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this is me trying (i just wanted you to know)

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None of Kara’s research had given her any indication that putting the stupid harness on would be so difficult. It should have been a relatively simple process—step in, pull up, cinch tight—and yet here she was, trapped in the freaking thing like it was a well-aimed bolas. 

“Rao,” she muttered under her breath as she tried and failed to get herself unstuck. She heaved a sigh as she nearly fell over, and shook her head. Never mind. A bolas would be easier to contend with.

She really should have snuck over here at lunch or something to give this whole thing a test-run.

“Sweetheart, you just have to…” Lena’s hands gently nudged hers out of the way and did something she didn’t quite catch. “There.”

Kara’s cheeks flamed, and she nodded. “Right. Thanks.”

A light finger traced the back of her left hand as Lena asked softly, “Hey, you okay?”

“Of course.” She nodded again, hoping that the ol’ ‘fake it til you make it’ thing kicked in soon, and hiked the harness over her hips. She bit her lip as she turned her attention to the adjustable strap on her left hip. Alex said to make sure these are tight.

“You asked Alex about this?” Lena’s surprised voice shattered her focus.

Kara blinked and felt her blush deepen as she looked up into Lena’s eyes. “Oh, Rao. I said that out loud, didn’t I?” Thankfully, Lena looked more amused than angry that she’d gone to her sister for guidance in this matter, and when Lena arched a ridiculously sexy brow and dipped her chin in a short nod, she tried to explain, “I just… I couldn’t find a video that showed how to put it on. And I looked.” But every link took her to one porn video or another, and that was just…not what she wanted. So she ended up on sites that sold them, which was a completely different kind of enlightening, but at least there, some of the options were shown on a pair of mannequin hips, so she didn’t feel like a complete pervert studying them. “And the pictures I eventually found were, like, helpful for knowing how it should fit, but they certainly didn’t suggest that it’d be so complicated to get the thing on, and I just—”

Lena’s fingers tightened around her wrist to halt her rambling. “Breathe.”

Kara automatically obeyed and sucked in a deep breath. “Sorry.”

“Hey.” Lena’s lips curved into a soft smile as she tilted her head to hold Kara’s gaze. “You know we don’t have to do this, right?”

“No!” Kara winced at how loud her voice was, and added in a softer tone, “I want to.” Really, it shouldn’t have been possible to blush even more, but apparently it was, and she focused her attention on the way Lena’s pulse beat slow and steady in her throat as she willed it away. “Sorry. I just—”


Kara heaved a sigh and lifted her gaze back to Lena’s. This wasn’t going at all how she’d imagined it would. Her eyes stung with tears and her heart pounded so heavily in the base of her throat that her voice trembled as she murmured, “I’m trying.”

“I know you are, sweetheart. But—”

Kara shook her head. “I want to be enough for you.”

Lena blinked at her. “You are.” Her brow furrowed as dark eyes danced over Kara’s face, and she hurriedly maneuvered onto her knees so that they were eye-to-eye. “Kara, you are more than enough for me.” She ran a light hand along Kara’s jaw and cupped it tenderly so she couldn’t look away. “You’re everything. I’m sorry I made you feel like this was something you had to do. Let’s just—”

Kara held onto the waistband of the harness tighter as Lena tried to pull it down. “I want this, Lena,” she insisted. “I want to have this with you. I just…” Her voice trailed off, and she looked up at Lena through her lashes as her lips quirked with an embarrassed smile. “Can you help me put this thing on?”


Kara took Lena’s hand from her jaw and moved it to one of the buckles at her waist. “I want this.” She dipped her chin to brush a kiss over Lena’s lips. “Do you?” When Lena nodded, she whispered against her lips, “Help me…” 

Some of her embarrassment eased at the low moan that rumbled in the back of Lena’s throat as she continued to pepper her lips with a series of soft, barely-there kisses, and when the harness around her hips was tugged forward, she left it in Lean’s capable hands as she threaded both of her own into Lena’s hair and angled her face to claim her lips in a deep, searing kiss.

Lena pulled away with a gasp and muttered, “You are making it quite difficult to concentrate,” as her fingers danced over the curve of Kara’s hips.

Kara smiled against her lips, but before she could say anything, Lena’s tongue was in her mouth, and the straps that curved around her ass were being firmly yanked tight, molding the harness to her body. 

Oh. Wow. Okay.

She blinked her eyes open as Lena’s fingers drifted back to her waist, and pressed her forehead to Lena’s as she whispered, “Good?”

