Actions

Work Header

The Lion & the Wolf

Summary:

Plot: After awakening from her slumber, Erys has found herself as one of the companions with what remains of the Inquisition. Her life and the ones she is now surrounded by will journey into their own lives from romance, to friendships, and betrayal.

Setting: Post Trespasser

Keep Posted: I updated my instagram often when a new chapter, writing, or art will be released. Follow me @EllainaGrey

Chapter 1: The First Snow

Summary:

Erys finds herself on a journey back to the Inquisition alone with Commander Cullen. The winter storm in coming and between them....who will be the first to find joy during the first snow.
A436-FE81-1207-467-A-98-F0-8-F9-DA5994-A08

Notes:

~ - flashback

**** - beginning or ending of scene

For more on Erys check out Veiled Distance

Chapter Text

Empty and cold, the chill of the winter wind left Erys’ skin red and worn to its touch. The trees bore no leaves to break the habits of the wind that blew deep into her bones it seems, shivering from the cold. It had been the coldest winter she had experience in a long time since waking. It seemed almost a dream to be following the Commander of the Inquisition on horseback as they traveled back to their new hold.

It had been at least a year now since Erys had found herself in the company of the former Inquisition, holding onto itself by the sliver of threads left by Inquisitor Lavellan. The amount of heartbreak Erys had found herself in was a downward spiral she had no time or attention to give. If only, if only she would have found a way to her former love, maybe, just maybe Solas would not have sunk so far into his despair to rid the world of the Forgotten Ones and the Evanuris.

Erys knew the price Solas paid was costly, like her, he had slumbered for centuries before finding a changed Thedas, the elvhen people were no more like them. There were several that had followed the old ways, but even then, those generations that passed them down had become slowly distorted in their own. Everything always came with a price, in order to regain her memories she bargained with her own kin, knowing fully well being one of the first of her kind would never been taken lightly now with the future of Thedas resting in the hopes of those who stood against the Dread Wolf.

Silence was the best Erys could afford to keep herself safe, and to help the remaining Inquisition through their new journey. Inquisitor Lavellan had welcomed her kindly, discreetly without the opinions of her advisors, Commander Cullen Rutherford, Cassandra Pentaghast, and Leiliana. Yet now, she was more than well enough trusted to go on missions alone or venture beyond the hold. There had to be something Erys could find, a missing piece that could point to the lair of Solas and his agents or to stop the cataclysm of events that would follow if the veil was successfully torn down.

 

Erys shivered, either from the bitter wind or the unforeseen events that could take place. Dreams, more like nightmares would haunt her when she entered the fade, a place she dared not to go often lately. While the fade had brough back her missing memories from centuries ago, the price of her slumber meant losing the one she had loved the most, Solas. She felt the frustration and that emptiness once again, he had found love in another, Lavellan.

Either the Commander could read her thoughts or noticed her trailing further behind, Erys knew he could not see this shambled existence for now caused her to pull the hood of her coat further over her face. There was a small comfort in traveling alone with the Commander, seeing a side of him that made a small part of her heart flutter. His golden curls when neatly slicked back was a sight she adored the most, next to the huskiness of his voice when he would speak at the war table. A small consolation for her misery in this more modern Thedas.

The wind picked up, causing the journey to be harder than before and the sign of any covering from the weather was a small chance to find. “Commander,” Erys spoke, her voice shaky and quiet against the wind, “should we try to find refuge, the weather does not look like it will hold out much longer.” A hopeful thought that he would concede and find somewhere to stay put for the night. The chances of a snowstorm lurked in the corner of her mind; one she did not want to wander in aimlessly if they were to get caught.

“A little further in and there should be an inn up a head,” the Commander pointed forward, slowing down to ride side-by-side, “we can stay there for a night but not any longer, we cannot be delayed.”

Erys nodded the best she could, the wind was chilling her to the bone. Even her heaviest winter coat and attire was no match against the wind. She looked at the Commander noticing how red his cheeks were from the kiss of the wind, how she wished it was for a different reason instead. It had been a slow growing affection for the Commander during her stay at their hold, one she knew he probably did not return. She shook away the thought after a moment, it was after all just a dream.

****

 

The inn was quite a buzz with all of those seeking refuge from the winter storm brewing outside its walls. People of all sorts nestled up to the fire, for once forgetting their issues with one another. It was quiet and cozy despite all the movement surrounding them. Erys watched as the Commander shook his head, seemingly frustrated with whatever the innkeeper had tried to explain.

“Is there a problem,” Erys walked over, closer to hear the minor disagreement between the two. The Commander rubbed his temple as if to relieve himself of a headache. All Erys could do was smile softly and wait patiently for whatever the news was.

Cullen sighed softly, a tinge of frustration mixed in with tiredness, “it seems that….that we must share a room.” He never brought his eyes to look at her when he spoke, a new normal between the two of them. “You take the bed, I guess I will figure out somewhere else for me to sleep.”

Erys without thought grabbed his hand, looking down the minute her fingers grazed his leather gloves. She willed herself to withdraw her hand, but despite telling her body what to do, it chose otherwise. Fate would be messing with her once again it seems, no he must never know that she had some sort of feelings for him beyond Commander and a companion of the Inquisition. “Pitching a tent in the middle of a winter storm is not wise Commander,” she had found her voice once again, reasoning with him, “the last thing the Inquisitor needs is her Commander frozen to death.”

Cullen withdrew his hand away from Erys’ grasp, he noticed the flicker in her eyes when he made that motion. He always noticed how she smiled and looked at him when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. There was something about her that was different and even though there was little he knew about her, yet she had a way of finding a spare moment in his thoughts. He chuckled nervously, hoping not to betray his feelings for her tonight. “Fine, Erys,” he spoke finally looking at her.

Erys led the way up the stairs to the room, finding the room quite tidy yet small. This was going to be an interesting evening for her, and probably for the already nervous Commander. She wondered to herself if he had ever been close to another woman in his life as she chuckled softly to herself. “It seems that there is only one bed,” she spoke gently as she set her things down by the couch, “you can have it, I can make do with the smaller couch.”

~

Cullen had stopped listening to Erys as soon as he made it to the room. It seemed the Maker himself had a will of his own tonight. Maybe, just maybe tonight he could stop denying his feelings for her. She had become a constant in his life after Lavellan had made her feelings known for their former companion. Everything about Erys, this silver-haired, brilliant blue-eyed, petite yet curvy elf had brought a breath of fresh air into his life.

There were many days that Cullen had struggled with his former life, the nightmares growing stronger as he continued to stay clear of lyrium. Yet months ago, he found himself weak as he looked at the box of his past, and without question, Erys had found a voice for him to continue his new path, one that he knew would continue to be hard, yet her smile was all the comfort he needed. Her eyes had locked in on his as if she could see the former shell of the man he once was, the tormented soul when he was with the Templars, the man who still wanted to make his own way.

That day, Erys was everything and more that he needed. She had a gentle fierceness about her, almost as she carried herself like a goddess. There was much he did not know about her, but that made him want to be near her more. She had sought him out and had taken the chest away from him, making a promise to him that she would see him through the pain and nightmares that would come still. It was then he knew that resisting her would be hardest journey and he did not want to lose her.

~

Erys looked out the window, the silence in the room was creeping in besides their breathing. She heard the Commander move closer to her and she turned quickly enough for her to find him looking at her, a look she had never seen from him before. There was a blush on his cheeks as if the wind had made its way inside, but this blush was different, more nervous than the cold. “Commander,” she asked quietly, “can I…”

Cullen’s lips crashed against Erys’ muffling whatever she had left to say, his arms encircling her into his body. Pulling her in closer and drowning her with a feverish kiss that lasted several moments before he pulled away, breathless. There was nothing more than he wanted right now than to be alone with her, now that he had found that lion’s courage to make his feelings known. She stood frozen in front of him, her eyes wide and slowly placing her fingers against her bottom lip, there was no resisting another kiss.

“Cullen,” Erys asked breathless, this was the first time she had called him by his own name. The way it rolled off her tongue felt right, the first time she had allowed herself to let her guard down around him. “Are you sure?”

If there was anything Cullen was sure of now, it was how kissable Erys’ rosy lips were. How he wanted to be the only one to kiss her. The only one to hold her. To be Cullen for her in their space alone free from the worries of the Inquisition. He wanted to be with her. There was no need for words to reply how ready and sure he felt, he leaned down and kissed her, wrapping his fingers in her long silver hair.

Cullen found himself pressing against Erys, forcing her back into the wall next to the window. A soft gentle moan escaped her lips, there was nothing more he could desire than to hear that once again. He had waited so long to find a moment alone, a moment truly alone without the prying eyes and ears of their companions. Erys’ finally brought her arms around his neck, wrapping her delicate fingers in his hair. He gave her one final kiss before hoisting her up into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist while she placed soft tender kisses along his neck.

Erys felt her heart flutter with every small kiss Cullen placed on her lips and her neck as he carried her to the bed. She had missed out on so much during her slumber, her time away from the real world, that experiencing this was surreal. Yet it was real, all of this was real it wasn’t a dream or a trick of the Fade. Cullen was a chance for a new beginning, a new chance for love in her life. “Cullen, I’m yours,” she whispered in his ear as her lips softly touched his neck.

Cullen felt his body stir, the fire running through his veins when Erys whispered in his ear. He held everything that mattered in this moment in his arms, and he was going to cherish her as if she was the world. Her fingers began to loosen the straps of his chest plate as he set her down on the bed. ‘Maker,’ he thought to himself as she softly kissed further down his neck the chest plate was finally loose. He made quick work of removing what was left of his armor before noticing her unlacing the straps that held her own breastplate under her tunic. He leaned down to kiss her, replacing her fingers with his as he removed what was left of her breastplate.

Erys nibbled at Cullen’s neck allowing herself to hear an all too pleasing groan from him before removing his undershirt and slowly dragging her fingers down his abdomen, making her way lower before stopping at the laces of his pants. She was enjoying the thrill of him hovering over her, kissing her feverishly as if he would never get enough. And to be honest, she would never get enough of this high.

Cullen stood only for a moment, relieving himself what little clothing remained on him. “Maker’s breath,” he whispered seeing Erys smile as she watched him undress. Her eyes narrowed as her eyes wandered up and down with a smile that he never imagined could be any sexier was on her lips. Every scar was on display in front of her, and yet her expression was one he would never forget, love. He felt the heat rising in his loins and he leaned over her, taking the last of her clothing off, except the lacy brassiere with the front laces.

Erys skin was warm under his lips as he hovered over her once more, pressing his body into hers. He let his teeth graze her skin as he sunk lower bringing his teeth to the laces of her brassiere, unlacing it slowly as he rocked his hips into hers. A most satisfied moan made him dig his hips into further, teasing her a little bit more. He flung the brassiere to the floor, paying no mind to the soft thud it made. Her fingers traced against his back as she grinded her hips in time with his, he knew tonight he would make her fully his.

Cullen pulled Erys legs around his waist as he centered himself at her core stilling himself for a moment as she brought her lips back to his. Erys looked at him, her eyes brimming with desire was all he needed. He brought his mouth to hers, biting softly on her bottom lip as he slowly entered her. She moaned against his lips, her body arching, her fingers digging into his back as he moved further into her. His hips grinding into hers as she writhed beneath him. Each thrust sending waves of pleasure between both of them as their bodies grinded into each other.

“Cullen,” Erys whispered in his ear, breathless and biting back a moan. The look in his eyes was more than just desire, it was the months of adoration he held for her. His breath was hot against her neck as he nibbled up and down, placing little kisses in between. She shivered against him, pulling him in closer feeling the tingling sensation fill her body.

Cullen thrusted quicker and harder before, hearing his name from Erys’ breathless lips was sensual. He dug his hips in more, kissing her lips harder stifling every moan that tried to escape. He could feel the heat rising between them, knowing soon his climax would be reached. Her fingers on his skin were like little sparks igniting him further into her, no longer the gentle Commander, a fierce lion belonged to her and her alone. He could feel her body tense beneath him before she let out a flurry of moans and sighs.

Erys felt every tingle run through her body as she released, feeling his release in his final thrust. His body shook above her, his arms slowly giving way as he laid down beside her. His arms wrapped her in a loving embrace as he gently kissed her forehead. She leaned into him, kissing the scar above his lip as she ran her fingers along his arm memorizing the scars along his skin.

Both of them resting against one another, silently listening to the sounds of their hearts beating in time. “Erys,” Cullen softly spoke in her ear, “I love you.” The biggest smile found her lips as she gently kissed his lips and whispered, “I love you too.” He pulled the covers over them, resting her head on his chest as they watched the first of the snow gently drift down beyond the window.

 

Chapter 2: No Longer Alone *UPDATED*

Summary:

Erys and Cullen find themselves on the journey back home. Back to the praying eyes and gossip of those, the last of the Inquisition.
Yet, love.... even in the beginning stages is not often lost to the truth.

Notes:

~ - flashback scene
**** - ending or beginning of a new scene

For more on Erys - check out Veiled Distance

Chapter Text

Cullen found himself awake, holding on to Erys, her fingers laced tightly in his hand as she still slept in his arms. She was angelic even in her slumber, her rosy lips slightly parted as she continued to dream. He lightly kissed the top of her head watching her stir slightly at his touch as he loosened his fingers from her hand. Her features were soft and delicate, he brought his hand to her face lightly tracing each curve of her cheeks, each brow, and lastly her lips. Pausing for a moment watching her brilliant blue eyes slowly open. A sleepy soft smile on her lips as she looked up at him.

Erys peered up at Cullen, looking into his perfect shade of amber brown eyes as she lightly kissed the finger that remained on her bottom lip. His eyes warm, like a slow roaring fire as he returned her glances with a tender smile. Shifting slightly as she leaned over him, her silver hair falling gracefully over her bare shoulders, her lips finding his at last. There was nothing more in the world she wanted to hear besides his hearty chuckle as he returned her myriad of kisses. A sound that neither one of them thought they would hear together after their first encounter.

~

Cullen stared at the silver-haired elf that stood before the last of the Inquisition. It was not uncommon for those to seek out the remaining Inquisition in the hopes to offer coin, services, and wares as they searched for answers to prevent all of Thedas from disaster. In all of his years from serving the Tempalrs and now the Commander of the Inquisition he felt restless. Yet, he could not give less to the Inquisition until the fate of Thedas was no longer one of destruction.

The silver-haired elf did not seem like much of a warrior to Cullen, yet her she offered her services as a mage and her knowledge of the elvhen to the Inquisition. ‘Maker’s breath’, he thought, another elf claiming to know more about these ancient elvhen artifacts placed throughout Thedas keeping the Veil stable for now. He tapped his foot drawing the bluest of eyes he had ever seen to him, if her eyes could cut like a knife this would have been it.

“Commander Cullen Rutherford correct,” the silver-haired elf spoke matter-of-factly at him, “does me being an elf seem to be a problem, or does being a mage, or maybe the knowledge I wish to give you?” Her eyes did not leave his for a moment, he could feel every part of her piercing deeper into his soul. All he could muster was the simple shake of his head in order to say ‘no,’ she had left him speechless.

Inquisitor Lavellan stood drawing the attention from Cullen back to herself. “How about we start with your name and who you are,” she asked in a gentle command. Erys’ blue eyes narrowed slightly back at him before giving their full attention to the Inquisitor.

“Erys, is the only name I go by,” her answer seemed to suffice the Inquisitor just enough. “I am an elven mage that has spent the past several years studying the ancient ruins and artifacts left untouched by the elvhen, it may not stop this Solas, Fen’harel from destroying Thedas, but it could unlock answers we all seek.”  Lavellan nodded, a simple gesture asking her to continue, the furthest anyone seeking to join lately had gotten. “While I can’t share everything about who I am, I will do whatever it takes to help the Inquisition and stop this world from ending in ruin.”

Cullen was taken aback when the Inquisitor made her final say without consulting her advisors. “Erys, you will have a trial within our Inquisition, however if you attempt to betray us or abuse this trial Leiliana will see if to dispose of you,” the Inquisitor turned on her heels and left the war room. Cassandra was next to follow with Leiliana, their eyes barely meeting with Erys’ as they whispered amongst themselves. Then there was just the two of them, Cullen stood to stand looking for the easiest and less uncomfortable route, something he had gotten used to with the Inquisitor.

