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Tony Starks Survival Guide for Ending Arguments with your Norse Boyfriend

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"Your perspective on life comes from the cage you were held captive in."
-Shannon L. Adler

"Then why don't you just fucking leave?"

The argument had begun simply enough. As in, it hadn't been an argument at all. Loki had come in, asking Tony to make him a cup of tea, which he did willingly, and then sat down and asked Tony to come over and sit with him because they needed to talk. Now, Tony knew from experience that "we need to talk" is never a good thing to hear, especially coming from your soon-to-be husband. He almost, almost said no, but he didn't because he's an idiot.
And then talk of immortality and golden apples had come up, leading to a big blowout and Tony wasn't quite sure how it began, only knowing that it had and that neither of them was going to be able to walk away without some battle scars. Somehow, between the harsh words and the thrown items, they'd ended up out on the snow covered balcony with a blue Loki and a freezing Tony, still going at it like they were fucking kids again, neither knowing when (or choosing not to) back down.

And then those stupid words had left Tony's mouth and everything froze, including Tony. Loki stared at him with wide, shocked red eyes, unable to believe those words had left Tony's mouth just as much as Tony couldn't believe it.

"You wish me to leave simply because we cannot find a solution to this particular problem at this very moment?" Loki asked, bewilderment coloring his voice and hiding the hurt layered beneath it.

"No. Fucking hell, no I don't want you to leave. I just- I want you to stop pushing this! I don't- fuck, I can't- live forever, Loki! Why can't you understand that? It's not like you're asking me to play cards here, Loki. This is forever we're talking about!"

"I was hoping you had given this some thought already, Stark! I was hoping you cared for me enough that forever was something you'd already given thought to and had already made a decision about!"

"Of course I fucking care, Loki! It's not a simple decision, and I can't exactly take it back once it's done!" Loki tensed then, eyes hardening and back stiffening as he stared at Tony before saying sharply, coldly and even worse, emotionlessly.

"Then perhaps I shall leave. We have done naught but argue since we announced our engagement. We do not enjoy our relationship as we used to, therefore it is pointless to continue it." With those words, Loki turned sharply on his heel and began walking away without a single look back.

After a moment of panic, Tony threw caution to the wind, picked up a handful of snow, packed it together and threw it as hard as he could, hitting Loki directly in the back of the head. Loki froze mid-step and Tony stared, heart beating loudly in his ears and for a moment, he could've sworn his life had flashed before his eyes and shit, he fucked up, he really fucked up and was about to turn tail and run before Loki could turn and fucking pummel him-
-but when Loki did turn, it was only to send a snowball sailing at him, hitting him square in the chest.

Tony stared in open mouthed shock before bending at the waist and picking up more snow, but Loki had experience on his side and had already formed another half dozen snowballs with his Jotun powers and sent them flying towards Tony before Tony had even managed to fully pack together his second. The second which, as luck would have it, hit Loki directly in the face.
The Jotun blinked at him in shock for a moment, mouth agape, before he threw his head back and began to laugh.
Tony stared, not bothering to shake out the snow now halfway down his shirt and in his hair, wondering just what had happened to cause his (ex?) lover to cackle like a maniac.

"You, Anthony, are a mad man," Loki said once he'd finally stopped laughing and gotten his breath back. And then he tackled Tony into a pile of snow and kissed him like his life depended on it, mouth hard and cold and perfect.

"I'm sorry," Tony gasped out once Loki let up so they could breathe. "But- you understand it's- it's not an easy's not that I don't care, it's that I care too fucking much and don't- don't want you getting tired of me and leaving or- or fuck, I don't fucking know..." Tony stuttered out before shutting up, deciding he'd done enough damage as it was.

"Do no apologize, my Anthony. I should not push you as I have been. Time will give me your answer, and I will wait as long as I need to for it." Another kiss and Loki was jumping to his feet, grinning madly. Tony had no idea why.

Or, he didn't until a whole pile of snow dumped onto him from above head and Loki was cackling as he ran away. Fucking magic, was all Tony thought before he clambered to his feet and took off after his god, leaving a snowy trail through the house as he followed behind.