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Loki Come Home

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Thor can't stop grieving his little brother. After the attack, he was put in prison in Asgard to spend the rest of his days in. Thor had to bathe Loki because no one else would do it and he could not be let out of his chains if he was out of his cell. Loki was only allowed to use his magic to bathe his certain parts of his body as he wasn't allowed out of his chains and if he used his magic to attack anyone, he would die immediately Then his brother faked his death by saying he killed himself.

 

Thor believed it and couldn’t bear his loss when really Loki has gone into hiding because he hates Thor. He left a note saying “If you loved me so much then you would have taken me out of your shadow and I would have been your equal.” Thor cried himself to sleep every night. 

 

Sometimes he slept in Loki’s room with Loki’s teddy bear which he always had when he was a child. Loki would cry so much whenever he lost it and Thor would do everything to try and find it for him. If it wasn’t found, then Thor would sleep by Loki’s side so he feels safe. Thor cried every night, his style even changed. He started wearing baggy clothes which were jet black and you could barely see him smiling. He stopped talking to everyone, even his own parents and the Avengers. He spent most of his days going on missions with the Avengers and staying in his room all day.

 

Then, he would go back to Asgard, he barely ate any of his food he just moved it all around. Then, he would go back to his bedroom and take out a box from under his bed. In the box were different items there was a photobook with photos of Thor and Loki from when they were just babies to children to teens and to almost adults.

 

He would look through all the photos smiling, with tears descending down his face one by one.

 

The next thing in the box was Loki’s blanket. This was Loki’s blanket that he had from when he was a baby to a toddler. It had Loki’s name on it in the middle and it was white with turquoise spots on it. Thor could only remember glimpses of memories of Loki with the blanket, either sleeping with the whole thing on him or putting it in his mouth until enough drool was able to cover the whole blanket. Thor made himself laugh a bit as he remembered all the joyful memories he had with his little brother. 

 

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he held the blanket hard with his hands and put his face into the blanket. He cried so hard that he let go of the blanket to cover his mouth so he doesn’t make a sound. It was silent in his bedroom. He never liked to make a sound of him whimpering or crying because he feared that his father would hear and Thor never liked to show his weak side of himself to Odin. His father always expected so much of Thor and he always saw Thor as a strong man when Thor only merely thought of himself as a boy. He treated himself like a young boy because he missed Loki so much.

 

Loki was like a part of his soul and with him gone, it was like Thor’s soul had just left his body.

 

On some occasions, Thor would sneak Loki’s old toys into his bedroom and play with them and he sometimes imagined Loki there playing with him so sometimes he would talk to himself as if he were talking to Loki. Thor would also often try not to sleep in Loki’s room even though it was very tempting. Loki’s scent of vanilla honey was too much to bear, he never forgot Loki’s scent. One time on Thor’s 1400th birthday, Loki got Thor a pillow for anxiety and stress and had infused his scent into it so it would be there permanently, so Thor  could smell it and he would be reminded of Loki.

 

It was one of the best gifts he had ever gotten in his life. But, he knew he couldn’t sleep there otherwise he would burst into tears and if he did, then his father would see him and think why he’s acting so childish. Thor’s bereavement for Loki was too much that even his own mother started to get worried that he was being so antisocial. Even the Avengers were getting worried about him since the only time that they ever saw Thor was on their missions and after that it was just like he disappeared like a magician. 

 

Chapter Text

The Avengers were waiting for Thor to arrive at the compound. He was late. Again. They were supposed to have a meeting to discuss the increasing crime rates but they always had to wait a few hours so Thor could come.

 

Tony stood up and walked to the glass wall behind him and gripped his fists. “Where the hell is Thor? He’s always late and it’s becoming so bad that we’re having to shorten our meeting times!” Tony turned around and walked furiously to the other side of the conference room. “I swear when he comes right now he’s gonna be in real deep shit.” 

 

Everyone looked at Tony with varied expressions. They’d never seen Tony this angry unless you counted the times Bruce ate the last Eggo Waffle. Steve stood up and walked up to Tony while the others watched anxiously.

 

“Just wait for him Tony. He’ll come. Thor might be busy. Earth is not the only place he has to protect but he has to protect Asgard as well and the other realms and he’s soon to be king.

 

“Oh really? Soon to be king? Well I don’t think he’ll make it as king- he’ll probably be late to everything there!” Tony said in an aggressive tone.

 

Then, there was a big sound outside and a beam of light appeared. Thor had arrived. Tony left the conference room and so did the others and he went to the window and saw Thor rushing in. “Finally, now I’m going to ask him why he’s so late.” Tony said as he walked towards the entrance. 

 

Thor rushed in, out of breath with his hair messy and a little bit of dirt on his face. “I’m so sorry I’m late I was uh...I was fighting these creatures on well, Vanaheim and m-more creatures were coming so I had to keep battling until all of them were gone.”

