One: Jack in Technicolor Fantasy
Daniel’s dreams were becoming more elaborate, more pornographic. Some had startled him, giving him highly eroticized scenes of forced sex. He’d started dwelling on them during the day, remembering how much he’d gotten off on them. He thought he should be bothered by it, but he wasn’t and didn’t understand when his desires had changed.
Psychologically, he knew what was going on in his dreams. His mind had grabbed hold of his renewed preference for men and had run with it. The presence of Jack and Jason were easily explained–well, after he’d accepted their presence in the first place.
They were men he felt secure with and his subconscious had used them to feed the desires he craved anew. They were safe avenues. Deep down, no matter how violent the images, he knew that it’d never happen, that they’d never hurt him and he’d never do anything to harm them in return. And so knowing that, he could indulge in them. His subconscious seemed to make sure he did, that was for certain.
The unnamed men in his dreams were probably facets of his lust, that raw desire to fuck and be fucked, to be swallowed by all those sensations of pleasure. But the man who tied him to his bed was not an unnamed desire. Daniel felt he represented his indecision as he ping-ponged back and forth between wanting nameless sex and a relationship. At the end of the dream, Daniel was always left unsatisfied. If he found a man who could give him both raw sex and a relationship, would the dream fade?
Daniel hadn’t done anything to quell the frustration in his body and mind, to get rid of the dreams once and for all by actively seeking out a partner. There were times where he preferred the dreams; they would give him whatever he wanted. Well, most of them would. He fleetingly wondered what Shau’re would have thought about this side of him but dismissed the thought as a pointless attempt to make himself feel guilty.
Daniel was relieved to find that regardless of his screwed up subconscious, he was still able to work, to put aside his distracted thoughts and focus on his job. It was the one sanity throughout the whole mess in his personal life.
At least it had been until last night. He’d had a rather disturbing, if amazingly good, dream, and today, he found it hard to concentrate due to the many times he’d woken up. Broken sleep was just as bad as a lack of it. He hated the lapse of concentration because it inevitably caused his focus to change and for the third time that day, he’d had to force himself to stop and rewind the video he’d been watching.
It wasn’t like him and it was getting on his nerves. He could feel the tension and knew that he had to get some sleep or he’d start snapping at people. With a sigh, he restarted the video of SG-11’s latest find and groaned when his stomach rumbled. He’d skipped lunch, trying to regain a foothold on his workload and he knew he shouldn’t have done it. Jack would come looking for him, sooner or later.
He rubbed at his eyes, trying to decide if he should just get up and walk to the mess hall when a hand laid on his shoulder. Daniel spun around, stumbling off his lab stool and Jack caught his arm, slightly startled himself.
“Oops. Sorry ’bout that.”
“Shit, Jack, don’t do that.”
“You missed lunch, Daniel,” Jack said.
He softened the words with a half-smile, the one that curiously made Daniel want to smack him and rip his clothes off. “Your point?” he asked, trying not to snap.
Jack let him go and gave his shoulder a soft slap. “See how missing lunch is not a good idea? You’re jumpy.”
Rolling his eyes, Daniel sat back down. “I got side-tracked.”
“That was two hours ago.”
“And now you come by? You’re a little late. Besides, my being startled has nothing to do with that. You snuck up on me.”
“I did not,” Jack protested, “but even if I had, you’d have picked up on it. You’re not that green anymore. Wanna talk about it?”
“C’mon, talk, tell me what’s got you so side-tracked.”
Jack then gave him that familiar look of concern that made Daniel feel like he was under a microscope. Forcing his voice to sound indifferent and calm, he said, “It’s nothing, Jack. Just having trouble sleeping.”
Jack peered more intently at him. “Nightmares?”
“No. It’s nothing, Jack, forget it.” But the look on Jack’s face said he wasn’t going to accept that answer so Daniel sighed, shut off the video, and got up. “Shouldn’t you be doing paperwork or bothering Sam?” he asked as he escaped to his desk. Away from Jack’s close proximity. When he looked back, Jack looked guilty and despite himself, Daniel grinned. “Ah. I take you’ve already been bothering her?”
Jack waved dismissively, pretending not to be embarrassed. “It’s your turn.”
“I’ll pass,” he said, then looked down, frowning at the discs he’d picked up absently. Setting them back on the desk, he added, “I should probably head out early, seeing as we have nothing immediate for the day. But more to the point, you’ll probably bug me until I commit assault or something so…”
Jack grinned as if in victory. “Busted.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he tilted his head and gave Daniel a long look that Daniel couldn’t interpret. The fact that he couldn’t bothered the hell out of him. “Listen, why don’t you come over, spend the night.”
Daniel stared at him, an instant of misinterpretation slamming through his brain. A second later, it hit him why Jack was really asking. “Thanks, but I have plans and I don’t need a babysitter.” Jack’s defenses went up and Daniel immediately regretted saying it. “Sorry,” he said, putting up a hand. “I appreciate the concern but–“
“What if I just wanted the company, Daniel. Ever think of that?”
“I… I did, yeah,” Daniel lied, the small voice inside screaming that he had to run and run fast.
Jack gave him another long look. “Hang on. You said plans. Are you going out?”
Daniel frowned at him. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear that was the sound of jealousy. Wishful thinking, he told himself, hating that he’d like Jack to be jealous.
“What makes you ask?” he asked, trying to rid himself of more images.
Jack shrugged. “You just never say you have ‘plans’.”
“Oh, well, unfortunately, the answer’s no.”