“Commander,” Erys’ voice was soft, and her eyes shared that same sentiment, “I didn’t want to cause offense, but I want to be apart of this.” She was still standing, looking directly at him as if she could sense his frustration. “I know that my timing is imperfect after the betrayal of a former companion, I know that being a mage and an elf is cause for concern,” she smiled softly as if she needed to convince herself all this effort was worth it, “I know my knowledge scares everyone around me, but I know that our world deserves to thrive despite the mistakes of Fen’harel.” She bowed her head and simply turned to go, her brilliant blue eyes the last to leave his gaze.

If Cullen was certain of anything now, this Erys had stirred something in him that had long been dormant. He waited awhile trying to rid the image of her face from his mind, failing in any attempt to be free.

~

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen’s voice was deep and warm as he pulled Erys into his chest, “what I would trade for us not to be return back to the Inquisition.” His eyes saddened by the reminder that soon they would be back among the rest. Prying eyes and gossiping tongues throughout the halls, not a moment that would be spared for them to be free. He hugged her tightly, placing his chin on top of her head, taking in the moment of freedom.

Erys felt the pang in her heart, knowing fully well she felt his sentiments exactly. She let herself lay there in the silence, listening to his heart beating softly in his chest. “As much as I wish it too, we both know all too well the price of trading things we shouldn’t,” she felt a lump in her throat, the past she had kept secret from him weighed on her mind. It was as if he could read her mind, he placed a finger under her chin gently bringing her eyes to his. That was all it took and the waterfall of tears of her past, her pain, her fears were exposed with no hopes of closing the damned flood gates.

Cullen sat upright, wrapping his arms around Erys tighter, her tears soaking his skin. This was the first time he had seen her so hurt, so vulnerable in front of anyone. He softly rubbed the back of her head as he cradled her, gently rocking back and forth a small gesture to console her. “Breathe,” he whispered tenderly in her ear, “I am here when you are ready.” Her arms wrapped around his neck slowly, a small nod into his chest was all the answer he needed from her. Yet, a stream of worries found him as he held her close, there was something she had kept hidden from him, from them all.

Erys stayed still in Cullen’s arms, holding onto him tightly building what strength, what courage she would need for what would come next. His callused hands moved as softly as they could against her back, bringing her back to what she must do next. “Cullen,” her voice was timid and meek as she brought her eyes back to his, “before we return back, there is something that you must know.” If this was what to come next, she would risk everything that was left to love him freely without guilt, without the regrets of her past.

“But not here,” Erys looked at Cullen softly, wiping what remained of the tears from her eyes, “all walls have ears.” The sound of footsteps began to fill the once silent and empty halls of the inn, the morning was just beginning to unfold. She went to leave his side feeling his hand grab her wrist as she tried to stand pulling her back into him. He was always full of surprises with his gestures, yet this was a side of him that was more confident, more in control than before. His soft kisses found her tear-soaked cheeks, kissing away anything that remained on them, he was home.

****

Icicles dripped slowly off the branches of the barren trees as they embarked on the journey back home to the Inquisition. Back to the prying eyes and whispered gossip falling off tongues, things that were forgotten if only for one night. The freedoms to just be without worry was a luxury neither Cullen nor Erys possessed. A dream that could only be realized once Thedas was safe and their abilities were no longer needed.

Erys glanced at Cullen as they rode side by side, the winter sun slightly covered by the dusty-gray clouds as they looked for a place to stop. Traveling on horseback was not easy for either of them with the hours spent in between began to take its toll. She sighed softly, her breath as white as smoke, the cold was not her favorite. Each glance she took over her shoulder at him left an empty pit in her stomach. ‘ Such a stupid mistake,’ she thought bitterly at herself, her own feelings of shame and guilt would always betray her.

 “Cullen,” Erys pulled the reins back on her horse slowing to a stop, “can we stop here?” She hoped he would oblige and allow them a moment to get off of their mounts, she disliked the empty feeling that was eating away at her. He nodded, a silent yes from him, that empty pit was growing larger almost gnawing away at what courage she had left. This could be the perfect opportunity to flee, to run, but what good would that do….running away never solved problems and she knew that well. He needed to know, from there her life was up to him.

~

Erys made sure to keep as much about her past to herself as possible, she knew the mistakes Solas had made when he joined the Inquisition. She would not make the same mistakes, but then again she was no different. If they knew who she truly was could they trust her? Or would they turn their backs and find any means to push her back?

One thing was certain to Erys….. there was no going back to Solas. That was a past that did not need to relieved, a past that gave her love and passion once, but his own desires to always save ‘their people’ fell in the way. She struggled with his plans for so long, his plans to rid the elvhen world of the Evanuris and the Forbidden Ones would end in turmoil, a warning that he would not heed. A dream in the fade that she had experienced, now living it amongst the Inquisition.

Cullen wasn’t very light on his feet as he walked over to where he found Erys lost in thought. She wasn’t one to be easily startled by anything or anyone around her, except today. “Erys,” he watched as she jumped slightly, looking a bit rattled once she noticed who broke her thoughts. It took everything to stop himself from chuckling at her, she was quite beautiful when she was lost in thought, picturesque. “We need you in the war room,” he tried to stay the calm and collected commander in front of her, “Inquisitor Lavellan has something that needs our attention.

Erys watched as the Commander walked away, this was going to be the last time she allowed herself to get lost in her own thoughts. But she couldn’t help but smile, he was normally awkward around her or anything other female, yet today….he was more. A more collected man that stood in front of her, trying so hard not to smile or chuckle at how he startled her. There was something about his amber brown eyes that drew her to him, the warmth they held when he spoke. He was unfamiliar, he was everything she had not known before.

~

Cullen held out his arms as Erys braced herself against him and helped her dismount from her horse. She looked at him softly, her brilliant blue eyes lacking the same sparkling shine of the morning. He could feel her shivering as he set her down, the snow softening the thud of her boots. Her eyes betrayed her for a moment, and he knew that she was struggling with whatever upset her earlier. “Erys,” he wanted to ask her only to find her small delicate gloved fingertip pressed against his lips.

Eryrs grabbed Cullen’s gloved hands, they were strong and warm wrapped within hers now. The warmth he shared gave her the will to continue, the strength she needed to free herself. Her eyes found his, a hint of warmth found its way forward in his amber brown eyes, he was not….. him, Solas. Cullen was truly a warm-hearted, kind and gentle man with all the fierceness and strength of his former templar self, the two were never in the same space.

“My life before you, before the Inquisition was a different life,” Erys found the lump in her throat smaller as she brought forth the courage deep within to speak her truth, “I am what you have known the past months, but I am of the same kin from the people Solas wishes to restore, the elvhen.” She paused, wary of the look on his face, the narrowing of his eyes and the furrowing of his brow – there was no turning back, a deep breath in and the words found her lips. “I am not him, that former life brings me no comfort…it reminds me of all the pain and turmoil I suffered at the hands, disillusioned for a time when I had forgotten who I was then.”

Eyrs fidgeted with her hands, wringing her fingers softly against one another as if to deflect the anxiousness she felt coursing through her veins. She had made it this far and this had now become the point of no return, there was no magic to undo what had been disclosed between them. “I am Erys that is true, kin to the first of our kind but I do not bear the title of the would-be-gods or the Forbidden Ones,” she shifted on her feet taking in as deep of a breath that her lungs would allow, “I fought alongside the Evanuris long ago to free our people from the Forbidden Ones only to find myself in chains after it was all but won, a breathing tool for the purpose to win wars for them.”

Cullen watched as Erys’ eyes fell to the ground, her arms now clasped tightly against her body as if she was holding the world around them together. He wanted to console her, wanted to wrap his arms around her…but there was more left unanswered.

“I rebelled against their madness, their greed that consumed the Evanuris pitting battles that destroyed our kind even more,” Erys held herself tighter as she broke the silence, “until one day Mythal had captured me and I was tortured under her care. I blacked out from the chaos that ensued and my memory is still hazy from those days .” Her eyes brimmed with tears that softly trickled down her face, dripping silently onto the snow. “When I awoke, I was in a difference place than what I had known. Solas was one of the few faces I encountered after recovering from the blood loss ,” she sighed, “encounters later on in our lives would lead us to where we are now, not even I could have foreseen what the future held… yet, I would not trade anything for where I am now…in front of you…Cullen.”

Cullen was taken aback by Erys’ confession, he had sensed there was more to her than she had allowed them to see. He had never questioned her intentions since their first meeting, yet he knew unlike the others – she was not their former companion, Solas who sought to destroy the world to restore his own. He remained silent allowing her to bring forth her reasonings, for her silence for so long – there was a look of fear and sorrow in her blue eyes. The same brilliant blue eyes that long ago would find him in his nightmares, the same eyes, her eyes that would find him and bring him out of that retched hell. 

“I sought to restore my memories for so long and when the memories that slowly began to return, the divide between Solas and I grew wider ,” Erys let out a long sigh, her breath white as the snow, “that was when I had thought I knew what love was….but I know now – if he had truly loved me, he wouldn’t have betrayed me.” Her eyes fell to the ground, refusing to look at Cullen, knowing the truth had consequences she feared. “I am not blinded by that reckless ambition, I simply wish to save the world from what will come,” she sought his eyes seeking to draw strength from him finding it there within, “then I found myself falling, blindsided by a golden-haired, amber brown eyed Inquisition Commander and I even with my abilities never thought I would have found what I was missing with you, that missing piece.”

Cullen noticed a small twinkle in her blue eyes as Erys spoke about him, a small sweet smile forming as she talked about finding what was missing within him. Yet there was a sadness he felt, a part of him knew there was a past love or lovers, but not the one he would have never assumed. Yet, he was certain she was true to him, she was true the night before. The ‘ I love you,’ that fell off her lips was genuine, it was a real as her holding onto him. He pulled her in, allowing himself to register everything that had been brought forth, everything that she was to him….he knew he would continue to fight.

Erys felt the coldness of Cullen’s chest plate against her face, bringing a calmness to her state. His arms were tight against her back as he held her close, a gesture she never would take for granted. She confessed her truths, her life, her intentions and he still found a way to hold her, warm tears trickled down her face. Her arms found their way around his waist, an embrace that reminded her that she was no longer alone.

Chapter 3: In My Heart

Summary:

Erys and Cullen's romance continues to grow even with the terrors, the secrecy, and the pains of their past.
5-FE28056-7398-45-A3-836-E-ECB11-EAD882-D

Notes:

**** - new scene

______ - dream sequence

 

~ - flashback

Chapter Text

Monsters do not always take the form of demons, even the most fearless fall prey to their innermost pain. Erys knew this all too well as she watched the memories shift and fade during her slumber, night terrors were common the more the world changed around her. Darkness was never too kind, even when lit by veil fire that illuminated her distant memories before the fall.

____

‘I loved you with all my heart vhenan,’ a shadow of what once was pleaded on her knees, ‘why do you turn from me?’ The shadow of the man that stood before her, his back to her face before his shadow dissipated into nothingness.

Erys clutched at her chest feeling the all too distant pain once again. Emotions she had buried deep within, locked away in the hopes to free herself from him. ‘You have turned your back on the world, in an attempt to save it,’ she whispered to herself, ‘Solas, the Dread Wolf will not win this war….even if the cost is my own.’

She turned her back on the shadows of her past, the demons and monsters would no longer have any welcome here. This was her realm, her haven when she slumbered locked away from the shifting of the world as the veil rose. ‘I am not the one you seek, I am more than my demons. Ir tel’him, I’m me again.’

_____

Erys stirred from her slumber, emotionally drained from the unwanted memories resurfacing. She shivered as she wrapped her arms around herself longing for the warmth of Cullen’s embrace once again. Loneliness echoed in the silent room, resounding unspoken thoughts of how much she missed Cullen’s warm embrace from days ago. Curling up into herself, imagining him sitting beside her once again kissing her softly…she watched as the sunlight streamed in giving off a soft glow of light.

****

The hold was still at peace, a rare moment that one could briefly forget they were in the middle of a war. Cullen ran his fingers through his golden hair, war….it seemed as if he would never escape. Distant dreams and plans found him once again as he settled into his chair, refusing to pick up the glaring letter addressed to him. His sisters still wrote to him, always asking questions about the war and when he would return home, a soft sigh in the tattered hopes of living a life free of duty.

Erys sat quietly across from him, snuggled up on the couch sifting through reports from the ancient elvhen ruins and artifacts that had been recently found. Her blue eyes gently flitted back and forth as she delved further into her work. Soft sighs of frustration were the only sounds she made as she furrowed her brows, possibly unimpressed by the Inquisition scouts’ reports. It was a treat for Cullen to have her close again, yet work consumed them both and thwarted his plans for now.

With Leiliana and Inquisitor Lavellan away, overseeing the findings of the Deep Roads, the amount of darkspawn that had slowly began to rise to the surface did not go unnoticed for long. Erys knew the Veil was beginning to weaken, and soon the war for Thedas would begin. She glanced over at Cullen, the slight beard that began to show was distracting enough, how she wished she could just toss the reports aside. Yet, no….there was much to be done and time was growing short, the days even began to rise and fall quickly.

****

The afternoon sun brightened up the room, and the ink on the pages began to blur for Cullen, it felt as if a thousand reports had been sifted through today as he lounged on his bed. He looked over to see Erys curled up, blankets held tightly in her arms, angelic and peaceful. She was more than beautiful, finding himself falling further in love with her. Even with the secrets they kept to themselves, the stolen kisses in passing, the lovelorn looks she would give him, and even just the simple sweet smile could make his heart beat faster.

Cullen felt at ease, the lull of the simple silence in the room and the gentle coos of Erys as she rested, he began to feel the call of sleep. His sleep had been disrupted by the nightmares of his past and now the nightmares of someone’s ever watchful eyes keeping tallies on each move he and Erys made.

____

‘You do not know what you hold in your arms is priceless too,’ a low disembodied voice spoke beyond the shadows, ‘Erys will be mine again, she will betray you.’

She lied to you, and yet you still hold out hope…,’ the shadows now forming into Solas with a sullen look upon his face.

Cullen stepped forward, now face to face with him, ‘she is my hope and my light, you left her heart in a grave and now it beats for another. She is not who you make her to be.’

‘I would not trade anything for where I am now…in front of you…Cullen,’ Erys’ voice echoed in Cullen’s mind, reminding him that her love for him was true and forevermore. Her blue eyes shining in the dark, the glow of her outstretched hand as she pulled him back to her.

____

Erys’ eyes flitted open as she heard the restless murmurs from Cullen as he rested. She threw off the blankets and made her way to him, sitting softly at his side and placing her hand gently on his cheek. A simple kiss to his forehead as she rubbed his cheek with her thumb, “wake up love, it’s only a dream.”

Cullen stirred, hearing Erys’ melodic voice as she rubbed his cheek and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. She was always gentle around him, soft spoken and always loving. Her blue eyes shined as she watched him gather himself from his sleep and he felt his heart flutter in his chest. Without thinking and without question he leaned forward, wrapping his hands in her silver hair pulling her into a deep feverish kiss.

“I don’t think I would tire of waking up to you,” Cullen sighed as his lips left Erys’, watching as the flush of her cheeks to the tips of her ears, brightening her fair skin.

Erys smiled softly, returning a small kiss to Cullen’s cheek, “your nightmares have returned?” She sat quietly as she ran her fingers through his tousled golden hair and against the scruff of his beard.

Cullen frowned slightly, “yes, except this time it was not of my past, he, Solas still searches for you.” He did not want to bring it up this way to Erys, he did not want to burden her with her past, not just yet.

“It seems the Dread Wolf wants to stalk his prey in their dreams now,” Erys felt the empty pit in her stomach, “I want nothing to do with that former life, my former self.”

“He found you in yours as well I can see it in your eyes,” Cullen took Erys’ hands in his and pulled her in close, “stay….stay tonight.” He kissed her temple, feeling her arms wrap around him, holding him tightly. That was all the answer he needed, tonight for the first time in a while she would be in his arms.

~

Erys found herself wandering aimlessly around the hold, restless from one of the night terrors that never seemed to end. A small trace of light cast a glow outside of the Commander’s room. It was way past midnight, and yet there he was sifting through the stack of reports. ‘Maker’s breath,’ he cursed loud enough for her to peek into his room, curious about what kept him awake.

