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Techno: best friend ever

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Techno is the best friend ever.  

And no one else is even aware of this! It’s so unfair!! 

There’s lots of things that are bad in this word. Those jellyfish, the blue-ish see-through ones that dissolve your skin, eww yes, those are bad yes definitely. The smell of a boy’s locker room! The smell of durian!! When you order food in a restaurant and then the waiter comes back to tell you the thing you were most looking forward to eating has run out and you don’t get to eat it after all…those things are all bad! 

Going shopping with Tharn or Type when they’re trying to buy a present for the other one is  




But here Techno is, following Tharn around a humungous gigantic mall whilst the man sighs over teddies and cushions in the shape of love hearts and trays of chocolates and – 

Arghhh! What is wrong with these two? 

“Do you think Type would like this?” Tharn asks, holding up a mug that says World’s Cutest Boyfriend! on the side. Techno looks at the mug. Looks at Tharn. Looks at the mug. Looks at Tharn. Looks at the mug. Looks at Tharn –  

“Oh, okay, maybe not,” says Tharn sadly, and puts it back. Sadly!! Just because Techno is trying to save him from the certain death that would come from calling Type cute! 

Techno had thought shopping with Type for Tharn’s Christmas gift had been bad. Shopping with Tharn for Type’s anniversary gift is reallllly bad. And Tharn hasn’t even bought him any snacks yet! Techno would have definitely been more positive about some of those boxes of chocolate if he’d been allowed to sample one of them. 

It’s also bad because Tharn has money, so there isn’t even an upper limit on the stupid things he looks at. Techno had to drag him away from a tray of so so expensive watches a second ago. He could have paid his year’s accommodation with one of those! Type would have killed Tharn twice if he spent that much on a gift! 

Also why is he even buying anniversary gifts in the first place?? Techno thought their anniversary was months ago! 

Actually that’s a good point. Techno says it to Tharn, who tries to look innocent. 

“Ah…that wasn’t really our official anniversary. It was just the anniversary of the first time we…” 

“Oh, oh, oh, I’ve got it!” Techno says, holding up two fingers and nudging them against each other. Like dicks, get it? He makes a couple of lightsabre noises just for special effects.  

“…yes, that.” Tharn smirks. Such a cocky bastard! Gosh! Techno hopes Type doesn’t buy him anything nice – 

“Oooh what is Grumpy Type getting you as a present?!” he asks. Huh! Type didn’t ask Techno to go shopping with him this time! Did Type and Tharn fight over which one of them got to ask Techno? Did they both really want his help? Did they have to flip a coin –  

“I don’t know. He said something about going shopping with Champ later.”  


Well that’s just rude.  

Techno sniffs and looks around. Nope. Nope nope nope. None of this stuff will do. Obviously Champ is going to be no help at all but Techno still needs to demonstrate to the UNIVERSE that he is the best friend ever, so nope none of this crap in this crappy store will do –  

“No? Where are we going?” Tharn asks. Techno just tightens the grip on his shirt.  

“We’re going this way!” 

Ugh this mall is so big and Techno is so hungry and they pass at least three delicious-smelling restaurants but no! Techno is on a mission! He will not be distracted! Okay, he will not be distracted yet. Later. Tharn will owe him big time later. Big time like three courses, starter main dessert, maybe even a fancy extra starter like they have in Europe –  

He drags them down three floors and then along to the furthest back corner of the mall. Where was it where was it… 


Tharn looks at the shop. Techno holds his breath. If this was Type…well he’d be dead already. Type would probably have kicked him in the stomach and then run away because even though he acts all grumpy and tough he’s shy really but Tharn… 

Tharn is a cocky pervert who turned Techno’s best friend gay by, as far as Techno understands it, being realllllllly good in bed. 

So a sex shop is the perfect place to take him! 

Techno looks at the sex shop again. The mannequins in the window are wearing…dog collars? Like, all over. Huh, how weird. Wait, and that one is wearing –  

“Techno.” Tharn’s hands come down to rest on his shoulders. “You're a great friend. Thank you for bringing me to this place.” 

“Ah, ah, ahhhhh I knew you would like it!” Techno grins. Best. Friend. Ever!! “Okay okay, let’s go in, let’s buy some things and then go back to the Italian place on the second floor –” 

“Techno. You and Type have been friends for how long?” Tharn asks, and Techno tips his head from side to side as he thinks. 

“Ohhh five…six?....six years! Yeah six years.” 

Tharn mouth is twitching. Is he laughing? Techno eyes him suspiciously. 

“Techno, do you really want to watch me buy sex things to use on your best friend that you’ve known for six years?” 



Um. No. No thank you. 

Tharn’s mouth twitches even more when Techno shakes his head as fast as it will go. Nope nope no way nope. 

“Okay.” Tharn reaches into his pocket and fishes out his wallet. “There’s a pretzel stall over there, do you want a pretzel?” 



