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It Was Always You

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17th May - 22h34 - Gulf's Condo, Bangkok 

Gulf was laying flat on his stomach on his bed, a colorful book opened in front of him. His head was resting on his crossed hands and his phone was precariously kept in an upright position against an unsteady mug. Mew's face could be seen on the screen of the device and Gulf unconsciously trailed his gaze over his Phi's exposed biceps. The younger shook his head as he caught himself staring for a bit too long and looked back down at his book. Right. Chapter 15. Not a good idea. Maybe they could skip this one? 

"Phi? Should we skip this one? I'm not sure we need the details on how Tharn fucked Type with ice."

Gulf expected Mew to agree with him as they did for some other chapters containing graphic descriptions. But he saw his Phi shaking his head no, not even unsettled anymore with Gulf's crude way of speaking. What a shame, it was so entertaining to witness his perfect co-actor blush and shutter as the word "cock" was leaving Gulf's mouth. 

"Nong, don't focus on the sexual aspect of the scene and try to understand what Type is feeling at this specific moment. It's important to pinpoint Type's mind changes to portray the character before and after the scene."

Gulf sighed heavily, racking his brain looking for a believable excuse to convince his Phi to skip this part. He found nothing. 

"Since when are you shy reading NC scenes Nong? You usually don't have a problem with it." 

Mew had a point. And Gulf could already discern traces of concern and worry in his co-star's voice. Gulf indeed never had a problem with NC scenes before. 
But that was before. Before he started to notice the way Mew's muscles were rolling under his skin when he was lifting him. Before he felt the hardness of his abs when they were messing around on their makeshift bed in the workshop room. And definitely, before he felt his dick harden during their last love scene rehearsal. But now... Now it was embarrassing because the sole sight of the black words on the white pages in front of him was making him remember the strength of Phi's arms when they were wrapped around him and the way his body felt so good against his, solid and warm. 

The younger felt his cheeks heating up and he knew he was starting to blush. He hoped his wi-fi was unstable enough that his face would be a bit blurry on his Phi's screen. 

"I'm not shy!" That was a lie. "I'm just not in the mood to read gay porn." 

"Because usually, you're in the mood to read gay porn?" He heard the smirk in Mew's voice more than he saw it on the screen. Handsome bastard. He missed the time where his Phi was the one who was shy and wouldn't dare touch him without asking him a hundred times if it was ok. Now, his Phi was sly and hot. And reading how Tharn and Type were having sex wasn't helping Gulf keep his sanity. 

"Phi! You know that's not what I meant!" 

"I know." Mew laughed and the sound awakened a swarm of butterflies in his stomach. Shit. Gulf was only supposed to want his Phi's hot body not getting flustered by his laugh. He chose to ignore the annoying insects for now. They needed to work on their characters. 

"So... Type thought sleeping with Tharn could help him replace the memories of his assault with something better." He saw Mew instantly getting serious and he knew he was safe for now. "He didn't think it would feel good though. He wasn't expecting to enjoy it. He only knew that Tharn's touch was not making him sick." 

Gulf knew he should focus on Type's feelings but his imagination was having a party on its own and his mind was filled with flat chests and strong thighs. Mew's, ideally. He was curious, blame him. Would sleeping with a guy really feel good? He kind of wanted to try it too. With Phi, preferably. His next words were out before his brain to mouth filter could do its goddamn work. 

"P'Mew, did you ever sleep with a man?" 

Really? Why can't he keep his mouth shut for once? 

Mew's bewildered look was priceless and Gulf wanted to tease him but his own embarrassment was too strong. He waited. It looked like his co-actor was seriously considering how to answer him. He knew Mew was good at evading personal questions and wasn't really opened about his love life. 

"I did, Nong. I told you already I didn't care much about gender right?" 

"Huh, you're right." 

Great. Now Gulf felt stupid. And horny. It wasn't a good combo. How will he ever be able to stop thinking about it? He was sure Mr. Perfect was good in bed too, he was good at everything. 

"Why the question though?" 

Why? Because Gulf couldn't stop thinking about his Phi fucking him? Was that a good enough reason to be nosy? The young actor barely managed to swallow back his words before they could be blurted out. 

"Just curious..." That wasn't a complete lie. He was curious. "How it is Phi? Is it better than with a girl?" 

And Gulf was back at cursing himself for his blunt mouth. He was sure Mew didn't want to talk about these things with him. Why would he? They didn't know each other that well. Making out on the floor of a workshop room didn't mean they were that close. 

The silence that followed the question was dragging out and Gulf was searching for something to say to lift the awkward atmosphere. Of course, his loud mouth would fail him when he needed it. At least he was steadily losing his erection. That was something. 

"It's not better, it's different I guess." Gulf whipped his head up toward his phone. He felt those stupid flying bugs swirling in his stomach again at the thought that his Phi was trusting him enough to open up to him. "Just like sex is different with every different person."  

"I wouldn't know I only ever slept with one person."

... 
Fuck him. 
What did he do in his past life that was so wrong he had to suffer like that. 

"Your ex-girlfriend?"

"Obviously, who could it be if not her Phi." Gulf was embarrassed and his defense mechanism was to act tough. He knew his co-actor hated his annoyed tone and stubborn behavior. He could already see Mew's nostrils flaring up and he knew he was trying to keep his temper under control. Mew stayed silent after that, probably because he would have ended up scolding him if he had opened his mouth. 

Gulf was trying the get better too. His Phi was working on his temper and Gulf was trying to be a bit less stubborn and bratty. But sometimes, he was misbehaving on purpose. Especially when his co-start was busy talking with someone else, someone who wasn't him. The younger knew he was acting a bit crazy but he wanted his attention on him all the time, to the extent that he was sometimes pretending he couldn't do anything on his own so his partner would do everything for him. Gulf still didn't know why he was craving his attention. Maybe he just liked having someone waiting on their hand and foot for him. Maybe he just wanted to have Mew's full attention and affection because he was feeling lonely since his break-up. He could use a distraction. He could also use some action in his bed. That's probably why he was obsessing over Mew's body like a madman. He was sexually frustrated. Nothing else.  

"I think I'd like to try..."

"What?" 

"What what?" Did Gulf say anything? What did he say? Gulf had been lost in his head for the past couple of minutes, he couldn't have said anything. 

"You just said you'd like to try!" 

Try what? Sex with a man? Did he really say that aloud? No way! 

"Did not!"

"Did!"

"Really?" It couldn't be. He wasn't stupid to the point of blurting out something like that! Or was he? Maybe his brain really fried or maybe he was cursed and bound to blurt whatever thoughts he had in mind. 

"Yes!" Mew's expression was a mix of exasperation and disbelief. Gulf could understand disbelief but what did he do to deserve an exasperated look? God, his Phi was so moody. Great, now it was Gulf who was exasperated. Ok. Deep breath. It wasn't worth the trouble to get into a spat with the older actor. Back to the main problem. What could he say now? He blurted out that he wanted to try to have sex with a man. Should he just pretend it was a joke? Or should he man up and admit that "yes" he was, maybe, attracted to men. Man. Mew. Fuck. No. 

" Well... Type seems to like it so much he got addicted to Tharn, so I'm curious too." Smooth. Gulf was pretty satisfied with his answer. It was cheeky and close enough to the truth. Good boy. If he wasn't afraid Mew would think he went nuts he would have pet his own head in reward. 

"But Nong, you're straight right?" 

Right. He was straight. Straight as overcooked spaghetti. A straight guy didn't get his dick hard when another guy was playfully blowing air on his neck. Yes, Mew did that. Because it was "fun to see him squirm". Bastard. 

Gulf concluded that it was too late to back away now. He would live up to his infamous blunt personality and speak his mind. 

"I don't know... I thought I was but lately, I'm having those... thoughts."

"What kind of thoughts? " Mew looked genuinely curious. One eyebrow raised and his lips in a concentrated pout. Gulf hoped Mew wouldn't play the perfect older brother role. He wanted the man, not the man's advice. 

"Just... you know... How it would be like, if it would feel good." 

"But why all of a sudden? How did TharnType make you realized you could be "not so straight"?" 

Mew was getting closer and closer to his phone. His face was taking the whole screen and Gulf knew his co-star was getting too invested already, he wouldn't drop the subject anytime soon. He already told him so much anyway. Gulf was seriously considering going for it and ask Mew to sleep with him. But was he ready to risk their still unsteady relationship? 

"Maybe it wasn't only TharnType..." Mew was looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to go on.  "Maybe it was you, Phi."

Gulf immediately hid his head in between his hands, held his breath, and wished for the best. He expected a lot of different reactions. He thought Mew would scream at him, scold him, hang up on him even but none of that happened. Until a loud laugh could be heard through the phone. He peaked through his hands and Gulf saw his co-actor wiping tears from his eyes. 

Gulf was mortified. That laugh, did it mean that Phi wasn't interested? Did he blow up his chance before actually trying? He watched as his Phi calmed down, taking deep breaths while trying to control some persisting giggles. The older one seemed to realize that Gulf wasn't joking if his laughing face morphing into one of utter disbelief was anything to go by. And Gulf blamed his fucking blush for it. He really needed to work on his poker face. 

"What? Really?" 

