Work Header

The Future Briefing Island

Chapter Text

Momo shot up from where she was sitting on the armrest of the couch. Absolute panic was on her face, in her bloodstream, and vibrating through every muscle in her body. “Everybody run!” she shouted, turning towards the stairs. She needed to escape. Momo knew that look on her mother’s face. Forget the fear she’d faced at the USJ or when she went to Kamino. This was the worst possible situation she could be in.


The doors to the theatre slammed shut behind Mr. Aizawa, All Might, and Principal Nezu, cutting off her retreat. Momo quickly turned towards the wall. Alright, fine! I’ll make a cannon and blast my way out of here! Unbuttoning her shirt, Momo began activating her quirk. Blue light flared, cutting off her quirk’s activation and bringing a pounding headache to her brain. She felt like she’d taken an ice pick to the skull!


“Nope! Not having any of that noise!” Kamimoto declared, having slammed on the quirk suppressor again. “I just had that wall repaired after All Might busted it yesterday! I am not explaining to Upper Management that I need it fixed two days in a row!”


“We do seem to be prone to causing property damage, ribbit,” Tsu spoke. She turned her head to look straight at Izuku and Ochaco. Neither of them seemed to notice her words or her gaze, as both of them were completely red in the face.


“Fuck that shit, I’m out,” Katsuki spat, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning around to head up the stairs towards the doors.


Hanta leaned over the railing and tapped Rikido on the shoulder. “Hey, is this really a good idea?” he whispered. “I mean…”


“Yeah,” Rikido agreed, the baker’s cheeks turning pink. “Sex ed class with Miss Midnight sounds, uh…”


“I’m all for it!” Minoru declared. “Lay it on me, Miss Midnight! I’ll show you all just how much I know!”


Midnight cracked her whip. “Silence!” Dead quiet filled the theatre, except for Katsuki as he growled and angrily tried to throw the locked doors open, but they refused to budge. “Bakugo! Return to your seat this instant. This class is mandatory. Actually, why don’t we change the seating up a little? Ladies can sit in the second row, gentlemen can sit in the third and fourth rows, and right here in the centre of the front row…” Midnight smiled as her eyes fell upon Izuku and Ochaco, “…we can have our lovely couple of Midoriya and Uraraka.”


“This is all your fault, Midoriya!” Denki accused him. “I never should have let you talk me into giving you those pickup lines!”


“You were the one who freely offered them to Midoriya, Kaminari,” Tenya was quick to remind the blond as he stood from his seat in the front row.


Fumikage nodded. “That is true,” he agreed. “And I highly doubt that it was the pickup lines that got them together.”


“Ho boy,” Itsuka sighed as she veered off from Tetsutetsu and Neito. This is gonna be weird. At least the rest of class B isn’t here. I think Pony would die if she had to take sex ed in a foreign language.


Amahi Kamimoto giggled from her seat with the AV equipment. When Midnight had come to her just before lunch to inform her of this planned lesson she was immediately onboard with the project. They had a couple sharing a room, after all. Nobody knew just how much they may have retained from any health classes they had in middle school; it was imperative that they be prepared in the event that any relationships formed between the students during their stay on this tropical island paradise away from the nosy eyes and ears of their parents turned… spicy .


Izuku was sweating nervously as he sat next to Ochaco on the couch directly in front of where Midnight stood at the front of the room. He gripped his notebook and a pencil in his hands to keep them from going anywhere. Notes. Notes would be a good thing to take during this impromptu class, right? There was health class in junior high; this would just be a refresher on that. It wasn’t anything to get worked up about, right? It was just a healthy classroom discussion about sex; no biggie…Nevermind that his girlfriend of less than twenty-four hours was sitting right next to him and had given him an erection last night!


Ochaco stared forward at Midnight, trying to keep a peppy smile on her sweat-soaked face. This is fine. Totally fine. Midnight’s a teacher who’s just teaching a class we’d have had to take anyway because of the dorms sometime this term. We’re just getting it early. Maybe it’ll be fun? Yeah, that’s it! This’ll be a fun class that we can just laugh off later. There’s no need to be so nervous, Ochaco, so ye can stop sweating like crazy! Yer gonna make yer shirt see-through! Oh, fuck! It hasn’t soaked through it yet, has it? Izuku can’t see my bra, can he?


Midnight licked her lips as she surveyed the twenty-four students in front of her and held up the remote she had gotten from their island caretaker. Pressing a button, the screen behind her lit up with a simple white page. Apparently she had a slideshow presentation to aid her. “Now then, before we begin, show of hands, who all has had a sex ed class before? Whether it was a private one from a doctor or another teacher or in middle school doesn’t matter; I just want to be sure of where we stand.”


Slowly, nervously, most everyone glancing around at everyone else, many of the students raised their hands, all except for Mei. Midnight gave her a curious look. “Miss Hatsume? Have you not had a sexual education class before?”


The pink-haired dreadlocked inventor laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head while grinning. “I mean, probably? But I honestly didn’t pay any attention!” She pumped her fist energetically. “It didn’t have anything to do with mechanics or engineering, so I tuned it right out!”


“Aha,” Midnight purred. “So we have a novice with us. No need to feel ashamed, dear, that just means that I get to teach you all the full course!”


Mei giggled. “Shame? What’s that?”


We are fucked! Kyoka thought.


I am going to die, Momo realized, her face growing even paler. I am absolutely going to die! Mother, why must you do this to me?


Midnight clicked the remote she was holding and some words appeared on the first slide. “Now then,” she said. “Let’s start things off with an overview of what we’ll be discussing today. First, we’ll begin with anatomy. I’ll be having each of you, boys and girls, identify the parts of the opposing gender’s genitalia and we will also be discussing the components of the female reproductive system and the basics of how a child is conceived. After that we will be discussing contraceptives and ways of preventing diseases that affect your reproductive systems. Once that’s out of the way, we will move on to the fun things: proper ways to begin a sexual encounter with a partner, foreplay, kinks, positions, fetishes, and so on. What’s good and what’s bad. What’s porn and what’s real life. There will be no shaming of anyone for anything that is said here. The only sin in the bedroom is ignorance, and I hope to correct any ignorance you young men and women harbour in your brains.” She cracked her whip again.


“So please, ask your stupid questions. Be prepared to feel embarrassed and dumb because you know nothing. Get ready to share your kinks and fantasies with your peers. We’ll get all of that out of your systems! I promise that once you leave this theatre, you’ll have all the knowledge you need to be prepared to have the time of your lives beneath the sheets! Prepare yourselves, virgins, your training has only just begun!”


As blushes swept through the audience while some broke out into cold sweats hearing Midnight say that they would be sharing some of their innermost private thoughts, one diminutive ball-haired hero-to-be stood up. “I’m not a virgin!” Minoru piped up, raising his hand.


Midnight’s whip didn’t quite reach him, but it rent the air with a deafening CRACK that had most of the students flinching away. “Oh yes you are, Mineta. Don’t try to pretend otherwise.”


Mina giggled and elbowed Tsuyu next to her. “I betcha Miss Midnight can smell a virgin a mile away,” she whispered.


“You realize she was talking about us too, ribbit?”


Midnight coiled her whip around her left forearm and pulled it tight. Even though it didn’t crack, it did make an audible sound that carried. “As a warning, naughty virgins who chatter too much will be punished , so I suggest you keep the background talk to a minimum, unless being punished is something you crave. In that case, I’d be more than happy to provide a live demonstration on how you properly use a whip and crop.”


Momo buried her head in her hands and stifled the scream in her throat. This was just the absolute worst! Oh please, gods, kill me now.


Midnight clicked the remote in her hand and she dropped the sadistic smile. The words “MALE ANATOMY” appeared on the screen behind her. “Now then, let us discuss the parts of the male reproductive system.” Another click from her remote, and a diagram appeared. A few of the boys blinked uncomfortably or blushed a little while nearly all of the girls’ faces turned red. Nearly all. Hatsume was looking forward with a smile and rapt attention. Midnight pressed another button on the remote and a red laser pointer lit up on the diagram. “Now then, ladies, can any one of you tell me what this is?”


Mina raised her hand, blushing throughout as the teacher called on her. Well, if they were going to be embarrassed, might as well have fun while she was at it! “It’s a tube of extra sausage, ma’am!”


Midnight frowned at her answer as a number of giggles and chuckles rippled through the assorted teenagers. The whip CRACK struck the air centimetres in front of Mina’s nose. Mina shrieked and jumped backwards, activating the recliner mode of the couch seat she was on and falling onto her back. “The proper name, Miss Ashido, is a ‘penis’. Let that be a lesson to all of you. There will be no euphemisms during this class. There will be no talks of cocks, dicks, pussies, rosebuds, tits, mountains, tracks of land, jewels, balls, sausages, peckers, schlongs, boobs, pricks, flowers, manhoods, womanhoods, udders, mushrooms, funbags, jambags, or one-eyed monsters. While we are having this class, you are to refer to those things by their proper names, which we will be going over. Yaoyorozu!”


“Y-yes!” Momo yelped.


Midnight shifted the laser pointer. “Please, identify this area of the penis for me.”


Gulping, but at least thankful that her mother had already taught her these things so she knew the answer was correct, Momo answered. “The glans.”


“Very good. And above it?”


“The foreskin.”


“Thank you.” Midnight turned her gaze away from Momo and brought it down a little. She smiled, and Ochaco froze, realizing that she was about to be called on next. Mina had revoked their ability to volunteer themselves. Midnight moved the laser pointer to another spot on the diagram. “Uraraka, could you please name this part?”


Ochaco’s face turned red and she heated up as she looked at where the laser pointer was. “Uh, uhm…” she looked down, bunching up her hands in embarrassment. “I don’t remember the technical name for it, but it holds the testes!”


“Correct, Uraraka,” Midnight stated. “And that’s all right. This is the scrotum. As Uraraka said, it contains the testes, which can also be called testicles or male gonads, which are the glands in the male body that produce a man’s sperm as well as several hormones, including the production of testosterone. The scrotum is a skin pouch in which the testes may move freely, but they are connected to the body by the spermatic cord. The cord supplies the nerves and blood for each testis, as well as the vas deferens, which carries sperm from the testes to the urethra to be expelled from the penis during ejaculation.”


Midnight rested her hands on her hips and leaned forward slightly. “Any questions about the male anatomy?”


Mei shot up her hand and Midnight called on her. “Yes! How much tensile force does it take to twist it off?”


Mouths dropped and the boys looked aghast at what Mei had just said, several of them gasping her name in surprise and horror. “H-Hatsume!?”


She blinked. “What? It seems like a design flaw, having something so important protruding from the body. I want to know how much force they can withstand.”


Midnight placed a finger to her chin and gazed ponderously at Mei while Kamimoto quietly cackled in the back. “I’m not sure, Hatsume. Though there are men who are into pain, so if you find one and ask them, they may be able to help you.”


“Excellent!” Mei exclaimed. She whirled around in her seat. “Monoma! Would you like to be my test subject?”


The blond squawked and started in surprise. “Me? What makes you believe that I want to have you twisting my cock and balls off!?”


“Well Kendo said that you must have a tiny dick, so I just assumed it would be less painful for you,” Mei replied.


As Itsuka turned white and Neito turned red, shouting the ginger’s family name, Toru pulled on Mei’s sleeve. “No! Hatsume! Remember what Miss Midnight said? We’re not allowed to say ‘dick’. You have to say that Monoma has a small penis instead.”


Mei giggled to herself. “Oops. Sorry Midnight, my bad.”


Katsuki started howling with laughter. “Nevermind, I’m glad I’m sticking around for this shit.”


“Calm down, Bakugo,” Midnight dryly instructed him. “It’s not that funny.”


“Miss Midnight,” Yuga inquired, raising his hand. “If I use the French words for anatomy, would that be acceptable?”


“You may.”


Rikudo looked at Yuga. “What’s the French word for penis anyway?”


“Pénis,” he replied. He received several stares for his efforts. “Vous êtes tous des barbares!”


Ochaco glanced towards Izuku, whom she saw was in the middle of sketching Midnight’s diagram and labeling the different parts, and breathed a bit of a sigh of relief. He was probably just as stressed as she was, but at least he had found something to channel that into. Perhaps she should start taking notes? Ochaco reached for the notebook she’d grabbed yesterday, that she honestly had barely put anything into, and raised her hand. “Um, Miss Midnight?”


“Yes, Uraraka, you have a question?”


Ochaco nodded her head, finding herself involuntarily glancing towards Izuku’s lap before returning her gaze back to her teacher’s face. “Um, yes. For reference, how… uh, big , do penises get?”


The scritchy-scratchy sounds of Izuku’s pencil on paper as he sketched stopped.


It wasn’t just Izuku’s pencil, everyone went quiet as they digested Ochaco’s question. The guys shifted furtively in their seats, each of them having intensely private thoughts.


Just as Midnight was about to open her mouth, Mei beat her to the punch. “Well that’s an easy question to answer,” she giggled. “We just need to line the boys up and measure ‘em! Then we’ll get our five ms: maximum, minimum, mean, median, and mode! Now where’s my tape measure?”


“She’s not serious, is she?” Denki asked.


“I’m afraid that she is, man!” Eijiro replied.


“You want to measure me?” Minoru asked. “I’ll let you get your hands all over me if you want!”


Tenya started chopping his arm as he shot up straight. “Hatsume! Suggesting we do something like that is inappropriate and unacceptable!”


“But I’ll also need this data for support gear and costume upgrades,” Mei countered. “I already have all the girls’ measurements because their costumes need to fit. If we need to be adding cups to protect your penises and testes while you’re out and about hero-ing I’m gonna need your measurements so they fit! Can’t have you going into battle with your penis shoved down a pant leg, can I?” She looked back towards Midnight. “They don’t get that big, do they?”


Midnight shrugged. “They can be.” She clicked the remote again, and while the slide didn’t change, a chart with some data in appeared. “Since I know that penis size is a question that will always cum up,” she winked, “I have this prepared. Now, the largest medically verified penis on record was thirty-four centimetres, or thirteen and a half inches in length and sixteen centimetres or six and one quarter inches in width when erect. The smallest ever recorded was one centimetre long. Having a such a small penis can be caused by a few conditions, one of which is micropenis, where the majority of the penis is inside of the body rather than outside. Another is congenital hypoplasia, where the glans connects directly to the pubis and there simply is no shaft at all. On average, however, you would expect to see sizes between ten centimetres or just under four inches and sixteen centimetres or six and a quarter inches when erect. Out of a hundred people, you’d only find ten who are above or below those measurements.”


She looked directly at Mei. “Got that, Hatsume? You should be fine working within those parameters. We won’t be lining the boys up and having you measure them. If you absolutely need to measure the size of their genitals for any costume improvements, do so privately and do not share that information with anyone.”


The inventor nodded. “Got it! I’ll just have to create a tiny one to accomodate Monoma’s micropenis.”


“I don’t have a micropenis!” Neito shouted. “Kendo! This is all your fault!”


“Yah sound pretty aggressive there, Monoma,” Katuski barked. “Sure that vehement denial of yours isn’t compensating for something?”


“I don’t have anything to say to you , Bakugo,” Neito fired back after huffing a laugh. “Haven’t you heard the bigger the quirk the smaller the dirk? I apologize for the euphemism, Miss Midnight, but the proper term just doesn’t rhyme with ‘quirk’, you understand.”


