Catra jumped a little, spilling ink onto the building plans she'd been memorizing. She wasn't surprised that someone was here - she had heard those footsteps walking to her bedroom in Brightmoon over ten minutes ago. She was surprised because she could have sworn those footsteps belonged to someone else.
The door shut, and she focused on testing her theory. Her sensitive ears could pick up the slightly heavier steps, the voice that was a little lower than usual, a slight clank of metal as the figure settles behind her. She doesn't need to turn around to know that it's not Adora behind her, but She-ra. The semantics mattered when the 8-foot tall version of her girlfriend could fuck her for hours and not break a sweat.
This was going to be fun.
"Yes, Adora?" She tried to make herself look busy, lifting papers she had no intention of reading. She even started writing on the ruined sheets of parchment, just to be a brat.
She-ra pointedly ignored it.
"You've been avoiding me."
Adora was right, of course. Catra had been consciously working herself into the ground over the last few weeks, re-building the parts of Etheria that she had a direct impact on destroying less than a year ago. The harder Catra worked, the more destruction she saw. The more destruction she saw, the worse she felt, and the harder she worked. Any hour she wasn't fixing her mistakes was an hour wasted - an hour where she was selfish.
Catra didn't want to face Adora. She avoided their bedroom at night; made up excuses about how her current projects were keeping her out at all hours. She only went to their room when she knew that Adora wouldn't be there or was asleep. Why burden Adora with this when she couldn't do anything to alleviate Catra's self-loathing? She wasn't worthy of whatever forgiveness Adora would predictably try to give her.
Adora hadn't pressed after the first time she asked her what was wrong, sensing that Catra needed space to handle something. Even though Catra actively worked to create distance between them, getting what she wanted almost made everything worse. Catra didn't know what she wanted anymore.
"You haven't been taking care of yourself, kitten." There was no question in her tone. She was demanding an answer.
Catra didn't intend to give her one.
She still hadn't turned around. She needed Adora to lose it, punish her, give Catra her penance. If Catra was going to get forgiveness, she wanted it to hurt.
"Use your words."
Catra stayed silent.
"Keep up the attitude, and you aren't coming tonight."
She-ra had kept this promise in the past. Catra tried to tease her after saying that and had been denied four orgasms that night with no resolution.
"No," Catra answered on a shaky exhale, standing from her desk. "I haven't been taking care of myself. I don't deserve it."
"What was that?" Apparently, She-ra's patience had just run out. She made her way over quickly and whipped Catra to face her, pulling her hair to force their eyes to meet.
"Try that again, kitten."
"I don't deserve -" Catra started. She-ra gripped her hand tighter in Catra's hair.
"You don't get to decide what you do or don't deserve. I do," She-ra interrupted. "Do you understand?"
Catra felt another hair pull, harder this time.
"Red is stop, yellow pulls back, green is go," Catra says without hesitation.
"Good girl," She-ra says reverently. She doesn't give Catra time to respond, pushing her other hand underneath Catra's waistband. She pauses for one moment, fingers above the thicker patch of fur right under Catra's belt.
"Green," Catra pants.
She-ra slips her hand down, starting an unforgiving pace against her clit. She was already so wet, her underwear practically soaked through.
"You like this, don't you, kitten?" She-ra asked appreciatively. "You're certainly wet enough. I did this to you, didn't I?"
"Yes, sir." Catra breathed. Catra had started purring involuntarily, finally feeling the relief she was missing.
Her eyes were still glued to She-ra’s, her head being gently held by She-ra's thick hand in her hair. Her eyes fluttered shut, remembering how She-ra’s fingers felt inside her. As if she could read her mind, two of those thick fingers slid into her with no resistance. Catra's knees buckled, the other woman catching her hip with the hand that used to be tangled in Catra's hair.
Catra cried out, already close. She had been barely touched, but after two weeks of disregarding her own needs, her body was on a hair-trigger. She felt her body reaching the breaking point around those fingers...
"Ffffuck," Catra cried out, her body shaking.
