It's a Friday night, and Levi has a plan.
"Hello, Erwin Smith speaking."
"Hey, Blondie." Levi says. The sound of Erwin's voice makes him bite his lip, and he ducks into a phone booth so no one on the street witnesses his reaction. "You feel like getting me drunk tonight?"
There's a bit of shuffling on the other end, and something that sounds like a sigh. If the situation were different, Levi would have called Erwin out on it.
"I wish you would call me in advance. I've got a ton of work this weekend, and--"
"So do it tomorrow." Levi responds, rolling his eyes.
Erwin huffs, and Levi can imagine his expression. "Being responsible means not putting work off, so one can enjoy the time they have left once everything is finished."
"Sure it does. But you can't get hammered on a Sunday afternoon, so why not do it tonight?" Levi wonders if Erwin's taking shots at him with his 'responsibility' comment. For the sake of his plan, he doesn’t ask.
"Levi..." Erwin trails off with another heavy sigh, and nothing else.
"Come on. I've been stuck at the fucking DMV all goddamn day, and now all I wanna do is get wasted and everyone else is busy.” Levi hadn't called anyone before calling Erwin. Hanji would drop everything and come drink with him if he asked-- but Hanji isn’t the person he wants to see tonight.
"Why were you at the DMV?"
"I'll tell you if you come out drinking with me."
Erwin emits an annoyed sound. Levi smirks at the grimy interior of the phone booth. He knows Erwin hates it when his questions go unanswered.
"Look, I'll even pay for the first round." An empty promise. Erwin never let him pay for anything.
Erwin stays quiet for a long time, and Levi chews his lip as he waits out the silence. Erwin is still so reluctant to have some fun every once in awhile. Levi finds it pitiful, so he is equally surprised and gratified when he hears the blond’s next words.
"Alright. Where do you want to meet?"
Victory. "I'll pick you up at your office. We can go to one of those snobby hipster bars you like so much. I'm sure you've been dying to sample their seasonal craft beers, or whatever.”
There's a chuckle on the other end of the line, and it makes Levi's chest twist up. "You know me too well. I'll see you later, Levi."
Levi downs the remainder of his first beer, wipes foam from his lip, and directs a glare across the rustic wooden table. “Would you relax?”
“Hmm?” Erwin asks. Even after a beer and a half, his back is still ramrod straight in the cramped booth Levi had selected near the end of the bar. Although he had removed his suit jacket, his tie is still in place and his sleeves are still secured at his wrists. By this point, Levi has tried everything he could think of to get him to loosen up, which included bringing up all of Erwin’s favorite subjects, inquiring about his least favorite co-workers, and even asking about the health of his house plants, for goodness’ sake. Erwin responded politely to each inquiry, and his answers were by no means closed off, but his body is still stiff in a way that is almost comical.
Levi stares as if he’s watching the dullest man in the world. “You look like you’re afraid to move.” He observes finally. "I think that means we should start taking shots."
Erwin laughs, but Levi isn’t joking. At any rate, he likes the way it makes Erwin’s shoulders move.
“So. Tell me why you were at the DMV."
Levi picks at his teeth. "I got mugged a few weeks ago. Had to get my ID replaced."
“Oh, Levi.” Erwin frowns deeply, blue eyes narrowed in concern. Even now, his tone is minimally condescending in a way that Levi has always hated. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I tried. You didn't pick up." Levi is allowed to be accusatory.
"You should have texted me. You know how busy I am."
"I'm not gonna tell you I got mugged by text, Erwin. I called a few times and you didn't pick up. So I decided you didn't want to know and moved on."
"Were you hurt?" Erwin at least has the good grace to look guilty.
"Not really. They came up behind me and held a blade to my neck, took my wallet, pushed me to the ground and ran off. Simple shit." Levi shrugs, picking at the label of his empty beer bottle.
Erwin sighs heavily, leaning back in his seat as he folds his arms across his broad chest. "I worry about your safety, Levi."
"What do you want me to do, Erwin? It's hard moving out of a shitty neighborhood when you barely make minimum wage." Levi signals one of the bargirls. "And I got kicked out of my last place, remember?"
"Two shots of Jack Daniels. Please." Levi tells the girl, minding his manners since he’s in Erwin's presence. "Actually, make that four."
Erwin leans forward as soon as the girl disappears.
"Levi, I really can't stay all that long."
