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Do What You Want (disowning)

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“Mr. Jeon, what’s your relation to Mr. Wen Junhui?” the prosecutor asked, inching closer to him as if that would coax the answer out of him.

 

Wonwoo maintained his cold and detached stare, as if he were speaking to his therapist.

 

“I was his partner.”

 

“And where were you on the night of July the seventeenth?” 

 

“I was at Mr. Kim’s penthouse in the upper east side. We were there for- well, what would you say? Dinner?” 

 

“Makes sense.” the prosecutor snorted, clasping his hands behind his back as he turned to face the jury. 

 

“Mr. Jeon, could you please walk us through the events chronologically. That is, if it isn’t too hard or traumatic for you to do so.” the man mocked. 

 

Whether he picked up on the prosecutor’s snide tone or not, no one knew. All anyone could see was the faint grin on his face, as if he were laughing in the face of doom. It was how he coped with everything.

 

“Well, to put everything into context and make your life easier, I’ll start with this. You see, before I was Mr. Wen’s partner, I was with Mr. Kim. Apparently he never got over me.

 

~ Months earlier ~

 

Working in public policy meant that he had to speak out of both sides of his mouth. Heck, he didn’t even believe in public policy. What right did the government have telling people what to do? Nevermind stealing tax money from them to pay for someone’s drug addiction or their retirement which they never saved up for? 

 

It shouldn’t have been something he had thought about considering he was in the heart of New York’s underworld. Though he was surprised he didn’t see any one lying out on the street. It was probably too wet for anyone to set up camp. That and the gangs ruled the streets at night. Of course there wasn’t any use in beating up homeless people or picking on stragglers. But that didn’t mean there weren’t sadistic people out there that didn’t think those things were fun.

 

Besides the fact that the neighborhood was now a ghost town and with the yellow lights shining from the street lamps down onto the asphalt made things look even more ominous. Everything gleamed after the rain, from the brick walls on the sides of buildings to the pipes and telephone wires that were strung overhead. It made him wonder why he chose to walk instead of take the train. Now that he thought of it. He didn’t even remember making the decision. 

 

His mind wandered back to the two conferences he had visited that night. The presentation he had given to a room full of businessmen had occurred earlier in the evening while the convocation of social workers had just gotten out. He took joy in scheduling them right next to each other. It made him feel as though he were cheating on his husband with another man after being with him only a few hours ago. 

 

Of course, he enjoyed going against his true beliefs. He liked putting on an act and fooling everyone. It may have boosted his ego but it also gave him a thrill, seeing all those social worker’s faces falter when he said that the people they claimed to serve and champion were really just lazy buffoons. He also liked switching it up sometimes and telling a conference room full of businessmen that the rent they were demanding was cruel and inhumane. He said everything just for the fun of it. Writing a one-hundred page report on the living conditions of tenants that could determine the livelihoods of hundreds of families? Just for the fun of it.

 

 Perhaps he did enjoy listening to the complaints of tenants who were upset about the lack of space or the musty smell in their apartment coming back. He took great joy in nodding and smiling while they went on and on about how there was lead in the water or how there was a mice infestation. He liked making people feel as though they were being listened to because in the end, they weren’t. 

 

Though overall, the only reason he became a public policy-maker was because he wanted to piss someone off, whether it be the greediest businessman who was looking to raise rent or buy real estate, or the self-righteous charity worker who sacrificed their entire life to the soup kitchen. He never did anything because he was passionate about helping others or because he was in love with helping himself. He did things because they amused him and lying to people amused him. Misery amused him. Everything negative may as well have.

 

Being the most pathetic human being was like being a middle finger in the face of life. For all he cared, life could go to Hell. If there was only one life to torturously live, he may as well make the most of it. And if that meant spending most of his life laughing, then so be it.

 

It was just when he smiled to himself that he heard a loud footstep splash into a puddle a few dozen feet behind him. If it were daytime he would have assumed it was a kid who ran through a puddle. Maybe it was an animal but he didn’t know any animals big enough in New York to make that hell of a splash. Either way, he didn’t increase his footsteps. That would have alerted whoever was following him. Not that he was afraid.

 

Who was he kidding? 

 

Who would follow some nameless bureaucrat like him? A public policy-maker? 

