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When Dean wakes up he feels warm and he cuddles even more into the sheets around him for a moment. The sun hits him in the face and Dean smiles before he abruptly sits up. In his own apartment the sun can't shine in his face.

“Fuck.” Dean mutters, when he looks down at the pink sheets that surround him. He has no idea where he is, but he is pretty sure, it’s a weekday. His headache isn’t really helping.

There are pictures on the wall, mostly of a red-haired woman. But Dean doesn’t really remember that face. He shrugs, but that is not the first time this happened. He stretches and then looks at the clock next to him.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean rubs over his eyes, but the time stays the same. Already after 6am. Means Dean will be late and his boss will have his ass.

“Where are my clothes?” Dean asks, when he realizes someone is still laying next to him. He even shakes the woman awake now, not really caring about her at the moment.

“In the kitchen or at least I think they should be there. You want coffee?” The girl next to him sits up. She’s really pretty but Dean doesn’t really have time. Otherwise he would’ve maybe fucked her again.

“Thanks but no. I gotta go, already late for work, sorry.” Dean mumbles before he gets up. He’s completely naked, but he doesn’t really mind.

In the kitchen he finds his pants on the ground, his suit jacket and shirt under the table and even his shoes in the sink. He has to look twice to find his socks next to the champagne bottle and sighs.

That’s probably the reason for his headache.

His belt is missing though. Dean groans, but he can’t find it anywhere. Shit, now he has to talk to Annabell? Anne? Anna? again.

“Do you know where my belt is?” Dean asks loudly and he sighs when she doesn’t answer directly. Maybe he should just leave it here and hope his pants don’t fall down.

“It’s in here!”

Dean hastily runs back and sees his belt tied to the headboard of her bed. He has to smile for a second, because now he remembers a bit. She rode him really well and Dean loves giving away some of his control sometimes.

Not that he would admit that to anyone.

He finally gets the belt off and fixes it around his pants. He smiles again and then runs out of the house, before coughing outside. God, he feels like puking.

“I’m getting too old for this.”


*


Castiel gets up slowly. He always wakes up perfectly on time and this morning is no exception. He walks over to the room where he keeps his clothes. Castiel takes one of his finer suits today, because he hopes for a good deal.

His clock beeps and he goes into his big kitchen. He doesn’t need a huge breakfast, but he does enjoy some soy milk at home. He’d get his coffee later in the office anyway. As one of the best publishers he has an assistant for things like that.

“Speaking of him.” Castiel mutters and wanders back to the big table. It feels a bit weird to sit alone here each morning but by now Castiel is used to it and he tries to not let it bother him anymore.

On the table is a manuscript. Dean had almost begged for him to read this and, though Castiel and he are not sharing their taste, he’d said he would look into it.

“Angel’s wings.” Castiel whispers when he sees the first page. That does sound a bit corny, but he doesn’t have anything else to do while waiting to go into work. He relaxes in his seat and starts to read.


*


Dean is dying. His lungs are burning from all the running and his headache only gets worse with each second. But he can’t be late for work!

There is a loud honk and Dean jumps to the side, when somebody curses him from inside a car. Dean tries to smile apologetic, but he is not even sure it looks like a smile and not a grimace. Finally he can see the coffeeshop.

Dean opens the door, almost running into an old lady, who smacks him on his arm. He doesn’t care, but looks out for Jo, who is already grinning at him from behind the counter.

“You’re pretty late today.” Jo says and she points at two coffees that are already waiting for him. For the first time Dean feels himself relax a tiny bit. Jo is just the best, he knows exactly why he gets his coffee here all the time.

“I know. Overslept, you know the deal. But thank you, you’re the best!” Dean says, already taking the cups into his hands after throwing the right amount of money onto the counter. Jo smiles wider.

“If you really think so, then you should use that cup sometimes.” Jo says and points at the coffee cup in Dean’s right hand. Dean winks at her and is already walking back outside without saying anything.

Outside he looks down at the cup and grins. There is Jo’s number written down. She tries that for over a month by now, but Dean never called her. He doesn’t need an affair at the only coffee shop, who fixes the coffee for Dean’s boss this perfectly.

Dean makes it towards his work building and even manages to catch the elevator at the right time. His co-worker Kevin is already in the elevator, looking more asleep than anything else. Dean grins at him.

“How long will he make us come in by 7? I’m exhausted.” Kevin mumbles and presses the button that will take them to the right floor. Dean shrugs awkwardly, the coffee still in his hands.

“It’s not like he talks to me about things like that.” Dean answers. He knows that every single employee of this building hates his boss. And Dean can understand why. Castiel is arrogant, selfish, and cruel.

Dean hates him as well, but he wants to be an editor. Right now he is only the assistant of Castiel and he has to get Castiel to sign each contract he gets ready. Most of the time Castiel doesn’t even read the manuscripts Dean picks out for him.

The elevator stops and Dean takes a deep breath.

“I’m living in a nightmare.” He says, while Kevin snorts. They both walk out the elevator and Dean prays to every god, that Castiel isn’t already there. He doesn’t even want to know what that punishment would be.

He has to get Castiel’s office ready as well. So he hastily puts the coffee down and opens the door. Castiel is not there yet, so he hastily starts his computer. Cleans up the mess on the desk and walks back outside to his own little desk, where he left his coffee.

Just as he goes to turn around, he walks right into someone and one of the cups falls over, spilling the hot coffee all over his chest.

“What the!”

Dean barely registers the pain, because this was Castiel’s coffee and now he is gone. Castiel will have his ass.

“Aw Cher, sorry. I wanted to ask…” Dean looks up to see how embarrassed Benny looks and he doesn’t have time for that now, so he shakes his head. He hastily checks his desk for a new shirt, since he always has some spare shirts here but there is only a new tie.

Damn that cheeseburger last week that got sauce all over him. Dean licks his lips. Worth it though.

“Okay fuck. Benny I need your shirt.” Dean says and he hopes it will fit. Benny is a bit taller and broader than Dean.

“What?”

“I said, give me your shirt, now. Castiel will be here in a second.” Dean growls and with that he is already peeling his wet shirt off. Benny looks still perplexed, but does as he is told. Dean sighs and gets ready again.

Benny grumbles something about having to wear the wet shirt, but Dean doesn’t care about that for now. He and Benny are friends, since he first started here. He’d apologize later.

Just as he fastens the new tie, he sees similar black hair at the glass door in the entrance to their floor. Castiel is obviously on the phone, fake smile on his face. Dean sighs and types a message into the computer.

“The Devil is here.”

Automatically the whole atmosphere in the building changes. Everyone tries to look busy and it quietens down. Perfect.

Dean runs back to Castiel’s office in the corner. Puts his own coffee on the table, so Castiel could drink that one, gets himself paper and a pen and stands at the door. He’s ready. Not even one second too late, because Castiel already opens the door.

Dean takes a deep breath.


*


Castiel ends the call, as he opens the door to his office. He almost smiles when he sees Dean already standing there, paper and pen in his hands.

“Good morning, Castiel.” Dean says and even though Castiel had never allowed him the use of his first name, he kinda likes it. That doesn’t mean he will tell Dean that, soon enough he’ll have anyone calling him by his first name and lose all his respect.

“You have a meeting in thirty minutes, an important phone call conference at two and I got a dozen calls from your immigration lawyer, he really wants you to call him back.” Dean says and Castiel sits down at his big desk.

Castiel’s eyes fall on the coffee and he takes a huge sip, so he would finally wake up for good. As he sets the cup back down he realizes something.

“So who’s this Jo?” Castiel asks and he can’t help but feel something in his chest squeezes tightly. He coughs slightly and the feeling is gone a second later.

“Uhm… well I don’t know.” Dean says and Castiel rolls his eyes. Dean looks down to his feet, there is a blush creeping up on his cheeks and Castiel smirks.

“Really.” Castiel says, leaning back and enjoying this more than he should. It doesn’t happen very often, but he loves to make Dean squirm. It feels incredibly good and Castiel sometimes… he shakes his head.

“I dropped your coffee and gave you mine instead.” Dean admits finally and Castiel nods. He had already seen that Lafitte was wearing a wet shirt, when he had entered and while Dean looks good today, the shirt he wears? Two sizes too big.

“And somehow you drink your coffee exactly like I do? With a bit of soy milk and honey?” Castiel wants to know because his coffee tasted like everyday. Dean nods again, not wanting to say more.

Castiel smiles. Dean is always so… so obedient, even drinking the same coffee as Castiel just so he could give it to his boss, when something happened to Castiel’s own coffee. Castiel knows Dean is good. At his job and probably everything.

That’s probably why Dean is still his assistant. Castiel just can’t let him go. He’d… miss him. Castiel shakes his head, what is it with those confusing thoughts today.

“Cancel the phone call and tell them I will attend the meeting later. We have more important things to do.” Castiel says and he sees how Dean hastily writes that down.

“Alright. What kind of important things?” Dean asks and he sounds so hopeful. Maybe he thinks Castiel would agree to publishing the manuscript he read this morning.

“I got Bobby to do publicity.” Castiel says and smirks. Bobby is one of their best writers, but he never does publicity for them. Castiel and he are what you could call ‘old friends’, so Castiel thinks this is a pretty good day.

“Really! Good job.” Deans says, an easy smile on his lips. Castiel snorts.

“When I want your praise, I'll ask for it.” Castiel says and he can see how Dean blushes again, worse this time. Even the tips of his ears grow red. Castiel can’t help his smirk, even if he wanted to.

“Yes sir.”

Castiel shudders, hoping Dean didn’t see that, but he seems focused on the list in his hands. Castiel stretches a bit.

“Say, is Zachariah in today?” Castiel wants to know, already getting up from his seat. Taking a sip of his coffee again. Dean looks confused for a moment, but nods.

“Yeah, saw him earlier. Do you want to call him?”

“Good and no, I think we should visit him.” Castiel says and Dean nods again. He puts his papers and pen down, before Castiel stops him.

“And Dean? I don't care what or who you do in your free time or in how many beds you wake up, but when you walk through that door you represent me, and I want to see you at your best. If you want to get the promotion from me and become an editor, then I need you focused and professional. You understand?” Castiel says and he finishes his coffee.

He even throws the cup away, just so Dean wouldn’t dare to get back and write the number down. Castiel hates it when his secretary gets distracted… and nothing more.

“Yes, sir.” Dean says again, still embarrassed, but he leaves the office. Castiel sighs when he sees outside his glass wall how people hastily get back to working after Dean wrote them all another message.

He always does that, Castiel had read the messages before. Dean is very creative with all the bad names he calls Castiel in them. Castiel rubs over his chest. Yeah he knows exactly how bad Dean hates him.

It wasn’t as bad when they first met and Castiel had even tried to… to be friendly to Dean, maybe ask him out, but Dean had always just talked about all his one night stands and Castiel… isn’t made for that.

“Okay. When we get in there, you will not say a word. I do the talking.” Castiel says, when he leaves his office and walks over to Zachariah’s. Oh he had waited so long for this moment.

“Hello Zachariah.” Castiel says and he hopes it comes out as friendly as he wanted to.

Zachariah doesn’t smile back and Castiel can see that Dean almost hides in the corner. Castiel takes a step closer.

“Oh our Angel of Thursday.” Zachariah starts to smile and it looks slimy now. Castiel ignores his sentence altogether.

“I’m letting you go Zachariah.”

Castiel hears Dean’s sharp inhale. Zachariah has been working for this company for more than twenty years. Too bad, everyone has to go some time and with Zachariah he wants him to be gone sooner than later.

“What?”

“You heard me. I told you I wanted Bobby to do publicity for us, but you said, he didn’t agree with you.” Castiel says and now he sits down on one of the old armchairs. Zachariah is still standing and still they both know Castiel is the one who looks down on him.

“I called him and he said he didn’t want to do it.” Zachariah says and it’s too bad that Castiel knows the truth and also sees a bad liar, when he’s in front of him.

“Wrong. See, I really called him and he told me he never received a phone call from you.” Castiel says while he looks around. He hates to let people go actually, but not if they are as lazy as Zachariah.

“You can’t do this.”

“Oh I can. So let’s see. I’ll give you two months before you got all your boxes packed and so you can find a new job. I will tell everyone you quit and nobody has to know.” Castiel says, because he hates drama and he knows the employees would hate him even more.

He wishes they’d realize he isn’t that asshole everyone makes him out to be. He’s just …. eager in his workplace.

Dean opens the door and Castiel gets up to follow him out. They leave Zachariah standing there with an open mouth. Castiel saw Dean’s short smile.

“Okay what is he doing?” Castiel asks, while they walk back to his own corner office. Dean turns a bit around, while Castiel doesn’t look back.

“Fuck he’s coming.” Dean mumbles and Castiel rolls his eyes. Some people don’t know when to stop. He hears the door behind them.

“You arrogant slut! You think you can throw me out of this company?!”

Castiel takes a deep breath and turns around. He is aware that everyone is now looking at them. He tries not to look too hurt when Zachariah calls him slut.

“What are you doing? I gave you a nice and quiet way out. Why are you ruining this?” Castiel asks, his voice still lowered.

“You are just scared, because you know I’m better than you! You are worth nothing and everyone here including your sweet little secretary hates you!” Zachariah yells through the whole office.

Castiel stays calm. He has to.

“Okay listen to me now. You are in no way any competition against me, because you are lazy, unpunctual, and never listen. So I will tell you what to do now and maybe this time you will actually listen. You will turn around now and leave. Maybe you get stupidly drunk in a bar, I don’t care. But you will not say another word, or I will ask Dean to call our security on you and they’ll kick your ass out of this building for everyone to see.” Castiel smiles at the end and with that turns around.

Dean hastily follows him and he hears Zachariah leaving a moment later. One less problem.

“What a mess. Seems like we need to work on a schedule for Bobby alone and see what Zachariah’s writers need.” Castiel says, when he sits down. He doesn’t feel so happy anymore.

“Oh okay. I’ll just… cancel my weekend trip then.” Dean says and Castiel is a bit surprised at that.

“I gave you a whole weekend off?” Castiel asks and he can’t even remember the last time he got himself a day off. Dean nods and Castiel isn’t sure if he is even sad.

