Actions

Work Header

bonus scenes

Work Text:

Method 9: Come back with style 

HOST  
Now we have method 9, come back with style. 

CO-HOST 
With all this time in quarantine, why not come back with the knowledge of makeup under your belt. 

HOST
Now to give us some makeup tips, Jenna! 

CAMERA up on JENNA’s room. 

JENNA’s set: white background if possible
JENNA’s costume: comfy casual 
                                   
JENNA
Hi, I’m Jenna and I have started the worthy endeavour of learning to do makeup. 
If you remember me from before, I never wore makeup except for nice occasions… and it was still pretty bad. 
But now I’m a makeup expert. First, we start with the foundation. 
(She holds the makeup towards the camera)
I’m using ELF, but use whatever you have. First, we drip it onto the skin and start to blend it in. 
(While she spreads the foundation)
I really like this step. It's very soothing. Not only do you get to see your face lose all human colouring. It's also super relaxing. Just look at my skin, no pores in sight. Don’t I already look so much better? 
The next step is baking. Take a big fuzzy brush and dab it in your translucent powder. Now put it under your eyes and on your cheekbones. We have to let it sit, or as we make-up artists call it, baking. 
As this sits, I often play on my phone while I wait. I love being on my phone, you learn so many things. Just like this- tips for zoom. 
      (She looks angrily at her phone)
Wait wait wait… let me check this first. I’m reading that there’s a touch up my appearance option for video. 
    (JENNA goes up to her camera and clicks on her computer.)
It's true… 
     (JENNA is hysterically upset)
Why did I waste hours upon hours learning such a useless task? Sure I may look better but at what cost. I spent so much money and I barely look better! This feature just makes you look good? Just like that? A click of my mouse! Ridiculous! 


HOST
Surely it doesn't come close to make up...
JENNA
It does! It's flawless. Look at how smooth my face is now! I could never come close with my foundation!

CO-HOST
But isn’t learning something to learn worth it? Shouldn’t you be proud of yourself?

JENNA
Don’t be ridiculous! Results are what people are after. The quicker the better. I’m such a fool! Do you know how much I spent on this foundation! Too much! the makeup industry is a joke! I’m a joke!
 (JENNA begins uncontrollably sobbing.) 

  CAMERA back up on HOST 
HOST
...Maybe we should give her some space. I might wanna look into that video feature though. Seems pretty handy. 
CO-HOST
Getting off-topic!

 HOST
Next, we have Isabella to show us how to feel more confident with makeup. 

CO-HOST
Hopefully, she will be more helpful for viewers who want to get into makeup...

 
CAMERA up on ISABELLA 

 ISABELLA’s set: messy
 ISABELLA’s costume: aluminum hat and dishevelled clothing and war paint

ISABELLA 
Today is the day we take back our old lives. Today is it! 
 (She raises fist into the air with force) 
They have been deceiving us for too long, they have been behind COVID 19 all along, and we will not take it anymore! Remember back to November when the coronavirus first started in Wuhan? If the government truly cared about the people they would have intervened before it became a pandemic. 

Doesn't anyone find it strange that a month before the coronavirus pandemic, Bill Gates funded a meeting to discuss how to handle a pandemic if one arose? It was called Event 201... you can look it up for yourself. 

As teenagers, we often joke about the birds being robots for the government, but hasn’t anyone noticed there aren't as many birds out? Sure it may be spring and the birds might just be nesting, but it's ALOT less birds out than normal. 

Have you heard of 5G? Of course you have, but I’m gonna give you the inside details. Fun fact: Wuhan China was the first place 5G was tested.  Did you know the vaccine will react with 5G so they can track our brains? At the beginning of the coronavirus, all of the cases were around 5G towers. Coincidence? I think not!
 (She holders her eyes open with her hands)
It's amazing what you see once you open your eyes. They can try to say that we’re in this together, but we know better. 
 (She gets really close to the camera)
Did you know it's impossible for COVID19 to have started with a bat, in order for a virus to survive in a human it has to adapt, and that takes many years? People are ignoring basic biology.  The coronavirus isn’t real. It was faked so we would stay inside of our houses. So the government could control us easier -because sheep are easier to control when by themselves. 
 (Yelling)
Rise up people! We’re not sheeple! 

CAMERA up on HOST

HOST (in shock)
Holy smokes! So that was Isabella…

CO-HOST
Y’know she kinda has a point with the government not intervening. Not saying I totally agree but, what if they didn’t intervene because they saw us younger people uniting and didn’t want that?

HOST
Eh, I'm not buying it. But do you know what my favourite conspiracy theory is?

CO-HOST
What? 

HOST
That Zoom is behind the whole thing!

CO-HOST
But why would they? That's ridiculous!

HOST
They did it so they could be at the top of the app store. Do you know how big Zoom has gotten since all of this? 

CO-HOST (sarcastically)
and what's next? Purell was in on it too?

HOST (making a big discovery) 
Come to think of it… both of their logos are blue! Did I just make a discovery?

CO-HOST
You absolutely did not. That's absurd. 

HOST
Do you think I could make it as a conspiracy theorist? 

CO-HOST
You have the same chances as any other person with a crazy idea. 

HOST
So you saying my zoom-purell team up theory is the next 5G tower theory?

CO-HOST
You have your head in the clouds. 

HOST
You might be right. Let’s wrap up, shall we?

CO-HOST
Lead the way future theorist. 

HOST
(To the audience)
Thank you all for tuning on how to survive quarantine. 

HOST
And this is us tuning out. Stay safe...

CO-HOST
...and be smart.. Unlike them! 

HOST (interjecting)
Hey!

CO-HOST (not listening)
See you next time!