 

Maybe he had indeed succeeded at his job and pissed someone off. Maybe it was a businessman who lost profit or perhaps a tenant who got evicted because of him. He loved businessmen so much he hoped it was one of them. It would simply add to the many contradictions in his life. Perhaps it would finally push him to the breaking point. 

 

The thought made him slow down a little, measuring his footsteps and calming his breath. He could now hear the thud of boots against the wet asphalt sidewalk, not stopping because he stopped. 

 

Just as he was about to turn around, the roar of an engine howled from down one of the empty side streets ahead of him. He could see the lights of the vehicle traveling across the sides of buildings as it got closer but it was only until it reached the intersection that it came out from the corner and stopped, blocking the crosswalk. It was a black van, shining below the street light at the intersection. He would have shrugged it off if it had a license plate and wasn’t lined with tinted windows. It was then that he didn’t know where to look, behind him where approaching danger was, or the unmarked vehicle a little ways ahead? However, he was able to mask his indecisiveness by continuing to look straight, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes as the van’s side door rolled open rather smoothly, revealing a man wearing a black tuxedo. The figure stepped out, taking his time as he set his two feet on the curb. If it hadn’t been for the fact that it was dark out and that Wonwoo had poor eyesight, he would have noticed that the man had pulled out a gun and was aiming it straight at him. It had to have been planned. The stranger behind him was routing him towards the intersection where he would be blocked and have nowhere else to go. He should have known those businessmen he spoke to were of the petty and conniving type. Though he didn’t expect them to go this far. 

 

Before he was about to go running in zig zags, a shot rang out, bouncing off the walls of the building next to him, causing him to crouch down slightly and hold his head. He questioned himself if he were alive seeing that he wasn’t bleeding or anything. He also wanted to pinch himself to see if he were dreaming though the arm that grabbed his wrist confirmed his worst nightmare. 

 

“C’mon. Let’s get out of here.” a gruff voice ordered him, pulling him with only one tug into the van like he was being kidnapped. It took him a second to realize the man had just shot the stranger behind him, putting a bullet through his head. It took him even longer to realize that the murderer was none other than his ex-boyfriend Kim Mingyu. Although he didn’t know if he could call him a murderer. There on the cracked and yellow sidewalk he could see a small metallic object shining next to the dead body of his would-be assailant. It was a knife. 

 

All he could do was stare out the tinted window with his mouth hung open, peering against the glass as he watched the corpse disappear as they sped off down the street. 

 

It was when he felt Mingyu’s large hand sneak around his back to hold the other side of his waist that he recoiled, snapping out of his daze and looking up at the man he once knew.

 

“Mingyu.” he began, sounding more automated than surprised. He could only stare at the man with cold and indifferent eyes, as if he hadn’t almost been attacked. 

 

“Why are you here?”

 

Mingyu seemed to notice the anger in his tone. It came out more like a demand than a nervous question. 

 

The alpha only granted him a chuckle. 

 

“I think you meant to ask why are you here.”

 

He scoffed. 

 

“Whatever floats your boat. Now are you going to tell me or what? I think I have a right to know.”

 

Mingyu’s grin faltered, morphing into a scowl.

 

“What? Would you have preferred me to let you get killed back there? Is it too awkward for you now?” 

 

“No, but I didn’t plan on getting involved in a turf war. I told you I didn’t want to be anywhere near you or your gang.”

 

“It’s too late for that princess. I’m taking you to my place where you’ll be safe. I still care about you Won, did you know that?” 

 

“I found out just now. I guess you care enough to kidnap me.” he retorted, latching onto Mingyu’s arms with both hands in an attempt to pull Mingyu’s hand off his waist though it was no use. The alpha simply laughed, leaning closer to him and bearing his canines as he tried to scent his neck. 

 

“I missed you.” the alpha said, breathing onto his skin. 

 

“Gyu- please. Could you please just take me back home. My husband’s waiting for me and he’s going to be worried.” 

 

“I knew it.” Mingyu smirked. 

 

“Knew what?” he narrowed his eyes, whipping his head to look beside him where Mingyu had been nuzzling his head against him. The taller man only grinned wider, making him all the more angry.

 

“Kim Mingyu don’t look at me like that. I don’t even want to hear it and I’m not playing your games anymore!” 

 

“But I thought you wanted to know.”

 

“If you shut up after then sure, tell me.”

 

Mingyu shook his head as if he had just said the most foolish thing an omega could say. His ex probably still thought of him that way but there was a glint in Mingyu’s eyes that told him something had changed. 

