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Doug’s been a human being for five minutes and already he’s been a nicer and more conscientious date than Joan’s had in years.

“Do I sit like this?” Doug asks. He’s on the couch, but his legs are tucked beneath him. “Men sit like this, right?”

Joan grinned. “No,” she said, “get your feet on the floor!”

“Oh!” they hit the ground with a thump. “That’s why I like you, you’re the best!” he trilled, and licked her palm.

Joan ruffled his hair and his right leg kicked away. She had to resist the urge to pet him under the chin. OK, fine, it was going to take a little doing, getting him socialized. But if a solar eclipse was going to turn her best buddy into a handsome guy, then she was going to enjoy every second of him being in that state.

Even if she did have to remind him not to drink out of the toilet now and again.