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Do you believe in Magic? (I believe in You)

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Two souls don't find each other by simple accident  

atticus

 

For as long as Yoongi can remember, he has been surrounded by trees and soft winds. For as long as he can remember, he has held a paintbrush between his fingers. For as long as he can remember, he has been alone. 

It’s one of those quiet days where he sits atop a hill that overlooks the vast landscape. Plump, white clouds litter the sky and the sun shines upon the mountain tops and on the waterfall that gushes with fresh water. Yoongi is grateful that it has never rained here. He wouldn’t be able to paint if it rained, afterall, Yoongi only painted landscapes during the day out in the sun.

The canvas that sits beside him is not too big and not too small, it’s the perfect size. The acrylic paint glistens on the pallet that rests on his hand and his brushes are clean and ready to be used to create another picture. 

Yoongi loves painting the sky. It’s forever changing. Every day there’s something new to discover in the sky.  It fills his quiet days with wonder and he never grows bored. He loves being alone in this world of his, where no one can reach him or find him. It’s just him and his endless supply of paints and canvases. 

He loves the peace and quiet. He’s content with the way things are and he never wants things to change. And they’re not going to. Nothing but the sky changes here. 

Or so he thought. 

☆☆☆

Today, Yoongi’s painting the river and the many colourful flowers and shrubs that lined the riverbank. Butterflies flutter about in the sky and the chirping of birds sounds like music to his ears. 

The water of the river is clear, crisp. He can see all the bright fish swim about, hues of oranges and red flash across his vision. Once he has completed painting the river, he eyes his painting for a long time. 

Something is missing, but he’s not quite sure what. He has never experienced this feeling before. This feeling of emptiness. All of his completed paintings have brought him a sense of euphoria -- a sense of feeling whole. But as he looks at this painting in front of him, all he feels is hollow. 

Then something strange happens. His hand moves on its own and he’s adding something onto the canvas. Not something, but someone. 

Yoongi has never painted people. He has never found people as beautiful as the sky or as beautiful as the leaves on trees. Yet, he’s painting a person now.

The person that’s coming to be on his canvas sits atop the river bank with their feet buried in the water. They’re smiling. A bright smile that seems to shine more than the sun. Their hair is a rich brown and their skin is like the sweetest honey. Yoongi doesn’t find people beautiful. 

But.  

This person is beautiful. 

“Who are you?” Yoongi whispers to himself as he takes in the features that adorn the person’s face. They look so real. Too real that Yoongi has to look away because he feels as if the person is staring right back at him. “It’s just a painting,” Yoongi reassures himself. 

He carefully places the canvas under a tree where the paint can dry. He’ll be back for it tomorrow. 

For now, he goes home. 

As always, he sleeps peacefully. But this time, he dreams. Yoongi never dreams. But today, he dreams of brown hair and even browner eyes. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi’s body is heavy — something is weighing him down. He grumbles in his sleep, blindly moving his arms about and trying to push off whatever it is disturbing his sleep. 

Ow,” someone whines. 

Wait. 

Someone ?

Yoongi’s eyes shoot open and he shrieks. He kicks his legs out and scrambles back. A person tumbles to the floor, holding a hand against his nose. 

Who are you?” Yoongi’s voice cracks with fear. There’s a person on his bedroom floor. An actual human being. A man. He hasn’t seen anyone in years. “Who the hell are you?”

The man’s eyebrows scrunch together. “You hurt my nose. Apologize.” 

Yoongi stares in complete silence. The man drops his hand, only to wave, “Hi. I’m your new best friend!”

What– ” The man stands only to jump back onto the bed, cornering Yoongi against the headboard. A scream gets caught in Yoongi’s throat, “ Who– you’re – you’re–"

“Your new best friend!" the man claps his hands together. 

The painting. It’s the same person Yoongi painted. Who is he? How did he get into Yoongi’s house? Why did Yoongi paint a man he has never met until now?

“Where did you come from?” Yoongi asks, cringing further back into the headboard, “ Where did you come from?”

“Oh, just here and there,” the man waves his hand dismissively and pulls Yoongi’s wrist, causing him to stumble out of bed. “Let’s eat breakfast, I’m hungry.” 

Yoongi has no idea what the hell is going on. Maybe he’s dreaming. He has to be. He'll wake up sooner or later. He'll just play along for now. 

"Oooh," the man whistles. "You have a lot of things in your fridge." 

"I like cooking," Yoongi shrugs, "and the food never runs out." 

"It never runs out?" the other cocks his head. 

"No," Yoongi says, "what's your name?" 

"Hoseok." 

Hoseok .

Now that Yoongi's looking at Hoseok properly, he notices that the white silky shirt he's wearing is the exact copy of the one Yoongi painted yesterday. 

So this is a dream. 

Yoongi lets out a breath of relief. Thank god. He doesn't like people in the slightest. At least this one in front of him is a figment of his imagination. 

"Since you like cooking," Hoseok grins — it's blinding. "Would you cook for me, please?" 

Yoongi rubs at his eyes. Although this is just a dream, everything feels too real. He feels exactly how he does when he just wakes up, "Can I brush my teeth first?" 

"Nope," Hoseok chirps and ruffles Yoongi's already messy bed hair. "I'm hungry now."

Yoongi grumbles and digs out ingredients from the fridge. He wonders if, once he makes Hoseok breakfast, he'll be able to wake up from this weird dream. Like this is some sort of quest or something. 

Hoseok sits on one of the high bar stools, swinging his legs from side to side and using his hands to propel the chair to spin in place. "You're going to break it," Yoongi scolds, " stop it."  

"Sorry," Hoseok says in a small voice and pouts, his fluffy brown hair falling into his chocolate eyes. He sits on his hands to avoid using them to spin again. Yoongi finds it endearing. 

Which is weird. 

Yoongi does not like people at all. But this is just a dream and Hoseok is just an exception. 

"I don't like garlic," Hoseok frowns when he spots the clove in Yoongi's hand. "It tastes gross." 

Who doesn't eat garlic? Garlic is used in every good dish. Yoongi's starting to think this is a nightmare. Because, who the fuck doesn't eat garlic? 

Yoongi keeps his distaste to himself and puts the clove back in the fridge. "You eat rice, though? Right ?" 