 

“I knew you didn’t love Jun, Wonu. I know you don’t wanna go back home because you want to be with your husband. You’re just sympathetic for him. You don’t want him to worry huh? Is that it? Sympathy and pity isn’t love Wonwoo. You’re only ruining two people’s lives. You and Jun’s. You think Jun deserves that?”

 

“I’m giving him everything I have, more than what you’ve given me.” 

 

Mingyu smirked.

 

“I thought you were the one who said love wasn’t about giving or doing things for others?”

 

“That was when I was dumb and naive. That was when we were together.” 

 

“Well I just wanna fuck you dumb.” the alpha whispered huskily into his neck, wrapping both arms around his torso. 

 

“Stop-”

 

“I deserve to have you. I’ve waited for years now.”

 

“That’s your problem, not mine.” Wonwoo gritted, trying to curl up in a ball against the door. It was no use as the alpha manhandled him into his lap, laying him out sideways as if he were carrying him bridal style.

 

“Gyu- stop! What are you doing?” he shouted, slamming his fists against the taller man’s shoulder. It only made the alpha chuckle louder.

 

“Just for one night Won. Tell your fucking husband you’re aint coming back tonight and that you’re having a sleep over with your omega friends. Perfect cover am I right?” 

 

“No, you’ve always been wrong. This is wrong!”

 

Mingyu clenched his teeth, bringing their foreheads together. His large hands held Wonwoo’s head between them, as if it were a life and death situation. He wanted Wonwoo that badly.

 

“I don’t care if it is. The only moral purpose I live for is my own happiness. And having you makes me happy. Forget about one night stands, I want you forever. Fuck, I’d make you marry me if I could. I’d fucking breed you if that’d make you stay with me.”

 

Wonwoo shook his head, trying to shield his teary eyes from Mingyu’s glowing red ones. 

 

“What’s it gonna take Won? Are you gonna come quietly and peacefully or are we going to have to do this the hard way?”

 

“I choose neither. You aren’t fit to even look at me you- you monster! I hate you!” Wonwoo screamed through his hands. There would have been more power in his voice if he hadn’t muffled it. But he knew Mingyu was stronger and more unrelenting. It was futile. 

 

“Alright then. If that’s how it’s gonna be then I’ll just take my hands- you feel them Wonu? You feel my hands?”

 

The omega snorted in contempt, though it was outweighed by his shame. He couldn’t believe he was actually considering going with Mingyu to his penthouse. He was getting everything he deserved, thinking about cheating on his own husband. Though Mingyu’s hands on his head seemed to make him forget. Despite the uncomfortable pressure exerted by the alpha’s palms, it served as a distraction. 

 

“I could tear you to pieces with these hands Wonu. I could snap your neck if I wanted to.” Mingyu chuckled. “But what good would you be to me then?”

 

Wonwoo uncovered his face, staring with wide eyes at the alpha who claimed to love him. It wasn’t like he was disturbed by the taller man’s words. He was simply afraid. A fear that only Mingyu could make him experience. 

 

“So I’ll take my hands and I’ll remove every worry from your head with them. I’ll crush your skull in so much you’ll forget about Jun and only think of me. You got that Won? Your life is mine.” Mingyu growled, flashing his eyes once more as he saw that the omega began to tremble uncontrollably. 

 

Wonwoo’s chest had been growing tighter and tighter in fear while his breath stalled. It was the worst feeling in the world, even worse than the thought of Jun dying. He didn’t know what was going to happen and for that he was angry. Angry that Mingyu was still playing games with him. Angry that his life was no longer in his own hands. That his own heart was not his to give or to keep. Mingyu was an alpha and he was just an omega. The man had a claim to his life. The man owned him.

 

No. That was where Mingyu was wrong.

 

“Take your hands off me!” he snapped, tugging on the alpha’s arms. When that didn’t work, he did the only other thing he could. He slapped Mingyu across the face, smacking the red glow out of his eyes. 

 

The alpha looked more angry than surprised. Slapping men in the face wasn’t something alien to Wonwoo nor off the table. Wonwoo had done it to him many times whenever he crossed boundaries that were too early to cross. Though this time, Wonwoo slapped him with utter contempt. It wasn’t a teachable moment nor did it help correct his ways. It only made Mingyu want to ruin him more. But that could wait.