A vein throbbed in Katsuki’s forehead. “You wanna compare, Copycat? I’ll compare right now, bastard! Whip it out, show everyone you don’t have a micropenis, but it’s still gonna look like you do compared to mine! I ain’t gonna lose to you in anything!”


Eijiro glanced away. I don’t know, Bakubro, he thought to himself as he recalled their visits to the hot springs at the training camp, didn’t seem like it was that big.


Momo sighed and placed her head in her hands. “This conversation is disgusting.”


Izuku was looking up from his notebook and staring at the chart on the slide with a look of frozen horror on his face. He started to mutter. “Wait, so having to stuff it in a pant leg isn’t normal? I finally got a quirk and started to feel normal and suddenly I’m not normal anymore? I know my classmates are fine with One For All, but what if this makes them all turn on me? Crap, what’s Ochaco going to think? What’s gonna happen if our relationship gets to that stage? Will she look at it and think it’s disgusting? I’m sorry, Mom, I know you hoped for grandchildren, but that might never happen now that I found out I’m a freak.”


His voice was so quiet that Ochaco was sure that she was the only one who heard him mutter, and her face turned red as a tomato while her eyes strayed to the crotch of Izuku’s pants, searching for the outline of…


“Oh? Is that so? Tell me, which one of us has their provisional hero license and which one of us doesn’t? Oh wait, that’s right, I do. What does it matter if yours is larger than mine by a centimetre or two? I can go out on a work study and be a real hero while you’re stuck taking a special course because you’re such a failure.”


“If both of them keep this up, neither one is graduating from being a virgin,” Toru commented.


“You said it, sister,” Mina agreed. “Hey, Kyoka? You doing okay?”


The girl with jacks on her earlobes jumped at hearing her name and quickly folded her arms and looked away from Mina, blushing tremendously. “Of course not!” she hissed. “This whole class is embarrassing.” Internally, she was panicking.


Holy shit! Broccoli’s dick goes into his pants! Fuck! Did not need to hear that!


Midnight snapped her whip again, the sound shredding the air apart. “SILENCE!” She tugged on the cord a couple of times. “Clearly, some of you wish to be naughty virgins and get punished. Keep this attitude up and I will follow through on my threat.”


The students all quieted down, Izuku looking up from his mini-freak out. “And to you boys who just may happen to be in the fifth or ninety-fifth percentile, don’t stress yourself out. Being larger or smaller than the average is nothing to concern yourself with. The size of your penis does not dictate how good of a lover you can be to your partner. Now then.” Midnight clicked her remote again and the slide changed. A new picture appeared on the screen, this time showing the same member, but erect. “Ladies, can one of you tell me properly what is the difference between the previous slide and this one?”


Tsuyu raised her hand and was called upon by their teacher. “Uh, that would be an erection ma’am.”


“Very good, Asui. And can you explain why and how the penis becomes erect and what this state is for?”


Tsuyu nodded, softly ribbiting as she blushed faintly. “It happens when a man is sexually aroused. Blood fills tissue that surrounds the penis, making it bigger and stiffer so that it can more easily… go into a woman’s vagina.”


“Top marks!” Midnight stated, giving the Frog-girl a thumbs-up. She activated the laser pointer again. “Now, once the male is aroused, he will also start to produce precum, or pre-ejaculate.” A few snickers descended from the theatre rows. “Yes, that is a real word, and not something that you only read in smutty books.”


Momo felt her heart thump in her chest. Midnight had smiled knowingly when she said that, even though the hero hadn’t been looking at her. She knows! How did Mother find them? I made sure to hide those novels thoroughly!


“This fluid serves two functions,” Midnight continued. “The first of which is to cleanse and adjust the pH of the urethra, through which the male ejaculate consisting of sperm-filled semen will be expelled upon climax. The se—”


“Wait!” Mina cried, getting to her feet and grabbing the railing in front of her. “Cum comes outta there !? A guy’s not going to pee in us, is he?”


“I should certainly hope not,” Midnight replied. “There are those that have certain kinks involving urine, though, and are usually part of a degradation kink, but at no point should a man ever urinate inside of a vagina. Additionally, it is much more difficult for a man to urinate while sustaining an erection.”


Denki shot his hand up. “I thought it was impossible to pee when you had one!”


“Not impossible, no, just much more difficult,” Midnight corrected him. “When engorged with blood, the urethra is compressed, requiring much more pressure from the bladder to expel urine from the body. You’d need to intend to go and have a legitimate need to relieve yourself in order to do so when having an erection. Does that clear things up for you, Kaminari?”


“Uh, yeah… thanks,” he answered, and sighed in relief.


“As I was saying, the second purpose of the creation of precum is to lubricate the penis to better penetrate the vagina during intercourse,” Midnight continued. “During orgasm, muscle contractions will occur throughout the shaft, pumping the ejaculate through the restricted urethra and out of the penis.” She smacked her whip into her hand. “Now then, ladies, time to put your thinking caps on. I know none of you virgins are as innocent as you would want us teachers to believe. Can anyone give me any examples on how you would induce arousal in a man you’re interested in having sex with to get him nice and hard and erect and get that lubricating precum flowing?”


The girls froze on the spot. They hadn’t thought thoroughly enough on how much audience participation this class of Midnight’s was going to entail. Absolutely none of them wanted to raise their hands, not after Midnight’s first reaction to Mina’s initial informal offering of information. Midnight smiled as she looked over the girls, while the boys in class just smirked or looked away in sympathetic embarrassment. Poor Koji had his head in his hands and was lightly shaking it while Shoto’s eyes were as wide as saucers. He may have raised his hand for having had a sexual education course before, but apparently this was far more in-depth than what he’d been subject to before.


“No takers?” Midnight asked. “Very well, then… Miss Hatsume? You’ve admitted to having the least knowledge among your peers. Do you have any ideas on how to stimulate arousal in a man?”


Mei’s smile hadn’t left her face once since the class started. She giggled. “Before I answer that, I would like to confirm something. May I ask a question?”


Midnight nodded her head, interested in where the young lady was going. “You may.”


“Guys like girls’ breasts, right?” Mei asked.


“It’s common enough to be considered a generally accepted assumption, yes,” Midnight replied.


Minoru’s ears perked up as Mei clarified whether or not guys liked boobs. Already he was imagining the Support Girl wrapping those massive tits of hers around his head and smothering his face in them, and given the redness on the cheeks of some of his peers, he wasn’t the only one having dirty thoughts about the crazy inventor and her huge rack.


“Then like this!” Mei declared, turning around in her seat and unbuttoning her blouse. Her brazen action, done without an ounce of shame, stunned male and female students alike, and none could act to stop her until the last button was undone, showing off her toned stomach and sculpted abs beneath the turquoise bra that supported her prodigious chest. Izuku counted himself lucky that he was in the row in front of Mei, so he could only see her back and not her chest, but he could see the eyes of many of his male classmates bug-out as they stared before many of them turned away awkwardly.


Then an explosion of sound and a flurry of activity happened. Kyoka tackled Mei into the couch, the inventor landing on top of Mina’s stomach, as Kyoka shouted at her to cover up. Tenya jumped to his feet, hand chopping as he scolded Mei for inappropriate behaviour. Minoru looked like he’d died as his head blew back, fountains of blood shooting out of both of his nostrils. Many of the male students awkwardly glanced at one another, as if asking each other if they’d just seen what they thought they’d seen. Katsuki had turned into a raging dog, chastising Mei like Tenya but much more violently, and Shoto had stood up and turned around one-hundred and eighty degrees.


Midnight was howling guffaws of laughter.


Ochaco felt a gaze on her and turned her attention towards her boyfriend, who looked away at the last moment, his face cherry red. She blushed. Was Izuku looking at my boobs?


Momo looked despairingly at the ceiling.


As Midnight slowly got her laughter under control, a shirt flew down from the boys’ rows and landed on top of Mei with good aim. Tenya was now shirtless and tie-less. “Cover up!” he ordered. “It’s not proper for a UA student to bare their cleavage towards the opposite sex so thoughtlessly like that.”


“So it’d be fine if it wasn’t done thoughtlessly, huh?” Mina teased, hands straying to her top button. “Hey, it’s a little warm in here isn’t it?”


“Mina!” Toru gasped. “Have you forgotten that Mineta’s in this room?”


Mina’s expression soured. “Oh yeah, good point. Don’t want to be giving that goblin a free show, now do we? So Iida, did Hatsume’s little flash make you pop a woody?”


“Oh yes!” Mei asked as Tenya sputtered in crimson and sat down, the girl jumping upright with her own shirt only done up midway and Tenya’s much larger shirt on overtop to hide some more, though the way his oversized shirt looked on her and half-veiled the mountains on her chest only seemed to make her look more erotic. “Was my action an appropriate response?” She turned around to face Midnight. “Well, was it?”


“She flashed me her boobs,” Minoru mumbled. “Never thought I’d see the day…”


“Get a hold of yourself, man!” Denki panicked. “Hey guys? I think Mineta’s dying! He lost a lot of blood!”


“He’s fine,” Kamimoto waved off. “If he passes out I’ll take him to the med bay.”


Midnight giggled as she lifted her hand to her chin. “Yes, Hatsume, that is certainly one way to start getting a man aroused. Yaoyorozu…”


“Spare me…”


“...please name another method for causing arousal in a man for me, please.”


“Sucking the glans!” Momo shouted, stating the first thing that she could think of.


Midnight paused, head cocking to the side. “What’s wrong with a kiss, girl? Hm? What’s wrong with a nice kiss to get your man nice and hard and start making that precum, give him a kiss , girl!” She punctuated her final word by cracking her whip an inch away from Momo’s nose. “Give him a kiss! Nibble his ear. Bite the lip. Bare your chest. Smack his buttocks. Lick his nipple. Stroke his thighs. Perform a striptease. Trail your tongue down from his clavicle all the way to his pelvis. Stroke the penis through his clothes while you make out with him. Grind your hips or butt on his pelvis. Wrap his penis between your breasts and use those to stimulate him. You can do all these things before you vacuum the glans in your mouth, Yaoyorozu.”


Momo screwed her eyes shut and clapped her hands over her ears. Hearing Midnight say all of that so quickly, with such intensity. So many different ways in which to make a man erect had her mind going to places where she felt it shouldn’t; to her mother and father together in their bed in the darkness of the night; to those steamy novels she had hidden in her room where the heroines did just those sorts of things. “Mother, please!”


"Oh please, Momo," Midnight replied as the majority of the students whipped their heads between them. "Your father and I have done far worse. This is just the beginning of foreplay."


"I don't want to visualize you and Father engaging in foreplay!" Momo yelled.


"Then don't," Midnight said simply. "Imagine yourself engaging in foreplay with a strapping young man or woman instead."


Momo's mind went back to the brief fantasy she'd imagined yesterday when Ochaco left the gym, of her and Izuku together, inviting her towards them, her lips touching Izuku's, his hands squeezing her breasts, Ochaco's lips peppering her neck and shoulders… then Ochaco moved behind her, the brunette's soft, squishy breasts pressing into her back while the other girl's hands strayed down to her pelvis, which was where Izuku's… 


Redder than a tomato, Momo covered her face with her hands and squirmed in her seat. Dirty thoughts are bad! They're bad when surrounded by my classmates!


"Yaomomo!" Mina gasped. 


"Midnight's your mom!? " Toru exclaimed.


"I never would have guessed," Mashiro commented.


"That's so cool!" Izuku spoke up, turning around on his knees on the couch he and Ochaco were sitting on. His eyes were shining brightly. "You've got an amazing pro hero who's also a UA teacher as a mom! That's amazing, Yaoyorozu!"


And I win the bet , Midnight thought, grinning as Momo stuttered out a response to Izuku's enthusiasm. You're gonna pay up, Shota! "Yes," she answered before the class could get too uproarious. “Little Momo is my adorable daughter. We kept it secret because she wanted to, but since she’s gone and revealed it herself…”


“You’re the worst ,” Momo whined.


Laughing, Midnight simply chuckled. “Oh come now, Momo. It’s a mother’s job to embarrass her daughter. I didn’t think you’d be this embarrassed after I already taught you all of this before.”


“Having this lesson privately and having it with all of my classmates are two very different things, Mother!”


“Tell me, were you thinking about a boy just now?”


Momo’s already crimson face went even redder and a flash of rainbow light appeared from underneath her arm as a small matryoshka doll popped out, coloured green. Kyoka leaned down and picked it up. She frowned at it for a moment before recalling what Momo had said yesterday and mentioned in group chats. She smirked and held it while looking at Momo, wiggling it back and forth in her hand. Looks a lot like Broccoli, doesn't it?


Shut up! Momo threatened with her eyes. Wait, how did I even create that? Isn’t the quirk suppressor on?


“Anyway,” Midnight interrupted Momo’s thoughts. “Enough about your classmate’s family situation. That should be enough ground covered on the male anatomy. Now then, your lovely virgin boys,” Midnight licked her lips and smirked at the males in the audience. “It’s time to test your knowledge of your female classmates’ lady parts. And remember, I will punish you if you do not use proper terminology. This is your last warning.”


She clicked the remote as the boys turned increasingly uncomfortable. The slide changed on the screen, showing an unlabelled diagram of female genitals, which looked far more like it was a picture that had been taken rather than an artist’s rendition for a textbook. She turned on the laser pointer and brought it towards a specific part. “Now then, boys, I’m not going to call for volunteers this time. Kaminari, can you tell me what this is?”


“Uh… is that the clit?”


Kyoka smacked her head into her face. Of all the… Kaminari!


“Incorrect,” Midnight declared. Minoru had his hand raised, eagerly begging for Midnight to call on him so he could unleash his knowledge, but she chose someone else. “Midoriya, perhaps you have the answer?”


Ochaco went bright red as she glanced at her boyfriend, who looked towards Midnight with a determined, completely unembarrassed expression. “Yes! That’s the vaginal opening, or introitus, ma’am.”


Midnight beamed at the confidence in the green-haired boy’s face, not a trace of doubt, anxiety, or embarrassment at all in it. “Very good, Midoriya. Let’s try another one, then. Bakugo, what’s this?”


Katsuki scoffed, his arms folded over his chest, and answered with a disinterested, “The labia majora.”


“Excellent,” Midnight cooed as the girls blinked, glancing between Izuku and Katsuki in surprise. She moved the laser pointer again. “Koda, could you please identify this part?”




“Mmhm, yes, you, Koda,” Midnight confirmed. “If you don’t know, then you don’t know, but if you were to wager a guess, what would this be?”


“U-u-uhm, I don’t feel comfortable answering, Miss Midnight. I mean, I don’t remember.”


“That’s quite all right; that’s why we’re here, to learn. Tokoyami, perhaps you?”


“I would rather not embarrass myself with an incorrect guess, so I also wish to abstain from answering.”


“Kirishima? Tetsutetsu? Do either of you know?”


Both shook their heads.




“The pussy fountain!”




“MINETA! What did I just say about euphemisms!?” 


Minoru recoiled from the whip, which still had been nowhere near him. “B-but I thought that was its name!”


Midnight sighed and held her head in the splayed fingers of her left hand above the remote. “Mineta, for the time being, just take notes and pay attention. If you honestly thought it was called that, then I wonder as to the quality of the education you received. Iida, can you identify the correct name of that area of the vulva?”