Lena’s gaze dropped, and Kara’s followed suit just in time to watch the palm of Lena’s right hand settle beneath the length of red silicone that jutted from her hips. Her breath caught as she watched Lena’s fingers curl around the shaft one by one in an utterly hypnotic and wholly indecent manner until she had it firmly in her grasp, and a delicious shiver tumbled down her spine when Lena’s hand slid down to the base, pressing it against her pubic bone.

“You tell me,” Lena husked as she pulled her hand back up along the shaft.

Kara groaned at the way it caused the strap that ran between her legs to rub against her clit, and admitted shakily, “Yeah. That’s…that’s good.” She licked her lips as she watched, utterly transfixed as Lena’s hand continued to languidly caress the toy strapped to her hips. “Do we…do we need some…” It wasn’t that she didn’t know or couldn’t say the word ‘lube’; it was just that words were really, really hard to come up with when she was watching Lena do that. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched Lena’s pinky curl around the tip, circling the head once, twice, three times before falling back into formation. “Rao…”

Lena huffed an affectionate little laugh and, with her hand that wasn’t effectively driving Kara to distraction, took Kara’s right hand and guided it between her legs. “What do you think?”

Kara’s eyes fluttered shut as her fingers sank into a veritable ocean of desire, and she stroked through it lightly, automatically matching the easy tempo Lena was using on her. The familiarity of touching Lena like this settled some of her nerves, and she dragged her lips over Lena’s temple and to whisper, “I think you’re perfect,” against her ear as she eased inside her. She smiled at the way Lena whimpered when she curled her fingers as she pulled out, and nipped at her earlobe as she reversed course to press as deep as she could.

“Jesus, Kara…”

The stupid harness might have thrown her for a loop, but this, this she knew. Touching Lena like this was something she would never tire of, no matter how many times she was blessed enough to be able to do it. She wrapped her left arm around Lena’s waist, holding her close as she retreated slowly, dragging firmly over hidden ridges, delighting in the warmth and the softness that surrounded her and the way Lena trembled in her arms. She pressed her lips to Lena’s ear as she thrust inside her again, letting her breath crash hotly against it in the way that made Lena’s pulse stutter and jump, and when she rocked the heel of her palm against Lena’s clit, murmured, “You feel so good.”

Lena whimpered and her grip tightened, tugging Kara’s hips forward. She wasn’t stroking it anymore, more just using it as a handhold, but Rao, Kara didn’t mind in the least. 

Affection bloomed in Kara’s chest as she rubbed her cheek against Lena’s, savoring the warmth of her skin, the quiet thunder of her heartbeat, and the delicious way her breath hitched when she touched her just right as she continued to work her up with slow, deep thrusts. “I could do this forever.” She kissed her cheek. “Just hold you close and touch you like this.”


The breathiness of Lena’s voice combined with the constant pressure of the strap between her legs was nearly enough to make Kara come right then, and she pulled Lena closer as she whispered, “What do you want, baby?”

“God…” The hard, heavy crash of Lena’s breath against her skin was electric, and there was a wanton edge to her voice when she whispered, “Pick me up,” that made Kara’s brain short-circuit 

She swallowed thickly as she pulled out completely to wrap her hands around the sweet, soft swell of Lena’s ass. “Put your arms around my neck.” When Lena complied, she pulled her close and tried to ignore the length of silicone pressed awkwardly between them as she hovered above the bed. “How’s this?”

Lena brushed a kiss over Kara’s neck, and her voice was exquisitely strained as she rasped, “Now, lay me down.”

Kara smiled and hefted Lena a bit higher so that she was resting above the strap, and her stomach flip-flopped at the way the new position caused soft, slick folds to rub against her skin. “Rao, I love how wet you get for me,” she breathed, so entranced by the feeling of Lena sliding against her skin that she barely noticed the way it made Lena moan as she dipped her head to claim Lena’s lips in a deep, searing kiss. She wrapped her right arm beneath Lena, so it was holding all of her weight, and then traced her left hand along Lena’s spine, dragging the backs of her nails along the curve so she could cradle her head in her left hand as she tipped her backward.

The press of Lena’s heels against her hamstrings was delicious, and Kara hummed happily when that pressure didn’t disappear when she tenderly lowered Lena to the bed. Their tongues stroked idly together as her knees settled onto the sheets, and she held herself up on extended arms as she sank into the kiss, reveling in the way Lena yielded so willingly to her touch. She shivered at the feeling of Lena’s right hand drifting from her neck to slip under the curve of her shoulder and caress her ribs as the tenor of their kisses changed and deepened, the spark of desire that had threatened to flicker out earlier erupting into a blaze.

