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They're Just Like Real People - Only Smaller

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Brian Harold May never had much time for play in his childhood. He was confined to his room most of the time, not by some tyrannical parents or sadistically driven siblings, but by his love of reading and obtaining knowledge.

One day his father came into his room, just as he was getting to his favourite part of the Principia Mathematica. While only four years old, the child was brilliant and had taught himself enough Latin and Greek to understand his favourite authors and the works of his most wondrous of heroes – Sir Isaac Newton.

“Brianus?” his father asked. Brian had decided that he would like to be called by a Latin name as he felt he wouldn’t be taken seriously when he was old enough to go to school if he didn’t have some sort of gravitas to his title. Being not of noble blood nor having any credentials to his name, the best he could come up with was ‘Brianus’. He was certain when he was older, he would assume the title King Lord Sir Dr Brianus Haroldus Mayus PhD MA ACTL ALPHABET. But for now, ‘Brianus’ would do.

“Ita vero, pater?” Brian answered. His father shook his head in exasperation and wonder at his little child prodigy, “In English if you please, Brian.”

Brian pouted a beautiful pout, but acquiesced to his father’s request.

“Yes, father?”

Dinner is ready, if you would like to wash up and come downstairs.

Brian groaned inwardly. There was nothing he detested more than company. Whenever they had company, he wasn’t allowed to talk about his favourite people, and wasn’t allowed to leave the table to read until at least a bazillion hours after the meal!

He scrubbed up, and put his favourite jersey on, the one his mother had knitted for him, with the stars, planets, and mathematical formulae stitched into it. While she had misrepresented the inclination of Pluto’s orbit and one of the differential equations was missing its argument, he had been delighted with it.

When he got to the table, he was very surprised to find that the guest chair wasn’t filled with some stuffy old person in a white shirt, but by a blonde boy who couldn’t have been too much younger than himself. Sticking his chest out like his father, he walked over to the other boy and extended his hand ready to introduce himself.

The blonde boy looked up and grinned, and Brian’s planned introduction of ‘Hello, my name is Brianus May. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance this evening,’ somehow came out as “Erm, hi. My – my name’s Brian,” accompanied with a blush as he looked down at his shoes.

The guest shook his hand and Brian looked up. “Hi, Brian!” He said enthusiastically, “I’m Roger! I think I’m going to be staying for the summer!”

Brian couldn’t help grinning back at his over-excited new friend. He also couldn’t help noticing that Roger’s jersey had a spaceman on the moon on the front of it. “Do you like spacemen?” he asked hopefully.

“Oh boy, yeah I do! I’m gonna be the first man on the moon,” Roger said excitedly. Brian looked impressed. “I’m going to be the first man on the sun!” Brian replied. Roger looked at him in awe.

“I also have a rocket in my room. After dinner do you wanna go and play spacemen?”