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A Tale of a Leek

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Shane had been married to the farmer for exactly 3 days before it rained again. And by again, he means she had proposed on the last rainy day they’d had, less than a week ago.
Dear Yoba, has it not even been a week?
The passage of time at her farm seems different. His three days here had felt like so much longer and yet barely even that at the same time. He had helped some with her chores (mostly looking after the coop animals, if he were honest. She did most of the work), hang around while his new wife tended to her crops (he probably spent too much time staring and not enough time actually offering to help, now that he thought of it).
But today, with the rain coming in, he didn’t even want to step foot outside. She had an automatic feeder in the coop and had stacked her barn up with feed for her one cow, so Shane figured that was it and they could spend a lazy day inside together, right?
She had actually laughed in his face when he suggested it.
Of course he had stalked off after that. What else was he supposed to do? And, of course, she had followed, draping herself across his shoulders like she did when she was comforting him while drunk and incoherent. “The crops still need work and I can’t completely ignore the animals today. Plus, the salmonberries I’ve been keeping an eye on are ripe today! I shouldn’t be too long, maybe out until noon, if that,” she explained. “I love you.” She kissed his unshaved cheek and headed for the door then, figuring he wasn’t up for farm work today and seeming just fine with that.
Shane grumbled to himself again, looking around the farmhouse that still seemed semi foreign to him, especially now that he was here without his new wife to keep him company. Oh well. Time to find something to do, right?

She hadn’t been expecting a letter. It was from Granny, asking for a leek for George. When was the last time she had seen a wild leek? It had been a while, for sure. But, it wasn’t like she had been purposefully looking for one either; shouldn’t be too hard to find, right?
Walking out into her field of crops, a spark of delight traveled up her spine. Her blue jazz flowers were ready! Ooo, and her bean crops had sprouted again! Tugging her rain hat tighter on her head, she set to work, carefully extracting the flowers and beans, making sure the rest of her crops were sturdy enough to stand the downpour and didn’t need any additional supports to prevent being waterlogged. When she was finally satisfied there, she moved on to the barn, giving her cow a good bit of love before milking her and moving on to the coop.
While the rain relieved her of her biggest chore, watering the crops, it created a whole new monster of a problem: her coop. While it was as large as Robin would make one of the enclosures, it was still crammed with chickens, ducks, rabbits and yes, even dinosaurs. Don’t ask where she got them from; she’s still not sure if they’re just weird lizards or what.
Back to the point; the coop was a flurry of activity. While her lone cow didn’t seem to mind being in the barn for a day, her coop animals were extremely upset at not being allowed out for a day, and they made their displeasure known. Loudly. The cacophony of noise bounced off the walls, making the coop seem even more crowded than it normally was.
Shuffling around the animals and their droppings, she made her way to the feeder to ensure it was properly set up for the day before carefully maneuvering around to collect the eggs for the day. The damn birds had lay boxes, why didn’t they use them! No no no, instead they had to scatter the eggs all about the coop each night. Damn useless boxes.
The adventure in the coop took way longer than she had anticipated. The hands on her watch were already enaring eleven and she hadn’t even started on her salmonberry hunt! Well, surely Shane won’t be too upset if I’m a little late? I did tell him what I was doing today after all.
There was a small voice in the back of her head that said maybe she should go back and tell him that she was behind schedule, but she pushed it aside. She wouldn’t be that late!

Oh dear Yoba, she was late! Her watch was clicking up to five as she found herself on the mountain top ner Robin’s and she felt a chill run down her back. Shane was going to be having a fit when she got back. As quickly as she could she gathered up the berries she could see and set off down the path that would take her to the northern portion of her farm.
She finally walked in the house just past 5:30. All the lights were off and it was eerily quiet inside, especially since her dog snored when he slept.
She quietly turned and shucked her waterlogged boots off at the door, tossing her hat and raincoat on top of them. Her shirt and pants were fairly wet too, but she still wasn’t confident enough to walk across her house mostly naked, even when she had lived alone. Finally, she flicked the lights on…
...And found Shane at the kitchen table, a beer in his hands, staring at her blankly.
“Hey,” she greeted weakly. “So, um… I got a little caught up in my berry picking. And Granny Evelyn asked if I could find her a leek so I was trying to find that and gather the berries while I did that but I never actually ended up finding the stupid leek and then the sun was going down and I was like holy shit how long has it been surely it’s not actually that late and-”
Shane finally stopped her rambling with a simple question. “A leek?”
“Um. Yes?” Why was that what caught his attention? He looked at her with confusing and slight anger on his face. Why was he angry??
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Wait. “Do you not know what a leek is, Shane?”
“I know what a damn leak is. I just don’t understand how piss is gonna make the old man happy.”
If Shane wasn’t getting angrier with every word, she might have burst out laughing again. Because that had ended so well this morning.
“Shane… a leek is a vegetable. It’s like, a cousin to the onion.”
She could see his anger melting away, being replaced with embarrassment. Then her giggles started before she could control herself. Shane, in a very Shane-like move, stalked out of the kitchen and into their bedroom, shutting the door roughly behind him but not quite slamming it. This just caused her to laugh harder, bending over and clutching at her stomach.
A few minutes passed before she was able to get herself fully under control. Finally walking into her bedroom, she spots Shane laying on his side of the bed, his whole body tense. Walking over, she lays across him, hoping the pressure of her body weight helps soothe him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to be this late. I saw the letter when I checked the mail this morning and the longer I went without finding the stupid leek, the more I felt like I needed to find it.”
More silence responded to her. Great. She didn’t want to apologize for this.
“...And I’m sorry I laughed so hard. You didn’t know.”
Finally, she felt his body begin to relax under her. “I’m sorry I’m such an idiot,” he grumbled quietly.
Reaching over, she kissed him on the temple. “You’re not an idiot, Shane. Hell, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t know what one was if I didn’t like cooking so much.” A moment of comfortable silence passed between them as she let Shane absorb her words. “Hey, I found a crap ton of salmonberries today. Wanna help me make some jam?”
Shane pulled a face at that. “Who the hell even eats that?”
She grinned at him. “Oh, you’d be surprised, especially with the way I make it. Plus, if you’re extra nice to me, we can set some up as wine.”
That got her husband moving. She laughed as she stood upright, pulling him into a passionate kiss when he was up as well. When she pulled away, she was met with a still grim face. “You know I’m a shit cook, right?” he asked.
She patted his chest in reassurance. “It’s not that hard I promise!”
A long moment passed before Shane spoke again. “We better be making some damn wine to go with this jam.”