Jack’s expression turned to confusion. “To having plans?”
“To going out,” Daniel answered, resisting the urge to grin. But when Jack actually looked relieved, Daniel turned away to hide the flush he felt coming up on his face. “I wish I did have those kind of plans but no,” he added, voice subdued. When he turned back, he saw another look on Jack’s face, one he’d never seen. Compassion and desire. Daniel shook his head, telling himself that what he saw was concern, nothing more.
“If you change your mind, you know where I am,” Jack said quietly.
That was not an offer, no matter what it sounded like. “Thanks, but I’m fine,” Daniel demurred, turning away again to keep his face hidden.
“Fine, yes, you always say that Daniel, even when you’re not fine.”
Jack reached out and touched him on the shoulder once more and Daniel tensed. The touch was electric and sent immediate wistful pleasure throughout his body. All he wanted at that moment was to turn around and grab and clutch, rub against Jack till he was insane with it.
“I’ll be fine,” he managed to say.
Jack squeezed his shoulder. “Danny, you’re strung tighter than the proverbial harp string. Talk to me.”
Danny. Daniel closed his eyes, willing Jack to remove his hand, knowing that if he asked, that would only invite more questions. Since Jack wouldn’t remove his hand, Daniel took a few steps away, risking that Jack would take it for escape.
What Jack did instead was back away and go to the door. Daniel thought for a moment of regret that Jack was leaving, offended, but when the door closed and locked, Daniel turned around, eyes wide.
Jack walked straight toward him and Daniel took a step back. Not here, not here, not here, his mind screamed, snatching at some twisted hope that this was what it looked like. But it couldn’t be, could it?
“What’d you lock the door for?” he asked, grateful that his voice didn’t waver.
“You’re wired up tight, Daniel. We’re gonna talk if I have to annoy it out of you.”
“Jack, I’m just tired, that’s all! Had too much coffee today.”
“No, that’s not the reason. I’m pretty sure you’ve had coffee but it doesn’t have you climbing the walls like some people. With you, it’s something else.”
“And what’s that?” Daniel asked, crossing his arms.
“You’re jumpy, irritable, distracted. It’s not like you, so out with it.”
“It’s nothing, Jack, just leave it be,” Daniel implored.
“Look at your hand, Daniel,” Jack told him calmly, then grasped it. Daniel felt his hand shake under Jack’s hold. “That’s not caffeine. You could mainline it and it wouldn’t faze you.” Jack paused, and from the look on his face, he was getting ideas. All Daniel wanted right then was for Jack to let him go because if he didn’t…
He closed his eyes. “Do me a huge favor and let go of my hand.”
“Why?” Jack asked, drawing out the word playfully.
He thinks I’m teasing, Daniel thought sadly. “Um. Because.”
Reluctantly, Jack let go, that look of kindness still on his face. “I can try to help if you let me.”
“I have to do this myself,” Daniel replied, turning away.
“Well, it’s not working, Daniel. So it’s talk to me or talk to Fraiser, take your pick.”
Daniel’s eyes widened with shock and anger as he turned back. “That’s not fair.”
“What isn’t fair is you shutting yourself away, thinking you can handle stress by yourself. Trust me, that road goes nowhere.”
“Shutting myself away? I haven’t–“
“I’ve noticed, Daniel. So’ve Carter and Teal’c. You’ve been isolating yourself for the last month and it’s … it’s the real reason I’m here.”
“It’s nothing that I can’t handle, Jack. I don’t–“
“I can’t let you do this to yourself.”
“You can’t help,” Daniel said tiredly. “It’s just … nightmares.”
“Now I know that’s bullshit because earlier you said it wasn’t. What I do know is that what’s wrong is more than dreams or nightmares.”
Daniel stared at him, letting out a disbelieving laugh. “How do you know?”
“Because you’ve had nightmares before and you never reacted quite like this. So where do you get this idea that you’re alone?”
Blinking in confusion, Daniel asked, “What are you talking about?”
“Last time something like this happened, it was after Shau’re passed away. You remember those nasty stress migraines you got because you wouldn’t let anyone help?”
“Janet gave me–“
“Yeah, she gave you pills, but that was after the fact. Whatever’s going on this time, I’m telling you to let your friends help.”
Daniel wrapped his arms around himself, turning away. “It’s not … I can deal with it, Jack. Please stop trying.”
“Ain’t gonna happen,” Jack scowled as he got up and grabbed Daniel to turn him around. “I may not be the best person for this but screw it. Here I am. Talk to me.”
Daniel hated the fact that Jack was trying. “I can’t, Jack, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Yes, you can,” Jack encouraged, reaching up to grab his shoulder and part of his neck. A familiar hold that, right now, made Daniel hard. The touch sent a tremendous amount of feeling through him and he felt his knees wobble. Before he could stop himself, he said, “I lied. They’re not nightmares.”
Jack turned his head just a bit as he narrowed his eyes. “What are they?”
Daniel pulled back from his touch to escape behind the lab table, putting necessary distance between them. He ran his fingers along the edge of the table, staring at it as he said, “They’re very intense dreams. I’ve been having them for the last few months.” Looking up, he added, “I’m losing sleep because of them.”
“Months? This has been going on for months?”
Jack moved toward him so unexpectedly that it startled Daniel a second time. But this time, he was at least facing him so he was able to take a warning step backward as he held up a hand. “Calm down. I’m getting used to it, kinda of. With our job the way it is, I have to. It’s just that the last couple of days have been a little more intense than usual and, well, it’s tiring.” At the frown on Jack’s face, Daniel returned it, saying, “No, I don’t want to take pills so–“
Jack shook his head slowly. “You’re fibbing. It’s been going on a lot longer than a few days.”
