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Idiots in Love

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The day started like any other day on the Nemesis. Ravage laid sprawled on top of the monitor Soundwave typed at. The twins were off causing trouble somewhere else. Buzzsaw slept in Soundwave’s dock, and Lazerbeak was due back any minute now from her scouting mission at the Ark. Ravage had nothing to be worried about. 

Lazerbeak returned right on time and docked with Soundwave seamlessly, as always, after ejecting a data chip into the silent mech’s open palm. Ravage perked up a bit, no longer about to slip back into recharge. She was curious about what her sister had brought back. There usually wasn’t a lot going on with the Autobots, but it never hurt to be wary. Plus there might be some new drama occurring.

Soundwave slipped the chip into his monitor and Ravage jumped down so she could help review the footage with her host. It went smoother if the two of them did it together. Everything seemed normal as they both skimmed the video clips and a few audio clips Lazerbeak had taken. Soundwave slowed the video down when Jazz appeared on screen, which was also a normal occurrence, and watched the saboteur saunter through the hallways. Lazerbeak had shot the video of the mech’s back and Ravage was certain Soundwave’s focus was solely on Jazz’s aft. She rolled her optics, but let her host keep watching without comment. At least they could always use the excuse that Jazz was typically up to something. 

And then Jazz turned and strolled into an office– Prowl’s office to be exact. The one place on the whole of the Ark the cassettes couldn’t get into. It was locked down harder than Red Alert’s office. Soundwave sped the video up, digits tapping out impatiently, and then in agitation as the time counter in the corner kept going and no one had left yet. This was one of the longer meetings, which Ravage was sure meant it wasn’t a business call. 

Soundwave slowed the video when the door opened and both Jazz and Prowl walked out. They looked a little too put together as far as Ravage was concerned and she knew Soundwave felt the same. They were also talking, helms close together and arms brushing against each other. Ravage could feel the waves of jealousy rolling off her host. Even without the audio, it was obvious the two mechs were discussing something of a personal nature.

They froze in the middle of a hallway split, Jazz grabbed Prowl’s wrist before he could turn and walk the opposite way. The smaller mech said something, sliding his servo up to Prowl’s shoulder, the other lifting to rest in the same spot on the Praxian’s opposite shoulder. They stared at each other for a few kliks before Jazz said something and Prowl’s whole frame relaxed from the stiff posture it had been in. The Polyhexian slid his servos back down the other’s arms and squeezed Prowl’s servos with his own. 

They parted ways after that. Ravage slunk down off the monitor bank and onto Soundwave’s lap. He rested a servo on her back and kept watching the recordings Lazerbeak had brought back. Ravage could tell he wasn’t paying attention to the monitor though, his sole focus on that last interaction between Jazz and Prowl. Ravage curled up, careful to not dislodge Soundwave’s reassuring servo on her back. Jealousy was still the prominent emotion in the host’s field when Ravage finally slipped into recharge.


Things had been going great. All of Jazz’s carefully laid plans had been going so smoothly. And then Prowl had gotten cold feet, as the humans would say, and Jazz had to sweep in and help his Amica out. It had worked out in the end, but then things had turned weird.

The very next fight with the Decepticons had also started out like every other fight. Megatron and Optimus started brawling, Starscream found a way to mess everything up, and then Soundwave was not where he was supposed to be. Jazz had been so busy looking for the other he’d missed Rumble diving between Ironhide’s legs and gunning for Prowl. Prowl had missed it too and the next thing everyone knew, Prowl had been sent flying by a piledriver to the back. Jazz gave up his hunt for Soundwave to run and help his Amica get to Ratchet.

As if that was bad enough, the next fight had seen Frenzy launching himself at Prowl with a knife, and then Lazerbeak and Buzzsaw had dive-bombed him in the fight after that one. Prowl had set himself farther back and away from the main fighting in their next run-in with the ‘Cons and should’ve been safe, except Ravage had jumped on his back and torn up his doorwings. Jazz would’ve been more worried, but First Aid had been the closest to Prowl’s location and had taken care of the Praxian and continued to do so throughout his stay in the MedBay. Which meant all of Jazz’s carefully laid plans didn’t go to waste. In fact, they got put to good and even better use.

He was still concerned about the sudden attention to Prowl though. Especially since said attention was only coming from Soundwave’s cassettes and no one else. Jazz kept thinking about it, trying to work out why all of a sudden the Decepticon’s spymaster and his cassettes were gunning for Prowl. It just didn’t make any sense.