Hoseok laughs hysterically. His hand hits the counter and his eyes form into crescents. "Who doesn't eat rice?" 

"You don't eat garlic," Yoongi points out. " Anything is possible with you." 

"Garlic is gross," Hoseok mumbles, "it tastes like soil." 

"You've eaten soil before?" Yoongi cocks a brow. 

"No," Hoseok's cheeks and the tip of his ears become rosie from embarrassment. Yoongi has the sudden urge to paint him. "I just think if I were to eat soil, it would definitely taste like garlic."

What a peculiar dream, Yoongi thinks. 

"You'll leave once I make you something, won't you?" Yoongi asks, hopeful. 

"Where would I go?" Hoseok pokes Yoongi's nose. "Don't ask silly questions." 

Yoongi's confusion only grows more. 

He can't wait to wake up. 

"Can I help with anything?" Hoseok hops off the bar stool and stands by the stove next to Yoongi. For a figment of Yoongi's imagination, the heat radiating off Hoseok feels all too real. 

"No," Yoongi shakes his head, "I don't need any help."

Yoongi has never needed help. It has always been him and him alone. That's how it has always been and how it will always be. He likes it that way. He doesn't like anyone in his space. 

"Not even a little?" Hoseok wiggles his brows, "I could even pass you a spoon or something?" 

"No," Yoongi rubs his temples, irritated. "Go sit down." 

Hoseok's shoulders deflate and he drags his feet back to where he was sitting. He rests his chin in his palms and sighs. "You're no fun." 

Yoongi rolls his eyes and searches for rice in the pantry. " Wait," Hoseok gasps. "You're making rice for breakfast? I wanted something more breakfasty … like pancakes." 

"This is as breakfasty as it gets," Yoongi glares and Hoseok looks like a kicked puppy. "Don't look at me like that." 

"Why not?" 

"Because then I'll feel bad." 

"Oh," Hoseok bats his lashes and puckers his lips into an adorable pout. "That means it's working and soon you'll be making me pancakes!" 

Yoongi's stubborn. He has always been stubborn. "No, we're eating egg fried rice and that's final. Alright?" 

"You're bossy," Hoseok starts spinning on the chair again. "So bossy." 

Yoongi grinds his teeth together. "You're going to break the chair–" 

"Oops," Hoseok raises his hands up in mock surrender. "Sorry." 

He doesn't sound sorry at all. Instead, he's grinning, his dark brown eyes glitter and his cheeks are flushed a pretty pink. 

His nose is perfectly straight and his cheekbones sit high and lovely on his face. This is how Yoongi knows it's a dream because he has never seen anyone so beautiful. 

Yoongi mutters a 'whatever' and gets on with making breakfast. He cracks two eggs in a bowl and adds flour and milk into the mixture. 

"You're making pancakes," Hoseok hums. "Thank you." 

Yoongi's cheeks heated up. He's not used to being thanked so genuinely. "I just decided to make pancakes because I felt for them," he says, avoiding Hoseok's amused glance. "I didn't do this for you." 

"If you say so." 

They fall silent after that, but Hoseok can't sit still. If he's not spinning in the chair, he's tapping his fingers on the counter, playing with his hands, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt or twirling his hair around his finger. 

However, Yoongi doesn't find it annoying (except the chair spinning thing because his chair is going to break ). Instead, he finds it comforting. Yoongi has similar habits where he can never sit still unless he's occupying himself with a task. 

People used to think he was weird for doing so and would tell him to stop. He'd have to always apologize and shrink in on himself because of their annoyed glares. 

"You can busy yourself with setting the table and taking out the maple syrup," Yoongi gives him a knowing smile. "I'm almost done making the last few pancakes." 

Hoseok brightens at that and hops off the stool excitedly. He follows Yoongi's directions and finds the plates and cutlery. Yoongi watches as Hoseok carefully places the plates on the small round table of the dining room. 

Everything in Yoongi's house is minimal. The furniture is all different shades of earthy brown and it's big enough to be comfortable for one person. 

There are large windows that take up most of the walls that reveal the outside world which has nothing but trees and flowers. Even when he's inside, it feels like he's outside under the sun painting. 

He loves his home. He's going to stay here forever. Undisturbed and happy. 

He places the hot pancakes in between them and takes a seat across Hoseok. Hoseok licks his lips and dishes five onto his plate. "Wait," Hoseok raises his hand and stops Yoongi from dishing for himself. "I'll make you a special pancake." 

Yoongi gives him a skeptical look but his curiosity gets the best of him. "Special?" 

"You'll see!" 

Hoseok's 'special' pancakes turn out to consist of lots of fresh cream, cinnamon, fresh strawberries and banana slices. There's really nothing special about it, honestly. It's quite ordinary. 

"I call it the Hobi pancake!" He passes it to Yoongi and smiles, bashful. "Tell me your thoughts." 

Although it's quite ordinary, it's one of the best things Yoongi has ever tasted. After the first bite, he quickly gobbles up the rest. "Is it good?" Hoseok's smiling wide. God, that smile. 

Yoongi nods mutely but it's enough for Hoseok. Hoseok makes him another and then another. But Yoongi doesn't protest, he keeps eating them as they come. 

"Aw," Hoseok pouts, looking at the last few pancakes. "They're almost finished." 

"I'll make more," Yoongi offers, "if you want." 

Hoseok shakes his head and his pretty lips curl into a soft smile. "Maybe tomorrow." 

Tomorrow. 

How long is this dream going to last? 

☆☆☆

It has been hours. Hoseok is still here and Yoongi hasn't woken up. 

"I'm bored," Hoseok whines and throws himself over Yoongi's lap. "Aren't you bored?"

Yoongi scoots away from Hoseok and to the other faraway corner of the couch. "No." 

Yoongi's far from bored. He's enjoying his coffee and reading one of his favorite novels. His patience is growing thin because he just wants to wake up from this dream

"We've been sitting here forever," Hoseok lies back and stares at the ceiling. "Can't we go somewhere for fresh air?"

Actually, some fresh air does sound nice. 

Yoongi snaps his book closed and drinks the last bit of his coffee. He finds his shoes by the entryway and confusion clouds his mind when he sees another pair next to his. A smaller pair.