Gulf wished for the Earth to open under his bed and swallow him and his loud mouth forever. Something close to a groan escaped his lips, unwilling to give Mew any more ammunitions to laugh at his expanse. 

"Gulf? Talk to Phi please? I'm not sure I'm understanding what you're saying." 

Silence. 

"Gulf? Talk or I'm hanging up." 

Gulf knew Mew was getting pissed. He hated it when Gulf wasn't answering him. So what now? Maybe he could hang up and buy a plane ticket for the earliest departure to Siberia. It's a lovely country. He just needed to remember to bring his blue blanket. It's fucking cold in Siberia. 

"Gulf?!" 

Ok. Gulf needed to think rationally. He could do that. Definitely. Maybe. Mew didn't seem upset just frustrated, that was something. He just needed to open his usually perfectly functioning mouth and say something. Anything. 

"I -" 

"You?" 

"I -" 

"Ok, I'm hanging up. Call me when you're done playing around." 

"Wait! I'm sorry P'Mew." Good boy. At least that's a full sentence. Promising start. Now he just needed to find a way to explain to the man that yes he was making his dick hard but that no it wasn't creepy. 
Gulf looked around his room, trying to find an answer in the small cracks on the ceiling or the pile of dirty laundry on the floor by his desk. His eyes landed on the book still lying on his bed and his brain short-circuited, his mouth opening before he could think things through. 

" Have sex with me." 

Gulf was pretty sure he was supposed to not make it creepier than it already was. Gulf worried for a second his Phi would be sick as he saw his face go through every color of the rainbow, before settling for a livid white. 

" I mean... Please?" 

Sure. Because saying please would definitely make it better and Mew would agree in a heartbeat. But Mew wasn't Tharn and the bip bip bip of his phone forced him to look back at it. Only a greenish screen asking him if he was satisfied by the quality of the call glared back at him. Was the universe making fun of him? He was definitely not satisfied with the call. He considered calling his Phi again, to apologize or something. That was the right thing to do, right? Once in his hand, the smartphone started vibrating, startling Gulf, and Mew's picture appeared on the screen. His thumb hovered over the green phone icon a few seconds as Gulf couldn't stop staring at the photo of his Phi. He definitely should change it to something less suspicious than a stolen shirtless picture but now was not the right time. He needed to get a fucking grip and apologize. 

"Are you fucking serious?" 

Aow. Mew was not one to swear easily. How much did Gulf piss him off? The growling voice went straight to his dick and Gulf felt himself hardening. Shit. What was his deal seriously? He needed a functional brain, not a blood-deprived one. He just needed to apologize. 

"I'm sorry Phi, I just... why not?" 

Nop. That wasn't the plan at all. 

"Why not?" Was that sarcasm in his Phi's voice? 

"Yes! I mean, you fucked guys before, I want to get fucked so it's the perfect solution." 

Gulf gave up trying to apologize, his brain was probably taken hostage by his dick. Abort apologizing mission. New plan: make Mew agree to his foolproof idea. How hard would it be to convince a man to have sex? That wasn't rocket science. He was cute and handsome and his legs were to die for.

"Perfect solution?" 

"Yes Phi, are you just going to repeat everything I say?" 

Gulf risked a glance at his phone and saw Mew on the verge of breaking down. 

"I don't even know what to say. I'm used to you prattling non-sense but this is on a whole new level, Gulf." 

"Did I leave you speechless?" Gulf laughed loudly before stopping abruptly. The dark aura emanating from his phone was giving him the chill. He wouldn't make Mew agree with his plan by making fun of him. Focus. He needed to focus. And think. What was Mew's weakness? Chopper? Not available. Cute socks? He looked at his feet and glared at the bare skin. Not available. Acting cute? 

"Phi~" A little bit of whining always worked before. Sure it was to bribe the actor so he would go fetch him food but it was worth a try. 

"Phiii~ Listen to me." 

"What?" 

"Don't you like me?" A pout and some puppy eyes. 

"It has nothing to do with that Gulf." Jackpot. Mew's voice was already softening and Gulf screamed internally. 

"It does Phi. You like me right? You always say I'm your favorite Nong." 

"You are Gulf but do you realize what you're asking me?" 

"I'm asking you to fuck me." Real smooth. What happened to acting cute? He might as well just- 

"No." 

"No?" 

"No." 

"Whyyyy?" Some more whining. And Gulf didn't have to pretend this time. 

"Seriously? I have an endless list of why it would be a disaster but I'll spare you. No means no and that's final." 

"Huh ok, Phi." Resignation. "But who am I going to ask then?" Before the final blow. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, you don't want to so I'm not going to force you Phi but I need to find someone else to do it." Gulf knew he wasn't playing fair when he saw Mew's cristal fallen expression. He needed to fix it. He wasn't an asshole for god's sake. He won't manipulate his Phi into sleeping with him. He wasn't Type. He should- 

"Ok." 

"Ok, what?" Gulf was sure he was hearing things, his dick might have definitely melted his brain. 

"Ok, I'll do it. Don't go around asking just anyone to sleep with you Nong, that's dangerous!" Gulf saw concern written all over his face and he hated himself a little for that. 

"Are you sure Phi? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to force your hand or anything." 

His apology was dismissed with a hmm and warmth spread inside his stomach and the forgotten little bugs came back flying inside. For once, Gulf didn't know what to say. It was most probably down to the numerous explicit mental images that were swirling inside his head. He probably wouldn't be able to sleep tonight and his not so little friend down there was happy to make its presence noticed once again. 

"Thank you Phi, I really appreciate it." Was thanks really the thing to say in this situation? Well, Gulf didn't know, he never manipulated a friend into having sex with him before. Was he a bad person? Fuck. He shouldn't have done that. 

"I have one condition." 

"Sure, what is it?" 

"I know you want to experiment, and that's perfectly normal but it will happen only once. We can't risk our relationship, Gulf. A lot of people are depending on us and on our ability to work together." 

Gulf wanted to cringe at his own disappointment. How a single night - or afternoon, he wasn't picky - with his Phi could be enough to quench the thirst he had for him? Did he have a choice though? He should be satisfied that his Phi agreed to it in the first place but his greedy ass was already sulking at the condition. And his heart did something funny as if a vice tried to squeeze it until the organ could fit into the palm of a hand.  

"Ok, Phi." 

"Good. Now that it's settle, can we go back to work?" Gulf wasn't sure he believed the nonchalant attitude of his Phi. No one could be this detached. Not after what they just talked about. And Gulf wasn't really in the mood to work anymore, rubbing one off sounded way more appealing. But he wouldn't push his luck. 

"Right... So Type tried to make Tharn sleep with him so he would overcome his trauma." 


19th May - 14h52 - Workshop Studio, Bangkok 

Mew was contemplating his life's choices, lying on their makeshift bed on the floor of the workshop room, arms full of a warm and sleeping boy. He could already see a wet patch forming on his shirt as Gulf was peacefully drooling on him, completely unaware of his internal storm. He really was weak huh? Give him a cute and bratty boy and he would let him sleep on him, drool on him, and still thank the universe for it. He liked Gulf. He wouldn't trick himself into thinking he wasn't affected by the younger man. It wasn't his fault. Gulf was checking all the boxes on his "Things to make Mew Suppasit fall for you" list. He was pushing all the right buttons, made his protectiveness go into overdrive, and woke all his possessive instincts up. 

He looked down at the boy still snoring on his chest and carded a hand in his messy hair. His fingers got caught in a tangle and disturbed the sleeping boy. Gulf's eyes fluttered open and he locked his gaze with Mew's. The older actor instinctively wiped the dry saliva stuck at the corner of the tempting mouth. Really tempting. Too tempting. He shifted his eyes to the side and noticed everyone had left the room.

"P'Mew?" Soft voice and sleepy eyes. Someone needed to save Mew before all his self-control completely disintegrated. 

"Hmm?" That was the safest response. And Mew had to fight every fiber of his body to not roll the boy over and crush him under his body. 

"Can I go back home with you tonight?" 

Really? Today? When all of Mew's thoughts were already poisoned by Gulf? When his body was so on edge he could feel electricity crackled down to his toes? 

"I'm not sure..." Yes. "I have work." He didn't. "Another time?" Could he just take him home right now? 

Mew saw Gulf's eyes filling with disappointment. His heart clenched. Damn it, he was so weak. He couldn't do it, he wanted to back off their deal. Right now. 

"Gulf, I- " 

Oompf. A solid weight dropped down on his pelvic and Gulf was looking at him from above, straddling him. Hands anchored on his chest. He was so cute, his tangled hair, his pouty lips, and droopy eyes. His shiny retainers adding an adorable lisp to his speech. It was already too late right? He was so infatuated with this boy already. Damn. It was fast, even for him who wore his heart on his sleeve. 

"Please Phi?" Mew wanted out. 

"You promised Phi." He needed to tell him. 

"Please? I want you so much, Phi." Huh? "I'm so hard already." What? "I need your help P'Mew." Help? Yes. Whatever his Nong needed, Mew would provide. He could help. Definitely. 

Gulf, probably noticing Mew was glitching, pushed his hips down on Mew harder. Damn, he was hard indeed. Mew's brain rebooted and his hands grabbed the slender waist in front of him. 