And then there was the attack on the oil rig. Prowl had gotten thrown off the edge and somehow managed to hold on. Jazz wasted no time running to help his friend, pulling him up and wrapping an arm around the other’s back for support. Their helms bumped together lightly and Prowl let out a heavy sigh. 

“Thank you, Jazz.”

“Anytime. You know I’ve got your back.” They separated after that, but Jazz got a good look at Soundwave without the dark blue mech noticing. Even with the visor and mask, Jazz could see murderous jealousy in every line of Soundwave’s frame. Jazz frowned. He needed to know for certain if it really was jealousy, and he needed to figure it out soon.


Soundwave stared at the screen, frame vibrating in barely contained jealousy at what he saw. Jazz and Prowl stood close together outside of the Ark. They weren’t on patrol and Soundwave knew it was both their off shift. They’d been talking and then Jazz sidled closer, so their plating nearly brushed together. Then Jazz’s servo caressed Prowl’s elbow, running over smooth plating, skimming over the other mech’s wrist. Their fingers flirted together before Jazz hooked their pinkies together. A bright grin spread across the saboteur’s face and a blush flushed over Prowl’s cheeks. Jealousy flared and exploded through Soundwave when Jazz laughed at the Praxian. The sound bright and clear over the recording. Buzzsaw hadn’t been close enough to overhear what they were discussing, but Jazz’s laugh carried easily.

Ravage looked up at Soundwave from the blue mech’s pedes. She sighed, rolling her optics, and then slunk behind the monitor bank. She carefully pulled the cord out as the recording started back up from the beginning.

“Ravage: desist.” Soundwave snapped.

“No. You need to stop moping and you need to stop watching this video. This is getting ridiculous. You’ve already watched it ten times. What else is there to see?”

“Jazz holding hands with someone else.” Rumble snickered.

Soundwave’s frame tensed. “Rumble: enough.”

Rumble rolled his optics and started to respond, only for Frenzy to beat him to it. “Look, Boss, you just need to get rid of the competition is all. We’ve been trying to, but it’s so hard for us to do on our own.”

Soundwave paused, looking between Rumble and Frenzy in thought. It wasn’t a bad idea. “Removing Prowl: boon to war effort and frees Jazz from emotional entanglements.”

“This is a bad idea,” Ravage piped up, crawling back out from behind the monitors.

“No, it’s brilliant,” Frenzy snapped.

“Yeah! You’re just mad you didn’t think of it.” Rumble said.

“And what is Jazz going to think of Soundwave when he deactivates his lover?”

That gave them all pause and Ravage was certain she had won the argument. Until Soundwave responded. “Tell Jazz: Megatron wanted Prowl’s deactivation. Ordered Soundwave to do it.”

The twins cheered and Soundwave left the empty monitor room they’d been in to start plans for the next raid. Ravage sighed, slipping out of the room while her siblings made fools of themselves. She knew this plan was going to backfire.


“How is he?” Jazz asked as soon as Ratchet let him into the MedBay.

“He’s fine, he’ll make it. I’m making sure he isn’t allowed out on the field for a while though.”

Jazz nodded along. “That’s good, that’s good. Can I see him?”

“Go ahead,” Ratchet said, stepping aside and waving in the direction of Prowl’s room. “He’s likely still out right now. First Aid will be in charge of him once he wakes up.”

“‘Kay,” Jazz said, rushing to the correct room. 

Prowl was laid out and covered in weld lines with wires coming out everywhere. Jazz had to be careful when he approached his Amica thanks to all the wires and medical equipment hooked up to him. He sat down in the only open space on the berth and carefully laid down, letting his field reach out to tangle with Prowl’s nearly non-existent one. He laid there for a while before the door slid open and First Aid walked in.

The medic smiled at Jazz. “Hey, how are you holding up?”

“I’ll be alright. How are you doing?” Jazz asked back, shifting around a bit to better look at Aid.

“I’m holding up fine. Just here to check on Prowl,” First Aid looked at a number of the monitors before walking up to the berth. He started checking over the welds and exposed wires before finally looking over at Jazz. “Did Ratchet check you out?”

“No, but I didn’t sustain any severe injuries. I’ll be fine after a good recharge cycle.”