Hoseok comes up behind him and ahs, "There they are!"

He slips on the smaller pair and smiles. "Let's go!" 

This dream is… this is so weird. Wrong. Everything feels too real. 

"Yoongi?" Hoseok opens the door and offers his hand. "Let's go?" 

Yoongi doesn't know why he takes Hoseok's offered hand. He doesn't really understand anything that's happening. 

The only thing he knows for certain is that Hoseok's hand is warm. 

And it fits perfectly into his. 

☆☆☆

They're at the river that Yoongi painted. The one where he added Hoseok into his canvas. 

"Everything here is so beautiful," Hoseok says, turning around and drinking the scenery in.

Yoongi can't take his eyes off of him. "Yes. Everything here is beautiful." 

"What's that?" Hoseok skips over to a tree that offers shade. He picks up the painting Yoongi left to dry. "Oh, it's a painting." 

Yoongi looks over his work and his lips part. It's his painting but… Hoseok is no longer a part of it. It's as if he was never there in the first place. 

What a weird dream. 

Hoseok's fingers gently trail across the ridges of the dried paint. Yoongi wants to paint those slender fingers. "Yoongi?" 

"Yes…?" 

"Do you believe in magic?" 

Yoongi laughs. "Magic? Are you serious?" 

"Yes," Hoseok smiles. "I'm serious." 

Yoongi searches Hoseok's face for a hint of humor. This has to be some sort of joke. But he comes up short. Hoseok's eyes are clear and he's patiently waiting for an answer. 

"No," Yoongi plops down on the grass and stretches out his legs, resting his back against the thick trunk of the tree. "Magic isn't real."

"Why do you think so?" Hoseok carefully places the painting back and sits beside him. They're almost too close for Yoongi's comfort. 

"I only believe things that I can see," Yoongi hums, "I haven't seen magic yet, so I don't believe in it." 

"You haven't seen magic?" Hoseok cocks his head, a questioning glint in his deep brown eyes. "How can you say that?" 

Yoongi scoffs, ridiculous. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You don't think any of this is magical?" Hoseok gestures towards the trees and the sparkling lake. "Magic is all around us. Everything has magic in them." 

What an optimistic way to think of things. But Yoongi has to disagree. "Everything? Even in people?" 

"Of course!" Hoseok grins, his warm hands grasping Yoongi's colder ones. "You're magical. Everything you create is magical too. Like your paintings. Magic."

Despite Yoongi finding this conversation all sorts of ridiculous, he smiles. 

"There's magic in everything," Hoseok continues, "you just have to look for it." 

Specks of light trickle through the leaves above them and shine on Hoseok's hair. Under the sun, he's almost angelic. His hair has streaks of gold in them and his eyes… his eyes are like constellations that Yoongi wouldn't mind studying for the rest of his life. 

Yoongi may not believe in magic or Hoseok's words. But if he did, he'd think he's looking at that magic Hoseok so desperately believes in. 

"There's magic in everything," Hoseok repeats, softer now. He's searching the sky but Yoongi doesn't know what he could be looking for. "There's magic in your favourite colours, in your coffee that you like to drink. There's magic in the books you read and the people you fall in love with."

"I've never fallen in love with anyone," Yoongi says offhandedly. He has never loved anyone and he has never imagined himself falling in love with anyone either. The fact doesn't upset him in the slightest. 

He's content with what he has now. Love has never been on his mind. It has never been something he craves or needs. It's just simply something that he doesn't have. 

"Me neither," Hoseok laughs. It's a wonderful laugh. Yoongi almost loves it as much as he loves the sound of the birds that wake him up every morning. "But if I did, I think it would be magical." 

A breath of fresh air. That's what Hoseok is. For a brief moment, a part of Yoongi wishes this dream would last a little longer. 

"Your hair is pretty," Hoseok says, tucking a loose strand behind Yoongi's ear. "It's magical." 

"You like that word too much," Yoongi mutters, his cheeks blushing. "But thank you."

Hoseok smiles softly. Yoongi only notices the dark mole on his lip then. "For a figment of my imagination, you look very real." 

"You think I'm a figment of your imagination?" Hoseok giggles. "Hmm. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm magic." 

Yoongi rolls his eyes and huffs. "Maybe you should find a different word." 

"Or maybe you should take a leap of faith and believe," Hoseok lightly pokes Yoongi's nose. "Just a suggestion though." 

"A terrible one." 

"Maybe," Hoseok plays with Yoongi's fingers in his lap. "But it's better than believing that you're a figment of my imagination." 

Yoongi doesn't understand Hoseok's words in the slightest. He's the one that's a figment of Yoongi's imagination, it's not the other way around. But then Hoseok says, "It'll suck if you're not real, Yoongi. I've never met someone that could make pancakes as nice as you." 

Not real? 

"What–" Yoongi tries to find the right words to say. "What are you talking about?" 

"I've been alone for a long time," Hoseok's bright smile falters on the edges. "I finally have someone to talk to. I'm glad that it's you." 

Yoongi's been alone for a long time too. But he has never wished for someone to talk to.

None of this makes sense. 

Yoongi can't wait to wake up from this dream. 

☆☆☆

It's nearing night time now. Yoongi wonders if dreams are supposed to last and feel this long. 

Hoseok's swinging on one of the barstools again. "You're going to break it–" 

"Why is it made like this then?" Hoseok challenges. "If it turns then it's made for spinning around." 

Yoongi groans, massaging his temples. "When will I wake up?" 

"You are awake," Hoseok looks at him, incredulous. "Are you okay? Maybe you hit your head on something." 

Perhaps Yoongi did hit his head on something. That's why this dream makes little to no sense. Maybe he has a concussion and his imagination is running wild. Why else would the boy that he painted be here? Why would he be here spouting nonsense about magic and asking for pancakes and spinning in his favorite chair? 

"Ah," Hoseok yawns, stretching out his arms. "I'm tired." Yoongi's tired too. Is it possible to feel tired in a dream? "Let's go to sleep!" 

Hoseok grabs Yoongi's hand and drags him to the bedroom. "Wah- wait ," Yoongi stutters out. "Let's? As in together?" 