The creaking of the door was all it took to catch the ears of the agitated Commander, as Erys leaned a bit too far. Damn her tired feet as she tripped into his room, clutching her robe closer to her body hoping to save herself from a little less embarrassment. “I’m sorry to disturb you Commander,” she spoke, flustered and feeling the heat of embarrassment on her cheeks, “I saw the light from your room, and I didn’t mean to pry but I couldn’t resist.”

Cullen placed the reports on his desk, not sure what to say to the curious elf in front of him. He ruffled his hair letting out a frustrated sigh, “seems I should make sure my door in more secure next time.” Rising from his chair and stepping towards Erys, he watched as her eyes glanced away looking down at the floor, “you couldn’t sleep as well I take it?”

Erys could only nod, still too embarrassed to look the Commander directly in his eyes, not yet. He took the lantern from her hand, forcing her to look at him, and that what when she noticed the gentleness of his amber eyes, the tiredness as well framing his face. The golden locks normally set had a slight wave to them, a slightly less put together Commander was quite becoming to her. “No, Commander, I….,” she was unsure if she should admit the night terrors that haunted her sleep.

“Night terrors,” Cullen asked seeing the unease in her brilliant blue eyes, knowing all too well the same, “I’ve had my share of them as well, but that’s a story for another night.”

Erys was perplexed, the seemingly put together Commander suffered from night terrors like her. It was hard not to control her tongue, to question what brought his. And like tumbling through the door frame, her mouth spilled the curiousness she could not withhold, “did you have one tonight, is that why you are awake?”

There was something about the lull of Erys’ voice that made Cullen feel at ease, “yes, the torment I suffered when I was a templar has never left me, the hold it has on my memories grows stronger the longer I go without lyrium.” He shook his head, betrayed by how relaxed she made him feel, his heart skipped as he noticed her concerned eyes bearing the sadness and shame of his past.

“I was the last surviving templar in the Circle Tower, the torture they put us through has never ceased to haunt me,” Cullen paused looking at the lantern he still held in his hand, her eyes still glued to his and her lips in a firm line, “they sifted through my thoughts using my infatuation with a mage against me, the demons of my past.”

“You are more than the man of your past Commander,” Erys stepped forward placing her hand on top of the one that held her lantern, “whomever you love shoulder never be used against someone.” The Commander looked swiftly down at his hand before returning the timid amber eyes to hers, “for what it’s worth, I see a resilient knight who despite all of his scars, still dares to dream for peace and love in his own world, I hope that one day you have what you deserve.” She smiled up at him, taking back her lantern before turning to go, “good night Commander, I wish you better dreams.”

Cullen watched as Erys turned to go, slowly closing the door behind her, the soft patter of her feet slowly becoming silent. He leaned against the door, knowing somewhere his feelings had shifted, becoming more real as he saw himself in the reflection of her blue eyes, the man she could see beyond the pain. Sleep beckoned him once again and he found himself laying in the bed, his thoughts on her and only her as he closed his eyes.

~

The sunset was breathtakingly beautiful as Erys watched from Cullen’s window, his arms wrapped around her waist, his chin on her shoulder. She enjoyed this time alone with him, where the Commander and companion no longer mattered for a moment. Yes, a moment in time where she wished the world could stand still for the two of them as it did before. The tickle of his beard against her neck brought her back, the only thought, no her only desire at this moment was a lion’s kiss.

There was surprise written all over Cullen’s face when Erys turned quickly in his embrace, her lips searching his for more. Her face was a glow in the sunsets light, there was no mistaking the hold would have gossip on their lips. “Maker,” his lips trailed along her neck, nuzzling softly to her the gentlest moan. The feverish waltz back to his bed was not unnoticeable as the trail of clothing followed behind them.

Erys found herself pinned to Cullen’s bed, there was no mistaking the thrill she felt to be with him. He pressed into her, his hips teasing as he moved against her, a lustful high. Her fingers dragged against his back, her body arching into his at each playful bite along her neck. She loved how she felt with him, how felt being in love and loved by him, he was her world.

Fire coursed through Cullen’s veins as he pulled Erys’ body into his, feeling her tightness against him as he entered, his hips moving in time with hers. Each thrust was met with her fingers digging into his skin, pulling along with the softness of her fingertips, the flurry of sighs and moans quickening in time. He loved the sight of her, each facial expression she made, the fluttering of her eyelashes, the way she looked at him sensually, and yet adoringly.

Cullen’s warm breath, the fire within his amber eyes, and their sweaty bodies colliding against one another was more than enough for Erys tonight. Her desires were more than fulfilled as each thrust quickened, going deeper than before. “Cullen,” she purred breathlessly in his ear, feeling his pace change, her body tensing as if she would give way any moment. “Cullen,” she whispered in his ear, her lips grazing along his neck as she pulled him in closer.

Erys’ sultry voice matched her blue eyes as she whispered in his ear, the fire that ran through his veins, the feeling of her body as she reached the edge of her limits was all Cullen desired. Her release against his, the warmth of her breath as she pulled him in, her lips begging to be kissed as the myriad of moans left her mouth. He was not going to leave those rosy lips unkissed a second longer as his body fell into hers.

Tangled up in one another, Erys found herself falling further and deeper for Cullen. “I love you,” she murmured as she rested her head on his chest. His mouth crashing into hers, drowning her is a soft passionate kiss, “I love you too,” as it fell gently off his lips, the tender brassiness of his voice as he held her tightly in his arms. For a moment longer they could be Cullen and Erys, she mused to herself, free of being the Commander and companion in their own little world, coexisting the best it could within their hearts.  

Chapter 4: Luck

Summary:

Flashbacks and old memories of adventures between Cullen and Erys.
Moments in time and realizations and revelations between the two.

(Catch up on Erys before the Veil in Veiled Distance)
B6-E4-E54-D-4-E9-F-4-A7-B-933-C-2-DD89-ABD397-E

Notes:

~ flashback begins/ends
**** new scene begins/ends
- dream sequence

Chapter Text

~

Erys marveled at the ancient elvhen ruins tucked away in the Emerald Graves, a saddening distant reminder of how much of her former life had been lost to time. She ran her hand against the stone wall looking for a glimpse of the runes that would be left behind. Nothing…..no messages left behind by ancient elvhen that once walked these lands. ‘Mala suledin nadas,’ she whispered to herself, making sure she was out of earshot of those scanning the ruins like her, “now you must endure.”

Cullen kept a close eye on Erys as she wandered around the stone walls leading into the ruins, trailing behind slightly. It had been a few weeks since she had wandered into his room that night, the memory still fresh in his mind. He could remember the feeling of her hand on his as she took back her lantern, the way her blue eyes shined when she had finally looked up at him. This excursion was exactly what he needed, a distraction to hopefully put aside these reoccurring thoughts about her.

“Commander,” Erys swiftly turned to see the Commander lost in thought, still walking a few paces behind her. She stood still waiting, and then there he was still in his own world as he crashed right into her. “You seem quite lost in your thoughts,” she softly chuckled at him after she finally had caught his attention in her own fashion.

It was a snap reflex to wrap his hand around Erys’ arm before she fell forward as Cullen found himself standing face to face with her, her brilliant blue eyes filled with a gentleness. Quickly withdrawing his hand and bringing it to his neck, unsure of how to answer her. “Why…yes, the…,” he stammered his way through, distracted simply by her smile, “the ruins are something I have not seem in this way before.”

A small giggle left Erys’ lips as she watched the Commander stammer and fidget with his hand at his neck. “yes, the ruins are quite something, they are still beautiful despite the wearing of time against them.” She stepped forward taking his hand off of his neck, “it is also nice to enjoy the view and getting to know those in your company despite circumstances of war.”

Erys took one last look at Cullen’s hand as she released it, she turned her back to him as she ventured further into the ruins, turning back once more to smile at him again. It was becoming harder for him to resist and hide the fact that there was some sort of connection between them. To think that months ago when she had stood in front of him, so sure and fiercely beautiful when she requested to join the Inquisition….he would be falling for her. He looked down at his hand and then back to her as she stood waiting for him, a smile still on her face. “Maker,” he whispered to himself as he walked towards her, “guide me in the path you have designed for me and protect her along the way.”

~

The morning sunlight slowly streamed in through the window, casting a warm glow on Erys’ face as she still slept quietly in Cullen’s arms. He mused about the day in the Emerald Graves as if it was yesterday, and even then, she found the simplest of ways to melt the ice that was around his heart. Before her there was only one that he had found attractive and it was made apparent quickly that Inquisitor Lavellan had eyes only for Solas, the elven apostate. Even after Solas’ betrayal four years ago, Lavellan still sought to find him and continued to love him even after all he had done.

Cullen rose quietly and carefully from the bed, making sure not to disturb Erys as he rummaged through his thoughts of those darker days. He looked over to see her still sleeping soundly, murmuring his name as she snuggled into the warm blankets. Just hearing his name being sleepily murmured was heart-warming and made him long for the days when they could be on their own. No longer the Commander and companion, no more Inquisition, no more war, a world where they could be free.

****

Those days long ago before Erys had entered Cullen’s life were filled with despair, rage, and sadness for what had happened within and beyond the walls of Skyhold. The number of spies that had snuck their way in amongst the ranks for both the Qun and Fen’harel was a blow to the shell of what had remained of the Inquisition. Then there was the day Inquisitior Lavellan was swiftly carried back in Blackwall’s arms, her left arm missing below the elbow, the mark that had plagued her for the past six years now gone.

The tears that streamed down Lavellan’s face was a reminder of how fragile everyone and everything around them was. The companions stood silently in the hall outside of her room, waiting for a sign from whomever they believed in. Cullen felt his heart sink further, the anguish written on all of their faces, the darker times were about to begin.

“Her hand no longer hurts. The heartbeat silenced. Hers still beats. Its final verse sung,” Cole stood among them appearing for a time before vanishing, “I’m sorry.”

Cullen turned to look for Cole, the spirit of compassion that had clung closely to Lavellan. Only to see the empty space of where he had stood, or he had imagined he stood. “She needs you,” he thought in the hope Cole could hear his plea. For he had feelings for his Inquisitor that would never be reciprocated, yet even then he wouldn’t wish to see her in this pain.

****

Erys unaware and sleepily reached for Cullen as she woke, finding his side of the bed empty and cold. She quickly rubbed her eyes and saw him sitting at his desk. She reached for his crimson tunic that laid on the edge of the bed, throwing it over her head as she softly crept out of the bed and made her way to him. His black shirt smelt of elderflower and oakmoss, his hair still damp as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind. “Good morning love,” she whispered in his ear before placing a soft kiss on his cheek, “you have that saddened look upon your face.”

It took only one swift motion for Cullen to pull Erys into his lap and embraced her tightly, resting his chin on her shoulder. She was sensitive to his emotions, even when they were at odds each other when she joined, he was always fearful of elven mages spying. Yet at every twist and turn during the first several months she had proven to be a dedicated ally, and a comforting friend even when he didn’t want her. “Just a haunting memory of the betrayal of Solas,” he felt her hands run through his hair and she simply kissed the top of his head, “the moment he stole the anchor from Inquisitor Lavellan and taking her arm as well.”

“You loved her once, I knew it from simply observing you when I joined, your eyes would trail after her with a lovelorn look,” Erys brought Cullen’s eyes back to hers, “she was everything to the Inquisition and to see her cut down like that….it must have been heartbreaking to everyone, especially you.” The pain and sorrow in his eyes were more than she could bear, she knew that one person could take on so much in their lives and he had experienced more than his share. She rubbed the back of his neck, “I know these painful memories are haunting, yet, they shape and make us into who we are designed….or destined to be.” He slowly looked up at her, his amber brown eyes softened as they met hers, “I wish I could have….”

Cullen placed his finger against Erys’ lips, silencing the rest of her sentence knowing how much she would sacrifice for the happiness of others. “I’ve seen enough people sacrifice their freedom or their lives in the hopes of a brighter tomorrow,” he took note of the depth of her blue eyes, the glimmer of hope mixed with regret, “you at one point have done the same and I couldn’t bear to see that again.”

“You deserve a life of your own,” Cullen gently placed a kiss on her lips, “one that I want to see fulfilled.” It was this hope that one day when all of this was over that he could start his life with her, to keep her always by his side, he would allow no harm to come to her. “While I may have loved Lavellan back then, those feelings were not truly for her,” he placed another kiss on her cheek, “the one that love I hold in my arms.”

Erys felt the misting of tears as she buried her head into Cullen’s chest, breathing a sigh of relief that he no longer held onto his old feelings. A part of her had always wondered if he still did long for Lavellan and knowing that is was a part of her past for marring her trust. “I love you,” she whispered into his chest, feeling him wrap his arms around her tighter, “and I love how safe I feel in your arms.”

~

Despite the reasons for being at the elvhen ruins, they held their own magic still as Erys turned the corner delving further inside. The sound of rushing water wasn’t far off in the distance, a river or waterfall perchance she thought. The Commander stood beside her now, “a little further now and you will see a sight I bet you haven’t seen before.” She smiled as she pulled him in the direction of the sounds, lighting the darkened path with a floating magical orb in front of them.

“Isn’t that…dangerous or did you simply forget about the one time you were exploring only to return to camp with light burns on your hands and face,” Cullen stopped remembering the reddish tint on Erys’ face when she returned back to camp and how she tried to mask her own disappointment. Without thinking of the consequences of her still trying to make him move forward despite his refusal,  he without a second thought released her hand only to hear a shocked gasp of surprise as she lost her balance and fell to her knees, “Maker’s breath…..I…..” He was embarrassed as he swiftly bent down to help her back up, “ I……” She pushed back his hand and stood up on her own, sighing while shaking her head.

“Don’t Commander,” Erys sighed as she dusted off her knees, “it was my fault, you question every time I use magic you know?” She watched as the Commander looked apologetically at her, and that was more than enough for her to forgive him. “I might be a mage, but I would never use my magic to harm people I care for or work with,” she looked at him, her stare catching his amber brown eyes, “I thought we had moved past that.” She turned swiftly and continued forward, the sounds of his footsteps following further behind her as he let out a frustrated sigh.

Cullen rubbed his hand against his neck, frustrated with himself yet again, why was he always nervous around Erys. This had happened before when he had found a mage attractive, he ran from her when she stopped to talk to him. Always making a mess of things when it came to liking someone, and he hadn’t expected to fall again. A broken promise to himself to spend the rest of his days with the Inquisition alone, and it seemed the Maker himself had other plans. He stopped to notice the waterfall that echoed in the cavern tucked away within the ruins, watching the awe in Erys’ eyes as she took in the sight.

Erys looked over her shoulder and for the first time she took notice of the way the Commander looked at her. His eyes said everything about he truly felt without saying a word, the first time she had seen him with his guard down. She felt her heart flutter in her chest as she saw the loving look in his amber brown eyes, the hint of light bringing the colors to life. There was no denying that he was handsome, even with all his facial hair….she never thought she would enjoy the company of another, especially a human. And yet, here she was trying to hide the blush on her cheeks from him, hoping he didn’t notice the color rising on her cheeks.

For a moment hidden deep within the ruins time stood still for them. Cullen staring at Erys, dreaming of what he should say, yet too afraid to open his mouth. And her, fighting her own self in the revelation that now her heart was slowly falling for another, one who she felt saw her as she is.

~

Cullen thought about the day in the ruins as he walked alongside Erys, taking her to a place beyond the hold where they could be away if just for a moment. A little further and the simple lake hidden off in the woods would be before them. Moonlight made the path easier to find, yet it brought out the shimmer of silver in her hair and the slight silver tint in her blue eyes. A voice from his past whispered at his ear as he fell captive to her beauty once again.

“Gentle and fierce, compassionate and loving. She is freer now, safer when you are near.”

Erys quickly placed a kiss on Cullen’s cheek before darting off towards the lake, listening for the sound of his steps as he began to chase after her. She waited for him at the edge of the lake, feeling his arms pick her up swiftly as he cradled her in his arms. “Took you long enough,” she giggled sweetly as she kissed him before he set her back on her feet. He made her feel alive again, his love for her was unique and fierce, and the safety he provided from her own darkness kept her steadfast.

“This lake brings me back to before I had joined the Templars,” Cullen wrapped his arms around Erys, resting his chin on her shoulder, “my brother had given me a coin for luck, even though as a Templar we are to rely on our faith to see us through.” He released her from their embrace and pulled the coin out of his pocket, “I would like you to have it.”

