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A Hot Dip

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"All in favor of crawling away and drowning in a hot spring, groan or bleed a little," Revas said cheerfully, cracking her neck and packing snow against her coat to soak up the dragon blood splattered on it.

"I want to die," Dorian complained, patting away ash. "Whose idea was it to come to this godforsaken wasteland and kill a dragon? And why did you bring me? I am going to freeze to death before we make it back to civilization. What little there is, this far south."

"The Bull wanted to," she replied, trudging down the steps of the now-uninhabited coliseum, the others following behind. "He volunteered you too."

"I hate both of you."

Bull rumbled with laughter, swiping at the blood covering his chest and succeeding only in making more of a mess. “Don’t lie, you know it gets your blood pumping.”

"My blood is already pumping just fine," he hissed.

"Does that mean you don’t want to stop at one of the springs?"

"If we do not stop, I will set you on fire."

"Knew you’d see it our way," Bull said with a pleased voice. "Nothing like a hot dip in cold air."

"Don’t remind me of the snow."

"However could you miss it, Dorian? Are you walking with your eyes shut?" Solas asked, finally deigning to acknowledge the ridiculous people walking in the same general direction as him.

"I refuse to speak to any of you until I am clean and fed and maybe have had a two day nap. Dragon hunting!"

"They’re good for publicity," Bull said, still amused. "Plus I really like killing dragons. And watching you set them on fire while you keep from browning your trousers is funny."

"Learned that from Sera, did you? No, I am not speaking to you. Lavellan, why did you go along with this?"

"I liked not having to kill people for a change," she replied dryly. There was a very long silence. "Ir abelas, that was rather grim, wasn’t it?"

"Just a bit, dear," Dorian said. "I think you’ve been spending too much time with Solas. Or possibly Cole. He’s just full of cheery things to say."

"Involuntary heart-to-hearts are a bit of a mood killer, yes. How’s this? I like dragon hunting for the look on your face when the Bull headbutts one. You always look like you’re about to explode."

"Everything about fighting dragons makes me want to explode, you two are insane!"

"it's a really good look on you. Right, boss?"

"Right," she agreed with a firm nod. "Plus, you’re the best with fire spells, Dorian. Dragons living here are bound to be highly flammable. You know we couldn’t have done this without you."

"Oh look, we’re here. And look, a nice hot pool to drown you in, you crazy elf." Dorian lunged at her and she shrieked, darting behind Bull.

"I’m not saving you from him," Bull said, stepping out of Dorian’s way. "I’d like to get some later, if you know what I mean."

"We’re all very aware of what you mean," Solas said, watching the two younger mages dart laughing around the edge of the pool, a faint smile on his face. "As we were the last five times the tent has fallen down on you two because you’ve gotten too energetic."

"Oh yeah. Good times."

"Stop talking about sex, Bull," Revas complained, and Dorian took advantage of her distraction to grab her and lift her up off her feet.

"Now to commence with the drowning!"

"If I have to go in with my clothes on, so do you," she said, wrapping her legs around him to kick hard into his knees with her heels. Both went pinwheeling into the steaming pool.

"Sometimes I forget just how young you all are," Solas remarked, leaning against his staff to watch the waves sent rippling through the pool. "And then things like this happen."

"I can’t tell if that was hot or just funny," Bull said with a laugh.

"Did either of them bring a spare change of clothes?"

"Nope," Bull replied a wide smile.

Dorian bobbed up, sputtering. “I quit. I’m moving to Val Royeaux to get away from you people, I don’t care how much they glare at me from behind their masks. Anything is better than this. This was my only heavy coat!”

"How could we tell?" Solas asked. "You’ve cut off one sleeve."

"I like it," Bull said, leering at the wet man.

Dorian was cut off from answering by clothes floating up to the surface. “There’s a naked elf girl in here with me, isn’t there?”

"Yes!" Bull moved closer, peering into the water. Solas looked over the pool and chuckled softly before taking a seat.