"Obviously," Hoseok pouts and crosses his arms over his chest. "Where will I sleep then? There's no other bed."

Yoongi wants to dig himself a hole to rest in and never get out. Can this dream get any worse? 

"You can sleep on the couch," Even though this is a dream, Yoongi would still prefer to sleep alone. "This is my bed." 

Hoseok ruffles Yoongi's hair. "Okay. You can sleep here tonight and tomorrow I'll sleep here. Deal?" 

There isn't going to be a tomorrow, Yoongi wants to say. "Fine, whatever. Now leave me alone to sleep." 

Hoseok skips away, shutting the door behind him. Yoongi flops over the bed and groans into the sheets. 

He can't wait to wake up from this dream. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi doesn't wake up from this dream. Instead he wakes up to a steaming cup of coffee and vanilla biscuits. 

"You like coffee, right?" Hoseok's smiling from ear to ear, plopping himself beside Yoongi on the bed. "I hope you like it the way I made it." 

Yoongi blinks.  

What the fuck? 

"Drink it!" Hoseok whines and pokes Yoongi's arm repeatedly. "It's going to get cold."

Yoongi presses the cup to his lips and takes a small sip. He winces. Too sweet. "Uh. It's good." 

"You're lying," Hoseok pouts, his pretty eyes drooping. "What's wrong with it?" 

"Too much sugar," Yoongi mumbles, "I don't usually have sugar in my coffee." 

Hoseok snatches the cup from Yoongi's hands and scuttles away. "I'll make you a better cup. Just hold on!" 

Yoongi stares blankly at the open door. 

What the fuck? 

This is a dream right

It has to be. 

If it isn't, where the hell would Hoseok have come from? There are no people here. 

Yoongi slaps his cheeks. "It's just a dream." 

Hoseok comes back a couple of minutes later, a new cup of coffee cradled in his slender hands. Yoongi has never found beauty in hands before… but Hoseok's hands are beautiful. 

"Try this," Hoseok passes him the cup. He stares at Yoongi with hopeful eyes. "How is it?" 

Yoongi takes a sip and sighs. "Yeah. It's perfect." 

And it is. A perfect cup of coffee always brightens Yoongi's days. 

Hoseok ruffles Yoongi's hair. "Your bed hair is cute." 

Despite this being a dream, Yoongi's blush feels too real. 

"Have some of these," Hoseok places a small plate in front of him. "I made you vanilla biscuits." 

"You made them?" 

"You're a heavy sleeper. You didn't hear me baking at all earlier." Hoseok laughs. He's always laughing too much. Or Yoongi's just not used to hearing laughter in his home. "Anyways! Try them!" 

The biscuit melts in Yoongi's mouth and he sees stars. "Wow." 

"That good, huh?" Hoseok takes a biscuit for himself and grins. "I'll make them for you again one day." 

One day. 

As if there's going to be more days where they spend time together. 

This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream. 

"Hey," Hoseok pokes Yoongi's nose. "What are you thinking about?" 

"I'm thinking about how this dream is lasting too long and how things feel too real," Yoongi says honestly. 

"Ahh," Hoseok dusts a crumb off Yoongi's chin. "You can think and worry about that or you can just enjoy it." 

"Just enjoy it?" Yoongi doesn't understand. "Why would I do that?" 

"Because," Hoseok's lips curl into a gentle smile. "If this is a dream, then you'd wake up sooner or later. But if it isn't, then at least you made a new friend. Hmm? So what's there to worry about? Just enjoy it, Yoongi." 

"But–" 

"It'll cost you nothing to just enjoy yourself," Hoseok says, passing Yoongi another biscuit. "You'll regret it if you don't enjoy these little moments." 

Hoseok is odd. He has a weird way of thinking of things. He savours every little moment because to him magic is buried within those moments. 

Yoongi doesn't understand how someone can be so optimistic – so open to enjoying every single thing life has to offer. 

"You're thinking too hard again," Hoseok combs through Yoongi's fringe with his fingers. "Just enjoy it, Yoongi." 

Perhaps Yoongi should try enjoying it. Because, Hoseok is right. If this is a dream, which it is, Yoongi is going to wake up sooner or later. What's the point of dwelling on every detail? 

"Okay," Yoongi hums, "I'll try." 

Hoseok smiles then. It's a different kind of smile from his usual ones. 

This one is sad. Lonely, almost. 

"I'll try as well," Hoseok says. 

Yoongi doesn't understand what that may mean, but he brushes it off because this is a dream and he's going to wake up sooner or later. 

☆☆☆

After that, the days go by in a blink of an eye. 

They live side by side and start a routine together. It's different to what Yoongi's used to but he supposes that that's what dreams are about. A change. Something different. 

Every morning Yoongi wakes up to a perfect cup of coffee and Hoseok's warm smile. Yoongi makes breakfast and Hoseok makes dinner. 

As Yoongi promised, he sleeps on the couch some days and Hoseok takes the bed on some other days. 

And every single day, without fail, Yoongi shouts at Hoseok about breaking the chair and every time Hoseok only laughs and repeats the action the next day. 

Hoseok talks a lot about nothing and about everything. Yoongi should find it annoying. But he doesn't. 

Hoseok stays glued to him and hardly leaves his side. Yoongi should find it annoying. But he doesn't. 

Yoongi has never needed or wanted companionship. 

But somehow, he's starting to enjoy it. 

Even if this is only a dream. 

☆☆☆

"You really love painting, don't you?" Hoseok peeps over Yoongi's shoulder and woah s at the canvas. 

"Yes. I always have." 

Today, Yoongi's painting all sorts of flowers. A field with vibrant colours and clear skies. 

"Can you add in some sunflowers?" Hoseok asks, batting his lashes. "They're my favorite flowers." 

Yoongi frowns. "I don't think they'd fit in with the rest of the flowers..." 

The flowers on his newest painting are small and large sunflowers would be too out of place. But Hoseok's pouting and Yoongi has a hard time denying him. 

"Okay. I'll add some sunflowers," he says. 

Hoseok grins. "Can you add some bees too?" 

Yoongi should say no. He should definitely say no. 

"Yes," Yoongi huffs. "Anything else?" 

"Butterflies." 

" Anything else?" 