“What?” Daniel asked, startled again. He abruptly sighed and shaded his eyes, wishing the blush of embarrassment would fade quickly. He should have known better than to think Jack wouldn’t have noticed. “I thought I’d been covering pretty well.”
“I noticed. Normally, I can dismiss a couple of days’ grouchy behavior, but this? Something has been wrong for weeks and I’ve been waiting for you to either come to me or Jason. Why haven’t you talked to him about it? He’s noticed, Daniel. How do you think he feels, being shut out?”
“I didn’t want to burden him with–“
“Dammit, Daniel, next to me, he’s your best friend. He cares about you. I care about you.”
Daniel half-laughed, wondering if Jack knew how much like a lover he sounded.
“That’s funny?” Jack asked indignantly.
“No, no, I’m s—it’s just that I can’t talk about these dreams.”
Jack’s eyes widened slightly as he reached for him again but Daniel stepped back, stopping him. Jack dropped his hand and seemed about to say something about Daniel’s constant retreats, but instead, he surprised Daniel with his annoyingly accurate intuition.
“Daniel, if they’re the kind of dreams that I think they are, you really should be able to talk to your best friend.”
Daniel stared at him, wanting to hit him for being so goddamned accurate. “Jack, I’ve never talked to anyone about this stuff. Not a best friend in high school or college and definitely not at work. I can’t tell you, I can’t tell Jason. And I can’t tell you why. They’re just … very personal.”
“I don’t see what difference it makes if they’re waking you up in the middle of the night.”
Daniel swallowed again, wishing he’d never opened up. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”
“Daniel, we have that naquada survey in the morning.”
Daniel squeezed his eyes tight. “Shit.” When he opened them, Jack was staring with surprise.
Daniel could do nothing but sigh.
“That does it,” Jack said firmly. “We’ll be offworld for two days. Before we come home, you’re telling me about those dreams. And you’re getting some sleep if I have to drug you. Carter, Teal’c, and I will pull guard duty.”
“It’s a cake walk mission, so don’t argue.”
Jack held up that warning finger and Daniel bit back his words. He fervently hoped that Jack was right and that he would get some sleep. He didn’t relish the idea of waking up in the middle of the night and then having to lie to Jack about the reason for it.
. . . . .
The mission had started out well, even if Daniel had nothing to do but look around for signs of ancient habitation while Sam and Teal’c performed the naquada tests and Jack walked around, looking bored.
They’d been offworld for two days now and exhausted, Daniel had inadvertently done what Jack had told him to do. That first night, he’d dropped off into a deep sleep and hadn’t awoken until the next morning. There’d been no dreams and for that, Daniel had been exceedingly grateful. That night would be their second night on the planet and Daniel hoped for a repeat of the night before.
After being relieved by Jack, Daniel entered the tent he shared with him, stripped down to his briefs and got into his sleeping bag. Before going to sleep, he made sure that the small battery light was on so that Jack didn’t return to a darkened tent. Although a typically considerate thing for him to do, Daniel did it mostly out of self-preservation. Jack had a tendency to step on him in the dark.
. . .
Daniel woke up–at least, he thought he did. He was nude and something was restraining his wrists. Was that why he’d woken up? No. He knew he’d been asleep, knew he still was. He was home, in his own bed. The lamp was on and the pale glow of light through his window said it was sunset. Pulling again at his wrists, he tried to focus on whatever held them. It felt like silk but without his glasses, he couldn’t be sure.
One thing he was sure about was that the dream was like the others. It had the sensation of reality, though there were things about it that were obviously off. A hint lay with the silk and how it was colored. It seemed to be dyed of many colors, a psychedelic kaleidoscope of them, as if someone had thrown streaks of color over a sheet of white silk and cut it into strips.
Looking away, he tried to focus on other things, convinced that if he just looked around, he’d wake up. But that didn’t happen. Instead, he became more and more aware of his own predicament. His hands were shoulder-width apart so he had some movement. Gripping the mattress, he pulled himself forward and found that the ties disappeared beyond the mattress and under the headboard. He thought about lifting the mattress but at that moment, Daniel felt his skin prickle with warning. Experience told him that whoever had done this to him was still in the room.
His legs were unencumbered so he pulled up his knees quickly, managing to sit up and look over his shoulders. It was dark beyond the bed and he saw only black shadows that sent tingles down his spine. If this had really been his room, that sort of darkness would’ve been impossible. The lamp would have made it so.
Losing his patience, he braced his feet against the bottom of the board and pushed, trying to loosen or break the bonds. After a few minutes, he was forced to give up. The silk around his wrists was too well tied and whatever they were secured to wasn’t budging. Damning silk for being a strong substance, he sighed and dropped his chin to his chest, thinking about what else he could do.
Sometime later–minutes, seconds, hours, he didn’t know, the room darkened gradually as if someone were turning down an adjustable light.
A man in strange, shadowy silhouette stepped out from the shadowy corners of the room. Before Daniel could do anything, he found his ankles grasped by very strong hands. He wondered, briefly, when he’d altered his sitting position to kneeling, but the thought evaporated when his legs were pulled out from underneath and he was forced to lie on his stomach again.
“Who are you? What do you want?” he yelled, even knowing that last one was a stupid question. He was nude and bound to the bed. What the man wanted was obvious and Daniel felt his dick swell with excitement.