“Yeah it’s my Granny’s ninetieth birthday. But I’ll just call her.” Dean says and with that he is already out of the door, closing it softly. Castiel looks after him.

Sometimes Dean talks about his family but it’s not very often. To hear him say ‘Granny’ is actually kind of cute. Castiel sighs, he doesn’t have a family anymore. And… not even his employee’s like him.

Sometimes he wonders if his parents would be disappointed in him. He wipes over his eyes. Zachariah was right, nobody likes him, but… at least he was good at his job.


*


“No Granny I know. I’m really sorry.” Dean looks up from his phone when he sees that Castiel is leaving his office, but he is relieved when Castiel just walks to the elevators. Oh right, he’s got a meeting with Chuck and Metatron right now.

Dean really feels bad that he can’t go see his Grandmother, but at the same time he is kinda relieved, that he doesn’t have to see his Dad. Last time was already bad enough. Dean sighs.

“You know that I can’t quit Granny. But I will call you okay? Love you, bye.” Dean says when he knows he can’t ignore her begging anymore. He feels like the worst. His phone rings again and for a moment Dean thinks it’s his grandmother again.

Instead it’s a call for Castiel and apparently it’s important.

Dean rolls his eyes and makes his way up to Chuck’s office as well. He knows Chuck likes him well enough, he’s not sure Metatron likes him. Both own this company since it was founded.

Dean knocks and opens the door.

“Hey, really sorry for just barging in. Castiel? There was a Mr. Turner calling about the case with Mr. Singer and I told him you are engaged right now but…” Dean stops when Castiel looks at him as if he’s a ghost.

Chuck smiles. Metatron looks at his papers. Dean looks behind him, then back to Castiel.

“Come here.” Castiel whispers and Dean actually walks into the room. He stands next to Castiel not really sure why. Castiel looks nervous and that never means anything good. Dean hopes his own face isn’t a mess.

Castiel then looks back to Chuck and Metatron.

“Well Gentleman… I understand the problem or the situation we’re in but I think… there is something you should know.” Castiel says and with that he takes Dean’s hand in his own. Dean looks down at their hands.

What is happening?

“We’re getting married.” Castiel announces, his voice slightly shaking. Dean nods his head and then shakes it.

“Who’s getting married?” Dean whispers, because he thinks he hit his head somewhere and hears words nobody is really saying. Castiel squeezes his hand.

“Dean and I are getting married.”

Dean feels as if someone just slapped him with something over the head. This can’t be real, what is Castiel even saying?

“You are marrying your male secretary?” Metatron asks and he laughs loudly. Dean growls.

“Assistant.” Dean answers, but Castiel hushes him.

“Well you know how it is. I’m surely not the only one who fell in love with his secretary, am I right Metatron?” Castiel says, smile so fake. Metatron looks away at that, but Dean sees Chuck smiling.

Is this all a joke?

“Anyway. We’re really happy, so… this is good right? No need to send me out of the country, if my Baby here marries me.” Castiel says and he squeezes Dean’s hand one more time, before awkwardly kissing his cheek.

Dean puts his hand over the spot Castiel just kissed and he still feels a bit… bamboozled.

“Happy.” Dean mutters and there is a warm feeling in his chest.

Back then when he was still new in the company he had… he had thought maybe he could have a chance with Castiel. He knew he liked guys and girls since college, but never tried anything with a man before.

Castiel seems like he was the jackpot. He looked so hot standing there in his perfect suit. Eyes so blue, Dean wanted to drown in them. Big hands, friendly smile and the hair! But then he had started talking…

They may be assistant and editor for the last few years but they always seem to fight and never get along.

There was one time where Dean had actually thought Castiel had asked him out, but when Dean had come to the office there had only been more work for him that night. Since then he strictly tries his best to stick to his one night stands and… only with girls.

Easier.

“That is great, but Castiel? Make it official.” Chuck says and he wiggles his ring finger. Dean swallows loudly at that, but Castiel laughs.

“Yeah we… we will do that. So anyway gentleman, we will let you get back to your work. We should go to the immigration office and… yeah we’ll do that right now.” Castiel says and then he is already pushing Dean out of the door.

Outside Dean needs to take a deep breath, before he actually follows Castiel to his office. On his way he can see how people are pointing at them and laughing. Even Benny snickers.

Dean growls.

Castiel seems surprised when Dean follows him into his office.

“So care to explain why I would want to marry you?” Dean says and he can’t help but frown even harder. Castiel seems so unbothered and that bothers even more. Castiel smiles way too insecure.

“Relax, I had to do it.” Castiel says and without any further explanation he continues to type on his computer. Dean takes a deep breath, so he wouldn’t throw something at his boss.

“Care to elaborate?” Dean hisses and Castiel raises his eyebrows.

“Well they wanted to give Zachariah my place and that after I just threw him out.” Castiel continues. While Dean hates Zachariah even more than Castiel, that isn’t exactly a good reason why Dean would want to marry him.

“Castiel. What does that have to do with anything?” Dean asks and Castiel sighs, as if Dean is too stupid to follow along.

“They want to send me back to Russia, can you imagine? Only because I went to that bookshare in Germany when they were testing my new visa. So I will marry you and will be american. Problem solved.” Castiel says and the idiot actually seems to believe that.

Dean smacks his own forehead in frustration.

“Oh sure that makes perfect sense.” Dean says and he hopes Castiel will choke on his sarcasm. This time Castiel actually stops typing and leans back. He looks in deep thoughts.

“What? Are you actually waiting for someone special to marry?” Castiel asks and Dean looks down to his shoes, feeling this annoying blush again.

“Actually yeah.” Dean admits. He had always hoped for that special someone that he could let his parents meet, that he would cherish and… Dean shakes his head. He shouldn’t daydream about that now.

“Besides it’s illegal!” Dean says and Castiel huffs a laugh.

“They are looking for terrorists, not book publishers.” Castiel says and he starts to write something on a paper, already working again. Dean feels speechless and embarrassed.

“I will not marry you.”

“Of course you will.”

Dean glares harder. He hates it, when Castiel gets like this. He always seems to know everything better and pretends Dean is just an idiot.

“Why should I do that?” Dean wants to know and Castiel sighs.

“Look, when I go? Zachariah will throw you out especially after what happened today. So you will be out in the streets with no job, starting again where you did when you came here. All those long nights you worked for me, all that coffee you got - it would be all for nothing. So what do you say?” Castiel smirks.

Dean says nothing.

The phone rings at his own desk.

“And could you please take that call?” Castiel says and that’s the end of it.

Dean feels… numb.


*


Castiel sighs. Of course the immigration office is completely full. There are people everywhere and super long lines. He can see that Dean gets more nervous with every step.

“Follow me.”

Castiel walks at the side of all the lines and then stands in front of the counter, ignoring all the people who waited behind him. If he has learned anything in the last years, it’s that you have to own a place if you want something.

“Cas!”

Castiel barely registers that Dean had called him by a nickname of some sort. He looks at the guy behind the counter and goes for a light smile.

“Hello! Would you please sign this for me?” Castiel asks and the guy takes the paper Castiel had given him. He reads it over and then tells them to follow him to a small office. Castiel sighs again, but does so without an argument.

He hopes this doesn’t take too long.

“Castiel I don’t think this is a good idea…” Dean says for at least the tenth time in the last two hours. He really seems afraid, because there is that blush on his cheeks again. And he keeps rubbing his hand over his thighs. At least he is sitting down. Castiel remains standing.

“Let me take care of this.” Castiel says and he gets his phone out. He surely has to move a few meetings now and he doesn’t think he can trust Dean to do that right now.

It takes another ten minutes until the door opens again.

“Mr. Winchester and Mr. Krushnic?” The guy says and Dean hastily gets up to shake his hand. He seems a little surprised at Castiel’s last name, because he is registered as Castiel Novak in the company.

“Dean.” Dean offers and Castiel almost rolls his eyes. Dean is always so friendly.

“Ah then you must be Castiel. I’m Arthur Ketch.” Arthur says and then he offers Castiel a seat as well. Castiel sits down but he doesn’t like it, because that probably means this will take longer.

“We’re so happy that you took your time to see us today.” Castiel says while Dean looks everywhere but towards Arthur.

“Okay.” Arthur says and sits down behind his desk. To Castiel’s surprise he seems to have a full folder of him. He starts reading over it quickly and then smiles.

“So let me ask you one question. Are you two only getting married so Castiel can stay in this country, because let me tell you, that would be a criminal act and I’m very good at discovering those.” Arthur says, leaning back and grinning almost.

“No, why would you think that?” Castiel asks and he thinks he almost knows why.

“I had a very interesting call today from a certain…”

“Oh, would that be Zachariah Adler?” Castiel talks over Arthurs words. Arthur stops and smiles that mean smile again.

“Zachariah Adler, yes indeed.”

“I’m really sorry for that, I had him fired today, so I can only imagine he would do that to somehow get his revenge.” Castiel explains. Dean is still saying nothing and Castiel thinks for a second to take his hand again.

“Fine. Then let me explain to you the process of the next steps. Step one is really easy. It’s an interview, where I put you both in different rooms and ask you every question a real pair could answer.” Arthur continues and this time Dean seems to relax a bit.

Castiel is sure that Dean knows almost everything about him anyway.

“Step two is a bit harder. I’ll dig deeper. I will ask all your friends and family about your relationship, check your neighbors. If just one answer doesn’t match up, Castiel, you will be sent back to cold russia.” Arthur seems to like that he has so much power.

Castiel just smirks.

“And you young man, you would have broken the law. Which means you will have to pay us two hundred and fifty thousand and you will also go to prison for the next five years. How does that sound?” Arthur continues.

Dean starts to jiggle his left leg.

“So Dean, do you want to talk to me about something?” Arthur even winks at Dean and Castiel rolls his eyes this time.

Sadly Dean really seems to feel worse with each minute. He opens and closes his mouth a few times.

“The… the truth is that Castiel and I… “ Dean stops himself there again and this time Castiel can’t help it. He needs Dean to lie now. So he takes Dean’s hand in his own and squeezes. He won’t admit how good that feels though.

Dean swallows again.

“Castiel and I weren’t supposed to fall in love. We couldn’t tell anyone we work with, because of my big promotion.” Dean says and Castiel stares at him. For a moment they just look at each other and Castiel remembers that once he had thought Dean had the prettiest eyes on earth.

Then he registers what Dean said. Promotion?

“Promotion?” Arthur asks just as Castiel wants.

“Yeah. We thought it would be highly inappropriate to tell everyone we are dating, when Castiel here wants me to be his new editor.” Dean says and Castiel has to smile at that. So Dean can be really sly, hm?

“Okay but you surely told your family about your marriage plans?” Arthur asks and this is an easy question for Castiel.

“We didn’t tell my parents because they’re dead for more than ten years by now and I don’t have any siblings.” Castiel explains not even sounding sorry. His father was an asshole and his mother left the second after he was born.

“Oh and your parents are dead too, hm?” Arthur asks, now sounding annoyed by them.

Dean shakes his head.

“No uhm… they’re good. I also have a little brother. Sammy. Eh Sam.” Dean says and Castiel didn’t even know he had a brother. Dean had never talked about him before. Castiel hopes Arthur can’t read his face.

“Yeah and we thought we would tell them this weekend. You know Granny’s ninetieth birthday is this weekend and we thought why not surprise everyone there. I’m sure it will be a lot of fun.” Castiel says, almost kicking Dean in the shin when he stares at him.

“And where is that?” Arthur asks and Castiel looks over to Dean, because he really has no idea where Dean is from.

“Sitka. Alaska.” Dean says and Castiel squeezes his hand harder, because why the fuck did he never mention that. Of course it’s fucking Alaska.

“Yeah that is where my Baby is from.” Castiel says and he leans over to Dean. Pressing another kiss to his cheek. Dean smiles a bit shyly at that and Castiel is surprised when he sees that Dean touches his cheek again.

Weird. He doesn’t seem used to affection. Even though he has those dozens of one night stands all the time.

“Okay I’ll see where this is going. I want you here in my office at 11am monday morning, understood?” Arthur says and he even writes it down for them.

Castiel lets go of Dean’s hand.


*


Dean feels kinda empty when he leaves the immigration office.

“Okay I tell you how we do this. We fly to Alaska, tell your parents we’re boyfriends and get engaged. Sounds easy enough. Of course as soon as this is over we will split again. No worries.” Castiel says and he is already typing on his phone again.

Dean stays quiet.

“Oh and yeah okay I can let you fly first class with me. But remember to get the miles, we can use those for the company. And order us the vegan meals, would you? We all know how bad the meat tastes up there. Dean? Why aren’t you taking notes?” Castiel stops and Dean almost punches him.

“I’m sorry did you not hear what Arthur told us? I could face prison!” Dean says and why the fuck is Castiel still so calm.

“Yeah?”

“Are you kidding me man? You seriously see no problem here?” Dean asks and he is so angry. He has no idea how, but Castiel always makes him so angry in such a short time.

“Well what I heard was that you wanted me to make you an editor and I’m pretty sure that was a joke too.” Castiel says and Dean shakes his head. This guy is unbelievable. And he should marry him?!

“No. You make me an editor or I’m out.” Dean says and he is already turning around. Pff let Castiel find out how cold Russia really was at this time.

“Okay wait! Yes, fine I’ll make you an editor. If you fly to Alaska with me and marry me, fine.” Castiel says and Dean feels a bit relieved. Okay it’s just one weekend where he has to pretend.

But he would finally be an editor! He had dreamed so long about this.

“Good and right after not in a few years. And that manuscript I gave you, you will publish it. twenty-thousand copies.” For the first time Dean feels like he is the boss in this relationship and he has to smirk at that.

Castiel nods again.

“Now ask me.”

“Ask you what?”

Dean rolls his eyes.

“Ask me nicely if I want to marry you.” Dean says and he can see how surprised Castiel looks at that. His blue eyes are even bigger than normally. Dean grins, but it’s a bit wobbly now.

