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put a ring on it

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Sapnap can tell when Dream wakes up, because the yelling starts almost immediately.

Ditching the soda he'd been trying to fruitlessly rattle out of the overpriced vending machine in the hall near the waiting room, he sprints towards the source of the commotion, barely bothering to throw a quick apology to the nurse he almost barrels over in the process. The noise is muffled through the door, but it's drawn the attention of almost everyone sitting in the uncomfortable, hard-backed chairs; an infant, gently bouncing in their parents lap, looks like they're considering joining in the wailing. He pays them no mind.

Sapnap bursts into the hospital room to Dream, the perfect picture of heartbroken distress, clinging to George's left hand like a limpet; there's no tears yet, but his lip is wobbling dangerously. Both George and the nurse, standing off to the side, look far too amused for there to be any pain involved. Before Sapnap can demand to know what happened, Dream opens his mouth again, sniffling.

"Who," he demands far too loudly, staring up at George, clearly distraught. "Who married you?!"

Sapnap has never whipped his phone out to hit record faster in his life.

"Dream," George chokes out, doing a pretty terrible job at smothering his laughter, which is exactly how Sapnap feels watching this entire debacle happen. "Dream, listen-"

"No," Dream says stubbornly, eyes locked on George like he's the only person in the room. "You- you can't have married someone else, I was going to marry you." The nurse makes a choked sound and promptly leaves; Sapnap can hear him make it to the end of the hall before breaking down in hysterics, professional dignity be damned.

George looks like he's having trouble breathing, he's restraining himself so much. He sets his free hand on Dream's placatingly.

"It's okay, Dream," he consoles between gasps for air. "Let me talk-"

"It's not okay," Dream wails, eyes watering at an alarming rate. "I like you so much, it's not fair that someone else got to marry you! It's not fair!" 

Someone's making a pathetic, high pitched wheezing sound. Belatedly, Sapnap realizes that it's him.

George, to his credit, just pats Dream's hands gently as his fully grown, adult husband throws a mini temper tantrum. "Dream--"

"I will find them," Dream barrels on, clutching George's hands so tightly it must be painful to at least one of them. "I will find whoever married you and I will fight them-"

Sapnap lets out an embarrassing croaking sound. George sends him a fairly impressive stink eye. Dream's head snaps towards him so fast it's a wonder no one was harmed.

"Sapnap," Dream says, and then, instead of greeting him like a normal person, "did you marry George? "

Sapnap doesn't so much laugh as he does expel air very loudly and very harshly from his lungs. The sound is absolutely inhuman and should not, in any capacity, count as a laugh. Dream looks offended that his question isn't being taken seriously.

"Dude," Dream says morosely, "so not cool. Bro code, man."

"I did not marry George ," Sapnap finally manages to draw in enough air to say, between laughs. George pulls a comically offended face.

"You don't have to sound so grossed out at the idea," he mutters, and if Sapnap were any less worried about the chances of Dream leaping heroically out of his hospital bed in order to tackle him to the ground, he'd make a kissy face at George. As it is, he just sticks his tongue out. Dream eyes him suspiciously and asks, with all the petulance of a cross 5-year-old, "Why won't anyone tell me who married George?"

"Dream," George sighs, "I'm trying to tell you."

"If I ask really nicely," Dream says, "will you divorce them? I really want to marry you. Really." 

George's amusement melts away into a soft, syrupy tenderness almost immediately. Gently, he says, "I'll tell you, and you let me know if you still want me to divorce them, okay?"

"Okay," Dream agrees, still looking like someone kicked Patches. Or, y'know, married the man he's helplessly in love with.

Instead of just saying Dream's name, George fiddles with their intertwined hands; it takes Sapnap a moment to realize that he's showing Dream his own wedding band, gleaming silver against Dream's tan skin. Dramatic bastard.

Dream is silent for so long that Sapnap is legitimately worried he's drawn the wrong conclusion from this. He doesn't know what he'd do if Dream started wailing about how he married someone else. But after a long, weighty silence, Dream finally looks back at George and asks, voice almost inaudibly soft, "I married you?"

George's smile splits wide into a grin. "You did."

Dream gawks at him, speechless, for another good few seconds, before his entire face lights up. "You married me ?"

"Of course, idiot," George says fondly. Sapnap can feel the cavities forming.

"Oh," Dream breathes, turning his gaze back down to their hands, tangled together on top of the sheets. "Oh ." Sapnap can see his expression from the doorway- elation and adoration clearly marked on his face as he turns his and George's hands this way and that, admiring how the light catches on their rings. George bears the fawning with considerable grace, watching his husband with lovestruck eyes.

And then Dream's head snaps up again. 

"I get to kiss you?"

Sapnap is laughing outright as he stops the recording and goes to find the nurse. Behind him, George, still smiling, presses a sweet, slow kiss to an ecstatic Dream's lips, hands clasped together on the hospital bed.

(And later, when Dream is no longer hopped up and loopy on drugs, they make him watch the recording, laughing the entire time. He demands a divorce, embarrassed but laughing just as hard, and George kisses him again though their giggling. 

"You like me so much," he teases as Dream presses more kisses to his hair, leaning into him contentedly.

Sapnap grins at his two idiots.)