She-ra removed her hand. She was on the verge of coming without being touched, her core fluttering around nothing. She let out a whine at the emptiness.
"I promise you'll come tonight, kitten. You're so good. Be patient," She-ra said, turning her around and running the hand that was in her hair along her cheekbone. The light touch made Catra smile, even with the denial of her release.
"Good girl. Open your mouth," she commanded gently.
Catra did as she was told, and She-ra pushed in the fingers that were fucking Catra moments ago. She moaned around the digits, tasting how gone she was for the woman in front of her. She had a hard time fitting them into her mouth when Adora was transformed, and some of Catra's slick dripped outside around her stretched lips. Neither intended to clean it up.
"Look at you," She-ra said reverently, fingers pushing slowly in and out, lightly trailing across Catra's fangs. "So gorgeous for me."
Catra felt her hips jerk forward involuntarily at the praise, looking for some contact. She-ra took a step back instead, removing her hand. Catra kept her mouth open just in case those fingers would return. She hadn't been told to close it yet.
"Fuck, you're beautiful like this. Stay still so I can look at you," She-ra said.
She-ra was circling her slowly now, drinking in the sight of her, flushed and needy. As much as Catra tried to stay still, her tail had a mind of its own, thrashing behind her.
She-ra saw Catra's tail and looked amused. She lifted Catra's shirt, so it bound her arms at her sides, petting softly along her exposed abdomen. Catra didn't usually wear a bra, and today was no different, so She-ra had easy access to her chest. She circled one thumb around her nipple - a teasing touch.
Catra was good and didn't move. She wanted to take what She-ra would give her.
She-ra smiled at her obedience and used the other hand to pull her pants halfway down her thighs, exposing her from the knees up. She had left Catra to stand behind her, admiring the view. Catra couldn't hold back this time, letting out a frustrated whimper at the mixture of attention and lack of contact.
"None of that," Adora admonished. "Don't make me punish you more than you already punish yourself. You've been so good up until this point."
She didn't whimper again. Her thighs were wet enough that the cold air made her shiver, even with all of her fur to keep her warm. She-ra noticed and picked her up, placing her face down on their mattress. Her knees were held in place by her pants, her arms and legs underneath her. With Catra's arms and legs bound with her own clothing, all she could do was turn her head and breathe. She-ra covered her with her body to try to keep her warm.
"Such a good girl, Catra."
Despite the warmth, Catra let out a dissatisfied moan, her brain swimming. She didn't deserve this attention. She wasn't good. She thought she wanted to be punished, but this was all becoming too much. Catra felt tears running down her face.
"Catra," She-ra said, gently bringing her eyes to hers and wiping off her tears. "Sweet girl. Color?"
"Y-yellow," she replied hesitantly.
"Do you need me to give you room to move?" She-ra said instantly, already reaching for her clothing just in case.
"No, just - just - I need you to be gentle. Please," Catra asked through her tears. She was desperate for relief.
She-ra kissed her cheek and under her ear. She ran her fingers through her hair, comforting her. Catra immediately started purring again.
"Good girl, taking care of yourself," She-ra whispered, "I love it when you tell me what you need."
She-ra was rubbing her other hand along the backs of Catra's thighs. Catra felt her tail move up to She-ra’s face on its own, tracing the parts of the tiara that resembled her mask. She was Catra's just as much as Adora was hers.
"I don't want to punish you, Catra. You don't deserve to be punished." She-ra said, reaching behind them to run her fingers over Catra's clit.
"Hnnng-" Catra's body picked up right where it had left off.
"Whenever you think you need to punish yourself, think about this. Think about me telling you how good you are. That's what you deserve."
She-ra’s finger entered Catra again, and she nearly sobbed in relief. After so many weeks of denying herself, she finally felt full. She could feel her pulse in her clit. She'd already lost control of the noises that were coming out of her mouth. One quickly became two, as She-ra hit the spot on her front wall with the pads of her fingers, and Catra was on the verge of screaming.
"I need you to take care of the person I love, Catra. Can you do that for me?"
Everything focused on one thought. Catra didn't need to be punished; she needed to be loved.
