Sometimes life was just too much. Lan Zhan wanted to let go, and just not have to worry about anything. He hated his job, but didn’t feel like there was a way out. His uncle had pushed both him and his brother into their majors. While his brother had gone the business management route, Lan Zhan opted for computer science in hopes he wouldn’t have to talk to people often. He understood technology. It made sense. It was clear and concise. And his uncle had been able to pull some strings to get them both internships at the company he worked for which led to both of them working there. They’d both excelled in their positions, and raised to the top of the company quickly. And with that, Lan Zhan found himself in annoying meetings most of the day. He barely got to do any coding even though he was in the programming department. Now he was an executive employee of the company. He should be grateful. He was. But he was so drained every day, and hated everything about it. The only solace was coming home to find Wei Ying on the couch watching TV or playing a videogame. Sometimes he’d be working on a case.
Today he was playing a game with his brother online. Wei Ying was talking into his headset to him. Lan Zhan kicked his shoes off, and hung his keys on the hook before giving Wei Ying a kiss. He could hear Jiang Cheng yelling at Wei Ying about being disgusting. Wei Ying laughed and gave a witty comeback.
Lan Zhan didn’t understand their relationship. He and his own brother never fought like that. He didn’t even remember the last argument they’d had that was more than a respectful disagreement. He did recall that when they were very small they’d had a few physical fights, but after their parents died, they stopped. They really found solace in each other. Lan Zhan viewed his brother as his best friend and confidant. Slowly over the years, that role in his life slowly shifted to Wei Ying. But he and Huan were still incredibly close. He was happy he got to work with him.
Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng were always bickering and arguing. There were only five days between them, so perhaps that was the reason they were the way that they were. Neither was more mature than the other.
It was a strange situation. Their respective parents were in a sort of polyamorous relationship with each other. All were very nice people. But Lan Zhan didn’t understand it, nor did he know who to call Wei Ying’s parents. Was it his biological parents or all of them? It was truly a headache. Uncle had choked when he’d heard the arrangement from Wei Ying’s mouth the first time he introduced the two men. The question had just simply been what do your parents do for a living. Uncle wasn’t prepared to hear the four different answers, and he certainly was prepared to hear that there had been no divorce, nor remarrying. These were just four people who raised Wei Ying with his siblings. Lan Zhan didn’t understand how anyone could do it, and was so in awe of the situation. He didn’t understand how a person didn’t become jealous. He was a one man kind of guy, truly.
He went to their bedroom to change. His eyes lingered on his own laptop situated on the desk. Sometimes he’d work there, but it had seemed like ages since it’d been more than sending emails or the random impromptu video meeting with investors. One of the drawbacks of being one of the few people in the company fluent in Mandarin was lots of random business calls with overseas investors and partners at odd hours. His uncle told him and his brother how much of an advantage it was, but honestly to Lan Zhan, it was a bother. He’d rather not work extra, and he sure as hell didn’t want to spend longer talking to people than he had to. It was exhausting even at a normal hour. He had a total of four people in his life who never wore him out mentally after speaking to them. His brother, Wei Ying, his close childhood friend, Mianmian, and his uncle. Everyone else drained him beyond words. His brother claimed it was the sign of a true introvert. Mianmian told him it was him being antisocial. Uncle said it was something he needed to get over it for his own good. And Wei Ying just told him to come charge his batteries.
He’d stumbled upon a blog about a year ago exploring orgasm denial with a flurry of other kinks that had at first distrubed him, but he found himself coming back more and more until he realized he was intrigued. And then, he’d been turned on. He found that looking at the blog made him so horny he couldn’t handle it. And then he started watching porn (though he’d never admit it) covering it. He wanted to be them. He wanted to just let go of all the control. Give it to someone else.
He trusted Wei Ying enough. He trusted the man with his life. But the problem was Wei Ying would never be into it. Lan Zhan was destined to a life of vanilla sex with some light bondage thrown in as a treat. He’d been brave enough to ask for that. Wei Ying had looked at him with a glint in his eye like he was on to him. But Wei Ying would never give Lan Zhan what he truly craved. Lan Zhan wanted to be dominated. He wanted to hand over all his orgasms, and let Wei Ying control them. He wanted to not think. He wanted Wei Ying to spank him until he was sore. He wanted rope marks on his skin. He wanted to be a sobbing begging mess only for Wei Ying to tell him no. But Wei Ying would never agree. He treated Lan Zhan like glass. He was so unbelievably soft with him all the time. Hell, he rarely agreed to fuck Lan Zhan fast and hard like he craved. Lan Zhan wanted it rough. He wanted to feel it the next day. Wei Ying didn’t want to hurt him.