“You eat a pretzel. I’ll be back in ten – hmmmm, twenty minutes. Then we’ll go get lunch.” 

Honestly, Techno doesn’t know what he was so upset about earlier, shopping with Tharn is a dream, he’s so considerate and generous, Techno is going to volunteer to go shopping with him every single time and Champ can deal with Grumpy Type and Tharn will loudly acknowledge that Techno is the best friend ever. 

Techno looks at the pretzel stall, then back at the sex shop. 

Then at the pretzel stall, then back at the sex shop. 

He probably doesn’t need to rush choosing which pretzel he wants. He has a feeling Tharn might take a bit longer than twenty minutes. 

Tharn feels like his heart is full of light when he and Type finally get home. Tonight…tonight has been a night he will never forget. This was Type’s anniversary gift to him: a night where Type was utterly, completely, Tharn’s. No hesitation, no shyness, no nervousness. They went out for dinner at the sort of fancy restaurant Type normally snorts at and he let Tharn pay without glaring and held his hand over the table without pulling away. Tharn can’t even imagine what it took for Type to put all his insecurities and anxieties aside for an evening, just so Tharn’s romantic soul could have the anniversary date night of his dreams. He’d never want Type like this all the time, he loves Type, up to and including his eye-rolling at expensive food and his twitchiness with PDAs. But to have a night like this…Tharn’s got such butterflies in his stomach that he almost thinks he’s falling in love all over again.  

And then he walks into the bedroom and sees everything he laid out earlier on the bedside table and wonders if maybe he’s lowered the tone of the evening just a bit. 

“Mmm, Tharn, do you want first shower?” Type asks, sliding his arms around Tharn’s waist from behind. Tharn just sort of freezes. Might as well just…wait for Type to notice his present he guesses. Type has an eagle eye for anything changing in the apartment, it won’t be long until – “hey, what are these?” 

“Happy – happy anniversary.” Tharn says. Type looks from the bedside table to him and back again and then wanders over to pick up a bottle. 

“Edible chocolate body paint?” he reads slowly, and then the other one. “Cherry lube?” 

“With tingling sensation.” Tharn adds. Type looks down at the two bottles, and then to Tharn’s absolute delight he starts turning pink all the way to his ears. “Why don’t you have first shower?” Tharn suggests, trying to keep his voice like normal and not like the way it goes when he wants to rail Type into the mattress. His gorgeous, blushing boyfriend – Type would kill him if he knew how much Tharn loves his blush – darts into the bathroom without another word and Tharn falls back onto the bed with a grin. 

He’d actually bought another two bags worth of stuff from that store (Techno had had to carry one of them, and made the mistake of peeking inside, and then made Tharn pay for a ridiculous amount of food to compensate him for his trauma) but he’s very glad he went with the chocolate for this evening. After all, after a wonderful dinner out what’s better than a little dessert? 

Type comes out of the bathroom and sees him lying there with a grin on his face and promptly throws the towel at him. Tharn just laughs and drags him onto the bed. 

“Get off me! You’re heavy!” Type snarls. Tharn presses his lips to Type’s shoulder, his neck, his ear, feeling the soft flesh underneath.  

“A whole year of me squishing you like this and you’re still not used to it?” he asks jokingly. To his surprise Type squirms a little more and then settles down. He can’t meet Tharn’s eyes when he raises his head to look at him, so instead Tharn drops little kisses down the side of his face. “I’m still not used to it,” he murmurs. “I’ll never get used to how good you feel underneath me.” 

“Tharn!” He gets pushed away so Type can cover his face with both hands. Then they get yanked down so his kitten can scowl at him. “Just use your weird edible paint stuff and get on with it.” 

Tharn laughs silently to himself as he quickly yanks off his clothes, wondering how long it’s going to take before Type stops blushing in bed. Probably months. Possibly years. Potentially never.  

Any option is good.  

Type might scowl and grumble but he’s already half-hard on the bed, and all he does is shift restlessly as Tharn dips his fingers into the pot of chocolate body paint and then look down at the gorgeous golden canvas beneath him.

“Hurry up!” 

“I want to appreciate you. A year hasn’t been enough time for me to get used to how attractive you are.” Tharn says, both because it’s true and because he wants to watch Type squirm and get even harder. Fuck, just looking at him is testing Tharn’s control. But he wants to have fun with this, wants to make Type squirm in a whole new way. 

Squirm doesn’t even come close to how Type reacts as Tharn’s tongue follows the trails of chocolate over his abs, down his hips, along his cock…Tharn has to hold his hips down with one hand as he focuses on licking up every chocolate smear he left behind, his own cock getting harder by the second at the noises Type makes. Finally he dips two fingers in the chocolate and shoves them into Type’s mouth to keep him quiet before Tharn embarrasses himself by coming too early on their anniversary night. 

