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Excerpts from an Alien's Journal

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Entry One:

Location: Earth

Time: Uncertain. Hit light speed on journey, seem to have travelled back in time. Very concerning. Slight damage to hull of ship, hope to find tools to repair craft. Radio not working so I have taken to recording a journal. Not used to using extremities to write. Human vessel is odd.

Entry Two:

Adjusting to humanoid form. I have tracked the mysterious matter detected on satellite to a college. Told them I was an exchange student from planet Egypt, caused misunderstanding. They think I am from Middle East. Note: apparently ancestors named earth country after home planet. Also built rest stops the humans call ‘pyramids.’

Entry Three:

I am getting better at writing with my hands.

I have learned that humans stored dead bodies in pyramids. Will have to find out if humans always put dead bodies in bathrooms.

Entry Four:

Humans do not store dead bodies in bathrooms. Get very angry if you try to do it.

Entry Five:

I have successfully infiltrated the university. I am working under Dr. Z on the meteorite. I have not seen the mysterious matter, referred to as the ‘space rock,’ but I am hoping to see where it is stored tomorrow.

Additional: I have found tools to repair space craft. I have been told the tool in question is a ‘spork.’ Very ingenious.

Update: Spork material was too flimsy for repairs. I remain on the lookout for something more durable.

Entry Six:

I have begun my work in the lab. Much to my amusement, the ‘rock’ turns out be preserved Zorlack feces. Humans seem unaware of zorlack’s existence (though the earthen ‘bull’ creature bears a remarkable resemblance) so I expect them to be ‘studying’ the ‘rock’ for quite some time.

In light of this discovery, I have decided to study my research partner instead. Upon reviewing my Egypt University guidebook, I have found that human study is worth half my credits. Zorlack poop is worth 2. If completed, I expect these assignments to cut my schooling down to just 6 more moon cycles.

Side note: I have discovered earthen moon cycles to be much faster. I wonder if time moves more quickly here?

Entry Seven:

Time does move more quickly. I have learned that I only need to sleep once a week. This gives me more opportunity to watch my research subject, whom I will refer to as Gigatron,

Gigatron, an earth female, has a male companion whom I will call K-9 (this is funny because his earth name is a reference to a dog character. Long explanation of joke and what a ‘dog’ is will be included in the appendix. For brevity’s sake, I will say here that a dog is like a wallox but much smaller and far less poisonous.)

I am watching Gigatron and K-9 to ascertain knowledge of human mating habits. Nothing to report yet, will include observations in next entry.