"So get going." Levi waves him off. "I'm not forcing you to drink with me, Erwin."
"No, but you're forcing me to be responsible for you."
The condescension again. At this point, it bores Levi more than it angers him. "That's your annoying ass hero complex, not me. Leave if you don't wanna be around me so bad."
"It's not that I don't want to be around you. I told you, I've got a large project that needs to be completed, and--"
“Spare me, Erwin. You’re always doing this shit. Just go.” Levi's fixed him with a look that suggests he can see right through Erwin.
The bar girl returns and sets a tray of shots onto the table. Levi reaches for one of the small amber-filled glasses, flicking his gaze towards the blond’s face. “But if I get mugged again tonight, I’m gonna make sure you don’t find out at all.”
Erwin takes Levi’s wrist before he can pick up a shot. “Why do you have to be like that?”
“Why can’t you just chill out every once in a while? Like I said, I don’t care if you go or not. That’s your choice. ” Levi pulls his wrist out of Erwin’s grip, though the blond’s warm hand had felt good on his skin. “If you would rather spend the rest of the night alone in your office than hang out with me, I’m not gonna fight you on it.”
Erwin looks at the tray full of shots, then over at Levi’s unmoving expression. He checks his watch and rubs at the back of his neck. “Fine. I’ll stay.”
“Good.” Without waiting, Levi divvies up the shots on the tray between them, then leans back in his seat, raising his eyebrow in a challenge. "Anyway, two shots is nothing to you. I used to watch you take three or four for breakfast when you were in college."
Erwin can't help but chuckle, and Levi lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The hardest part is over. When he picks up a shot, Erwin does too. "We used to drink a lot back then, didn't we?" The blond says.
"What do you mean, 'we'? It was usually me just following your orders."
Erwin scoffs. "When did I ever give you orders?"
Levi can list hundreds of times, but none of them are appropriate to bring up now. "Is screaming, "chug! chug! chug!" in my ear not an order?"
Erwin mulls it over. "Alright," He concedes. "I guess I owe you a couple of shots in exchange for dragging you out to all of those frat parties."
"You owe me more than a couple, but we've got the time."
They raise their shots, make eye contact, and knock them back. Levi grimaces at the burn before reaching for his second one. "Ugh. Horrible."
"Just like old times." Erwin says, and they finish off the tray.
"It really is just like old times." Levi mutters under his breath.
Erwin's tie is now undone, his shirtsleeves rolled up, and less than five minutes ago Levi had to jump on him to stop him from popping his collar. In his efforts to get Erwin to stay out longer, Levi had suggested they challenge a pair of suited former frat boys with a winning streak at beer pong. This plan backfired on him spectacularly. Erwin could never turn down a challenge, and it seemed as if he also couldn't turn down a rematch, two more frat boys fresh from their internship, and an older bald man with a booming voice who apparently hadn't seen Erwin in "fucking years, man!"
Of course, Levi was enlisted as Erwin's partner. And despite his best (worst) efforts, they have now won four games in a row. He decides to make an executive decision; in a matter of seconds, he disappears from Erwin's side, grabs the blond's suit jacket and tie from their table, and returns just in time to prevent Erwin from setting up another stack of cups.
"I need some air." He tells Erwin, and there's really no way Erwin can disagree. The bar is now filled to capacity with people and the space is tightly packed and humid.
Erwin nods. There's sweat on his upper lip and Levi wants to lick it off. "I'll go with you."
Once outside, Levi shoves Erwin's belongings at him before leaning against a graffitied brick wall and lighting up a cigarette.
Erwin looks down at his things and then over at Levi. "Oh. I thought we were staying."
"It got too crowded in there. It was giving me a headache."
"I'm sorry. You should have told me." Erwin folds up his tie and places it in his pocket. His eyes are electric blue in the night, a wide grin reawakening his handsome features. His hair is out of place, falling casually into his eyes. He looks more alive than Levi has seen him in ages. "That was really fun, Levi. Thanks for suggesting it. I haven't played beer pong in years."
"I thought it was appropriate, since we were reminiscing earlier."
The city is loud, traffic bright and belligerent behind them, but Levi can’t look away from Erwin. He hadn’t accounted for the way he would be affected if his plan succeeded, and now Erwin’s rare expression of enjoyment threatens Levi’s façade. His hands are shaking. He sucks on his cigarette but it only makes things worse. It’s hard to keep his face impassive as memories fissure through him.