Type’s cock is hard on his tongue when Tharn finally slides his mouth down it, the salty taste of Type’s skin mixing with chocolate sweetness. Fuck this was such a good idea, Tharn probably needs to take Techno out for dinner again. He slides a little deeper just to make Type moan, just to feel that moan around his fingers, and then yanks them out. 

Time for a new flavour. 

“Type you have no idea how fucking gorgeous you are,” Tharn rasps out as he flips Type over. Type immediately starts rubbing his hips against the covers and Tharn yanks him back, spreads his cheeks wide. “All this, all for me, fuck, baby, I could do this for days –” 

“Tharn! Just do it already!” Type wriggles in his hold and Tharn smirks as he presses his fingers against Type’s hole. He can already feel the hot-cold gentle buzz of the lube on his own skin and he rubs just a little over Type’s entrance, and waits. 

Type is shifting restlessly anyway but then he just seems to freeze. His hips move almost uncertainly and Tharn has to nip at one golden cheek to try and calm himself down. Type’s breathing is slowly changing to gasps as he squirms and squirms and squirms. 

“Ah, fuck, Tharn – what did – what is that?” 

“I thought you’d like it,” Tharn laughs, pressing his fingers slowly inside. Type makes a high pitched noise and jerks with his entire body but Tharn’s got his hips trapped, making Type take his fingers and spread that tingling sensation around inside. God Type is wrecked already, shaking and pleading as the lube drives him insane. 

“Stop laughing you bastard!” he manages to get out, as Tharn flips him back over and looks down at his work. Type is covered in pink marks and chocolate smears, his abs tensing. Tharn should get some whipped cream next time. He could eat an entire dessert off Type, just to make him beg for it. 

But right now Tharn is so hard he’s gritting his teeth to stop from just from wanking off onto Type, adding white streaks to those chocolate ones. He groans desperately as he swipes the lube over his cock – oh, fuck – and shoves Type’s thighs up. Type grabs for his shoulders and holds on. 

“Fuck me Tharn, please, please –” 

“Always,” Tharn manages to gasp out as he presses inside. Oh fuck oh fuck, this is insane, Type is so fucking hot and tight, he can’t stop clenching down as that fucking lube drives them both crazy and Tharn has to start pounding into him immediately. “This year – and the next year – and the next year –” 

“Just focus on fucking me right now,” Type hisses. Then he’s dragging Tharn down to kiss him desperately, sweet despite how frantically Tharn is fucking into him. God they both taste of chocolate now and Tharn can’t stop kissing him, never wants to stop kissing him. It’s Type who finally tears his mouth away so he can gasp for breath and Tharn feels his balls draw up tight at the sight of him, sweaty and pink and desperate.  

“Oh fuck, Type, Type, Type –” he manages to gasp out and then oh fuck he’s coming so hard it hurts, slamming deep a last few times as he fills Type up, feeling his come already start to slide out around his cock. 

Tharn…!” Type begs, and Tharn presses a sweaty kiss against his neck. 

“I got you baby.” 

Type’s eyes are huge and shining as Tharn presses his thighs a little wider, holds him open a little more. Like this Type is all spread out and open for him and Tharn can nudge his still-hard cock as deep as it will go until Type tips his head back and moans. And then Tharn swipes some of that tingling lube over his hand and wraps it around Type’s cock, and the moans go frantic and desperate as Tharn jerks him off until he’s coming with a broken-off gasp that almost makes Tharn want to go again. 

“Tharn you arsehole I’m going to kill you get this stuff off me!” Type gasps out less than ten seconds later, and Tharn holds back his laughter as he stumbles to the bathroom on shaky legs to get a washcloth. Type is still shivering through the aftershocks when he comes out – hmmmm, maybe he should use this lube more deliberately next time, Type makes the sexiest noises when he’s overstimulated – but then he holds out his arms for Tharn as soon as he’s clean and Tharn immediately cuddles up around him. 

“You’re such a dickhead.” Type mutters into his shoulder. Tharn makes an offended noise and steals a kiss, which is probably mixed messaging but Type is just so cute when he’s fucked out and sleepy. 

“What did I do?” 

“This wasn’t an anniversary gift for me.” Type says, opening one eye to glare at him. “This was for you!” 

“It was definitely for both of us.” Tharn argues. He is absolutely not mentioning the other two bags of stuff hidden in the closet. Type makes a grumpy disagreeing noise and yanks at Tharn’s arms until he’s cuddling him the way he wants to be cuddled.  

Tharn hums low in his chest. “Next year you can chose the kinky anniversary sex?” he offers, and promptly gets a (mostly gentle) bite on his forearm. Fortunately Type is being little spoon so he can’t see Tharn’s grin. Tharn kisses the back of his neck. 

“Happy anniversary Type.” 

There is a long moment, during which Tharn holds him closer and feels utterly content with the world. This is the first year of many, many more. 

“Happy anniversary Tharn. Arsehole.” 

He can’t wait.