Erys marveled at the coin in her hand before looking back up at Cullen, “I….thank you.” It was moments like this where he could leave her tongue tied and unable to express what she felt. She remembered the times he had been standoffish to her and now there he was, a different man who had let his walls down around her. Someone who thought of her when she wasn’t around and deeply cared for her. This love was everything she had desired long ago, and mistakenly then it had cost her everything she once knew.

Cullen wrapped his hand around the one that held the coin, pressing his palm against Erys’ before placing a kiss on her lips. Erys let herself sink into his embrace, enjoying how he looked in the moonlight, his amber brown eyes focused only on her as they swayed to the silence around them. The coldness of the coin no longer mattered between the warmth of their hands, a symbol of luck that had brought him to where he was now. A treasure to her, a token of the luck that had been gifted to her when she had found herself in a world that was no longer her own. A symbol of the simplicity they desired in their own world, their love, and their hopes for the future.

Chapter 5: My Heart's Grave *UPDATED*

Summary:

On the verge of spring returning to Thedas and the trials that come with budding love and romance....
Erys brings her past and lays it out for Cullen, the one she loves and who loves her.
The risks of making her pain, trials, and who she is --- will he stay or walk away?
55-C7-D8-D9-3-DF9-4001-939-E-DB2-AE2-EC2604

Notes:

~ beginning/ending of a flashback
***** - beginning/ending of a new section or theme

- beginning/ending of a dream sequence

*** beginning/ending of inner dialogue

For more about Erys

Veiled Distance - Solas romance before the Veil (work in progress on hiatus)

The Musings of the Lion & the Wolf - stories of Cullen and Erys that do not fit completely into the story line.

Chapter Text

***

‘Ar lath ma, vhenan,’ those words no longer held the same meaning or beauty they once had to Erys as she sat on the edge of the pier, her feet dangling right above the water. Her heart had been shattered into pieces long ago and no matter how much she tried to place them gently back together, the edges were sharp and ill fitted now. She hadn’t forgotten the frustration and anger she felt as Solas walked away or the emptiness and brokenness that consumed her as he vanished from her view.

‘Where once I drew from is distorted by the Veil, when I once had walked among those in our once Golden City.’ Only once she awakened did she remember her life had never truly been her own as she looked down at her distorted reflection. ‘Taking my first breath as Erys, relinquishing my hand as a would-be goddess to stand as one of the elves.’

“I am no longer that version of me,” she whispered to herself, “ I have changed….I have dug myself out of that grave your prideful heart had set for me, I have been reborn, made anew.”

The breeze was welcoming as the scent of elderflower and oakmoss grew closer, enveloping her as if Cullen were holding her. She twirled the blue larkspur in her hands, looking closely at each delicate petal, he was the one who made her heart beat again even with the cracks and bruises that felt fresh.

***

~

Always a prideful sort when it came to himself, haughty and ill-timed in his plans as of late and she was in the way. The rift had been sewn between her and her Vhenan when the forgotten memories began to resurface. The loss of herself when she had begun to remember. The path he had set them on was no longer one of redemption, but one of ill sought pride. She could no longer accept the path he had chosen to walk. She could no longer stand by his side knowing that soon what she had feared would be realized.

“You will have blood on your hands Solas, the guilt and shame of your pride will be the undoing of our people,” Erys hissed at him, her fingertips glowing bright white in her rage, “ what pride has wrought will never flourish and will end in the despair, the tides you will shift to save will drown and flood the world.” It took all of her strength to not lash out, to not lose control, as she turned her back….running as fast as her feet could carry her, the hot tears streaming down her face.

*****

Solas stood, grim faced as he watched Erys run from him, he held the broken necklace she had gifted him long ago in his right hand. He still loved her, he still cared for her and yet every time he wished to apologize or mend the rift between them it ended in anguish. There was no taking back what he had done to her, there was nothing in his own power that he could do to even forgive himself, for his pride faltered what mattered the most once. She loved him and could see through every disguise, every hidden meaning behind his words….yet she tried every time to get him to see that his solution to saving ‘his people’ would end in tragedy.

There was no turning back, there was no point of return….he knew that it must be done and hope that what Erys had foreseen was wrong. He had pushed her to the brink of despair and the way she looked at him in passing…her blue eyes full of fear and worry, not for her….but for him. She could openly deny that she still loved him, he had tarnished the purity of her belief in him being her refuge, he had lost.

“Ir abelas I’m sorry,” he whispered to himself, knowing the one who needed to hear those words would no longer return to him by choice. He knotted the broken leather cord around the jawbone and placed it around his neck, looking solemnly at it, “you are free.”

*****

~

Cullen wrapped his arms around Erys’ shoulders as he tried to be as stealthy as possible to surprise her, only to see her turn and smile up at him the minute he stepped foot on the pier, welcoming his embrace. “You were lost in thought,” he kissed her temple, feeling her wrap her arms around him tightly, “what were you thinking of?” He felt her shift in his arms to look up at him, he could see it in her blue eyes that she was thinking of her past again, “you do not have to share everything if you are unwilling, but I am here when you are ready.” 

Erys smiled and kissed Cullen on the cheek, “you have been more than understanding and patient on why I was not ready to share my past completely with you the past few months.” His amber eyes were always gentle and warm, his kisses were sweet and fierce, and his words were never perfect, but he always meant well even when he couldn’t express it properly. “You,” she placed her hand on his cheek, “you saw me as who I am and can be, you deserve to know who I truly am. But not here.”

Cullen helped Erys back to her feet, wrapping his fingers in hers as they walked the path back to the hold. It was days like today where he enjoyed not having to don his typical uniform, no darkened leather gloves, no armor, just the simplicity of red shirt, leather pants, and as requested by Erys his fur mantle and vest. He thought back to the day when she had fallen asleep on his bed wrapped in his fur mantle, waiting for him to return from the war table discussion. “I think this looks better on you,” he took off his fur mantle and placed it on her shoulders, earning the most gleaming smile and excited blue eyes she had given him today.

~

Erys stared at the Commander as he paced in front of the war table, marking the sites of elven ruins that had been found as well as the Eluvians that possibly could be used by Fen’harel and his agents. It had been a few days since they had returned from exploring the ruins in the Emerald Graves and since their stolen glances in the ruins, not one of them dared to speak. She knew if she spoke what was on her mind, it would mean for certain she had allowed herself to fall for Commander Cullen, a promise that she had broken.

“Erys,” Cullen spoke, catching her lost in thought as she kept her eyes on the map. He wanted her attention, yet he was unsure how without making it obvious he began to favor her after so long. There was a silence until Cassandra tapped Erys’ shoulder, bringing her back from whatever thoughts she had gotten lost in.

“Oh, yes….” Erys looked up from the map, making sure to keep her eyes off the Commander, “while the ruins bear the markings of the ancient elvhen, there is nothing tying it to Fen’harel or his agents.” It was hard to think and keep her demeanor when he was around, especially around the others. She had joined only to stop Solas from destroying Thedas and allowing both the Forgotten and Forbidden to walk among them again, she shuddered at the thought. “That’s all I have to report Inquisitor…,” she tried to finish her sentence only to be cut off.

“Inquisitor Idryl, we’ve gone over this several times,” Idryl spoke harshly, her green eyes glaring at Erys, “you’ve been a part of the Inquisition for some time now and you have yet to utter my real name. I would prefer it if you would call me Inquisitor or Idryl.” With her thick black hair and emerald green eyes, she was a natural beauty and fearsome when angered. Even as a child, she had a hard time controlling her temper and now with the loss of Solas, the one who knew how to calm the fire, she was slowly spiraling.

“I apologize Inquisitor,” Erys spoke softly, calmly refusing to have Idryl’s rage turn on her, “I don’t want to offend and I know I haven’t been with the Inquisition as long as the others, but I’m trying to help you.” She stormed off, leaving the war room in a huff… she was not going to be made a target of someone’s rage. Living with all the secrets she withheld from everyone was slowly beginning to wear on her, it was exhausting, but it was always safer.

Would they brand her a spy for Fen’harel if they knew she was one of the ancient elvhen?

Would the Commander love someone like her, knowing that she had once loved their former friend and companion that had betrayed them?

“Erys,” Cullen grabbed at Erys’ arm before she completely stormed out of the hold, and in the moment she turned to face him, he saw the sadness in her eyes. It took every part of his control to not wrap his arms around her and comfort her, she had been trying for months to be on Inquisitor Idryl’s ‘good side’ and always there was a bitterness between them. “Idryl can be hot headed at times, I know,” he moved his hand to her shoulder, “yet you have brought so much to the Inquisition that hasn’t gone unnoticed, at least by me, do not let her get to you.”

Erys looked at the Commander, “thank you Commander, I know the Inquisitor means well, but one day she is going to lose whatever control she still has.” She remembered her own fury when Solas had chosen his pride over her love, yet she couldn’t bring herself to harm another with her power or her words. “But do know that her current temper is gossiped about beyond our hold, I will not be a target of her anger again, or I will leave”

Cullen released Erys’ shoulder from his grasp as he watched her resolve grow in her blue eyes, “If I can make one request of you Erys?”

“What is it Commander,” Erys stared at him curiously, his amber eyes holding the same look as that day in the ruins.

“If you would rather not be in the war room with the Inquisitor, would you help me with the reports instead,” Cullen asked and waited patiently for Erys’ reply as he could see her thinking about what he had requested, “if not… I am not…sure if there is another way.”

Erys smiled, feeling the flutter in her chest again, knowing the Commander did care for her, “I like that idea better, I am not one for the war room discussions, and I think helping with reports might be better suited for me.” She smiled up at him one last time, noticing the happiness her answer had given him, “I’ll see you tomorrow Commander for my share in the reports.”

Cullen watched as Erys turned to leave, no longer heading out of the hold but back to the hall that shared their rooms. Erys turned at the top of the stairs, noticing that he had been watching her until their eyes met. He blushed and placed his hand on his neck, slightly embarrassed that he had been caught, but he secretly wanted her to notice. She giggled to herself, no longer afraid of the flutter in her chest, or the pain of her broken heart, she wanted to stay by the Commander’s side so long as he wanted her to be his.

~

Cullen’s room was always the safest place for them to talk when the Inquisitor was away… which lately was a relief to both of them. Idryl had grown increasingly agitated and the entire group of advisors and current companions thought it wise for her to get away. Vivienne had arranged for a spa day somewhere in Orlais, where neither Cullen nor Erys really cared to remember. Cassandra had taken leave with Leiliana to check on some reports that Blackwall had sent about darkspawn activity near the dwarven ruins in Ferelden.

Erys still wearing Cullen’s fur mantle leaned her back against his chest as they sat on his bed. “Now that we are alone, I will tell you about who I am and my past until joining the Inquisition.” She wrapped her fingers with his and stroked the side of his hand with her thumb, drawing up the courage to share all that remained of her. “I was born in Arlathan, the city of the elves, it was magnificent and golden as the tales told from those who are descendants of our kind,” she paused, waiting for a sign to continue, feeling him gently squeeze her hand to reassure her it was okay.

“Those of us who were gifted as strong mages in our youth were recruited or enslaved to serve one of the Evanuris, I was fortunate that I was kept hidden from them by my Keeper Zurvan ,” Erys shivered as she recalled the painful days that existed after her childhood . “ I was kept out of sight in fear of what the Evanuris would do. Zurvan was much like a father to me when I took my physical form. The Evanuris waged wars and held grand schemes of celebrations.” Erys paused allowing the silence between them to grow before continuing. “Elgarnan had caught sight of me at one of the celebrations and Mythal was not pleased, and in her own dark schemes she set her sights on my life .” She felt the tears against her lashes, remembering the torture she endured for what felt like an eternity, and for once she allowed herself to cry about it.

Cullen felt Erys tears fall onto his hand, he pulled her into him and tilted her head to kiss each tear away, “if you need to stop, you can.” He felt her press a finger gently against his lips and shook her head, before taking in a deep breath and returning her blue eyes back to his.

Mythal’s plan did happen and I was captured. I remember the chains. I remember the exhaustion I felt trying to escape and each time being thrown into her hell ,” Erys continued despite the shakiness of her voice, “ I do not remember how I escaped. Or how I came to be wounded still. Those memories are still hazy and I know if I had not been found…. I wouldn’t be here with you .”

“When I had awoken, I didn’t recall where I was or even who I was and the stranger that had healed me was Solas,” Erys saw the slight pain in Cullen’s eyes as she mentioned that name, “he was the one who saved me when I was on the edge of death.” She placed her hand softly on his face and placed a gentle yet passionate kiss on his lips, “that was long ago, and my heart does not feel the same for him anymore, I love you and only you Cullen.”

Cullen kissed her tenderly and wrapped his arms around Erys and held her as she continued to speak of her past. “I lived with him at Skyhold, I know the Inquisition used to be housed there after the fall of Haven, and for a while Solas and I were happy, and I was able to use my magic again. I was able to live as a new person until the day we visited Mythal and from there everything began to rip at the seams.

“Mythal was intrigued by the whispers of a woman living alongside her friend” Erys ran her fingers through the fur on the mantle taking in a steady breath before speaking again. “Maybe it was pity or motherly affection for me, but I know now, her intentions were of deceit .” She shook her head remembering the brokenness she had felt upon the return to Skyhold from that meeting.

“Solas and I did not agree when it came to freeing the elvhen people of their chains, his path would wipe out the centuries of our culture ” Erys snuggled into Cullen’s chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat, reminding her of how much she had gained since then.

“Everything became tense and strained, you probably could have seen sparks flying anytime we glanced at each other,” she sighed and took in the warmth of his embrace, “Solas became prideful and desperate to ‘save our people, I sought to stop him and failed.”

Cullen waited for Erys to continue, feeling her tears soak through his shirt, “you’ve shared enough….” And once again he felt her delicate finger against his lips.

“Not yet love,” Erys looked up at Cullen and wiped the tears from her face, “ there was one last battle that ensued before I fell into a deep slumber, I was the one who destroyed what remained of Mythal’s physical form.

My body could not handle the depletion of magic and I recall very little after that ,” Erys paused remembering the sadness she felt in setting Solas further down his path . “From my dreams in the Fade I had seen when he found Mythal dead at the hands of someone more powerful than her -- and in his grieving he turned to his last prideful and treacherous act, bringing both the Forbidden and Forgotten ones together and sealing them away behind the Veil, the place where Skyhold stands.”

Erys slowly pulled herself out of Cullen’s embrace to be met with his warm and understanding amber eyes, and his arms still waiting for her to be held once again. She gently took the fur mantle from her shoulders and placed it on her lap, feeling the soft fur between her fingers, “Abelas, one of Mythal’s most trusted Sentinels, and a spy to my cause was there when I had awakened from my slumber three years ago, but unlike Solas who had lost most of his power during his slumber….I had kept all of my abilities.”

“Solas has made it clear that he still wishes to undo the devastation he brought to the elves and rid the world of the Veil. I will not see the world I have come to know and the people I love killed in whatever lies ahead of us.” Erys still held onto that part of herself, the strength and resolve she felt to protect what she held dear. Cullen had given her that hope and love, that protection and faith that she had lost.

Cullen waited a moment before speaking, allowing Erys to take a moment to breathe, “you have gone through so much and yet here I am left in awe by your strength to persevere.” He tilted her chin up, looking deeply into her brilliant blue eyes, “I love you Erys and I am not going anywhere. You have me as long as you wish for me to be by your side.” He placed a soft gentle kiss on her lips, feeling her wrap her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

“I love you,” Erys whispered in Cullen’s ear, “I love the way you still love me, even with my past and how you continue to stay by my side.” She nuzzled her head against his neck, feeling him wrap his fingers in her hair before kissing her once again, a kiss that made her lips part as he pulled on her lower lip. It wasn’t long before she felt the softness of the covers against her back and his weight on top of her.

Cullen cherished every part of Erys from the way she thought, to the way she spoke, and most definitely in the way she loved him unconditionally and strongly. He kissed her fiercely, remembering their first kiss at the inn, the first time he made love to her and how she shared what she could with him. Erys wrapped her fingers in his golden hair, thankful for the day this golden boy became more than that to her, the man who continued to walk by her side and love her as she had dared to dream of. Tonight, there would no longer be walls between them, there was no more secrets or questions, they could love purely and freely. This was the beginning of what they both desired and longed for, the lion and the wolf together as one.