"Are you cold?"
Levi shrugs, turning away. It’s about more than being cold. It’s about being cold and half drunk and nostalgic, and it’s about how Erwin steps behind him and drapes his suit jacket over Levi's shoulders. His scent envelops Levi immediately. Levi wants to turn and tell him how much he misses him. How often he thinks about him.
Instead he lets the jacket settle on him, adjusts it so he can wear it better, and shoots Erwin an accusing look. "See? Hero complex."
Erwin laughs. "Maybe it's only around you."
It’s a comment that falls outside what is appropriate between ‘just friends’. Warmth spreads from Levi's core. Everything is going perfectly. "Are you trying to say that I need saving?"
"I didn't say that." Erwin's eyes twinkle. "You did." He plucks the cigarette from Levi's fingers and takes a drag. Levi scowls and attempts to recover it, but Erwin holds him off easily with just one hand.
"So fucking annoying." Levi tells him when Erwin passes the cigarette back.
"Yeah, well." Erwin looks down at him smugly. "You knew how annoying I was before you invited me out tonight."
Levi crosses his arms. "I'm starting to regret it."
Erwin reaches forward, adjusting the lapel of his jacket near Levi's neck. Levi stares up at him, feeling the back of Erwin's knuckles touch his jaw, then the pads of his fingers graze his neck. Levi's breath catches. Things are going well for him, for once.
"No, you're not." Erwin pulls his hand back, but before he exits Levi's space he taps the bottom of Levi's chin with a crooked finger. The gesture is painfully familiar, and Levi says a quick prayer of thanks for the alcohol that has finally loosened Erwin up. Erwin's grin is still present, his eyes soft, and Levi wants to--
"What do you want to do now?"
Levi takes a deep breath, and very nearly tells him. But--
It's too soon. He's not at that point yet.
"I thought you had all this work to do?"
"I don’t think I’ll be getting anything productive done for the rest of the night.”
Levi drops his cigarette, scrapes it out with his foot. "I could use another drink. That piss water you ordered for beer pong completely sobered me up."
Erwin’s grin is brilliant. "So, let's find another bar."
"Look at you. Feeling reckless tonight, huh?"
"I said a bar, not a rave."
"You wouldn't even know where to start looking for a rave."
"I know. That's what I have you for."
They end up at a sports bar four blocks away from their previous location. Erwin drags him inside because there’s a college basketball game airing on all of the plasma TVs. Levi isn't too interested, but he pretends to be for Erwin's sake, who decides to join in on a betting pool the second they reach the bar. Levi doesn’t mind; the drinks are cheap and he is quite content to sit next to Erwin on a stool, still draped in his expensive jacket, as he watches the blond yell and cheer whenever his team makes a basket.
This man is vastly different from the person Levi had met outside his office that afternoon. Gone is the fatigue from his voice, the solemn expression on his face. Levi wonders when the last time Erwin had really enjoyed himself was. Guilting him into drinking seems to have been the best thing anyone could have done for Erwin this evening. Was there anyone else in the blond’s life that could get him to relax like this?
Having never gone to college, Levi doesn't care much for college basketball; but he revels in sipping his drink and listening as Erwin explained league stats to him. He’s had three bourbon sours and is way drunker than he had been when they were outside, so he can't tell if he is staring at Erwin or not. He tries his best to maintain a casually interested expression.
"See, the MPs are currently the best team in the league right now, and coincidentally my friend Nile used to go there, before he dropped out, but anyway, their defense is really solid. What might hurt their chances of going to the finals is the fact that their point guard sprained his ankle last Thursday and has to sit out for at least another six weeks. Did you get all that?"
Levi nods, his hand resting carefully on the bar just in case gravity decided to pull him from his stool. His phone is face up next to his drink; sometime during the course of the night he had texted Hanji some gibberish, and now she was demanding to know where he was and what he was doing there without her.
"Good. So they're playing against St. Maria, who held the title for six consecutive years before the Titans stole it from them last year, and--"
"I love seeing you like this." Levi blurts out finally, unable to help being talkative under the influence. Weighing the pros and cons of his decisions now seems like a waste of time. He’s here, he’s got Erwin next to him for the first time in weeks, and they’ve both let go of the illusion of control they presented to others on a daily basis. It seems like the best time to tell him.