Blushing red, Tenya nevertheless rose from his seat, straight-backed. “Yes, ma’am! That’s the urethra.”


“Good. Midoriya, here?”


“The clitoris.”


“And here, Bakugo?”


“Clittoral hood.”




“Labia minora.”


Midnight clapped while Ochaco felt the foundations of her world being shaken. Midnight changed the diagram, but she barely noticed as she stared, frozen, at Izuku. He wasn’t a blushing mess. What was this? This wasn’t what she expected at all! She’d totally forgotten a couple of those names, like labia minora, but Izuku was able to say them by heart without breaking a sweat. Not only him, but Katsuki too!


And now Izuku and Bakugo are talking about the uterus and reproductive cycle like it’s no big deal, she thought about a minute later, as Midnight seemed very impressed with the two boys and was repeatedly asking the two of them her questions on periods and pregnancy, which both boys were answering correctly and in civil tones.


“Typically it’s twenty-two days long, but it varies for every woman,” Katsuki answered. “Sperm can usually live inside the fallopian tubes for about a week, so even if you’re being careful, you could still end up impregnating someone if you let it out inside. Ovulation usually happens two weeks before the period starts, but again, every woman’s a bit different.”


“And the period is when the uterus sheds its nutrient-rich blood lining that it formed in preparation for receiving a fertilized egg,” Izuku added. “And once it’s done shedding that, the cycle starts all over again, though my mom has said that she gets bad cramps and headaches when she has hers.”


“Good boys. What happens to the egg?” Midnight asked.


It was incredibly unsettling to hear Katsuki correct Izuku about whether or not an unfertilized egg is broken down and reabsorbed by the body or is expelled with the blood when the uterine lining is shed after not having fertilized the egg, and not hear Katsuki bark an insult at him while doing so. The students were just going back and forth between them like watching a tennis match, staring in silence at how these two were talking without one of them acting like a rabid dog.


“You sure about that?” Izuku asked. “I thought the egg was just reabsorbed by the body.”


“No, it’s broken down and is shuffled out along with the rest of the period blood,” Katsuki replied. “Am I right, Midnight?”


“Excellent,” she said, nodding her head. “Full marks, Bakugo!”


“Darn,” Izuku muttered. “I always figured it’d be a waste of nutrients if it was just expelled out with the rest of the uterine lining…”


“How do you know all this?” Shoto asked, glancing at Katsuki in surprise.


“Huh? How do you losers not know it?” he asked. “We were tested on this crap in middle school, you know? You all wanted to get into UA, right? It’s only natural that you should know it!”


“I guess Bakugo really does deserve his high class marks,” Mina realized.


“He gets good classroom marks?” Itsuka inquired.


Toru motioned as if the invisible girl was nodding her head. “Yeah! Bakugo was third in the class on our midterm exams, behind only Yaomomo and Iida.”


“Wait, he placed higher than Midoriya and Todoroki?” Itsuka asked.


“Midoriya was fourth and Todoroki was fifth,” Toru answered. “They’re the strongest, most experienced boys in class and they get the top marks. If only Bakugo wasn’t an angry pomeranian and Iida wasn’t a stick-in-the-mud, all four of them would be prime boyfriend material!”


Ochaco finished writing down some notes about periods Midnight was adding on—she didn’t know birth control could make her cramps hurt way less!—and looked at Izuku. “W-wow, Izuku,” she stuttered. “It’s like you know my body better than I do.”


He looked up at her and blushed while rubbing the back of his head. “Y-yeah, I kinda studied this stuff pretty intensely in health class. Along with the crazy dream of being a hero was the even crazier dream of maybe having a girlfriend and later wife one day, ha ha.”


“It was not crazy, neither of them!” Ochaco insisted in a whisper. “You’re an amazing person, Izuku, and you’d have been a great hero even without a quirk! If I’d come to Musutafu a year earlier and gone to your middle school, there’s no way I’d have let you give up, even if All Might never gave you One For All!”




Ochaco froze and turned to look at Midnight, who was giving her an icy smile.


“I’m a fan of youthful romance,” she stated, “but perhaps you should wait until after this class to woo Midoriya, Uraraka, unless you’re volunteering yourself and your boyfriend to come up here and demonstrate what we’re about to talk about.”


“D-d-d-d- demonstrate!? ” Ochaco stammered, her cheeks flushing crimson.


“Yes,” Midnight answered, holding up a little square package and, Where did she get a huge dildo like that from!? “Would you care to come up to the front, please? And be a lamb and bring Midoriya up with you.”


Ochaco could hear Mina’s and Toru’s giggles, Kyoka’s sniggers, Mei’s excited “ooh”s, and Momo’s frantic apologies while a bunch of the boys whistled and tossed good-natured heckles down at them. She tried to will herself to calm down and stop blushing so freaking hard, but that was a little more difficult to do when Midnight was grinning at her like she was.


“Holy crap, what am I gonna do? What’s Miss Midnight going to make us do? She’s not going to make us do things in front of the class is she? She’s not going to make us kiss in front of everyone and demonstrate foreplay, is she?” Izuku was muttering up a storm beside Ochaco, and listening to him mutter helped ease Ochaco’s nerves a little.


Not a lot, just a little.


Taking a deep breath, Ochaco grabbed his hand and tried to ignore the blatant teasing “Oooohs” that erupted from her classmates at the display. Izuku’s muttering stopped at the contact and he looked up at her. Ochaco couldn’t find any words to say, so she just powered through her blush and smiled. Izuku blinked and silently returned that smile, also throwing in a slight nod and a quiet sigh for good measure. Whatever Midnight was going to have them do—which was probably just going to be putting the condom on the dildo or something like that—they would get through this momentary embarrassment together. This would all be something to laugh about at supper tonight.


Izuku and Ochaco stopped in front of Midnight, who gave them an approving nod and a smile at where their hands were still connected. She flicked her fingers that held the wrapper. “This, my lovely class of virgins, is a condom.”


“Wait a minute, Miss Midnight!” Minoru called out, raising his hand. “I actually think you’ve made a mistake.”


“Oh? And what am I mistaken on, Mineta?”


“I don’t think all of us are virgins,” Minoru replied, shrugging and holding his palms up.


Midnight sighed. “Mineta, I believe I already stated that I don’t believe for a moment in the lie about you not being a virgin.”


He shook his head. “Oh no, Miss Midnight, I’m not going to try and convince you of that,” he answered. Minoru paused dramatically before extending his arm and laying out his finger, pointing directly at the duo on stage. “I’m saying that Midoriya ’s the person here who isn’t a virgin!”


Izuku’s face was well on its way to just being permanently red as he flinched and looked up at the assembled first-year UA students. “M-me!? What makes you say that!?”


“Ooh! I must know, what was it like?” Mei shouted, jumping up and leaning forward. “Does that mean Midoriya’s already injected his sperm into some lovely lady? Has Muscles gone and made a baby of his own? Please, Midoriya, tell me all about it, for science!”


“Ochaco!” Mina gasped. “Did you and Midori do the nasty last night? Is that why you never came down and you two looked so damn pleased with yourselves this morning?”


“They were sporting the ‘I just had sex’ look and we never noticed!” Toru screamed. “I’m so jealous! You’ve gotta tell us what it was like!”


Ochaco was just as flustered as her partner. “Wha—? No! We haven’t had sex! I’ve never even seen Deku’s junk!”


“So, how are her ‘assteroids’?” Denki teased. “Soft and squishy or hard and firm?”


“Guys! Cut it out!” Koji begged.


“Yes! This conversation is absolutely disgraceful!” Tenya agreed. “I can’t believe that you’d slander Midoriya’s reputation like that, Mineta!”


“Iida!” Momo countered. “Midoriya is a wonderful person! Whether one is a virgin or isn’t doesn’t make them any more or less virtuous.”


“You sure started crushing on him hard, ribbit,” Tsuyu commented, making Momo bury her face with her hands when she realized just how quickly she jumped to defend Izuku.


“DEKU!” Katsuki shouted above Tenya’s protests. “You’re gonna tell me how a wimpy nerd like you managed to get laid before me! You have five seconds before I kill you!”


"If Midoriya says he didn't, then he didn't!" Kyoka shouted. "What makes any of you think he'd actually be able to lie to us about something like that?"


"He was able to fool us about his quirk for five months," Mezo pointed out. Eyes slowly turned back to Izuku, who grew even more flustered at that very correct fact.


“I didn’t! I’m not!” Izuku shouted back, his eyes slammed shut while his brain whirled around. Sure, he’d seen Ochaco in a towel, and she’d accidentally given him a hard-on yesterday when they were making out, but that was it! He hadn’t done anything else! Ochaco was there when Mei landed on top of him with her big… soft… boobs squishing into his chest, and nothing had happened! The only other time was when—


Lightning lanced through his brain as the Inheritor opened his eyes and glared at Hanta, pointing at him. “Sero! This is all your fault!”


“My fault?” he laughed with a confused grin. “What are you talking abou—”


“You talked!”


A cacophony of gasps, squeals, and explosive roars (including explosions) filled the theatre while Midnight held her hand to her head, shaking it slightly.


“So noisy…” Fumikage complained while Yuga sighed dramatically.


“...Deku.” Izuku froze when he heard his hero name leave Ochaco’s lips. She’d more or less stuck to calling him Izuku since their confession in the medical centre yesterday. Calling him ‘Deku’ now sounded like he was in all sorts of domestic trouble. “What do you mean by that? What did Sero ‘talk’ about?”


Izuku shook his head and looked around, choosing not to answer her at the moment and hoping that it was the correct response. He needed to find a person, one specific person; the only person on this island who could collaborate his story. He found her! Laughing her ass off. “Miss Kamimoto!”


“Hehehe… yes, what’s up, Deku?”


“You’ve seen everything that’s happened to me since I got One For All, right?” Izuku pleaded.


“Well… everything insofar as the show reveals, yes,” she answered. “It’s not like I know every single waking moment of your life since the Sludge Villain attack.”


“But you know and have seen enough, right? You’ve seen the Provisional License Exam, right?”


Kamimoto’s brain clicked as she registered what he was getting at. He wanted her to agree with him that nothing had happened between himself and Camie Utsushimi. She smirked. “Oh? So you want me to spoil that little incident for your classmates, huh?”


“What’s she talking about?” Itsuka asked. She looked at the 1-A girls. “Did something happen during your test?”


Ochaco blinked. Oh yeah, the Licensing Exam, when Sero and I found Izuku with… Her cheeks reddened again. Shiketsu girl, naked, and he said she looked like me…


Her brain was melting, and it had done so far too many times today. “I-I-I-Izuku…” Ochaco stammered. “Y-y-you di-didn’t do it with that girl, did ya? When she looked l-like m-m-meee?”


“No! I swear!” Izuku replied. “Nothing happened!”


“Bullshit!” Minoru countered. “Sero told me ‘n Kaminari that he found you and that babe from Shiketsu behind some rocks, butt naked!”


“I wasn’t naked, she was!” Izuku screamed before the gasps could get too intense. “And it was because of her quirk! She looked like Ochaco and then her appearance and costume melted off of her like candle wax! It was really scary!”


Kamimoto blew on a whistle, silencing the rambunctious teenagers and attracting their attention. “I do know the incident that Deku is talking about,” she said, letting the whistle fall down to where it sat atop her Yoko Littner-themed bikini top. “And while I will confirm that I never saw Deku drop his pants and have a quickie in the middle of the exam, I also cannot recall if the scene didn’t cut to black at any point and skip to show what another member of 1-A was up to. You’ll just have to wait until we get there. However! I do believe Midnight would like to continue the lesson, so would you please leave the question of ‘Is Deku a virgin or not’ until you reach that stage in your viewing? Thank you.”


“Thank you, Miss Kamimoto,” Midnight said with an appreciative nod. “Moving on. This is a condom, and this is a sex toy called a dildo, shaped like a man’s erect penis.” She paused, searching for the looks of discomfort on the students in front of her. Quite a number of the boys and girls were looking away, while Katsuki was watching with terrible posture and what could either be disinterest or bubbling rage under the surface of his skin for the suspicion that Izuku had lost his virginity before him. Or maybe that was just because the skin on his face was pink like Mina’s because of the hair dye that had been mixed into his shampoo.


Midnight tore the wrapper off the little rubber prophylactic. “The original primary purpose of the condom was to prevent undesirable consequences of unprotected sex, specifically the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. A side-benefit was also the prevention of unintentional pregnancies, since the condom will catch the male ejaculate when he achieves orgasm. Uraraka, I would like you and Midoriya to demonstrate how to put the condom on the normal way.”


“W-what!?” Izuku yelped.


“Y-y-you want me to p-put this o-o-o-o-on Iz-Izuku’s… p-p-p-”


Midnight chuckled. “No! No, no, no. That’s what this is for," she said, waving the slightly wobbling toy in front of her. “But I do want Midoriya to hold onto it while you put the condom on it, sweetie.”


Izuku took the, admittedly large, dildo with its flat silicone base and fake scrotum into his hands and awkwardly held it as he looked towards Ochaco, who had received the wrapper from Midnight. He looked down at the item in his hands again, confident that after today, he’d have a permanent blush on his cheeks just like Ochaco, and hers would be even larger than now. Oh God, it’s as green as my hair! He realized, gulping and staring at the toy. “Uh… how should I hold this?” he asked, looking to Midnight for advice before glancing at Ochaco, who seemed to be stretching the… WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE PINK!?


Midnight had the decency not to giggle.. “However you wish. You can stand and hold it upright. Hold it horizontally, hold it near your waist where the man’s penis would normally be, lie on your back and hold it, whatever makes you and Uraraka feel most comfortable. While you’re figuring that out, let me go over some of the diseases that wearing a condom can help prevent transmission of. First off is herpes…”


Ochaco tuned that part out as she approached Izuku. Her heart was hammering in her ears so loudly she swore it was audible to everyone in the theatre. Izuku really didn’t seem to know where he should hold the toy in his hands, and Ochaco wasn’t entirely sure of just how she was supposed to apply the condom on it. She didn’t want to get this wrong. As embarrassing as it was, being up here in front of her class and with Izuku, this was important! If they were ever going to… do it… they’d need to know to make sure she didn’t get dropped from the Hero Course. And he’d probably be dropped too because it’d be his baby too. “Um… Miss Midnight?”


The teacher paused in her train of thought to turn towards her voluntold assistant. “...bacterial vaginosis is not sexy. Yes, Uraraka?”


“Uh… this is embarrassing, but… how do I make sure it’s not on backwards?” Ochaco looked away, feeling her embarrassment in asking such a basic question eat away at her inside.


Midnight’s smile brightened immensely. “Excellent question, Uraraka! I’m glad you’re being courageous enough to ask; a true hero to yourself and your partner.” Momo groaned and buried her face in her hands at her mother’s enthusiasm while Ochaco and Izuku simply continued to exist in their state of being red as beets. “In order to ensure that you’re putting it on correctly, you want the rim to be on the outside, not on the inside, understand?”


Flustered, Ochaco quickly turned it around in her fingers so that she was holding it correctly. “R-right, got it!” Izuku was looking at her with a weak smile as he simply held the toy up, standing vertically at around the level of his sternum and about a foot away from his chest.


“Boo!” Mina catcalled. “Put it by your crotch, Midori! Get on your knees ‘Chaco! You’re not gonna be putting it on like that when you’re in the sack!”


