa's face is clear when she smiles. It's small, and she shares it with Gina like a secret.

"Isn't that the name of your sex tape?" Amy asks, with all the pride of a lion.

"Yes, we are all aware of the real hero, here," Holt says, giving the end of meeting nod. He makes sure to keep his focus on Jake. "But, Peralta, never call me 'Cap' again."

"You got it, boss." He salutes, like the smartass Gina has always known him to be. It's nice to know some things will never change.


Sometimes, it's super hard to be Instafamous.

Gina dances in the records room until her thighs burn. Until she's too tired to do anything but go home and sleep through the night.


Rosa sits on the corner of her desk the next morning, and stares until Gina looks up from carefully applying the second coat of Chick Flick Cherry to her right hand.

"You alright?" she finally asks, nodding her chin at Gina's whole being, like she's somehow still expecting to find a flaw.

"I'm perfect," Gina says, because obviously. It's like Rosa isn't even trying to be a detective anymore. Gina's got it going like Queen Bey.

"You woke up like this?" Rosa cocks a smile.

Gina nods and takes her coffee. She feels like one of those teachers in an after-school special when they finally teach a kid to read. "Flawless."


They go to a club, and dance until Rosa wobbles on her stupidly high heels.

They put drunk girls into cabs heading home, and don't have to fill out any reports. Gina snaps a selfie, when Rosa falls asleep and starts drooling while they share a cab home.

She sets it as Rosa's wallpaper, but only because Rosa didn't think far enough ahead to set a passcode.


Rosa breaks a guy's nose, when he doesn't take no for an answer. Tumblr turns into one gigantic set of heart-eyes. Wonder Woman is a trending topic for three days.

The fanart is pretty good, actually. Especially the one with Rosa in her Wonder Woman stance and her dress blues.


Gina catches the Sarge alone in the break room totally by an almost accident. She was driven by the siren call of fate's coffee, and her genetic predisposition toward speaking what's on her mind with very little thought for the outcome.

His muscles are flexing a lot while he struggles to open a tiny yogurt, and she's not sure how she's thinking about anything else. Terry is sweet. He's got arms the size of Gina's head--and yes, she has measured--and can still be so easily defeated by little bitty things. He's got a picture of his twins on his desk, and lately he's been looking between it and Rosa like he's seen the future and it keeps getting darker.

"You want to know why Wonder Woman wears the costume she does?" Gina asks, stirring too much sugar into her coffee. She doesn't look away from the Sarge though, because the truth is hard, and she refuses to let anyone think she's afraid of it.

"I just think that pants--"

Gina talks over him, because she reached her limit of human stupidity by the third call of the day, "Spoiler alert: it's because it doesn't matter what a woman is wearing." She mimes a mic drop, and leaves him to stew with his yogurt and the realization of his casual sexism.

It feels really good.


Rosa reunites a kidnapped kid with her mom. Everybody cries and has a lot of emotions, and then Rosa and Gina drink an entire bottle of low-shelf vodka with the orange soda Jake left in the break room fridge.

Gina starts a YouTube channel. If she has a playlist of Awesome Wonder Woman Wins then that's between her and the entire world wide web.


"I want in," Gina says, cornering Rosa in the break room. It's cruel, making her choose between coffee and this conversation, but Gina's never been afraid of making the tough choices. Which is just another thing that makes her perfect for the job.

Rosa crosses her arms over her chest. She's wearing purple today, deep like a bruise. Her lips are painted petal pink. "Don't be stupid, Gina."

"I've kept your secret for weeks now. I haven't kept a secret for this long since that month when Jake was 15 and thought he kept wetting the bed because he couldn't pay attention during the 'special dreams' part of his sex ed afternoon. It's time to bring me into the inner fold, Rosa. Just consult any piece of pop culture ever."

"Yeah," Rosa says, and fakes left to get the coffee pot. She only manages because she's some sort of superhuman freak. "And you've been in for weeks. Shut up. I don't want to talk about it."

Gina can respect that.


They break up a dog fighting ring, get two kids out of an abusive home, and stop a Senator mid-plotting to murder his pregnant intern.

It's a good week.


"I feel like it's only fair to warn you that I will take the spin-off deal."

They aren't on a stakeout, because those are boring. They're just drinking near a suspected rapist. For like, funsies.

"I would expect nothing less," Rosa says, voice solid and warm. She keeps her eye on the d-bag lounging against the bar. She nurses at a whiskey sour and her mouth curves up like she's happy.

It's probably one of Gina's top ten accomplishments, which is saying kind of a lot.

"I mean it, I'm just here for the notoriety."

"And who would turn down a chance at an action figure."

"Exactly, my little swan, exactly."


The guy cries and confesses before Rosa can even get out the Lasso. Gina catches it all on video.

"Oh nooo, I totally thought your hands were behind your back." Gina twists her heel against his fingers just a little more, until Rosa kicks aside the broken bottle he was reaching for. The sirens are getting closer, so Gina starts the YouTube upload, bumping against Rosa's shoulder.

Rosa's smile is brighter than the light off her bracelets.

Maybe missions change; but people don't.


Gina takes a selfie, cheek pressed against Rosa's, both of them flushed with alcohol.

Instagram doesn't have a filter good enough.