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Do I Wanna Know?

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Morgana always had a plan for everything. When her parents died in a car accident, back when she was fifteen, she had set the goal of her life: to make them proud. She had aimed high and here she is, ten years later, owning her own company. When Uther told her that she wouldn't make it, because she lacked experience, she had arched her eyebrow and smirked. Watch me, were her words. Now, she had united their companies, getting them along with Arthur to a whole new level of success. The risk of danger never scared her, only excited her. It had proved wise to jump into ring after ring of fire.

 

Up until now.

 

Morgana had a weakness: she liked to do things for herself, but she loved to prove to others her worth. A constant battle for sweet comments and words full of admiration. And she feared instability. Hell, for a person who got thrilled with the idea of danger, her fear was almost ridiculous.

 

The thing she most feared to do was to gain the courage to throw Gwaine out of her house. She had swore to her parents' memory -last time she had tried to herself but it clearly hadn't worked- that it would be the last time she would tolerate such behavior. No more cheating, no more sweet nothings and empty apologies. And that night was the end of them.

 

Of course, one month later, she's not exactly happy with her decision. Gwaine might be what he is, but still, he had been her boyfriend for the last five years. Her very first. But still, the exciting feeling of finally being able to enjoy sex and be offered pleasure equally to what she herself offered was enough to numb the foolish illusion of missing him. She is stronger than that, she knows she is.

 

And she likes to tell herself she's clever too. A woman her age wouldn't have accomplished what she had if she hadn't had even a tiny bit of cleverness in her. But, also, a woman like her shouldn't be right where she is now.

 

She had a feeling that she'd regret listening to Morgause's recommendation to join the club she had been working on.

 

''It'll be fun, you'll see. You can just try one session and then see if you're up for more. It's just sex anyway and you clearly are in need of a lot of that.''

 

She had first snored her way and refused her offer. But there she is, not even a week later, making her way to a room with a black door with red and silver writings on top, Morgause at her side.

 

''No need to be so nervous, sis. It's not like you're a virgin anyway.'', the blond woman lets out some smoke from her cigarette pass her painted lips and stops right in front of the door. ''You'll be waiting here for him to come. He'll help you adjust and you two can work on a schedule of sorts and discuss and turn ons and offs of yours. You got the papers, right?''

 

Morgana nods, unable to utter a word. Her sister smirks.

 

''Alright then. I'll be on my way, a hot businessman is waiting for his mistress.'', she offers her a cigarette, which she gladly accepts. Morgana is not one to smoke but in times like these, in times where her nervousness hits red, one or two is what she needs. Her sister smiles a mischievous smile. ''Be as perverted as you want, sis, no one's going to judge you. We're all freaks here anyway.''

 

The younger sister almost choked with her breath and glared at the older laughing one. With a sigh and a deep breath of determination, she makes her way into the room.

 

The room is big, comfortable and of course, red and black. A massive bed -which she would bet her right hand that it is also soft and nice- is positioned in the middle of it. She nears the desk with the two chairs and sits on top of it. She lays the papers in her hand on it, almost in fear that they might get ruined somehow, and lets her fingers run over her mask. It was given to her in chance she would want to wear it. Many wished to keep their identity a secret and she will probably wish the same.

 

She places it over her face and ties a knot behind her smooth hair. Then, she lets her eyes roam to the rest of the room. The wall was strange looking, almost similar to the one Kristian had in the red room in Fifty Shades of Grey. She finds it funny but keeps herself from giggling and decides to touch the strange looking things hanging from there. She doesn't know much but she knows that they're meant for ones pleasure. Probably.

 

Before she has the chance to feel them in her hands, the door opens and closes with a clicking sound. For a moment, she freezes. Then, she turns around, trying to come off as confident as she tries to force herself to believe she is. But then, she freezes once again.

 

''I hope I didn't keep you waiting for long, Kitty. I wouldn't dream of boring you, especially on a day like this.'', his voice is deep and smooth and familiar. Maybe too familiar. He's also wearing a mask, hiding most of his features, but still, she can see the faint scar on his left cheek from that time she had thrown a ball to his face after telling her that she was ''too short to play basketball'', which had resulted in him getting faced down on the hard ground.

 

Her palms is suddenly sweating too much for her own good. She's clearly hallucinating. It couldn't be. He hadn't even look her way, maybe they are too similar. She once had read that we look exactly like nine people in the world, it's just highly unlikely to meet them. Maybe one of his twins is closer than she thought, living right in England, where they live. And he also has a scar on his cheek. Yeah, that's it, she's so sure.

 

But then, when he also raises his eyes to her, the smile on his face freezes. His whole body freezes, his hand hangs over the papers on the desk. ''Do I-''

 

But then she flees and he can do nothing about it.

 

The first time ends in a disaster. She can't bring herself to face him for a whole week after that, until he basically kidnaps her. She squirms and shouts names, while being over his shoulder, but he seems to be numb and deaf.

 

The ride to her home is silent until he can't take anymore.

 

''I know it was you and there's no need to feel embarrassed. It's normal to want to... experiment in sex and that you don't want to get into a serious relationship right after getting out of one but... I just got by surprise. I didn't know it would be you that I'd have to... You know...''

 

She knows. And she's sure that Morgause knew of this. In fact, she's sure that it was her plan to get them together. Morgause and her stupid habit in playing cupid.

 

He breaks the awkward silence once again. ''Kitty huh? I should have guessed that it was you... Not that it isn't common but it should have ringed a bell at least.''

 

She smiles at that, only for a moment. She still doesn't know why she chose his nickname as her secret name. He's the only one calling her like that and he only does it to annoy her. It annoys her! But, somehow, it felt strangely comforting to use a name that meant something for her, even if it annoyed her.

 

When he parks outside her house, a lingering silence falls over them. Her lips is almost bloody from all the biting they have endured during the ride and his finger keeps tapping on the wheel, a habit of him when nervous.

 

''Please, don't stop coming to the club. I-I'll ask them to assign you another tutor. It'll be good for you, I know it will.'', he keeps his eyes low, almost shyly. ''If it makes you feel more comfortable, I can also recommend a few other clubs so you won't have to even see-''

 

She stops him with a hand over his. He swallows when she hands him the papers -she had been carrying them with her, in her back and she couldn't even tell why-, but makes no sound. With an unexpected act of confidence, she leans over and plants a kiss on his cheek. His face paints red but she doesn't mock him, as she would do any other time.

 

''See you tomorrow night at the same time.'', she just tells him and hurries out the car and to her house in fast steps. When she closes the door behind her, a deep exhausted sigh leaves her lips before she can help it.

 

If she is to find pleasure, let it be with someone she was close with.

 

The second time ends in shaking hands and shy smiles. It will be difficult and strange and she senses the danger it holds.

 

At day, they would be working as partners. At night, he would be giving her unimaginable pleasure, helping her to get to know her sexual side.

 

But they are willing to try it. They're adults, anyway, and he's Arthur. It's not like they will fall in love. Just sex and pleasure.

 

Right?