“What if she’s floating him, ribbit?” Tsu asked.


“If she was floating him, then trying to put it on would just make him move to the floor,” Mei answered. “She’d have to be applying pressure to keep him up while also pushing down. I don’t see it happening.”


Denki scratched at his cheek while Midnight told Mina to pipe down. “I don’t envy Midoriya and Uraraka being up there, you guys,” he said quietly, “but… a part of me’s kinda jealous.”


“Jealous of being in embarrassment central?” Rikido inquired.


“N-not that,” he replied awkwardly, “But, you can see it, right? As embarrassing and awkward as it is, doing this in front of everyone, they’re still going through with it. You can really see just how much they trust and like each other.”


“Oui,” Yuga agreed. “It’s a wonder to behold. Their little romance is off to a beautiful start.”


“I wouldn’t call it that,” Hanta chuckled. “If this happened before they became a couple, I’m sure their heads would’ve exploded if Midnight asked Uraraka to put a condom on a fake Midoriya dick.”


The boys who heard him blinked and stared at him. “How do you know it’s based off Midoriya’s?” Minoru asked.


Hanta pointed. “Well it’s green, ain’t it? Just like his hair and hero costume.”


It was like a lightning bolt ran through the theatre at Hanta's ironclad logic.


Neito felt liquid fire run through his veins. He did not have a micropenis like a certain inventor and ginger had commented earlier, thank you very much, but there was no way that the daredevil selfless idiot was that much bigger than him! Just no way! Nu-uh! Impossible! He’d already inherited All Might’s quirk and been the first among the first-years to start a romantic relationship. Izuku did not need to also be packing a massive package!


“I’ve got it!” Ochaco declared, turning towards Midnight. “This is right, right?”


Midnight inspected her work. “Yes! Very good, Uraraka! That's exactly right. You’ll do good when you need to do that for real.” Ochaco turned red as she thought about it, recalling what she had overheard Izuku mutter, and held her hands in front of her while looking down. “Now,” Midnight took the condom off the toy and handed the rubber to Izuku, “your turn, Midoriya. You’ll need to know how to do this too.” 


“M-me?” Izuku asked.


“Well, this is modeled after you after all,” Midnight said, the toy flopping in front of her as she held it. “You more than anyone would need to know how to put it on. You have the penis in this relationship.”


Momo felt her face heat up at the implication. She and the other girls all had huge blushes on their faces, while Mei blurted out, “Is it to scale!?”


Kyoka felt herself panic as she heard the other girl's break out in sweats. Momo had fucking squeaked like a tiny mouse at what Midnight and Mei just said. “Oh fuck ,” she whispered to herself, hoping to drown out the sound of her own heartbeat.


“It’s certainly possible,” Midnight answered with a teasing tone, “but even if it isn’t, the condom probably wouldn’t have broken anyway, these things can stretch. However, you’ve all been eyeing this pretty intensely. You can always ask Momo to make you one.”


Momo leapt to her feet at the implication. “I have never made anything like that before!” Momo argued with her mother before the girls got the idea that she was the one who Midnight got it from.


“Oh of course not,” Midnight answered her. “Not in green anyway.”


So this is how I die, Momo thought as she felt her jaw tremble, her mother’s teasing eyes piercing her soul and cutting her down. She knew! As hard as Momo had tried to hide them, if her mother had found the smutty trashy romance novels, then she had surely found the small collection of ‘relaxation’ aides Momo had created since she was thirteen and totally accidentally stumbled upon those websites that she should not have been permitted entry to. My own mother kills me through sheer embarrassment. Don’t be surprised, Momo, you knew that this was how it was going to end with Mother being Midnight.


MOTHER! ” she wailed.


“Um, Miss Midnight,” Izuku spoke up, his voice still unsteady. “Could you, maybe, tone down teasing Yaoyorozu a bit? This class is awkward enough as it is.”


Momo looked up at him, her knight in shining armour! “Midoriya…”


Ochaco chuckled a little to try and dispel her own tension. “Yeah. It’s hard enough for us. I can’t imagine what it would be like for Yaomomo, since she’s your daughter and everything.”


The daughter of Midnight shifted her gaze to the brunette in front of them all, also standing up for her, and feeling a lump in her throat. She was coming to her rescue too, Uraraka...


“Also, how am I supposed to put this on?” Izuku asked, holding the pink condom that Midnight had passed to him. “If I need to hold onto the… d-d-d… toy and the condom, I won’t have enough hands. I can’t ask Ochaco to hold it, because then it’d be like I’m putting it on someone else and that’s not what I’d be doing.”


“I guess you’ll just have to put it on yourself, then!” Neito shouted. “Come on, Midoriya! Is that toy really based off of you! You can’t really be packing that much heat, can you?”


“Midoriya doesn’t have to show us anything!” Tenya retorted. “There will be no dropping of trousers and stripping of underwear in this theatre!”


“Don’t stifle my scientific curiosity!” Mei countered. “I must ensure Midoriya’s hero costume fits properly!”


Yuga scratched his cheek. “To be honest, I’m a little bit interested, myself. Midoriya has always been somewhat shy in the locker rooms.”

“Get a hold of yourself, Sparkles!” Katsuki scoffed, but he was only one of a few that were irritated. The girls, and several of the boys, were sporting at least some redness in their cheeks.


“Ahem!” Midnight interrupted them. “Perhaps I should clarify. When I told Midoriya that this was modeled after him, I did not mean him specifically. I meant that it was modeled after him in the sense that he is genetically male and has the set of male reproductive organs. I did not mean to imply that this toy was a 1:1 scale reproduction of Midoriya’s own physiology. To answer your question, Midoriya, you are correct, but if you simply treat this as a classroom lesson I am confident you can overcome it. Additionally, it is a mother’s sacred duty to tease her daughter. Do not try to take that away from me, unless you also plan on taking her away from me. In which case, I request a beach wedding in Okinawa.”


“M-mother!” Momo groaned. “Please, could you stop?”


Midnight sighed. “Very well, then. Midoriya, Uraraka, you may retake your seats. As our resident couple aptly demonstrated, that is how you properly place a condom on a penis the normal way. Now, allow me to demonstrate a very improper, but very fun way of applying a condom to the male genitalia. I do not recommend any of you attempting this until you are quite experienced in the sexual arts” Midnight licked her lips as she retrieved a fresh condom from a wrapper and placed the device in her mouth.


The class could tell something downright nasty was about to happen as Midnight opened her mouth and placed the tip of the silicone dildo against her lips. The fake penis slipped past, and inch by inch disappeared into Midnight’s mouth and into her bulging throat. Momo felt her face explode, and she wasn’t the only one, but none of them could tear their gazes away from what Midnight was doing. The majority of the boys started to hunch over, hiding what Midnight’s display was doing to them and Izuku made damn sure that his notebook was covering his lap because man oh man he did not think that the R-Rated Hero would really go and do that in front of a pack of teenagers during a sex ed class!


Minoru bit his lip as he tried to contain himself. This was really happening, this was happening right in front of him! Midnight was deepthroating a huge dildo to show them how to apply a condom. It was like one of his fantasies had come to life before his very eyes. He was definitely going to have fap material tonight, burning this image into his brain! It was too hot! It was…


It was too hot.


Minoru’s head shot back like a rocket as twin geysers of blood shot from his nostrils and he fell back into his seat, unconscious. “Mineta!” Denki gasped. “Hang on, man, hang on! You still haven’t gone on a date yet!”


“He’s fine,” Kamimoto assured him. “Nobody’s permitted to die on this island, they just get really big boo-boos. He can sleep it off.”


Midnight withdrew the toy from her mouth, showcasing the green sex aide covered in the pink condom again, this time glistening and slathered with her saliva and the mucus that lined her throat. The pro hero licked her lips as she said, “Once again, I do not condone trying this until you are experienced . You could very well screw it up and accidentally choke on the condom, but it is a very fun way of applying protection to your partner to ensure safe sex.”


“Midoriya…” the young man turned his head when he heard Momo’s pained voice calling to him, and she gave him the most pitying look as she said, “when this is over, please smash me.”


For about five seconds there was total silence in the theatre before Midnight placed her hands on her cheeks and squealed. “Momo! I’m so proud of you. My how bold of you.”


“Y-Yaoyorozu!” Izuku yelped.


“If Izuku’s smashin’ anyone, I’m first in line, Yaomomo,” Ochaco declared, gripping Izuku’s arm even as her face went red as a beet.


“Mm… put me in line after Yaomomo,” Mina giggled. “I wouldn’t mind having those clenching buttcheeks smashing me.”


Momo jumped to her feet, waving her arms around. “Not like that! I didn’t mean it like that! I meant when this is over please smash my head in with a superpowered punch!”


Kyoka laughed. “Too late, Yaomomo, we’ve already decided on what you meant.”




“And too bad for you, Yaoyorozu,” Hanta chuckled. “Miss Kamimoto already said that we can’t die here, so if you were hoping he’d put you out of your misery, you’re out of luck.”


Mezo raised his arm. “Uh, Miss, er… Mrs. Midnight, if I can call you that since you’re married?”


“Yes Shoji?” the teacher asked, smiling broadly.


He pointed to one of the young men sitting near him. “I think Iida’s gone catatonic.”


Attention shifted towards Class 1-A’s current representative, and they all saw him slouched back, head resting on the back of the couch, mouth open with what looked to be foam coming out of it. Katsuki tisked. “Lightweight. Couldn’t even handle a sex ed class. How sheltered is he if even fuckin’ Deku hasn’t passed out from shock?”


Shoto glanced away, his own blush lighting up his cheeks. “I still don’t think that Midnight should have done that.”


“Would this make Midoriya even more fit to be class rep, then?” Toru asked.


“I don’t see how not passing out when seeing a teacher, who’s also the mother of one of our classmates, do that counts as being class rep material,” Mashiro commented, Koji nodding his head.


“It’s just one of the things a loving wife does for her husband,” Midnight giggled. “He loves it when I do that and I love that he loves it.”


“Mother! I did not need to hear that! Now I need to bleach my eyes out!”


So this is what it’s like having Midnight for a mom, Ochaco thought, sitting back down in her seat now that she understood Momo’s slip-up. Stay strong, Momo, stay strong. She turned to look at Izuku, who seemed to be frozen in place. “Izuku?”


The sound of her voice jolted him out of whatever reverie he had been stuck in. He hadn’t even been muttering. “Wha! Uraraka!?”


“You okay?” she asked. “You kinda froze up on me.”


“Oh… uh...:”


Itsuka grinned. “I’ll bet he was too busy thinking about ‘smashing’ you and Yaoyorozu, Uraraka,” she teased.


“You know, some of you did just admit to wanting to have sex with Midoriya,” Ejiro commented, lightly scratching his cheek and blushing.


Mei hummed and giggled. “I wouldn’t mind at all for research purposes. Hey, Midnight! How does the whole sex thing actually work? It can’t just be insert rod into slot, right?”


Izuku collapsed into his seat at Mei’s giggles behind him, his face practically on fire. This couldn't be real, this all had to be some kind of fever dream brought on by stress from seeing Shigaraki and Nomu again at the USJ. He had passed out during the last episode from the adrenaline rush of watching All Might knock Nomu into the sky and now he was hallucinating that four girls (technically three) had said they wanted him to ‘smash’ them, and one of them was Ochaco. She couldn’t have possibly said that; they’d only confessed that they’d liked each other last night, it was impossible that she wanted to have sex with him!


Ochaco, meanwhile, had buried her face into her hands, not even noticing the force of gravity leaving her as she started to float away. FUCK! How could ya jus’ go an’ say THAT , Ochaco!? Tellin’ Izuku ya want him to ‘smash’ ya? What is wrong with ya? There’s no way you’re that fuckin’ thirsty for him, is there? Oh no… this class was totally a bad idea.


“Ochaco’s floating,” Mina cackled. “Tsu?”


“Ribbit,” the froggy girl replied, sticking out her tongue and wrapping it around Ochaco’s waist before reeling her back in. Huh, it worked that time.


Tetsutetsu frowned and looked down at his hand. It took a little bit more effort than usual, but he was able to turn it into steel like normal. “I thought the quirk inhibitor was on.”


“All right, calm down virgins and Midoriya,” Midnight said, clapping her hands. “It’s time to move on. We got a little distracted from what we were discussing, but for the most part, so long as you use protection and know the sexual history of your partner, you should be able to avoid contracting most, if not all, STDs. Next up…” she clicked the remote a few times, rapidly shifting through slides showing images of the symptoms of STDs affecting both male and female genitals until it stopped on a slide with a single word on it.


“Foreplay!” Midnight declared. “Who can tell me the purpose of foreplay?”


Of the students who were still awake, a few shifted nervously, but Mashiro raised his hand and was called upon. “It’s, uh, to ready both partners for having sex.”


“Correct,” Midnight replied. “Anyone else?”


Tsuyu let down Ochaco as the gravity hero disengaged her quirk’s effect on herself while Momo tentatively raised her hand. She was still wracked by nerves after everything her mother had done so far, but she felt like she needed to redeem herself after being scolded earlier. Midnight’s eyes zoomed in on hers, the smile on her mother’s face sending tingles down her spine. The waiting for her to be called on was agonizing, as if Midnight was waiting for someone else to raise their hand to volunteer as tribute, or to just heighten Momo’s anxiety. “Momo?”


Finally! She let out a breath before inhaling to formulate an answer. “Yes ma’am, foreplay can also be a time to deepen emotional bonds between two people, even if it doesn’t lead to sexual intercourse.”


Midnight nodded at her. “Correct as well, very good.” Momo sighed with relief at not having been subjected to another teasing arrow through her chest. “Foreplay, as so aptly put by your peers, is a time for both deepening emotional bonds between two partners in a relationship as well as preparing each other for sexual intercourse. This involves inducing the female to produce vaginal juices and getting the blood flowing into the man’s penis causing it to enlarge and har-den, as well as begin producing precum as we discussed before, something I’m sure all of you are very familiar with at this point.” She winked and blushes shot to the faces of the students like they were doing the wave. Even Katsuki sported one through his currently dyed pink cheeks.


“Now then, I would like you all to brainstorm different things that you can do as part of foreplay. You don’t have to differentiate by gender, but I would like one thing from each of you on what you could do with your imagined partner to stimulate them and prepare them for sexual intercourse. Let’s start with the boys. Shoji, could you please see if Iida is willing to wake up again? If not, we’ll take the fact that he’s still shirtless as being his answer.”


Mezo glanced at Tenya, seeing the blue-haired young man was still out after having witnessed Midnight’s display. Realizing what they were going to be getting into, he returned his gaze to Midnight. “Uh… I think I’ll let him sleep a bit.”


“Very well, Iida says to strip off your shirt and reveal some skin to your partner. Shoji?”


The youngest member of Class 1-A blushed as he did not expect—although he really should have—to be called upon immediately. “Um, whispering something sexy in their ear?”


“Excellent!” Midnight beamed. “Bakugo?”


“Spankin’ their naughty ass,” he answered her.


“A bit rough for a start, but good answer,” Midnight stated with a nod. “Kirishima?”


He rubbed the back of his head and glanced down sheepishly. For a brief moment, he felt his eyes meet Mina’s, and Eijiro quickly looked away from her. “U-uh… giving her a kiss?”