"Stop it Gulf." What was that growling sound? Did it really come from him? His protectiveness and possessiveness didn't come out of nowhere. He was a lion inside, always ready to guard fiercely what was his. Mew took a deep breath and tried to regain control of himself. He was no animal. He was in control. 

"Calm down, it will go away." Maybe. 

"But Phi, you're hard too." Right. Technical difficulties. He just had to calm down too. No problem. 

"If you'd stop grinding your ass on me, I wouldn't be hard." Maybe it wasn't the best thing to say. Mew wasn't sure giving verbal confirmation of his excitement to Gulf was very smart. He saw the two dark orbs above him glinting, followed by a hard thrust down his dick. Enough. The lion roared inside. 

Mew toppled them down and hovered over Gulf. It was dangerous. He should back off immediately. The staff would be back sooner or later. His gaze zeroed on the plushy bottom lip caught between white teeth. He never let himself get carried away before. It was all Gulf's fault. Gulf and his stupid experiment plan. Gulf and his cute mouth and doe eyes. 

"Why are you never listening to me? What are you looking for? For Phi to put you in your place?" It wasn't Mew talking, it was the lion and its need to dominate, control, and submit. Mew hated this part of himself. It always scared his lovers away, too possessive, too controlling. Too much.

He promptly ignored the flash of lust in Gulf's eyes and the full-body tremor. He scrambled away from the boy and sat on the blanket. A good meter away from Gulf. Safe. And cold. His stomach twisting into a knot. 

A tentative hand came to rest on his forearm and Mew tried and failed to look at Gulf's face. Gaze stubbornly stuck on his own hands resting on his knees. 

"Phi?" Mew wanted to run, far away, as far as he could. "P'Mew, are you ok?" But the soft voice coaxed him out of his own head. 

"Yes." The sentence as short as his temper. He didn't want to look at Gulf. He didn't want to scare him. And he especially didn't want his heart to get broken again. 

Mew finally risked a glance at Gulf, the younger actor seemed lost in his thoughts. What could he be thinking? Maybe he did scare him off after all. Good. That way Gulf would drop that stupid plan of his and allow Mew to get over his stupid crush. 

Suddenly, Gulf lifted his gaze, his eyes bright and excited. What was he up to now? That boy was giving Mew a headache. Mischeviouness was written all over his pretty face. So much for scaring him, damn it. 

"So..." His trademark bratty smirk was back. "Can I come home with you tonight?" 

"No." Monosyllabic answers seemed to be Mew's favorite now. 

"Why?" If he wasn't already piercing Mew's heart with his pleading eyes, Gulf's sulky pout would probably rip it into shreds. 

"Because." Yup. Mew was sulking too now. Who said grown men couldn't sulk? 

"Because of what? You agreed to do it with me already Phi~." 

And Mew really didn't know why he agreed. He knew it was a bad idea. The worst idea. He already had a hard time keeping his crush in check, heck he was already doting on him every chance he got, what was he expected to do after having the boy in his bed once? Pretend nothing happened? Masturbating at the memory for the rest of his life? Ok, He was maybe a bit dramatic, he wasn't that in love yet. Still, he only agreed after Gulf threatened to sleep with someone else. Gulf was his Nong, his co-star, his boy. What was he supposed to do? Throw him into someone else arms? No. He promised to take care of him, to protect him. No way he'd let that happen.

He needed to talk Gulf out of it. With some rational facts and some coaxing. It had to work.

"Nong, I don't think it's a good idea." And no, that cute frown won't make him waver. "Lines between us are already blurry enough. We got too close too quickly. I'm sure you are just confused." Facts. Only facts. 

"I'm confused indeed." Mew was going to sigh in satisfaction but- 

"I'm confused about my sexuality. I'm not confused about you, Phi. I know you think I'm nuts but I really need your help. You make me hot and your touch makes me shiver. I know we're crossing a line if we sleep together but nothing bad will happen. We know we are just friends. I'm your Nong, and you help me discover new things about myself. It's not like we would be in a relationship Phi~" 

The shattering sound of his heart echoed in Mew's ears alongside Gulf's laugh. Of course, they wouldn't be in a relationship. Mew knew he should back off immediately. But he was just a man. And he wanted Gulf. Every cell in his body wanted Gulf. This cute and bratty boy was making him feel alive, he was crawling under his skin, finding shelter in his heart. And Mew knew, no matter how much he'd try to fight it, he'd do anything for him. Because Mew would always protect what's his, like a lion would protect his pack. And Gulf might have not been his to keep but he was his to take care of. It would have to be enough. 

"Do you want to get pizza on our way home?" 

The smile splitting Gulf's face was enough. The hot fire of delusional hopes was starting to burn down, slowly replaced by warmth. Something soft and subtle, an ember. 


19th May - 21h39 - Mew's Condo, Bangkok 

They were sitting on Mew's dark couch, too close as always. Gulf could feel the heat from his Phi's body where their legs were touching. But it wasn't close enough. It never was. So Gulf shifted a bit more until their thighs were flushed against one another. Better. He bit into his slice of pizza and some tomato sauce dripped down his chin. Out of habit, Gulf looked at Mew and made a soft sound deep down his throat to catch the older man's attention. Without missing a beat, Mew reached for his chin and wiped the sauce with his thumb before absentmindedly sucking it. Wow. Gulf never got hard this fast. 

He dropped his slice on the plate resting on the small coffee table. He laughed at the confused expression Mew sported as he also grabbed his slice of pizza and put it with his on the table. His attention got caught by a drop of water falling down the side of his partner's neck, proof of the shower they took before settling down on the sofa to eat their dinner. Separately, the shower. Obviously. Not that Gulf would have minded but the embarrassing process he went through to prepare himself for the night was better left unseen. 

Gulf observed closely his Phi, his shy expression, the nervous tapping of his fingers on his thighs, and the way the corner of his mouth twitched out of anticipation or fear, Gulf wasn't sure. He wasn't really good at reading people, hell most of the time he didn't even know what he was feeling himself. 

"Stop staring, you're creeping me out." Mew's false light-hearted voice brought him back to Earth. "Give me back my pizza, I'm hungry." 

"I'm hungry too." Mew raised an eyebrow at him, probably wondering what Gulf was playing at. Little did he know, Gulf was done playing, he wanted some action. Right now preferably. 

"Can we do it now?" Big black eyes stared incredulously at him. Too straightforward? He never romanced his ex-girlfriend when they were together, he wasn't going to start for his Phi. His hot and appetizing Phi. With his muscles and white skin. Fuck, he is getting sidetracked again. 

"So? Yes?" Impatience was his middle name. 

"Why are you in a rush? We're at my condo, I won't disappear." Smartass. Gulf knew Mew was stalling time, he couldn't blame him, he was nervous too, under the several layers of horniness, excitement, and horniness. Did he say he was horny? Gulf was horny. 

"I want it now." Rectification, impatient brat was his middle name. And Mew seemed to like it if the slight curl at the corner of his lips was anything to go by. 

Sensing his Phi wouldn't make the first move, Gulf took the matter in hand and invaded his Phi's personal space, straddling his lap. Nothing new here, hours of love scenes rehearsal would have already stripped him off of his shyness. 

"Are you sure?" Gulf wrapped his arms around Mew's neck. Fingers already tangling in the soft hair. 

"Yes." Gulf pushed his already hard member down the older's lap. No doubt would subside after that right? 

"It's a really bad idea, Nong." It's an excellent idea. The best idea. Gulf felt Mew hardening under him as he slowly rubbed circles on his partner's dick. Definitely the best idea in the entire world. 

"Nong, we should reconsi-" Mew's words were swallowed by Gulf's mouth. The kiss was light and soft, lips caressing lips in a slow dance. It tasted a bit like tomatoes and cheese but Gulf couldn't care less. His whole body was vibrating with anticipation. He opened his mouth as he would do in rehearsal and Mew got the message. Gulf immediately sucked on the soft muscle that entered his mouth, tongues loving one another in a delicate mess of saliva. The grip on his hips tightened and he felt Mew forced a thrusting motion on them. The younger obliged. He pulled a bit on the hair in his hands, wickedly forcing his Phi's head back. Much better. At this angle, he could devour that sweet mouth to his heart content. 

But something was missing. Gulf was pretty sure Mew should have been less... passive. If it wasn't for the deadly grip on his waist, he would think Mew was completely letting him in charge of the kiss. Gulf wasn't against the idea but if he had only one night with Mew he wanted the real him. The full package. The hotness, the dominance, the affection. He wanted everything from him. And he knew how to make it happened. He hoped he knew at least. 

"Didn't know Phi was so obedient. Maybe I should be the one fucking you." 

His lips only millimeters away from Mew's, he ran his tongue on the man's bottom lip. He wasn't shy when it came to sex. He had experience and had been told he was good but he didn't know where all this confidence was coming from. But the mere idea of riling his Phi up was making wonder on him. Gulf wanted to pat his own head, good boy. He had always got what he wanted. Today wouldn't be an exception. 

The man caught his tongue and sucked hard on it, pulling a moan out of him. A hand trailed up his side to his hair, fisted around some strands, and pulled him down in a bruising kiss. Fuck. It was so much better than Gulf ever thought it would be. Their kisses in rehearsal seemed bland in comparison. Lacking the burn of teeth against his lips, the bruises on his hips, and the heat emanating from his one-night lover. 