“Alright, get some sleep and I also won’t tell Ratchet you’re sleeping in here.” 

Jazz nodded, watching Aid turn to leave. “And Aid, I’m really glad you’re the one watching after my Amica.”

First Aid smiled back. “Thanks, I am too. I wish I didn’t have to, but I’m glad I am.” First Aid paused in the doorway, looking back at Jazz. “By the way, do you know why Soundwave tried to take out Prowl so violently?”

“Yeah I got an idea,” Jazz said, mouth twisting into a frown. “I’m gonna keep looking into it, but I’m pretty sure I know why.”

First Aid nodded and left. Jazz sighed and snuggled back into Prowl’s shoulder, optics sliding closed. It took a while for him to drift off, but the steady beeping in the background helped soothe Jazz into recharging.


Soundwave watched the hacked monitoring video. Jazz had left shortly after Prowl woke up, needing to deal with work and the fallout from their last fight. Soundwave was upset the plan hadn’t worked out as it should’ve. Bluestreak had intervened and then First Aid had been there and Soundwave hadn’t been aware the young medic was even in the area.

Prowl was propped up on several pillows Jazz had brought in earlier much to Ratchet’s dismay, at least as far as Soundwave could tell, at any rate. He looked like he was napping at the moment and Soundwave had already started making plans for how Ravage could get to him and finish the job when First Aid walked in.

Prowl online his optics and looked up, optics brightening and a smile crossing his face. Even First Aid seemed to cheer up immediately. Soundwave hurriedly turned on the audio feed.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I’ve felt better, but it’s not so bad now you’re here.” 

First Aid giggled, walking over to the berth and sitting down on the edge. He pulled a datapad out of his subspace and handed it to Prowl. “I managed to grab this from your office for you and slip it past Ratchet. It’s not work, but I figured you’d like to be able to read or play some of your simulation games.”

Prowl smiled softly at the younger mech. “Thank you, Aid, I really appreciate this. Do you have time to stay for a bit? Jazz just left and won’t be back for a while. I could really use the company if you’re free.”

“I’d love to spend more time with you.” First Aid said, shifting until he was nearly touching Prowl. “And I just happened to finish my shift, so I have all the time in the world to spend with you now.”

Soundwave watched as the two smiled sweetly at each other and First Aid reached for one of Prowl’s servos. They threaded their digits together, Soundwave continued to watch them until Ratchet barged in hours later and demanded First Aid leave to get actual rest outside of the MedBay.

It kept happening too. Somehow, Jazz’s shifts always aligned with First Aid’s off-shifts, which saw the young medic spending as much time as he possibly could in Prowl’s recovery room. Soundwave figured it would get better when the Praxian was finally released, but then Lazerbeak returned from a scouting mission. 

First Aid and Prowl were almost always together. They bumped into each other by accident in the hallways, they shared Energon in an abandoned rec room while Jazz was on-shift, and they spent ridiculous amounts of time stumbling through awkward conversations with each other. And then Soundwave reached the end of the last recording and, even without any audio, Soundwave could tell First Aid was giggling. Prowl leaned in quickly and pressed a kiss to the little medic’s check, which silenced him instantly. The widest dopest grin split First Aid’s face.

Soundwave felt fury burn inside his spark. How dare Prowl do such a thing to Jazz? How could he even look at another mech when he already had the perfect one at his side? Soundwave had to do something about this. He had to reveal how horrible of a partner Prowl was.

Ravage looked up from her spot wrapped around Soundwave’s pedes. She glared at the host mech but didn’t say anything. They were well past the point of logic and reasoning now. She doubted even pointing out that they were on opposite factions would hinder Soundwave much at this point. Megatron probably couldn’t even order Soundwave to stop this foolishness. If she thought he could’ve stopped the spymaster, she already would’ve tattled. 


Prowl had barely been out of the MedBay for a week, but already Jazz’s plans were moving right along. Everything was running more or less smoothly until about two weeks later. Small things had been happening that weren’t too shocking at first, but Jazz was getting the idea that someone was trying to sabotage all of his hard work. If he was on monitor duty, his screen would “glitch” and suddenly he’d have an image or vid capture of Prowl in the hallways not in his office when he was supposed to be. 