“Just the thing to start getting her in the mood! Ojiro?”


Mashiro scratched at his cheek. “Helping undress her?”


“Always a fun thing to get the heart pounding. Keep it up boys, Tokoyami?”


The bird-headed boy lowered his gaze to meet Midnight’s. “Dancing.”


“Ooh,” Midnight cooed, “quite the romantic choice. I like that. Sato?”


“Well, uh… massaging the breasts, I guess.”


“Good, good. Either through clothes or without them in the way, but it may take some coaching from your partner to know how she likes them handled. You’re not kneading dough, after all. Aoyama?”


“Kissing the nipple?” Yuga suggested, seemingly less embarrassed now.


“Excellent! Another! Tetsutetsu?”


“Sparring!” the man of steel answered.


“Manly!” Eijiro cheered.


Midnight quirked an eyebrow. “Sparring?”


“Yeah,” Tetsutetsu replied. “Don’t some people get turned on fighting? Couldn’t a good old-fashioned sparring match be a good bit of foreplay?”


Nodding her head, Midnight replied, “A bit of an unorthodox answer, but it can check out with the right person. Monoma!”


“Stroking the clitoris,” he offered.


“Now we’re getting there. Todoroki?”


He stared at Midnight. “Feeding them cherries.”


Silence overtook the room for a moment and Shoto glanced around. “What? Why has no one else mentioned cherries? Didn’t they have something to do with this?”


Midnight controlled her giggles while some of the boy’s peers were unable to keep a lid on theirs. “That’s a misunderstanding, Todoroki,” she explained. “Recall when Bakugo mentioned the hymen when we were going over female anatomy? In most of your female peers, they’ve likely already broken theirs because of the actions involved in their training, and it’s different in every woman, but quite often the hymen will tear and bleed when a woman has her first sexual experience. That blood is what is referred to when people colloquially speak about ‘popping a girl’s cherry’ and is meant to reflect being a woman’s first partner and taking their virginity. It’s also used for men as well, where a ‘cherry boy’ is a male who hasn’t yet had sex themselves.”


Shoto’s eyes widened. “So when I called Bakugo ‘Cherry Popper’ and said Midoriya should be able to burst Uraraka’s cherries without any problem earlier…”


It was like a repeat of that morning watching the battle between bitter foes and being distracted by so many attempts at coming up with a hero name for Katsuki, except this time even those who had held in their laughter couldn’t. Shoto turned as red as the cherries he’d been talking about while Izuku and Ochaco, blushing like mad, couldn’t manage to keep their faces straight amidst the piles of laughter all around them and ended up in giggle fits of their own. Few could even hear Shoto’s mumbled apologies.


When the class finally managed to get themselves under control, Midnight decreed for them to move onto the next person in line, Koji. Far more comfortable in the situation after everyone had had a good laugh, the normally quiet boy spoke up with his suggested act for foreplay. “Rubbing the thighs.”


“Good, good. Sero?”


“Uh, well…” Hanta started. “I don’t know if this counts or not, but does bondage play count as foreplay?”


“Absolutely!” Midnight answered with shining eyes. “We’ll get more into that later, but that can absolutely be a wonderfully sexy and arousing prelude to sex. Some of the best times with by husband were when—”


“Mother, no!” Momo screamed.


“Midnight, yes!” Mei countered. “Tell us!”


“Yeah, tell us!” Toru joined in.


Midnight laughed. “I think if I did my poor daughter would spontaneously combust,” she answered. “So how about we save those sorts of questions until after dinner, okay? Kaminari, you next. Give us an example of foreplay on your partner.”


“Oh, uh, well…” Denki started. He chuckled nervously and looked up and away before bringing his gaze down to somewhere in front of his knees. “I’ve kinda thought about… fingering the pu—I mean vagina and using my quirk to make a very faint electric current from my fingertips.”


“Ooh,” Midnight wasn’t the only one to express surprise at Denki’s admission.


“Kinky,” Mina teased, grinning at her friend one row above him.


How would… Kyoka started to think before she quickly shook her head to dispel the thought before it finished.


“Midoriya, you’re up,” Midnight stated, turning to look to the boy in front.


“M-me!?” he asked. “I thought Mineta or Yaoyorozu would be next!”


“Mineta’s unconscious and the boys are up first,” Midnight replied simply. “You’re the last of the boys, and you have experience, correct?”


“No I don’t! I…” Izuku sighed. He bit his lip. He’d been thinking about what it was he was going to answer with since the rest of the boys had started. While he hadn’t been expecting to go right away, he was at least thankful that he wasn’t the absolutely last person to be called upon; that would have been more pressure than he knew what to deal with. Fortunately, he did have his answer.


Ochaco and most of the rest of the students watched him closely. “Well, uh… complimenting her?”


“Could you clarify a bit?” Midnight asked. “Do you mean dirty talk in telling your partner how sexy they are or what they do to you or something else?”


Izuku shook his head. “Maybe a bit, I guess? I was more thinking of… well, saying how brightly their eyes shine when they’re happy, or how their smile warms up the whole room and gives me strength, or how nice her hair smells and how soft and gentle her touch is…”


Ochaco felt like she was the one who was about to combust as Izuku openly complimented her in front of her entire class. Her heart pounded, even as she felt her eyes softening while her body flooded with warmth. It was taking all of her willpower not to put her hands to her cheeks and start floating again, even though that really shouldn’t be possible because of the quirk inhibitor that Kamimoto had once again implemented. Izuku…  


Midnight smiled. “Ah, I see. Well, it seems to be having its intended effect.” Izuku stopped talking and Midnight gestured with a slight wave towards Ochaco, who was blushing up a storm and looking bashfully at her boyfriend. She had her fingers curled up on her knees, trying to keep them in place instead of doing something with them. Izuku gulped, wondering just what that something could be.




“Dummy,” she mumbled. “Complimentin’ me like that in front of everyone. It’s embarrassin’, Izuku.”


He went red at the shy tone in her voice as she not-scolded him. “I… I just, just said what I felt.”


It took a second for Ochaco to register what he said, and another second for her to lose her grip on the restraints holding her back and just lean in and kiss him, present company be damned. They already shared their first kiss in front of everyone, and they’d been flirting and feeding each other in the buffet hall. Kissing during Midnight’s sex ed class was hardly a big leap.


Tsuyu chuckled as Izuku’s hands struggled with finding something to do while Ochaco was on top of him before settling on holding her shoulders and upper back. “You’re such a ladykiller, Midoriya.”


“Whoop! Whoop!” Itsuka teased as numerous other catcalls and whistles started up from their classmates.


“Keep it in your pants!”


“Way to go, tiger!”


“You get him, ‘Chaco!”


“And so they ascend the staircase to adulthood.”


“Good thing Iida’s out, or he’d be lost between being happy for them and having a fit.”


“I must watch this! I feel something new inside of me, it’s interesting! I require more data!”


Midnight clapped her hands, though that didn’t seem to stop Ochaco from continuing to kiss Izuku as she now lay atop him on the couch in front of her. “That’s it for the boys. Ladies, I know I already gave quite a few examples a little while ago, but now it’s time for you all to list some examples of your own for foreplay. These can either be things to get your partner aroused or what you’d perhaps like your partner to do to you to get you in the mood. Let’s start with you, Uraraka.”


Ochaco barely heard Midnight, but she still heard her nonetheless. Never breaking her eye contact from the emerald jewels set into his face, she brought her hand away from his cheek and towards the messy curls that topped his head. “Carding my hand through his hair,” she said, her fingers doing just that. Izuku groaned beneath her, the action both stirring up something inside of him while also putting his mind at ease. It was… nice; more than nice. He pushed his head into her hand, non-verbally telling her to keep doing it.


Nodding, Midnight spoke up for those in the back who may not have heard. “Petting. Very nice. Momo? And do not stampede towards the glans again, please.” Momo didn’t respond to her call, and she could see why. The poor girl had one of her hands raised so that it was at her chin, her fingers curling up and covering her mouth. She was watching what was happening in the front row even more intensely than Mei was. “Momo…?” Midnight sighed and reached for her whip. “Yaoyorozu!!”




“Y-yes!” The startled daughter snapped back towards her teacher.


“What do you want to do or have done to you for foreplay?”


“That’s none of your business, Mother!” Momo snapped.


Midnight frowned. “Yaoyorozu, I may be your mother, but I am also your teacher. All of the boys have shared examples of things to do to entice arousal in a sexual partner even if it may have made them uncomfortable. This is an excellent opportunity to better know and bond with your friends and peers. Now please, share an example with the rest of the class on an act that could be part of foreplay to get prepared for proper intercourse. You can name a generic act, something you would like to perform on a partner, or something you would like to have done to you.”


Momo glanced down to the right again, away from Midnight and to where Ochaco was still on top of Izuku, the two of them seemingly lost in their own world and gently holding one another and sharing light kisses. Ochaco’s head was hiding Izuku’s face from her, but she could imagine the look in his eyes. That kind light and tender affection, slowly being replaced by a wild lust, a lust for her. For Momo’s curves, to drown in her tits and squeeze her ass, as the fire that she’d often seen in Ochaco’s eyes during training was fixed on her while the shorter girl pressed up against her back, hands coming to her front, gripping at her clothes…


The whip cracked again as she stalled. “Yaoyorozu!”


“Using my quirk to make sexy outfits and lingerie, and then having them ripped and torn from my body!” Momo shouted.


Kyoka chuckled after a moment of silence. “Hot damn, you really have started to like big strength broccoli, haven’t you?” She wiggled the matryoshka doll in her hand again.




I want to die, Momo thought. I seriously want to die. How can I face everyone now, knowing that I want to have my clothes ripped from my body?


“Jiro,” Midnight prompted.


Caught off-guard after her ribbing of Momo, especially since Midnight didn’t say anything to tease Momo about what she’d just admitted, Kyoka stuttered for a moment before blushing and looking away. “I guess, French kissing?”


“Excellent! Miss Ashido, if you please?”


She giggled. “I think you already covered most of mine for things I’d do to a boy,” she answered, and then smiled. “But if I had to say something that a boy could do to me to make me wet, and this is just me, but uh…” she began to blush. “My horns are… sensitive and not to toot my own horn or anything but doing stuff to my horns makes me a very horny girl.”


Eijiro gulped. Ashido’s horns, huh…


“And for you, Hagakure?”


“Ever heard of the invisible handjob?” Toru asked in response.


“Ah yes, I suppose that would be a specialty of yours, wouldn’t it?” Midnight giggled.


Toru immediately felt flustered as Midnight eyed her with a sultry expression. “Not that I’ve ever done that or anything! It’s just… something I’ve thought about.”


“Quite understandable, given your quirk. Miss Hatsume, how about you? And please no flashing the boys again.”


“Oh that’s easy,” she giggled, still wrapped up in Tenya’s shirt as well as her own. “Running up and hugging them from behind or landing on top of them. That’ll get them up. Midoriya reacted that way in the hallway in front of the design studio about a couple of weeks back, I think.”


“Wait, what!?” Denki exclaimed.


“Yeah,” Mei replied. “One of my babies exploded when I was testing it and it blew the doors open. I landed on top of Midoriya and after a few seconds I could feel something poking me. Didn’t realize that that was his penis until today, though.”


Midnight nodded. “Nearly at the end now. Asui, and then Kendo. What are your thoughts?”


“Between what you said earlier and what everyone else has said, I can’t think of anything else, ribbit,” Tsuyu commented. “So I’m sorry, but I don’t have an answer for you. Oh, wait. Cunnilingus hasn’t been mentioned yet, that counts as foreplay, right?”


“Cunni-what?” Denki asked.


“She means eating a girl out, dipshit,” Katsuki told him.


“Oh!” Denki grinned and gave Katsuki a thumbs-up. “Thanks man.”


"Tch. Yeah, whatever. It should be whoever ends up your girlfriend who thanks me."


“Cunnilingus, huh?” Toru wondered.


Heeeeey Tsu,” Mina spoke with a saccharine voice, “just how long is your tongue?”


“Ribbit!” Tsuyu croaked, her cheeks turning a rosy pink.


“And it’s really thick and flexible, right?” Kyoka asked.


Mistakes have been made, Tsuyu realized too late. I’m in danger.


Midnight moved her gaze to Itsuka, who blushed. “Well, uh, what about taking a bath or shower together?” she asked. “Especially after doing something to work up a sweat?”


Clapping her hands, Midnight beamed at them all. “Excellent! Well done, everyone. Yes, all of those are wonderful examples of acts that could be performed during foreplay to get yourself and your partner in the mood for some tender lovemaking or just good, naughty fun to deepen those bonds between you.”


Fumikage frowned, sighed, and lowered his head. “Is all the flirtation really necessary?”


Mina raised her hand. “Oh! Miss Midnight! I have a question I just remembered.”


“Yes, Ashido. What is it?”


Mina lowered her hand. “So, uh, I’m pretty sure that my mom is full of shit, but she told me when I was thirteen that I was allergic to semen. Is that true?”


Midnight felt her eye twitch. “While I don’t know your specific medical history, Ashido, I can tell you that it’s quite possible to be allergic to pretty much anything, even being allergic to specific proteins in your own sweat. So while it is possible that you could be allergic to a component within semen, I would also say that it is probably highly, highly unlikely. How does your mother know that you’re allergic to semen?”


“She said she got me tested for semen allergy when I was four and was having me tested for peanut allergy.”


More than one person laughed or attempted to stifle it while Midnight sighed. “Yes, Ashido, your mother is full of shit and was likely trying to scare you away from becoming sexually active. There is no way she would have tested a four-year-old for a semen allergy.”


“She should have just kept you away from boats the whole time, then,” Hanta chuckled.


Mina laughed. “I know, right? Thanks Miss Midnight! I was sure she was just blowing smoke but I wanted your opinion.”


“Anytime, Miss Ashido. Any questions?” Midnight asked, clicking the remote again, slowly slipping through slides. “Any questions on foreplay?” Silence. “Very well then, let us move on. Uraraka, Midoriya, you can stop that now.” The class couple stopped their kissing, finding it very easy for them to separate once they remembered that they had just been making out for the past couple of minutes in full view of their teacher and at least a portion of their classmates. They jumped off each other as if they’d been scalded, and quickly brought their hands to their clothes, straightening them up once again and tightening their loosened ties.


I can’t believe I just did that! Ochaco thought to herself. Makin’ out in front of everyone like that. She rubbed her thighs together as she smoothed out her skirt.


Izuku placed his notebook over his lap again. Holy whoa! How could I do that, and in front of Midnight and everyone? I should die. Yeah, that’s it, I should just end my life and die! No, you can’t do that, Izuku! What would Mom think? You can’t just get a girlfriend and then die of embarrassment before you can even introduce her to Mom!


But she’ll show Ochaco baby pictures!


I’m sure Ochaco’s parents will show baby pictures of her!


Oh gosh, right! She’d look so cute as a kid! I’ve gotta live long enough to see those, at least!


Midnight looked back and forth between Izuku and Ochaco, who both seemed to have calmed themselves down. “Our next topic of conversation to cover, then, will be something I’m sure many of you are at least passingly familiar with.” She clicked the remote once more, and one word became emblazoned on the screen above an image of what looked to be a video cover, in which a woman who looked an awful lot like Midnight was posing for the camera surrounded by three hulking shirtless men, one of whom had a mutation quirk that made him seem like an anthropomorphic German Shepherd. The Midnight look-alike had her hands at the crotches of their jeans and was giving the camera a sultry smile.