Chapter 6: Crimson and Black Lace

Summary:

NFSW!!!!!!!!!

The love and admiration that Cullen and Erys hold for each other reaches another moment in their relationship. The quietness and stolen moments they have been afforded before the war truly begins now is drawing to a close.

Notes:

~ - flashback begins/ends

***** - scene begins/ends

*** - inner thoughts

Chapter Text

~

Covered in dust the wooden chest that had been tucked away until now sat on Cullen’s desk, a garish reminder of his days as a Templar. Inside would be none other than the tools to administer the lyrium back into his body. ‘I should be taking it,’ he thought to himself as he slowly opened the lid revealing the untouched items inside. ‘I should…no I shouldn’t.’ He let out a frustrated sigh, placing his head between his hands – the withdrawals were becoming harder to fight and the nightmares more frequent. The chest taunted him as it sat open on his desk, his amber eyes staring harshly at the painful reminder of his past, the one he could never be rid of completely. He picked up the chest, holding it for just a moment before throwing it in rage at the wall across from him.  

“Commander…,” Erys stood frozen in the door frame as whatever he had thrown angrily hit the wall. Her eyes wide open watching the items fall to the floor noticing the vial of lyrium rolling to her feet. She bent down and slowly put the items back into the chest, closing the lid before treading carefully to his desk. “Commander,” she paused as she placed the chest down, “you should rest, you look beyond frustrated and tired, are your nightmares keeping you awake?””

Cullen waited a moment before bringing his eyes to face Erys, her brilliant blue eyes filled with a genuine concern. “I….yes,” he brought his hand to his neck, nervous and ashamed, “the withdrawals and nightmares are worse the longer – the longer I go without lyrium.” He felt weak all over, the toll of quitting his former life was never going to be easy…but this was the hardest battle he would ever personally face.

Erys without a second thought placed her hand lightly on his cuirass, feeling the coolness of it against her fingertips.  His amber eyes didn’t hold the same warmth that she had come to know as he finally looked up at her. “Go rest Commander,” she motioned to his bed, “you have done more than enough today…I’ll take care of the remaining reports.” She helped him walk to his bed, even with his arm draped lightly against her shoulder, she could still feel the weight of the burdens he faced alone.

*****

~

Clothing strewn along the wooden floor making a sea of crimson and black lace, the soft sounds of hushed whispers and murmurs filling the silence in the bed chamber. The troubles of the world around them ceased to exist as Cullen ran his fingers tenderly through Erys’ long silver hair, placing several gentle kisses along her jaw before returning to her rosy lips. Her lips parted beneath his allowing his tongue to enter her mouth deepening their kiss. He silently thanked the Maker for the woman he held gently in his arms, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. In his thirty-eight years he had never imagined finding a love as fierce as this. A love that could prove to him over-and-over again that he deserved to be loved as fiercely as he wished.

Erys slowly pulled away breaking from their kiss, shifting slightly to hover over Cullen. She gently placed her hand on his cheek lightly running her thumb against it, his amber eyes warm and filled with desire. He was a different man than the one she had first met he was rough around the edges yet gentle. In her eyes, he could do no wrong and even when they had a misunderstanding, he still stood at her side.

‘Safe and solid, protecting and proud. He feels like quiet, stronger when you hold him.’

These thoughts echoed in the silence between them as Cullen pulled Erys back to him, his lips teasing against hers before he pressed his lips against hers tenderly. He wrapped his fingers once again in her silver hair, his tongue exploring her mouth as he rolled, pinning her beneath him on the bed. She moaned softly against his lips as his weight pressed into hers, his hips moving slowly in time with hers. There was no doubt in his mind that tonight was everything and more than they had shared before.

The warmth of Cullen’s breath against Erys’ neck made her shiver as he murmured in her ear, feeling his teeth against her neck, grazing gently against it as one of his hand softly traveled down her side. His lips left tiny kisses along her neck and down to her chest, stopping for a moment as he unlaced her brassiere before swiftly tossing it aside. Biting back a moan as he tenderly kissed each inch of her torso before running his hand further down stopping at her waist while she laced her fingers in his golden hair.

Cullen could no longer ignore the desire, the wanting, the need to make love to Erys as he stilled himself at her center. She whispered in his ear, seductive in tone as if her voice was pure silk and in that tiny moment, he pressed his hips into her entering her core. A meek whimper from her against his lips as he set a slow and steady pace with each thrust, making the fire in his veins burn hotter than before. Her delicate fingertips pressed into his back pressing his body deeper into her, the gentlest of moans that breaking through their deepened kisses.

Erys trembled from the high as each rolling wave of ecstasy filled her veins from each of Cullen’s movements. His hot and humid against her ear, taking her back to the night they first made love. The tingling throughout her body was growing stronger, her breathing wild and free as he moved deeper and faster at her core. “Cullen,” she murmured breathlessly in his ear as she slowly placed kisses along his jaw making her way back to his lips.

Each movement Cullen made deepened his need for release holding on for as long as he could. Erys’ body trembled beneath him, her breathing erratic and hot as the velvety sounds of sighs and moans vibrated against his lips. He felt his own release against hers, the weakness in his arms growing as he slowly left her center. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear as he pulled her into his chest, feeling her breath against it.

The sound of rain gently tapping against the windowpane was music all of its own. A simplistic beauty that could not have had a more perfect timing as Erys hummed a melodic tune. Cullen was left in silent awe as she hummed, a tune that reminded him of his home. He ran his fingers through her silver hair, listening to her hum until she fallen asleep. A simple goodnight kiss on her forehead before he blew out the lantern by the side of his bed. What would await them in a short while would make them long for these moments again.

~

Erys sat resting her back against the headboard of the bed, watching the snow drift slowly outside the window. The inn was quiet except the shifting of the guests and the crackling of the fire burning brightly in the hearth next to them. She glanced at Cullen who was sleeping peacefully on his side, his hand still holding tightly onto hers. It was hard to fathom for a moment how all it took was just one trip alone together for them to openly admit how they felt.

In her wildest dreams, Erys had never seen herself falling in love with another man after the way things ended with Solas. Cullen was different to her, there was a warmth – no…maybe it was hope that she had forgotten herself. He was always well spoken except for the times he would get tongue-tied and adorably awkward. She giggled softly to herself refusing to wake him from his slumber, and even then, it was that same adorableness that drew her to him. If anyone could be trusted with the secrets she kept about, somewhere deep within her heart she knew it could and would only be with him.

Erys moved slowly sinking back into the covers, snuggling into Cullen’s chest once more as the tiredness she had been fighting started to take over. She kissed the back of his hand, squeezing it softly making sure that this was real. Closing her eyes slowly as he pulled her into his chest feeling his other arm wrap around her as she listened to his heart beating steadily in his chest. He sleepily kissed her forehead, then her lips – the first of many goodnight kisses that would send her off to sleep.

~

*****

“Good morning love,” Cullen whispered to Erys as he placed a small kiss on the tip of her ear. She sleepily sighed, her eyes slowly fluttering open adjusting to the sunlight’s glow. He smiled an kissed her one last time before slowly rising from the bed, “as much as I wish we could waste the day away, we better pack for our trip to Honnleath.” Maybe it was the excitement of getting away from the hold for awhile or finally introducing her to his family, but he couldn’t wait to set out.”

Erys stretched and made quick work of preparing for the day, a quick bath and to pack her things as Cullen went to check the horses. It was silent in his room as she finished gathering the rest of her belongings, wrapping her fingers around the silver pendant she wore around her neck. Taking a moment to breathe and gather her own nerves before they set out. This was new and exciting for her, and at the same time the anxiousness she felt about meeting his family was an experience she never had.

“You shouldn’t stress over them,” Cullen wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck, “they’ll love you and they probably will spend more time fussing over me.”

Erys sighed and turned in Cullen’s arms, placing her hands against his cuirass, “they may fuss over you, but here you are bringing home an elf and on top of that a mage.” She fretted over if his family would not welcome such a person into their home. “Your world has changed so much for my kind, and even just mages alone,” she paused drawing her eyes away from his, “while you love me and have accepted my past, your family may not.”

Cullen looked at Erys for a moment before speaking, searching for the words to calm her nerves. “My family is not like those who speak ill or would do ill to you,” he brought his hand under her chin bringing her timid blue eyes back to his, “you have my word that they will fall in love with you, it may be slowly.” He chuckled to himself, drawing a puzzled look from her, “my sisters, however, will probably be whisking you away as soon as they see you.”

“My siblings and I grew up in a small village, with a lake not far away just like here,” Cullen placed a kiss on Erys’ forehead, “they’ll be curious and probably more shocked that I’ve brought someone home.” He smiled and watched as she softly smiled back, hoping his words had found some placed in her mind. “We didn’t have much,” he thought back to his younger days, “and even when it came to my desire to be a Templar, they picked on me for a time – until they noticed that I would stop at nothing to be one.”

Erys smiled and wrapped her fingers around Cullen’s fur mantle, “and yet you are the second oldest, who gets teased by all of his siblings.” She giggled and let out a soft sight, “I know Mia still writes to you from the stack of letters on your desk.”

“Yes, Mia…” Cullen wrapped Erys in his arms, placing another gentle kiss on her forehead, “Mia was the first to support my dreams to be a Templar and rallied my two other siblings to help me train. I left home with my parents’ permission at thirteen and I haven’t been back home since.” He had distanced himself so much from his home and his family, it was hard to believe that for just a moment he could be with them before the war truly began.

“Seems like both of us have been away from home for quite a while,” Erys placed a soft kiss on Cullen’s neck where she could reach, “yet I know now, wherever you are – you are home. You are where I want to be, and I hope that once this war is over and Thedas is safe….we can build a home all our own.”

It was that sliver of hope. That glimmer of daylight breaking through the clouds after a rainstorm that everything would turn out for the better. Erys knew that she would fight to come back to Cullen no matter where this war would take her. She wanted a future, she wanted everything life could offer them for the rest of their forever. Cullen took Erys’ left hand and placed a soft kiss on her ring finger, knowing that soon the silver knotted band he had hidden away would grace her delicate hand.

“I will love you always,” Cullen whispered in Erys’ ear before placing a kiss on her cheek.

“I will love you forever,” Erys smiled, her blue eyes shining brightly, as she felt Cullen leave a trail of kisses down her cheek before pausing at her lips.

The adoration and warmth they both held for one another was more than either of them thought they would ever have. Cullen leaned in and placed a tender kiss on Erys’ lips as her arms wrapped around his neck. For a moment longer before their journey to Honnleath would begin, the world could wait. These days with crimson and black lace with the carefreeness they had afforded would slowly drift away once they returned.

Chapter 7: Honnleath

Summary:

--Erys' inner thoughts

~ flashback begins/ends

***** new scene begins/ends

Awakenings for Erys and a return to Honnleath for Cullen.
Full of hopes, sadness, despair, and healing.

Chapter Text

__

‘I could feel the heaviness return to my body. What once was separated, now as one. Bright and burning, the light called to me, whispering my name. I could feel the cold stone underneath my warm fingertips. The hitch of my breath as the air filled my lungs. All that was and who stood surrounding me, were a cascade of blurred glimmers as my eyes focused. I have awakened, I have seen the falling and rise of many. Of all my warnings, you still did not heed what pride had wrought.’

__

Dull and darkened the Eluvian that remained was locked, Erys’ last secret that had been kept hidden by her own devices. The Veil had not weakened her, yet she could feel the dying magic that once touched all who existed before.  ‘The ruins that once held so much life, energy now removed. Our pathways disjointed and decayed. Our former homes in ruin, our language fragments of what once was.’ Her thoughts echoed the ruin that had taken the abandoned Temple of Mythal. What she knew was gone, and there was only one elvhen who could bring this unfamiliar world to being.

Erys knew the whispers from the spirits trapped within the Fade were true. Solas had awakened before her, his powers weakened by the rising of the Veil. This new knowledge offered no comfort as he reclaimed his role as Fen’harel, the lone wolf whose own wisdom was marred by pride. She found herself listening, drawn to the lingering whispers that once brought enchantment to the well, centuries of knowledge now gone and withheld within another’s mind.

Abelas watched, his golden eyes narrowed on Erys who had barely awakened. Her bright blue eyes had caught his attention as she sat up slowly surveying her surroundings. “Da’fen, the Little Wolf who had up until your slumber wished only to protect our people,” he knelt by her side, “our world has shifted beyond what remains in these temple walls.” He was devout in everything he could share with her, knowing now the Veil did hinder her foresight.

Erys smiled softly, gently placing her hand on Abelas’ shoulder, “if it were not for you, I would have never been kept safely these passing centuries.” She rose, “there is no reason for you to stay kneeled before me, I do not wish to see any of us kneel before one another.” He would always remain true to being a Sentinel, even with the passing of time. “Go to Fen’harel, for the Temple of Mythal no longer needs it’s Sentinels, that which needs guarding no longer desires such. This goodbye is only temporary until I rejoin you, I must prepare a way to restore what has been lost and keep this world intact.”

Abelas stood before Erys, towering over her petite frame as he had before, “dareth shiral, safe journey to you.” He turned exiting the sanctuary that had held her for the last time, looking back to see a bright light wrap itself around her. He smirked, hidden beneath his hood, not even in her slumber would time take away her gifts. ‘The would-be gods will tremble at your feet and the forbidden ones will bow, you are the only one who can restore our people and save this world.’ His thoughts echoing into the silence that surrounded him as he knew what would come next.

‘Fen’harel, I hope you have prepared yourself for what is to come. You have deceived those that follow you still, those who believe that you are not without blame. All that we had, all that our people had built is now lost.’ Erys looked at her left hand, the ring that he had once given her held no sentiment now. Swiftly removing it from her finger and placing it on the stone bed where she had slept, ‘no more will I pray and hope for you to return, to be the man I thought you to be. The spirit of wisdom that you once spoke of now is a demon of pride. Oh Solas, dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar sola sena mar din.’ (I know you, trickster. That was no victory. Your pride will be your death.)

~

Erys slinked quietly into Cullen’s bed, risking being caught by his siblings was well worth it. She nuzzled her head into his chest, his arms wrapping around her pressing her closer. A soft kiss on the top of her head and a sleepy chuckle was all the comfort she needed. Soon these moments would be no more, the task that she had been given would take all that she possessed.

“And to what do I owe this pleasure,” Cullen whispered sleepily in Erys’ ear, watching as she shifted rising from the shadows leaning over him, her silver hair falling to his chest.

With a simple thought Erys lit the candle on the nightstand, burning vibrantly enough casting away some of the darkness. “Sleeping alone brings me no comfort and knowing soon…I’ll be further away from you saddens me.” She felt the somberness in her voice as the words left her, Cullen’s amber eyes softening as he placed a hand on her cheek.

Cullen sat up, pulling Erys into his chest, knowing his comforts would help so little. It had been discussed and ordered that one of the Inquisition were to scout and find the Dread Wolf’s lair. None, not a single elven mage or elven spy offered to willingly walk into Solas’ clutches. And then it fell to the last person they could trust, and by her own choice – the little silver wolf of the Inquisition would take this task. “This has been weighing heavily on your mind, and if you want….”

A soft press of Erys’ fingertip against Cullen’s lips silenced the remaining thought. “There are many things that I wish for, yet at this moment all I want is to be held. I don’t want to fall asleep alone again.”

In the silence of the Rutherford home, Cullen held onto Erys tightly, stroking her silver hair. Warm tears soaking through to his skin as she slowly came undone. She never lied or withheld the truth from him, always open and honest since that day they chose each other. He was going to make true to his promises, true to the dreams that she had confided in him one night in their tent. Her hopes of living life peacefully at his side, the hopes of having a family of her own. To spend the rest of her life forever at his side and only by his side.

~

“None of our spies have been able to track any of Fen’harel’s agents Inquisitor,” Leliana remained collected as usual as she waited. For each step that her spies moved forward within the network, the farther behind they truly were. The Qun would shortly be on Tevinter’s doorsteps if all the resources were focused on one mission alone. “Do you think it would be best to turn our agents’ eyes towards the Qun? Our time is dwindling before a war begins, Inquisitor, we need to make a rational decision.”