As if on cue, the voice asked, “Want to have a little fun, Daniel?”
Daniel meant to say ‘no’ but found himself answering, “Yes.” Guilt had him backtracking immediately. “No, I mean, that’s not what I meant!”
“I think it was.” The shadowy figure reached into his bedside table and pulled out the lube and the new dildo that had been bought a week ago. Daniel’s heart began to pound, wondering why the hell this was freaking him out. Wasn’t this what he’d been getting off on lately?
“No, wait,” he started but let his protests fade. The fear was oddly stimulating and even though he wasn’t sure if he liked it, his body reacted in time-honored fashion to the arousal.
Again without warning, his legs were pulled apart and he gasped in alarm, then gasped more sharply when he felt the tip of the lubed dildo rubbing his asshole. A groan escaped whether he wanted it to or not and shudder of warm pleasure shot through his balls and cock.
“Oh god,” escaped his throat when the man slowly pushed the dildo inside him.
“No, wait,” Daniel grimaced, even though there was no pain.
“You want it, Daniel. Spread open for it. For me.”
“I don’t even know who you are!” he yelled, following it with a moan as the dildo filled him. Not waiting for him to adjust, he was suddenly and amazingly pleasured, fucked slow and deep in a continuous circling rhythm, each pass over his prostate sending tingling waves down his legs.
“Ohgodohgod, no, stop this,” he choked. When the dildo was tipped and began to massage his gland more directly, Daniel forgot all about saying ‘no’ to anything else.
A hand on his dick startled him, pulling sharply, a little painfully, eliciting a muffled cry from his lips as he bit into the sheets. Different spikes of pleasure zipped through him now as the stranger stroked him roughly, alternating with the pumping movements of the dildo.
“Fuck me,” he mumbled into the mattress. “Oh god, please, fuck me.”
He pulled and pulled at the bonds, but not in any effort to release himself. Daniel wanted more, so much more. He wanted to touch and scratch and press and bruise. He could feel the pleasure, acute and good, build up the heat in his balls. When he felt the rise of his climax, he tensed… and a strap came down on his ass.
For a moment, the shock was enough to have him wondering ‘why?’–then the dildo was removed and another hit came down. And another. They weren’t painful, exactly, just sharp and warm, the stings growing hot as time passed. He wanted to ask why he was being hit, but he didn’t. He liked it.
“You want this,” his unknown lover said.
“Yes, yes, please!”
Then the hand on his cock slipped away and the hits abruptly stopped. Daniel realized the stranger was leaving. “No, no!” he cried out, his throat harsh and dry. He wanted him to come back, needed him to come back… to finish him, to bring him off.
“Come back,” he called out. “Come back!”…
After stripping down to his t-shirt and shorts, Jack laid down and settled on his side. Concentrating on his breathing, he let his mind wander, purposely not focusing on anything so he could relax and fall asleep. It had only been a few minutes when he caught the sound of a moan. Faint, breathy, and a sound he’d heard from Daniel quite often during their overnight missions so he paid it no mind until he heard it again, deeper this time.
He paused his breathing, listening to Daniel move around in his sleeping bag, and when he figured that Daniel might be having a restless night, he opened his eyes to see if he could determine if he was having one of those dreams again, whatever they were. At least he could help this time by being there.
When Daniel moaned again, the sound was different and very distinct. The hairs on his arms rose and goosebumps pebbled over his skin. This was definitely not a nightmare. Daniel lay on his stomach, arms over his head, legs pushing at the unzipped sleeping bag. Jack watched, mesmerized by the way his friend moved, the way he writhed, and swallowed convulsively when Daniel’s hips started to rhythmically thrust.
Jack felt a warm flush of arousal, followed quickly with guilt for watching him. But he couldn’t look away. Through the briefs Daniel wore, he could easily see the clenching of his buttocks while his hands fisted the sleeping bag on either side of his head. Jack frowned, wondering what was going on in Daniel’s mind, but didn’t need to wait long for the answer. Daniel suddenly spread his legs and raised his ass slightly, moaning a few muffled words into his small pillow. They were barely distinct, but Jack caught two of them: “Fuck me.”
Heat suffused Jack’s face and body as arousal claimed his senses. The realization only made him stare, frozen in place, while his dick lengthened and filled. Daniel was being fucked. Jack considered the possibility that he was wrong but experience told him different.
Then certain memories began to shift into focus as things clicked into place. Daniel had been deliberately shunning the company of women since Shau’re’s abduction and most especially, after her death. The only women Daniel spent time with outside of work were Carter and Fraiser. Jack couldn’t help but feel relieved and pleased. It was as if there’d be a chance between them. He sat up slowly, eyes riveted to Daniel’s body and the small sounds he made.
“No, no, come back, come back,” Daniel mumbled, then abruptly pushed up, eyes wide open and staring in disoriented shock.
Surprised, Jack reached out to rub his arm, to comfort and remind Daniel that he was indeed awake, but he pulled his hand back just as he got a good look. A very good look. Daniel was hard and his erection was pushing past the waistband of his briefs, pointing straight up as if saluting Jack to come take hold. Jack’s hand itched to move and part of his mind said, “Do it, Do it.”
“You were dreaming, Daniel,” he said instead, swallowing and dropping his hand. He concentrated not to curl his fingers in a simulated grip.
Daniel suddenly looked down, realized he was hard, and with wide eyes, swiftly turned away. “Sorry.”
