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My Voice

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I think I’m in love with you.

Corpse stared at Sykkuno with wide eyes, his mouth hanging slightly open. He wasn’t expecting him to say that because, in his mind, he was going to be the one to say it first. His boyfriend tended to be too shy for stuff like that but he also initiated a lot of their cuddles and kisses today. Not that Corpse was complaining, he loved when Sykkuno was forward. Because usually, it would end with the brunette in a blubbering, blushing mess which was beyond adorable. 

But this just left him speechless if you excuse the fact he’s mute. He wasn’t upset by the revelation, he’s pretty sure he’s been in love with Sykkuno since he first saw him. Corpse didn’t think he felt the same, and staring at him now, with his hands on his hips. The senior was all but straddling him, his arms loosely around his neck but he couldn’t focus on that now. Those words kept bouncing around in his head. And eventually, Sykkuno began to get up with tears brimming in his eyes. He took too long to answer. 

Corpse grabbed his wrist to pull him back down, earning a surprised squeak from the shorter man. He grounded Sykkuno on his lap, looking up at him with determination. He was going to do this right because his boyfriend didn’t deserve any less. 

“I…” His throat was dry and tense, the words coming out strained. If the TV hadn’t turned off from lack of use, Sykkuno probably wouldn’t have heard it. Corpse forced himself to swallow and meet his eyes once again. The tears that were forming have since disappeared and all he saw was encouragement. 

“Lo-” His vocal cords cut out halfway through and he felt Sykkuno start massaging his scalp with one hand.

“I lo-” Corpse’s grip tightened on Sykkuno’s hips, shutting his eyes to keep the tears back. He told himself he was going to confess his feelings when he was able to actually voice them. He wanted Sykkuno to hear the words leave his mouth. He could put up with his voice not working during speech therapy and he would gladly deal with the pain of talking so soon, he would do anything right now to just say those three words. 

Corpse didn’t realize he was crying until he felt those soft hands on his cheeks, pulling his attention to those warm brown eyes. He was smiling, brushing the curls that had fallen in front of his eyes away. He learned that whenever he was sad or overwhelmed, Sykkuno would do small little things like that. Corpse absolutely loved it (of course, he loved everything about the adorable man in front of him). 

“Don’t hurt your throat for me, Corpse.” He peppered his face with little kisses until Corpse was smiling, which didn’t take long at all. The raven-haired man found himself pulling him into a hug so he could hide his face away in the crook of his neck. And maybe sneak a little peck on his collar bone that definitely made Sykkuno shiver.  He allowed himself to pull away, running a finger up and down his wonderful boyfriend’s spine. Corpse didn’t understand what he did to deserve such a wholesome human being. 

‘I just want to tell you with my voice’  He signed, huffing as he flicked his throat. It didn’t hurt of course but it was his way of letting his vocal cords know he was upset with them. Sykkuno giggled, pulling a blanket off of his bed to wrap them up in. They had about 30 minutes before Corpse would have to leave for his therapy appointment and he was more than okay with them spending the rest of it cuddling. 

“You can always just sign it to me.” Sykkuno offered but Corpse absolutely refused to do that. He made it his goal to say it out loud and that’s what he’s gonna do. He shook his head vigorously making Sykkuno smile. 

‘The first time I say it to you, I want you to be able to hear it’ He was a little worried Sykkuno would be upset with the prospect of him holding out on saying it back but the way the brunette smiled, so wide and sincere, washed his anxiety away. Who knew all he needed was a cute senior to cute his anxiety issues. 

“And I’ll l-love you just as much.” The blush that crossed his cheeks made him swoon. The best part about dating Sykkuno was he learned how to do that on a whim. Did he use that to his advantage? Absolutely. Every chance he got. They spent the rest of the time cuddling just like that, Sykkuno situated comfortably on Corpse’s lap while the younger man would occasionally leave a kiss on his neck or get lost in the way his hair felt against his face. 

But all good things must come to an end and soon, his mom came knocking at the door to announce they had to leave. Corpse frowned, engulfing Sykkuno in a hug like he was never going to see him again. The brunette laughed, squeezing him back with just as much gusto. Corpse whined (his version of whining is making a pouty face) when Sykkuno removed himself from where he was sitting, giggling at him. 

Speech therapy was difficult, to say the least. It wasn’t what Corpse expected and it was an unbearably slow process. But at the same time, it was that way to ensure he didn’t hurt his vocal cords. They were very fragile at the moment so the hour was usually spent doing a few vocal exercises to strengthen his cords. They didn't do too many, for obvious reasons, but his therapist said as more time passed, they would do more difficult exercises until he was able to talk without his voice cutting out on him. 