Erwin stops, and his voice lilts with curiosity. “Like what?”
“Excited. About things. And talking to me about them."
Erwin chuckles. He has to yell to be heard over the noise in the bar. "So I'm not boring you, then? You keep looking at me as if you can't wait for me to shut up."
"I don't want you to shut up. I wish...." Levi swallows as Erwin moves closer. "...I wish you would talk to me more."
Erwin opens his mouth, but Levi (stupidly, he thinks later) cuts him off. "You're busy, I know."
Erwin looks hurt. "I wasn't going to say that."
"Levi," Erwin is closer now, and his warm hand is on top of Levi's and Levi wants to, right now. He'll get on top of the bar, if he has to. And the way Erwin's looking at him, eyes low and bright and focused only on him... it’s a possibility. "I was going to tell you--"
Two things happen at once. Levi's phone buzzes on the bar next to their hands; and a roar of approval goes up all around them. Levi glances down, then grimaces.
Eren: I wanna see you tonight…
Silently cursing, Levi looks to Erwin to find out if he had seen the message—but his companion’s attention has been stolen by the plasma screens. Levi texts out a hasty response before stashing his phone in his pocket.
“What happened?” Levi asks, tugging at Erwin’s sleeve.
"St. Maria's best shooter just fouled out." Erwin tells him. His tone is light but he's created some distance between the two of them, the majority of his back presented to Levi.
"Congratulations. What were you saying before? ...Erwin!"
Erwin looks at him, and then to the bar where Levi's phone had been. "I don't remember."
Bitter anger bubbles up within Levi; he has enough presence of mind to not completely lose it, but his fists clench tightly all the same. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. He can't let some stupid text from Eren fuck up his whole night. "That's not fucking fair, Erwin."
"Tell me how unfair it is after the game." Erwin says. He sips from his glass and adds, "I'm busy now."
Another time, Levi would have made a scene. His body is warm with frustration, and he itches to do something, anything, to get Erwin’s attention refocused onto him. But, no-- It wouldn't serve his purpose now, no matter how much Levi wants to raise his voice or throw his drink. So he tosses it back instead, and orders another one. He wants to text Hanji but doesn’t dare take his phone out now.
Erwin is completely engrossed in the game, having immersed himself in a group of like-minded businessmen and college sports enthusiasts. Levi might as well be alone at the bar. He stews with drunken turmoil.
After ten agonizing minutes, Levi can’t stand it anymore. He downs his nearly full drink, then heads to the bathroom. Once inside, Levi scrubs his face with cold tap water. His phone buzzes in his pocket but he ignores it. He grips the edges of the sink to center himself.
"Fuck." He whispers to himself. It had been going so well, and then.... he screwed everything up. Like always. He should have told the brat to stop texting him, he shouldn't have had his phone on the bar, he should've...
What if Erwin hated him even more now? He had planned on fixing things, not making them worse. He should have known better than to think his plan would work. There’s always something that goes wrong.
The noise of the bar is muted within the dimly lit bathroom, but the silence only allows his failure to echo loudly inside of his mind. He knows he’s only working himself up further, and if he were sober he wouldn’t waste his time on something as meaningless as self-pity. But Erwin had been so, so close to revealing something to him… to telling Levi something that he hadn’t been able to at the beginning of the night. Now Levi would never know. He feels lost, unsure of what to do next. Hiding in the bathroom makes him feel pathetic, but the thought of returning to Erwin’s coldness upsets him even more.
The possibility of Erwin leaving without him helps make up his mind. Levi returns to the bar, finding everyone in high spirits. When he fights his way back to Erwin's side, Erwin turns and hands him a shot.
"The MPs won." He explains amicably, either unnoticing or uncaring of Levi’s distressed expression. "I bought shots for everyone and I paid off your tab."
Levi accepts the liquor, knocks it back without tasting it, and says, "Let's fucking leave."
"Whatever you want, Levi."
"Tell me what you were gonna say to me earlier."
They're walking in the direction of the bus that will take Levi home, all the way across town. But Levi isn't ready to go home, just yet.
"Why should I?" Erwin asks.
"Because I need to fucking know, that's why." Levi has been polite all night, and now he’s sick of it. His senses are inhibited by liquor and desperation.
"That doesn't mean I have to tell you.” Erwin responds, seemingly unbothered. “I don't have to do anything for you, Levi."