 

Mingyu’s claws shot out from his hands, scraping the fabric of Wonwoo’s white satin blouse. The color matched him perfectly. Through all their years together the omega always told him they were going to wait until they got married. Though he wondered if Jun had taken the chance to deflower him before he could. The fucking beta.

 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily omega.” the alpha gritted, holding his clawed hands against Wonwoo’s back, the presence of them sending Wonwoo’s body to jolt and stiffen, almost like he was riding him. The thought made Mingyu smirk.

 

“J-Jun’s going to find me and you’ll be locked up for good.” Wonwoo said, trying not to choke on his own words. 

 

“Really? I didn’t know you had a kink for getting fucked by a prisoner. Promise me you’ll come visit?” 

 

“I’ll come to your execution Kim. You aren’t worth any more of my time than that.” 

 

The alpha let out a huff.

 

“C’mon, don’t give me that bullshit. If you really wanted me dead you would have killed me if you had the chance- and don’t say you couldn’t bring yourself to it. I know how cold-blooded you are. You might be an omega on the outside but there’s something wrong about you on the inside. Preaching about being a virgin, never wearing anything skimpy, all those masks you wear just to hide your true self from me. Don’t you get it? We’re true mates. I can see through everything you try to cover yourself with. Though I gotta say, I think you’d look nice in lace.” the alpha grinned, cupping his rear. 

 

“You were waiting for this moment weren’t you? Shaking that little omega ass of yours and walking all alone in the dark. Fuck, you really wanted it didn’t you? Wanted to get fucked by a stranger. Hell, not even that. You wanted someone lower than you to fuck you right? Wanted some man that was angry at you for something. Wanted his revenge. You always wanted bad romance. That’s why you stuck with me. But you know what, I don’t want revenge. I want your love. I don’t care if I have to force it out of you or if you give me it voluntarily. Your love is your love. Whatever comes from you I’ll cherish. I need you now. I’ve waited so long, Wonwoo. Haven’t looked at or been with any other omega, no matter how many sluts that my men have around me. None of them have ever made me like this.” the alpha growled, grinding his clothed hardness on him. 

 

“You act like a starving animal Kim. You’re disgusting.” 

 

“And you try to act like a kitten when everyone knows you're not. I bet you’re husband thinks you’re off getting fucked. Ever since you left me I knew there was nothing holding you back from losing it. Has Jun tried to take advantage of you yet? You know, since he’s not with Minghao anymore he needs someone to vent to. And you’re right there after all. I bet he fucked you good on your wedding night, did he?”

 

Wonwoo shook his head, whimpering.

 

“Was it on your honeymoon then kitten?” 

 

“No, I haven’t- we haven’t-”

 

“So you’re still a virgin huh princess?” 

 

“That’s what you’d want me to say you bastard!” 

 

“You don’t have to. I already knew you were still one. Looks like you’re still sensitive too.” Mingyu snickered, noticing how Wonwoo’s slick was leaking onto his hardness.

 

“Haven’t had an alpha touch you the right way that’s why.” he added, moving his hands up to the small of the omega’s back. 

 

“You see princess, no man can ever be as pure-hearted as you think they are. I know Jun’s still sweet on Minghao. You can’t hide it. Just like how you can’t hide how much you want me. I’m the only man who understands you, who can give you what you’ve always wanted. Forget about how many people I’ve killed or whatever you hold against me. You can’t deny we’re the same. You just don’t have the guts to do what I do. Fuck, you wouldn’t even kiss me that time we raided the Lee’s.”

 

“I don’t like blood.” Wonwoo scoffed. The pout on his face made the alpha even harder.

 

“Well, so long as you keep loving me, it’ll never be yours. Alright?” 

 

Wonwoo sniffled and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t have the courage to look Mingyu in the eyes anymore. He lost all of his audacity once Mingyu told him how much he loved him. No matter how cruel the alpha was, he couldn't be cruel back. He loved Mingyu that much. He loved him so much that he let his body collapse on Mingyu’s chest, resting his head against his shoulder and letting the taller man scent him.

 

“I wanna go home. Jun needs me.” the omega whimpered, staining Mingyu’s tux with his tears.

 

“Forget about Jun. I don’t want to hear about him no more. I just saved your fucking life.” Mingyu growled, grabbing the omega’s forearms yanking him off him. Wonwoo began to sob, hiding his face behind his sweater paws as his body was sat up and exposed on the alpha’s lap. 