“What do you mean?” Castiel asks and he squints. Dean chuckles, because Castiel does that every time he doesn’t get something. He even tips his head to one side.

“I mean, go on your knee and ask me.” Dean repeats. They are still standing in a busy street of New York so there are people everywhere. Dean sees how Castiel looks around, for the first time looking nervous as well.

Too bad.

Castiel sighs and then slowly goes down to one knee. He grumbles a bit about his expensive suit, but Dean ignores that. Castiel looks good like this.

“Does this work for you?” Castiel asks, pointing at himself and Dean smirks again.

“Oh it works perfectly for me.” Castiel’s face is close to his crotch and if Dean is honest, he kinda wishes this would be real. That Castiel would really want to marry him, meet his family. That… that some day he’d go down to his knees to do other things to Dean.

“Good, so will you marry me?” Castiel asks and Dean shakes his head.

“Ask nicely.”

Castiel closes his eyes for a second. Seeming to calm himself down, when he opens his eyes again, he looks so earnest, so… sweet.

“Dean Michael Winchester, will you marry me? With chocolate sauce and frosting on top?” Castiel asks and he holds out his hand. Dean wishes he would have a ring for him. Then he realizes his own thoughts and looks down.

“Yes I want to marry you.” Dean whispers and then they stare at each other again. Dean licks over his lips and a car honks loudly, breaking this weird moment.

Dean hastily waves and then turns around.

“See you tomorrow at the airport!”


*


Castiel sits down on his seat and sighs. He can’t believe he has to fly to Alaska, but he hopes he can at least spend the long flight sleeping or even working on a few projects. Dean sits down next to him, looking weirdly scared again.

“Relax Ketch won’t be on this plane spying on us.” Castiel says and he opens his laptop. Dean shakes his head.

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” Dean says before pulling out some papers and headphones. Castiel frowns, he had thought Dean would work on the flight as well.

“Is it about the questions for monday?” Castiel asks and Dean thinks about that for a moment before he nods. He holds out some of the papers for Castiel who takes them a bit surprised.

“So I feel like I know all those answers about you, but I’m pretty sure you know nothing about me.” Dean says and Castiel snorts at that. He is sure he knows a few things about Dean, even if most of them aren’t nice.

“Hah, let’s test that. So, oh this is a good one. What am I allergic to?” Castiel wants to know and Dean huffs as if it’s the easiest question ever.

“Strawberries and you hate that. I always see you watching closely when people eat them, but you never dare to eat them yourself. Pretty sure you’re also allergic to sweat, tears and lies.” Dean says and Castiel nods. Dean is right.

He does ignore the last points though, glaring at Dean instead.

“Hm. Do I have any scars?”

“Well what I do know is that you have a tattoo. Not sure where though.” Dean says and Castiel is surprised at that one. He… he doesn’t tell people about his tattoo. It’s weird that Dean knows.

“Yeah how come?” Castiel tries to sound uninterested.

“Two years ago your dermatologist called and said you had an appointment to remove a tattoo, but you never showed up. For the test though I need to know where it is.” Dean says, but Castiel is already shaking his head.

“Absolutely not.”

Just then the plane starts and Dean goes quiet next to him. Castiel can see that he has his eyes closed, biting on his bottom lip. For a few seconds Castiel can’t look away. Dean looks just so…

So absolutely stunning. He’s sitting at the window and the sun is just going up, turning Dean’s profil into one of hundred colours. Castiel can’t help staring, each freckle invites him in and then Dean whimpers quietly, breaking the moment in process.

“Are you scared of flying?” Castiel asks and Dean opens one eye.

“Fuck you.” Dean growls and Castiel smiles.

“Huh uh. The big scary Dean is scared of planes. That is actually fucking brilliant.” Castiel says and Dean slaps him against the shoulder.

“This is so not funny. I hate it okay? My job and your stupid schedule isn’t the only reason why I never visit my parents, alright?” Dean growls and just then the plane is finally in the air.

“Hmm. You do know there are like pills for that, right?” Castiel asks and Dean nods shortly. He holds out a bottle and shakes it.

“Make me sleepy though.” Dean admits but he is blushing again. In all those years Castiel had never seen Dean shy so many times in a row than the last two days. It’s weird, but Castiel kind of likes it.

“Well it’s a long flight. You do seem to know everything about me, so sleep.” Castiel says and opens his own papers. Ugh, there is so much he doesn’t know about Dean. A few questions seem simple enough though.

Dean swallows his pills hastily after that and seems to listen to some music through his headphones. Castiel doesn’t even mind that he is humming to his music. If anything it makes him calm down as well.

Twenty minutes later Dean’s eyes keep dropping while Castiel tries to read what Dean wrote on the papers. Apparently Dean has a few tattoos himself. He loves pie “to die for”, was in a wrestling team in high school and he loves flowers.

Castiel smiles at that one. He’d never picked Dean for someone who likes flowers. The next question is about their biggest dreams. Of course Dean wrote down that he would love to be an editor. The next sentence make Castiel’s heart stutter.

Fall in love and be loved back.

Castiel looks back to Dean who has his eyes closed by now. His mouth is a bit open, but he is not really snoring. Castiel smiles softly. Maybe he had thought many wrong things about Dean Winchester.

He hadn’t known that Dean is real soft on the inside, if he wants to be. That is actually kinda cute.

“Cas.” Dean mumbles now and then his head drops. Castiel doesn’t mind that when Dean cuddles actually closer. Pressing against his side and sleeping with his head on Castiel’s shoulder.

His hands are clenched and he still seems to be afraid, even while sleeping. Castiel carefully takes one of his hands in his own one and squeezes.

“It’s okay Dean, I’m here.” Castiel mumbles back and for the first time since he had this idea of marrying Dean, he feels like this is not going to work. Dean deserves someone better, someone who would treat him right.

Castiel wishes he could be the one, but he had played his cards wrong a long time ago.

He does need to marry Dean though, but he hopes they can get a divorce pretty soon, so Dean can find his true love and be happy.

Right now though he really likes this. Castiel continues to read his questions about Dean, while holding his hand for the next hours. His heart is heavy and still so full of love.


*


They land a few hours later and when Dean wakes up, all adorable and sleepy, Castiel had already let go of his hand, learned what he needed about Dean from the papers, and helped Dean to lay against the window.

Doesn’t want him to freak out.

“Okay here we go.” Dean mumbles when they’re getting out of the plane. Castiel can see how he grins widely and when he looks out of the windows he can see why.

There are two women waving happily already and the older one holds up an adorable sign with Dean’s name and a few hearts on it. Dean’s face is getting really red again and Castiel already feels better.

“Hey Mom and Nanny.” Dean says, cuddling his mother first. She looks nicely as far as Castiel can tell, but Dean’s grandmother is sure adorable. She’s a lot smaller than him but hugs him super tight.

“Hey Pumpkin.” Dean’s grandmother says and Dean smiles so softly again.

“Uh where’s Dad?” Dean asks and he turns around. Castiel doesn’t really know what to do, he seems a bit lost.

“You know your father, he is…. well always working.” Dean’s mother says and Dean nods now. Suddenly seeming so disappointed and sad. Castiel’s fingers itch to stroke through Dean’s hair.

“And where is your girlfriend?”

Castiel’s eyes go wide when he hears that. He had thought Dean had told his mother and grandmother. Dean rubs with his hand over his neck.

“It’s… mom it’s my boyfriend Castiel.” Dean mutters and then points at Castiel, who awkwardly shrugs at that.

“Hello, Mrs. Winchester.” Castiel says, not sure what he should say. Dean’s mother just smiles softly.

“Oh dear call me Mary, hm? And this is my mother Deanna. Dean was named after her.” Mary explains and Castiel just has to smile at that. He shakes Mary’s hand and then Deanna is already hugging him as tight as she can.

“Welcome to the family hun.” Deanna says and Castiel can’t remember the last time he heard words like that. He can’t even remember his last hug and so he stands there like an idiot, more awkward than anything.

“Dean told us you’re basically the devil.” Deanna says then and she’s laughing. Dean hisses quietly and the good feeling leaves Castiel again. He… hadn’t known Dean was speaking so badly about him even to his family.

But maybe he deserves this.

“She’s joking.” Mary offers, but Castiel nods shortly.

“Thank you so much for having me this weekend.” Castiel says and Deanna smiles so happily again. Castiel is sad that he never had a grandma.

Dean finally turns away and they walk over to a car. Castiel is glad when he and Dean sit down. He hopes the ride isn’t too long, but as soon as they drive through the city, he sees the name ‘Winchester’ everywhere.

“Uh, Dean you… you never told me you basically own this town?” Castiel asks and he hopes it’s quiet enough. Deanna laughs loudly though.

“Oh that is our Dean. He was probably just being modest.” Deanna says and Castiel watches Dean squirm a bit on his seat. He had always thought Dean was this bold and loud asshole, but apparently…

“It’s mostly the work of my father and brother.” Dean mumbles and then it stays quiet for the rest of the ride.

Soon enough they stop at a little port and Castiel follows the other out of the car. He is a bit confused to be honest, because he has seen a lot of Hotels, but here there’s not a single one. Only boats.

“Uhm shouldn’t we slowly check into our hotel?” Castiel asks, but again Mary and Deanna are already directly behind him.

“Oh we canceled our reservation. Family stays at our house of course.” Mary says this time, and Castiel feels nervous. He would have to sleep at their house? That means he would need to pretend to date Dean all the time.

“So we’re gonna use our boat, you’ll see.” Deanna says and Castiel gasps at nothing. On a boat?! He never signed up for this.

“And here is your suitcase Honey.” Dean says and he gives Castiel the big suitcase he brought with him. He wasn’t really sure how many suits he needed, so he packed a lot more. Dean only has a small bag he notices.

“Oh why don’t you help him?” Deanna asks and Dean smirks at Castiel.

“Well I would but he hates it so much when I help him.” Dean says and puts an arm around his grandmother. Castiel growls. He was right before, Dean Winchester actually is an asshole.

“Dean!” Castiel tries to whisper when he sees that boat. It’s not really small but it certainly doesn’t look safe to Castiel.

“What?”

“I’m not getting on that boat.” Castiel whispers back, even though Dean is talking way too loudly. Castiel hopes he doesn’t hear how much his voice shakes.

“Okay see you at the airport then.” Dean says and Castiel takes a deep breath to calm down. He is really scared and Dean makes fun of him.

“I can’t swim. You know that.” Castiel says and now he feels his own blush creeping up his face. He… he had never learned it and soon enough he was way too scared to even try. He doesn’t want to drown.

“Hence the boat.” Dean says and climbs the down ladder towards the boat. Castiel growls and then starts to climb the ladder down himself. He has no idea how the grandmother did it, because this is already too much for him.

As he is halfway down he hears Dean chuckle.

“Let me help you a bit.” Dean says and for a moment Castiel feels relieved that Dean actually wants to help him, but then Dean is only grabbing his ass. Castiel growls.

“Take your hand off my ass.” He hisses and Dean laughs only harder. At least he does stop grabbing his ass and takes a step away. Castiel is sweating when he’s standing next to the boat.

Dean jumps on it and Castiel can see that Mary is already standing at the wheel. Dean holds his hand out and Castiel lets himself be pulled on the boat. He doesn’t feel good. He’s shaking badly.

“Here hun.” Deanna holds out a lifesaving vest and Castiel blushes even worse. He takes it anyway and puts it down. Dean’s smile looks a bit evil again, but Castiel ignores it and sits down.

The boat starts slowly and Castiel tries to focus on his own breathing. Not even listening to the conversation of Mary and Deanna.

“Hey, uhm sorry.” Dean says then and sits down next to Castiel. He does look a bit guilty, but Castiel ignores him anyway.

Dean sighs quietly but then pulls an arm around him. Castiel almost makes an embarrassing sound at that, but he can stop it in the last minute. Dean smiles so cutely again and then presses even closer.

“I promise you, you won’t fall and drown.” Dean says and when Castiel closes his eyes and feels Dean’s heartbeat even through his trench coat, he believes it.

 


*


Dean chuckles, when he sees how big Castiel’s eyes are, as they stop the boat in front of their huge house.

“You never told me you were rich.” Castiel whispers and Dean shakes his head. He gets up and feels a bit cold without Castiel in his arms. He ignores the feeling and soon enough he can breath again.

“I’m not. My parents are.” Dean answers and then as he walks down the dock, he sees a lot of people on their front porch and outside the house in the garden.

“Uh, Mom, what is this?” Dean asks, already feeling his heart beat a lot faster.

“Nothing we just wanted to welcome you with a little… get-together.” Mary says and Dean knows exactly that this will end with a huge party. It even looks like the whole neighborhood would be here.

“Yeah everyone is excited to meet you Castiel.” Deanna says and Dean can see that Castiel clearly isn’t excited to meet anyone. Great. Just what Dean needed on top of this stupid weekend and the stupid wedding.

They barely get the chance to change and Dean sighs, when he sees Castiel in just another expensive suit. It seems like he doesn’t have different clothes. Dean wears just jeans and a shirt.

Come on, he’s home. He wouldn’t wear any fancy stuff here.

“Oh it’s so nice to meet you.” Castiel says for the tenth time in the last fifteen minutes and Dean feels like his head may explode. He hopes this is over soon. There are so many people around them.

“I have no idea how we will pull this off.” Castiel says when they have a quiet minute for themselves. Dean frowns.

“What do you mean? I can play the devoted fiance. I’m sure you have a lot more problems with that.” Dean says and Castiel rolls his eyes. Dean just holds his hand out and then pulls Castiel towards him.

Dean takes a deep breath and then relaxes. He just has to break his walls in and soon enough he knows he looks a lot more happy in Castiel’s arm. Because he actually likes… he… likes? Well. He does like Castiel.

When he’s not such an asshole at work.

“I’m so glad to have you here with me.” Dean whispers, Castiel doesn’t have to know how true the words are. His family is always a bit crazy and Dean is not eager to meet his Dad. So yeah… he is a bit glad.

“Dean.” Castiel says and his voice is so deep. They stare at each other again and Dean leans in a bit closer. If he could just kiss him maybe then his brain would finally let go of him.