"Don't play with fire Nong, you'll get burned." 

Electricity ran down Gulf's body. Even his toes curled under the heavy aura suddenly suffocating the room. But Gulf wanted to play. Fuck, he wanted to play until there was nothing left of him. He wanted to experience it all. He never felt like that before. It was amazing. Consuming. Explosive. Addictive. He wanted more, more and more. 

"Why? Think you can... how did you say?... Put me in my place Phi? You're going to have to try harder than that."  

Maybe he had a death wish, or maybe he was just plain stupid. The already dark eyes of his Phi turned a shade darker and the muscle on his jaw twitched at the pressure Mew was putting on it. Damn it, Gulf should have known by now that Mew never played fair, he's a cheater through and through. 

"I'm going to fuck you..." The hand in his hair tightened painfully. "...until your smart mouth can only moan my name..." The other one came down on his ass, squeezing it tightly. "...brat." 

And damn if it wasn't the hottest thing Gulf ever heard. He moaned at the words, his body trembling like a leaf, heat consuming every fiber of his being. What was happening to him? He probably shouldn't feel that overwhelmed by mere words, or by his Phi. He welcomed a new kiss with a shiver and let himself be ruined by the older man. Hot. Too hot. He needed to cool down. So Gulf removed his shirt, throwing it on the floor. His eyes met two obsidian orbs. It was too tempting so- 

"You're all talk, Phi. I'm still waiting for you to do something worth making me shut up." 

Gulf held his breath waiting for Mew to say something. Anything. But nothing came. He watched as the older took a deep breath, the dangerous sparkles in his eyes died alongside the heavy air surrounding them. Gulf was confused. What was going on? Mew's hands released their tight grip and went to rest on Gulf's waist, gently holding him close. He parted his lips as Mew claimed them once again. It was soft. So soft. And gentle. It felt like an apology and a promise. Gulf had no idea what was going on in his Phi's mind but he would take whatever his Phi was willing to give him. So he let the older man push him back up on his feet without resistance. 

"Let's go to my room, Gulf." Mew grabbed his hand and pulled him gently behind him. Gulf was having a hard time understanding the situation. One minute Mew was all "I'm going to ruin you" and the next he was been guided to his bedroom with utmost care. 

Gulf was left standing in the middle of the bedroom, Mew was already sitting on the edge of the bed. 

"Gulf? Come on, sit with me."

Gulf took the hand that was reaching for him and sat down next to Mew. Body fully flushed against Mew's. As usual. The weird mood was starting to make Gulf worried. His dick was still hard and he really wanted things to keep going. He'd do anything to have those sinful lips on him again. Fuck, they only kissed a little, and Gulf was completely obsessed already. He should say something light to cheer up his Phi. Something witty so they'd laugh it off. Something bratty maybe so Mew would smile and be exasperated all at once. 

"Can I have a blowjob?" Should Gulf even be surprised by his own mouth? No. What surprised him was how fast Mew went down on his knees in between Gulf legs. He definitely wasn't expecting that. 

"What are you doing P'Mew?"  

"Giving you a blowjob." Right. Because that should help Gulf understand what was going on? 

"Just like that? I just need to ask and you execute?" 

"Isn't it always like that? You ask for something and Phi gives it to you, nothing new here." Mew's cheeky smile immediately helped Gulf throw his worries away. Good. That was good. Mew wasn't weird anymore. Who knew what went through his weird mind? Probably nothing important or he would have told Gulf right? Now it was time to finally enjoy this little experiment. 

Gulf leaned back on his hands, raised an eyebrow while a smirk was decorating his lips. "Then... go ahead Phi." 

Mew laughed at his antics and grabbed his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. And Gulf couldn't wait for those lips to perform their magic on another part of his body. A part that was hard for a good half an hour now. 

"Come on, Phi. I'm dying here." He tried to push Mew's head down but his hand was batted away. 

"Be patient, Nong. There's no rush." Hmm, Patience was definitely not his middle name though. He quickly lifted his ass and dragged his sweatpants down his knees, self-consciously keeping his underwear on. Mew was still on the floor in front of him. It was almost obscene. Gulf loved it. 

"You look really pretty like that, Phi." Mew raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. 

"Really? Do you think this attitude will get your dick wet?" 

"Don't know Phi, you're the one who said I just had to ask... So... remove your shirt." 

Gulf waited for the moment his Phi would tell him off. Surely he wouldn't let him get away with so much. But it never came. Instead, Mew fixed his gaze to Gulf's, dark and teasing. Fuck. He was so hot. As each button came undone, more skin was exposed and Gulf had to catch himself before he'd start drooling. It really was happening right? He was going to sleep with his Phi. Tonight. Oh my god. Alright, deep breath. He had asked for it, now wasn't the time to freak out. 

"You're okay, Baby?" Baby?! And no, Gulf's heart didn't skip a beat at the pet name, and his cock didn't harden even more. No. Absolutely not. And if it did happen then it was circumstantial. 

"I- Baby?" 

"What? I'm going to fuck you and I can't call you Baby?" 

"No... Yes... I mean... of course, you can call me... that." Gulf was shuttering. Why was he getting flustered like that? It was just a stupid pet name. But the blush creeping down his neck wasn't agreeing. And the butterflies in his stomach were having a blast. 

"Ok Baby." He put his hands on Gulf's hips. Big and warm. "Lift your pretty ass, Baby." Gulf complied and Mew removed his underwear. "Thank you, Baby." 

"Stop saying Baby please!" Damn it, Phi was such a pain in the ass! Figuratively. Maybe literally, but that would be for later. 

"Sorry... Baby." And Mew's laughter echoed in the room while Gulf tried to kick him. His sweatpants got in the way and he only managed to fumble on Mew who caught him before he could actually crash onto the older. 

"Don't fall for Phi yet, Gulf." 

"I hate you Phi." Gulf hated himself more. He was seating on a bed, with one of the most gorgeous men he ever met. Said man was on his knees, in front of him, apparently ready to get acquainted with his fucking dick. Dick that was fully erected and making a mess on the skin of his stomach. How he was still hard after all that nonsense was a mystery. But he was, and he was getting embarrassed at being this exposed while he almost landed on his face after a ridiculous attempt at kicking Mew. 

The older man watched him attentively and Gulf didn't know what he was searching for. And then he took the matter into his hand. The matter being Gulf's dick. And fuck. It felt good. Too good. The hand was so big it made his cock look smaller than it was. Gulf was mesmerized at the sight. 

"You won't hate me for long, Baby." Mew's playful attitude was slowly melting into something darker, sexier. Gulf held his breath as he watched his Phi's head getting closer and closer to his member. He tried and failed to hold a moan back when a soft and wet tongue licked the head of his dick.

"Come on Phi." Gulf should have learned to shut up. 

"You're going to have to say the magic word this time, Baby." 

Gulf couldn't hold his partner's stare. It was too intense and lustful. He diverted his eyes, looking anywhere but in front of him. What a shame. His Phi was such a sight. 

"Come on Phiiii." A bit of whining should work, right? 

"Say please." No. Gulf was stubborn like this. Ask him to do something and he'd do the opposite. Damn, he really was a brat. 

"Phiiii." 

"Say it." And Mew leaned down again to blow on his dick, the cold breath sending shivers down Gulf's spine. It was driving him crazy already. He was stubborn but he was also weak so... 

"Please." It was barely a whisper. And Gulf's cheeks redden even more at the smile his Phi sent him. 

The first few licks were tentative. Then Mew took his head in his mouth and warmth surrounded Gulf, making his head - the one on his shoulders - light and empty. As if a fog of lust had suddenly materialized in his brain. The obscene suction sounds were loud in the mostly silent room, accompanied by Gulf's soft groans and whimpers. He firmly grabbed at Mew's shoulders to keep himself grounded. 

"You're so good Phi." He really was. He never had a blowjob like that. It was just perfect. Perfect pressure, perfect wetness. Just perfect. 

"You didn't see it all yet, Baby. Come on, don't be shy. Grab my hair." 

Gulf immediately take a hold of mews head, fingers tangling in his Phi's soft hair. 

"Don't hold back, Phi can take it." And Mew went down on him again. Taking more and more of his cock. Gulf instinctively bucked his hips and fucked himself inside the warm cavern. He was going to apologize but his Phi didn't chock nor gag. He just moaned and took more of his dick down his throat. 

"Fuck Phi! How do you do that? Oh my god, so good."

Gulf was going to go crazy. He soon felt his stomach tightened and he clenched hard, trying to hold back his orgasm for a bit longer. It was vain as he felt Mew's throat closed around his head at each thrust and he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself. 

"I'm gonna cum Phi, move" 

Mew only sucked harder. Gulf's fingers tightened around the brown locks. His breathing was so erratic he was afraid he'd hyperventilate. 

"I'm serious. I'm gonna come in your mouth if you keep going." Mew only moaned around his shaft and Gulf let go in a loud groan. Little shiny stars appearing before his eyes. Sparkles of electricity traveling down his whole body. He finally went limp, letting himself fall onto his back on the bed. 