Jack stared at his back, his mouth dropping open out of disbelief. “For what? Being normal?”
Daniel couldn’t answer yet. He was so fucking horny and the slightest touch from Jack would result in something extremely embarrassing. He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair, laughing shakily. “I think I need to step outside.”
“That’s what you were dreaming about lately?”
Another laugh and the blush wouldn’t go the fuck away. “Yeah.” That dream had been the biggest turn on yet. “Yeah, just another dream in my screwed up psyche.”
Before Jack could stop himself, he smiled and said, “Not that screwed up, Daniel. Not from what I saw and heard.”
Daniel’s eyes widened and he turned to face his friend. “Oh god. Oh god oh god, I’m sorry, I’m–“
“No,” Jack said, reaching out, then hastily pulled his hand back. “Don’t be.”
“What’d I say?” Daniel asked, then immediately said, “No, don’t tell me. I can guess.” He dropped down on his back, wincing as his cock brushed acutely against his briefs and sleeping bag. He turned away and grimaced again as he gingerly got to his feet.
“Where’re you going?” Jack asked, alarmed.
“Disneyland,” Daniel told him, but instead of Jack letting him go, Jack was up beside him in an instant, hand on his arm.
“Daniel, wait,” he said, pulling him back. He hadn’t meant to pull that hard, but Daniel turned too swiftly, hands up defensively. Jack tried to step around him only his foot came down on Daniel’s, Daniel’s came down on his, then Jack twisted to get out of the way, lost his balance, grabbed both of Daniel’s arms and down they both went.
With a barely muffled yell, Daniel landed on his back, on top of the now-open sleeping bag, and Jack came down on top of him with a startled ‘oof!’
Looking up at him, at the startled look on Jack’s face, Daniel knew that Jack could feel him. It was past the time for explanation and there was no way he could dismiss this. Before he knew it, he was half-laughing with the inevitability of it all. “Well, I guess you’ve met Mister Happy,” he said, then covered his eyes as he began to laugh even more.
Jack stared at him in further surprise, trying not to smile and failing. The mixture of arousal and humor had him snickering softly as Daniel tried to get himself under control. Then Jack realized that he was on top of him, hands braced on either side of his shoulders.
Before Daniel could shove him away, Jack pushed off him gently, opting for the joke of the hour. “Mister Happy, Daniel?” he whispered, trying not to laugh.
“Yeah, that is a bit immature of me, isn’t it.” Daniel bit his lips closed to keep from laughing even more–because that was funny and not too far from the truth. Extremely grateful for the dark, he had to say something smartass because his dignity demanded it. “Well, it certainly isn’t an iron spike, though it may have felt like it.”
Jack grinned, started to say it, but there was a noise outside the tent. “Shit,” he said instead.
Teal’c was on duty and quite obviously heard. “Do you require my assistance?” he asked, stepping through the flaps of the tent.
“No,” Daniel drawled, closing his eyes. “I started to leave the tent, Jack tried to stop me, I protested, and down we went.”
“I see,” Teal’c replied.
Even through the dark, Jack could see the smirk. “Thanks for checking, T,” Jack said, hoping that Teal’c would leave. He looked like he wanted to ask questions but didn’t. Instead, he did as Jack hoped; he bowed once and left the tent. Turning his attention back to Daniel, it was Jack who scowled. “Don’t leave the tent, Daniel.”
“I need to take a piss, Jack,” Daniel said resignedly, hand covering his eyes.
“Daniel, you don’t think I’m falling for that, do you?”
Raising his hand slightly, Daniel looked over at him. “Well, it sounded good.”
“You’re not dressed, Daniel, so did you plan to go skulking around the woods in your underwear?” Jack knew it was a lame excuse, but it too sounded good.
“Jack, it makes no difference if your dick’s in the wind.”
Jack laughed softly then, nodding. “Yeah, you’re right about that. Sorry, Daniel, it’s just…”
Daniel moved to sit up again, then flopped back down when his dick protested and covered his face again. “It’s just what?” he asked, trying to distract himself.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?” he asked sharply.
“That you were gay.”
Despite the painful protest of his dick, Daniel sat straight up and looked at him. His mouth hung open in surprise, but as he flashed back to his dream, he remembered that he’d spoken in his sleep. He groaned and dropped his chin to his chest. “Technically, I’m bi.” There came a few long silent seconds. “Does it bother you?”
“Not in the least. I just … why didn’t you say anything?”
“You know why,” Daniel replied, lifting his head, eyes closed.
Turning his head swiftly, he gave Jack a defiant look, knowing Jack could see it. “You know damn well how guys can be really good friends but the moment something like this comes out, the homophobia rears its ugly head and the friendship ends. I didn’t want to risk that.”
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong, did I?”
“No, but just in case–“
“No ‘just in case,’ Daniel,” Jack started, then felt the ugliness of resentment creep up before he could stop it. “I thought you could trust me.”
“Jack, don’t bring up issues of trust,” Daniel shot back, giving him a warning look that Jack understood completely.
He sighed, thanking Daniel for not being specific. “Let’s save that one for another time. Right now, more immediate issues persist,” and he grabbed Daniel’s hand, pulling harder when Daniel resisted. “You want confirmation that I’m not bothered by your being gay? Here,” and Jack promptly placed Daniel’s hand on his own erection.
Daniel froze in surprise. He was palming territory he’d been dreaming about but had deemed off-limits in the real world. Now here he was, with his hand on Jack’s… When he tried to speak, Daniel found he was simply too flabbergasted to come up with anything but, “Oh wow.”
