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Ding-dong Paul McCartney is Dead

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Oh the evil F!!!! She cast R and Paul into the sun forever!! How tragic!!! How evil!! How can we deal with such evil on our hands?????

We can't.

We're dead. This is the real story of how Paul McCartney died and the origin story of DA BAND!!!


In our last episode......

They floated away into the sun and ended up like Icarus. Together burned as chicken nuggets. F laughed.


As you can see, F is truly evil. She cast R and Paul into the sun and they died. This was in 1964. It was only in 1966 that the beatlemaniacs stated to catch on that Paul was dead. They thought it was because he fell off the motorcycle but this couldn't be further from the truth. The beatlemaniacs began spreading the rumor that Paul was dead and John started to worry. Was Paul really dead? So he asked Paul (or faul, who it really was,) 

"Are you dead?" 

"Yes, tragically," Faul said. John was shocked!!

"You aren't dead! You are right here in front of me!"

"Ah yes but I am actually Faul!" Faul said intelligently.

"Oh. Faul do you love me?" John asked.

"No!" Faul cried. "For I am in love with Shakespeare himself. I'm sorry but I cannot love you." He disappeared in a puff of glittery marijuana smoke. 

"Wow how did you make your marijuana glittery?" John asked. "Bob never taught us to do that!" But Faul wasn't there to hear it for he had gone to be with his true love William Shakespeare. Then John realized something! William Shakespeare was dead! How did Faul fall in love with him? Did he time travel? Did he *gasp* did he bring William Shakespeare back from the dead? If that was the case, he truly needed to find Faul both so he could learn how to do glittery weed which was surely much better than lsd and so he could find Paul and bring him back from the dead. 

John chased after Faul even though he couldn't see what he was chasing because Faul was a glittery cloud of weed smoke until they got to london. Wow he was tired! How did Faul run so fast? Now he knew for sure that this wasn't Paul. Paul ran much faster than Faul. He was practically the flash!!

Wait no, that wasn't out yet.

He was practically a super fast person!! 

Anyway, John caught up to Faul and found him and Willy kissing. 

"Omg my eyes!" He screamed. 

"Sorry," they said but they didn't stop kissing. 

"Excuse me! Rude!" John said in french but they didn't understand him because they only speak english and latin which was a dead language. Dead like they were about to be if they didn't stop kissing. "Excuse me rude!" John said again but in english this time. He pushed them apart. "Five feet for our lord and saviour Taylor Swift!" He reprimanded. 

"Sorry," they said and stayed five feet away because they really really respected Taylor Swift even though they didn't know who she was.

"How did you bring Willy here back from the dead?" John asked Faul.

"Oh that's easy! I just used a little dark magic and yoinkethed his soul away from hell."   

"Oh yeah you're right that's so easy!" John already knew dark magic because he learnt it whilst filming Help! So he reached into hell and yoinked away Paul's soul. Paul's body appeared and then Paul was alive!! But he very rudely forgot about R. "I love you!" John said.

"Sorry I'm married," said Paul. "But maybe later." 

"Oh okay," said John. But after 5 years of no R Paul forgot about her and married to John instead even though it wasn't legal. They are the Beatles though so they get special powers and when they explained this to the pope or whoever marries people he understood so they were able to get married. In fact, the pope or whoever gets people married also had a secret boyfriend so they had a double wedding, NO GIRLS ALLOWED SORRY!!! 


Meanwhile R had gotten reincarnated into a baby named Eyebrow......