"Yes, you do." Levi argues, after having to briefly steady himself against a mailbox.
"And why is that?"
Fuck Erwin and his shitty questions. Levi can’t stand them. "Because I'm fucking in love with you, you fucking--"
Erwin’s look of detached judgment shuts Levi up. "Did you text Eren back?"
Levi feels as if he's been hit in the gut. In his drunkenness, he had convinced himself that Erwin was just being moody and hadn’t seen the text at all.
"Yes," he exhales, and attempts to push forward with an explanation-- but Erwin is already in front of him, hands in his pockets, dodging pedestrians on the street in an effort to get away from him. Levi has to hustle in order to catch up with the long-legged blonde.
"--fuck. Erwin, shit. I'm sorry. Just fucking tell me. Please."
Erwin is still walking briskly through the city streets. It doesn't even seem to register that Levi is panting to catch up with him. "I said, I don't remember. You were the one who had me drinking all night. Do you remember anything else we talked about at the bar?"
"That's-- stop it!"
Erwin actually does, turning to face Levi. It takes Levi a second to realize that they've reached the bus shelter. "Stop what?"
Levi himself doesn't stop, moving forward until he's in Erwin's space. It’s imperative that he speaks his mind to Erwin. It may be the only chance he gets. "Stop... making it seem like it’s my fault.”
“What’s your fault?”
“Everything. Tonight. We were having a good time, but then I-- I ruined everything.”
Erwin laughs bitterly. “How familiar.”
Levi wants to tear out his hair out in frustration. “I just want you to talk to me!”
“I am talking to you.”
“I just want—“
Erwin cuts him off, eyes narrowed. “--Seems to me that you got everything you wanted tonight. You at least remember what you said on the phone, right? ‘All I want to do is get wasted’. Well here you are. So what else do you want, Levi? What else could I possibly give you that I haven't already?"
If Erwin asked him any more questions, Levi would have throttled him. He has no choice but to kiss him. So he grabs Erwin by his collar and yanks him down, rising up to meet the blonde's mouth with his own parted lips.
Kissing Erwin feels like falling in love with him all over again. Levi can’t bring himself to stop. He wastes only a few moments on short, close-mouthed kisses before involving his teeth in order to rile Erwin up. It works perfectly; another victory. Erwin has him up against the glass in seconds.
“Levi…” Erwin growls against his mouth; and it’s unlike the blond to be so forward, so enthusiastic, in public. He must be angrier or drunker than Levi thought. Probably both, and Levi can’t blame him. But his guard is down, and that’s all that matters. "You could have said so from the beginning."
Levi knows he couldn’t. "Shut up, Erwin." He says, and drags him down again. He has one hand on Erwin's chest and one on the back of his neck, holding him as if the blond might bolt at any minute. He loves the pressure of Erwin's lips against his, the security of Erwin’s arms on either side of him, the slow roll of Erwin's tongue against his own, making his lower body pulse in a way that’s entirely too perfect.
Erwin pulls back. Levi has spent all night preparing for the look Erwin’s giving him now. "What do you want, Levi?"
"Take me home. Please." Levi pants, before seeking out Erwin's lips once more. He has him, finally, and it's too addicting. Levi needs to kiss him again and again just to have enough to store in his memories. Their next kiss is just as slow as the last one, but there's an intensity rising up beneath it and it's making Levi half crazy. Especially with the way Erwin is biting at his bottom lip, or the way he's grabbing for Levi's body, squeezing his ass and gripping his thigh, on the verge of hoisting him up against the glass. It seems as if Erwin wants it as much as he does. Maybe he had all night. “--fuck, Erwin, take me home.”
Erwin is crowding him against the wall, growling into his neck and tugging at his clothes, and Levi really needs to keep it together. Erwin's apartment smells like potpourri and coffee grounds, and if Levi were any drunker he would have started crying. It's hard to keep focused with his head swimming and nostalgia determined to affect his mood… but Erwin seems determined to affect him, as well.
Levi takes initiative and pushes the blond off of him. “What is it?” Erwin pants, looking at him questionably.
Levi can't help his honesty. "I don't know how much longer I can stay standing."
Erwin laughs, and all Levi can remember is being kissed again, then falling back against Erwin's dark bed sheets, cradled by the blond’s musky scent. This is much better. He feels at his most comfortable in Erwin’s bed.