Pining for your asshole boss for three years isn’t exactly easy or nice.

“When will you tell your parents about your engagement.” Castiel says and with that the moment is broken. Castiel even takes a step back.

“I’m waiting for the right moment.” Dean grumbles back.

“Oh Dean hey!” Dean turns around and sees their neighbors Alicia and Max. He likes the twins a lot and Castiel seems relaxed as well around them.

“I always wanted to know what an editor does exactly.” Max asks and Castiel seems ready to answer that. Dean is glad he doesn’t like to talk about work a lot.

“Yeah I would be very interested in that answer too, because my son left the family for that kind of job.”

Dean literally cringes alone at that voice, before he even registers the words. Max and Alicia hastily turn away and pretend to be busy with the food behind them on the table. Dean smiles tightly.

“Hello Dad.”

“Son.”

Dean wishes he could run away. Castiel seems a bit unsure himself now and Dean almost takes his hand again. Instead his father holds out his and Dean shakes it.

“And you must be Cassie.” John says and Dean rolls his eyes. Castiel coughs slightly.

“Castiel.”

Dean almost snickers at that. What a damn burn. His father doesn’t really seem to care, he just shakes Castiel’s hand as well.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. So really I want to know what an editor does, Castiel. Because my son isn’t one. He’s only your assistant, nothing more.” John continues talking ever louder now.

Dean wishes after all those years, words like that wouldn’t hurt him anymore. Sadly each time it’s like a stab to his heart. Even worse now that Castiel has to hear that. He probably thinks of Dean in a similar way.

“Dad.” Dean says but John grins wider.

“Well I think I will get a refill on that.” John says, because he never really cared about Castiel’s answer anyway. He just wanted to embarrass Dean, hurt him. Because he loves to do that after Dean left.

Ignored the Family business and went his own way.

“Charming.” Castiel whispers and Dean just shakes his head. Already running after his Dad, without even knowing what he wants to say.

“Dad what the hell!” Dean growls as soon as they are both a bit away from Castiel. He really doesn’t want his fiancé to hear about that. Uh.. his boss. Not fiancé. Fake fiancé, yes that sounds about right.

“You ask me that? You haven't visited us for years and now you’re coming back with the boss you complain so much about. What is wrong with you?” John growls and Dean takes a few steps back. Sometimes he’s scared of his father.

“Really, we can’t even be in the same room for a few minutes before we’re already fighting maybe that’s why I left.” Dean says and John laughs so fake.

“Why would you bring your boss with you? Do you really have to let your stupid boss fuck you to get a better job? You can’t do anything on your own, hm?” John says and he seems to have fun hurting Dean.

Dean swallows a couple of times.

“You listen to me now. Castiel is one of the best editors I know, but he is also one of the best humans out there. He’s generous and really a wonderful person. And you know what? Yes I enjoy it when he fucks me.” Dean says and John seems so surprised for a moment.

His mouth is wide open and Dean hopes he doesn’t see his blush. With another nod he turns around and walks away from his father, so he wouldn’t punch him. Or get punched.

“Oh and you know what! Castiel and I are getting married!” Dean yells so loudly that everyone in the room can hear it. A few people gasp and Dean sees how scared Castiel looks for a second. “What?” John growls, but Dean goes back to Castiel. Where he belongs.

Castiel looks extremely surprised to hear that and it’s pretty understandable because Dean had said only minutes before he would wait for the right moment. Like always his father gets the worst of him.

Dean holds his hand out and Castiel takes it without any hesitation.

“Oh congratulations!” Mary says and then she is already hugging them both. Dean can’t help but smile widely, when even more people come closer to them to congratulate them. Castiel is smiling as well.

“Thank you. We’re really happy.” Dean says and he isn’t lying, when Castiel pulls him closer, putting an arm around him. Dean puts his own hand over Castiel’s heart. He can’t believe how good it feels to be held like that.

Just as most of the people turn back to their own conversations, Dean sees someone coming towards him.

“Dean!”

For a moment time seems to stop around him. Holy shit.

“Lisa!”

“Oh my god Dean. It’s been such a long time.” Lisa says and then she is hugging him. It feels just like it always had and Dean can’t help but press against her. Something still feels very wrong but he isn’t sure what.

Castiel coughs slightly.

“We’re being extremely rude.” Lisa says and Dean breaks the hug. Castiel doesn’t look too happy and Dean feels a tiny bit bad.

“Oh yeah. Uhm Cas, this is Lisa my… ex girlfriend.” Dean finishes lamely and he can see how Castiel squints at that. He even raises one eyebrow and checks out Lisa for a second. Dean’s face grows hot.

“Hello.” Is all Castiel offers.

“It’s so nice to meet you and congratulations.” Lisa says and Dean feels Castiel’s hand again. This time clearly on his ass. Dean gasps quietly but doesn’t make a scene, he even leans a bit back.

“Oh thank you.” Castiel says and it sounds so fake, that Dean wants to kick him. Castiel instead uses his free hand to stroke over Dean’s cheek. Dean can’t help but lean into that touch as well.

It feels so good, when Castiel is so careful with him.

“Dean makes me so happy.” Castiel says and Dean nods a bit. He really wishes this would be the truth. He would love to make Castiel happy. To bring out of him a real smile.

“So did I miss the story?” Lisa asks, clearly ignoring Castiel now, because she is looking at Dean again, who lays his head to one side.

“Pardon? Story?”

“About how you proposed?” Lisa asks and Dean groans inwardly. He can hear his mother and grandmother cheering behind him. Fuck, they hadn’t even thought about that.

“How a man proposes says a lot about his character.” Deanna says and Dean coughs slightly. Dammit he has really no idea what he should say. That they just had a cute dinner?

“I proposed.” Castiel says and he squeezes Dean’s ass for two seconds before walking into the middle of the room. Most people are sitting by now and Dean hastily joins Castiel before he ruins Dean’s image completely.

“You did?” Mary asks and Castiel nods.

“So it was our first anniversary and I knew Dean had been waiting for me to ask him the question. I saw him look at wedding locations and everything on his computer. He tried to hide it like porn.” Castiel says and Dean hears the first people laughing.

The blush creeps back up his face.

John looks incredibly angry.

“That is… not true. I even had to drop a lot of hints, so you would finally ask me.” Dean says, but somehow that doesn’t make the story better. Castiel smiles and claps Dean’s cheek, like you do to a child.

“Aw it’s okay. I knew you were scared. So I bought the biggest bouquet of flowers I could find, because I know how much my Baby loves flowers.” Castiel says and Dean looks down at the ground for a moment.

He really loves flowers, not that he told anyone before.

Then he hears a few guys laugh and Dean swallows, before growling at Castiel. That fucker only did it to embarrass Dean.

“I thought he was sleeping with someone else and that was just his lame apology.” Dean says and his mother looks so hurt on his behalf. Dean can barely hide his smirk when Castiel glares.

“Instead I went down on one knee and asked him. Dean was crying immediately and I knew why I fell in love with this cute man.” Castiel says and Dean would never admit it, but if the love of his life would ask him to marry him?

He’d probably cry.

“Castiel wasn’t much better.” Dean mumbles but everyone else is already chattering again, about how cute he is. Castiel smirks and pulls Dean closer again. Dean lets him this time.

“You are so sensitive.” Deanna says and Dean shrugs. He knows he had just disappointed his father again. He is glad that John isn’t making a scene that Castiel is a man. Though he knows John hates that as well.

“Now let’s see a kiss!”

Dean turns around and glares at Max, who winks at him. That asshole. Castiel takes a deep breath and then laughs.

“Ah it’s okay, my Baby is really shy with affection no matter how touch starved he is.” Castiel says and Dean is sure this torture would never end.

So instead he turns a bit, looking into Castiel’s blue eyes and licks over his lips. He had known beforehand that they would probably need to kiss and to be honest, he wants it. Castiel seems surprised.

“Kiss me.” Dean mumbles, but all Castiel does is lean closer and press the world’s shortest peck to Dean’s lips.

Dean whines quietly. This is not what he wanted.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

This time Dean closes his eyes and he gasps quietly, when Castiel’s lips press against his own. So slowly, so gently, as if Dean is something really special. Dean lays his head to his left and then it feels even better.

Castiel kisses him like he means it and Dean forgets about his need to breathe. Instead he puts his arms around Castiel’s neck, pulling him even closer. Castiel’s own hand finds Dean’s hip and…

it feels like everything Dean had ever wanted.

“Okay boys get a room!” Deanna yells laughing and Dean breaks the kiss. He can’t help but open his eyes slowly, looking into Castiel’s bright blue eyes. Castiel smiles a bit, his lips so red from their kissing.

It’s a good look on him.

Dean feels like he is on fire.


*


Castiel is exhausted. This small get together turned out to be a party late into the night. The sun is still up, but he really needs to sleep.

“So this is your bedroom.” Mary says and opens a big door. Castiel gets into the room first, he is pretty sure that Dean knows the room anyway. It looks really beautiful and it’s kinda big, but then again Dean’s family seems really rich.

“Oh it’s wonderful.” Castiel says and he walks over to the big window. From there he can see the lake and he smiles a bit. For some reason he could imagine waking up more often with this view.

Maybe in someone's arms.

“And here is the bed.” Deanna says and she actually winks at Castiel. Seems like Dean gets most of his characteristics from his grandmother.

“Oh yeah… so uh where’s Dean’s room?” Castiel asks and he sees that Dean is standing in the corner, bright red again. The more often Castiel sees that look, the more he has to admit to himself, how much he likes that.

“Sweetie, we don’t have that old fashioned fantasy that you two aren’t sleeping in one bed at home.” Mary says and she chuckles a bit. Dean hastily looks away and Castiel isn’t really sure what he should answer to that.

“Oh great, that is… great because we do love to cuddle, am I right Dean?” Castiel says then and he has to grin at his own answer. Mary and Deanna seem to awe over them, while Dean coughs slightly.

“Yeah I feel…. I feel safe in his arms.” Dean says and his mother strokes over his shoulder. Something pulls in Castiel’s chest.

Just then the door opens again and Castiel sees a very tall man, with his arms around a woman and a toddler in her arms.

“Dean.”

Castiel isn’t sure who that could be, but he guesses that it’s Dean’s brother. Dean immediately walks over to them, already holding his arms up and hugs the man as tight as he can.

“Sam. Sammy.” Dean mumbles and then he grins so widely. Castiel almost imagines there are tears in his eyes. He’d never seen him like this before.

“You missed a lot since the last time you were here.” Sam says quietly, but he doesn’t even sound angry. Dean nods and then stops the hug. Castiel looks over to Mary and Deanna who slowly leave the room.

“I know. I’m sorry. Hi Eileen.” Dean says and Castiel sees that Dean is actually signing and saying the words towards the woman. She is smiling and then kisses Dean’s cheek, before Dean looks at the toddler.

“And...and that is…” Dean stutters out.

“That’s Jack.” Sam whispers and Dean wipes over his face. Eileen smiles when she gives the toddler into Dean’s arms. Dean is smiling so widely and this time Castiel can clearly see how the tears fall down Dean’s face.

“Hi Jack!” Dean whispers, while the toddler grins up at him. He looks really adorable. Castiel’s heart aches for something like that. He never had any siblings, but he wishes one day… he would have a huge family.

“Oh Sam. I’m not the only one who missed something. This is Castiel, my fiancé.” Dean says and Sam looks so surprised.

“Really. Oh my god, Dean congratulations.” Sam says, before he hugs Dean again, squishing Jack between them. Dean smiles so wide and Castiel is sure that it’s an even better view than the lake.

“Hi, I’m Sam, Dean’s little brother. It’s so nice to meet you.” Sam says and he walks over to Castiel. He shakes his hand and Castiel has to say that he seems really nice. Eileen walks over as well and Castiel is glad he can sign a bit as well.

“Thank you both. I’m glad to finally meet Dean’s family.” Castiel says and they both smile so warmly at him. Dean is still playing quietly with Jack.

“I’m so glad you finally listened to your heart Dean. It doesn’t matter what Dad thinks, you know that right? We just want you to be happy.” Sam says when he walks back to Dean. Castiel isn’t sure what that means, but Dean seems relieved.

“I know, thank you Sammy.”

Jack looks over to him and Castiel waves a tiny bit. He doesn’t have much experience with kids, but Jack giggles adorably.

“Okay. We can talk more tomorrow, I’m sure you want to sleep. Come here baby.” Eileen says and she kisses the small boy, before taking him back to her own arms. Dean looks almost lost when he isn’t holding Jack anymore.

“Okay goodnight.” Dean says and Castiel wishes them both a good night as well. After they left it’s quiet in the room. Dean seems really emotional, but Castiel isn’t sure how he could help.

There is a knock again and Deanna smiles at them.

“Dean, darling. I forgot something. Take this blanket, will you?” Deanna says and he holds up a huge but thick blanket. It looks really old.

“Thank you Granny.” Dean says, while he takes the blanket and Castiel has to say he likes how Dean has sweet pet names for his whole family.

“It’s called the baby maker and it works. I mean I know neither of you can get pregnant, but I’m here for you if you ever want to adopt.” Deanna says and Dean lets the blanket fall to the ground.

Castiel laughs at his face. Deanna winks at them one more time and then she’s gone. Dean closes the door.

“Sorry uh my family is… a lot.” Dean says, clearly embarrassed. Castiel isn’t sure if he’s embarrassed about his own behaviour or really his family. But he shouldn’t be about either one.

“No they’re… they’re really lovely.” Castiel says and for the first time in a long time, he feels sad that he never had this. He never met his grandparents. His mother left, his father died and before that he was just an asshole.

“Yeah… uhm I will get ready in the bathroom and then you can have your turn.” Dean says and he takes his small bag with him. Thank god at least they have their own bathroom to themselves.

Castiel sits down on the bed and smiles. He feels out of his place here, way out of his comfort zone, but at the same time it feels like he… he came back home. A home he never even knew.

He groans. Shit.

He had thought that he was over Dean, but this just makes it all worse. The bathroom door opens soon enough. Dean now wears a huge shirt and flannel pajama pants. He looks really adorable, even his hair sticks up in every direction now.