“Now you know about me, too,” Jack said softly, reaching over to shut Daniel’s unhinged jaw. “It doesn’t have to mean anything, by the way, in case you’re feeling trapped or that I’m coming onto you.”
“I’m not feeling trapped,” Daniel began, wanting so badly to slide his hand inside Jack’s shorts. Instead, he moved it away.
“Then can you talk to me now?” Jack asked. “About this, about your lack of sleep, about that dream, whatever you want. But we do need to talk, whether I’m good at it or not.”
It was too much, Daniel thought. Information overload. There were so many things and all he could do was look in Jack’s eyes, drop his mouth open again, and shake his head.
“What?” Jack asked, peering at him. “You don’t wanna talk or you can’t talk right now?” When Daniel shook his head again, Jack grinned. “Okay, let’s try this again. Do you want to talk?”
Daniel sighed and nodded and Jack smiled, then looked down at Daniel’s groin and winced. “That’s gotta hurt.”
“Yeah,” Daniel finally said.
Jack had an idea, but it probably wouldn’t work. “I could take care of that for you. Or rather, we could.”
Daniel’s eyes widened as he found his voice. “What?”
“What?” Daniel whispered. “I don’t need a pity hand job, Jack.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Jack growled at him.
“I don’t get it, why the hell do you–“
Daniel couldn’t finish because his words were cut off by a swift but amazingly soft kiss. He closed his eyes automatically, pursing his lips to kiss back, but the rest of him remained stock still in continued shock. A few seconds passed, then he moved his hand, tentatively, to the middle of Jack’s chest.
When Jack stopped the kiss, Daniel opened his eyes and lifted his hand, expecting a change of mind, but Jack kissed him again, more firmly this time. Daniel closed his eyes again, aware of how warm and firm Jack felt under his fingers but most of him was zeroed in on the kiss. Jack pulled back once more, but just enough to part his lips and then kiss him again. When Jack slid his tongue between his lips, Daniel opened to him, meeting his tongue for a taste.
Jack pulled back yet again, letting out a slow breath and reached out, his hand gently covering Daniel’s erection. Daniel hissed in response. “Let me,” he whispered, brushing his lips over Daniel’s.
“Didn’t you want to talk?” Daniel said, thinking it odd he should consider that right now.
“You want to talk now?” Jack asked, kissing lightly, licking at Daniel’s lips even as he kept his hand still. Waiting.
“Cart before the horse?” Daniel asked, excitement filling him even more than before.
“Have another suggestion?” Jack asked, brushing the backs of his fingers over Daniel’s straining, cotton-covered cock.
Daniel inhaled sharply. “No, cart before the horse sounds good.”
“Works for me,” Jack replied, and kissed Daniel hard, pushing him backward, onto his back, as his hand swiftly moved inside his shorts to take hold of him.
Daniel choked off the moan that wanted release and wrapped an arm around Jack’s neck, deepening their kiss, while his free hand caressed his chest and moved over taut nipples. The action was a catalyst and Jack began to stroke him, swiftly, purposefully, squeezing firmly but not too hard.
Daniel needed to breathe and broke off, gasping, and abruptly found himself inhaling with surprising lust as Jack moved over him, between his legs, mouth biting and sucking at his neck, his jaw. The long-desired touches were electric, sending waves of pleasure through him that would have had him both cursing and encouraging had they been anywhere else. Instead, Daniel arched his neck and panted, eyes squeezed shut, letting himself simply feel everything.
And he wanted more. A lot more. But not now, not here, and Daniel hated it; hated that he couldn’t do or say what he wanted. His first time in a long time and he had to hold back. It wasn’t fair.
His mind scrambled to figure out a compromise, something he could get instead, but thoughts seemed to freeze when Jack let go in order to strip off his clothes. Daniel didn’t need to be told what he should be doing and threw off his own t-shirt, shoved off his briefs, and pulled Jack down on top of him again.
“You want my hand back or do you want this?” Jack whispered against his ear as he thrust his hips against him, grinding their cocks together.
“Anything, just … you,” Daniel whispered, then lost himself in the feeling of skin and heat and pleasure.
Jack knew that what he wanted to do–namely wet his fingers and fingerfuck him–would probably make Daniel yell, even through a kiss. The alternative was this, and spreading Daniel’s legs with his own, he settled his body against him and began to thrust and rock, keeping his rhythm synchronized with Daniel’s body.
It then hit Jack how Daniel was responding to him, like a man starved for affection, and it clued Jack in with sudden alarm and guilt. Daniel wasn’t just horny. He was lonely. And this was very likely the first contact he’d had since Shau’re had been taken. Jesus, had he been celibate all this time?
Taking Daniel’s head in his hands, he kissed him hungrily, showing Daniel that it wasn’t pity by any means. He was giving him a part of himself, sharing a secret. When Daniel began to thrust back more rapidly, more needily, Jack broke the kiss and looked down at him. Even in the moonlit darkness, what he saw nearly made him come. Skin shiny with sweat, mouth agape, head tilted back, eyes closed, panting.
Daniel suddenly wrapped an arm around Jack’s neck and pressed his lips against Jack’s ear, whispering, “I wish you could fuck me right now.”
“I have an idea that will do for now,” Jack whispered back. Excited by Daniel’s words and wanting to do something, Jack moved his hand underneath Daniel’s body and over his ass, sliding a finger down his cleft, fingertip pressing against his hole.