And as always, his throat was in so much pain by the time it was over. For over a year, he hadn’t been using his vocal cords what-so-ever. There had never been a point where he wondered if his voice came back so he never just tried. In the back of his mind, he wondered if he would care about talking if he wasn’t dating Sykkuno. Probably not.

He had to eat soft foods for dinner, so his mom made him mashed potatoes. He didn’t eat too much because he didn’t want to deal with his acid reflux too much tonight. It always made it harder for him to sleep that way. But the texts he got from Sykkuno helped lull him to a peaceful rest. 

The week of their finals was stressful, to say the least, and Corpse definitely had several panic attacks. Sykkuno was just as nervous as him so when that week ended to indicate the start of winter break. Right now, Corpse found himself with their groups of friends at Leslie’s house. It was Toast, Leslie, Lily, Michael, Rae, Poki, Scarra, Sykkuno, Sean, and Felix as they were all taking turns playing Super Smash Bros. The rules were the last five people had to switch with the five that weren’t playing. Of course, Sykkuno lost every single time (it was a recurring theme) and Corpse did better than he thought. Admittedly, it helped that Sykkuno was sitting between his legs, leaning against his chest and Corpse wanted to show off for his boyfriend. 

After about an hour, Corpse signed to ask Leslie where the bathroom was. Sykkuno couldn’t see it so he was hoping Jack would be able to translate for him but instead, Leslie smiled and told him it was down the hall to the right. Corpse didn’t move, only staring at her with wide eyes. He didn’t know Leslie knew sign language. In fact, he distinctly remembered her not being able to understand it. 

‘How?’ The game had since paused, everyone’s attention was on Corpse. Usually, that would make him nervous but he trusted this group of people more than anything. Toast was the one to answer this time. 

‘Sean has been teaching us.’ Despite the fact Toast was a maniacal genius, he was a nice guy. 

‘We want to be able to talk to you.’ Lily signed with a smile. Her’s was sloppier than Leslie and Toast’s but he still appreciated the sentiment nonetheless. If he was tearing up a little bit, no one

‘Thank you, guys.’ Sykkuno was rubbing the back of his hand comfortingly, a small smile on his lips. Corpse had a sinking suspicion that his boyfriend was the mastermind behind all this. He decided to tell his friends he was getting his voice back and they were happy for him, but they didn’t pressure him into trying to say anything, which he appreciated. 

The rest of the night was spent planning things they were going to do over break. They wanted a white elephant which he was looking forward to. Never would he have thought that he would have such an amazing group of friends that wanted to include him in everything. It was an unfamiliar feeling but it was welcoming. 

Corpse was able to convince his parents to let him spend the night, they were in a huge group after all. The girls were going to sleep in Leslie’s room while the boys slept in the living room downstairs. They had gone to sleep some time ago so right now, it was just Toast, Sean, Felix, Scarra, Michael, Sykkuno, and Corpse talking in the living room now. Sean, Felix, and Michael were arguing about something he didn’t care much about while Toast and Scarra talked about what they were going to do when they graduate. Corpse and Sykkuno were on the couch, the younger man laying his head on the brunette’s lap as he played with the curls of his hair. They weren’t talking about anything and if he were being honest, the soft motions were enough to make him fall asleep. 

Maybe his life was really changing for the better. 

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Somehow, Sykkuno had managed to convince Corpse to bake cupcakes with him. They talked about cooking together once before but the raven-haired man insisted he was terrible at it. Sykkuno, on the other hand, loved to bake and he wanted to share that skill with his boyfriend. He was more than okay teaching him though. 

It was a Wednesday, but it’s not like they had school anyhow. Sykkuno had all the supplies set out in front of him and a pink apron tied around his waist. Corpse refused to wear an apron but he did ditch the black hoodie for a white v-neck instead. He decided to put on black ripped skinny jeans which was definitely an A+ look in his opinion. He didn’t think he would be into the goth look but Corpse pulled it off immaculately. 

‘I’m not good at baking.’ His boyfriend signed with a frown and Sykkuno giggled, pulling out several measuring cups before instructing Corpse what to do. The other man was able to follow them well and soon enough, they had perfect cupcake batter to pour into the muffin molds for baking. Sykkuno did that part because quite frankly, Corpse already made a huge mess and he wanted to make a full batch of cupcakes. 