“Your turn.” Dean says and Castiel takes his own bag.

“Won’t take long.” Castiel says, but Dean’s voice stops him, as he wants to open the bathroom door.

“Uh and don’t worry about the bed. I’ll sleep on the ground, no problem. Did that a lot when Sammy and I were little and he had nightm- I mean yeah. Don’t worry.” Dean babbles and he’s so nervous again.

“Okay.” Castiel says softly, because it’s okay when Dean doesn’t want to share a bed with him. Castiel wouldn’t know what to do anyway, if they had shared a bed. The kiss is still in the back of his head.

It had felt so good.

Castiel really doesn’t take long and when he opens the door, Dean is already on the ground. He does have a pillow and a few blankets at least. Even the ‘Babymaker’.

“Don’t you dare look.” Castiel says, even though he is covered in a shirt and boxer shorts. Dean only snorts and Castiel runs over to the bed.

Without saying anything Dean closes the blinds with the remote.

“Goodnight.” Castiel whispers, before he turns on his side and closes his eyes.

“Yeah you… too.” Dean mumbles and Castiel feels bad that he is sleeping on the ground. But then he is already asleep. Too exhausted from the day.


*


Dean wakes up slowly. For a moment he doesn’t even remember where he is. Then it all comes crashing back.

“Cas?” Dean says and then sits up. The bed is already made but Castiel isn’t there. Dean sighs and then makes his way to the bathroom. He dresses quickly and washes up. He has no idea where Castiel could even be.

Downstairs people are laughing and Dean finds his brother and Eileen downstairs in the kitchen.

“Hey do you have any idea where…” Dean asks but then he sees Castiel. He’s sitting on their porch at a small table Jack on his lap and he is laughing loudly at something Jack babbled. Dean is a bit stunned.

“Yeah we weren’t sure he liked kids, he was so distanced yesterday, but turns out he really loves Jack.” Sam says and he is grinning as well. Dean’s heart swells at that sight.

“You should tell your boy to get ready. We have a nice day planned for him.” Deanna says then and Dean is sure he doesn’t even want to know what she is talking about. Poor Castiel.

And after saying hello to the rest of his family, minus his dad who isn’t at the breakfast table, he goes outside.

“Dean!” Castiel is still grinning outside and Jack points at some of the ducks near the lake.

“Having fun?” Dean asks and he has to chuckle as well. Jack smiles up at Dean, waving towards his uncle. So far he had only seen Jack on pictures and videos, it’s amazing to finally be with him.

He knows why he left back then, but that doesn’t mean he knows he seriously misses some things like this.

“Jack broke my phone just as I was on a call with Bobby.” Castiel says and he points to the glass of orange juice where his phone is drowning. Dean’s eyes widen because normally by now Castiel would be super angry.

“Eh we can surely buy a new one in town, same number and all.” Dean tries to assure him, already getting back into his role as assistant, but Castiel just relaxes back into the chair.

“Oh good.” And then he goes right back to tickling Jack. Dean is a bit shocked at that behaviour, but he has to say he really likes this.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Jack needs his bottle.” Eileen says and Dean hadn’t even seen her coming towards them. Jack holds his arms out for his mom and they both leave for the kitchen.

Castiel sighs happily.

“So uh my mom and grandma want to kidnap you. Said they have a long day planned for you.” Dean says and Castiel’s smile vanishes. Dean snickers a bit and then points to the window where Mary and Deanna are waving at them.

Dean waves back.

“But I don’t wanna go.” Castiel says and it almost sounds like a whine. He gets up and walks towards the railing of their porch. Dean only sees now that Castiel is wearing his favorite robe.

It… it looks pretty good on him.

“I’m afraid you have no choice.” Dean says and he gets up as well. He knows exactly that everyone inside the house is watching them, but he is pretty sure even without them he would love to be close to Castiel.

“You know how much I hate people.” Castiel says and Dean chuckles. That at least is true, but he still wiggles against Castiel until he gets the hint and pulls Dean into his arms.

“They are looking at us, so maybe we shouldn’t fight.” Dean says and Castiel nods slowly. He feels how Castiel strokes his back and slowly wanders more down.

“I think this is only fair, hm? You remember yesterday?” Castiel says and then he grabs Dean’s ass. Dean growls, but actually in the right moment he could really enjoy this. Dean looks up and pouts.

“Fine, but maybe give me a kiss too.”

Dean is glad that Castiel doesn’t call him out on his behaviour, because really there is no need to kiss. Castiel does it anyway and he tastes sweet from his tea and the orange juice. Dean easily opens his mouth for him, giving everything he has to Castiel.

“So sweet.” Castiel whispers against his lips and he even bites slowly into Dean’s lower lip, before turning away.

“Okay think I’ll get ready then. See you later, Baby.” Castiel says and Dean nods a bit stunned. How does Castiel manage to get under his skin so easily?

“I’ll make sure he’ll be fine.” Eileen says and Dean grins. He hopes Castiel does have a bit fun with his family. He can see that Sam is busy with Jack and he decides to look around for his father, when his Mom says he should do that in the spare time.

Of course he finds him golfing. He had built that stupid little island a long time ago and would spend hours trying to get a ball from their little beach part to that island in the hole.

“Hello Dad. Mom told me to find you.” Dean says shortly. He wants to show his Dad that he is not exactly happy with him.

“Yeah I was not exactly the best host yesterday and I wanted to apologize for that. I think I was just surprised you… will marry a man and then your boss even.” John says and Dean sighs loudly.

Of course.

“I think I owe you an apology.” John continues and Dean huffs. That is a nice thought, but it doesn’t really make Dean feel better.

“Dad, do you know why I ran away all those years ago? I left because of you. I was… I was happy with my life here and sure I liked Lisa, but… you know that I was in love with Aaron and you didn’t care. You told me I had to leave him. So instead I left you.” Dean says and he sits down on a trunk that is behind him.

“Dean I…” John starts.

“No Dad. Now you will listen to me. I know you can’t understand it, but I don’t really care. This is my life and I’m pretty happy with myself. I like women but I also like men and Castiel… he’s the one. I don’t care that he is my boss.” Dean says and he feels a bit better after saying it.

He’d always been his father’s good little soldier. But when his father had yelled at Aaron and he wouldn’t even look at Dean anymore, that was when he had left. And never looked back, no matter how much it hurt.

John always wanted him to take over the stupid family business and marry Lisa. But Dean wanted to live his own life. It had been his dream to be an editor since he was a kid. He wanted to promote books. Decide which books should be put out to the world.

“I always thought you would take over our company. You know that you have responsibility here and Lisa is a good girl!” John says and ah there it is. He’s getting angry again. Dean can feel himself turning more angry with each word.

“Ah, but it’s okay that Sammy never wanted the company. Right.” Dean says and John growls.

“Your brother is a lawyer, the best in town. He’s got a family Dean, I’d say he did pretty good. I only seem to have one loser in my family. So stop playing around and take over the company. I bet Lisa would even take you back and she’s already got a son, so you could have a family too. You can never have that with your weird boss.” John says and he is yelling the last part.

Dean takes a few steps back.

“You know what Dad. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not the son you wanted but even more I’m sorry for you. You have such a limited mind. I’m happy, do you even get that? I love Castiel! So leave us alone. And you know what? Apology not accepted!” Dean yells back before he walks back to the house.

Fuck. He knows exactly why he left.

He doesn’t even see Castiel standing on the small balcony of their room.


*


Castiel is sure that he never in his life felt so much out of place. They’re in a small bar surrounded by dozens of women. Castiel is the only man.

“Oh dear, don’t be scared. I’m sure you will love this.” Deanna says and Castiel wishes his boyf- Dean would be here. He is sure he would already feel a lot better with Dean at his side.

Just then a huge light over the stage goes on and Castiel prays to god that this isn’t a karaoke bar. Castiel hates to embarrass himself in front of people. And he doesn’t want to do it in front of his new family.

“I hope you’re ready!” Someone says and then a guy comes out to the stage. Castiel goes white and then bright red, when he sees that he is only wearing some panties and a bowtie. Nothing else.

“Oh.” Castiel mumbles and shit. He wants to leave now.

“He’s the best stripper in the whole town!” Eileen says and Castiel chuckles. It’s kind of cute how excited they all are and Castiel’s eyes go wide when he sees Deanna is already putting money into the guy’s underwear.

Sure the guy dances good and Castiel spends the next twenty minutes watching him, because it seems polite. In the end it does nothing to him.

It’s a bit embarrassing though that Castiel is sure it would do a lot to him, if it was Dean on stage there in those panties. And that thought really makes him smile.

Just then Mary waves the guy over and Castiel is being pushed on stage. He hadn’t known that he could be even more uncomfortable. He sits down on the chair on stage and this guy really dances basically on top of him.

Castiel is practically dying from embarrassment, while all the women around them cheer at them. Just as the guy wants to sit down on Castiel’s lap, he gets up and thanks him. People are clapping and Castiel smiles a bit tight.

He doesn’t go back to the girls, but instead makes his way outside.

Outside he takes a deep breath. This was all a bit much and there would only ever be one man allowed in his lap and that’s… Dean. Fuck. Castiel shakes his head at himself. This whole pretending thing is getting too much.

But he had heard Dean and his father earlier. Sure maybe Dean had only acted like the loving fiancé but Castiel’s heart had beat faster anyway.

He also feels sad for Dean, because his father seemed like a real asshole. Castiel wishes he could help Dean, make him really happy. Just like he deserves. He had been wrong about him. Dean really is a sweet soul.

“Hey.”

Castiel turns around to see Lisa.

“Sorry, it was just a bit much.” Castiel admits and Lisa nods. She stands close to him and they both watch out to the huge lake. This is just as awkward as inside, Castiel thinks sadly.

“Very different from New York, huh?” Lisa asks and Castiel nods.

“Yeah it’s not as loud. But I do like it here. Have you ever been to New York?” Castiel wants to know and Lisa thinks about that for a moment.

“No never. I always wanted to stay in this town. I like it here, it’s one of the reasons why it never worked out between me and Dean.” Lisa admits and Castiel really hopes she is over him and would not try to get between them.

“Yeah? I heard… he never talked much about his home, I didn’t dare to ask. I know his family is lovely and he’s happy here, but something is missing.” Castiel says and Lisa turns to him.

“Yeah. You know back when we dated, I asked him to marry me. He said no. So just you know. you’re really lucky to have him. Dean is just the best.” Lisa says and she is already walking away.

Castiel frowns. This doesn’t seem like normal behavior, to meet up with your ex boyfriend's new boyfriend, but in the end he doesn’t care. Dean had told his father that he didn’t like Lisa like that.

And apparently she has a kid now. Maybe she also has a husband.

Soon enough the rest of the family comes out of the bar and they drive back. Castiel hopes he can calm down a bit now. This was such a weird day. He just wants to get back to Dean and maybe try to get a few more kisses.

They already see Dean when they walk down the dock. He’s chopping wood and while that normally would be a pretty hot sight. Dean looks incredibly angry.

“Oh, Castiel, come with us. This is maybe not a good time.” Deanna says and takes Castiel’s hand.

Castiel tries to get Dean’s attention, but Dean is really angry and even seems to pretend that he doesn’t hear him.

Inside Sam, Eileen, and Jack are nowhere to be found and Deanna is going to the kitchen. But Castiel can hear how Mary and John are fighting in the living room.

“We will lose our oldest son, just because you are a homophobic asshole! You know how much I love both of my sons. Dean is happy with Castiel, why can’t you see that?” Mary says loudly and Castiel’s heart grows heavy.

“He’ll be fine.” John gruffs back.

“Maybe you will be fine. But Dean will not. He will marry Castiel and I can’t wait to have a son-in-law and maybe if we’re lucky, another grandchild. So either you man up or you will leave!” Mary is yelling now and Castiel hastily goes back upstairs.

In their room it’s hot and Castiel sighs. Maybe a shower would be a good idea. He throws his dirty clothes next to the bed and walks into the bathroom. Luckily the shower is big and the cold water feels good on his skin.

He can also wash off the perfume from the stripdancer.

Castiel takes his time showering and he feels more relaxed after the shower. Just then he realizes there is no towel. There aren’t any on the shelves either. Castiel sighs.

“Okay no problem.” He whispers to himself. Castiel opens the bathroom door and looks around it doesn’t seem like anyone is here. That is his chance to find a towel. Just then something falls down behind him.

He picks his body wash up and turns back around, not even looking where he walks.


*


Dean is so angry at his father. It’s always the same old story.

After he chopped all the stupid wood, he feels relaxed but also really sweaty. Maybe he should take a shower and hope to calm completely down. He’s listening to his favorite track of Metallica and that alone helps a lot.

He wonders when Castiel will be back. Dean goes out to the balcony first, putting his clothes over the railing, not caring that he’s almost naked. He only keeps his panties on. Just as he walks back he notices some clothes on the ground and the next second he’s laying on the ground next to it.

“What?!”

“Oh my god?!”

Castiel is directly on top of him. Completely naked. Dean’s brain is officially dead, because he can clearly feel a not so tiny part of Castiel against his thigh.

Since Dean is not doing anything, Castiel gets up, covering his crotch and somehow his chest at the same time. Dean hastily pulls a blanket off the bed and covers himself up as well.

Even though he is pretty sure Castiel had seen everything. Just like Dean had. Oh my god he had seen his boss naked. And Castiel saw his panties. He is so fucked.

“Look away!” Castiel growls out and Dean hastily looks down. He is for sure blushing bright red again and he doesn’t know what to do. He kind of wants to die from embarrassment.

“Fuck. I saw everything!” Explain yourself!” Castiel growls when he finds the baby maker blanket and covers himself up as well. Dean kinda wishes Castiel liked what he saw, but his boss looks way too angry.

“You will never tell anyone about this!” Castiel says, when Dean is still quiet. He wants to laugh at this situation, but he can’t. There are goosebumps all over his skin. Instead he curls up on the floor, while Castiel sits on the bed.

“I just wanted to shower.” Dean says finally, his heart stopping to beat way too fast.