“Pornography!” Midnight declared. “As part of this, we’ll be discussing kinks, positions, fetishes, and the differences between porn and real life. Keep your hands to yourselves, virgins and Midoriya, because this is the part where things get…” Midnight moaned. “… intense .”


“Hey, uh… Yaoyorozu…” Rikido spoke up. “That picture…?” He trailed off, not finding the confidence to finish the question.


Yuga coughed. “It wouldn’t happen to actually be Midnight, would it?” His voice came out quite near to a squeak at the end of his line, and the eyes of the class glanced between the image on the screen, Midnight’s smirking face, and Momo’s panicking expression.


“N-no! It’s not!” Momo replied. “A-at least, I don’t think… Mother! Please tell me that that isn’t you!”


Midnight waved. “Nothing to worry about there, Momo, I’m not the performer in this video. The only videos of me engaging in sex are private affairs between myself and your father, but that leads into this discussion. What is real and what is fake about pornography. Please, wake up Iida and Mineta again. It was a shame they missed our last discussion, but I believe that this is a subject that we really should have the two of them awake and cognizant for.”


“Aw… can’t we just keep Mineta unconscious?” Toru whined.


“For like, forever?” Kyoka agreed.


Midnight shook her head as Denki shook Minoru awake and Mezo managed to rouse Tenya. “Now, now ladies, he may be a little perverted, but your classmate Mineta is simply the most open and honest about his desires. It is a tad obsessive, but I’m sure most of your classmates, including those you think to be the most innocent, could be just as dirty-minded as he is and just hide those desires. Just as he has openly declared his desire to see you ladies in all your natural glory, I’m sure all of you have thought about or spoken to each other about checking out your male classmates’ bodies. Hmm?” The girls shifted awkwardly about that. Truly, they had talked about that kind of stuff, and went into it at length in their girls’ chat the previous night, especially about one particular male student. The thirst was real; Minoru was just the only boy who was completely open about his desires.


Besides, it wasn’t as if none of them had… appreciated the eye candy of seeing Izuku shirtless and muscled up after All Might’s ten months of pre-UA training…


Minoru shook his head awake. “I feel a little woozy. What are we talkin’ about again?” he asked Denki before looking towards the screen, which was currently blank.


“You kinda lost a lot of blood and passed out when Midnight showed us an… interesting way to put on a condom,” Denki told him. “Try not to get too excited, dude. Miss Kamimoto said that we may not be able to die here, but I don’t wanna think of what would happen if you lose too much blood.”


“That may be difficult,” Hanta said, grinning at Minoru with an evil gleam in his eye as he rubbed his chin. “Midnight just said that we’re gonna be covering porn next. Given the way this has been going, I’m sure it’ll be rated triple X.”




Midnight smiled as Tenya stopped himself, seeing that the prop was nowhere to be seen anymore and the screen was currently just a white sheet. “What was inappropriate, class rep?”


Tenya coughed as he struggled to get his bearings. “M-my apologies, ma’am,” he said, his volume much more reasonable now. “I seem to have hallucinated a bit. I thought… nevermind. By the way, has anyone seen my shirt? Why am I shirtless?”


Mei giggled. “Because it’s on me, Legs!” she cackled. “Don’t you remember? You threw it at me when I undid my own shirt!”


Tsuyu grinned a little. “Do you want it back right away, Iida? I’m sure it smells a bit like Hatsume right now.”


“Savage Tsu!” Mina chuckled as Tenya went white.


“I don’t mind,” Mei replied. She started unbuttoning the too-big-for-her shirt. “I kinda liked the smell of whatever cologne he was using.”


“Wait, hang on,” Tenya said from above. “I don’t wear cologne!” Mei paused in unbuttoning the shirt for a moment.


“Oh, so that must be his musk , then,” Mina giggled.


Itsuka looked at Mei on the other end of the couch she, Tsuyu, and the inventor were sharing. “Hatsume? Something wrong?”


Mei didn’t appear to hear her, and she brought the collar of the shirt up to her face, and took in a deep sniff. “So this is Iida’s scent, then…?” she whispered quietly. “I should remember it.”


Tenya looked away, not meeting Tsuyu’s eyes, or anyone’s. “N-no, it’s all right,” he said. “I can wait until later to have it returned. I just wanted to make sure I knew where it was, that’s all.” He sat back down next to Mezo.


Ochaco shared a look with Izuku. They were far from being ‘love experts’, given Ochaco’s denial of her own feelings to try not to burden Izuku with them while he struggled towards their shared goal of becoming heroes as he worked under the weighty legacy of One For All and Izuku’s crushing esteem issues making him feel like no one could ever possibly want to date him. However, at this moment, both of them came to the same conclusion.


We should totally try to get Iida to confess to Hatsume before we leave this island!


Mei left the shirt somewhat unbuttoned as Midnight got their attention again. “Let’s begin. Unlike the previous sections of this class, this one will be more open discussion and free-flowing, however, there are some things I would like to ensure that we cover, so we’ll start with them.” Midnight clicked the remote, and the blank screen changed to something that turned every youth’s head tomato-red.


“MOTHER!” Momo screamed.


“Oh God, we interned with her!” Itsuka gasped.




“Damn!” Denki chuckled.


“I cannot imagine that this darkness of the adult work is in any way appropriate for us to be viewing,” Fumikage uttered.


Eijiro nodded, glancing back and forth. “It’s not very manly, but this is a class, so…”


“You could always look away,” Katsuki commented. “Don’t see what all the fuss is about.”


Minoru perked up. “Dost mine ears deceive me? Is Bakugo actually a pervert too?”


“Shut up, you grape moron,” Katsuki barked. “I just don’t know why all you extras are makin’ such a big fuss over it! So what if Uwabami does this shit on the side and why are you getting so bent outta shape over it? She’s a lame hero and it’s just fuckin’ porn. Even if we’re not eighteen we’ve all seen it. It’s not like it’s fuckin’ difficult to tell a website that you’re over eighteen; it’s not asking for photo ID or anything. Hell, I’m sure even Deku’s seen it! He’s probably got a bunch of magazines hidden at home with spreads of Pop☆Step or those cat ladies Pixie-Bob and Mandalay.”


Ochaco froze and turned to look at Izuku. “Bakugo’s not telling the truth, is he?”


“What?” Izuku asked. “No, of course not!” He wasn’t meeting Ochaco’s eyes. “He’s never been in my room since we were little kids, and what does it matter if a Hero magazine has a Cow Lady centrefold anyway?”


That was not the correct thing to reply with.


Momo narrowed her eyes just as Ochaco did. “He never said Cow Lady, Izuku,” Ochaco reminded him. Izuku let out an ‘eep’ as he realized he’d slipped up. Hopefully she’d forget about this by the time they got back to the dorms? Maybe?


“Wait a minute, Cow Lady?” Minoru asked. He frowned. “I don’t think I’ve heard of her.”


“Probably a heroine who deserves her namesake,” Momo uttered darkly.


“Cow Lady?” Mina wondered. “Hey! How come we’ve got heroes like ‘Cow Lady’ around, but ‘Alien Queen’ gets rejected!?”


Before Midnight could answer, Katsuki groaned. “Wait, her ? That Texan with the big horns in the ranch chick outfit? God, how old is that magazine?”


“It’s a collector’s item from the time of All Might’s debut in America!” Izuku retorted. “It took me a long time to find it and a year’s allowance to get it!”


Ochaco sighed. Of course the magazine was related to All Might. Izuku had probably gotten it before he’d even started looking at girls, or maybe this ‘Cow Lady’ heroine was what started him on the path to looking at girls. She’d have to take a look at the magazine just to be sure, and then she’d decide if he could get it back.


But… it was part of his All Might collection! It was really important to him; his fanboyishness was one of the things that made Izuku Izuku! So what if it had a picture of this female hero in it? She could probably confiscate other pornographic magazines that Izuku probably had hidden under a mattress. No… that wouldn’t be fair to Izuku. She didn’t want to be that catty stereotypical obsessively jealous girlfriend who destroyed her boyfriend’s porn stash while maintaining her own. Besides, if Uwabami was getting filmed having sex with three men at once, then surely there were other pro heroes who had…


Ochaco stopped as she reached that line of thought, feeling a terrible chill run down her spine. “M-M-M-Midnight!” She leapt to her feet and grabbed the railing in front of the couch, all thoughts of Izuku’s potential magazine collection gone. “We’re not gonna have to whore ourselves out to become popular heroes, are we!?”


The other female hero students reacted like they’d been hit by a bolt of lightning.


“What?” Itsuka yelped. “I don’t want to—”


“What the fuck !?”


Everyone in the room felt themselves stiffen in shock. Izuku had gotten to his feet and had a livid expression on his face.


“That’s bullshit!” he shouted. “There’s no way that should be a thing! No hero should have to demean themselves to using sex to become popular! They’re a hero! I can understand the popularity polls, but for a female hero’s billboard ranking to be limited to whether or not they put out or become a sex symbol is just plain disgusting and I want no part of it! The only thing that matters is saving people from disasters and villains and how good you are at doing that. Fuck the billboard charts if they force female pros to have sex to get anywhere!”


“Izuku…” Ochaco muttered.


“Midoriya…” Momo whispered.


“Holy shit, Greenie just said ‘fuck’ twice,” Kyoka said.


“And he did it by getting mad on our behalf,” Toru added, Itsuka humming and nodding.


“I don’t know if I’m gonna swoon or not, Midori,” Mina teased. “You really know how to make us ladies feel appreciated.”


“Oh shut up,” Katsuki barked.


“Hey, that’s not—”


“Can it!” Katuski interrupted Itsuka. “Listen up! If any one of you even thinks of sleeping their way into the rankings, I will lose every single ounce of respect I may or may not have for you. You’ve all got your provisional licenses, you’ve fucking earned those! If you want to get up in the rankings, fucking take that spot through your own hard work and earn it! Show everyone you’re better than some fucking sex doll! If I hear that any one of you fucked somebody to get a ranking, I will fucking explode you until you can’t work anymore! If you wanna be a whore, just retire right now and get lost! You’re in UA to be the best, so don’t be a fucking disgrace by deciding you can’t get anywhere without fucking some bigshot!”


Eijiro grinned and punched Katsuki in the shoulder. “Hell yeah! That was a manly bit of encouragement, Bakugo!”


“Well said!” Tenya agreed. “Though perhaps tone down the vulgarity in your language.” 


“Fuck off, Four Eyes.”


Midnight raised her hands and cracked her whip again to draw attention back to the front. “Calm down, all of you.” The eyes of the students went back to the pro, the female pro, in front of them. “Just so that you all are aware, there is absolutely no mechanism or ability for any pro hero, male or female, to sleep their way into the rankings,” Midnight told them. “Popularity polls are one thing, but the billboard rankings are not simply a popularity contest. Uwabami and some other heroes may spend more time on modeling, commercials, and other side jobs such as this,” she gestured to the image on screen again, “but they are in no way a means to achieving fame and popularity has a pro hero. In Uwabami’s case, she enjoys the money that she gets paid for performing and she enjoys the work; she has told me that since she has no steady boyfriend or husband, it’s a fun way for her to have her sexual needs and desires fulfilled, and many of the male performers like having the opportunity to work with a beautiful pro hero such as her.


“Let me emphasise this again, as a mother, as your teacher, and as the R-Rated Hero: Midnight. There is no place in the Hero Industry for trading sex for rankings. It simply is not possible and is not tolerated. The Hero Public Safety Commission may be many things that we grumble about, but it is not an organization that can be bribed or will demand sexual favours. Is that clear?”


The assembled students gulped and nodded their heads. Midnight was serious , serious enough that every last one of them heard her crystal clear. 


“What I wanted to discuss with you all were some of the differences between pornography and real-life,” Midnight continued, gesturing to the still on-screen image of fellow pro-hero Uwabami naked and performing sexual deeds with three men. “For a start, Mineta, can you inform the rest of your peers what those who appear in pornographic works are called, and the answer I’m looking for is not ‘pornstar’, so you can avoid answering with that.”


She flexed her whip in her hands, making Minoru pale at the idea of angering her again. “R-r-right, I wasn’t thinkin’ that at all, ma’am. They’re performers. Sometimes they’re called actors or actresses, but I think that does a disservice to film and stage actors because a lot of times they’re really bad at acting.”


Midnight nodded. “That’s right. They are performers . Their job in a pornographic work is to perform . Just as an actor performs on a set or stage to entertain an audience, they also do so, but by performing sexual acts. The entire point is for them to get paid to perform sexual acts so that a viewing audience can pay to seek sexual gratification through watching them. They are putting on a show . If you are going to go into your first sexual experience thinking it’s going to be like what you see in porn, get rid of that delusion right now. She’s not going to be deepthroating you on the first try. He’s not going to be fantastic at giving you oral sex. You don’t do anal raw. You’re going to bumble and make mistakes. The people you watch performing in most of the porn you would consume are professionals; this is their career, they’re good at what they do, they know what they’re doing, and they’re aided by an industry that, as exploitive as it can be, also knows what the fuck it’s doing and what’s good and safe for their performers to do and what is not, while also having people on standby to handle emergencies while filming should they arise. If you’re alone with your partner in a bedroom, you don’t have that luxury of a first-aid responder or a bondage expert on standby if you fuck up what you’re doing, and you’ll be in for one embarrassing trip to the hospital.”


Quite a few faces were red and steaming at their teacher’s words, especially since he had dropped a few f-bombs herself, while Katsuki just glanced away, disinterested (though he still sneaked a peek at Uwabami’s picture, still on screen, when he thought no one was looking), and Minoru nodded his head. His hands were under his chin and elbows on his knees, paying close attention.


Mina raised her hand. “So, like, what else is different in porn than in real life?”


“The performers are often faking orgasms,” Midnight answered. “For most women, not all, but most, it’s difficult to achieve an orgasm through only vaginal stimulation with a man’s penis. If there isn’t some other stimulation, like on the nipples or clitoris or other erogenous zones the woman may have, it might even just be impossible for them to climax. So, for the purposes of entertainment for those who watch it, quite often the female orgasms will be fake.”


Face still red from the earlier comment about embarrassing hospital trips, Rikido posed his question. “So, like, we all know what happens when a guy, uh… has an orgasm,” he started, “but… do girls do something similar?”


“Is that why we don’t always see squirting in the videos?” Minoru asked. “Because they’re fakin’ it all the time?”


Shaking her head, Midnight replied. “Not necessarily. Squirting is actually a bit different than female ejaculation, and it’s also not something that all women are able to experience doing. Squirting doesn’t need to happen during orgasm, it can be induced, but female ejaculation happens during orgasm, but not always with every orgasm unlike in a male. It’s hit or miss with each person and how well they and potentially their partner know their body and what can or cannot be done. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t still have enjoyable sex. It may surprise you all, but I myself just can’t squirt.” She sighed and looked up at the roof, her arms slowly wrapping herself in a hug. “My sweet hubby and I have tried so many times and so many ways, but I just can’t do it, yet we always have fun trying.”


Izuku and Ochaco each mentally breathed sighs of relief, as well as a number of other people in the class while Momo called out her mother again for providing too much information. It was no knock against them or their partner if they just couldn’t do something.