Jack’s touch was too good and Daniel choked off another whine as his orgasm approached with alarming speed. “Now,” he warned harshly and slid his hands down Jack’s damp back to clamp his fingers over his ass. He thrust rapidly, readying himself as his balls drew up. When another whine started to escape his throat, he knew damn well that Teal’c would hear him, hear them. He couldn’t bite, he’d leave evidence, and he didn’t want to release his hold on Jack. “Too good, too good, I’m gonna yell,” he said rapidly, the sound turning into another whine.
Daniel fully expected Jack to kiss him, to cut off any escaping sound, but instead, Jack did something he would never have expected. He clamped his free hand over his mouth, then slid down and took his cock into his mouth. The resulting explosion of pleasure from Jack’s mouth and finger combined with the restraint sent Daniel off in spectacular fashion. He stiffened and arched, spilling copiously into Jack’s mouth and down his throat.
There was a heavy exhale and Daniel opened his eyes in time to catch the look on Jack’s face. He was straining, eager to come, and quick as a flash, Daniel knocked him over onto his back and went down, taking his cock quickly into his mouth before Jack could come.
The result was Jack clapping his own hand over his mouth while the other grabbed Daniel by his hair. Hips pumping thrice, he began to shoot thickly into Daniel’s mouth.
Daniel was awed by the sound, so quiet, like harsh breathing, completely at odds with the force of the semen he swallowed. Keeping his eyes on him, Daniel memorized everything in case this never happened again: Jack’s face flushed and sweaty, frozen in a grimace with his eyes squeezed shut.
As soon as he finished, Jack pulled Daniel up on top of him and kissed him deeply, possessively, thrusting against him as his afterglow sought out residual pleasure. Daniel returned the favor, grinding into him in a slow dance of satiation.
When Jack opened his eyes and pulled from the kiss, Daniel couldn’t take his eyes off him.
He’d just had sex with Jack. With Jack. Him and Jack. Jack and him. Doubt and fear flooded his mind as he watched a shadow creep over Jack’s eyes. “Regrets?” he asked.
Jack looked over his face, his body, then rubbed against him, mixing their sweat. “None. The only problem I see right now is what to do about this when we get home.”
Daniel frowned. “What do you mean?”
“We need to take this slow,” Jack said, combing back Daniel’s hair.
Dread came now and Daniel closed his eyes. Regrets, maybe not, but the restrictions were about to be put back in place. This was nothing but a one-off. “Right,” he said, nodding. Daniel told himself not to feel anything, but the twinge in his heart said it would be extremely difficult. But nonetheless, he schooled his features and took a deep breath as he rolled off Jack and moved onto his sleeping bag. Lying on his back, staring at the ceiling of the tent, he suddenly regretted everything.
Daniel didn’t look at him. “Jack.”
Jack stared at him, recognizing the self-protection. He knew it all too well. “What’re you doing?”
Daniel gave him a confused look. “What do you mean?”
Jack frowned. There was distance in Daniel’s eyes that Jack hadn’t seen for a while and he couldn’t figure out what had put it there. Did Daniel regret what had just happened?
“You asked me, I’ll ask you. Regrets?”
“None,” Daniel replied, but he didn’t look at him long enough when he said it. Just a glance. Jack knew something was wrong then. Daniel may as well have said, I’m fine. When Daniel started to get up, Jack pulled him back. “Where’re you going?”
“I need to piss,” Daniel replied, his expression giving away nothing.
Jack knew then that Daniel was running, running as fast as he could. Jack could only imagine why. “Okay, but before you go,” he said, and did the only thing he could think of. He kissed Daniel softly, their lips sticky with sweat. “I was talking about what you want and need, Daniel. I wasn’t about to say this should never happen again.”
Daniel hated the intense relief he felt. “So not pushing me away then?”
“No, not pushing you away.”
“Then what’s to talk about?”
“I liked this, and I want more, but this has to go slow, that’s all I’m saying.”
Daniel shook his head against Jack’s conservatism. “How pragmatic of you, Jack.”
“Um, not just that, Daniel. Protective. I don’t want to hurt you. You need … more.” Jack swallowed and forced himself to say what had to be said. “And not necessarily with me.”
“Excuse me?” Daniel asked, clearly confused. “You can’t hurt me, Jack. Not if I don’t let you.”
“Daniel, listen to me. If I’m right, you’re just now getting back into the game.” At Daniel’s cringing, he knew he was on the right track. “You shouldn’t restrict yourself to one person. There could be someone better out there.”
Daniel snorted at him. “No, there isn’t. I don’t know a better person than you, even when you piss me off.”
“Daniel, you’ll never know unless you–“
“Jack, goddamn it.”
“Daniel, as friends, we fight. Can you imagine what would happen if we were more?”
“Yes, I can. And I don’t care, I expect it. Your point?”
“Don’t limit yourself.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Have you thought about my so-called options where that’s concerned? If I could have played the field already, I would have.” With his fingers, Daniel ticked off his examples. “One, I can’t have the men on base who’re gay. Two, I don’t like lying to people off-base and they can’t find out what I do. The proverbial catch-22.”
“There are ways around that, Daniel. I can help.”
“What?” Daniel asked. “So you’re actually wanting me to be with others? I can’t believe it’s so easy for you.”
“I never said it’d be easy,” Jack replied, sighing heavily. It wasn’t going to be.
“Ah huh,” Daniel said, eyeing him. He had to choose his words carefully. “And if I choose you? Now? No question?” When Jack didn’t answer right away, Daniel glanced up at him and paused, finding Jack staring at him. “What?”