He tried to regain his breath with difficulty. Through the loud beats of his heart ringing in his ears, he heard Mew get up and was soon met with his gorgeous face as Mew lied on top of Gulf. And the handsome bastard was heavy. 

"You're crushing me." He was breathless and Mew wasn't helping at all, crushing him under his muscular body. Gulf entertained the idea of running his hands on the smooth expanse of the older's back before a fat pout took residence on his Phi's face.  

"Are you calling me fat?" 

"Yes." A real brat. Through and through. 

Mew loudly huffed at him and dropped on his back on his bed, far from Gulf. Not that far, but Gulf's dramatic ass converted the 10cm separating them into one good meter. Was Mew seriously sulking? Gulf shook his shoulder, trying to gain his attention. No answer. He shook him again. No answer. Damn, his Phi really was a sulky asshole. And Gulf couldn't even tell if it was real or not. He never could tell. If he could, you'd bet they wouldn't fight so much. 

"Phiiii~" No reaction. "P'Meeew~ Talk to me please?" The usually foolproof combo of puppy eyes, cute pout, and childish whining failed miserably as Mew stubbornly kept on ignoring him. 

Gulf clumsily removed the sweatpants and underwear dangling around his knees. He was stark naked. It was embarrassing. So embarrassing. But Gulf had a Phi to make up with and he couldn't afford to be embarrassed right now. He swiftly straddled the man, who apparently wasn't expecting him on top of him judging by the way his eyes almost fall out of their sockets. 

"How come you're so good at blowjob, phi?" If cute wasn't working, it was time for bigger guns and Gulf caught the twitch of Mew's lips.

"Lot of practice." Something twisted in Gulf's stomach. He hoped he wasn't getting sick. 

"It was the best blowjob ever." 

"Really?" Gulf almost snickered at how weak Mew was for praises and the self-satisfied smile resting on his face was enough for Gulf to know the danger zone was avoided. 

"It was, Phi." Gulf smiled gently. He was a brat but he didn't want Mew to be upset with him. He really liked his partner. Liked him a lot. He was such a good mentor and he always took care of Gulf so well. Even tonight, he was-

"You know your naked right, Gulf?" Gulf flushed at the words, he had almost forgotten that tiny detail. 

"So? Are you shy? You've already been close and personal with my dick anyway." It was Mew's turn to blush and Gulf was delight by the sight. It was his favorite thing to do. Well... after being on the receiving end of one of Mew's blowjobs. The thought made his dick twitched again, renewing its interest. 

"I want more now." Gulf could see he wasn't the only one affected as Mew's pupils blew out, adding a feral glint to his dark eyes. 

Mew hesitated for a few seconds before - 

"Ok." Gulf beamed at him. "Lie down, Nong." 

Gulf's nerves kicked back in and he shakily lied on his back, feeling exposed under Mew's stare. Fuck, he was going to be devoured alive. 

"Lube?" The braveness. Gulf was seconds away from kicking his Phi out of the bed. 

"What? Like that? You won't kiss me first or something?" Mew chuckled at him before dropping a soft kiss on his lips 

"Of course I will, just give me the lube you brat, it's in the drawer." 

Gulf retrieved the bottle and a condom from the bedside table and handed it to Mew. The older man absentmindedly dropped them beside them. He ran his hands on Gulf's torso as he was kneeling over one of Gulf's thighs, sending tiny shivers down his spine. Adventurous fingers caressed his nipples and Gulf swallowed back a moan. He felt tingly and a bit awkward. He wasn't one to be self-conscious but his Phi close to perfect chest was a constant reminder of his own little tummy and lack of muscle. 

"P'Mew?"

"Mmm?" The man was fully focused on his body, exploring every mount and dip with his gentle hands. His stare was hungry and Gulf felt better, lighter. His Phi wanted him. As much as Gulf wanted his partner. 

"I'm not scared, not at all but... please be gentle with me?" Gulf wasn't scared. He wasn't. Definitely not.

"Of course I will, Baby." Mew's smile was reassuring and Gulf relaxed a bit more. But it wasn't enough. Mew hovered over him, body fully covering Gulf, enveloping him in warmth and hands finding his hair. Gulf waited until their lips were millimeters apart and stopped him. 

"Wait!" Why did it sound panicky? Gulf wasn't panicking at all. He was just a bit self-conscious. 

"What again?" Did Mew just growl? What the hell. Gulf was having a mental breakdown and his Phi was growling at him? 

"Can you undress too? I feel a bit alone here." Good boy, he didn't even kick Mew for growling at him. He was getting better at keeping himself in check. Or maybe he was just too freaking nervous to move a muscle.  

As Mew was undressing, Gulf openly stared at him. He wanted to touch him. Dig his nails into his skin. Leave proofs of his night with his Phi. How many times did he jerk off to that though? Probably too many to count. Mew finally removed his underwear and Gulf hadn't been able to hold back the choked sound that escaped his lips. 

"What?!" Mew sounded way too alarm. Gulf should be used to his constant worry but this time it might have been a bit excessive. Unless Gulf really did sound scared. But he was sure he didn't. 

"You're so... so... big phi! It will never fit in my ass." Wow. Not panicking at all. Gulf could see Mew trying to conceal his laughter. 

"Gulf." The way Mew dragged his name, slow and teasing, made a fire start in his veins. The husky voice was turning him on. So much that his hand instinctively went down to grab his cock. 

"No." Mew caught his hand before it reached its goal and Gulf wasn't sure what Mew meant by no. No, his dick wasn't that big? No, he couldn't touch his cock? Both? He didn't know but he let his Phi pinned his hand beside his head. 

"Don't touch yourself yet, Baby. And even if I'm flattered, I'm not that big. Don't worry, it'll fit perfectly with appropriate prepping." So it was both. Figured. Phi was such a control freak, he would be one in bed too, Gulf should have guessed. 

"You sure you want to keep going?" 

"Yes." Gulf used his free hand to pull Mew down by his neck. With no resistance, the older man dived on his lips, and both of their mouth melted into a sensual kiss. 

Gulf felt like they had kissed for hours, his lips were swollen and hurting. He didn't know how but Mew was now settled in between his legs and was caressing his thighs and his hips. Their cocks were sliding against one another and Gulf was sure it wasn't supposed to feel that good. He whimpered pitifully when Mew went down his neck, his sensitive skin getting sucked on, licked, and bitten. If he had any strength left in him he would have cursed the older man for leaving marks on his skin but Gulf felt too good to care. 

Gulf's body felt like it was on fire, each square centimeter of his skin touched by Mew felt raw and tight, and he moaned loudly when Mew licked on his right nipple. It took Gulf by surprise. He never really gave his chest a lot of attention, but he was definitely enjoying himself now. Mew rewarded his noises with a cheeky smile and kept his ascension down his body. He dipped his tongue inside Gulf's belly button and seemed disappointed at the lack of reaction from the younger. Was it his fault he wasn't ticklish? Gulf diverted his attention to Mew, enjoying the way the hard muscles were rolling under his skin when Mew was moving. He squeezed and grabbed at the arms, feeling them contract under his touch. 

Mew finally reached his member. And fuck, he gave the underside a big fat lick, from root to head, eyes never breaking contact with Gulf's. The noise that left Gulf sounded desperate even to his own ears. How was he supposed to not come again in five seconds? This was too good. Mew was too good. 

"Nong? Open your legs for Phi, please." Gulf would have liked to say something, anything, complain even, but he complied and opened them shily. Mew immediately ran a lubed finger over his rim. 

"Oh my god~" It felt good, and weird, but mostly good and Gulf couldn't decide if he was yearning for the touch or wanted to run away from it. 

Mew claimed his lips again, lying on top of him, his hand resting in between Gulf's spread open legs. He kissed him, again and again, while opening him slowly. It was good, so good. Gulf was soon too busy moaning to kiss back properly so he contented himself with keeping his mouth open and let the older do what he wanted with him. He felt the lube dripping down his thighs, the wetness of Mew's fingers, the slight burn as the third finger entered him but he especially felt how his whole body arched as a wave of sparks ran through him when Mew's fingers dabbed onto his prostate. Fuck, that was unlike anything Gulf ever felt. 

"How do you want it?"

"I... I don't know." Gulf wasn't thinking straight anymore. He could only see Mew, his hands on him, and in him. His whole world narrowed to only him and the pleasure the older brought him. 

"Ok Baby." Mew looked at him in the eye, and Gulf got lost in the galaxy living there. "Turn on your front for Phi." Gulf executed the demand, without complaining, sex really was softening him, damn it. "Good boy." Gulf scowled at him to the best of his ability, which wasn't a lot. He promptly ignored the way the praise made his chest tighten and his dick spurt precum.

"Hurry the fuck up." 

He felt Mew freeze on top of him. Oops. Did he upset him again? 

"Just so you know, I won't "hurry the fuck up" right now because I don't want you to end up in tears but remember you asked for it when you'll scream my name later." The dark husky chuckle made Gulf's blood boiled. Damn, he was going to get it. Gulf couldn't wait for it. 