“And you didn’t hear me or what?” Castiel snaps and Dean hears rustling again. Maybe Castiel is getting ready for bed. Dean waits another few minutes until he can answer.

“I was listening to music and… didn’t you hear me?” Dean asks back but he doesn’t get an answer. He hears how Castiel turns around in the bed and he finally moves again. Hastily going to the bathroom to finally shower.

He takes way longer in the bathroom than normally, but not because he actually had fun in there. Dean is still embarrassed, what if Castiel would make fun of him because of the panties?

Dean had felt thrilled to wear them here at home because he knows his father would be pissed if he knows. But now that a real person actually knows, he feels like dirt.

When he comes out of the bathroom, he’s already wearing a towel, new panties underneath, that he hid in the bathroom. Castiel is still awake, the lamp on the nightstand on, Dean doesn’t know what to say. He hastily grabs a shirt from his bag and pulls it over.

Only when he sits down and has a blanket over his lap, does he throw the towel on the cupboard on the wall, not really caring about it.

“So.” Dean says and somehow that makes it even more awkward. Castiel sighs loudly.

“We will not talk about it. But you and your father, what’s up with that?” Castiel wants to know and Dean curls on his side. He doesn’t want to talk about it, never did it before. Only Sammy knows why they don’t get along.

“The question is not in our binder, so I will not talk about it.” Dean says and hopes Castiel will leave it at that.

“I thought we should get to know everything about us.” Castiel says and Dean shifts a bit. He wishes he would know everything about Castiel, but… not because he has to.

“Oh yeah then let’s talk about your huge tattoo all over your back!” Dean says loudly and Castiel gasps at that. Dean squeezes his eyes shut, he is such an idiot, like always he ruins good things.

“They are… I mean you saw. They’re black wings. I got them when my father died. Not… not because I was sad he left, he hated me. But because for the first time in my life I felt free.” Castiel mumbles and Dean’s heart almost jumps out of his chest.

The wings look incredibly stunning.

“They look very beautiful.” Dean finally says, when he finds his voice again.

“Thank you.”

It’s quiet again, but Dean knows that he can’t sleep now. He wishes he would know what to say. That his father hates him, because he likes guys? That he left because he didn’t want to live his father’s dream?

“I like bees. Sometimes I sit outside and watch them for hours. They’re really fascinating to me and not only because I devour their honey.” Castiel continues quietly. His voice is so incredibly soft.

Dean stays quiet.

“I don’t get a lot of movie references, because I worked a lot after High School, so I never got to watch many. Not that I had any friends to watch them with.”

Dean swallows.

“I enjoy reading books and not in the haha-way but I do enjoy the quiet that comes along with it. Oh and I like peanut-butter sandwiches but I always worry about my diet.”

Castiel opens his heart and Dean wishes he could keep it safe forever.

“I haven’t had sex in nearly five years. I cried in my office after Zachariah yelled at me when we fired him. I know you write little notes to the other employees when I leave my office to warn them. I know that I will never be good enough for someone like you.”

Dean’s heart stops. Castiel becomes silent.

“You… uhm hadn’t sex for five years?”

“That’s all you got from that, huh?” Castiel says and Dean smiles at nothing. Instead he sits up, stroking through his hair.

“No I… I’m just overwhelmed I guess. I’m sorry about the notes.” Dean admits and he really means it. This Castiel… is more than he ever hoped for. He feels guilty about being such an asshole.

“It’s okay I know I’m… difficult at work. Tell me something about yourself.” Castiel says and Dean shrugs awkwardly, before lying back down. He takes a deep breath and thinks about it for a moment.

“I uh… I love pie. Like full on: I can only eat that for the rest of my life. I… I love my Dad’s car, the Chevy Impala that is outside. She’s my Baby but… he took her back after I… left.” Dean stutters his way through those sentences and squirms.

“I like cowboys and I watch Dr. Sexy whenever I can get away with it. I love superheros and I want to have kids and a wonderful husband… who just treats me right.” Dean whispers the last part, but he is sure Castiel heard.

He doesn’t have to know that Dean is thinking about him.

“And apparently I wear panties.” Dean chuckles at himself. Trying to lighten the mood. Castiel chuckles as well.

“Are you still wearing them?” Castiel whispers.

“A new pair yeah.” Dean admits, because maybe he doesn’t have to hide this, even though his boss is lying in his bed a few feet away.

“They looked very beautiful on you.” Castiel says and Dean hums quietly, while he squirms again. Fuck. Castiel liked his panties.

“Thank you.”

“Dean I swear if you are not in this bed in ten seconds, I’ll go mad.”

Dean is surprised at that, but he gets up nevertheless. Castiel sits in the bed, softly smiling and he even holds his hand out. Dean tugs on his panties, now feeling like an idiot again, when Castiel watches him so closely.

“Fuck. I like those even more.” Castiel says and when he pulls on Dean’s hand, Dean finally sits down on the bed. Castiel’s eyes are so dark.

“Uhm…” Dean makes and he can’t help but look down to Castiel’s plush lips. He had dreamed so many times about them.

“Can I kiss you again?” Castiel whispers and Dean is already nodding, before he knows the whole sentence. Castiel’s smile grows wider.

It suits him so well.

“Can it mean something this time?” Castiel continues to ask and Dean gasps quietly. Now he can see that Castiel is already blushing.

“Y-yeah.”

And then Castiel is pulling him closer. He lays back and pulls Dean on top of him. Dean doesn’t have to wait, Castiel is kissing him softly, before Dean can even close his eyes fully.

Something in Dean’s eyes sparkles.

This feels like so much more, maybe because he is touching Castiel everywhere. He carefully puts one hand in Castiel’s hair. Castiel’s own hands are on Dean’s cheek. Holding him so close.

Keeping him grounded.

When Dean needs to breathe, Castiel stops the kiss only to kiss him again a few seconds later. This time more rough and Dean groans against those dirty lips.

“Please.” Dean mumbles, even though he isn’t even sure what he is asking for. Castiel smiles against his mouth.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Dean sits up again and he has to admit he likes the feeling of sitting on Castiel’s lap like that. He smirks a bit when he grinds down against Castiel’s lap and he groans loudly. Dean likes that he seems to have that effect.

“I mean you are the one that didn’t have sex for five years.” Dean says and Castiel actually slaps him against the ass for that. Dean gasps and almost chokes on his spit. Castiel seems very interested in that noise.

“B-but you’re more than enough for me, Cas. You’re… you’re special.” Dean whispers and Castiel easily turns them around, only to kiss Dean again. Dean sighs happily at that, he could get used to it.

Castiel smiles down at him and Dean feels so safe here with him.

Castiel gets up for a second, to get rid of his shirt and pajama pants. He throws them on the ground, hastily getting back on the bed, leaning over Dean.

“You look so beautiful.”

Dean is sure that he will die if Castiel continues to be so wonderful with him. Dean shrugs awkwardly but then shudders a second later, when Castiel leans down and kisses his neck. Yep. Weakness.

“W-want you.” Dean mumbles and hell since when is he so shy during sex? Normally he has no problem telling a girl exactly what and how he likes it. But Castiel isn’t a random thing. Dean wants this to mean something.

“You’ll have me.” Castiel mutters against his skin, his left hand finds Dean’s nipple and Dean almost jumps when Castiel’s mouth covers his other nipple. Castiel sucks hard and even bites a bit down.

“Fuck.” Dean arches his back, he’d never tried this but it feels so good. He can feel Castiel’s smile more then he can feel it.

“Be good for me huh?” Castiel says and fuck. Of course Castiel is still bossy in bed, because he pushes Dean’s hip down. Dean would be embarrassed about the fact that he’s already fully hard, but he can’t bother with that right now.

“Y-yeah.” Dean’s brain practically melts, when Castiel licks his way down and he even licks over the bright red panties. Dean moans again, now glad Castiel had seen them.

“How can someone be this pretty.” Castiel whispers and then he pulls the panties a bit down. Dean’s cock basically springs free, pointing up to his stomach. Castiel actually licks his lips and then takes him in his mouth.

“Oh oh oh.” Dean isn’t sure what he should do, Castiel has just the tip in his mouth, but it feels so good, the panties under his balls adding the right pressure there. Dean can’t think straight anymore, when Castiel strokes him at the same time he sucks his tip.

“Not so bad even after five years, huh?” Castiel says, when he lets go of Dean’s dick. Dean shakes his head, whining because it had felt so damn good.

“Why did you stop?” Dean whines and he strokes through his own hair, making it stick up in every direction.

“Had the feeling you would come too soon.” Castiel says so cheekily and then he is laughing. Dean can’t help but laugh with him, before Castiel leans down and gives another kiss.

This feels so light and just… just good.

“Okay, you ever…?” Castiel asks then and maybe he saw right through Dean, because Dean swallows when Castiel has his hands over his own underwear, ready to pull it down, but he stopped when he looked at Dean.

“Uhm no. I mean, I know that I’m bi basically all my life, but I’ve never… dared to…” Dean stops himself there, looking away. Castiel is having none of it, putting his long fingers under Dean’s chin, kissing him again.

“A virgin huh? And you laugh about my five years.” Castiel snickers and Dean playfully pushes him away.

“I did have sex before!” Dean growls but then he feels himself laughing again. Seems like they are really idiots. But Dean never had sex this… naturally. He’s basically naked and can still laugh with Castiel like this.

“But you’re sure? How do you want it?” Castiel asks when they both calmed down again. Dean licks over his lips.

“W-want you inside me?” Dean whispers, unsure, but only of Castiel’s answer. Castiel smiles and kisses him again. Makes him forget his nervousness.

“Okay but it could hurt, so if it does, you will tell me okay?” Castiel says and gets up from the bed. Dean watches how he goes to one of his suitcases and pulls out lube and condoms. Dean smirks.

“Really, you hoped for something?” Dean asks and Castiel shakes his head. Eyes looking so honest.

“I’d never thought you would want to sleep with me. I got them because I thought I would have my own hotel room and had some time to myself.” Castiel admits and this time Dean holds his hand out.

Castiel takes it and lets himself be pulled back to the bed. Dean had used the time to get out of the panties, laying there fully naked for Castiel.

“Okay take this.” Castiel says and gives Dean a pillow. Dean puts his under his butt - he has seen gay porn alright. He kinda knows the deal. Or he hopes.

Castiel gets out of his underwear as well, his cock hard and flushed red, points up towards his stomach. His cock is bigger and taller than Dean’s own and Dean can’t help but stare.

Castiel smirks when he sees Dean’s face but doesn’t say anything.

“Okay I promise I’ll start slow.” Castiel says, but he strokes himself a few times to maybe take the edge off. Dean watches mesmerized, but lays back down, his butt higher than the rest of his body.

“I’m a bit scared.” Dean whispers, because while he’s good with pain normally, who knows how he will handle this.

“It’s okay, I’ll be here, hm? And if you want to stop, I will immediately. Okay? I promise Baby, I’ll make you feel good. I’ll do anything you want.” Castiel babbles, while he kisses Dean’s stomach again

“I trust you.” Dean says and then he hears how Castiel opens the bottle. He hisses when he feels Castiel’s cold fingers adding lube all over his hole. Great, this will be messy.

Castiel is really careful, when he pushes his first finger inside, it burns a bit anyway and even weirder is the feeling. Dean whines and Castiel takes his free hand to stroke Dean’s cock.

That feels a lot better.

“Gonna be so good for me right? Gonna let me fuck you, right baby?” Castiel whispers over and over again until Dean squirms again, relaxing because of Castiel’s deep voice and the hand on his cock.

Castiel moves his finger slowly and even though it feels worse, it only takes a minute until it feels okay. More than okay. Castiel uses more lube and praises Dean for each finger he takes.

When he can easily pull three fingers in and out of Dean, Dean is already begging for more. This feels so nice and he is close already. Castiel stops jerking him off and Dean’s hips thrust up at the loss of the touch.

“Cas…”

“I know Baby. Just a second. I’m trying to find something.” Castiel says and then Dean arches his whole back, cock jumping as well, when Castiel presses two fingers on the prostate.

“Ahh fuck!”

“Knew you’d like that.” Castiel mutters and does it again. Dean groans loudly, he never felt anything like this before. Just then Castiel pulls his fingers out and Dean thinks that this must be the worst feeling in the world.

“Okay you wanna stay on your stomach or-”

“Yeah I wanna see you.” Dean whispers and Castiel looks so touched at that. Dean’s heart stutters in the process. He hopes they can do that so many more times.

Castiel pulls the condom over his cock and then pours more lube over it. Dean is kinda sad that he didn’t get to touch Castiel so far, so he sits up and strokes Castiel’s cock with him together.

Castiel’s moans are so beautiful.

“Okay I don’t wanna come too soon.” Castiel smiles and Dean lays back again. He’s still nervous but like he said, he really trusts Castiel.

Castiel lays down on him again, kissing him, while his tip rubs over Dean’s hole. He pushes in slowly and Dean gasps into Castiel’s mouth. Fuck okay, the motherfucker feels even bigger than he looks.

“Ouch.” Dean mumbles and Castiel stops.

“I’m sorry.” Castiel mumbles kissing Dean’s left cheekbone. The feeling gets better again and it doesn’t take long until Castiel bottoms out. Dean groans loudly when he feels Castiel’s balls against his ass.

“You’re so big.”

“You’re so tight.”

Dean and Castiel speak both at the same time and they fall into short laughter again. Castiel moves slowly at first, giving Dean all the time he needs. Dean moans so loudly when he hits his prostate again, that Castiel clasps his hand over Dean’s mouth.

“Pshh. We’re still in your parents house.” Castiel whispers and Dean closes his eyes. Nothing about this should turn him on, but Castiel feels just so good inside him. He had never felt anything like this before.

“Please, more. Cas. Need you.” Dean whispers brokenly and Castiel starts to fuck him faster. It feels incredible and Dean is sure that he is already floating. Sure sex was always great, but this feels like more.

Like a promise.

“I got you, sweetheart.” Castiel says and Dean believes him. Would believe anything.

It doesn’t take too long that Dean already feels on the edge and then Castiel takes his cock in his hand again and strokes him at the same time as his thrusts. Dean almost bites his bottom lip bloody.

