The lights wash the stage with a warm, inviting glow revealing a comfy looking chair situated next to a small table with a massive classic tome and, what appears to be, a box of supremely fancy chocolates. A shining, ethereal being, beaming, enters from the wings, dressed from top to toe in various shades of beige and pale tartan. It's not exactly stylish (though don't tell her that), but it gives off a sort of sexy librarian vibe. The pale blonde beauty takes center stage, winks at the audience, and snaps her fingers. As if summoned, "Killer Queen" by Queen fills the auditorium, and the angel begins to dance modestly for the crowd. Once she has executed a passable gavotte (angels don't really dance after all), she retreats to her chair, pops a chocolate into her mouth, and begins to read The Complete Works of Oscar Wilde.
The music changes to "Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy" by Queen, when a fiery-haired demon slithers on stage drinking what is sure to be a stolen bottle of expensive wine. Completely engrossed in her book, the angel doesn't notice that her domain has been breached, but then again, this particular agent of the occult has been allowed to breach her barriers for centuries. Annoyed by the lack of welcome, the demon saunters over and takes a peek at what could possibly be pulling the angel's attention away from her. I mean, hasn't she read Oscar Wilde enough? She certainly never stops talking about how "absolutely lovely," he was. Ugh.
A quick peek reveals that the angel is, in fact, not reading the beloved Irish poet, but, oh, this is too good! With a quick smirk to the audience, the demon snatches the book out of the angel's hands, rips off the dust cover, and reveals a verifiable smorgasbord of Scottish Romance stories. Embarrassed, the angel snatches the book back and acts as if she's never seen it before - it's just a shelving mishap - and unceremoniously tosses it to the ground. The demon is hardly able to count to three before the angel scoops the book up, apologizes to it, and storms past. Oh, well, this is not how the day was supposed to go at all, but they don't call her the wily serpent for nothing! She steals a chocolate out of the box - and oh angel, really these are rather decadent - and tempts her companion into accepting the token of her apology. At first, she resists, like a good agent of the lord, but it's just so tempting, and she relents, sucking the sweet confection from the demon's fingers. Emboldened, the demon spins her around and begins to sway to the music. They are so close; anything could happen. Snapped from their reverie and realizing just that, the angel pulls away and barks, "We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you!" to which the demon responds, "You doooo!"
The audience groans as they too are denied release.
Standing on opposite edges of the stage, the two immortal beings waffle as "Somebody to Love" also by Queen plays. They sneak longing looks, trying to reclaim the ruined momentum of the moment, and shyly creep toward each other until they bump shoulders and secretly hold hands. It's too much for the demon, who has learned to hide her feelings for 6,000 years, and this time she is the one who breaks away. The angel has had enough, and under all that sweet fluffy demeanor lies the heart of a warrior, and this warrior is ready to fight for her love. With a quick swig of the wine - oh, that is good - the angel marches over to her demon, grabs her face, and lays a big ole kiss to her warm and supple lips. Of course, that may have been a little too hasty, and the angel immediately has doubts. As she pulls away, she mutters, "I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing." The quite literally gobsmacked demon follows, saying, "Oh, you're an angel. I don't think you can do the wrong thing," kissing her with all the unsaid passion of eons of pining.
As they kiss, Madonna's "Like a Prayer" (this one must be the angel's pick) plays. When they finally pull away for air, they hold hands as if they refuse ever to be parted again. Invigorated by the kiss, the angel encourages her demon to take off that dreadful silver tie thing and gives her a smack on the rear as a thank you. The two begin to undress each other, one more composed than the other, as the demon literally worships at the feet of the angel. Startled by the devotion, or perhaps stimulated by it, the angel pulls her demon up onto her feet, brushes the hair out of her shielded eyes, and tosses her into the chair. With a quick snap, the angel metaphysically ties her down (there will be time for rope later) and continues to strip for her beloved.
The demon, who has never been more turned on or helpless in her very long life, struggles against the bonds but cannot do anything but watch. She makes faces at the audience, pleading for their help, but no one is looking at her as they are all entranced by the stripping divine. The angel removes the last of her clothing, except the bow tie, of course, revealing her white leather undergarments, frilly panties, and flaming sword pasties (knew I left it somewhere handy!) Done with her tease, she makes her way over to the struggling occult being and continues to undress her, removing her pentagram covered boots and leather pants (and, well, yes, that is a bit of a struggle), revealing a snake covered body teddy. Finally, the angel removes her demon's signature glasses, as she would very much like to look into the face of her beloved. Still, the demon refuses to open her eyes, afraid that if she opens them, she'll be awakened from this dream. Ah, well, that may be a slight disappointment, but the angel is on a mission, and without so much as a tickety-boo, she buries her face into the plush folds of her demon and eats, licks, and savors like it's the final supper. Unable to maintain her composure at being absolutely devoured by the naughty angel - and really, are you sure you're an angel with THAT tongue? Gluttony is a sin.- her eyes snap open, revealing a shock of yellow and absolutely blown snake pupils. When the angel finishes, she pops up, winks to the audience, pulls a hanky out of her panties, wipes her mouth, and says rather proudly, "temptation accomplished!" as she practically skips off stage. The demon, whose world has been completely turned on its head, snaps back to reality and bellows, "ANGEL!" as she is still tied to her chair by heavenly implications. Silly her, the angel in question, pops back on stage, snaps her fingers, and frees her love, who smiles at the audience, grabs the wine, and moves as fast as those hips will allow.
Can I get a wahoo, or can I get a waHOO?!