Jäger was mad. He was so mad. Bandit was sitting on his hospital bed, arm in a sling, stitches on his eyebrow arch and various hematoma on his body. He was nonchalantly looking at Marius, like he was the one who had been in a motorcycle accident because he wasn’t attentive enough.
“Are you planning on glaring at me to death?” Bandit scoffed.
“So what, you get into an accident and the first thing you do is call Ela because that’s right, she’s the one who cares the most?!” Jäger shouted.
“She’s the one who wouldn’t make a fuss over it, just sign the goddam papers and drive me back to Hereford, happy ever after.”
“But you just had an accident! You were injured! Do you have any idea how freaked out I was when she told me?! I’m just glad I was just next to her when she picked up her phone, I wouldn’t have known otherwise and-“
“See! That’s exactly why I didn’t call you. I knew you’d make a fuss and lose your shit.”
“Make a fuss and lose my sh- How dare you?!” Marius’s face turned red. “I wouldn’t have made a fuss had you actually called me and let me help you!”
“I don’t need help. I need someone to sign those papers and drive me back to the base without yelling at me like I’m some fucking kid. Now just sign those or I’ll phone Ela so that she comes to drive you back.”
Marius’s face twitched at that.
“So what, she’s your girlfriend now? You pull that Ela card on me every time I say something that doesn’t please you?”
“Just sign the papers Marius, I’m getting sick of you right now.”
“Getting sick of… of me?”
Bandit saw it. The damage he just did. He saw it on how Marius’s face broke. How his throat tensed, as if he couldn’t swallow anymore. How his mouth twitched with the thousand noiseless words coming out. How his eyes almost watered at the pain Bandit had just inflicted him.
“Yeah I’ll sign those papers.” he mumbled.
“Fucking finally” That wasn’t necessary, man. Really not necessary, you know that. You were doing so good lately, but you had to go back to your destructive self, uh?
Marius went to sign the papers, without looking back at Dominic. He asked the doctors what Dominic would need, what painkillers, what about the stitches and other injuries, and he clearly forgot that Doc and Finka would take care of that, back at home. Well look at you Dom, calling Hereford ‘home’.
The doctors reassured Marius, and the two Germans left the hospital without sharing a word. Marius opened the car door for Dominic, who sat down without a thank you, and Marius went to the driving seat, fastening his seat belt. Dominic noticed how Marius’s hands were shaking, how he was gripping the wheel like a catatonic patient.
“You’re sure you up to driving? Just sayin’ cause two accidents in a day…” Shut up, Dom. Don’t you think you’ve done enough?
Marius didn’t answer and pulled away from the parking. The drive was mostly silent. Marius was staring at the road with wide opened eyes, like a scared newly licensed teenager would. Sometimes, the white light of the grey sky would get obscured by the tall trees when they drove through the forest that was separating the base from the main town. But then something twitched on Marius’s face. Dominic saw it. Marius pinched his lips and seemed to struggle for breath.
“Marius? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, just… don’t mind me.” His voice had seemed normal, though a bit croaked. His throat tightened again and Dominic started to worry because Marius wasn't asthmatic.
“Marius, just… if there’s something wrong…” Of course there’s something wrong, you mentally wrecked your boyfriend when he was just worried about you. In his own way.
“Shut up. You do you and I do me, okay?” Marius violently threw back at him. Dominic lifted his eyebrows and puffed. Ok, so he was just making a fuss again. Dominic didn’t reply, not wanting to be scolded again like a kid, crossing his arms and staring at the landscape.
He had been dozing off when he heard it. A strangled whine. He turned his head to Marius who had put a hand over his mouth.
“Marius, pull over.”
Marius hesitated so Dominic yelled at him:
“Marius, fucking pull over!”
Marius braked and pulled over to the emergency lane.
When they finally stopped, Dominic glared at him:
“Marius what the fuck is that, are you having spasms?”
But then his heart broke when a tear rolled down Marius’ left eye. Marius was smothering his sobs with his hand, but his eyes finally gave in and more tears rolled over his cheeks, his body shaking and his whines painfully strangled.
“Marius, hey, it’s ok don’t-“
“I don’t want to lose you.” Marius broke down. “I don’t… want to lose you.”
Dominic gaped at that, eyebrows knitting with shock and worry.
“But you’re not going to lose me.” He replied as if it were obvious.
Marius cried some more, as if the mere juxtaposition of “lose” “me” was stabbing him in the ribs. Dominic reached for his arm, placing his hand on his.
“I- Is it about what I said at the hospital? When I said I was getting sick of you?” Stop repeating it you stupid idiot, you’re twisting the knife in the wound.
“I’m sorry" Marius sobbed "I’m just so sorry I yelled at you and sorry I was not trustful enough for you to call me and-“
No, no, no this… this is not healthy, man.
“Marius don’t even dare apologize, I’m the fucking idiot. I should never have yelled at you and treated you like shit. You were worried about me and all I did was getting angry because you were yelling at me, instead of just reassuring you. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
Was is so hard, tough guy?! Just say how fucking sorry you are for being an idiot, just pour your heart out and tell him how much you love him. Say it!
“I didn’t want you to worry. It wasn’t a serious injury.” No, no, that’s not even close to it.
“Precisely” Marius continued “If it were nothing, you shouldn’t have concealed it for fear that I would freak out and call Ela instead.”
Dominic took his seat belt off and cupped Marius’s cheek with his valid arm:
“Marius. You know that I’m an idiot, right?”
Marius softly nodded. And how fucked up were they that he actually nodded to that and it was okay?
“I was stupid, ok? I got hurt, and I knew it would hurt you too if I just called to tell you Hey babe, I’m at the hospital right now, but don’t worry it’s just a scratch I crashed my bike. Can you come sign my papers?”
“Well, if you put it like that” Marius shrugged, which earned a small chuckle from Dominic.
“And as for what happened at the hospital. I should never have said that. There is no parallel universe in which that was okay. I was just being a kid, talking back because you were yelling at me. Because you were worried. You were, weren’t you?”
“Of course I was. And I was… sad. Because you would call Ela but not me.”
And that’s when you’re supposed to tell him how much you’re sorry again and how much you love him. Tell him he’s the love of your life and how you could die for him.
“Sorry.” For fuck sake, man! Just tell him already! “You’re feeling better?”
“Not really. But I’ll be okay. I guess.”
Marius moved his face away from Dominic’s hand and reached for the car keys.
“Marius… I fucking love you, you know that?”
Marius tensed, and he shouldn’t tense when you tell him you love him. He should melt. Like butter, or candle wax, or ice cream or... whatever. Dominic brought his valid hand back to Marius face, caressing his wet cheek:
“I love you so much, I could kill for you.” Very romantic, man. “I could never stand losing you. You’re just it, you know?”
Marius bit his lips and lowered his gaze, staring in the void:
“Of course you are. And always will.”
He leaned forward and kissed Marius’s cheek:
“I hate to see you hurt...”
“I hate to see you hurt too. And I want to be there, next time.”
“Next time, uh?” Dominic chuckled.
Marius turned his head, grabbed Dominic’s cheeks with his hands and kissed him deeply to the point that their teeth almost banged.
“Of course, there’ll be a next time. I know how you are.”
“Then I’ll make sure to give you a call while licking my wounds. Literally.”
Marius rolled his eyes while starting the engine again:
“I love you, you sickfuck.”
“I love you too, weirdo.”