Erwin's on his knees over Levi's form, unbuttoning his shirt as he traps Levi with an intense stare. Levi reaches up and helps him, the mere brush of their fingers together making his blood thrum. When Erwin’s shirt is tossed aside, Levi climbs up onto his own knees to meet the blond's mouth hungrily once more. His hoodie and t-shirt are tossed onto the floor, and Erwin backs him down into the blankets again as Levi gets to work on the zipper of Erwin's jeans. It's a failed attempt, however; Levi's fingers can't quite get Erwin's buckle undone. Erwin takes notice, chuckling as Levi makes a noise of frustration.
"Do you want something?" Erwin's voice is a dark tease. He pulls back and undoes his buckle slowly, draws the zipper down, and stops. Levi very nearly hisses at him. He grabs for the blond but Erwin holds him down.
"Your cock." It's almost a whine. Levi fights his way out of Erwin's grip to grab him by the belt loops and drag him closer. Erwin leans in for a kiss, but Levi drops down and settles onto his stomach, pulling out Erwin's erection and guiding it into his mouth.
Erwin chokes out a curse as his head falls back. Levi keeps his eyes open, enjoying the view of Erwin's cut stomach and broad chest. Eren can't compare. He thinks dazedly as he bobs his head back and forth, taking Erwin deeper each time. He uses his tongue as much as he can, pressing it against the underside as he goes down and chasing his own saliva up the stiff column. God, I missed this--
"Get up here." Levi seeks out Erwin's eyes and is met with a look of smoldering desire. Levi shakes his head, tightening his grip on Erwin’s base and taking his tip fully inside of his throat. Erwin curses, and Levi finds himself being pulled off Erwin's cock by his hair, then shoved none-to-kindly towards the soft pillows at the head of Erwin's bed.
"Get the rest of your clothes off." Erwin moves off of the bed, panting hard as he sheds his slacks and boxers. His tone promises a punishment if Levi doesn't obey. "When you're naked, I want you to hold yourself open for me." He leans over the head of the bed, grips Levi's chin as Levi kicks off his jeans, and kisses him hard before heading off into the side bathroom. When he returns with a small bottle of sliquid, Levi has done exactly as he was told, assuming Erwin’s favorite position and gazing at him darkly with his lip caught in his teeth.
Erwin climbs over him, settling his weight between Levi's spread thighs. When they kiss again it's slower, more passionate; Levi runs his hands up Erwin's arms and back before Erwin hits him lightly on his cheek. "Legs up," He reminds impatiently, shifting his weight down, rolling his hips against Levi's erection. Levi moans, his mouth falling open at the slow grind. "Fuck. Mmm… damn, Erwin. You're gonna give that to me?"
"If you tell me how bad you want it." Erwin's dulcet tone and the rhythmic movement of his hips make Levi shudder. But he’s nothing if not argumentative, as well as somewhat of a tease, so Levi refuses to submit.
"Why should I?" He threads his fingers into Erwin's hair as the blond applies lube to his fingers. "You probably already forgot how to fuck me."
"You think I forgot?" Erwin mutters. Levi nods, panting as Erwin rearranges himself. This sort of thing is infinitely easier than talking about his feelings. "Probably already forgot how to give it to me... how to make me scream your n--AHH--"
Erwin is too much of a gentleman to be smug about Levi's reaction. And with two of his slick fingers fully inside of Levi, there isn't much else Levi can say to Erwin that isn't a word of gratitude. It’s been so, so long. Levi draws Erwin into a long, frantic series of kisses as the blonde lubes and stretches out his insides. When he can't stand the repetitiveness of it any longer, Levi releases Erwin in order to give him his most desperate stare of the night. "Fuck me." He says, as if it's the thing he wants most in the world.
Erwin groans and removes his fingers, then grabs a square packet from within the drawer of his side table. Levi watches him tear open the foil and roll the condom onto his dick. He wonders about the implications of this, but then Erwin is pushing inside of him with a thick groan, and Levi swears he's never felt so good in his life. Tears bead at his eyes. They threaten to spill when he looks up at Erwin's face, and finds his expression a mirror, one of heartache and ecstasy. Their pain is in sync, in this moment.
