„But it's gotta be so much fun.“
Bones arches one expressive eyebrow and his right eye twitches slightly. Oh, they're in the 'twitchy eye'-stage already, Jim will get so much heat for this one, that's for sure.
“No Jim, I'm pretty fucking sure it won't”, he growls, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Aw, come on Bones. Why not?”, Jim has the gall to pout and give him the damn puppy dog eyes.
“Jim. I love you. But I won't go to this damn Halloween party wearing this”, Bones says very calmly and very slowly as if he were speaking with a very stupid person. Jim is pretty sure there is no 'as if' for Bones in this case.
“Why not? You'd look the perfect mix of hot and cute.”
Bones rolls his eyes and grumbles. “You gotta be kidding me. Jim, for the last time. I'll not go to this party wearing nothing but black leather pants, cat ears, a tail, and a collar.”
Jim is about to object or whine or most likely both, but Bones rises a hand to stall him before he can get going.
“If you don't drop it, you, the couch, and your right hand will get really closely acquainted with one another for the next month.”
Jim gasps and stares at Bones in pure shock. “You wouldn't dare.”
“Try me”, Bones says calmly.
“Ok, alright”, Jim backtracks hastily and sighs deeply. “Then what do you want to wear? There is no way we are not going because I clearly remember you agreeing.”
Bones gives him a withering look. Jim is right, he did agree to go to this dumb party but he thinks it's hardly fair holding him to his word when he is in postcoital bliss. He'd probably agree to help Jim murder Finnegan and let the body vanish afterward in this particular state.
“I'll go, but under one condition”, he states and Jim rolls his eyes.
“And which would that be?”
“I'll choose the costumes for both of us. No questions asked and no right of veto.”
Jim considers this for a moment, weighing his options and the possible outcome. He probably pegs Leonard as a traditionalist in this case and assumes he wouldn't pick anything too extreme. Even though Leonard isn't quite sure what in Jim's opinion even counts as 'extreme'.
Leonard nods and moves to take the costume, which Jim had picked for him, with him, but Jim grabs it before he can even get close. He holds the bundle protectively, pressing it to his chest and out of reach. Bones gives him a bemused look, taken aback by Jim's behavior.
“What are you doing?”, Jim asks, eyes narrowing suspiciously at Bones.
“I want to take it back to the shop, obviously. We won't need it.” He reaches out a hand, prompting Jim to give him the rather offending costume.
“But..”, Jim tries to protest and holds it a little bit tighter. Bones sighs, but he doesn't drop his hand.
“Jim. Please try to be reasonable.”
Jim looks at him with those big blue eyes, begging him silently, but Bones doesn't budge. Not this time. Jim deflates visibly and the sad look on his lover's face is almost enough for Leonard to reconsider his decision. Almost. Jim hands him the bundle, but not without running a wishful finger over the smooth leather surface of the collar.
“Fine, be like that”, he grumbles and flops himself on the couch.
“Thank you. And, yes. I'm exactly like that”, Bones counters, taking his wallet and comm before leaving the apartment. Seeing as this stupid party is this evening, there is not much time for him to find acceptable replacement costumes for both of them, so he heads for the shop nearest to the Academy campus. Unfortunately for him, he didn't account for the sheer masses of people obviously in need of a costume at the same time as he is. He swears under his breath and scowls furiously as he stomps along the aisles stacked with an eye-cancer-inducing variety of colorful costumes of any kind, shape, or size. There is some rather decent stuff between a whole lot of cheap rubbish. But his main problem remains, he simply has no idea where to start and what to choose.
Bones grumbles in endless frustration when he suddenly sees a flash of red and green out of the corner of his eyes. He quickly turns into the next aisles and is more than a little surprised to find Gaila and Uhura between fake plastic skeletons and glittery full-body suits. Nyota spots him first.
“Hey Len”, she greets him warmly and stops browsing through various outfits hanging on a clothes rail.
“Hey, Nyota. Hey, Gaila. What are you doing here?”
She snorts. “Probably the same thing as you.”
“So, you too search for a costume to wear to a ridiculous Halloween Party because the one Jim provided for you was completely out of the question?”, he offers with a raised eyebrow. Nyota just rolls her eyes but smiles as she is doing so.
“Well, maybe not the exact same thing.”
At this Gaila slides up next to him, peering into the paper bag Bones carries with Jim's preferred costume. “You don't like the one Jim picked for you? Why? I even helped him. It's positively naughty.” And damn it, now she is pouting at him, too. Nyota peaks up at that and Leonard can't fight the flush creeping up his neck and cheeks.
“Oho, what did he choose?”
“It's a really sexy cat-costume”, Gaila provides helpfully, and Leonard groans. What the hell is just wrong with those two, first Jim, now Gaila.
Nyota sneaks a look inside the bag. Her face is caught in an expression as if she isn't sure if she should be offended or intrigued.
“That's so typical for him”, she huffs eventually and Leonard grins a little. Jim's and Nyota's relationship towards another still amuses him endlessly. “I can see why you decided to go out and choose your own costume.”