"Hmmm," Hoseok strokes his non-existent beard. "What about some dragonflies?" 

Again, Yoongi should definitely say no. 

"Yeah… okay."

"Thank you," Hoseok ruffles Yoongi's hair. He loves doing that. "You're the best." 

Yoongi ducks his head to try and hide his reddening cheeks. He waves his hand and grumbles, "Go away now. I need some quiet."

Hoseok claps his hands together. "Okay! I'll go make you something to snack on in the meantime!" 

Hoseok skips away, his dark hair bouncing and shining underneath the sunlight. He stops in his tracks, only to look over his shoulder and smile wide. He waves his hands erratically. "Goodluck Yoongi! I'll miss you in the meantime!" 

Beautiful. 

Hoseok's beautiful. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi comes back to freshly sliced watermelons and strawberries. There are also cheese slices with sprinkles of pepper. 

"You have paint on your face," Hoseok licks his thumb and wipes away at Yoongi's cheek, smiling. "Have you finished the painting already?" 

"Uh… No," Yoongi could get lost in Hoseok's forest brown eyes. "I got thirsty so…" 

"Ah!" Hoseok opens the fridge. "You like apple juice right?"

"How… How did you know?" Yoongi's not quite sure if he ever told Hoseok that apple juice is his favorite. 

"Your fridge is full of it," Hoseok laughs. "All you drink is coffee and apple juice, Yoongi." Hoseok isn't wrong. But Yoongi pouts anyway. "You're so cute." 

"I'm not," Yoongi bites into a watermelon slice. "Mmm." 

"It's good?" Hoseok wriggles his nose. "I don't like watermelons much." 

"First you don't like garlic and now you don't like watermelons," Yoongi's face contorts with disgust. "For a figment of my imagination, you're tasteless." 

"For a figment of my imagination," Hoseok starts, a glint in his eyes. "You like coffee too much and I hate it." 

It's those words again that Yoongi doesn't understand. Hoseok's a figment of his imagination, it's not the other way around. 

But before Yoongi can think about it more and ask what Hoseok may mean, the other is already changing the subject. 

"So when did you start painting?" Hoseok pours Yoongi a tall glass of apple juice. "What made you want to paint?" 

"I've just always liked it," Yoongi shrugs. "My mother bought me an art set when I was five years old and yeah… I just kept on asking for more supplies as I grew up." 

"And your parents were okay with it? It's nice that they supported your passion," Hoseok smiles. 

"They were," Yoongi lowers his gaze to the watermelon slice in his hand. His fingers are stained a light pink. "They both died in an accident. I had to live with my aunt after that… and she didn't really support my interests." 

It's too silent for Yoongi's liking. Hoseok always has something to say, but for once he's silent. 

"It's not a big deal," Yoongi mumbles, "I'm over it now." 

Truth is, he has never gotten over it. Having the only people you've ever cared for snatched from you so suddenly is terrifying . It's not something you can easily recover from. 

"Say something," Yoongi lets out an annoyed breath. " Anything ."

His eyes flick up to Hoseok's. 

Hoseok is staring at him with an expression that Yoongi doesn't quite understand. Perhaps it's pity. He wouldn't be surprised if it were. He has always been regarded with pity by others. It only pisses him off. 

"Just forget it," Yoongi scoffs and turns on his heel. "Just–"

Hoseok's hand encircles his wrist and he envelopes Yoongi in a hug. " Wha-what are you doing?" 

"Losing a parent is hard, isn't it? But losing two is… " Hoseok's words are soft against his ear. "I lost my father to cancer when I was younger and my mother was just never in the picture."

Oh

Now, Yoongi understands the expression that lined Hoseok's face. 

Empathy. Understanding. 

But he's just a dream. Hoseok is just a dream– 

Of course he's just a dream. 

Because no one has ever understood Yoongi. 

Yoongi's hands tighten in Hoseok's shirt and he buries his face in his chest. "I wish you were real." 

"Do you believe in magic, Yoongi?" Hoseok asks this question every single day. 

Yoongi always answers the same. "I don't." 

"Hmm," Hoseok squeezes Yoongi tight. Hoseok's warm, so warm. "Maybe when all of this is over, you will." 

Yoongi doesn't want this to be over. 

Yoongi wants to be with Hoseok a little longer. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi just had a shower and he's running a towel through his wet hair. "What's for dinner–" 

But Hoseok isn't in the bedroom waiting for him. Hoseok's always waiting for him. 

Mild panic rises in Yoongi's chest. Where is he? 

He throws the towel over his shoulder and near sprints out of the room. He opens every door of the house only to be welcomed by silence. 

He hears the sound of humming coming from his art room and relief floods his system like a violent wave. 

Hoseok's looking at one of the many paintings strung on the wall. He looks over his shoulder and smiles. "Your paintings are so– Yoongi? What's wrong?" 

"I thought you were gone–

Hoseok cups Yoongi's cheeks and lightly squeezes them. "Silly. Where would I even go?" 

Yoongi doesn't know what to say to that. Where would Hoseok go? There are no people here. There's nothing but trees and forests and lakes. 

He'd only go once Yoongi wakes up from this dream. 

"Your hair is wet," Hoseok tsk s and takes the towel and ruffles Yoongi's hair with it. "You're going to make the floors wet and slip." 

Hoseok's gentle as he dries Yoongi's hair. He has always been gentle. With the way he holds a cup between his fingers and on the rare occasions where he holds onto Yoongi’s hands like they're made of glass. 

"What were you doing in here?" Yoongi says in a soft voice as Hoseok continues to dry the damp strands of his hair. 

"Just looking," Hoseok smiles. He's always smiling. "Although seeing all these magical paintings makes me want to paint myself." 

Magical. 

Hoseok thinks everything Yoongi does is magical. 

"Too bad I don't know how to paint," Hoseok pouts adorably. "We could have painted together." 

"Do you… want to try?" Yoongi fidgets with his fingers. "It's not hard." 

"You'd let me use your paint?" Hoseok eyes soften. 

Yoongi doesn't even hesitate. "Yes." 

Truth is, Yoongi wouldn't let anyone use his paint. But Hoseok isn't just anyone. He's the boy that came to life from Yoongi's painting. He's the boy with constellations for eyes and the warmest hands Yoongi's ever felt. 