When Erwin starts fucking Levi, it's with deep, slow movements of his hips. Levi is held by his expression, his own sunken eyes half lidded, mouth slack and wet at the corner. It's a pace that's a favorite to both of them, and Levi's heart is swelling.
"That's right, baby. Exactly like that.... God, Erwin--" He moans, fingers digging into the meat of Erwin's forearms. It was tangible, how much he missed this. How much he missed Erwin looming over him, covering him completely as he moved inside of him. How much he missed Erwin's taste, the way he exhaled when he pushed all the way in. Even the way his sweat splashed onto Levi's skin as he fucked him, though he used to find it disgusting.
"Er-win," Levi's voice is pushed to breathiness from the sheer pleasure. "Erwin, did you miss me?"
Erwin's jaw tightens, and his hips snap forward in an increase of tempo. "Don't, Levi."
"N-no. I want you to tell me if you—nnh! If you missed me." Complete sentences are becoming increasingly difficult, but once Levi starts talking, he can't stop himself. His body is alive with pleasure and passion, and who knows when he'd get the chance again? "I missed you. E-every day. I love you. I need you so mu--"
Erwin pulls out, gripping his cock, and Levi sees that he's determinedly avoiding his gaze. "Turn over." Erwin says roughly, and it's a change as evident as it was in the bar. Levi's heart aches but he scrambles to obey, knowing that if he fucked things up again it would all be worthless.
He parts his thighs and lowers his chest onto the bed, and only a moment later Erwin is filling him up once more. The blond's hand presses down on the back of his neck. "God, Erwin--" Levi can't help but moan into the pillow, hands clutching the fabric on either side of him as Erwin slams into him at a mercilessly hard pace. It's mind-numbingly good and Levi can't get half a word out without it being bisected by a gasp or a scream. It's Erwin's intention, he knows, and the blond always did know how to shut him up. He hits Levi's spot with an accuracy that came from years of experience, and Levi can't do anything but hold on and take it. "Fuh--uck... it's so good--"
"Levi." Erwin moans raggedly above him, and Levi loves the way he sounds like this. Open, raw, and honest—the opposite of the man the rest of the world knew him as. Levi misses this the most. He shifts around enough so he can get his hand on his cock; and after six or so more thrusts, he’s shuddering and arching, grasping uselessly onto the sheets. “Fuck..! …Fuck, fuck, fuck…” He’s reduced to a single swear as Erwin continues to drive into him brutally. Though it makes him nearly white out, Levi clenches around Erwin’s cock and savors the dark growl he predicted.
Levi wishes he could see Erwin’s face when he comes. As it is, he has to settle for the blond’s long, guttural moans as he erupts into the condom. Levi closes his eyes and drinks in the sounds. His knees give out, and he collapses onto the sheets. “…fuck…” His whole body thrums with contentment.
It’s less than two minutes later when Erwin pulls out of him, and there’s a distinct lack of contact between them when Erwin removes the condom, knots it up, and leans over Levi’s sweaty back to drop it into the waste bin.
At another time, Erwin would clean Levi off, kiss and touch him until he was too sensitive, then wrap him up in his arms and nuzzle the back of his neck until they both drifted off to sleep. Now, he rolls over onto his side without so much as a post-coital grope. It irritates him, but at the moment Levi finds he really doesn’t care. His energy is drained and he is careening towards sleep.
"Levi." Erwin says in the stillness of the afterglow.
"You were right earlier."
Levi is lulled by Erwin’s heavy breathing. "About what?"
"You really do ruin everything."
The cruel comment barely even registers. "You're a bastard, Erwin."
They can fight about it in the morning. Levi draws up the sheets and succumbs to exhaustion.
Levi wakes up with a splitting headache, a churning stomach, and a sore backside. Sunlight from an open window nearly blinds him, and he rolls over in order to tell Erwin exactly how he feels this morning.
The left side of the bed is empty. Levi blinks a few times, attempting to process how he has just woken up in Erwin's bed without Erwin.
He sits up and looks around. On the bedside table to his right, there is a glass of water and a note written on Erwin's monogrammed stationary. Levi picks it up.
I left for the office in order to complete my work. Please see yourself out. If you are hungry you may take whatever you like from the fridge.
“That fucking—“ Levi closes his eyes and counts to ten. When he feels as if he’s calmed himself sufficiently, Levi reopens his eyes—then impulsively tears up the note, tossing the scraps over to Erwin's side of the bed.