"Y-yes. Yes, sir." She meant it.
She-ra’s hand kept up the same pace, always steady, adding quick circles on Catra's clit with her thumb.
"That's a good kitten. Let go now."
Catra's body immediately reacted to the command. She was practically vibrating with the amount she was purring, gasping as she came. Her tail lashed side to side, and she couldn't have controlled it if she tried. She-ra never left her side, whispering sweet things into her ear about how lovely she looked, how wonderful she was, how good she was for her, how much she loved her.
She-ra helped Catra take off the rest of her clothing, effectively unbinding her arms and legs. She laid Catra out flat on her stomach started massaging her limbs, carefully using her strength to get out any knots caused by staying in the same position for so long. By the time she had started on Catra's back, her low purr had turned into a full-on rumble.
"You're so tense," She-ra said, carefully approaching the subject. "I've been so worried about you."
Catra was about to cry. "I'm - I'm so sorry, Adora."
She-ra could sense her panic and guilt, briefly pausing her ministrations. "No - wait. I'm only saying this because I hate seeing you suffer on your own. You didn't hurt my feelings. I just...had to intervene," she elaborated.
Adora was satisfied with her work on Catra's muscles, shimmering down to her usual self. She pulled Catra on top of her, laying them down under blankets to keep them warm. She softly rubbed behind her ears, smiling when she heard Catra's purr start up again.
"I feel like there were so many better ways for me to deal with this. I just got back into that mindset of - well, you know. Thinking I only hurt people," Catra admitted, her voice hoarse from her tears. "You included."
"But you've done so much good, Catra. The towns you've helped have recovered much faster because of you," Adora corrected her gently. "The Horde wasn't kind to anyone, including us. You needed to push people away to survive...especially after I left."
"Adora, we've been over this," Catra corrected. "You did the right thing, and I didn't go with you, either."
Catra felt Adora's body relax in relief at her words. Apparently, Catra still had some work ahead to convince Adora that it wasn't all her fault.
"I still feel so guilty about it. I think that maybe if I had stayed, you wouldn't feel like you needed to do this when you are in pain," Adora quietly admitted.
"You aren't the cause of my self-destructive behavior," Catra said softly. "You help me open up to people, share my feelings. You stop me from running away when I get scared. I love you so much, Adora."
Catra nuzzled into the crook of Adora's neck, marking her like she did as a kitten. She felt Adora pull her in as if she would slip right through her fingers.
"Just...don't shut me out again," Adora whispered. "I can't guess what you're thinking. I want to know what's going on even if I can't help."
"I promise." Catra carefully shifted her head to kiss Adora softly. She tried to pour everything she felt right now into her body - how much she loved Adora. How she always had. How she couldn't do any of this without her.
Adora gave a happy hum. "It's nice not to be in survival mode anymore and have friends who love us."
"I don't know if Sparkles would say she loves me," Catra joked.
"She actually asked about you, you know."
Great, Catra thought. I'm glad that people noticed another one of my self-destructive breakdowns.
Adora stopped Catra's spiraling. "Nuh-uh. I know that look."
Catra gave an annoyed trill at Adora's words. She knew her too well.
"Catra, it's okay for people to know you're in pain," Adora said carefully. "It just means you have people who love you, who will take care of you when you can't."
Catra took another deep breath and nodded against Adora's chest. She was still clothed...Catra made a mental note to fix that later.
"Can we come up with some rules? Maybe it's setting a threshold on how many hours I can work per week. Maybe we check in on each other weekly, not sexually, so we catch it before I get this bad again. Not that I minded this kind of resolution," she giggled.
Adora's grin was so bright. That idiot really did love her. If she could make Adora smile like that, maybe she deserved it.
"We can definitely do that," Adora agreed, kissing her cheek gently. "What do you need right now? I want to take care of you."
"Don't let go of me. And I want to spend all day in bed tomorrow, no work allowed. Just the two of us," Catra said hesitantly. "I don't want to be alone."
Adora ran her fingers through Catra's hair, looking fondly at her.
"You never are," Adora replied softly.