“Hey now”, Gaila sounds a little hurt and Nyota is quick to reassure her friend.
“Sorry Gaila, it's not that the costume isn't nice per se, but it's just not something to wear in a public setting, less a Halloween Party at Starfleet Academy.” Nyota turns back to the clothes rail in front of her, pulling out different outfits to look at before hanging them back.
“I think you should get him back for even suggesting something like this with his costume. I saw some really hideous ones over there”, she provides helpfully, but Leonard isn't even listening anymore, instead, his eyes are fixed on the item she is currently holding.
“Say Nyota, do you want to buy this one?”, he asks finally looking up to his friend. Nyota blinks a little confused and looks down at the outfit she is holding, a sly smirk spreading over her lips.
“No Len, it's not really my style.” She holds it out towards Leonard and he takes it with a nod. He rotates it this way and that, while Nyota and Gaila are watching him with equally amused expressions.
“Well, did you find something fitting to solve your problem?”
Leonard looks up from the outfit and gives them a mischievous grin. “I believe I have.”
Bones comes home to Jim sprawled out on the couch like he owns the damn place, deeply immersed in one of his thick hardcover books. He looks up over the top of the book as Bones enters, trying not to vibrate with the sheer amount of excitement buzzing through his body. He fails miserably. Bones drops the bag with Jim's costume smack center on his stomach, making the younger man startle and wheeze a little.
“What was that for?”, Jim complains but almost instantly tears into the bag, pulling out item after item and spreading them on the couch.
“Äh …. Bones?”, he begins but Bones hold up a hand.
“Get changed, Jim. We don't wanna be late.”
Jim looks between his boyfriend and the pieces in front of him with confusion plainly plastered across his face. Bones just smirks and vanishes into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Jim, in the meantime, picks up the main article of clothing. Did he really misjudge Bones this blatantly? Is there something Bones didn't tell him or something he misses in their relationship? But then, why not just tell him? Bones isn't usually the type of man holding back with his opinion, especially concerning Jim.
Jim just shrugs, deciding to ask Bones later, and starts to dress himself in his new costume.
Which is actually easier said than done. He has managed to put on the black pair of overknee stockings, but now he is stuck. He stepped into the tight-fitting black and blue strapless dress with petticoat, but he couldn't reach far enough behind his back to close the damn thing. How women manage to dress themselves in such outfits, he doesn't know.
“Need a hand?”, Bones drawls as es steps up right behind him and pulls up the zipper effortlessly.
“Thanks”, Jim huffs and turns around. “Really Bones? This is your idea of a fitting costume?”
Jim unconsciously puts his hands on his hips and levels Leonard with an unimpressed glare. Bones just smirks and lets his eyes wander up and down Jim's body.
“Yes, it is.”
Jim growls but then stops short. “Where is your costume?” He gestures at Leonard only wearing a T-Shirt and an old pair of sweatpants.
“Patience Jim. Let's get you ready first.”
Jim grumbles about damn secretive bastard boyfriends but lets Leonard help him with the rest of his outfit. Which really are just a pair of boots with a slight heel, a black long-sleeved bolero, and a dark-blue witch's hat. Jim stands and turns in front of the hallway mirror, checking his reflection for any errors. Surprisingly enough he scrubs up pretty damn well.
“Hm, I knew you'd look good in this”, Bones comments, reaching forward and tipping Jim's hat slightly to one side.
“Yeah well. I look good in everything”, Jim smirks broadly and pulls back a little. Leonard chooses not to comment on that.
“So. What about you?”
“Just a moment.” Bones steps back into the bedroom and Jim waits patiently. He hears the telltale rustling of clothes being shed and then - nothing. There is only silence and Jim starts to worry a little bit, but before he can bring himself to follow Bones into the bedroom, his boyfriend emerges in his small fluffy, tortoiseshell cat-form.
Jim gapes openly as Bones saunters over and flops his cut but down in front of his feet. He looks up at Jim, tail swishing slightly and his amber gaze intent.
"Bones, I really don't understand your Jedi-voodoo-cat-telepathy-thing.”
The cat rolls his eyes in a remarkable imitation of the human Bones before he tabs his front paw against Jim's leg.
“What? You want up?” Jim is more than a little confused and bewildered but he complies and lifts Bones up into his arms. Even more surprising Bones doesn't plan to stay there and climbs up further over Jim's shoulder and settles around his neck, hind legs on one shoulder and front legs on the other one. He nuzzles his warm nose against Jim's cheek and purrs loudly.
Jim can't hold back the surprised laughter bubbling up and shaking his body. There are tears in his eyes.
“Bones you sly bastard. I see. Every good witch needs a cat.”
Bones purrs and nods, nuzzling closer. Furthermore, in this form he doesn't have to socialize at all, he doesn't have to wear a stupid costume and can let Jim carry him around all evening. If he gets some free ear-scratches and belly rubs on the way, then that's just a bonus.