“Miss Midnight, I must protest!” Tenya implored her. “This kind of subject matter is inappropriate!”


“It was this very same ‘inappropriate’ behaviour which caused all of us to exist, Iida,” Midnight reminded him. “Complain to the principal if you wish, but this discussion is happening regardless of your objections.” Her eyes brightened. “Actually, that’s a bit of a good idea I just had, since it segues into the next talking point.” She clicked her remote and the image changed away from Uwabami, finally, but this time it once again made the faces of most of the audience steam with how lurid it was as a collage of lewd images appeared beneath the white header of KINKS. “As we’re discussing pornography, let’s talk about one of the reasons it has survived for so long, by fulfilling people’s kinks. Todoroki, would you happen to know what a kink is?”


Shoto blinked like a deer in the headlights. “Uh…” he shook his head. “My apologies, but I don’t know. That was not covered in my prior education.”


“Quite all right, Todoroki. Mineta, I know you can answer this one.”


“It’s something that a person finds arousing,” Minoru said, slurping back his saliva from seeing the collage of sexy ladies and men in lewd circumstances on the screen. “Something that they find especially hot that turns them on more than other stuff.”


“Very good, ten points to Mineta,” Midnight answered with a grin. “What your classmate said is correct. A kink is just something that a person finds to be especially sexy. That’s the major difference between a kink and a fetish. A kink is something that heightens sexual arousal and satisfaction, whereas a fetish is a requirement to be aroused at all. Some fetishes are harmless, while others are socially unacceptable and tend to require counselling and occasionally treatment. While we were going to be discussing kinks first, Asui, can you give me an example of a harmless fetish and one that’s harmful.”


“Uh, sure. I suppose a harmless one would be a fetish for something like kneesocks, ribbit. While a harmful one could be blood or paedophilia.”


Midnight nodded as a wave of discomfort rippled through the students. “Remember, that is something that we pros sometimes need to deal with, bringing down a villain or another criminal who has a sexual fetish that they are legally not permitted to pursue. They’re as much a victim to their condition as their victim is, but they gave in to it and performed an illegal action. All we can do is educate, counsel, attempt preventative measures, and then handle the clean-up if things get messy.” Midnight clapped her hands together. “Now that that depressing bit’s out of the way. Let’s talk kinks in porn! Reverse order this time. Miss Kendo, what sort of kinks do you like to explore in the pornographic material you consume?”


Itsuka scratched her chin and wryly glanced away. “I don’t know if I should be saying anything. It’s basically admitting to doing something I shouldn’t.”


“That’s right, Kendo!” Tenya agreed. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!”


“Don’t be such a buzzkill, Iida,” Denki laughed. “I mean, the ice is, like, totally broken now, right? We can relax a bit and actually talk about this stuff.”


Midnight smirked. “Oh come now; you’re all healthy, curious teenagers. No one here is about to punish you for watching what we adults believe to be too mature for you to watch. I do not know how many of you turned on the television sets in your rooms yesterday, but when I turned on mine it was definitely preset to an adult channel.”


“Hey, so was ours,” Eijiro spoke up.


“And mine,” Tetsutetsu stated.


Koji nodded rapidly and Kyoka frowned. “Mine too,” she said.


“Oh, that’s what that was,” Mei giggled. “I wondered for a minute why all those people pretending to be pirates weren’t wearing a lot of clothes, but then I changed the channel to something else.”


Tsuyu glanced at her. “You mean you didn’t spend the whole night in your new workshop, ribbit?”


“I had too many ideas bouncing around in my head for new babies and I couldn’t settle on just one to start on,” Mei replied.


Ochaco breathed a sigh of relief. Okay, so Izuku hadn’t been watchin’ porn when I wasn’t in the room at some point yesterday. All the TVs had been set to those channels. I guess to show us that Kamimoto meant it when she said that nothin’ was outta bounds.


“Well… in that case,” Itsuka admitted while still glancing off to the side. Her voice trailed a bit as she continued, making it difficult to hear her. “I kinda like watching or reading wres… stuff.”


“Oooooh…?” Midnight asked with a smile, staring at Itsuka and making her more uncomfortable by the second. Since her gaze didn’t move over to Tsuyu in the slightest, Itsuka began to wonder if the silence from the teacher meant that she was asking for clarification.


“Well, uh, you know…” the ginger replied, curling her finger around the tip of her ponytail. “I mean in stuff like, where you’ve got two people fighting each other, and the winner gets to be dominant when having sex with the loser. That kinda thing.”


“Ah, wonderful! Asui! You’re next!”


“Ribbit!” the normally unreadable girl was sporting a blush. “Um, well, the kinds of stuff I look at, a lot of the time there’s water involved, like on a beach or in a pool.”


“Ooh, water sex, I like it,” Midnight said with a nod. “Hatsume, how about you?”


“Watching a documentary on engines!” Mei exclaimed. “They always make me feel nice and good, especially the way they purr and roar, and I heard one of my classmates refer to them as mechanic porn once, does that count even if there’s nothing sexual going on?”


“Close enough!” Midnight beamed, giving her a thumbs-up and a wink. “Hagakure!”


A few of the invisible girl’s classmates smirked. “Pretty sure we can guess yours, Hagakure,” Hanta sniggered.


“And if you guessed voyeurism, you’d be right!” Toru giggled. She made a motion as if rubbing her head. “It’s kinda on-brand for me, but yeah. I like watching stuff that involves watching others do it.”


“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Midnight replied. “Just because it would make it easier for you to do it because of your quirk doesn’t mean that it’s wrong for you to have that as a kink. Remember, all of you. You may think it weird for having a particular kink, but just like your quirks, that’s simply who you are. As long as nobody gets hurt, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with finding something particularly sexy.”


“Oh! Me next! Me next!” Mina shouted, waving her hand. “I like watching dancing or yoga sex! It’s a little bit into roleplay, but basically where a dancing couple transitions from dancing to fucking, or when a couple is doing yoga and that turns into sex.”


“That’s a fun one. Jiro.”


She tapped her earphone jacks together, looking a little embarrassed. However, everyone else was sharing, and they were well past crossing the line, so… “I kinda like looking at light restraints and tickling. Not anything major, like shibari and stuff, but just a little bit of restraint and being in such a position. It shows a lot of trust between the performers, even if they’re sometimes role-playing non-con.”


Midnight nodded her head. “Now Momo, I know it may be even more embarrassing to have to tell me what you’ve been looking at, but if you don’t want to I could always pull up your browser history and I know precisely which novels of mine you have hidden in your room…”


“Don’t say it!” Momo replied in a panic. “I’ll talk! I’ll talk! I only have to name one kink, right?”


Toru giggled. “Sounds like somebody has something to hide.”


“Are you gonna say something like clothing destruction?” Hanta teased. “We already got that from your last example with foreplay.”


Face steaming, Momo turned away from them and faced forward. Her eyes glanced downwards, momentarily catching Ochaco’s and Izuku’s gaze, before she really began to feel like her skin had become a frying pan and she looked down at her knees. “Recently I have… found myself thinking about two girls and one boy,” she answered, shyly glancing up at her mother. “I know I’ve always liked those kinds of situations in the novels I’ve acquired from your library, so I would say that one of my kinks would be threesomes.”


“Ooh!” Mina squealed. “That sounds exciting! Who are you fantasizing about? I’m totally down for a threesome with you depending on the guy involved.”


Momo’s neck nearly cracked as it whipped in the direction of the pink girl. “Ashi—what!?”


Mina lifted her arms behind her head. “Yeah, girl. You’re like, supermodel hot and you’ve got the biggest ti—I mean breasts of all the first years. Who wouldn’t want to get in and cop a feel of those sweater puppies as part of the action? Oops. Sorry, Midnight, I let an innuendo slip again. I meant breasts.”


“I feel like this is a conversation we should not be a part of,” Fumikage muttered, Mashiro nodding his head next to him as both boys felt their cheeks growing red at the idea of Mina and Momo together in a sexual situation.


Minoru gave a thumbs-up. “I’m willing, ladies.”


Tsuyu shook her head. “Sorry, Mineta, but I don’t think Mina was talking about you, ribbit.” The Frog-quirked teen softly ribbited to herself in laughter. “I’ll bet you were thinking of someone like Midoriya, Todoroki, or Kirishima, weren’t you, Mina?”


She paused, a faint blush coming onto her cheek as she scratched it coyly. “Well…”


Kyoka wiggled around the matryoshka doll that she had placed between her knees before plopping it on Momo’s skirt right in her lap. “So who’s the other one you’ve been thinkin’ about, Momo?” she needled. “Come on, we’re fairly certain who the boy is.”


“Enough of this!”


Tenya was on his feet, his right arm chopping downwards. “We are in a class! There is no time for all this teasing and interruptions or we’ll never finish the lesson! Uraraka, I believe that you’re next.”


“Well somebody’s eager to be the last one to spill one of his kinks,” Denki chuckled while Momo silently praised Tenya’s timely interruption.


Ochaco, meanwhile, resented Tenya’s comment, because the longer it drew on, the closer Midnight might come to stopping early and then she wouldn’t have to say, “I’m kinda into reading exhibitionism smut,” she told their teacher. “You know, doing it outdoors or in places where someone could potentially see, like on the train, or in the park, or in front of a large glass window. Something about being brave enough to risk being caught, but also not letting that fear stop them from doing it and showing the whole world what their relationship is like. I like readin’ stuff like that.”


Midnight nodded, giving her a warm smile. It wasn’t just the smut, there was also the romantic subtext in the smut that Ochaco was describing. It was cute. “That’s a wrap on the ladies. Cherry boys and Midoriya, it’s your turn. Start us off strong, Midoriya.”


“Quirk play!”


Katsuki snorted. “Saw that one coming ten miles away.”


“Interesting, Midoriya,” Midnight purred. “I’m seeing some blank faces. Care to elaborate for your classmates?”


Izuku nodded his head. “Sure! So, well, I guess all of you know by now that I’ve kinda got a thing for analyzing quirks and heroes and there’s… there’s one journal that I haven’t shown anyone. I guess it’s kinda my forbidden journal whenever the idea came to me of how quirks could be used during… well, when getting intimate.”


“Ooh, a forbidden journal?” Midnight giggled, hamming it up. “And what kinds of kinky things have you analyzed, Midoriya?”


“The super strength I get from One For All, for example,” he began. “I’d pretty much be able to break apart any support item, costume, or regular clothes with it and keep someone pinned down too, or break out of restraints. Plus, being super strong, I’d be able to lift and carry most women for any position that’d require that without issue, and I’d just have to remember to tone it down so I don’t thrust hard enough to break something. Then there’s Kamui Woods. His quirk would be really great at binding a partner and keeping them trapped in bondage play, same with Shiozaki if she can control whether or not her vines grow thorns. Sato’s Sugar Rush also works the same way as my strength enhancement. Shoji can create eyes, mouths, hands, feet and other appendages from his tentacles, and they’re fully functional, so it stands to reason that he could also create penises as well. Jiro could use her quirk to send the vibrations from her heartbeat off her jacks and into the penis or around the vulva or any other part of the body of her partner to create what’d probably be a really interesting and intimate sensation. Yaoyorozu’s Creation just has so many applications it’s impossible to name them all; being able to create anything, the utility of something like that in a bedroom setting is limitless. Midnight, your quirk would allow you to easily put your partner to sleep or put them into a very relaxed mood depending on how exactly it works if you can adjust the concentration of your pheromones; and Ochaco, your Zero Gravity would let you make us weightless, which just opens up the whole concept of zero-g intercourse which could be really fun and also makes me wonder if that’d also make secretions like sweat, semen, and vaginal fluid also weightless?”


“What about me, Midori?” Mina asked with a cat-like grin as Ochaco and Momo both nearly fainted at the excitement pouring out of Izuku as he rambled. The boy picked up the notebook he’d been using to take notes for the lesson.


“How weak and viscous can you make your acid?”


“I can dilute it until it’s just a touch below neutral,” Mina replied. “And you’ve seen my Melty Wall in the licensing exam, so I can make it pretty darn thick. I could also make it as viscous as water if that’s helpful.” She giggled as she watched Izuku frantically scribble the information down.


“Well, you could probably use it as a lubricant, then, if you were to be giving someone a handjob,” he answered, tapping the end of his pencil against his chin. “And if you were to then perform fellatio, having such a weak acid like that on the penis probably wouldn’t matter, but you might need to make sure you get the pH right to match what your own body produces so you don’t mess up the internal chemistry of your reproductive tract.” He paused for a second. “Actually, if you were to have sex with someone like Kirishima or Tetsutetsu with their Hardening and Steel quirks, you might just need to do something like that to give them extra lubrication in order to make it enjoyable for both of you if they were to use their quirks too.”


Mina felt her cheeks light up like a stop sign and flare as hot as Shoto’s left side at the idea of Kiri, naked, standing over his, imagining his big, hard, cock becoming all rock-like as he flexed and engaged his quirk. Slathering her acid on his Hardened phallus, just how would that feel?


“I think you broke Mina, Midoriya,” Toru said.


The green-haired youth blinked. “Oh! I’m sorry! I just got really into it and she asked and I didn’t mean anything by it! It was just a really interesting thought experiment that I sometimes get too deep into and please don’t—”


“Cool your jets, there, Midoriya,” Itsuka sighed. She gave him a small smile. “We know you’re big on quirks, don’t apologize for it. Besides, I’m sure Tetsu and Kirishima would really enjoy getting to be iron and rock hard for their eventual girlfriends, wouldn’t you?”


Also, no way is Ashido getting her horns on Tetsutetsu, Itsuka mentally declared. They just needed to assume that the blush on her cheeks was just from how ridiculous this class was, not from her imagining what Tetsutetsu’s dick would look like when it was all shiny and metal, or if he would even be able to cum when he’s ‘hard’ like that.


The two so named young men chose not to look anyone in the eye.


I do love teaching teenagers this class, Midnight thought to herself as she witnessed all the little tells and hints at who may like who and what they may be thinking about. It’s always so interesting. “Very well put, Midoriya,” she praised the green-haired youth in the front row. “Thank you for that explanation. I’m sure that your imagination will be able to find lots of uses for quirks in the bedroom in case any of your classmates come to you for advice.” She cackled inside as his face became a steamed tomato before moving onto the next victim. “Mineta, you’re up. One of your kinks, if you please?”


Minoru hesitated for just a moment. He could go for the obvious ones that he liked, or should he answer with something that he wasn’t entirely sure about but had started to grow on him since Mount Lady’s internship…? Nah, best to play it safe and predictable. He had no idea how his classmates would react if he said he was maybe kinda into femdom. “Harem!” he finally announced. “That’s my dream, to be a hero popular enough to become a harem king. All those beautiful babes, with bouncing breasts—”


“Hold on there, Casanova,” Midnight interrupted him. “You’re going to want to make sure you can land one girlfriend before you start wanting more. I wrote an essay on the old heroes Red Dragon Emperor and Defiant: The Viridian Hoarder. Both of them had harems and you’re not even close to being in their league, Grape Juice.”


Minoru blushed as she shot him down. Of course he’d heard about the Red Dragon Emperor and Defiant. Guys like that were basically his idols. “I’ll work super hard, then!” he declared, turning his gaze towards Izuku in the front. The 9th holder of One For All looked to already be a shoo-in for amassing a harem of his own, given the way the girls in class had been looking at him since yesterday. Dammit, why couldn’t he have been the protagonist of the show, conveniently forgetting about all the quirkist bullshit, months of hellish training, and broken bones that his classmate had suffered through. “I’ll become a super awesome popular pro!”