“After one time?”
Daniel couldn’t help grinning. “Sometimes, all it takes is one time.”
Jack gave him the strangest look, then said, “Slow, Daniel. Slow and steady–“
“Wins the race, yeah, yeah, yadda.”
Jack grinned a little wistfully. “Sorry, Daniel, but we have to.”
Daniel rolled his eyes but he knew Jack was right. Thinking of them, the other men in his dreams still sent a flutter of lust through his belly. But he still felt the need to wind Jack up for doing this to him. “You know, slow and steady also applies to a lot of other things.”
“Daniel…” Jack warned, but his heart simply wasn’t in it. He was also just a bit alarmed. It would be so goddamned easy to fall hopelessly in love with the man.
“Jack, despite our differences, I already…” and he made a gesture between them that Jack clearly didn’t get. “Like you. A lot.”
“I figured,” Jack replied, unable to keep from grinning like a loon.
Daniel pushed at him. “You know what I mean. I believe you do, too, providing you meant what you said.”
Jack’s grin faded, brows creasing instead. “‘Scuse me?”
“About not pitying me.”
“I don’t fuck about with sex, Daniel. I take it very seriously.”
Daniel felt a blush form around his face. “I’m only saying–“
“And if you hadn’t just noticed, I take you very seriously.”
Daniel’s blush rose and he looked away, cursing under his breath. When he sat up to really go take a piss, Jack got up instead and held out his hand. Daniel took it and got to his feet.
“We’ll both go,” Jack told him, looking thoroughly mussed. Daniel wished he could fuck him, right then.
“I don’t need hand-holding.”
“No, you don’t. It just so happens I need to piss, too.”
When they returned and got back into their sleeping bags, Jack reached over and put his arm over Daniel’s waist. Daniel laid his hand over it, caressing it.
“What were those dreams about?” Jack asked. “Were they responsible for the lack of sleep?”
Daniel sighed again, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“And … they were about sex. With everyone I knew and some I didn’t.”
Jack’s browline rose in surprise, but not for the reasons Daniel thought. “You mean you haven’t had fantasies?”
“Well,” Daniel drawled, “Yeah, but I stayed away from certain… people.” When Jack’s eyes widened out of curiosity, Daniel sighed. “Okay fine, I stayed away from you and Jason. It’s just that my brain seemed to betray me when I was asleep.”
“Me and Jason? Seriously?” Jack asked, torn between wanting to hear them and putting them off for later.
“You wanna tell me about them?”
Daniel took a deep breath, deciding in an instant. “Another time. Not now. Not here.”
Jack understood that. And it suddenly struck him that he had the answer. Although, not exactly what he wanted, but still, he knew where Daniel was coming from. “I think I can help with your catch-22.”
“I have a membership to a discreet club. You can go there with me.”
Daniel shook his head, even through his surprise. “Not going to work.”
“Because,” Daniel said through another deep sigh. “I’m off women.” Jack suddenly grinned broadly at him. “What? It’s not funny, Jack.”
The smile faded, but only for a moment to show Daniel he took his word seriously. “The club is gays only, Daniel. Come with me this weekend and we can show you around, give you an idea what it would be like. I can arrange for membership ahead of time, if you want.”
Jack stared at him long enough to make Daniel worry and grinned when the knot formed between Daniel’s brows. “Me and Jason. Paul Davis goes there when he’s in town. He meets someone there, a regular lover or boyfriend or partner, I don’t know.”
Daniel’s eyes widened, searching Jack’s face for clues that he was kidding. When he found none, jealousy started to rear up instead. “And you and Jason?” he asked slowly.
Jack took a deep breath this time. “I have to be honest. We’re lovers, but it’s casual, Daniel. Sometimes we find someone else.”
“Oh,” Daniel mouthed, and the sudden amount of jealousy that flared inside surprised him. Daniel wasn’t normally someone who let jealousy affect him. Insecurity, maybe. Jealousy, not very often. Apparently, Jack was going to be one of those rare times.
An epiphany suddenly hit him as the feelings of sex faded and logical, rational thinking replaced them. Daniel cleared his throat and forced the jealousy away. Jack was right. He had to take this slow. It may seem good between them now but things could change. If it was worth it, Jack would still be there at the end of it all.
“Okay, I’ll come with.”
“Good man,” Jack said, slapping Daniel’s leg.
“But I have to warn you,” Daniel told him, feeling it was only fair.
“I don’t hold back where sex and love are concerned. I give everything I have, Jack.”
“I know that, Daniel,” Jack said, feeling that he knew both now.
Daniel wanted to tell him otherwise but didn’t. He cleared his throat again. “What I mean is that I commit myself, even if it’s only a one-off. I take sex as seriously as you do.”
Jack stared at him, feeling a lump in his stomach. This was going to be hard, he told himself, then leaned in and kissed Daniel as softly as the first time. “I wouldn’t expect any less. Now let’s get some shut eye.”
As Daniel scooted down into his sleeping bag, he glanced at Jack and found it both amusing and comforting the way the man watched him. “What?”
Jack groaned and fell over, burying his face in his sleeping bag behind Daniel’s head. “You’re going to be the death of me, aren’t you?” he asked, voice muffled.
“Only if you let me,” Daniel whispered as he fell off to sleep.
In the morning, Daniel hadn’t been awakened again by the frustrating dreams and fervently hoped they were gone for good. Unfortunately, the future would prove otherwise.