"Okay!" Hoseok lights up. "Let's paint!" 

Soon, Yoongi's clearing more space to place another easel beside his own for Hoseok. He chooses a large canvas for Hoseok to work on because he doesn't want Hoseok to feel too restricted when painting. 

"What should I paint on this…?" Hoseok looks at the many colours of acrylic paints and chooses all the different shades of yellow. Yoongi's not surprised in the slightest. "Ah! I want to make a sunflower!" 

Seconds later he pouts. "How do I make a sunflower?"

Yoongi can't help the smile that curls his lips. "How about I draw a sunflower for you and you paint it?" 

Hoseok nods, ecstatic. "Yes, please."

Yoongi works quickly. The strokes of pencil shaping into a sunflower in minutes. Hoseok watches with wide, glittering eyes. Yoongi wants to paint those eyes. 

"You're amazing, Yoongi." 

Yoongi's neck and cheeks burn with embarrassment. Hoseok's so genuine. Yoongi never realized how badly he craved genuine praise until now. "Thank you." 

Yoongi passes a clean palette to Hoseok. "When you use the paints, only squeeze out a little bit at a time on here so that you don't waste too much paint." 

Hoseok nods, listening carefully to the rest of the instructions Yoongi tells him. Yoongi gives him a new apron as well, one that hasn't been messed with stains of various paints. 

"My apron looks boring," Hoseok frowns, looking between their aprons. "Mine doesn't have any paint on it." 

Yoongi laughs. "It'll get there, don't worry. Well that's if you want to keep painting…" 

"If I get to spend more time with you, then yes," Hoseok chirps. "I'll definitely want to keep painting."  

Yoongi ducks his head. God, Hoseok is too embarrassing. Too honest for his own good. 

Hoseok's about to pick up a paintbrush when he says, "Oh wait. I was supposed to make dinner–" 

"It's okay," Yoongi says, "I'll make dinner. You can start this in the meantime." 

"Are you sure?" 

Thing is. Yoongi's only been sure of a few things in his life. He's only felt sure about himself. He's never been sure of other people. 

But Hoseok… 

Hoseok isn't other people. 

"Yes," he squeezes Hoseok's shoulder on his way out of the art room. "Just call me if you need help with anything." 

"I will," Hoseok grins. "I'm going to paint the best sunflower ever, just you wait." 

Yoongi believes him. 

If anyone were to paint the best sunflower, it would be Hoseok. 

☆☆☆

"How's it going?" Yoongi peeps into the room about an hour after leaving Hoseok to paint. 

Hoseok jolts at the sudden interruption and laughs awkwardly. He looks over his shoulder with a strained smile. 

"Aha… everything is fine." His voice comes out squeaky with a hint of panic. "How's it going for you?" 

Yoongi's eyes narrow. "Everything okay?" 

"Yes!" He answers too quickly, "Why wouldn't everything be okay?" 

Yoongi takes a few steps forward and Hoseok curls in on himself. "Uh… Uhm…" 

"What happened?" Yoongi puts a hand on Hoseok's shoulder. "Did you get hurt or something?" 

"Nuh- no ," Hoseok shakes his head like a wet dog. "No. Nothing like that–"

"Then what's wrong?" 

"Nothing!" Hoseok is hiding something in his lap. Yoongi has no idea what it could be to make the other freak out like this. 

"Show me," Yoongi tries to turn Hoseok around to face him but Hoseok is like iron and stays put. " Hoseok–" 

"Okay, before you get mad," Hoseok's words fall from his lips in a hurry, "I didn't mean to do it. Okay? It just happened and I'm sorry. I deserve to sleep outside and you can hate me but please don't hate me. I like you a lot and you're my friend and I love having friends and you and me are friends right? I think we're friends at least. Anyways please don't hate–"

Yoongi promptly shuts Hoseok up by slapping a hand over his mouth. "Calm down," Yoongi says, "take a deep breath and tell me what happened." 

Hoseok does just that. He inhales deeply and exhales. Yoongi waits patiently for him to talk. 

After two long minutes, Hoseok finally turns his body to reveal the thing that has him panicked. 

Yoongi stares blankly at the palette that's oozing with yellow paint. 

"I accidentally squeezed the paint tube too hard and all of it came out," Hoseok's ducks his head and his small voice is nearly lost on Yoongi's ears. "You said I shouldn't waste, but I did and… I'm sorry, Yoongi." 

Yoongi takes the palette from Hoseok's hands and shakes his head. "It won't go to waste, don't worry." 

"Huh?" 

"Take off your apron," Yoongi orders. Hoseok obliges and shrugs off the apron. Hoseok twiddles his thumbs and his shoulders are slumped. He looks a little like a kicked puppy and Yoongi wants nothing more than to wipe that sad expression off of his face. 

"I'm sorry," Hoseok repeats, "I'm really sorry–" 

"Stop apologizing," Yoongi says with no real bite, "stop saying sorry and help me." 

Yoongi lays the black apron on the large table that sits at one of the corners of the room. He brings them a set of thin paint brushes to share and gestures for Hoseok to take a seat beside him. 

"What…" Hoseok looks at the apron, bemused. "What are we doing?" 

"You said your apron looks boring, right?" Yoongi offers an easy smile. "Let's paint some sunflowers on it with the extra paint. How does that sound?" 

Hoseok's bottom lip wobbles and his eyes become glassy. "I thought you'd be mad at me." 

"The only thing you do that makes me mad is when you swing around on my kitchen chair," Yoongi says honestly, "because it will break if you keep doing that." 

Hoseok's smiling again, the earlier panic gone and replaced with palpable relief. Yoongi's glad to see him back to his usual self. "Don't worry about the paint," he reassures. "We can use it for your apron, okay?" 

Hoseok wipes at his eyes and nods, a new found determination pumping through his body. "Okay! Can we add some smileys too?" 

Yoongi nods. "Yes. Anything you want." 

Hoseok throws his arms around Yoongi and gives him a hug. Even if the position is awkward because of the way they're sitting, Yoongi wouldn't want it any other way. It feels perfect. Just the right amount of warmth. 