It wasn’t like their sex was bad. It wasn’t. Lan Zhan very much enjoyed sex with Wei Ying. He loved how intimate it was. Wei Ying loved to kiss him while he slowly fucked him into an orgasm. He touched him everywhere. He’d make Lan Zhan drunk on him. And when Lan Zhan topped, he had to fight the urge to give Wei Ying what Lan Zhan wanted to be given, but held back. He didn’t want to lose control. But part of him did. It was nice. It all felt so good. Love was dripping from every breath and movement.
But it wasn’t what Lan Zhan wanted.
He sighed, and glanced toward the door. Wei Ying was still talking to his brother. That could last all night. He wondered what would happen if he just walked out of their room naked, climbed on Wei Ying’s lap, and started making out with him. Jiang Cheng would probably realize they were kissing, and would be disgusted. Lan Zhan really didn’t care. He wanted to be fucked.
Instead, he opened the laptop and logged on to his favorite porn site, and pulled up a bondage denial video. He felt like he deserved to blow off steam. And if his boyfriend was going to ignore him for videogames, well…
Lan Zhan didn’t waste time thinking about it. The scenario was good. The sub was tied up, and suspended with their arms pulled up behind him. The dom had a hitachi to the sub’s cock. As the sub begged to cum, Lan Zhan picked up pace. When the dom stopped touching the sub, Lan Zhan stopped touching. It went like that for a while. He was so caught up that he didn’t realize the videogame had stopped. He didn’t notice that his boyfriend had walked in the room. It wasn’t until he ruined his orgasm as the dom in the video ruined the sub’s that he opened his eyes to notice Wei Ying staring at him with a very shocked expression.
Lan Zhan slammed the laptop shut, and did his best to hide the mess and what he was doing. Wei Ying giggled.
“Did you just lick your own cum off your hand?”
Lan Zhan’s breath caught. He hadn’t realized he’d even done that. Wei Ying sat on the bed.
“Are you still horny? I could go for a round. What were you watching?”
“Nothing!” Lan Zhan said, a bit too quickly. He could feel his ears burning.
Wei Ying laughed, and snatched the laptop before Lan Zhan could think. He opened it up and frowned at the passcode screen.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying whined. He pouted and leaned against Lan Zhan. “Please show me! You’ve never told me you watched porn before, and I mean I know most people do, but I didn’t know you did. Come on! Show me! It can be fun. Maybe we can try it.”
“We cannot.” Lan Zhan frowned.
“You wouldn’t approve.”
Wei Ying’s face fell. He stared at Lan Zhan before taking his hand. “I love you. And I want to know what your wildest fantasies are. I’m willing to try anything if it makes my boyfriend, whom I love so much, happy.”
“Do not judge,” Lan Zhan mumbled as he took the laptop from his boyfriend.
Wei Ying sat down excitedly, and leaned against Lan Zhan who put the passcode into the laptop. The video had been paused. Wei Ying shifted next to him. Lan Zhan closed out of the site and went to the blog before handing the laptop to Wei Ying. Lan Zhan forced himself to watch his boyfriend sift the pages of the blog. His eyes ran back and forth over the elaborate stories. His mouth was parted slightly, and he gently handed the laptop back to Lan Zhan after a while. For a moment they were just in silence.
“Wow…” Wei Ying breathed. “I had no idea. You’re interested in this?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan agreed, not meeting the man’s eyes.
“I mean...we can try?” Wei Ying smiled. “If this is what you’re interested in, I’d be open. It sounds kinda hot actually.”
“Really?” Lan Zhan stared at him. “You’re not just saying that?”
Wei Ying took the laptop from Lan Zhan, and closed it before setting it aside. He took Lan Zhan’s face to keep him from looking away.
“I don’t think you know how far I would go to make you happy, Lan Zhan. I love you so much.” He kissed Lan Zhan’s forehead. “Besides, it could be fun.”
