Thor can't stop grieving his little brother. After the attack, he was put in prison in Asgard to spend the rest of his days in. Thor had to bathe Loki because no one else would do it and he could not be let out of his chains if he was out of his cell. Loki was only allowed to use his magic to bathe his certain parts of his body as he wasn't allowed out of his chains and if he used his magic to attack anyone, he would die immediately Then his brother faked his death by saying he killed himself.
Thor believed it and couldn’t bear his loss when really Loki has gone into hiding because he hates Thor. He left a note saying “If you loved me so much then you would have taken me out of your shadow and I would have been your equal.” Thor cried himself to sleep every night.
Sometimes he slept in Loki’s room with Loki’s teddy bear which he always had when he was a child. Loki would cry so much whenever he lost it and Thor would do everything to try and find it for him. If it wasn’t found, then Thor would sleep by Loki’s side so he feels safe. Thor cried every night, his style even changed. He started wearing baggy clothes which were jet black and you could barely see him smiling. He stopped talking to everyone, even his own parents and the Avengers. He spent most of his days going on missions with the Avengers and staying in his room all day.
Then, he would go back to Asgard, he barely ate any of his food he just moved it all around. Then, he would go back to his bedroom and take out a box from under his bed. In the box were different items there was a photobook with photos of Thor and Loki from when they were just babies to children to teens and to almost adults.
He would look through all the photos smiling, with tears descending down his face one by one.
The next thing in the box was Loki’s blanket. This was Loki’s blanket that he had from when he was a baby to a toddler. It had Loki’s name on it in the middle and it was white with turquoise spots on it. Thor could only remember glimpses of memories of Loki with the blanket, either sleeping with the whole thing on him or putting it in his mouth until enough drool was able to cover the whole blanket. Thor made himself laugh a bit as he remembered all the joyful memories he had with his little brother.
Tears streamed down his cheeks as he held the blanket hard with his hands and put his face into the blanket. He cried so hard that he let go of the blanket to cover his mouth so he doesn’t make a sound. It was silent in his bedroom. He never liked to make a sound of him whimpering or crying because he feared that his father would hear and Thor never liked to show his weak side of himself to Odin. His father always expected so much of Thor and he always saw Thor as a strong man when Thor only merely thought of himself as a boy. He treated himself like a young boy because he missed Loki so much.
Loki was like a part of his soul and with him gone, it was like Thor’s soul had just left his body.
On some occasions, Thor would sneak Loki’s old toys into his bedroom and play with them and he sometimes imagined Loki there playing with him so sometimes he would talk to himself as if he were talking to Loki. Thor would also often try not to sleep in Loki’s room even though it was very tempting. Loki’s scent of vanilla honey was too much to bear, he never forgot Loki’s scent. One time on Thor’s 1400th birthday, Loki got Thor a pillow for anxiety and stress and had infused his scent into it so it would be there permanently, so Thor could smell it and he would be reminded of Loki.
It was one of the best gifts he had ever gotten in his life. But, he knew he couldn’t sleep there otherwise he would burst into tears and if he did, then his father would see him and think why he’s acting so childish. Thor’s bereavement for Loki was too much that even his own mother started to get worried that he was being so antisocial. Even the Avengers were getting worried about him since the only time that they ever saw Thor was on their missions and after that it was just like he disappeared like a magician.