Castiel kisses him instead.

“I’m so close, Baby. You make me feel so good. I want to see you come Dean. Come only for me.” Castiel whispers and Dean isn’t sure what exactly sets it off, but he comes shortly after Castiel’s words.

Dean gasps loudly and tries to catch his breath as he paints his chest white. Castiel follows him only a few thrusts later and Dean has to say he really likes the sight of Castiel coming. He also likes the feeling, even though because of the condom he did not come directly into him.

“Fuck.” Dean mutters and he hisses when Castiel pulls out. Okay that may be his least favorite part, because that hurt and even worse is feeling so empty now. Dean whimpers.

Castiel leaves their bed and walks to the bathroom. Dean can’t help but tear up. This was so wonderful and so full of love, he…

“Hey, hey I’m here. Dean Baby.” Castiel says and comes back to the bed. He is wearing his underwear again, stroking Dean’s cheek and then pressing kisses all over it. Kissing the embarrassing tears away.

“That was wonderful.” Dean admits, now shy again. His boss had fucked him, but it had felt like so much more. Like just the beginning.

“Yeah I thought so too.” Castiel says and he cleans Dean with a washcloth. Dean sighs happily and he doesn’t even think about getting back to the floor.

Castiel seems to share that thought as well, because he pulls Dean closer. Dean lays his head on Castiel’s chest and puts his hand over Castiel’s heart, feeling the heartbeat. Castiel’s own hands curls around him.

Keeping him safe.

“Sleep well.” Castiel mutters, but Dean is already out like a light.

 


*


Dean wakes up to someone knocking on the door. Very loudly.

“Fuck! Cas wake up.” Dean says and smacks Castiel’s stomach. Castiel snores once and then wakes up, eyes wide. Not really how Dean had wanted to wake up next to Castiel for the first time.

“What?”

“My family!” Dean growls out and he feels like his sixteen again. Dammit. He hastily gets out of bed and puts his shirt on. Since he doesn’t have much time, he also pulls his panties on. Castiel puts on his own shirt, looking way too relaxed.

“Everything okay?” Mary asks from outside and Dean jumps back into the bed. Castiel pulls his arms around him and Dean hisses.

“What the fuck?”

“It’s morning, I can’t help it.” Castiel says but he’s grinning. Dean can’t believe that Castiel is hard again. Then again his own cock jumps at the idea. Dammit.

“Yeah Mom! Come in.” Dean says and he hastily tries to push Castiel’s hair down but like always it’s a mess. Dean chuckles, and then the door opens already.

Fuck. It’s not only his mother and grandmother, it’s his father too. Luckily at least it looks like his brother has some decency.

“Uhm what can we do for you?” Dean asks, cuddling back against Castiel, who growls really quietly, but when he strokes over Dean’s panties under the blanket, Dean goes still.

Mary has a tray in her hand, full with breakfast. Dean can even smell bacon and well okay he likes that surprise.

“Oh wow. Mary you didn’t have to go through so much trouble for us.” Castiel says, but Mary just puts the tray down on Dean’s lap.

“Ah no, you’re family now, Castiel.” Mary says and Dean looks behind him to Castiel, who seems weirdly touched by that sentence. Dean kisses his cheek, trying to make him relax again.

“So we came here because your mother and I had a talk last night and we wanted to ask you if you don’t want…” John starts but Mary pushes him almost away.

“If you want to marry here! Tomorrow.” Mary says and Dean is sure he just had a stroke. Maybe that’s why he’s smelling burnt toast and not because he is still holding their breakfast.

Because what?

“What?” Castiel says and Dean nods.

“Well everyone is together already and so Granny could see you getting married.” Mary says and Dean is already shaking his head.

“Oh no we wouldn’t steal the spotlight from Deanna. It’s her big day tomorrow.” Castiel says and Dean thinks that is a good point, until he looks over to his grandmother.

“I had a lot of birthdays already, I don’t care about them. It would be such a dream come true, if you would marry here! Dean please we don’t know how much longer I’m alive.” Deanna says and Dean swallows nervously. Dammit.

“Yes okay.” Castiel says and Dean is a bit surprised.

“Wonderful we will do anything for you! You can marry here outside at the lake! Sam did that too, remember Dean?” Mary says and Dean gulps.

“Oh yeah…” Dean says and while he has to admit it’s pretty he actually is a bit afraid now. How will he pull this off in front of his family but then again…. he is pretty sure he is already in love with Castiel by now.

So?

“Okay we will leave now, we have so much to do!” Mary says and she takes Deanna outside. John looks a bit angry but leaves as well. Dean takes a deep breath, when they’re alone again.

“W-what if they found out we will only marry so you can stay in the US? My Mom will be so crushed and my granny will die!” Dean says and he doesn’t mean it in the way that he doesn’t like Castiel.

But all of this happened because of a lie. He doesn’t see how hurt Castiel looks.

“Hey it will be all okay.” Castiel says and he hugs Dean closer. Dean feels tears in his eyes again, he wishes they’d met differently. That they are really together for over a year and have real wedding plans.

“Okay. Fuck.” Dean agrees and Castiel kisses him again. That does help a lot actually.

Castiel looks down at their breakfast and sees a note for him. Deanna wants to see him downstairs in twenty minutes for a surprise. He hopes it’s not a stripper again.

“Now eat up, seems like I got plans.” Castiel says and Dean nods. They eat in silence and then dress while the other is in the bathroom.

“It will be okay, Dean. You will not be married to me forever. We will soon be happily divorced and it will all be okay.” Castiel says, when he’s already at the door. Unlike his words, he kisses Dean again.

Dean kisses back, enjoying the feeling.

He only registers the words, when the door closes behind Castiel.

Dean’s heart breaks quietly.

 


*


“Hey.” Sam says, when he sees Dean on the couch in the living room. Dean barely nods, but he brightens a bit up when he sees that Sam is carrying Jack.

“Jackie!” Dean says and takes his nephew.

“You okay?” Sam asks and for the first time in years he actually says the truth and shakes his head. Sam sits down next to him, puppy eyes still working perfectly for him.

“What’s going on? You and Cas had a fight?” Sam asks and Dean’s face crumbles, he can’t help it. He really had thought that he and Castiel finally had something going on. Sam looks startled.

“I… Cas asked me out on a date 3 years ago.” Dean says and he picks up a toy for Jack, who happily takes it. Dean is already in love with his nephew.

“So?”

“I came to his office after work and he turned me down before the date started. A-and I tried to get over it, you know? And I did good until… until a few days ago when Castiel asked me to marry him.” Dean says and he can’t look Sam in the eye.

“What… what do you mean?” Sam sounds so shocked already.

“His visa ends. He needs me and I got the deal out of it that he makes me an editor. But Sam I… I’ve been crushing on him for years and I really tried to hate him but…” Dean stops himself there.

“But you love him.”

Dean nods, feeling so ashamed. Jack struggles in his arms and he sets the boy down. Jack immediately crawls over to the rest of his toys, giggling.

“Fuck, I should’ve said no. But the last days, we really grew closer and we had sex last night, but then Mom wanted us to marry tomorrow and he… he said it would be okay, since we’re divorced soon.” Dean babbles and Sam pulls him closer.

Dean presses his forehead against Sam’s shoulder and cries. Sam hugs him as tight as he can.

“You should talk to him. But I promise I will not say anything.” Sam mumbles, not stopping to hold him.


*


Castiel is surprised when Mary, Deanna and Eileen take him to a small little shop. It looks closed but Deanna has a key. It’s a small tailor shop.

“Okay we have a surprise for you.” Mary says and Castiel nods. Eileen even clasps her hands and Castiel can feel himself smiling too. He really likes this family. They are all so affectionate and he thinks he gets why Dean is like he is.

Dean is affectionate too but touch starved at the same time. Castiel wishes he would be enough for Dean. He knows that Dean had said he would be, but this morning when he had said, that the marriage was only… a pretend one… Castiel never felt more hurt.

He could pick up the pieces of his heart later. Alone.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Deanna says and she holds out a suit that looks fine but also incredibly old. Castiel takes it a bit stunned.

“Go dress.” Eileen says and she sits down on a small couch next to Mary. Castiel nods and then uses the little dressing room. The suit is too big, but he dresses in it anyway. Seems like he would do anything for this family.

“Come out when you’re ready.” Mary says and Castiel opens the curtain. He is sure that he looks like an idiot, but all the women look so happy. Mary is even wiping some tears away, Castiel doesn’t understand.

Shouldn’t they get Dean ready for the wedding and not him?

“Oh you look so good in it! This is the suit of my grandfather you know?” Deanna explains and Castiel feels his cheek go warm. She would give him something so precious?

“I don’t know what to say.” Castiel says and he can feel himself tearing up. The mirror shows him that he really looks ridiculous, but he feels so good. He feels loved, even though at home he has at least ten suits that are worth a lot more.

Hell Castiel probably never wore something this cheap and ugly, but still…

“I’m sorry.” Castiel says, when the first tears fall. This suit is special to Deanna and Mary, he can feel that and that they actually want him to wear it when he marries Dean. Castiel had never felt so much love.

“Oh hun.” Deanna is hugging him and Castiel closes his eyes.

“B-but it doesn’t fit.” Castiel whispers sadly. Deanna pats his cheek and then giggles. Castiel is not sure that he understands.

“That’s why we're here, sweetheart. I’m gonna sew it just right, so hold still.” Deanna says and when Castiel looks to Mary and Eileen they both seem very teary as well.

“Maybe you can… visit us more often when you’re married. Dean never visits us anymore and I know it’s because he and John don’t get along.” Mary says and Castiel swallows dryly.

“Y-yeah I would like that. I will make sure we will visit more often.” Castiel promises and hates himself at the same time. He would love nothing more than to really be a part of this family. But he knows he can’t.

“Sorry I’m just… I’m just happy that Dean found you.” Mary says and she wipes some of her own tears away. That is the moment where Castiel almost says something. He doesn’t want them all to be sad…

When this is over… they will be so mad. And heartbroken. Castiel understands now why Dean was panicking this morning.

“Oh Mary, we don’t have time for that. Hush, go and take Eileen for some tea. I will finish this with Castiel.” Deanna says and Mary even kisses Castiel’s cheek before leaving with Eileen.

Castiel’s heart is so heavy.

Deanna fixes the suit for the next hour. Castiel has no idea how, but she is really good at that. There are needles all over it but she assures him it would be ready for the next day. Castiel smiles wobbly.

“Only one piece is missing.” Deanna says and then she comes back with two rings. They look beautiful and Castiel has no idea what to say.

“Those rings have been in our family for over 100 years.” Deanna says and she puts one of them on Castiel’s finger. It fits perfectly. Deanna smiles.

“Oh I don’t know if I can…”

“Hush. Of course you can. You know back then my grandfather made them with his own hands. Nobody in their small little town believed in their marriage, because they were so different. He was russian and had a really good family. My grandmother was poor and lived on a farm. But… true love always finds a way.” Deanna says slowly and Castiel has to look away.

He never felt more disgusted at himself.

“This means so much Deanna, but I don’t think…” Castiel starts again and Deanna shakes her head. She looks so happy.

“It’s okay. I want you to give the other ring to Dean tomorrow. He knows the rings, I’m sure they mean a lot to him as well. And just, you know Grandmothers love to give their grandchildren old things.” Deanna says and Castiel looks at her.

“And that’s what you are now Castiel. My grandchild. Just like Sam, Eileen and Dean.”


*


Dean is waiting nervously at the dock in their boat for Castiel. He has the feeling they really have to talk about this again, whether Castiel likes it or not.

“Hey!” Dean says softly when Castiel walks towards the boat. Mary had texted him earlier to wait for him here and that the girls got more stuff to do and they should leave without them.

Dean had spent all morning worrying, even when he was playing with Jack. He had thought about Castiel and Jack playing together. How he wanted to have a small family like that.

Castiel huffs when he sees him and gets on the boat. Dean is surprised to see him so angry, but decides not to say anything. Instead he leans over to get the rope, so he could start the boat.

Just then Castiel starts it.

“Woah Hey!” Dean says, when he almost falls into the water. Castiel is driving the boat way too fast and Dean just kinda holds onto it. Castiel seems really upset and Dean isn’t sure what to do.

“What is going on?” Dean asks very loudly, because the boat makes such a loud noise. Castiel groans, shaking his head. He looks so distraught.

“I forgot.” Castiel finally says.

“You forgot what?”

“I forgot how it is to have a family! I’ve been on my own for so long and I forgot how it is to feel loved!” Castiel yells loudly. Dean is so shocked at that outburst he doesn’t even know what to say.

“Cas…”

“And -and a family that wants you home for the holidays and just hugs you. And you have all that here and I ruined that for you.” Castiel says and he strokes through his hair. He looks like a mess.

“It will be okay, Cas. We’ll figure it out.” Dean tries to calm him down but Castiel shakes his head again. Dean is a bit worried about the boat. They are still going pretty fast.

“Do you know that your family loves you?”

“Of course I do!”

“But -but what if I fuck that up? What if your Mom will hate you and your Granny will die. Oh my god I’m killing your Granny!” Castiel says and with that he finally takes a step back from the steering wheel.

Dean hastily tries to take over and just in time because there is a huge red buoy in front of them. He makes a sharp turn and then tries to calm his heart down.

“Cas, we will be fine. I’m sure we can talk about this and figure it out.” Dean says and this time there is no answer. At first Dean thinks that is because Castiel had calmed down and thinks about this.

Instead, when Dean turns around, there is no Castiel.

“Cas!”

Dean sees him a bit away in the water and his blood freezes. Castiel can’t swim. He can’t swim and is in the water.

“D-Dean!”

Dean hastily turns the boat around and he can clearly see how much Castiel struggles. Dean stops the boat a bit away from him and jumps in the water. It’s bloody cold but he doesn’t care.

“I’m here.” Dean says when he’s close enough and holds Castiel , while trying to hold them both up at the same time. He doesn’t want to drown.

Luckily it doesn’t take them long to get back on the boat. Thanks to the tiny ladder Dean had pulled down, while using his last brain cell probably. Castiel is shaking when he sits down in the boat.