"Thank you, Yoongi." 

They paint little sunflowers all over the apron. Hoseok adds smileys to some of the sunflowers and grins the entire time. Hoseok adds cute little bees and makes buzz buzz sounds as he paints them. Yoongi loves hearing the little sounds Hoseok makes whenever he does something. 

At some point, Hoseok takes Yoongi's hand and paints his palm and does the same for himself. 

On the front of the apron, right on the pocket, they press both of their hands against the material. Hoseok's slender fingers look pretty beside Yoongi's larger ones. 

If you were to tell Yoongi a few years ago that some day he'd enjoy sharing his space with someone else, he'd laugh in your face and call it impossible. Yet, here he is today, sharing his most sacred space with Hoseok. 

Hoseok isn't real. Yoongi has to remind himself. 

But Yoongi wishes he was. 

☆☆☆

Another week has gone by. 

Yoongi's lying in his bed and staring at the ceiling. He's scared to fall asleep in fear of waking up to Hoseok gone. 

A dream. 

This dream has gone on long enough, hasn't it? 

"But what if it's not a dream?" he whispers to himself. Everyday, things start to feel more and more real. 

Hoseok's laugh. The warmth of his soft hands. The taste of his coffee and vanilla biscuits. 

But if this is real… where did Hoseok really come from? Why does he look like the boy Yoongi painted and why does that painting no longer have Hoseok in it? 

It has to be a dream. Dreams make no sense most of the time. The boy from Yoongi's painting came to life and now he's living with Yoongi as if he's always belonged beside him. 

Yoongi doesn' understand it. 

He doesn't understand anything. 

'Just enjoy it,' Hoseok had said. 

It was easy enough then. But how can Yoongi enjoy this, when he starts to enjoy the other’s company and Hoseok could disappear at any given moment? 

Yoongi groans and slips out of bed. He can't sleep — not when his thoughts keep going in circles. 

To his surprise, Hoseok isn't asleep on the couch. Hoseok's sitting outside on the porch and staring up into the starry sky. 

Yoongi tip-toes outside and sits beside him. "Can't sleep either?" 

"Yeah," Hoseok says in a soft voice, "the sky is always so clear here." 

"It is," Yoongi hums and leans his shoulder against Hoseok's and drinks in the sparkling dots that line the sky. "It always is." 

"It always rained where I used to be." 

Yoongi wonders where exactly that might have been. "That must have been terrible." 

"Not really," Hoseok laughs, a sense of nostalgia taking over his voice and features. "I really love it when it rains, so it would make me happy." 

"You love it when it rains?" Yoongi wouldn't expect it. He'd taken Hoseok for the type to only love the sunshine and light winds like himself. But Yoongi's slowly coming to realize that Hoseok's completely different from him. 

"Yeah," Hoseok smiles, his arm finding its way around Yoongi's shoulders and pressing him close. "When I was younger my dad and I used to always dance in the rain. Whenever it rains, it reminds me of those good memories." 

Yoongi's silent. 

He has never wanted it to rain before. 

But for once, Yoongi wishes it would rain. 

Then. Something that has never happened before happens. 

It starts raining. 

For two years it has never rained once. 

Now the sky is thick with dark clouds and the pitter patter of rain steadily hits the roof and windows. 

Hoseok's smiling. 

Yoongi has never seen that smile before. 

A smile so tender . So soft. 

"Do you believe in magic, Yoongi?" Hoseok always asks. 

The answer is always the same. "No, I don't." 

Hoseok takes his hand in his and rests his head on Yoongi's shoulder. " This is what magic feels like." 

Yoongi almost believes him. 

☆☆☆

It has been raining non-stop for a week. 

Yoongi misses painting outside under the clear skies, but he doesn't mind it too much when Hoseok gets to enjoy the sound of the rain. 

Yoongi usually starts feeling claustrophobic in his house when he doesn't leave for long periods of time. But with Hoseok here, everything is different. 

He wakes up to his usual perfect cup of coffee and biscuits and then they paint together side by side in his art room and spend the rest of the day in comfortable silence. 

Yoongi catches Hoseok watching the rain often. A certain longing lingers in Hoseok's lovely brown eyes. Yoongi wonders what he's thinking about. He could just ask but… Yoongi's not sure if he really wants to know the answer. 

"Yoongi?" Hoseok says, sitting on the ledge of one of the large windows. His breath creates clouds against the glass. "How long have you been here?" 

"I think about two or so years," Yoongi schools a warm cup of coffee in his hands and takes a long sip. Delicious. Nothing beats Hoseok's coffee. 

"How did you get here?" 

Yoongi tries to remember exactly how he got here. "I think I moved from the city and found my way here. I didn't like the city much so–" 

"You think?" Hoseok's looking at him now. "So you're not sure?" 

Yoongi doesn't know what Hoseok is trying to get at but he shrugs anyway. "Well I'm here now and I wouldn't want it any other way." 

Hoseok regards him with an unreadable gaze for a long time. "You don't miss anyone?" 

Yoongi shakes his head. "There's no one for me to miss." 

"Oh," A small frown pulls at Hoseok's lips. "I'm sorry." 

Yoongi huffs a sigh. "There's nothing to be sorry about. Everything I need is right here." 

Hoseok nods once then looks at the rain drizzling down the window. "I've been alone for a long time. I miss people."

Yoongi sits beside him and takes another sip of warm coffee. "What's there to miss? People are terrible." 

"Maybe," Hoseok laughs dryly. "But they're not all that bad. I miss the magic of people." 

Yoongi doesn't understand what Hoseok means. Yoongi doesn't miss people. He never has. He has only missed his parents as any grieving child would. 

"If you miss people so much," Yoongi starts, leaning his head back against the cold window. "You can leave and find a place full of them."

Yoongi hopes Hoseok would say no. He doesn't want the other to leave. Not anytime soon. 

Hoseok's lips form into a thin line. He doesn't look at Yoongi when he speaks in a low voice, "I've tried. You're the only person I've come across." 

Yoongi suddenly feels inadequate. Most people he has met don't like him. What if Hoseok feels the same way? Hoseok has been desperate to find someone, anyone, and when he finally found a person, that person was just… Yoongi. 