Gulf felt Mew enter him and he unintentionally clenched down on him. Pretty hard judging by the way Mew hissed at him. He tried to relax, it wasn't that painful, just uncomfortable. It was overwhelming in a way Gulf hadn't expected. He reached behind him to grab at Mew and the older caught his hand, before bringing them both close to Gulf's chest to keep Gulf tightly against him. It was so slow and gentle, Gulf let himself drown in so much tenderness. The slow pace was driving him crazy and Mew was expertly teasing his sweet spot each time he thrust deep inside of him. 

"Is it good?" Fuck, couldn't his Phi already guess with the astronomical amount of moans escaping Gulf's lips? 

"Good, so good." Gulf barely managed to form the words and they ended up in a long whimper. 

"Remember what you said to Phi?" Gulf couldn't. He couldn't even remember his name for fuck sake. So he frenetically shook his head. 

"You said that Phi should "hurry the fuck up" right?" Maybe. Yes, Gulf might have said that. It wouldn't be a surprise if Gulf said something stupid. He's used to it.  

"I think it's time for you to own up to your words," Mew whispered into his ears and Gulf knew he was screwed. 

He quickly prayed for his ass before he felt Mew pulled him up on his knees, a hand between in shoulder blades forced him to keep his head down. Gulf felt his already flushed face redden even more at the embarrassing position. But he didn't complain. He stayed put and indulged himself in the praises Mew was giving him. He definitely was a good boy. When he wanted to be.  

Mew quickly reentered him and fucked him in earnest. Gulf let himself be manhandled and took whatever his Phi was giving him. He promised to make him scream and he ferociously achieved his goal. Gulf wrapped one of his hands around his member and stroke himself in time with the older's thrusts. He was close, so close. He could feel his insides tightening, his blood caught on fire and his skin was crackling with electricity. He didn't try to hold his release. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He never came so hard. His body went limp and pliant, his ass remaining up only because of the grip Mew had on it. His Phi promised he would end up in tears and screaming his name. And his Phi always kept his promises. 

"I can't believe..."  Gulf was whimpering at the growling whisper in his ear. "... that I manage to fuck the brattiness out of you."  

Gulf clenched down on Mew as retaliation. Did his partner really think Gulf wouldn't be a brat anymore? How foolish of him. Gulf braced himself and used the little strength he had left to fuck back against Mew. Hard. He was overstimulating himself but getting back at his Phi was top priority. 

"Fuck, you're so tight, Nong." And Gulf felt him come inside of him. Well inside the condom. And Mew crashed on his back, engulfing him into a warm hug, panting on his neck. The hug was gross. Hell, both of them were covered in sweat and their skin was sticking to one another. It was the best hug ever. Gulf turned his head and caught Mew's attention with a low whine. He pursed his lips and Mew slowly kissed him. Gentle and soft.

They both took some time to calm their heart and breathing, resting in each other arms. Gulf was feeling himself drifting off to sleep. 

"So? How was it?" Really? Now? Gulf wanted to sleep and nothing else. 

"Why? Are you fishing for compliments?" 

"No. I just want to make sure that you appreciated your little experiment. That's what it is after all." Gulf wondered if he heard some bitterness under the exasperation in Mew's voice but no, it couldn't be. Not after their spectacular orgasm. No one could be bitter after that. 

"You want an honest answer?" Mew raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him. 

"Honestly... it was the best I ever had, P'Mew." Mew beamed at him so hard Gulf almost wanted to take back the praise. 

Mew squeezed him in his arms and tightly hold on to him.

"I'm glad you liked it, Nong." 
 
Gulf hummed at the man. He was so sleepy. He vaguely felt his Phi get off the bed and something wet touching his belly. He tried to ask what is Phi was doing but it got lost on his tongue as Gulf fell asleep, content and warm. 


24th May -10h14 - Workshop Studio, Bangkok 

Mew was once again laying on their makeshift bed on the floor of the workshop studio. He was pretending to sleep while Gulf was half lying on him, as per usual, and playing on his phone. The staff had left to go get food and they were left alone. Mew didn't want to be alone with Gulf. Especially not alone, on a blanket, with Gulf sprawled on him like he owned the place. The place being Mew. Like he owned Mew. But in a way, he did right? His heart had chosen for him already. What an unexpected turn of events. 

He risked a glance at Gulf and regretted it immediately as his Nong was starring right back at him, all doe eyes, fluffy hair, and shiny retainers. 

"Were you sleeping Phi?" No, but Gulf didn't need to know that. 

"Yes Nong, I didn't sleep too well last night, Chopper was sick and I was worried about him." A little white lie wouldn't hurt right?. Sure Chopper had been a little sick in his stomach but it wasn't the reason Mew couldn't sleep for the past week. Gulf was. But again, he didn't have to know it. 

"Is he alright now?" Mew felt his heart swell at the genuine concern in his Nong's voice. Gulf wasn't uncaring but he didn't know how to express his feelings, often leaving Mew with a bitter taste in his mouth. 

"Yes, it was probably just a bug. Everything was back to normal this morning." 

"It's good he is ok now. I couldn't sleep either last night." 

"Did something happen?" Mew's heart quickened and his bloodstream turned icy. He was always worried sick for his Nong. Like a mother hen. A mother hen and a lion. What a great combo. 

"Nothing Phi, I was just restless after playing games too much, but I jerked off and after that, I fell asleep like a baby." Nop. Not hearing a thing. Mew tried his best to ignore the comment involving a part of Gulf's anatomy he absolutely didn't want to think about. 

"You shouldn't play so much, it's not good for your eyes or your sleep." 

"I know, I don't need a second mom." Gulf rolled his eyes at him so hard Mew actually worried they'd stay stuck. If Mew was crude he'd say Gulf needed to get dicked down more often so he'd sleep less late but Mew wasn't crude and he was definitely not remembering how pliant Gulf had been after they had sex. 

"You clearly can't take care of yourself so maybe you need several mothers." 

"Hmm, whatever. I'm sad though." What now? He absolutely didn't look sad, disappointed at most, maybe a bit confused but not sad. So Mew raised an eyebrow at him to tell him to spill whatever he was sad about. 

"Phi doesn't blush anymore when I say something dirty. I just said I jerked off and you didn't even react. You just went on nagging about playing video games too much." If Mew didn't blush at Gulf's comment a minute ago, he was now feeling his cheeks heat up. 

"Maybe I should have told you what I thought about while doing it." 

"I absolutely don't want to know Gulf." Mew's sanity was at stake here for god's sake. 

"I thought ab-" Mew immediately wrestled Gulf to the floor, a hand firmly closing his mouth while the other was gathering his wrists to hold him down. Mew diligently pretended he didn't hear the muffled "you" at the end of the sentence, it was better for the both of them to forget what happened between them. 

"Don't be a brat Gulf, I told you I didn't want to know." Gulf kept on cutely squirming under him, trying to free his wrists but Mew's hold was stronger and Gulf didn't stand a chance. 

"Will you be good?" Gulf shook his head no and his eyes glared at him. 

"Then I guess you won't speak before everyone came back." Mew kept his hand on Gulf's mouth. And tightened a tiny bit his hold around the wrists. Not to hurt but to show Gulf that he could struggle as much as he wanted, Mew wasn't going to release him. Gulf finally stopped resisting and went limp under Mew. 

"Will you be good now?" Mew swore if Gulf didn't say yes, he'd spank him. Well... not really because it wasn't nice and because it would create thoughts he didn't want to have right now, or ever. And his sanity thanked Gulf when he nodded his head. 

"Promise?" Another nod. 

"Be careful, you know promises are important to Phi, if you promise, don't break it." A reluctant nod later Gulf was freed and sulking. 

"You're no fun."

"I know." 

"Phi?" Why was he being all sweet and soft now? He really was a menace for Mew's heart. 

"Hmm?" 

"You should play with me and my friends tonight." 

"Why? are you short on players?" Why was Mew being difficult? He would end up saying yes anyway. 

"No, I just want you to play with me and also you can get to know my friends better, they like you."

"Really?"

"Hmm, they often ask about you and why you play so little, I told them you were working on your thesis" Is that pride in Gulf's voice? "I don't know why they are asking about you like that, you're not that interesting." The little shit. "But you really need my help if you want to win those stars one day anyway." Mew wanted to kiss him. Err. No. He didn't. He just wanted to wipe that proud smirk off of his pretty Nong's face. 

"Alright then, we can play sure." 

"Yay!" So cute. Even his quirks were cute. Mew needed help. And he needed it yesterday when his heart wasn't already hostage of his little brat. 

"Let's nap some more while waiting for the others?"

Gulf nodded and extended his arms on his side looking at the wall behind Mew. He knew it was his cue to wrap the younger into a hug. Gulf would never ask for it, he never even told Mew he liked it but Mew was starting to learn to read him beyond his words. Gulf satisfied sigh proved him right. Mew snuggled closer and tried to breathe in the scent of his boy but his nose recognized his own perfume. Right. Gulf was wearing his shirt, Mew had almost forgotten about that. When Gulf texted him this morning asking Mew to bring him a green shirt as his own were dirty, Mew was already trying his different green shirts, looking for the one that would be the comfier to attend the workshop. He only wore it a few seconds but the shirt had already soaked in his perfume and now Gulf smelled like him. He shouldn't like it that much but damn it, did he love the idea. The sleeping lion inside was waking up at that thought and he willed it to go back to sleep. Too late. He was already remembering the last time Gulf wore his shirt and smelled like him. 

