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Published:
2020-10-13
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1/1
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all of me loves all of you

Summary:

Jamie’s always thought her moonflower was her favorite sight in the world. Something you put so much effort into getting, into finally coaxing into blooming against all odds, against the cold, damp, rainy English soil and lack of sun, something that if you took the right care of it and waited for the right moment you would see bloom beautifully on its own time. 

Notes:

I loved the ending of THoBM in itself, but personally I've had enough of dead lesbians so here's the new canon!

Work Text:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She picks up Dani’s bags once they’ve said their goodbyes, not uneager to leave, gravel crunching under her boots as she heads out the manor doors one last time and toward her car. 

 

(Sleep, exhaustion, and worry all drag at her, but she’ll sleep once they board the plane.)

 

Dani is a good person, the best that Jamie has ever known, without even the exaggeration that’s oft to come from a lover. Even now Dani sits poised and smiling, as if what she’s done is no big thing, talking about their flight which leaves in five hours. 

 

They will leave this all behind, and Jamie feels hope, real hope, rise up in her. 

 

She turns the car key, engine turning over, and they leave Bly behind forever without a backwards glance, Dani’s hand resting on hers.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

Viola is buried away as much as possible, Jamie understands. She surfaces only a few times, Jamie comes to realize, when Bly is fresh in both their memories, when their new apartment is bare and undecorated. 

 

“She’s there sometimes,” Dani admits one morning after a particularly rough night, and they’ve spoken of this before more or less, late when Dani wakes up shaking and whimpering and Jamie holds her tight. “It’s, you know, kind of impossible not to have nightmares about Bly, right?” Dani says with a nervous laugh, hands wrapped around a mug of hot coffee as they sit in bed.

 

They take it one day at a time, and as the years go on the nightmares stop, Viola tucked away deep and lost in little more than a memory of their time at Bly. 

 

They can forget

 

Dani wakes up one day and has her coffee and Jamie her tea, sitting across from her in their sunny kitchen filled with plants that cascade over everything and photos of them together framed on the walls and all of it a beautiful thing they’ve created together, and Dani tells her about a dream she had where they adopted a unicorn together and tried to hire it as an employee in their flower shop but it wouldn’t stop eating the roses.

 

And it is so nonsensical and innocent and free of fear, Jamie knows, with pride and love rising in her heart, that Dani has her buried away not through sheer stubbornness, but through her sheer goodness.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

They have their life together, their apartment not far from the flower shop. They have their own small circle of new American friends, and they have Owen across the pond that they get letters from occasionally, including recipes for Jamie to try—never Dani, because they all know anything in the kitchen is not her strength.

 

Gone is the Dani that jumped at every shadow, and Jamie is glad for it, for Dani as well as for them.

 

They fall into bed together, Jamie’s shirt gone already and Dani’s hands on her jaw, kissing her eagerly as they tumble onto their unmade bed, giggling and gasping with the joy of it.

 

Jamie’s always thought her moonflower was her favorite sight in the world. Something you put so much effort into getting, into finally coaxing into blooming against all odds, against the cold, damp, rainy English soil and lack of sun, something that if you took the right care of it and waited for the right moment you would see bloom beautifully on its own time. 

 

But better by far, by leaps and endless bounds, is Dani arching under her, clutching the headboard and vocal—because her shy little American is surprisingly vocal—about how much she needs Jamie a little lower, a little faster, please? , and Jamie is not one to deny her, not ever. 

 

Hands tracing Dani’s sides, Jamie kisses her way down her trembling body, until she’s guiding Dani’s hips to still and nestling her nose through Dani’s dark blonde hair and finding that one spot that Jamie loves.

 

It might be a stereotype, to love being here, Jamie thinks, tongue lapping against Dani and savouring the flavour of her, reveling in the slow, subtle start of a crescending of breathing that’s building. But if it is a stereotype then, well, she’ll be bloody damned, because in their life of wonderful moments this might just be the most wonderful, to feel Dani start to shudder under her and to hold her gently, to let her know I’m here with you one hundred percent , like always, for forever, as Dani comes under her. 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

The last thing she expects when she sees Dani come in with another plant needing saving is this.

 

Jamie breaks the clumps of soil away from the roots, loosens the ring from where it’s tangled and brushes dirt off it. 

 

And there is Dani behind her, speaking, her best friend, her person, and there are tears in Jamie’s eyes whether she wants them to be or not. And that’s one of the things the goodness of Dani has allowed her to do, to cry when she needs it or to lean on Dani when she needs it. 

 

Dani does not break down the garden gates she’s kept locked so long, but only invites her out from the other side, to let Jamie open them, the hinges squeaking with age and rust, and to step out and love Dani as deeply as Dani loves her.

 

“We can wear the rings, and we’ll know,” Dani says, hopeful as if Jamie will say anything other than yes, because I love you more than you can understand, and Jamie goes to her, sweeps her up in her arms and kisses her.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

They attend Flora’s wedding together. The ending of the story is different, but the same—the evil defeated, and that’s what matters, isn’t it?

 

The children do not recognize them, the characters in the story unnamed and bearing only tangential similarities, with a knowing nod only to Henry and Owen. They are there as Henry’s invitees, old friends and well-wishers. 

 

The night is beautiful, and Jamie dances with Dani among everyone else dancing, like they did at their own wedding a few years back. 

 

(They’ve had so many ceremonies over so many years, to the point that Dani herself had joked that she couldn’t possibly find another way to ask Jamie to be hers unless they came up with some new form of, true to the humour that Jamie finds irresistible, like, super marriage, or… or something! )

 

And it is a beautiful thing to be here, to be holding her wife’s hand, to run her thumb over Dani’s hand and feel their own wedding rings still there on her ring finger, after all this time. They are older but no less in love, a few more grey hairs but no less happy, and when Dani smiles at her, sweet as always, Jamie tightens her hold around her waist just a bit, urging her closer.

 

Jamie closes her eyes, lets the music carry them as they sway together, Dani’s head on her shoulder.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

In their hotel room they fall asleep as they always do, reminiscent of that first moment when Jamie had suspected with an eager frisson of recognition that her feelings were not one-sided, that time just the two of them by the van—Dani reaches out, hand waiting, and Jamie meets her, laces their fingers together as they lie facing each other, legs tangled.

 

And so the au pair and the gardener fall asleep, warm and safe beneath their sheets, content in the knowledge that tomorrow is another beautiful day together.