There was a high girlish shriek, and Dorian kicked away from where he had been treading water. “Sweet Andraste, there are animals in here. Lavellan, I hate you,” he shouted. “No hot springs is worth getting nibbled on by small furry things.” He kicked towards the nearest low ledge, occasionally floundering as something brushed around him underwater.

"Too cold here for most mammals, especially the swimmers," Bull remarked.

"Yes, well, tell to that to whatever keeps tugging on my arms."

A small white furry otter popped up out of the water between him and the ledge and he flailed backwards with a shout. It shimmered and grew until it was Revas, laughing brightly. "Creators, your face," she choked out between peals of laughter.

He lunged forward, dunking her in the water and hauling himself up out of the water while she spluttered. "I am setting fire to all your clothes and then we will see who has the last laugh."

"You should get out of yours before you get a chill," she replied, paddling over to where her clothes littered the surface like leaves.

"Trying to get me out of my clothes, are you? I must warn you, we could never be."

"Dorian you are quite possibly the most beautiful human I have ever met," he preened, fixing his mustache, "-but the only person here who wants in your pants is Bull. Now drop them. Don’t make me come over there and do it for you."

"I wish Varric was here, he’s never going to believe this when I tell him,” Bull said as Dorian gaped.

"You would, wouldn’t you? Feral barbarian elf that you are. I liked you better when I thought you shy and reserved." He peeled off his sodden coat and draped it on a tree branch."My hatred for the two of you is unending like the heat of the desert sun."

"I couldn’t pay for this kind of show. Can this be interactive?"

"Please no," Solas said quickly, his eyes avoiding Dorian peeling off the rest of his clothes and Revas climbing out of the water, clothes bundled in her arms, unashamed of her nudity.

"Such prudery, hahren," she mocked gently, spreading her clothes out on mostly snow-free rocks. "Have you never seen naked people before? Did your research of the Dalish miss the complete lack of body modesty that comes from living on top of each other?" Solas responded by slowly looking her up and down, smirking at the blush that stained her face as his gaze returned to her eyes.

Bull snorted. “And here I thought Dalish was just fucking with Stitches.”

"She probably is," Revas said with a giggle.

"I’ve seen you blush at naked people, Lavellan, you liar." Dorian, unconcerned with his nudity, was laying a hand to his hanging clothes and steaming them gently.

"You were having sex, Dorian, it’s a completely different sort of nudity."

"Usually," Bull agreed. "Ohhh, I remember that. How far down did that blush go, boss? Your shirt was too buttoned up for me to tell, but your breasts were definitely pink."

"Embarrassed by sex, da’len? Now who’s prudish?" Solas asked with a chuckle, his eyes meeting hers.

"I was interrupting an intimate moment-"

"Couple of hours, more like," Bull interjected.

"Yes, thank you, I had had to listen to it." She followed Dorian’s example and laid a hand to her clothes, but instead of steam hissing, the water sluiced away.

"They’re going to be freezing when you put them back on," he criticized.

"Still warmer than this cold air. You’ve singed a couple spots," she replied sweetly.

"Venhedis!" he swore. "Stop distracting me. You’re very naked."

"You’re the one who threw me in the pool, you’ve only yourself to blame."

"Bless you, Dorian," Bull said gratefully, eyes flicking back and forth between the two mages. "You’re coming with us next time we come here dragon hunting, right?"


"I’ve never seen a white otter before," Solas remarked. "Do all your forms lack color?"

"Probably has to do with the hair," Bull said, eyes on Dorian as the mage redressed, clucking to himself as he found small holes burnt into the fabric.

"Probably. I haven’t really bothered to check since it happened."

"You should," Solas said. "It’s important to keep up with any changes you might have undergone while in the Fade."

She paused in buttoning up her shirt. "If you’re looking for a private viewing, emma lath, you’ll have to wait until after I’m no longer magically exhausted from fighting a dragon."

"I’ll hold you to that," he said, his gaze heated.

"What else can you do? A bear? No, one of those war nugs. That’d be great."

"Sorry to disappoint, Bull, but I don’t really know any forms that would do well in combat. That’s really not what Keeper magic is intended for."

"Bet you she can turn into a halla," Bull said to Dorian. She blushed, which was answer enough.