Once they were poured, Sykkuno used the oven mitts laying on the counter to slide the baking pan where it needed to be. It needed to cook for about 15 minutes so he figured they could clean while they were in the oven. But when he turned around, he was met with flour being flung at him, landing on his apron. Corpse was smiling, his hands covered in the white powder. Sykkuno giggled, making his way over to where Corpse stood by the island. He grabbed as much flour as he could and proceeded to dump it over his black curls. 

Sykkuno bursts out laughing, the top of his boyfriend’s head was coated with flour. Corpse grabbed him by the shoulders and shook out the powder so some of it would fall onto the brunette. He giggled once more, wrapping his arms around Corpse’s torso.

“It’s snowing!” Sykkuno cooed, earning an exhalation of air that resembled him laughing. Sykkuno rested his chin on Corpse’s chest, reaching up so he could pat the powder out of his perfect curls. The junior planted a kiss on his lips, far too short for Sykkuno’s understanding, before pulling away to start cleaning the kitchen. He pouted but followed suit. 

They somehow managed to get all the flour cleaned up after having another food fight and when the timer went off, he pulled the cupcakes out of the oven to set them on the freshly sanitized island. Corpse had since pulled out the vanilla frosting and Sykkuno got to work on transferring it from the container to the piping bag. He was just about to wipe off the icing when Corpse took hold of his wrist, bringing his hand up to his mouth to lick all of it from his fingers. He knew what he was doing, he knew that he was just trying to make his flustered. 

And it most definitely worked. 

“C-Corpse! Y-You can’t just-” He squeaked, covering his incredibly red face. All his boyfriend did was pluck the piping bag out of his other hand to start decorating the cupcakes. Shakily, Sykkuno filled the other bag before doing the same but the blush never left his cheeks. His mind lingered on the feeling of Corpse’s tongue. This man was really going to be the death of him. 

The cupcakes came out a little worse than he expected but in their defense, this was Corpse’s first time doing this and Sykkuno’s hands hadn’t stopped shaking since the...previous event. But, they did turn out delicious. Corpse gave him many compliments, Sykkuno told him it was a team effort, and they were back to cuddling on the couch. The raven-haired man has since gotten a lot more comfortable with physical contact. At first, it was simple hand-holding and hugs but he was a little reserved with it. Now, his favorite thing to do was to catch Sykkuno off guard to make him a blubbering mess. 

But he wasn’t the only one that could play that game. Corpse may not get as embarrassed as he does, but he’s learned how to make him smile or blush. It wasn’t easy though because his boyfriend was one of the calmest people he’s ever met. There were very few things anyone could do that would make Corpse lose his cool. He had seen it once when the news about them dating first spread. Jake, of course, took it upon himself to terrorize Sykkuno about it. Since his first interaction with Corpse, he tended to avoid him so that meant the brunette got the brunt of it. However, the junior found out about it and it was the first time he’d seen him so mad. He assumed he was like that too when he got shot but he was unconscious for that. 

It took everything in Sykkuno’s power to convince Corpse not to beat up Jake. He really didn’t want him to get suspended for beating the crap out of that bully. Even if he did deserve it. 

One of Corpse’s favorite things was when Sykkuno would be sitting on his lap like they do many times, and he would take the opportunity to drop a kiss on his neck. Each time, his ears would be graced with a sharp intake of air, his hands always intensifying in its grip. While neck kisses didn’t have the biggest effect on Sykkuno, it most certainly did on Corpse and he used that to his advantage. If he could get around his embarrassment anyway. 

“Hey Corpse?” He spoke up after a while, focusing on how the little braids he put in Corpse’s hair. His head tilted ever so slightly to show he heard him. Sykkuno’s fingers halted in his hair, instead, he observed the waves in his hair. 

“When I leave for college, what’s going to...happen to us?” Corpse turned around in his spot to face Sykkuno, cupping his cheek. His thumb stroked the skin along his cheekbone as he met his gaze. 

‘I will always be by your side.’ Corpse signed before pressing their lips together. It was a gentle kiss that reaffirmed the words he just said. Sykkuno smiled into it, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. 

‘You’re stuck with me.’ Corpse added after their little make-out session. Sykkuno giggled, slapping his arm gently because he couldn’t actually hurt him. 

“I’m glad to be.” They spent the rest of that night cuddling and kissing, imagining the future they would have together. Sykkuno had no doubts anymore; he and Corpse were in this for the long run.