Erys sat quietly for a moment, looking at the Inquisitor from the corner of her eye. It was quite apparent the frustration and brokenness that Idryl had faced over the past four years. “Inquisitor Idryl, if I may,” she stood as she spoke, “Fen’harel knows all of your thoughts before you make them, what you want and what he desires will never align for either party.” She paused, taking a deep breath before locking eyes with her, “We need to focus our eyes on Tevinter and protect them as well, the Qun is a fearsome army alone,” she walked over to Cullen’s side staring at the map, “all of those who border them will be in peril if Tevinter falls, including us.”

All eyes focused on Erys, bringing Cullen’s curious amber eyes to hers. He knew enough about her to trust her opinions on such matters, yet this was a different side to her. She commanded their attention and without forcing anyone’s hand to listen. Her words rang true, the Inquisition had focused too long on just seeking out someone who wished to not be found. He was in awe of the woman who stood before them. And - if she were to lead anyone into battle, he would follow without question.

“Inquisitor Idryl,” Erys spoke firm and precise, “turn your eyes and the Inquisition to Tevinter, aid them as Dorian had requested once again. Would you turn down a former companion and I would assume a friend at some point?” She paused watching as Idryl turned her eyes down to the map before her, the stack of letters from her former companion, and back. “Solas has hurt you and he alone threatens everything we hold dear in Thedas if he succeeds, you are well aware that the path he walks you physically cannot go. Yet, I offer a solution when you are ready.”

~

Cullen watched from afar as Erys braided Rosalie’s long, curly hair in a fashion that he had not seen before. Watching his youngest sister smile and allow someone who was not Mia mess with her hair. Erys smiled brightly as she looked over at him, talking to Rosalie as she sat before her. The intricate braids more elven than that of Ferelden brought out the features of Rosalie’s face.

It had been far too long since Cullen had been anywhere near Honnleath and seeing his siblings once again reminded him of how much he had sacrificed. He had left home at the age of thirteen, lost his parents during the Blight, and suffered at the hands of Uldred and his own lyrium addictions. Yet, even knowing all that he had sacrificed and suffered, if it would bring him to Erys, he would do it all again.

“You’re quite smitten with Erys,” Mia smiled as she spoke, watching her sister smile, “it’s hard to believe that you of all people actually brought her home with you.” Her brother had always possessed a determination when it came to proving himself. From his younger days, begging his siblings to help him train to be a Templar, his desire to protect people had always been his strong suit. And yet, here he stood, watching the woman he loved braiding their sister’s hair. “You’ve changed little brother, and the man I see in front of me, I never thought would walk through that door after all the hell you’ve been through.”

Cullen pursed his lips for a moment, it was true, everything Mia had said was true. He has tried in many ways to keep his family at arm’s length, refusing to let them see the shell of what he once was. “Erys has a way with that, she of all people refuses to just walk away.” He chuckled thinking back to their first meeting, to his daring to kiss her, and loving her fully with his own life. “I’ve seen the worst of both the Mages and Templars, the depths of hell in my own nightmares trying to distance myself from my past, and like everything she is, she is peace. She has comforted me in my darkest moments and brought a light into my life that I never knew I needed.”

Mia could see her brother’s eyes light up when he spoke about Erys, the admiration for the elven woman who sat singing a sweet tune as she continued to mess with Rosalie’s hair. “Yet, she is a Mage and even then, she is also an elf. You know the hardships you will face with this. Do you fear it?”

Cullen for once brought his eyes to Mia’s, the same amber eyes that all of them shared. “I was a different man then when the Circle fell, being tortured by Uldred for my fascination with the mage I was assigned to. I wanted nothing to do with the mages then and wanted them all to suffer, to have more rules and regulations.” This memory was always fresh in his mind, and little by little he was coming to terms with this pain after so many years.

“Rumors about me were thrown around, saying I had murdered innocent mages before I made it to Kirkwall. If it wasn’t for Knight-Commander Greagoir sending me away, I do not know where I would be.” Cullen knew this truth was painful to recant to his sister, and yet she placed her hand on his shoulder in a sign of comfort. “I left the Templar’s behind after Kirkwall, I gave up lyrium which after being on it for so long has severe consequences of its own. I fought so hard to stay clear of it, knowing that if I were to give in…. I wouldn’t be standing here now.”

‘It’s been twenty years since the Circle, it’s been twenty-five years since I’ve been back home,’ Cullen thought to himself before he continued. “I’ve had to learn Mia, that no matter what Erys is and what she is capable of doing, she would never harm me. She would never see me possessed or trapped within a nightmare. She holds onto what remains of my past, the last of the lyrium from my days as a Templar.” He glanced back over at the one he loved the most, the one who had pushed him to be the man she saw trapped, hidden away from the world. The man he dreamed he could be when he was little, she saw it and sparked that fire deep within. “When I first met her, I still had my worries about another mage coming into the Inquisition, wondering if she was a spy or had some other motives. She has done nothing but continue to prove me wrong at every turn. She has her own past, her own pain and she still smiles, she still perseveres. She loves me as who I am and what she sees within me.”

Cullen smiled softly, “I love her with all my heart Mia, and I will love her until my last breath. I cannot imagine my life without her beside me.”

*****

Lake Calenhad was aglow, mimicking the colors of the Ferelden sunset above. Cullen kissed Erys cheek, and softly placed a kiss on her lips. “This is the lake we would visit as children, playing around the dock. It was also the last place I had seen my parents alive before they succumbed to the Blight. I was in the Circle unable to do anything to help them. If only….” He felt her softly squeeze his hand, her brilliant blue eyes looking up at him.

“We cannot change the past, and even if we could…the world we know would never be like this again.” Erys kissed Cullen’s lips as she looked off at the sunset, “just like all the sunsets on this dock never will look the same as they did before. And I know your parents would be proud of the man you are and still are becoming.”

Cullen thought for a moment, as he stared longingly into Erys’ brilliant blue eyes, and knew – this was forever. She was his forever. Everything was bright even in the darkness. “Close your eyes,” he tenderly placed his right hand against her cheek. And without question, she slowly closed her eyes and smiled.

“Marry me,” Cullen whispered in Erys’ ear as he embraced her, taking her left hand in his. There was a soft lull of the water as it crested against the dock, “will you…. marry me?” He held the tiny, knotted silver band in his hand, waiting as if time stood still for her to answer. Her brilliant blue eyes wide open and shimmering, her mouth slightly agape.

“I…..,” Erys stumbled over the words in her mouth, trying to get them to make sense. “I….yes. Yes…. I want to marry you.” Cullen had become more sure, more certain in the time she had spent with him. She watched as he slid the tiny silver band on her ring finger, as he placed a kiss on her lips.

The sunset slowly wanned away giving placed to the night sky setting the ending for their pasts behind them. Their lives may not be completely their own, but the dawning of a new day was before them. Erys would be setting out, finding her way into the Dread Wolf’s lair, masking her identity in hopes to not be found. Cullen would be returning alone, his love becoming the little wolf he knew she could be, hoping and praying she would return safely again. When morning comes, it would be time for them to set out on the roads ahead.

Chapter 8: Amaranthine

Summary:

Themes of healing and pain are revealed. Nightmares and visions. The fall of the circle.
The last of the romance.
NFSW

Notes:

~ flashback scene begins/ends
*** dream/nightmare sequences begins/ends
***** new scene begins/ends

Chapter Text

~

Cullen’s nightmares returned, each night the plague continued. Each time he plunged further into the chaos. The torment of Uldred and his demons, the fall of his fellow Templars and mages he once knew. Yet, no matter how he longed to be free of these cursed memories, he was afraid to allow Erys to see the shambles of his former life. 

“Erys,” Cullen searched for the words, unable to remember why he called for her. Her blue eyes, gentle yet concerned met his as she sat beside him. Silently with her eyes, she beckoned him to trust her, and he had always known that her heart was true.

“Your eyes remind me of a dream, out of the delirium I was in of a spirit that helped me stay strong during the fall.” 

Erys eyes widened at the gravity of Cullen’s recounted dream. “It wasn’t a dream my love,” she placed her right hand on his cheek, “I visited you during the fall, I heard you in my slumber, the torment and my heart wrenched. I…. I…..” She faltered searching for the words, slightly afraid of the realization that their first meeting was during his most broken moment.

~

***

Shattered, broken in faith Cullen prayed to the Maker for this unending nightmare to stop. Desire demons and abominations preyed on his fellow Templars until he remained….alone. He held no hatred towards the mages he guarded until the fall. Their thirst for blood, to destroy what was meant to protect all came crumbling down. No one was coming to save him, he knew this was his end. 

Cullen knelt at the edge of barrier, murmuring the words to a broken prayer. He saw a shadow stand before him now, he blinked worried that this was a trick of the mages again. The shadow remained and he found himself unable to move but the words of resentment escaped his lips. 

“Stay back! This trick again,” Cullen covered his ears and lowered his head in fear, “I know what you are. It won’t work. I will stay strong…” 

There was a void of silence before the soft, delicate voice replied, “Are you alright?” Her partially gloved right hand reaching forward, the barrier preventing her from coming any closer. Or so he thought as the shadow made its way past it. 

Delirious and exhausted, Cullen couldn’t make out the face in front of him. The figure was definitely human and the ears seemed elven from what his tired amber eyes could make out. Then he remembers Uldred’s tricks and the suffering he endured from these visions. “Enough visions. If anything in you is human... kill me now and stop this game,” he cried out, painful sobs reverberated from his chest. 

Cullen backed away from the barrier, no longer lulled by the delicate voice, “Don't touch me! Stay away! Sifting through my thoughts... tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have... Using my shame against me... my ill advised infatuation with her... a mage, of all things. I am so tired of these cruel jokes... these tricks... these...” 

With a wave of her hand, Cullen could finally make out the figure that stood before him. Her gentle blue eyes saddened, yet focused on him alone. Long silver hair framed her face as she knelt down in front of him. “I know you may not understand what you see before you, I am a spirit of peace ser Templar…” 

Cullen was fixated on the elvhen woman that knelt before him, her eyes leveled with his. Her right hand slowly found its place against his cheek.

“I cannot undo what Uldred has done to you, not now. My physical form rests in its eternal slumber far from here…and as much as I wish, it is not my time to awaken. This is not a dream or a trick,  yet I know that when this conversations ends, you will not recall my name or face.” Her voice was still soothing, and for a moment he was able to forget the months of suffering he endured. 

“Your name,” Cullen stumbled over the words, barely able to ask for her name. “Please….your name, even though I will forget.” 

The elven woman smiled softly, her blue eyes shining like the stars in the midnight sky. “Erys,” she whispered as she stood, the warmth of her hand leaving his cheek. For just a moment longer he watched as she faded away leaving him confined alone. He sobbed heavily, praying to the Maker that he would be saved. That he would see this Erys once again even if it was only in his dreams. 

***

Tucked away not far off Lake Calenhad was a small yet quaint shack that seemed untouched throughout the decades that had passed. Memories of long ago when Cullen was a boy still existed as if time stood still until the moment he left home to become a Templar. There were days where he thanked the Maker for that path he ventured on and days where he resented the parts of him that had become twisted and broken. 

Erys looked up at her beloved, noticing that he was lost in thought as he gathered what firewood he could find in the shack. She ran her hand through her tangled, wet silver hair as it clung to her. “Cullen, come sit - she patted the spot beside her on the floor, I can take care of the fire.” And yet, he still didn’t hear her request, whatever held his attention had to be the ghosts of his past here. She snapped her fingers, the glow of a roaring fire in the hearth lit up the space as it chased away the chill and shadows. Her hand grabbed at his soaked pants forcing him to look down at her, “I cannot stop whatever holds your thoughts, but come at least warm yourself by the fire before you catch cold.” 

Retrieving the blanket from the bed, Cullen sat as he wrapped himself and Erys within the woolen fabric. “And here you are worried about me, when I know I would never wish to see you ill.” He placed a kiss on her forehead, watching her eyes reflect the reddish glow of the fire.

Erys smiled and snuggled into Cullen’s chest forgetting for a moment he was also soaked down to his skin. “Well….,” she paused as she purred against his neck, “if you trust me enough, I have a suggestion.” 

There was a seductive tone to Erys’ voice that sent shivers down Cullen’s spine. After tonight she would be out of his reach and journeying into the unknown of the Dreadwolf’s lair. Somewhere he protested she shouldn’t go alone, yet he had to relinquish that thought. He knew that she was the only one capable of knowing where he could be and quick-witted enough to stay undetected. “And what is it you suggest,” he murmured as he pulled her closer into him, playfully kissing her jaw up to her ears. 

“I have two gifts for you tonight, my beloved…my Cullen….,” Erys ran her fingers through his golden locks,

“tonight before we part I want to spend this as if this was our wedding night and…” She paused, biting her lip for a moment, “if you allow me, while I am away I have a way to ease the nightmares… I know your worries of magic, yet I pray to the Creators to your Maker you will allow me this.”

***

Their clothing hung next to the hearth, water slowly dripping to the floor. Even with the roaring fire and it’s heat, the chill of the springtime rain made them shiver. Erys gazed into a Cullen’s amber eyes before she brought her hand to his cheek, her thumb stroking it tenderly.

“Are you sure,” Erys held her blue-eyed gaze with Cullen, searching for any signs of wavering. 

“I am certain my heart, my little wolf,” Cullen placed a kiss on Erys’ forehead as he felt her right hand find its place. This was the moment where he could no longer be afraid and uncertain. She was the light that lit up his darkest nights and chased the shadows away. She held his heart and he knew that there would be no one else besides her. 

Cullen tenderly held Erys’ right hand against his bare chest, feeling the magic that flowed from her delicate finger tips course through his veins. He felt awakened, what the lyrium held control of no longer existed. The woman before him was more than an elf or a mage, she was a blessing, an answered prayer. The warmth of her fingers as she pressed against his chest reminded him of the indescribable power she had over him. He loved her with every fiber of his being and he knew she was more than he could ever deserve. Yet - he did deserve her, he deserved to be loved fully and unabashedly. 

The brokenness that had consumed Cullen slowly began to dissipate, the nightmares that had scarred him for so long retreated from his memories. His beloved, his Erys had the purest soul that he had ever seen in his thirty-eight years. He watched as her lips parted and her right hand fell slowly from his chest, he knew that even though they would part ways….she was forever a part of his being. He brought his lips to her’s, slowly enticing her with a kiss. His left hand traced a line from her shoulder to the small of her back. Her lips parted as she beckoned him further. 

The flash of lightning, hot and white lit up the darkest corners of the shack. Erys stumbled in the shadows that had returned as the fire burned out. Cullen gently coaxes her to the bed behind them, feeling the weight of him pressing against her. 

The creaking of the bed against the rolling thunder with the tapping of the rain against the window was all the music Cullen needed. The candle next to their bedside flickered to life as Erys pulled him to her. There was no need for words to express what he longed for and what she desired. 

Cullen tenderly kissed Erys’ lips, feeling the warmth of her breath against his as her tongue danced with his. Her breathing hitched as his right hand cupped her left breast, his thumb circling its peak. Trails of kisses were left as he slowly made his way down from her lips to her collar bone stopping short of her chest. His tongue circled the peak of her right breast as he heard the gentle moans in pleasure. 

Erys wrapped her fingers in Cullen’s golden locks, the softness of his curls at her fingertips. She shivered as sparks traveled through her veins. Biting her bottom lip as the series of moans escaped her lips. Rarely had she felt this pleasure as time was short when they could be together at the hold. She reveled in each sensation that his lips and tongue played against her aching body as he traveled further seeking her core. There was no denying how much she longed to make love like this, to have him pleasure her tiniest whims without a single word. 

Amber eyes peered up taking note of Cullen’s beloved’s tiniest reaction to his touch. His lips leave a mess of kisses between Erys’ thighs. Her breathing hitched with each small kiss. He hadn’t dared to revel in the desires, the longing to pursue their love further until tonight. Each kiss, each touch was his claim that she belonged to him, and only him. His tongue found its way to her core, lapping as the warmth that left her body. Her back arching as his right hand massaged her left breast and then the moans mixed with rapid pants. He allowed his right hand to travel slowly, his fingers lingering as it made their way to her core. He delighted in pleasuring her, his thumb making circles slow and precise as his tongue delved deeper into her. 