 

“I’m sorry. Thank you- thank you for saving me but I- would you please let me go home? Gyu, I’m serious.” 

 

“And I’m serious too. You don’t want anything to happen to Jun do you?”

 

Wonwoo froze, gasping for breath.

 

“No! He’s innocent! Please! Stop! You wouldn’t!” Wonwoo cried, shaking the alpha’s shoulders even though the taller man barely moved an inch. Mingyu could have grinned at the fact that he had drained all the fight out of Wonwoo but he liked it when the omega struggled. Conquering Wonwoo was his favorite pastime.

 

“Relax. All you have to do is be a nice good omega for me. I’m not asking much from you princess. Never have.” 

 

Wonwoo scoffed.

 

“That all depends on your definition of what being a good omega means. What do you want me to do? Play along with your sick fetishes?” 

 

The alpha huffed.

 

“Maybe if I was Jun. I always knew the little bastard was twisted inside. Don’t worry babe. I have something else in mind. I know you’ll like it.” 

 

“You looking at me like that isn’t helping.” Wonwoo snapped. 

 

“Sorry princess, I didn’t know me looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.”

 

“It isn’t like that ever stopped you.” 

 

“You got that right.” Mingyu grinned, grabbing the omega’s right hand, turning it over, and kissing the top of it. Wonwoo cringed but no matter how hard he tried to pull it away the alpha was too strong. It gave him a thrill. He didn’t want to want Mingyu but perhaps the devil was his savior. Only in the most evil form and the most rotten way could Mingyu save him. At least, that’s what he always hoped for. They were indeed the same but Minygyu knew him more than he knew his own self. He needed Mingyu. Those red glowing eyes were the only light in the tunnel. 

 

It may have looked as though Mingyu was a rebel without a cause but that was wrong. From the moment they met, the alpha made sure to make him understand that the only cause he lived for was his own. The alpha didn’t fight for nothing but his own happiness. Mingyu held his own flag. And he would be there walking alongside the alpha as he held up his flag on the dark march towards whatever they were approaching. For they lived in a world where no one was innocent. Whether it be because they renounced their own innocence, or had it taken from them. 

 

For all he knew, only Mingyu could have it. Hearts were hard and brittle. They could break easily. But one’s innocent mind was soft and malleable. It could be molded into the shape that fit another’s vision, to fit another’s purpose. Though it had been so long since he saw Mingyu. Without the connection, he felt like he was going to go insane. Of course, where they were headed, it was inevitable. 

 

Though, it wasn’t like he was cheating. Mingyu was forcing him into a situation he had no control over. It was exactly what the omega wanted. He never wanted to be in control.

 

Letting out a faint breath, Wonwoo let his head fall under Mingyu’s chin. It was more out of tiredness than from his craving for the alpha’s warmth. Though it was there nonetheless. Mingyu retracted his claws and the palms of his hands came to rest on his lower back. Finally, they both could relax. For a moment.

 

Wonwoo chuckled aloud, shaking his head beneath the taller man’s chin.

 

“Do what you want but I’ll never go back to you. I can’t.” 

 

Mingyu narrowed his eyes, staring into his brown orbs with the intensity of a demon wolf. It was as if he was struggling between laughing or ridiculing him. But the sadistic grin forming on Mingyu’s face said otherwise.

 

“It never mattered to me whether you could or couldn’t. You don’t have a say in this princess. I follow the law of the jungle. It’s not your fault you look good enough to eat. And it’s not my fault that I’m an alpha with needs. This is how it works around here.”

 

“That’s why I left.” Wonwoo said into Mingyu’s chest, clutching onto the alpha’s shoulders.

 

Mingyu grinned, kissing the top of his forehead. 

 

“Right. But look where you are now. You won’t ever leave me again baby.” 

 

He raised his head up and his eyes darted towards the window on his right. He forgot Mingyu was taking him to his penthouse. Mingyu had been teasing him and softening him up so much that the dread hadn’t kicked in until now. But what was the use in worrying? He wasn’t in control. And if he wasn’t in control there was no point in worrying. It was all up to Mingyu now. After all, the guy was an alpha. 

 

Even if he was a mafia boss and a cold-blooded killer, Mingyu had always been gentle with him. 

 

At least, that was the old Mingyu.