His eyes fall on the glass of water. Levi supposes Erwin wasn’t being as much of a dick he could be. It’s some sort of progress, at least. He rises from the bed and grabs it on his way to Erwin's bathroom, downing it by the time his bare feet reach the cool tiles. Inside, he scrubs at his face, opens the mirror and extracts a bottle of aspirin. He muses on the previous night. They'd both had a good enough time, he supposes groggily, filling the cup with tap water. He’d gotten laid, at least.
Levi swallows two of the tiny blue pills and replaces the aspirin. When he closes the mirror, he sees something that he hadn't noticed before. There's a second toothbrush at the corner of the top of the sink, casually leaning against Erwin's blue one as if it belonged there. Levi stops where he is. The glass falls from his hand, landing against the soft blue rug in front of Erwin's sink.
"Hello, Erwin Smith speaking."
"Whose fucking toothbrush is this?!" Levi seethes, gripping his phone hard enough to break its plastic case.
"Good morning, Levi. How are you feeling?"
"Don't fucking play games with me, Erwin! Whose toothbrush is this? Who's sleeping over at your house?"
"That's none of your business, Levi--"
"It is my business!"
"No. It's not. You have nothing to do with my romantic life anymore, and you have no one to blame but yourself."
Levi scrubs miserably at his face. "Tell me. If you're my friend, you have to tell me."
"I am your friend, and that's precisely why I won't tell you."
"I can't believe how fucking heartless you are, Erwin. You're a goddamn scumbag. Why the fuck would you--" Levi's whole body is shaking on the edge of Erwin's bed. He’s never felt so betrayed. "—you should have just fucking left if you were just gonna—if you were just gonna fucking lead me on--”
"I wasn't leading you on. Last night was… I had a nice time with you." Levi can recognize when Erwin’s being honest better than anyone. However, Erwin's voice then hardens with finality. "But we're not together."
There's a click on the other end of the line. Levi stares numbly at his phone. Erwin had hung up on him.
He looks around Erwin's bedroom, still so familiar with the space. He can remember clearly the areas that used to be occupied with his belongings. He also remembers the look on Erwin's face the day he had kicked Levi out. As much as Levi wants to scream, as much as he wants to curl up under Erwin's covers and cry, as hurt as he is-- nothing compares to how Erwin had felt that day. His pain was written all over his face. Levi had never seen him so devastated.
He gathers up his clothing and redresses slowly. He wants to explore Erwin’s room, see if any modicum of his existence remained—but the cold fear of discovering an item that doesn’t belong to him holds Levi back. He feels as if he’s an intruder for the first time all morning. The second his laces are done up, Levi is out of the apartment (but not before stealing a fiber bar from Erwin’s cabinet.) He’s anxious for the duration of the elevator ride, as if Erwin’s—Erwin’s roommate could enter any second. He lights a cigarette the second he steps out onto the street. The nicotine calms him as he scrolls through his missed text messages, rolling his eyes at Eren’s pathetic attempts to get Levi to sext with him. Fucking brat. Maybe he’ll call him later. It would serve Erwin right. Levi thinks, then immediately feels guilty.
His phone rings. It’s Hanji, and she’s demanding to know why he didn’t respond to her last night and where was he now and—
“Shut up, shitglasses.” He tells her as he waits for the light to turn green.
“Shut up? Not on your life, shorty. I can’t believe you and Erwin went barhopping without me. Unbelievable. A complete betrayal, severing two decades worth of friendship—“
Levi waits until she’s sufficiently distracted by her own bluster to ask. “Hanji, what’s Erwin’s boyfriend’s name?”
“Sayram.” Hanji says, and then shrieks loudly. “Shit. Erwin’s gonna kill me.”
“I’m gonna kill you.” Levi tells her. He feels strangely calm. It’s probably the alcohol still swimming in his system. “Meet me at my place later. I’ll tell you what happened. And you better tell me what I want to know.”
“Sure thing, Captain!” Hanji chirps, and Levi hangs up before she could change the subject to something that would unsettle his already turbulent stomach. He sticks his hands in his pockets and turns the corner, starting on the long, boring trek back to his side of town. He doesn’t have enough money for bus fare. His plan was only half successful; Erwin had taken him home last night, but he was supposed to drive him back in the morning.
Oh, well. Levi thinks, glancing back at Erwin’s building. Next time.