Lan Zhan didn’t know what to think or say. He hadn’t expected to get this far, and he surely didn’t expect Wei Ying to be okay with it. He was sure that Wei Ying would have found it weird or disturbing. Telling ones boyfriend you’re into rough sex or light bondage or maybe a ass slap here or there was one thing. But Lan Zhan wanted more than just that. He wanted to give all the control to Wei Ying. He wanted to be sore from sex. He wanted rope marks on his body. He wanted to be denied. He wanted ruined orgasms, and threats of permanent chastity long enough that he just might start to believe it. He wanted to be punished. He wanted to give his body to Wei Ying for his complete pleasure. He wanted to be pushed until he felt broken, and then for Wei Ying to put him back together. He wanted pain mixed with pleasure. He never thought in a million years he’d ever be able to tell anyone, and had he not been caught red handed, he probably wouldn’t have if he was being honest.
He swallowed, and looked down. It was only then he realized he was hard again. His mind had been too busy freaking out. Wei Ying seemed to notice at the exact same moment because he smiled mischievously at Lan Zhan.
“We can start now if you want. I don’t really know how all this works though. And do you want me to do this to you, or do you want to do this to me?”
“You to me.”
“Oh, thank goodness. I was gonna be scared. Okay, so tell me about it, but don’t touch yourself.”
Lan Zhan opened his mouth and closed it. He hadn’t expected that.
“What do you want to know?”
He risked looking up at Wei Ying. They were nearing thirty, but sometimes Wei Ying had a way of looking so much younger. His eyes would get wide, and the look on his face was completely mystified. He looked like he had back when they’d first met when they were in their early twenties, and Wei Ying was stressing out in the library about studying for his LSAT. He was so beautiful. Lan Zhan leaned over and kissed him. He couldn’t help it.
“Well...obviously you know about the orgasm control, but more specifically orgasm denial. I want to beg and you tell me no over and over. And forced orgasms when I’m supposed to not be allowed. I want to give you my orgasms.”
Wei Ying’s brow furrowed, but he said nothing. Lan Zhan’s heart pounded, and he felt his ears burning.
“I know that sounds really weird.”
“It doesn’t. I personally don’t understand the desire to not be allowed, but it doesn’t make it weird. Go on. What else are you into or want to try?”
“And...and when I do cum without permission, being punished. I really, really, really want to be spanked hard; I don’t care with what. I just want it to hurt or sting. No, I want it to hurt. I want to feel it the next day. You can even just spank me whenever really.”
Wei Ying nodded, his face blank.
“Bondage. More than what we do. Like real bondage. Like I can’t move and am completely at your mercy. And vibrators. And plugs so I’m always ready for you. Cock rings to keep me from coming, but keep me hard. Cock cages even. I’ll give you my cock to control as you see fit. I want to just belong to you. I want to bottom exclusively because it feels more like I’m yours than the other way around.”
Wei Ying didn’t say anything as he absorbed the information. Lan Zhan felt absolutely mortified. He’d never shared this part of himself before.
“Okay, and so how would this work?”
“We make lists. Things I want. Things I want to try or am open to. And things I don’t want. Green, yellow, red lists. And you also put things on there. The most important thing is everyone being comfortable. So on that note, a safe word is important. For both of us. Even though you’re not going through as much, it’s still important. And there are times when maybe I can’t talk, so a signal is also important. If there’s a new idea introduced, we have to do a color check if we haven’t already discussed it. Color checks are just good in general.”
Lan Zhan played with the blanket nervously.
“Okay. I’m gonna say...pineapple juice.” Wei Ying giggled.
“Pineapple juice. Okay.”
Wei Ying burst out laughing. “Oh, oh, A-Zhan, don’t tell me you’ve never seen that video of the man getting arrested, and when he was getting searched he said his safe word was pineapple juice?”
“No.” Lan Zhan blinked.
“I’ll have to show you. It’s hilarious. But I stand by it. That’s what I’m using. I won’t ever forget it. What about you?”
“Bichen. And if I can’t talk, this.” He snapped his fingers twice in quick succession.
“Bichen. Got it. Do you want to make the lists now? Or do you want me to suck you off one last time before we start in with this fun adventure?”
Wei Ying grabbed the laptop, and opened up a new document. He made columns with green, yellow, and red titles, making the font the corresponding color. He handed it to Lan Zhan.
Green: spanking, whipping, lashing, caning, rough sex, orgasm control, orgasm denial, forced orgasm, ruined orgasm, vibrators, plugs, bondage, mild humiliation, remote control vibrators, cock rings, collars, gags, cockwarming, somnophilia (especially being woken up to it)
Yellow: cock cages, long term chastity, remote control vibrator in public, clothespin play, sex in public (car, bathroom, etc), sensory deprivation
Red: Any form of body torture, anything involving fluids or secretions outside of cum and saliva, burning/branding, body modification outside of reputable tattoo/piercing shops, age play, ddlb
He handed the laptop to his boyfriend. Wei Ying read over it and nodded. He moved whipping, lashing, and caning to yellow, but kept everything else. Lan Zhan nodded back.
