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Menu á Trois

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Pepper looked around the restaurant uneasily. "I feel like everyone's staring."

"Good," Tony said. "Because for anyone not to be staring at us, they'd either need to be dead, possess no taste whatsoever or both, and given this place's reputation, that would mean the food's really bad."

Rhodes looked up from the menu. "Half the things on here, I don't even know what they are."

"Which is why I offered to order for you, which you chose to interpret as me doubting your manhood," Tony said, gesturing at a waiter. "Which I don't, by the way - I think your manhood is excellent and very much not in any doubt whatsoever."

"If the food's no good, why did you want to go here?"

Tony smiled and ordered the wine. "Because it's easier and quicker than holding a press conference."

"I guess we can always get a cheeseburger, after," Rhodes said.

"Think bigger. Think two cheeseburgers, with extra fries and a coke." Tony picked up the menu and glanced at it and passed it on to Pepper. "Or pizza. Take it home, put on a nice movie, what do you say?"

"Ready when you are."

Pepper accepted the menu. "In that case, you might as well leave now. I mean, if you're going to do dinner all over again anyway."

"Excellent idea. I considered it, but then I thought it might be unkind to walk out of here without eating anything. That would imply I don't like the food. People might stop coming here."

"You don't like the food. And it's very overpriced."

"Well, clearly, someone is eager to leave. Was it my mentioning of Rhodey's manhood?"

Pepper put down the menu. "No, I don't think so."

"Must have been my natural charm and charisma, then," Tony said. "Thank you, I'm flattered. Not surprised, obviously, but flattered all the same. All right then, shall we?"