Jazz would always fix the issue quickly, so no one else would notice how the image or vid capture was clearly not from one of the Ark’s security cameras. When that didn’t work after two days, there was a slight shift in scheduling where Aid and Jazz had the same on and off shifts, which had not been authorized by anyone as far as Jazz knew. Prowl had fixed the issue himself almost immediately and Jazz only knew about it because the Praxian had brought it up to him at their dinner later that evening. 

Things kept escalating to the point that Jazz eventually almost walked in on one of Prowl and First Aid’s dates. He had an idea who it was, but he couldn’t be certain. There wasn’t any proof. Yeah, he had the image and vid captures, and while they were from hard to reach spots unless you were a cassette, it wasn’t enough proof. Jazz would just have to be careful and keep the situation under careful surveillance for the time being.


None of Soundwave’s plans were working. He couldn’t figure out why. Sure Jazz was extremely intelligent, but he seemed to not notice Prowl’s infidelity no matter what Soundwave tried. He was fed up and by the time they had another fight with the Autobots, Soundwave was done with waiting and playing nice. He aimed at Prowl and even took a few shots at First Aid before Optimus Prime called for a retreat.

The mood at the base was ecstatic and Soundwave basked in the happy fields and thoughts around him. The victory was mostly his doing with how severely he’d injured Prowl, but no one was focusing on that. The huge stack of Energon was far more important. Plus, Soundwave hadn’t waited for congratulations or even for the party to start. He’d retreated almost immediately to the monitor room as soon as they got back. Jazz had spent a good hour pacing in front of the MedBay doors until Ratchet had come out and spoken quietly with Jazz. Soundwave didn’t have any audio, but he knew the Praxian had survived his injuries yet again. He also knew First Aid had been left in the room with him to keep an eye on him. 

Soundwave expected Jazz to run in and check his lover over for himself and catch First Aid and Prowl in their cheating ways. The saboteur didn’t though. Instead, he walked quietly and purposefully to his habsuite and didn’t come out. Soundwave waited, and waited, and nothing happened.

“Ya know, I would’ve thought you’d be out there with all the others celebratin’ this big victory. ‘Specially since ya seem so focused on hurtin’ Prowl.” A smooth voice spoke up from behind him.

Soundwave froze, his whole frame shuddering at the ice in the other’s voice. He turned slowly, staring down at the small Polyhexian leaning up against the doorway. His arms were crossed under his bumper and his visor glinted in the low light. Soundwave could only stare blankly at the object of his desire. Jazz really was attractive, and incredibly dangerous, and Soundwave wanted nothing more than to hold his servo.

“And why is that, huh? What have ya got against Prowl? I get he’s the Second in Command, but this is all new to the last few months. I’m getting sick and tired of ya ruining all o’ my carefully laid plans.”

Soundwave blinked behind his visor, stiffening and stepping back into the monitors behind him as Jazz stalked forward. The spymaster realized this was his chance. That it might be his only chance to let Jazz know what was going on.

“Prowl: unfaithful to Jazz. Soundwave: attempting to expose Prowl’s cheating.”

Jazz froze, a strange look crossing his face. “And how exactly is Prowl cheating on me?” 

Soundwave shifted, showing off part of the monitor. On the screen, First Aid had climbed up onto Prowl’s berth and was currently cuddling the Tactician. “Prowl: is seeing First Aid.”

A grin split Jazz’s face and he walked closer, ignoring Soundwave as the mech stepped out of his way. The smaller mech leaned in close and then cooed when First Aid nuzzled Prowl’s face. 

“Well, it looks like even with all o’ your meddlin’ my plan still worked.” Jazz turned around, pressing into Soundwave’s space. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you staring at me all the time, or constantly watching me. I’ll let you in on a little secret so you stop meddling and hurting Prowl. Prowl is my Amica, we’ve been Amica for a very long time. We aren’t lovers, we aren’t dating. There is no way for him to cheat on me, especially if I’m the one trying to set him up with a bot he thinks is cute. Prowl’s hopeless sometimes and needs a little assistance.”

Soundwave was thinking of how he could respond when Jazz’s servo shot out, snagging his collar fairing and dragging him down to the smaller mech’s level. Jazz planted a kiss on Soundwave’s mask before shoving the taller mech away. Soundwave was in no one prepared for that and fell back on his aft with a loud crash. He was left staring at Jazz’s aft as the mech sprinted out, laughing the whole way. 

Ravage found Soundwave hours later in the same spot with a dazed look on his face. She sighed, turned around, and walked straight out. She wasn’t dealing with this right now.