 

Tony walked closer to Thor. “Oh really? If you were fighting so many monsters, then where’s all the blood? Because surely you don’t bleed dirt Thor. I’m honestly done with you, the lies you make up every time are stupid. Why can’t you actually tell us why you’re late all the time? It’s better than making us angry all the time. Natasha laughed and added “I think it’s only you who gets pissed all the time, Tony. Besides, Thor has already been through so much, why can’t you just give him a break?”

 

Tony turned around and glared at Natasha, “Give him a break?! This is the freaking world we’re trying to save here! We don’t have time for breaks!”

 

Steve moved in front of Tony. “Stop it Stark, stop creating unnecessary arguments! We have work to do!” Then Thor moved forward with an ocean filling in his eyes and turned to face Tony. “You just don’t understand Stark, you will never understand what’s going on because you care about no one but yourself. Damn you Stark. Damn you.

 

Thor stormed off to his bedroom and slammed the door. The room was silent for a few seconds. Bruce spoke up “Ok so...let’s get back to work maybe Thor will join us later. Bruce then walked over to Tony and patted his shoulder lightly “Don’t worry bud, Thor will forgive you. Right now, just leave him be, he'll come down soon.”

 

“I don’t think he’s ever gonna forgive me Bruce. I think I have just lost my friend. My best friend.

 

 

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Thor was lying on his bed wearing a baggy hoodie, the hood pulled over his face.  He closed his eyes thinking of all the memories he had with Loki. He remembered a time when he and Loki were children and were climbing a tree, struggling together, but they helped each other up until they got to the branch. 

 

They were both proud of each other when they reached the top but suddenly the branch snapped due to the weight of the two, and they fell to the ground. Loki broke his ankle but Thor only grazed his arm.
“Ow! Loki! m-my arm! It hurts so much!” Thor screamed and started to cry. Loki tried to make his way over to Thor and looked at the graze in disbelief but quickly changed his expression to one of concern. 

 

“Don’t worry Thor, everything will be alright, I’m here. I can carry you back, it's no big deal.”

 

“But Loki! You’ve broken your ankle! There’s no way you’d be able to do that!

 

“Shut your mouth Thor. Now get on my back.”

 

Thor got onto Loki’s back and he carried him all the way back to the palace. Loki asked one of the maids to call Odin and Frigga. They rushed in to see Loki and Thor lying on the sofa groaning as tears were descending down their faces. Frigga rushed to them. 

 

“Oh, my sons! What happened?”

 

Thor groaned but managed to get up and speak “We were climbing a tree and the branch snapped, I grazed my arm and Loki broke his ankle. But he still carried me all the way back to the palace, mother!”

 

“Yes, I did. He was crying over a graze and I had to carry him back. But my leg is snapped.” Loki said. 

 

Odin stepped forward with an expressionless “Well done Loki”. He then kneeled down to Thor and kissed his temple and tucked his blonde hair behind his ear. “My son, this graze is really bad! We need to get the nurse quickly, you have a sparring match tomorrow! What will everyone think when Odin’s son is injured already?! They’ll think of you as weak! We must get this healed right now! Frigga, you can take Loki to one of the nurses to get his ankle in a cast.

 

The look of hurt flashed across Loki’s face. He has never felt so heartbroken that his father was choosing to care more for Thor than him. But this was only the beginning of it, now he would just have to get used to it.

 

Thor woke up with watery eyes. He had taken a nap while remembering the memory with his brother. He hated it so much that he could have helped Loki when they were younger, they could have been the bestest of friends, they could have fought together, worked together on everything. It made him feel so shitty about himself. 

 

Thor had found a new hobby of listening to music made on Midgard. He liked it because it sounded different to Asgard's music and there were so many different types and so many different people. But Thor had a liking for the rapper XXXTentacion. It also made him feel better whenever he sensed that he was about to break down over his grieving for Loki. 

 

He liked his music because he understood the music and one of his favourite songs was Jocelyn Flores. 

 

He understood the lyrics and he could relate so much to them. He knew every word by heart. 

 

Thor plugged his headphones into his phone and played the song. He laid back onto his bed and closed his eyes and let the music take over his mind and body. At last it got the rap, Thor's favourite part. 

 

I'm in pain, wanna put ten shots in my brain

I've been tripping 'bout some things, can't change

Suicidal, same time I'm tame

Picture this, in bed, get a phone call

Girl that you f*cked with killed herself

That was this summer and nobody helped

And ever since then, man, I hate myself

Wanna f*cking end it

Pessimistic

All wanna see me with no pot to piss in

But n**gas been excited 'bout the grave I'm digging

Having conversations about my haste decisions

F*cking sickening

At the same time, memory surfaced through the grapevine

'Bout my uncle playing with a slipknot

Post traumatic stress got me f*cked up

Been fucked up since a couple months they had a n**ga locked up

 

I be feeling pain, I be feeling pain just to hold on

And I don't feel the same, I'm so numb

I be feeling pain, I be feeling pain just to hold on

And I don't feel the same, I'm so numb

 

The song ended and Thor was back to a peaceful sleep and all he hoped for was to get out of this lost tunnel of sadness. He hoped that he would find the exit, and at the exit, would be a shining light of happiness. Maybe even Loki- but that could never be possible. Could it?