“Kara…” Lena ground out as her hand curved around Kara’s waist, fingertips digging into soft skin hard enough to leave a mark if she’d been anyone else. “Please.”

Kara groaned and buried her face in the crook of Lena’s neck as she took a deep breath to steady herself. There was a quiet voice in the back of her head that still wondered if this was a good idea—it was easier for her to control her strength when she could feel Lena against her tongue or around her fingers—but that voice was mostly drowned out by the heavy pulse that throbbed between her legs. “You’ll tell me if I’m too rough?”

Lena, sweet Lena, nodded and pressed her cheek to the side of Kara’s head. “Just go slow.”

Kara squeezed her eyes shut as she focused on the steady patter of Lena’s heartbeat, so quick and sure and trusting, and then pushed herself up onto her hands so she could see what she was doing. The added benefit was that she was able to drink in the heavenly sight of Lena spread beneath her, dark hair spilling in tumultuous waves over soft white sheets, keen green eyes hooded with desire, full lips parted enticingly. Kara bit her lip as her eyes tracked lower, over full, exquisite breasts and half-peaked nipples that stiffened under her gaze, and along the supple swell of her belly to dark curls that were matted and glistening with desire.

She held her breath as she shifted her weight to her left hand so she could take the toy into her right, and dipped her hips enough that she was able to guide the head through the slick, swollen folds that waited for her. Lena’s hips jerked when she brushed it over her clit, and Kara pushed her knees out wider as she angled the head lower to retrace its path, dipping a bit deeper before sliding higher once more. The play of soft skin and silicone was unexpectedly erotic, and Kara lost herself in the sight of it as she continued to draw long, lazy lines through the length of her.

Her heart stopped when Lena’s hand curved around the wrist braced next to her shoulder, but it made up for those lost beats by stumbling into a sprint when she saw the naked desire etched into Lena’s expression as she whimpered, “Please, Kara.”

Kara nodded and pushed herself up a little higher so she could carefully angle the tip of the toy to where Lena needed it.

Lena’s hips bucked against the pressure, and she gasped, “I need you. Oh, god, please, Kara. I need you.” 

Oh, Rao… 

She swallowed thickly and, heart beating wildly in her throat, eased inside her. She watched Lena’s face carefully as she let go of the shaft to brace her weight on both of her hands as her hips took over the gentle thrust, and the world fell away as the hand on her wrist tightened, and Lena whispered encouragingly, “You feel so good.”

And, oh, while she couldn’t feel Lena, she could feel the way her body softened around the length of her with each thrust and the way she tightened in protest when she began to pull out, and it was magnificent. She licked her lips as she dipped her head to kiss her softly. She moaned against Lena’s lips as she drove her hips forward just that little bit harder, her clit pulsing needfully against the strap pressed against her, and nuzzled Lena’s cheek as she rolled her hips against Lena’s in a firm grind. “Okay?”

“So good.”

Her heart leapt and swelled at the hint of roughness that had crept into Lena’s voice, and she claimed her lips in a deep, probing kiss as she relaxed into the moment, her hips finding and matching the slow, steady rock of Lena’s until they were moving as one to the intimate music of ragged breaths, quiet moans, and murmured affections.

It was everything and nothing Kara had expected, and, as she rested her forehead against Lena’s so she could watch the way her rising pleasure darkened her eyes like the sky in the face of an oncoming storm, she felt her eyes sting with tears from the depth of her emotions. “I love you.”

Lena’s fingertips dug into Kara’s shoulders as she arched into her. “Love you.”

Kara shuddered against her as she pressed closer, grinding harder, rubbing herself selfishly against the strap between her legs as the heat that was building low in her hips begged to combust. She nipped at Lena’s lip as she pleaded in a broken whisper, “Come with me.”

And Lena—beautiful, perfect, amazing Lena—let out the most beautiful soft cry as she clenched around her, and Kara buried her face in the crook of her neck as she thrust once, twice, three more times in rapid succession before ecstasy swept over her as well. She sank into Lena, her hips rolling in slow, barely-there thrusts as they rode out their releases, and when her body had calmed and Lena went lax against her, her hips stilled and pressed her lips to Lena’s pulse point.

She wanted desperately to tell Lena how incredible what they’d just shared had been, but the only thing she could manage was a breathless, entirely awed, “Rao…”

And, maybe it was enough, because Lena laughed delightedly and turned her head to capture her lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. “Indeed.”