Flurries of moans escaped Erys’ lips, she could no longer hold back the hot wet tears that escaped her bright blue eyes. Her fingers unlaced from Cullen’s curls, bracing her own hands against her face. Her moans becoming howls of pleasure as his tongue pressed further, deeper into her core. Ecstasy filled her body, the shivers and quivering as her body released into the pleasure of his tongue. His lust filled amber eyes catching hers as he finished his laps. She watched as he stealthily wiped her wetness from his mouth, a token of being considerate of where his mouth had been. His lips greeted hers as he slowly entered her core, his length filling deeper than before. 

Slow, yet steady Cullen kept the gentlest pace drawing out the moment longer. Holding back his desire to quicken his pace, to make love to Erys roughly with a lion’s prowess. He licked her lips, the taste sweet against his tongue as her hands clung to his arms. Her brilliant blue eyes beckoning for more, seductive in their own manner. Moment by moment he sweetly quickened his pace, drawing out the pleasure he could resisting his own urge to give in to his release. Maker, he couldn't help but pray for this night to never end. Knowing that as soon as the sun rises, the one he held most dear would be out of his reach. His heart traveling with her until she would return to his arm. His body surrendered, giving way to his release feeling the quivering of her body beneath his. 

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen whispered as he settled down beside Erys, pulling her into his chest. Feeling her breathing slow in time with his, the soft murmurs she made against his chest. “I love you with all my heart. I shudder at the thought of you being away from me for so long. I feel as if I will go mad impatiently waiting for you. My room will be my only solace with the memories we’ve made there.” He couldn’t help but fight back the tears of loneliness and longing. 

“Vhenan,” Erys shook her head realizing the word that escaped her lips. Cullen’s amber eyes gazing into hers, his left hand greeting her cheek as he softly ran his thumb against it. 

“I know little about your language, yet I’ve heard that word before,” Cullen knew that this was no accident, Erys had held back from uttering that word. “What does it mean my love?” 

“It means my heart,” Erys felt the tears welling up once again, “I haven’t spoken that word in a very long time. But with you - I’ve held back until now. You are my heart. You are my home. You are where I belong.” She felt renewed in her faith, in her native tongue. She knew with him that he cherished her heart and wouldn’t stray. “Ar lath ma, Vhenan. It means I love you, my heart.” She smiled softly as he tenderly kissed her forehead. 

“And what would one say in reply,” Cullen asked longing to return one final gift no matter how small for Erys. 

Blue eyes focused on amber eyes. Erys still smiled softly, tears falling gently down her cheeks as her heart filled with joy. “One would reply with ar lath ma ir , Vhenan, which means I am in love with you, my heart. ” 

In the subtle silence tears couldn’t help but be shed by one another. Erys burying her face into Cullen’s chest, unable to stop the saddened tears from falling. Cullen tried his best to stay strong, yet even so he could not help but embrace his own sadness. For they would both wait endlessly for each other’s return. For they were each other’s amaranthine. 

Chapter 9: The Score, Part I

Summary:

Delving further into the current Thedas with Cullen, Erys, and Solas. We find ourselves in different places in time. The past resurfacing bit by bit as they are led down new paths.

Notes:

NSFW
RAPE WARNING
~ flashback begins/ends
****** scene changes

Chapter Text

In ancient times, only Fen'Harel could walk without fear among both our gods and the Forgotten Ones, for although he is kin to the gods of the People, the Forgotten Ones knew of his cunning ways and saw him as one of their own. And that is how Fen'Harel tricked them. Our gods saw him as a brother, and they trusted him when he said that they must keep to the heavens while he arranged a truce. And the Forgotten Ones trusted him also when he said he would arrange for the defeat of our gods, if only the Forgotten Ones would return to the abyss for a time. They trusted Fen'Harel, and they were all of them betrayed. And FenHarel sealed them away so they could never again walk among the People. * Codex entry* 

******

Erys crept quietly through the Eluvians of her past, treading lightly and carefully shrouded from the eyes of Fen’harel’s agents. She knew if they were to catch a glimpse of her silver hair, her fate would be easily sealed. Slipping past the Spirit Champions to the final eluvian, she breathed in deeply as she stepped in, her spell concealing her movements until she was deep within his fortresses walls. 

Lowering the hood to her cloak, Erys caught a glimpse of her distorted reflection in the eluvian behind her. No longer silver haired with bright blue eyes, a spell cast long ago was one of glamor to alter her appearance. Auburn hair framed her face as it fell from the mess of a bun atop of her head, her eyes steel gray focused on the last remaining pieces that she could claim as her own. She sighed, missing her former appearance, reminiscing the way Cullen had cherished her silver hair when he wrapped it in his fingers and the way he could light up her blue eyes.

Erys sighed heavily as she continued forward, walking the path she had done centuries ago. This time she wasn’t going to falter. This time she would do what she had failed to do in the past. It was time to reveal what had been buried deep within her soul, the truth - the painful truth of the day that sealed their fates. 

******

Cullen sighed as he entered his quarters in the hold. It was daunting enough to be back in here and the memories that were shared with Erys made it harder. Every place had an impact on him as he wandered around his room. A brown leatherback book sat on the nightstand, the favorite fairy tales that he read to her each night. 

The bed they had shared for many moon lit nights. Secret rendezvous without the noticing of Inquisitor Idryl. Cullen knew she was not one to handle the romance of her Commander well since Solas had departed. Idryl’s temperamental way started after the return to the Winter Palace. The shock of finding Solas at the end of the Eluvian maze, the loss of her left arm, and the betrayal of knowing what the Dread Wolf had stolen. He couldn’t blame the anguish the Inquisitor felt or the moments of bitterness. There was hope still. A hope that the woman who stood by his side, his love, his wolf, his Erys could help right those slighted by the Dread Wolf, including herself. 

Incantations that had silenced the room to keep their love making between them. Erys was his one and only as he stared at the golden band on his hand. He smiled as he adjusted the band on his ring finger, wishing that she was not ensnared in a trap. The blue crystal amulet she had given him held no answers. 

She had shown him how the crystal would light up in different arrays of colors. Bright, white for help was the one he was fearing the most. 

He didn’t understand her ancient elvhen magic completely, yet unlike his fears before - he was captivated by it. Spells and incantations he has never seen before, the way she could make crimson roses bloom with just the touch of her hand. Or - when she had visited him on the darkest day of his life. The spirit of her alone, he knew it was her after he shared his plight in the Circle Tower. The demonic touch still shook him to his core, the part of him that slowly began to heal with the trust and compassion she embodied as he grimly reminisced the torture. 

Cullen had forgotten how many days he had gone without food or drink leaving him delirious. He found no comfort or solace locked away in the confines of his room, awaiting his demise at the hands of the blood mages. He watched his fellow Templars one by one descend into madness, turning on one another - held captive by the desire demons’ spell. 

He had solemnly praised Andraste for one more day alive in this hell. In his short eighteen years of life, he feared that it would end here in this damned place. Regrets of leaving his family at the age of thirteen to pursue his path to becoming a Templar. The damned Blight taking everything away from his family, the loss of his parents was the hardest to accept. He had not seen a letter from Mia in months since the Blight had begun. Honnleath, the quaint little farming town he once knew, was ransacked and no longer recognizable from the last letter Mia sent. The details of his parents parting from them was heartbreaking, but Templars don’t cry, he told himself. He could mourn them later - maybe if Sir Gregoir would let him take leave once the Blight was over. 

The heavy door swung open drawing Cullen’s attention, a familiar face catching his eye as the figure came into view. Frae, the mage he had been assigned to the one who had gone off to the Wardens. She was standing there now - dressed in tarnished, blood soaked armor. 

“Is that you Frae,” Cullen couldn’t help but softly whisper her name. He was fond of her, a Templar and a mage, he would always perish that thought, yet, - and was counting his blessings for seeing her now. “Frae - h-how did you get past the demons and mages?” He was bewildered how she had gotten this far unscathed, yet she was quite talented before her Joining and the departure to the Wardens. 

Frae smiled softly, slowly moving forward taking his hand in hers. She did not speak as she pressed a finger against his trembling lips. There was a boldness to her that he had not known before, his thoughts slowly becoming hazy from the lyrium withdrawal. “Frae, why - why don’t you answer me,” he mustered what was left of his coherent thoughts to ask one last question. Denied answers once again, the soft smile on her rose tinted lips as they descended on him was one of the last things he could remember. 

Everything was a blur from the moment Frae had entered the room, the lustful glances that Cullen had not known before alight on her face. He felt the loosening of his armor as her nimble fingers undid every strap. The clanging of metal armor as it hit the cold stone floor, his body exposed before the woman he had desired. She quickly undressed, her body the picture of perfection, the sole surviving elven mage of the Wardens. 

Cullen tried to fight the temptations that began to overwhelm his senses. Finding no strength to fight back, he slowly succumbed to the whims of the one he had adored. Aquamarine eyes drew him in deeper into her lustful spell, his body no longer his own. Praying to the Maker that this was only a dream. A figment of his deprived lyrium tainted soul. Yet, the touch of her flesh against his was all too real. The creaking of the bed beneath them as she pressed him to it was another reminder this was real. 

“You’ve waited so patiently for my return, oh my poor Templar,” Frae’s voice was sultry and yet smooth as she found her rhythm against his unintended erection. She had control over him, he prayed for this nightmare to end. For whatever demon that possessed her to flee from her at once. Little did he know, the desire demon of Uldred’s had broken his mind. 

~

Cullen found himself knelt by his bedside, holding tightly onto the necklace Erys had left behind. One side bore the intricate carving of a lion, while the other bore the carving of a wolf. His life forever changed, and forever held in her hands. The grasp she had, the hold on his heart did not wane even despite the terrible memories. His nightmares began to subside the more he stayed attached to her side. From her scent, to her bright blue eyes, and lastly to the way she carved a world where magic was no longer an abomination he abhorred.

“Maker guide and watch over her as she wanders once again into a place of turmoil and despair. Give her the strength to persevere and defeat the demons she may face,” a prayer that had escaped his lips many times in the past, this time finding fear seeping into his thoughts. “Maker preserve me and guide me until she returns to me once again.” 

****** 

~

“Zurvan,” Erys took hold of her gentle father figure's hand, “you know that I love him.” She glanced over at Solas who was lurking in the shadows. “I promise that I will guard my heart and that what you pray will never come to pass. He needs me…. He needs someone that will keep him on the path of righteous wisdom and not the path of prideful wisdom that can destroy. Our people deserve a chance to be free of our chains, you know how it feels to be in servitude. Please give me this chance, this chance to show him that faith and love can conquer the worst of our foes.”

Zurvan saw the same steadfast look that Erys was well-known for during their time together. He adored her as a father would any kin regardless of them not being of the same blood. He watched as she took form during the new moon that graced the forests of Arlathan. The altar was well prepared for his longtime spiritual companion who watched over him even after he took his first breath in elvhen form. The moonlight shimmered, setting a silverish glow to the stone cast beneath it, her hair graced by the silver shimmer bestowed by the moon herself. A picture of peace and light as she took her first breath in her form, choosing a childlike stature with bright blue eyes that could rival any star in the sky. 

“You have made your choice da’len,” Zurvan knew that she would not be easily swayed with the bond they had developed in their time together, “I know that I cannot sway your decision from who you have chosen as your mate, but do know that…..that if he ever harms you in any way, I will not stand idly by watching you suffer.” He placed a hand against her cheek, a father-like kiss on her forehead as he turned to leave. A sea of hopes and fears flowed through his mind as he left Solas’ domain, stepping through that eluvian one last time. 

Erys held her breath as she swiftly entered the hall that was filled with the art that designed it to be of Fen’harel. Paintings that she had been accustomed to in her time with him. Memories of painting them side by side, but one difference had come from the time apart. The wolf that once stood beside the image of Fen’harel was white with bright blue eyes….now shadowed black with burning crimson eyes. 

‘For you have changed the history that we had once built. Fen’harel belonged to more than one elvhen. For we had shared the title that you have now claimed as your own. You erased me from the memory of our people, my name yet still falls off your tongue. I was the light of our people, the hope that peace would soon come. Yet, you do not know the company you had kept. Mythal is a trickster, she is not the mother of our people. She does not understand justice the way we have seen it. She trapped me, confined me to a cell, and then altered my body in a way that I cannot undo. I hold the power of Discord, a malevolent spirit that wishes to destroy anything in its path. The lyrium that bound it to my body is tainted and I cannot contain its will for much longer. You must see the reason Solas, you must know that your friend is not who you believed her to be.’ 

Chapter 10: The Score, Part II

Summary:

What happens with the confines of the Dread Wolfs lair? What secrets of the past come to life?

Notes:

NSFW
CHARACTER DEATH WARNING
TORTURE WARNING
~ flashback begins/ends
****** scene changes
*elgar’lethal - spirit kin

Chapter Text

In the months hidden within Solas’ lair, Erys took note of the elves that followed Fen’harel were devout as could be, they did not waver or question the end of the world that was inevitable if Solas was to get his hands on the lyrium idol. She sighed heavily knowing fully well it had been lost in the fall of Kirkwall, but tiny remnants could be found as tainted red lyrium grew like wildfire. Her chest began to throb as she delved further into the places where the Veil was torn, the power of the Fade awakening what had laid dormant for centuries began to unravel.

Solas had kept a tight leash on his subordinates, she had watched Abelas remained by his side, offering silent solutions that she dared not try to overhear with her abilities. At one point Abelas had been her guardian as she slept, a plea from her elgar’lethal* Zurvan. She still could find no traces of him as she crept silently through the lair. Keeping her amber eyes low from prying eyes in the fear someone could recognize an unfamiliar face. Glamor was one of the trickiest spells she had learned and it was the hardest to hold while the Fade remained locked away, the simplest act of breathing life into spells had become harder despite adjusting to the changed world quickly. 

Murals depicting the rise and fall of Fen’harel and the ancient elvhen were scattered in the most awestricking places. The final image in a throne like room, breaking the silence with the murmurs of newly recruited agents. Erys stood in front of the mural, her hand tracing the image into her mind. Depictions of what Solas believed may come when the Veil would shatter allowing the Fade to breathe freely once again. Unleashing the wrath of the Forbidden and Forgotten ones of the unaware world. The people she had come to know and love. Her new family that had accepted her as one of their own. Her love, the one who made her feel so sure of herself in times of doubt. The reason she clung to the hope that Solas could be swayed. 

~

Erys felt the chains tighten against her tiny wrists as she tugged against them. Chained to a stone altar, surrounded by unfamiliar faces that she had dared not to glance long at. She cursed silently to herself as she remembered the events that led to her captive state. 

“Rhenn,” Erys was tugging onto the sleeve of his tunic, wary of the enemies that surrounded them. They had sought to infiltrate one of the holds that kept the slaves under the watch of Elgarnan. She knew well that Mythal would not sit idly by and watch her own plans unravel. This was a path with no return for either of them. And she wished to take back every step that led them here. “Rhenn, we need to go, we need to leave,” she pleaded as she spoke into his mind connected by the bond they had shared. Only the exchange of promises as Zurvan watched them grow closer to one another. Zurvan was unaware of this plot, their fates destined if she could not convince him to turn back. 

“Rhenn,” Erys screamed into his mind, finally drawing his gaze as he turned to her. “I know we seek your brother, I know he has been in servitude of Elgarnan since he was little, but this is a path of no return, we need help Rhenn.” She felt the fearful tears fall from her eyes, pleading for him to turn back. 

“Erys, vhenan,” Rhennyan placed a gloved hand against her cheek, she was always steadfast in her beliefs, but he knew all too well when she pleaded for him to stop. He had been blindsided by rage that he had dragged them into the enemies pit. He had heard the whispers of Mythal’s displeasure in his love, he knew this was the biggest regret of his life. 

~

Mythal had taken advantage of her powerless state long before and embedded a sliver of tainted lyrium that housed a forgotten demonic soul. Discord had been its name and once she had felt this surge of lustful power try to take control. Housing the benevolent spirit of Peace was the only safety she had as she tried to keep control of her glamor spell. Creators, she cursed under her breath as she stumbled into a cloaked figure, quickly realizing the grave mistake she had made. 

The scenery around her faded to black as she felt the surge of demonic power surge through her veins. Erys was weak from the neverending use of her glamor spell that she was unable to hold on any longer. Grasping for threads that fed into her magic was difficult enough as is. Damned this cursed fate she was destined to live regardless of her trying to hold on to the light. 