Flashback

Mew was hot. And he was sweating. He tried to remove his comforter but his shoulder was pinned to the bed. He tried kicking it and the comforter whined and groaned back at him. What? Mew opened his eyes and once they got used to the blinding light they met a messy mop of black hair. It took his foggy brain a few seconds to understand what was doing this bird's nest in his bed. He reached for his phone on his bedside table. Good, they had a few hours before being needed at the workshop studio. 

Mew felt Gulf moved and he considered feigning being still asleep for a moment. But no. He was the mature one here. He could act like a responsible adult. Adults didn't pretend to be asleep when their one-night-stand was waking up. Because that's what it was, right? A one-night-stand, an experiment. The gay awaking of a 21 years old, discovering pleasure and sex with his older and more experienced friend. The aftertaste of the previous night was pretty bittersweet. The sex had been great, more than great. Exceptional. Mew had expected it, considering their outstanding chemistry it was bound to be explosive between them. But the part when he laid awake on his bed for hours after Gulf fell asleep... well... it had been awful. He wasn't the kind of man who could simply jump from one bed to another, he hated it. 

"Morning, Phi." At least that's what Mew thought he heard because the letters didn't seem to have arrived in the correct order. 

"Morning, Nong." Mew knew he could get used to this. To waking up next to this little ball of warmth, to that hair tickling his neck, to those pretty fingers grabbing his side. He knew it wouldn't happen though. So he quickly dismissed that thought and chastised himself for it. 

"Sleep well?" Gulf came even closer, almost lying on top of him.

"Hmm." As expected the boy wasn't fully awake yet. 

"Are you hungry?" Mew felt something slippery on his chest. Did Gulf just lick him? 

"Hmm." Should he order something then? He didn't really want to eat pork so early in the morning but if that's what Nong wanted... 

"Do you want to take a shower?" The cute hand that was firmly holding his side, traveled south and rested over the waistband of his underwear. A shiver ran down Mew's back and he willed his cock to stay asleep.

"Hmm." And Mew finally snapped. 

"What does "hmm" mean? Hmm Yes, Hmm No, Hmm shut up Phi?" Maybe he was a bit quick to raise his voice but damn it Gulf was already getting on his nerves and he'd only been awake for ten minutes. Only Gulf could make him go from horny to annoyed in the span of a few seconds. 

"No." 

"No what?" He was exasperated. He should have pretended to be asleep after all. 

"No to everything." Great. Gulf wasn't a morning person and Mew knew it. It didn't prevent him from wanted to strangle the boy. But then, Gulf snuggled further into his neck, breathed him in before scooting closer until he was completely lying on top of Mew. And everything was forgotten. Mew tightened his arms around him, encouraging the boy to snuggle even closer. 

"What do you want then?" Mew already knew he was infatuated by the younger but damn the softness of his own voice was just another reminder of how painfully weak he was. He was eating in his palm and Gulf knew it. Brat. 

"Fuck me again." 

Silence.

"Absolutely not." He tried to pry Gulf arms off of him but the younger was grasping him like some kind of baby octopus. 

"Please?" Mew wouldn't fall for the soft plea and the puppy eyes. His heart was on the line, he didn't want to play this game. 

"We agreed it would happen only once remember?" 

"But our once isn't over yet." What? Did Mew forget to read the small lines at the end of their contract or something? 

"What do you mean?" Instead of answering Gulf raised himself in an upright position, smoothly straddling Mew, hands digging in Mew's stomach. That's when Mew noticed the younger was wearing a shirt he wasn't wearing when he fell asleep the night before. And that shirt was definitely Mew's. It was too big, the collar falling over his collarbone, and the hickeys Mew left on his neck were on full display. God, he really was an animal, he literally ate him alive. 

"You said it would only happen once but we are still in bed so I think it isn't over yet." Mew wanted nothing more than to wipe that confident smirk off. 

"I don't want to." Well... that was only half the truth. But he was going to stay firm. He could resist. Right? 

"Are you sure? Because I want you so bad Phi. I'm so hard, look." His hand suddenly found itself on his boy's crotch, firmly pressed against the hard member hidden under the underwear. Mew instinctively wrapped his finger around it and squeezed lightly. He stopped himself after a few strokes because damn he said no already, and he wouldn't take it back. 

"If I say yes today, you'll think I'll say yes every time you'll come ask for it." Mew wanted to laugh at himself, even to him it sounded weak. 

"I won't! I promise Phi!" 

No answer. Mew could be stubborn too. 

"Come on Phiii~ You can't leave me like that." Gulf thrust his length in Mew's hands and the older started to stroke him again. He was rewarded by soft moans, it made his cock twitched.

"Please?" Mew had to be strong. 

"Pretty please?" Really, really strong. But it would be more convincing if his hand wasn't on his Nong's dick already, jerking him off. 

"P'Mew, I said please. I know you like it when I'm a good boy right? I can be a good boy for you Phi." Ok, Mew wasn't THAT strong. Who could blame him? He was popular but it wasn't every day he had a hard and cute boy on top of him, pleading for his dick. A hard and cute boy that Mew actually liked. He could only groan. He didn't know yet if it was supposed to mean yes or no. 

"Yes?" He guessed Gulf had chosen for him. 

"You're going to have to work for it, Nong." It was a threat but it didn't seem very effective. He willed himself to hold back his temper and his need to make that brat submit.

"Ok Phi." And because Gulf was a little shit who wanted his death he added "Whatever Phi wants, I'll do it." The lion inside of him roared so loud the sound actually escaped his rib cage in a growl. Gulf satisfied smirk was the final blow for Mew and he grabbed his Nong's neck before kissing him hard. He couldn't believe he had agreed to this masquerade. But here he was, tongue deep in his boy's throat, one hand fumbling with the lube and the other already pinching at Gulf's nipples. He quickly made Gulf removed his underwear, and the clumsy moves Gulf made, full of excitation and impatience, shouldn't have been this endearing. 

"Sit back on Phi." The eagerness in Gulf's moves was driving him crazy. He was everything he loved in bed. How will he ever be able to get over Gulf after last night? 

Mew brought one hand between Gulf's thighs and quickly plunged a finger into his tiny opening, then a second one immediately after feeling how loose he still was from last night. Mew relished the loud and satisfied moan Gulf let out as he deeply thrust them in. Aiming straight for the spot that would make Gulf scream. He quickly added a third finger in, encouraged by all the cute noises Gulf was making. 

"So good. Fuck, I'm good Phi." He was so cute, with his whines and his swollen lips, Mew wanted to ruin him.

"Lift your ass for Phi." 

Mew aligned his cock to Gulf's slick hole and grabbed his hips tightly. He made the younger take him fully in a few seconds. Once he was buried inside the warmth of his boy, he let out a content sigh.

"Now, you can work for it, Baby." Gulf seemed to understand as he slowly, really slowly started moving on him. It was deliciously gentle and painfully teasing. Mew let him set the pace. Gulf needed to adjust to him first. 

Then a sly smile appeared on Gulfs lips and Mew knew he had been played again. Gulf was a brat, through and through. And Mew loved it. So much. Too much. A slap on a juicy thigh later and Gulf was riding him a tiny bit quicker. Panting heavily, his head lolling aimlessly. He was beautiful. Mew ran a hand on his chest, up to his neck, caressed the skin here, and travel up to his lips. He used his thumb to pry them open and slip the finger in. Gulf eagerly sucked on it, looking straight in Mew's eyes. The boy was going to be the death of him. Mew snapped his hips up and caught Gulf as he lost his precarious balance. 

"Tired, Phi." 

"Keep going." Mew was growling again, wasn't he? Gulf was really pushing all his buttons somehow. At least, the authoritative tone made Gulf start moving again. 

"Good boy." 

The string of "Phi" leaving Gulf's lips was making it hard for Mew. His dick seemed to like it but his heart was liking it even more. It was dangerous. So Mew grabbed the younger's hips and kept him still, fucking into him fast and hard. Guilt quickly crept up his heart as he realized he was punishing the younger for unknowingly shattering his heart. But Gulf didn't know how each thrust was piercing his heart a bit more. He wasn't responsible for Mew's pain. The older slowed down his pace but Gulf sent him a deadly glare. Damn. That's it. Mew fucked him even harder. 

Gulf's hands were sliding down Mew's pecs, he was losing his supports. Nails scraping the skin, leaving deep red marks behind them. 

"Oh my god. I can't anymore." Tears were forming inside his eyes. So pretty. So, so pretty. The lion roared, satisfied. 

"Let Phi take care of you, Nong." 

Mew wrapped his arms around Gulf and turned the both of them around. Gulf tightly circled his hips with his legs. Mew couldn't think anymore, he wrapped a hand around his thigh and grabbed his hair in the other. He was only seeing Gulf, hearing Gulf, feeling Gulf. He didn't even hear himself showering Gulf with praises. He was lost in his pleasure, lost in Gulf's skin, and in his warmth. He wrapped his hand around Gulf's member, stroke it firmly and the moans got louder and louder. Then a cry. And wetness on his fingers. He looked up at Gulf. Open mouth, eyes closed tight, flushed all over. A beautiful mess. Gulf breathed in a whine and breathed out his name. And Mew came. He felt his cum filling his boy. It was running down the smooth thighs as he was fucking him through his orgasm.