“And if you think of anything new, we can always update this. Or if we find we don’t like something, we can add it to the list. We have to keep it updated.”
“Yeah, of course. And you’ll talk to me about everything, right? You won't clam up?” Wei Ying bumped against him with a smile.
“Do you have anything you want to add?” Wei Ying asked gently.
“Okay, so here are my demands. They are not negotiable nor are they requests. These are demands. If I’m asking you a question about how you’re doing, you have to answer me out loud. You have to communicate with me. I am trusting you to give me feedback. If you don’t feel comfortable, tell me. Yellow, we have to have a conversation and you have to actually tell me. Red or a safe word or signal, we immediately stop everything. I don’t care. We won’t finish. And if you ever want to safe word or stop, and you don’t tell me, that’s the end of this, Lan Zhan. Not the relationship necessarily, but this exploring kinks. That would be a severe lapse in trust. If I can’t trust you to be honest with me and communicate, this can’t work because the last thing I want to do to you is make you feel severely uncomfortable or stressed or hurt you. Do you understand?”
“Good. I’m adding it on here.”
“Um...I do have one edit though.”
“Sometimes in scenes, people beg for things to stop but they don’t actually want it to stop. Color check if that happens and I don't use my safe word just in case it’s just talk. And there’s this thing people have talked about. Subspace? It’s apparently a really good feeling for the sub, but when you get there, sometimes you just can’t safe word. If that happens, it’s up to you.”
Wei Ying blinked at him. “I don’t know how I feel about that subspace thing. What if I don’t know? How would I know? Fuck, that’s terrifying!”
“Maybe do some research and see what doms say? I’ve seen that it’s like your eyes look glazed or you look far away and quiet. But I don’t know.”
“I’ll do that.”
Wei Ying typed up what they discussed, and looked at Lan Zhan. “Anything else for now?”
“I want you to really push me, okay? And don’t feel bad if I safe word or signal or use a color other than green, okay? Especially when we’re learning.”
“Okay. I’ll see what I can do. I’m trusting you, A-Zhan. You have to talk to me. I know you don’t like to talk much, but this is important. And you’ve gotten open with me, so that’s the only reason I’m agreeing, okay?”
“Okay.” Lan Zhan paused. “You can talk dirty to me too. Like calling me a slut and whore and stuff. That kind of turns me on.”
“Noted. I’ll put that in our green.”
“What do you want me to call you?”
Wei Ying stared at him again with a frown. “Wei Ying? Ying? A-Ying? Babe? Baby? Sweetheart? Love of my life?” He chuckled. “All are good.”
“I mean, like, in a scene.”
“You have to call me something different?” Wei Ying pouted. “But I really like those things.”
“I’ll call you those things outside of it...maybe.”
Wei Ying laughed again. “Okay. I don’t know. You know more than me.”
Lan Zhan thought for a moment as he recalled what he’d read. “Sir?”
“Sir…” Wei Ying nodded. “Sounds good. Now, do you have anything to add?”
“For the denial...how many edges should I do?” Lan Zhan’s stomach twisted. “And when should we start?”
“I don’t know. What’s normal? And whenever you want.”
“Maybe start with three times? And can we start today?”
“Are you sure? I was kinda wanting to taste your cum tonight.” Wei Ying smirked, running his fingertips over Lan Zhan’s erection.
“Okay...tomorrow then. I want to make my first goal a week.”
“A whole week before you cum?” Wei Ying stared at him in shock. “But we usually have sex almost every day, multiple rounds. Are you sure it’s okay to start out so long?”
“That’s my goal for now. Might change it.”
“How about we start low and if you’re still feeling okay, we can go longer? Maybe like three days? I don’t want you to be too overwhelmed.”
“Mn. Okay. Sounds good.”
“Okay, cool. So tonight, you let me taste your cum and fuck me one last time before we change it all up. I’m gonna miss you inside me.” Wei Ying sighed with a grin. “The things I do for love.”
Wei Ying giggled, and kissed Lan Zhan. He slowly laid Lan Zhan down, and rolled on top of him. His weight was deliciously satisfying as usual. He trailed kisses down Lan Zhan’s neck before slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Lan Zhan suddenly felt embarrassed that he hadn’t taken off his shirt before pleasuring himself. He must have looked so ridiculous when his boyfriend walked in.