~

“Erys, my vhenan,” there was that grim fatalistic look on Solas’ face as he took her hands in his, “you know what I must do, the path that I must walk.”

She sat there blindsided, grasping for the last few straws she had to argue with him, “no, you promised me….your promised Zurvan that you would not stray from the path that we have before us. We could offer so much, it needs more time. We cannot rebuild Arlathan hastily, vhenan.” She felt the tears fall from her cheeks as she felt the last of her resolve cease. Pleading meant nothing now as she looked into his eyes seeing the one she had loved was gone. The pain in her chest, a broken heart that she had tried time and time again to keep stitched together. 

“I cannot sit here and accept this fate you have deemed for yourself, Fen’harel. I have loved you unconditionally, I have followed you as we have worked to bring justice and peace to our world,” the tears did not stop falling, and she saw the hint of hope in his eyes as he pulled her into his embrace, “I’ve already lost so much, how much more do I have to lose?” 

Solas caught whomever had fallen into him, taking notice of a now unfamiliar face in his grasp. Silver hair framed her fair face, an all too familiar face that he had not expected to see in his lair. Without a second thought, shadows covered them as he removed them from the sight of his agents. 

Erys had always had a striking beauty to her, something other elvhen women he had pursued had lacked. He had spent months searching for her before erecting the Veil and sealing away the Forbidden and Forgotten elvhen before falling into his slumber. He spent time in the Fade searching for any sign of her and finding nothing. No thoughts of her remained in the place where time was altered by dreamers. All that was left was the memories he had of her and the regret that he would have to live with for the rest of his days. 

Even the void that Idryl had filled could not compare to the desire he felt to find Erys once again. Yet, now he had the life of one in his grasp and the other hanging on by a tiny thread. Just as in the past he had abandoned the one who made him feel alive all for the sake of what….to save a world he all but destroyed with his own hands. 

Idryl did not deserve the pain he had put her through, turning away from her the moment he felt his heart falling for the ebony hair elf. She was stunning with her emerald green eyes and a demeanor that could shake the ones who followed her. He did love her, he thought of her as his vhenan and found a place to call home in her arms. And then after the destruction of the orb, the maze of eluvians he led her through, he almost stole what life remained by taking the anchor away. He had broken another soul he cherished. 

Solas tried to grab onto Erys’ cloak as she fled his domain, the last of those who would rival his prideful ideals. Wisdom was such a daunting nightmare, always able to see a brighter future, yet his followthrough was always one filled with blood. She had still loved him through his darkest hours and even still she wished him nothing but to avoid the needless bloodshed. He remembered the tears that had fallen from her cheeks days before her final departure. He hoped that she would return safely to Zurvan’s domain, finding the solace that she needed to mend. 

‘I am the prideful fool who could not even stand at the side of my vhenan and fight for what I desire. I want that life she could foresee, a world where our crystal palaces filled the sky. Children born of elvhen flesh could delight in the stories of old, the one of the Fen’harels that freed their people from their chains one by one. The ones who brought the Evanuris and the Forbidden ones to their knees. The world of delighting in the return of the rightful elvhen ruler, the one who he deemed most worthy of that claim that had stood by his side.’ 

~

Erys awakened in an unfamiliar room, the scent of the Fade apparent as she came to. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the dimly lit space, bearing similar resemblance to a familiar room of her past. She breathed in the scent, her soul slowly taking back over her body, the demonic presence held at bay by whatever spell had taken over for now. 

“You’ve awakened,” an all too familiar voice brought her back to her new predicament. Solas stood before her, his same grim look upon his face, his lips in a firm line as he took in the sight of her. “You are quite fortunate it was I who you stumbled into and not one of my agents. They have been warned and trained to rid my lair of any spies.” 

Erys sat quietly, refusing to speak or glance into his eyes. She knew the tricks of Fen’harel, and knew that Solas could not be trusted. He took a step forward, filling in the empty space between the bed and himself. The air grew colder as if death followed him around, and she knew the blood of many were on his hands. 

“How you have managed to stay out of sight of my agents still surprises me. Yet, here you are and now I know how you escaped their sights easily. Zurvan taught you well. Yet, I still need to know why you seek me out instead of the others who may have awakened like you?” 

Erys cursed herself for revealing part of her secrets, yet she knew the Inquisition who needed him to abandon his plans. “Because you hold the world in your hands Solas, you plan to destroy another world to salvage what no longer remains of ours. Why do you keep drowning our people and others in blood, it is needless bloodshed that Thedas has experienced for centuries cut off from the Fade. You and Mythal have damaged enough of the world and you are still a fool to believe that she would not cause another rift in your plans.” 

Solas saw the pity in Erys' eyes as she finally looked at him, acknowledging the past between them. “You speak as if you knew Mythal’s plans. What is it that you are hiding?” 

Chapter 11: The Score, Part III

Summary:

Solas has witnessed a shift in the world. The faults and malevolence of an old friend.

Notes:

NSFW
TORMENT WARNING
~flashback begins/ends
****** scene change

*Mala suledin nadas - now you must endure
*Ir abelas - I’m sorry

Chapter Text

Erys faltered as she attempted to break free from Solas’ grasp, feeling his fingertips dig into her wrist. She knew this despicable waltz was over as she hung her head in defeat. This was not her territory, she knew better than to bring her powers to light as she feigned ignorance towards him. If he knew the evil soul that she had kept hidden from millenia ago. His grip tightened as he forced her to look up at him. 

“What is it that you are desperately trying to hide from me? From him ,” Solas could not hold the bitterness of seeing the wedding band draped around her neck. Yet, he knew he had no right to be bitter as he had done the same when he laid with Idryl. 

Erys felt the surge again as she fell to her knees, her wrist still locked in his hands. “Release me and I will tell you, but this comes with a price.” This was the only attempt she had to shake his disastrous plan. The only sliver of hope on gaining his help and trying to redeem what had been lost in him long ago. 

~

Erys watched in despair as Rhenn stumbled forward, his own arrow penetrating his chest, the blood ran red through his fingertips as he drew his last breaths. She screamed as she cradled his lifeless body in her hands, the tears never ceasing as she poured what little hope into bringing him back, knowing fully well that he would never return. 

“Ah da’len, you would have thought it best to turn back for the sake of one insignificant soul,” Mythal stood before her, dragon-like claws where fingers should have been. “You knew quite well that I am not to be trusted since our last meeting. Elgar'nan has taken quite a liking to you, one that I do not enjoy.” Mythal drew the claws down Erys’  face, drawing blood from her cheeks. 

Mythal reveled in shaking down those who dared to challenge her, even one that was protected by her mate. “Who will come and aid you now? Your vhenan lays cold in your arms, his demise being of his own make.” Haunting chuckles as she continued to speak. “Yet you do not lash out at the one who had taken away your dreams. A different elvhen that is not quite like the rest, designed specially by our Creators. How I wonder how that soul could be broken to my will.” 

~

Erys sank to the floor as Solas released her hand, the pain in her chest flaring as the memories flooded her thoughts. “Mythal sought to destroy me, to destroy the peace that I wished for. She killed my Rhenn, I watched him die in my arms as she gloated in revelry.”

“She knew the powers gifted to me by our Creator, she hated me for being favored by Elgar’nan as a future peace keeper. She wanted to break me, and she did,” Erys tried to stand, finding her body weakened from the internal fight. “I need to leave this place, before I lose control of myself - Dis seeks to be free and I am unable to contain her in this state.” 

Solas stared at her perplexed, angered, and hurt for not seeing the abuses of Mythal. The torture that Erys must have undergone when she was within her clutches. “Dis,” he too was unaware of the secret she kept, “Dis came to be how Erys?” 

Bitten, bloodied lips returned the answer, “Dis - or Discord, she resides tethered to my soul, a token of Mythal’s will to destroy whatever stands in her path. I tried to fight this for so long. I tried to find answers on how to undo what had been done. I…..” Erys faltered once more, her thoughts slowly disappearing. “I cannot remove the evil soul that is tethered to mine, tainted by the lyrium that binds her to me.” 

There was a flicker in Erys’ eyes that drew alarm to Solas as he watched the bright blue fade to crimson, knowing he was no longer speaking to her  and the eyes narrowed at his presence. “Dis, I presume?”

~

Erys felt the pull of the Fade surround her as she awoke to a dream, her body still chained to the slab Mythal left her on. There was no comfort as she wandered aimlessly for a familiar spirit to console her rage and grieving. She held onto the pendant Rhenn wore around his neck, the last physical thing she could covet of his. His spirit was nowhere to be found, wherever she had awakened. 

‘What you seek can no longer be found,’ a disembodied voice echoed in Erys’ head. ‘I am Discord, but you will know me only as Dis. You and I are now tethered to each other, my thoughts are yours no matter how hard you try to drown me in your light. For even my darkest desires will taint your soul eventually, even if it takes a millennia for me to do so.’

‘Why would you wish to do Mythal’s bidding? Why me,” Erys questioned the new voice in her head, seeing the bright colors fade to gray. ‘What is there to gain by this?’ 

‘I gain a body that I can call my own. I gain everything I desire in a moment and there is nothing that you can do to stop me once I fully awaken,’ Dis momentarily controlled Erys’ body, taking delight in exploring her new home. ‘I gain the powers you have yet to awaken, transforming your peace into discord, setting the world into pure chaos that you can see from my mind's eye. I also gain the favor of Mythal and the protection under her Sentinels, knowing that you will never awaken again.’

Erys’ body stopped in front of a Faded eluvian, catching a different reflection in the mirror. Her eyes differentiated by blue and crimson, her hair a darkened silver, and red veins overtaking parts of her skin. She was no longer the spirit she was designed to be. The Creator’s chosen forever altered due to the jealousy of one. 

‘No matter how you plan to take away my soul, to take away what is mine,’ Erys held onto her perseverance, ‘I will always find a way to break this bond, those who love me will find a way to bring me back to reality. You will not have me.’

~

Dis smirked as she looked at the man before her, “Solas I presume from the memories that Erys has of you. What you did to her was quite devastating and yet you still clung to your false hope that you alone could save your people.” She laughed, throwing her head back as she took control of the body she could claim. 

“What have you done to Erys, you need to release her at once,” Solas exclaimed, fearful of the creature that now stood before him. “She does not deserve to have something so demonic as you taint her soul any longer.” 

“There is nothing and no one that is capable of undoing what Mythal did millenia ago. We are bound, tethered together and my soul seeps further into her veins, she will no longer be but a memory as I remain. She will be forever dormant in slumber as I take her life,” Dis now stood in front of Solas, her crimson eyes coercing him to fall for her spell. 

Solas glanced away, knowing that looking directly into that demon’s eyes would give her control over him. He had known about Dis and her whims as a spirit, yet he had stayed as far away from her as possible until now. Zurvan had made a warning long ago of the power of discord that Erys had. How he had known what would come to pass now remained a mystery, and he knew that he needed to find him, soon. 

“Begone from her, begone from this place,” Solas revoked the demon’s prowess as he did the only thing he could do. He placed his hand against Dis’ chest in an attempt to disrupt the control she had over Erys. Solas leaned down whispering the words from long ago in her ear, a sign to keep strong and to hold on in times of darkness. ‘ mala suledin nadas.*’  

Solas kept his hand pressed against her chest, holding onto a sliver of hope that Erys would find the strength to return. “You must endure Erys, I had failed to see it then. Now I know that you are the one foretold to save our people. The reason Zurvan had cherished you before you took this form. I am sorry for my pride. I am sorry that we failed to see the damage Mythal had done. The rift to divide those who would seek to destroy her creations. You must come back, if not for me but for them, for him.’

Erys could hear the pleas being made by Solas from where her mind was being held captive by Dis. She searched for an opening, a way to shake the hold of her captor. And bright, shimmering white enveloped her, shaking the darkness from her sight. This was the only way to be free of Dis. She had to endure. She had to return to Cullen. She had to save those she had come to know. She had to fulfill the Creator’s plans. 

Her body slumped in Solas arms as the crimson eyes closed, her breathing shallow as he held what he hoped to be Erys in his arm. He held on to her tightly, wishing that this would never happen again. Knowing that the path that she would walk would be one of pain and destruction if Dis were to take control again. “Erys you need to wake. Wherever you slumber is not your home, it does not define you. I will seek answers. I will not stop until you are free of this. Even if it takes my last breath. I will do this for you. I need you to forgive me. Ir abelas.*”

****** 

Solas paced his room, refusing to let Erys out of his sight. He held tightly to the amulet Zurvan had gifted him long ago. Treasured until this day as a bonding gift for Erys, one that never saw the light of day. It was not a usual custom between the first of their kind to trade jewelry, yet, he still held onto the ring that she had gifted him long ago. Hidden beneath his clothing, held close to his heart. He had used the ring time and time again to find her, to search the Fade for her, not knowing that it had been removed from her hand as she slumbered. 

He adjusted the chains around her neck, looking closely at the intricate knotted band and then at the coin. Struck with the familiarity of the coin, bearing the image of Andraste herself on the front. Cullen had carried that coin around, one of the last gifts from his brother Branson before he left to become a Templar. Oh how fate could be, now knowing that she had aligned herself to the Inquisition’s plans. And also taking interest and affection for their Commander. 

“He is quite taken with you to gift you such a prized possession Erys,” Solas held on tightly to the coin, his hand shaking slightly from the realization she had fallen in love with another, “I hope he makes you happier than I ever could, but I promise regardless of how I feel….I will find a way to free you from Mythal’s clutches.” 

****** 

Erys awoke, her head throbbing from the fight with Dis to take control once again. Her eyes once again adjusting to her surroundings, noticing she was in an unfamiliar place again. The sounds of footsteps coming closer let her know she was not alone, that whoever waited outside that door was about to enter. 

“You’ve awakened,” Solas kept his distance as he entered, wary that whoever might answer could be one of the two. “I hope that it is Erys that I am talking to, I am not in the mood to deal with Dis again.” 

Erys took in a deep breath before answering, “Dis is no longer here Solas, you can step into the light now.” It was hard to form sentences with the throbbing pain, as if someone had slammed her head against the stone walls. “I cannot control her anymore….she is stronger and grows stronger with each surge of tainted lyrium.” 

“You had me worried, why did you hide this from…,” Solas bit his tongue remembering that she had forgotten the torment she had disappeared. “You need to tell him, Erys, you cannot hide this from the Commander…”

Erys’ eyes grew wide as she heard the word exit his mouth, “you are aware?” 

“Yes, Erys…..you wear his coin around your neck, did you think I would have forgotten,” Solas questioned her gently, trying to not provoke what lay dormant for now. Her eyes no longer held his gaze. “You deserve to be loved, Erys, and it’s taken me a millenia to see the error of my ways. You loved me with all of my faults and I turned on you for selfish pride.” 

“Solas,” Erys looked up at him once more, “that is in the past, if you can accept that I too have found a home for my heart, as I have with you. I know of Idryl and your romance before you abandoned her, I can help you set things right with her in time.” 

Erys had always been wise and abandoned conditions when it came to forgiveness. Zurvan had taught her well to not harbor hate or ill will to others. He hoped that she could hold on to that as long as she could, if that could help quell the demonic spirit. “You are wiser than most Erys, there is a rare beauty that you hold. You have always been the peace and light Zurvan wanted you to be. To see that slip away….. I could not bear it..” 

“I don’t have the power to undo this. And I don’t know how much longer she will stay dormant again. The instability of the Fade is allowing Dis an advantage that I was unaware of.” Erys sat frozen in fear of losing control of her body, being forced to watch Dis destroy her life. “I….. I am afraid if Cullen sees me in this state….”

“He will cherish you Erys, and…..I am certain he will do whatever it takes to keep you safe from her,” Solas took her hand in his, “I have one last promise….I will send you home and I will follow. But this, this you must tell him on your own. I cannot do this for you da’len. You cannot hide what has changed to your eyes, Erys, he will see it without a second glance.”

Solas held a mirror in his hands as Erys gazed into it. Seeing that her eyes no longer held the same bright blue. Dis had made her mark taking over once feature. A crimson left eye had remained permanent, for now a token that Dis would return eventually. “Solas, you are the one who must find a way to sever what teathers her soul to mine. You must seek to find if Zurvan still slumbers or has awakened. I will hold on as long as I can….you must put an end to whatever Mythal has planned for her.”