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Unicorns with Hats

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Charlie the unicorn needed a hat. It was cold on Candy Mountain, especially when you were a unicorn with only one kidney.

The trouble was, even horses had difficulty finding hats that fit, and horses didn't have horns to work around. Charlie had watched a lot of youtube videos about making custom-fit hats, but they all needed equipment he didn't have. Like opposable thumbs.

In the end, he skewered a llama on his horn, enjoying the fluffy warmth of the soft wool. Perhaps he could have just stolen the llama's very fine hat, but again, the horn was an issue; murder was clearly the simpler option. As a bonus, this particular llama had pockets full of dismembered human hands. They were all partially consumed, but Charlie found a few that were only lightly-nibbled and decided to keep them, in case he needed the opposable thumbs later.

Charlie was going to get his kidney back.