Dean isn’t sure if it’s from the cold or the shock.

“Dean!” Castiel says again and Dean sits down next to him, cuddling him close. He had thought for a tiny second that he had lost him. Castiel’s fingers are cold even though Dean is wet himself, but he doesn’t care.

Castiel kisses him like he is still drowning and Dean can’t help but kiss back. He had learned in just a few days, how it feels to fall in love and he never wants to miss this feeling again.

Dean isn’t sure when they finally drive back, but it takes them a long time. He’s the one at the steering wheel, but he holds Castiel’s hand the whole time. Luckily he had some old blankets on the boat to keep them warm.

When they are finally back at their house, John is already waiting for them. Dean has a really bad feeling about it.

“Come with me.” John says and then they walk behind the house. Dean sees his Impala, dusted and dirty standing there, but he doesn’t have time for this.

“Your mother must never know about this.” John says and then opens the door to the barn. Dean’s heart stops when he sees Ketch standing there. It looks surreal with his expensive suit, standing in the dirt.

“I told you I would be everywhere.” Ketch says and he is grinning.

“What did you do?” Dean asks his father, who just shrugs. Castiel is still holding his hand and Dean squeezes it, hoping to calm him down.

“Well I got a call from this gentleman and he told me you would go to prison for faking this relationship. So I’m trying to save your ass, like always.” John says and Dean wants to strangle his father.

“Just because you can’t accept that I’m in love with a man.” Dean growls out and this time John stays quiet. That is enough of an answer for Dean.

“And he made a deal. So this offer stands for exactly 30 seconds. If you tell me the truth now, Dean, you don’t have to go to prison. We just sent Castiel back home. That’s it. So can I have your statement?” Ketch says and he already gets some tiny notebook out.

“I’ll give you a statement! I’m in love with Castiel, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. See you at the wedding.” Dean growls out and then he turns around and leaves. Castiel stumbles behind him.

“Dean maybe…”

“Oh there you two are!” Deanna says when they take a step into the house. Dean almost rolls his eyes at his grandmother, but he knows she only means well. Seems like all the girls came home when they were in the barn.

Eileen is feeding Jack in the kitchen and Dean sees Sam’s asking glance, but he shakes his head at him.

“Dean, Castiel is already ready, but we need to look at how your suit looks.” Mary says and she is already pushing him out of the room. Dean looks back to Castiel, because they really have to talk, but Castiel just smiles softly.

“And you will sleep in the guestroom with me tonight, so you can’t peek at Castiel before the wedding. That’s tradition.” Deanna says and Dean feels like crying.

“And why are you even wet?”


*


When Dean lays on the damn old couch while his grandmother snores in her bed, he feels miserable. The last night feels so far away.

He had loved to fall asleep in Castiel’s arms and he… misses him.

Dean groans at himself. Great one night together and he already can’t sleep without Castiel.


*


Even though the suit fits Castiel perfectly now, he has the feeling it’s strangling him. He hadn’t seen Dean anymore and now the wedding will start in just a few seconds.

“You ready?” Eileen asks and she looks so excited. Castiel feels himself nodding even though he doesn’t want to go. He feels so bad for lying to all of them and his stomach hurts.

They walk outside to the barn, where just yesterday Ketch had seen them. Dean had fought for him and Castiel knows that there are a lot of butterflies in his tummy. He had liked how possessive Dean had been.

Eileen waves to him before she vanishes into the barn. Castiel takes another deep breath and then the door opens. He doesn’t have a father who would walk him towards the altar and he almost tears up when he sees Deanna.

“Come here, son.” Deanna says and holds his arm out. Castiel’s fingers shake but he holds tight onto her. They start to walk into the barn. He is sweating at this point, but he forces himself to take one step after the other.

Castiel can see a lot of people he doesn’t even know. In the last row Ketch grins at him and Castiel hastily looks away.

Then he can see Sam with Eileen next to him and little Jack on his lap. Jack waves cutely at Castiel and he can’t help but smile and wave back. He hopes one day… one day he will be as lucky as Sam is.

Deanna stops then and sits down next to Mary, who already wipes her eyes. Next to him sits John and he looks so angry. Castiel looks hastily away.

And then he sees Dean at the altar. So far he hadn’t dared to look towards him.

Dean looks so good in his suit, but what catches Castiel off guard is that he looks so happy. He’s smiling widely, even though he is clearly nervous. Castiel is sure that he’s actually the one.

And that scares him more than anything.

“You look so beautiful.” Dean whispers and he holds out his hand. Castiel takes it and then they both look at the pastor.

“Everyone please sit down.” The pastor says and Castiel hears how they all sit down behind them. He doesn’t dare to look again. Instead he can’t help but look at Dean again.

They are close together and Castiel almost counts Dean’s freckles. He doesn’t even have the words to express how much he wishes all of this to be real.

“We gathered here today to celebrate the love of two people who found each other to be soulmates. This is one of the greatest moments in their lives that Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak want to share with their family and friends.” The pastor says loudly and Castiel feels worse with each second.

Castiel holds up a finger.

The pastor stops, Castiel can hear how people are whispering behind them now. He imagines how pleased Ketch already looks.

“I have something to say.” Castiel says loudly and he feels like his voice sounds already different. Dean whispers his name, but Castiel turns around and ignores him, no matter how much it hurts.

“Uhm, Hi there. Thank you so much for coming here today. I have a confession to make and I’ll make it quick. I’m Russian with an expired visa who was about to be deported. And because I didn’t want to leave this country I forced Dean to marry me.”

It’s incredibly quiet.

“Dean is a hard worker. For three years I watched him work in my company and he was always good at his job, because he loved it. And I knew that if I would threaten to destroy his career, he would do just about anything.” Castiel continues and his voice breaks.

Deanna looks like she’s about to get a heart attack and Sam’s puppy eyes feel just as bad as Dean had told him.

“So I blackmailed him to come here and lie to you all. I thought it would be easy, but… but it wasn’t.” Castiel tears up again and he sniffles. He is glad that Dean is not saying anything.

Nobody is saying anything. Ketch grins though.

“Turns out it’s not easy to ruin someone’s life when you fall in love with them. Dean is the best man I ever met, he is generous, adorable and so caring. He deserves someone… someone who is just as good.” Castiel says and his voice breaks again.

The first tear falls and he has to get out of here.

“I’m so sorry. Your family is so wonderful, please don’t let this come between you. This is all my fault.” Castiel says and he is already taking a step forward.

“Cas.”

Finally Castiel looks at Dean who seems to be in tears as well. It breaks Castiel’s heart even more and he really hopes Dean wouldn’t have to go to prison.

“Dean, this was a business deal and you did your part. Thank you for everything you ever did for me. I’m sorry. I love you.” Castiel can’t say anything more so he hastily turns around and runs out of the barn.

Nobody stops him.


*


“What were you thinking?” Mary asks when most of the guests are already gone and Dean still sits on a chair in the barn.

“I… I don’t know. I have to go.” Dean whispers, feeling so empty and lost.

Dean runs outside and then back to the house even ignoring Sam and Eileen who want to talk to him. He runs back to their room and finds Castiel’s suit on the bed. The suitcases are gone.

“Cas.” Dean whispers, when he sees a letter. Next to it the manuscript Dean had last given him. He doesn’t care about that anymore. He just wants to have Castiel back. Castiel had said that he loves him.

And Dean had stood there like an Idiot. He should’ve stopped him.

But he hadn’t believed it. He doesn’t deserve Castiel’s love and it’s even more weird that Castiel seems to think the exact same.

Castiel’s letter just says that he had written the company to publish the manuscript just like Dean wanted.

“Dean.”

Deanna comes into the room. She looks sad and heartbroken and the guilt inside Dean feels hot and unforgiving.

“Granny I’m so sorry. I just...” Dean starts but he doesn’t know what to say anyway. Deanna sits down on the bed and takes his hand. Dean is glad she is at least still talking to him. He doesn’t think he deserves that either.

“Do you love him?” Deanna asks and Dean swallows.

“More than anything. But Granny I don’t think I deserve him.” Dean says, but Deanna holds up her hand. He stays quiet.

“That is not for you to decide, Dean. Sweetheart if Castiel loves you, then that’s his decision and I can understand why he does it.” Deanna says and her thumb strokes over Dean’s hand. He sniffles again.

“But I… I lost him already.” Dean whispers and Deanna chuckles.

“You didn’t. The boy is just as much in love with you, he didn’t even leave. I think he is still hoping for you to find him.” Deanna says and Dean looks up at that. Deanna’s grin looks almost wicked.

She always knows everything.

“How do you know?”

“He’s trying to be close to you, so where could he be?” Deanna says and Dean’s eyes widen. Because even though he hadn’t showed Castiel, he had shared it with him in the night, they had sex.

“Baby.”

“That’s right. So hush hush and make me proud.” Deanna says and Dean nods hastily. He runs down the hall and takes two steps at the same time. Outside he ducks his way out of the remaining guests towards the Impala.

Deanna is right. He can clearly see that someone is sitting inside.

“Cas!” Dean opens the passenger door and yes there behind the steering wheel is Castiel. His arms on the steering wheel, crying.

“Fuck Cas!”

This time Castiel seems to hear him and he looks up. Before he can do anything stupid like running away again, Dean kisses him. At first Castiel struggles, but then he finally kisses back.

It feels as good as every other kiss they shared.

“What are you doing here?” Castiel whispers against his lips and opposed to his words, he’s the one who wipes Dean’s tears away and strokes through his hair.

“I should ask you that.” Dean answers and Castiel leans back in his seat again.

“I wanted to be close to you one more time before I would lose you.” Castiel says and he carefully strokes over the steering wheel. Dean is glad that the Impala doesn’t have two seats but a bench, so he can cuddle closer.

“What if I don’t want to lose you?” Dean whispers and he puts his head on Castiel’s shoulder, feeling more grounded already now that he’s back with Castiel.

“Dean I… I told you. This was such a stupid idea, I should never have forced you to marry me.” Castiel says and he sounds so helpless. Dean closes his eyes, tries to calm his heart down.

“You think? Because I feel like it was the best decision we ever made.” Dean says and he opens his eyes to see Castiel opening his mouth to say something. Dean shakes his head. He’s not finished.

“Because I love you. Heck I wanted you since I started working at the company and I was so happy when you asked me out but then… then you got so angry that night and gave me work instead. I was so hurt.” Dean hates to talk about this, but he remembers it like it was yesterday.

“Only because I heard you talk to Benny about one of the hundred flings you had.” Castiel answers and Dean’s eyes widen. Fuck he had heard that.

“I… uhm I wanted to sound cool to my new co-workers. I didn’t have any flings back then, I only started after you rejected me.” Dean admits, feeling horribly ashamed for every stupid word he said back then.

“And I buried myself into work and became an asshole boss.” Castiel chuckles, but it sounds more sad than anything.

“I’m sorry, Cas. But I really mean it. The last days here were so wonderful and I really want you to be part of my family.” Dean says then and Castiel is the one who kisses him this time. So soft, so carefully.

“Okay.”

“Really?” Dean asks and he thinks that it was way too easy.

“I told you a few times already. I fell in love with you, fast and hard. Normally I don’t… I never had this, what we had the last few days. If you really want me Dean, then I’ll stay with you forever.” Castiel says, his blue eyes so honest.

Dean gets lost in all the dark blue.

“I even… I often didn’t publish manuscripts you found, because they were so good and I knew once I published them, you would become an editor and would never work for me again. I was afraid to lose you and so selfish.” Castiel says and Dean snorts.

Okay his boyfriend is an Idiot. So Dean says so.

“You are an idiot if you think I will ever let you go again.” Dean whispers back, grabbing Castiel’s tie to get him closer. Castiel smiles so beautifully again and they get lost together in the next kisses.

“Your idiot.” Castiel mumbles and Dean thinks he can live with that. He’s just as much of an idiot.

“And just to make it clear. The seat you’re sitting on? Is mine.” Dean says and Castiel laughs, before he kisses him again. Dean is pretty sure that he likes kissing more than driving anyway.

And that really means something.


*


“Wow.” Dean says, when he looks at the house. Castiel is grinning brightly.

“I thought so too.” Castiel says and Dean walks over to him. Castiel pulls him into a hug and Dean melts into it. Forgetting his stress at work immediately.

Dean had seen the house a lot of times before, but it looks different with their things in it. It really looks like home.

“Fuck I love you.” Dean says and yeah maybe he says that a lot of times these days, but who could blame him? He is fucking glad to be finally allowed to.

“The others will come over later.” Castiel says and Dean nods. They are living now in Alaska as well. Same city as Dean’s - their family but a bit away in the woods. Dean had found the house a few months ago after he and Castiel had shared their apartment for half a year.

“Does that mean I should start working on cooking?” Dean grins and Castiel pouts up at him. Dean kisses him, melting the pout easily.

“I still have a few pages to write.” Castiel says and Dean nods. After their wedding they both quit at the company. While Dean really became an editor, Castiel warmed up to the idea of becoming an author. Now Dean’s job is to promote his fiancé’s books.

They got their own company and Dean is proud to announce now that his boss fucks him on a regular basis. Castiel smacks his chest and Dean grins.

“You know that I can clearly see that you’re thinking about something dirty.” Castiel says, but he doesn’t look angry.

Dean only shrugs at that

“You know that I always think about you.” Dean says and Castiel’s smile is worth being so corny sometimes.

“Yeah? Because I remember I asked you once before if you waited for someone special to marry you.” Castiel says and Dean knows he is teasing.

“Pretty sure I found that one.”

Just as Dean throws his tie on their couch and he expects Castiel to grumble at him for that, he sees that Castiel isn’t standing next to him anymore.

No. He is kneeling, one of Granny’s rings in his hand.

“Dean Michael Winchester, will you marry me? With chocolate sauce and frosting on top?” Castiel asks and this time Dean almost falls into his arms. They kiss again and Dean can’t take his eyes off the ring on his finger.

He never felt so happy before.

“Yes I will.” Dean says.

Then a second later.

“Fuck does that mean we have to see Ketch again?”