He inhaled sharply as Wei Ying nipped at his nipple before sucking on it. He played with his other nipple in his fingers. He let out a soft moan. He had always been so incredibly sensitive there, and had discovered when he was sixteen that he could actually orgasm from nipple stimulation alone which had been really embarrassing since it was also the night he’d had sex for the first time. Wei Ying was only sensitive when he was incredibly turned on. Mingjue seemed to have no sensitivity.
“I love you so much, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan gasped.
Wei Ying only giggled and nipped him again. “You’re so sensitive. I love that.”
He kissed his way down Lan Zhan’s stomach, nipping at the skin occasionally. Lan Zhan was ready to cum just from that alone. He wasn’t ready for Wei Ying to start biting at his hips and inner thighs. Wei Ying took him time. He grinned at Lan Zhan.
“I think this will be so much fun actually,” he said just before taking Lan Zhan in his mouth.
Lan Zhan gasped, and bucked his hips. Wei Ying held his hips firmly to the mattress. He was so talented with his mouth. Lan Zhan loved the way he swirled his tongue around his cock, and licked the tip. He always took him so deep, swallowing around him. Lan Zhan couldn’t take it anymore and came hard down the man’s throat. Wei Ying swallowed and smiled before sitting up.
“Okay, now you get to fuck me for the last time. Ah, such a shame.”
“Do you not want that?” Lan Zhan asked, quietly.
“Oh, no, I’m just teasing you. I really don’t mind. I’ve never had a relationship where we don’t swap, even with girls. Strap-ons were such a good invention for cis girls.”
He sighed, and pulled Lan Zhan on top of him. He opened his legs to let Lan Zhan fall between them. They fit so perfectly together, like they were made for one another. Lan Zhan leaned down and pressed his lips to his boyfriends. He absolutely loved kissing. He loved making out. The first time he’d ever been kissed he was sixteen, and it was so terrifyingly exciting. Now he was twenty-seven, and it was just exciting. He especially loved to makeout with Wei Ying when he had stubble. It just felt so perfect. He knew people who hated it, but they were wrong.
The two worked together to get Wei Ying equally as naked as Lan Zhan was. And when they’d succeeded, Lan Zhan got to work. He covered his fingers in lubricant, and pressed two into his boyfriend. Wei Ying let out a soft moan. Lan Zhan liked to slowly work Wei Ying open while he sucked his cock. The little gasps and moans above him only spurred him on. Lan Zhan pressed another finger in, thrusting them in and out, and spreading them to open his boyfriend more.
When he was satisfied, he sat up, and lubed up his own cock. He kissed Wei Ying a little longer before pulling away. He lined up with Wei Ying’s hole, and slowly pressed in. He liked to watch Wei Ying’s face when he took his cock. His eyelids fluttered shut, but not fully. His mouth always opened slightly. When he was flush against Wei Ying’s hips, he leaned down and made out with him without moving. He liked to wait and give him time to adjust to the stretch. Wei Ying would always start to grind against him when he was ready.
Lan Zhan kissed him one last time before pushing himself up. He started thrusting in and out, finding the right pace and rhythm. He smiled when he hit his boyfriend’s prostate. He back arched beautifully, and he cried out. Lan Zhan put his focus on that spot, hitting over and over and over. Wei Ying’s hand found his own cock, and he started pumping himself. Lan Zhan watched, and waited. Wei Ying came all over their stomachs. Lan Zhan’s mouth watered. He couldn’t wait to lick him clean. It wasn’t long at all before he was spilling into Wei Ying. He thrust through the orgasm before pulling out.
Immediately he got to work cleaning up the cum from Wei Ying’s stomach and cock. He pushed Wei Ying’s legs wider and folded his boyfriend up to eat him out. Wei Ying came a second time, and Lan Zhan was happy to help clean that up too. Afterward, they just held each other, and made out. Wei Ying pulled away.
“You’re sure you want to do this?”
“Yes. As long as Wei Ying does too.”
“Anything for you. I just wanted to make sure you’re sure. I will not go easy on you as promised!”
“Good,” Lan Zhan breathed. “I love you.”
“I love you too, my beautiful little rabbit.” Wei Ying kissed his nose. “But, my love, we haven’t had dinner. I’m thinking about ordering a pizza. Half veggie for you and half everything for me. You want in?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan hummed from where he was in complete bliss in his boyfriend’s arms.