“That’s the spirit!” Midnight encouraged him. “Don’t let that drive go to waste. Kaminari, you’re next.”


“Okay, I don’t know if this is gonna sound weird or not,” Denki replied. “But, I kinda like it when clothes are still on. I just think it’s super hot when people aren’t totally naked when sexy stuff’s going on.”


Minoru gasped while some of the others in the class gave him intrigued looks. “Kaminari, you traitor!”


He held up his hands. “Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love seeing girls naked as much as the next guy. It’s just something I’m into when, like, the shirt’s bunched up around the collar or waist and a vest or skirt is still on.”


“That’s quite a common one, Kaminari,” Midnight answered with a nod. “So I wouldn’t say it’s weird at all. Don’t worry about it. Sero, how about you?”


“I guess this ties into quirk play a bit,” he answered with a smile, “and I’m losing my wild card status because this is probably totally expected, but… yeah, I like checking out bondage stuff.”


“You have to be careful with that; there are many ways in which that could go wrong,” Midnight warned him. “Tying the wrong knot, using the wrong rope, making things too tight or too loose, it’s tricky to do properly. If you’re ever interested in doing it with a partner, I recommend getting some lessons on proper bondage technique from an expert before trying it yourself. Koda, how about you?”


Blushing up a storm, his voice quiet voice momentarily failing him, Koji gathered his courage under the effects of peer pressure with everyone else sharing their kink and spoke up. “Um, more or less like Uraraka,” he answered her. “I enjoy the idea of outdoors, but not necessarily where people could catch you. Like, by a river or waterfall or when camping in the woods or something like that.”


“That’s lovely, Koda, and exciting. Being one with your partner while being out in nature just like how we used to be hundreds of years ago is quite fun. Todoroki, how about you?”


Shoto was silent for a few moments, looking at Midnight and then his eyes shifting over to the collage of lewd images on the slideshow behind his teacher. “I admit, I’m not as knowledgeable about this sort of thing as my classmates,” he said at length. “I didn’t really have any influences that got me into this sort of thing, but… there is one thing that I’ve recognized I find appealing.”


“What would that be?” Yuga inquired while most everyone else turned to listen to him speak. Katsuki opened his ears, too. As dumb as this shitty class was, it was entertaining as fuck, and he wanted to know what Icy-Hot found sexy.


“Wedding dresses.”


Toru and Mina practically screamed with how adorable and sweet they found Shoto’s admission. Yuga was also quite vocal in praising Shoto’s tastes, all of which put Endeavor’s son on a bit of a back foot for not expecting that reaction, and Katsuki sneered internally. Yeah, wedding dresses can be sexy, especially once you’re in private and you can tear the thing off of her.


Monoma smirked as Midnight called on him. “I can’t believe I’m listening to this. All so tame. Quirk play? Light bondage? Threesomes? Voyeurism and outdoor sex? But really, what should I have—”


“Do you have a point, Monoma, or is your kink extreme narcissism and degradation?” Midnight had her whip handy as she flatly delivered her line.


The blond coughed. “Well, maybe a little bit of degradation, but that’s because I’m more into gangbangs. One or two girls and a whole hoard of guys.” He received several looks, some of disgust, others of begrudging approval of his tastes. “Some of it is degradation, sure, other parts of it is seeing the women performer act like a far too horny slut, but mostly I think it’s because it shows the performer getting absolutely as much pleasure as is physically possible for her to receive.”


“That’s a nice and more wholesome take on it than I was expecting. Tetsutetsu, what makes your penis iron-hard?”


He grumbled and looked away, not a big fan of how he was called out like that. “I uh… I like redheads,” he answered. Before anyone could say anything in response, he quickly snapped his head in the other direction. “Okay, Frenchie, you’re up.”


“Oui,” Yuga replied, winking and sparkling. He caught on how Tetsutetsu and Itsuka had commented on how they basically liked the same things, and there was something in Itsuka’s tone after Izuku mentioned Tetsutetsu having sex with Mina that just screamed at him that she did not approve of that thought at all . “Though it’s très gauche to simply discuss this so casually, I do happen to have a kink for fashionable cosplay. One of my great loves of Japan is the schoolgirl sailor uniform. It’s both so cute and alluring at the same time, non?


“Uh, yeah, right…” Rikido hesitantly agreed with the way Yuga had turned towards him and practically asked him. “Uh, guess I’m next, right? So, uh…” he blushed, rubbing the back of his head and glancing at his knees. “So… I’m less into watching videos and more into doujinshi, but I guess something that I keep coming back to is netorare. That’s not bad, is it?”


Midnight shook her head. “Not at all. You can’t help what you’re into, and if you find netorare or cuckolding arousing then you find it arousing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Now, if that were to happen to you in real life in a non-consensual way, then that might end up being an issue you might need some counseling for to keep your mental health in good order so you don’t slip into depression, but no, there is absolutely nothing inherently wrong in liking that. Tokoyami?”


The bird-headed boy lowered his head and closed his eyes. “I’d rather not say.”


“Aw, don’t be shy.” From out of his chest emerged Dark Shadow, making Kamimoto grimace and look down at the settings for the quirk inhibitor again. It should have been working, dammit! “I can tell you what Fumi likes.”


“Dark Shadow!” Fumikage gasped. “Don’t!”


“Why not?” his quirk replied. “Everyone else is sayin’ their embarrassing secret stuff. You shouldn’t hold back, Fumi.”


“Return, Dark Shadow, now,” Fumikage ordered. “I do not wish to have them think ill—”


“It’s tentacles,” Dark Shadow spoke up, swerving around so that he was behind Fumikage and patting him on the shoulder. “This guy likes tentacle and monster stuff.”


“GO BACK!” Fumikage shouted, grasping Dark Shadow by the beak and starting to wrestle his quirk back down into his body. “Obey me, foul creature!”


“I don’t wanna go back! This stuff sounds fun!”


Izuku had his notebook in hand, scribbling. “I wonder how Dark Shadow could be used? As someone to help pin a partner down or up? As part of role-playing a terrifying villain? I don’t think Dark Shadow has any method of reproduction, so it’s not like it could really join Tokoyami in doing anything… but he has called it a creature…”


“Ooh, maybe that means it does have a penis,” Mei jumped in, leaning over the railing. “If it’s a living creature, it’s gotta have some way of making babies, right?”


“But it’s more like a bird,” Tsuyu added. “So maybe a cloaca? Most species of birds don’t have a penis and their reproductive system’s completely different, ribbit.”


“Whaaaat?” Mei asked, whipping her head around to Tsuyu. “Really?”


“Yeah,” Tsuyu answered while Koji nodded his head in the next row up. “Amphibians have it too, though at least the males get some kind of penis. It’s something I had to learn about a while back because we were concerned my anatomy might be different because of my quirk’s mutations, but it’s not, thank goodness. I can already spit out my own stomach; having a cloaca too would just be really gross.”


“What’s the difference?” Minoru asked.


Momo coughed. “To simplify it, the cloaca in birds, amphibians, and other species functions as both the site of bodily waste removal and insemination.”


“...meaning?” Mina queried.


“Meaning they pee, poop, and have sex from the same hole,” Hanta answered, and a pall came over all the students as they thought about it.


“Fortunately, I don’t,” Tsuyu reminded them all. “So please, stop thinking about it.” 


“Ojiro, you’re next,” Midnight declared as Fumikage utilized the distraction and managed to get Dark Shadow to obediently get back inside and was currently muttering to himself about his forbidden desires having been wrenched into the light from the darkness where he’d banished them.


“Uh, now’s probably a bad time to say that I find anal sex kinky,” he answered, chuckling slightly. A few of the students likewise issued half-hearted laughs.


“Doing it in the butt just seems so weird,” Toru said.


“It is common, though,” Kyoka replied.


“I’ve heard that you either love it or you hate it,” Mina added. “There’s no in-between.”


“Doesn’t matter how much you paid me, I’d only try something like that with someone I really liked,” Itsuka said with folded arms and a shake of her head.


Midnight smirked, but otherwise held off on teasing. “Just remember that if you were to try that you should definitely have a lot of lube and a condom handy as well as cleaning your rectum out in preparation. I am sure Recovery Girl doesn’t want to hear about any of you doing it raw or getting an infection because of fecal matter getting into lacerations in the rectum or on the penis. Kirishima, you’re next.”


Eijiro winced horribly from the mental image of having shit all over his junk and shook his head before trying to clear it with thoughts of something he actually found sexy, ignoring how strange it was to be intentionally doing that in class. “All right, this is gonna sound really corny, but I sometimes find hero-ing situations to be really sexy,” he admitted. “Like some of those bad parody ones, where the hero saves some bystanders or other civilians and then they get really gratuitously thankful? Oh yeah, like that one you starred in, Midnight!”


For once, Midnight froze, as she cocked her head in confusion while Momo’s stunned gasp was even louder than Mei’s. “The one I was in? I assure you, Kirishima, I have never—”


“Oh, yeah, I think I know the one he’s talkin’ about,” Minoru piped up. “It’s got you in your first costume, where it looks like the bad guys are gonna beat and have their way with you when they tear the whole thing off and have you practically naked, but then, Wham! Bam! Hiyaa! You knock them all out with some well-placed kicks and punches while also using your quirk on them, and the two dudes you save take you right there in the alley. Oh right, Midnight at Midnight!”


Midnight ignored Momo’s gasp as her eyes brightened. “Oh yes! That one! I understand now.”


“So have you done porn, Miss Midnight?” Mina gasped. “Was it fun? How much did you get paid?”


Midnight giggled and shook her head. “Sorry to burst your bubble, Ashido, but I need to reassure my daughter. No, I have never done porn. However, there have been a few parodies in which they have used my likeness and I have been called on to act as a consultant on my costume and how my quirk works. Being the R-Rated Hero means that quite a few production companies want to use my likeness from time to time, especially when I was in my twenties, but I did make a pretty yen from being an on-site consultant. Plus it was adorable when the cast and crew wanted my autographs and for me to do a sexy photo shoot. That film promo cover earlier? I actually did that photo, even though I never performed in the film.” She didn’t mention how she was actually four weeks pregnant with Momo at the time; she had crossed many lines, but saying that might be going a bridge too far.


Eijiro nodded his head, relieved that his teacher hadn’t actually done it, and elbowed his seatmate. “Hey, it’s your turn, Baku-bro. You got any kinks that don’t involve property damage?”


“Green hair,” the explosive pomeranian answered without a moment’s hesitation.


There was a single second’s total silence. Izuku froze in his seat, stopping writing as Katsuki’s words got stuck in his brain. Green hair. Bakugo likes green hair. Wait, green hair? What the fuck? DOES KACCHAN THINK I’M SEXY!?  


Izuku shot to his feet and turned around, yelling, “WHAT!?”


Katsuki blinked, then his eyes caught sight of the nerd’s green hair, and he felt like he wanted to vomit. “FUCK NO!” he shouted. “Don’t make me puke, idiot! Like Hell I’d be turned on by you, Deku!”


“That had better be the truth, Bakugo!” Ochaco warned, getting out of her seat and glaring at him.


“I agree,” Momo added. “If abusing Midoriya turned you on, then that’s even more despicable than we thought.”


“Fuck no!” Katsuki shouted back. “You’re makin’ me sick even implying that I fuckin’ got off torturing him for ten years. Just ‘cause he’s got green hair and I find green hair attractive doesn’t mean I find anything about Deku appealing.”


“Well, then who is it?” Mina asked.


“None of your fucking business, Racoon Eyes!”


“It isn’t me, is it?” Tsuyu asked. “Because I don’t return the feelings, Bakugo.”


“Can it, Frog! I’m not into you!”


Midnight clapped her hands. “Okay, we can discuss Bakugo’s secret crush—”


“I don’t have a fuckin’ crush!”


“—after the lesson, but for now we have two more students to get through. Shoji, then Iida, please.”


“Uh, actually, mine is the same as Tokoyami’s,” Mezo replied. “I know it’s on-point because of my quirk, but like Midoriya said, I actually can create… well, penis duplicates using my quirk. So… yeah, when I do check out stuff, it’s tentacles.”


He was blushing beneath his mask, but Mezo felt like the giggles he overheard weren’t anything like the teasing ones that had come up in middle school when he’d been made fun of for his quirk or wondering if he could make sex organs with his Dupli-Arms. All of them were being subjected to Midnight’s class, so these giggles didn’t really make him feel embarrassed or ashamed of his quirk, not even Itsuka’s hushed question that he just managed to overhear on if he’d be good in porn. It wasn’t what he wanted to do at all, but when he was older… perhaps he’d have an interest in it like Uwabami seemed to.


Steam seemed to escape Tenya’s nostrils as he rose from his seat. “As the last person to speak, I must first declare that I strongly object to this method of teaching sexual education,” he declared. “I see no academic purpose for having each of us underage students divulge information about the types of materials we like to consume when all of us are not legally permitted to view such material.”


“Your objection has been noted and will be summarily ignored,” Midnight replied. “Identifying different kinks, specifically kinks that each one of you has, is as much about exploring the vast range of kinks that are out there as well as understanding that every person can have different sexual preferences for what they find arousing. Some may surprise you, some may not. It’s all part of life, and since we’re all on this island until we’ve finished watching this show about Midoriya and your class, however long that takes, it is quite possible that romance could bloom. It already has for Midoriya and Uraraka. Knowing as much as possible about sex and the forms that it can take is good for your sexual health, and God knows I’m sure none of your parents are bold enough to discuss kinks with you or why doing it raw is a bad idea unless you are trying to conceive. As an example, I had Momo barely a year out of UA.”


Momo blushed, hesitantly stuttering at the announcement. She knew her mother was young, but she didn’t know that she was that young.


“Remember, all of you. The ladies are fertile . Their bodies are ready to bear children, but none of you are ready to be mothers and fathers yet. You’re not even ready to be what you’re aspiring to be. Get your lives in order first before you start creating new lives within you. Iida, your kink, please.”


“How much says he finds classroom lectures kinky?” Hanta asked Denki while elbowing him, with the Electrification user snorting in response.


“Yeah, probably likes the hard-nosed, strict, glasses type who just comes undone at the first provocation.”


“While I still disagree, you are our instructor, so I must answer,” Tenya replied. “Very well. What I find arousing are women who are confident and bossy without being abusive.”


“Excellent! Well done, Iida!” Midnight cheered. She glanced up at a clock on the back of the wall at the edge of the classroom. “Hm… this is taking more time than I thought. We should probably finish up soon, so let’s do a quick lightning round on sexual positions, Jeopardy-style, and then finish off with ten minutes of free conversation.”


Izuku felt a defeated groan well-up in his dry as a bone throat as the picture on the slideshow changed again, and he hoped that this would all be over soon as Minoru raised his hand and shouted out “lotus flower”. He was already mentally exhausted from watching his fight with Bakugo again this morning and then the majority of the USJ incident this afternoon. While this was, admittedly very , interesting, Izuku wasn’t sure just how much of the new information he’d learned he’d end up retaining. Furthermore…


How on earth are Ochaco and I going to be able to go to sleep tonight now?