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twilight nsfw headcanons

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  • thanks to you, Edward operates on Christian teenager logic
  • whereas long as his thingy doesn't go in your thingy and you do it everything is okay
  • HOWEVER, God never said anything about the good old bump and grind
  • just imagine Edward on the bottom, death gripping a pillow over his face so he can't scream or accidentally pulverize your pelvis
  • or him on top with your legs around his waist and he's just moaning into your mouth and ur trying to kiss him but he's Gone bro
  • has eaten your pussy Once In A Moment Of Weakness while taking a sexy shower together
  • but is forever scarred by the bruised handprints he left on the back of your thighs while losing his concentration in the w a r m t h and taste 😎
  • that and ur legs gave out and you almost cracked your head on the tile but that is neither here nor there
  • never been said before but I'm saying it now Edward Cullen is a boob man
  • no matter the size will just bury his head in your tits like rubs his face in them and between them
  • just smelling you and listening to your heartbeat minimal sucking bc his teeth are crazy, but those long flat licks 😩😩MAN
  • Edward is less likely to actually penetrate you with his fingers
  • but he figured out how to kind of make them vibrate with his Quickman Speed which is SICK
  • absolutely abuses ur clit w this knowledge
  • the first time he made you squirt was totally an accident and lowkey tries to make you do it more than he should because hes a FIEND kind of the reason why he doesn't finger you often
  • bc every time he's like I need to touch it 👁👄👁👉 but I musn't to dehydrate my gf
  • a little obsessed with watching you cum, loves to listen to your brain scramble while you lose yourself
  • doesn't let you touch him that often bc he operates on the logic that 1 he will immediately snap and eat u in a not sexy way(okay a little sexy)
  • and 2 ummm he clearly has inferiority issues w his s/o even though that's total bs
  • service top kinda??? is that what they do
  • lots of mutual masturbation but it usually ends up with Edward having a staring contest with your CERVIX and praising you to high heaven because u can't see anything when he's KNEELING ON THE FLOOR COME ON MAN
  • not the praise ur probably used to baby girl is not in his vocabulary he's on some rambling Mr darcy little women shit combined with whatever trash he’s heard in peoples heads its
  • but nonetheless arousing
  • will call u darling and command you to cum in the same breath
  • you tried to suck him off once and he immediately came in your mouth
  • he was so embarrassed he wouldn’t let you try again until he gets his stamina up
  • which dude fuck that who cares it was hot
  • we know he definitely has the control to Not murder you upon penetration but that's not happening until he wifes you up
  • however when he does
  • he just goes just a bit too fast? like just toeing the line of superhuman speed, ouch, and oh my god I will never walk again
  • doesn't even realize hes doing it and has overstimulated you a few times not catching it soon enough