Then came the realization. Fucking hell. The condom. Mew cursed himself. How did this happen? He was supposed to be the responsible one. Did Gulf completely melt his brain? Mew dropped the problem for now as he dropped on Gulf.  

Both of them were panting heavily. Mew put his face in the younger's neck, trying to hide from the harsh reality. A reality where he and Gulf would never sleep together again. A reality where Mew had to be a brother, a friend, a mentor for a boy he liked so, so much. 

He felt a hand softly caress his head. Weird. Affection wasn't really Gulf's thing. 

"P'Mew?" Mew lifted his head to look at Gulf. 

"You forgot the condom."  Of course, Gulf would blame him. But he didn't look mad.

"I'm so sorry, Nong." 

"I don't mind Phi. I'm clean, you know I didn't have a lot of partners." The understatement of the year. And Mew liked that thought very much, the lion inside was purring. 

"Still, Phi's sorry. I should have remembered. I've got tested a few months ago, I'm good too." His heart fluttered at the shy smile Gulf gave him. Boy really was different after sex. Mew wanted to enjoy it while it lasted, the feisty kitten would be back sooner or later. He cuddled him tightly and when he felt Gulf starting to fall back asleep he remembered they had to get up and head to the workshop studio. 

"Nong?" An unidentified sound answered him. "You should head to the shower, I'll make you breakfast." Gulf sleepily nodded in his head. 

Mew sat on the bed, ready to go start the shower for Gulf when he was pulled back down. 

"You're sure you don't want to change your mind?" 

"About what?" Playing dumb again, wasn't he? 

"Can't we do it again Phi?" 

"Gulf, I already told you. I won't be your sex friend, I'm not Tharn." 

"It's not the same Phi, Tharn was in love with Type." Aow. That hurt a little. As if Mew wasn't as desperate as Tharn for someone to love unconditionally.  

"It doesn't change anything. I agreed because I wanted you to be able to experiment with someone safe, but I don't make a habit of sleeping with my friends, Nong."

"So... it's a no?" The massive pout on Gulf's face was tearing Mew's soul in two. That boy was a menace. 

"It's a no." But it was easier to keep his thoughts straight now that he didn't have a horny Gulf straddling him. 

"Shower. Go. Now." 

"Ok Phi. Can I have one last kiss?" Mew should have said no. 

He leaned down and kissed him softly anyway. 

He headed to the kitchen, heart heavy. The lion was whimpering in pain. He closed his eyes. Willed himself to regain his composure. When he opened his eyes again, he took his phone and ordered them breakfast. Everything was normal. It had to be. 

End of flashback

Mew shooked his head, dissipating the memory. Gulf was looking weirdly at him. He must have kept quiet for too long. He gave his Nong a smile, and Gulf's thoughtful face disappeared. Huh, Gulf's hair was all messy. A few strokes of his fingers later and the boy was sheepishly smiling at Mew, clearly satisfied. The younger handed him his script. 

"We should rehearse before they come back, I'm not sleepy anymore" Mew nodded and wordlessly open the script where they had left their last rehearsal. Really? Was the universe having fun torturing him? Episode 4. He must have been cursed somehow. The younger hadn't brought up the forbidden subject since that night. What were the probabilities that Gulf would behave and not use it to tease Mew, now? Close to zero. 

They lied down next to each other, scripts on the floor. Mew looked at Gulf and gave him a go-ahead signal. 

"Hey." Gulf dragged his foot on Mew's thighs and kicked him lightly. 

"Hey!" Second kick. Harder this time. Mew willed himself to stay calm. It was Type kicking Tharn, not Gulf kicking Mew. 

"Tharn, get up, and come to eat breakfast." Type's signature frown was resting cutely on Gulf's forehead. 

"What time is it?" Mew rolled on his back, feigning stretching his limbs. His shirt rid up a bit and his abs immediately caught Gulf's attention. Mew saw him wet his lips distractedly and his hand came to rest on the firm stomach. Weird but not unusual for them to touch random parts of each other's body. 

"Ten O'clock" A nail scratched the exposed skin. Mew's breath itched. He should just pull down his shirt but something was holding him back. Gulf's blatant attraction to him was pleasing, comforting. It was the only thing the younger had to give him. He knew he shouldn't play games. He knew it. Gulf wouldn't understand why he was letting him do that only to reject him later. But, it was innocent enough for now. So he indulged himself a bit longer. 

"This is the first time I see you drunk." 

"A senior invited me to watch him sing at a pub. And he bought me a drink." Mew tried to focus on the script, ignoring how his blood was turning into embers slowly catching fire. He grabbed his water bottle, wanting to cool down. 

"So? Why don't you want me to go home?" But the water didn't drown the fire. He felt his muscle tense as the hand on his abs was slowly descending south until -

"Have sex with me."  Gulf's hand had slipped under his pants' waistband. What the hell? Mew grabbed his wrist, squeezing a bit too much and Gulf winced in pain. 

"What are you doing?" Mew was fuming. His heart ringing in his ears, his blood boiling. What was going on in that brat's head? Deep breath. He didn't want to explode. 

"Sorry." Mew wasn't letting go. "ah, ah, ah, too tight Phi. Fuck." 

"What were you doing Gulf? Answer me." Mew softened his grip not wanted to hurt the boy, but he wouldn't let him go before he had an answer. 

"I..." Gulf glared at him. "I don't know, I'm sorry." Gulf wasn't looking very apologetic. What was wrong with that boy? 

"You're crossing the line, Nong." Voice harsh and cold, eyes glaring. Mew was hoping his infamous intimidating aura would work on Gulf. He never used it on him before but this mess needed to stop. It would be bearable for neither of them.

"I know, I'm really sorry." Now he looked a bit more sincere. His expression was still more annoyed than sorry. Huh, Mew really put himself in a mess again. 

"I'm serious Gulf. You can't pull that kind of shit like that. What is it? Feeling lonely? Horny? Want Phi to fuck you again?" Shit, he was just being mean now. But Gulf's reaction though. The brat just bit his lips and looked at him with hooded eyes. Could he not, please? Mew's self-control and patience were already close to inexistent. 

"Stop that." Gulf didn't even divert his eyes. "Gulf!" Finally, it seemed like he regained his sense and Gulf blinked rapidly at Mew. No. Just no. He couldn't be cute right now. Mew couldn't handle that, his head was already spinning. His lungs felt tight, his mind's foggy and erratic. He couldn't let his temper get the best of him. He had agreed. It was his own fault, his own mess. Gulf hadn't forced him. He had to own up to his own choices and couldn't blame it all on the younger. He knew the risks and the consequences. 

"I-" 

"No. Don't say anything. Phi is sorry for speaking to you like that. It was uncalled for and unnecessary." Mew released the younger's wrists. No red marks. Good. The fog was dissipating. He could breathe again. 

"But Phi... you're right though." Mew felt his eyes widened and he couldn't look away from Gulf. This mix of sly cuteness and bratty bluntness was doing it for him. He loved it. And staying away from it was freaking hard. The hardest thing he ever had to do. 

"Right about what?" Mew didn't really want to know but they couldn't let the situation fester. 

"I do want you to fuck me again." A deep sigh left Mew's lungs and he closed his eyes slowly, letting himself flop down on his back again. He didn't know what to do anymore. Gulf didn't want to understand. He wasn't even mad anymore, just disheartened. 

"But I don't want to." Not like that at least. Because God, did he want to. He wanted nothing more.

"You don't want me?"  Of course, he wanted him.

"No." A big fat lie. And the hurt in Gulf's eyes, as much as it was slicing his heart, wouldn't make him waver. 

"Really? 

"Really." And if his voice was laced with uncertainty, Mew couldn't care less. 

"Oh... Then... I'm really sorry. I thought... never mind, let's go back to the script. I promise I'll behave." Gulf gave him a forced smile and Mew did the only thing he knew would make Gulf feel better. He pulled him in his arms and held the script in front of them. His other hand naturally finding Gulf's tummy. It was warm. Soft. Calm. The opposite of his inner struggle. 

"Remember that you promised, Nong." Promises were important. "I didn't want to be mean, I'm sorry about that. But you need to respect my boundaries, ok?" 

"I know but I can't forget it phi." Here they were again. They were just going in circles. It was exhausting. 

"You don't have to, but it can't happen again." 

"I know but- "

"No but. Think about your career." Career, family, Mew's heart? So many reasons to nip this nonsense in the bud. 

 "No one has to know." The light desperation in Gulf's voice was almost painful. If he could, Mew would give him everything he ever wanted. Of course, he would. But he couldn't crucify his heart just to ease Gulf's sexual frustration. That wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. 

"Gulf, you are not listening. I told you I didn't want this kind of relationship." 

"I know." So much frustration and incomprehension poured out of the younger's voice. "I don't know what's my problem." 

"You don't have a problem. You're lonely, I get it. I take care of you a lot so it must make you confused. Give it some time and it will go away." The lion whimpered, beaten to the ground, by his own hand. His heart was in pieces again, and it was his own doing. 

"Give it sometimes and it will go away." Who was he trying to convince?