Yoongi bites the inside of his cheek and abruptly stands up. "I'm going to sleep."

"But it's so early–" 

"I'm tired," Yoongi lies. 

He doesn't spare Hoseok a glance as he walks away. 

If this is just a dream, why does the thought of Hoseok being disappointed that the person he has finally found is Yoongi, hurt more than it should? 

☆☆☆

"Yoongi?" Hoseok lightly strokes over the duvet, "Are you awake? I made us dinner." 

Yoongi's curled up in a ball, hidden with the help of the thick duvet. He doesn't feel like coming out anytime soon. 

All he can think about is how Hoseok is possibly disappointed that he met him. Hoseok makes Yoongi so happy but could the same be said about Yoongi? Does Yoongi make Hoseok happy in the slightest? 

Hoseok drapes himself over Yoongi. "I made your favorite. Don't leave me hanging, Yoongi." 

Yoongi doesn't make a sound. He shuts his eyes tight and waits for time to pass. Hoseok will leave him alone sooner or later. 

But he doesn't. Even after what feels like half an hour, Hoseok is still there, unmoving from his place on top of Yoongi. 

"Yoooongi," Hoseok whines, shaking him. "What's wrong? Why are you sulking?" 

"I'm not sulking," Yoongi's mumbled words get muffled by the blanket. "Go away." 

"No," He can hear the pout in Hoseok's voice. "Tell me what's wrong so I can fix it." 

"You did nothing wrong." It's not Hoseok's fault that Yoongi's a hard person to like. It's not his fault that Yoongi is the way that he is. "Now go away." 

"No," Hoseok says, more assertive this time. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong." 

"Why do you even care?" Yoongi spits. "Why do you even fucking care?" 

"Because you're important to me!" Hoseok rips the blanket away and shouts, "What kind of question is that?" 

Yoongi turns his head to the side and looks away. He feels too exposed – bare under Hoseok's hardening stare.

"I'm important to you?" Yoongi has a hard time believing that. 

Hoseok's silent for a few moments. Then he tilts Yoongi's chin until they're looking at each other. "Of course you're important to me. I finally found the magic I was looking for before I could give up for good." 

Yoongi looks like a deer caught in headlights. He looks up to Hoseok with his lips parted and eyes wide. "The magic you were looking for?" 

Hoseok's warm fingers thread through Yoongi's hair and he strokes his scalp. "I told you I've been looking for people haven't I? I was about to give up, but then you appeared and… yeah." Hoseok smiles softly. "I finally found someone." 

"But you said you miss people and—" 

"I do," Hoseok nods. "But having one person is much better than having no one. And I'm so happy that that person is you and not anyone else." 

"You're happy?" Yoongi says in a small voice, his heart swelling in his chest. 

Hoseok falls forward and tucks his face between the junction of Yoongi's neck and shoulder. Yoongi gulps from the sudden show of affection but he doesn't push Hoseok away. "You make me so happy, so of course I'm happy, Yoongi." 

Yoongi's overwhelmed with the sudden urge to cry. 

Hoseok's so honest. Every word he says drips with genuine honesty. Yoongi has never met anyone like him. Yoongi's not used to such honesty. 

"Why wouldn't I be happy?" Hoseok's breath tickles his neck. "I get to see you enjoy the coffee I make every day. You always make me pancakes whenever I feel like it. You always paint with me and you listen to me blabber nonsense all day. You've watched the rain with me and you've held my hand whenever I wanted to. Why wouldn't I be happy? "

"I–" 

"Silly," Hoseok pulls back only to rub the tips of their noses together. Like this Yoongi can see every golden speck in Hoseok's beautiful eyes. "If we're the only ones left in the world then I'm glad that I get to be with you ." 

Yoongi has never fallen in love before. Love has never been on his mind. It has never been something he craves or needs. It's just simply something that he doesn't have. 

But as he drowns in the pools of chocolate that make up Hoseok's eyes, he wonders if that still holds true. 

"You're beautiful," Yoongi whispers, his arms slowly snaking around Hoseok's back. "You're so beautiful."

A pretty blush covers Hoseok's cheeks. It reminds Yoongi of pink roses on a spring morning. 

"No, you're beautiful," Hoseok smiles and pecks Yoongi's nose. "I've always thought so." 

Hoseok's so easy to believe. So easy to trust. 

"Yeah?" Yoongi's own cheeks are hot and his stomach swarms with butterflies. "You really think so?" 

"I don't think so," Hoseok tucks his head in Yoongi's neck again. "I know so." 

Yoongi smiles, bashful. His cheeks burn hot and his mind is a pile of mush. 

"Can we go eat now?" Hoseok's soft lips brush against Yoongi's throat. "Seeing you enjoy my food makes me happy, believe it or not." 

Yoongi grins and squeezes Hoseok tight, "Okay. I believe you." 

And Yoongi does. He believes it. He believes in Hoseok. 

☆☆☆

When the rain finally comes to an end, a field of sunflowers start to bloom. 

☆☆☆

They go on walks often. 

Yoongi loves going on walks and breathing in the fresh air. 

Hoseok's hand is warm in his as they step on the pathway that was made just for them. 

Hoseok often gets excited when he spots colourful flowers or shrubs he never noticed before. He always runs ahead and calls out to Yoongi. "Yoooongi! Come look at this one!" 

Yoongi smiles fondly and indulges him. When Hoseok finds flowers that he likes, Yoongi always picks some and puts them in Hoseok's hair. Or if they're too big for his hair, Yoongi takes some home and leaves it in a large vase on the dining room table. 

The lines between reality and dream are blurred. 

Sometimes things feel too real. And other times…

Other times things feel dream-like. 

The feeling Yoongi gets from looking at Hoseok's smile can only be described as something dreamy. Something that almost feels like magic. 

Hoseok's touches are featherlight. Barely there but they leave a burning sensation that's stark against Yoongi's skin. 

Everything feels real but at the same time, nothing feels real at all. 

Hoseok jumps on Yoongi's back and wraps his arms around Yoongi's shoulders. "Whatcha thinking about?" 

Yoongi's arms securely hold onto Hoseok's thighs and he walks ahead with the other latched to his back. "Just wondering if this is a dream or not." 

"Ah, that again," Hoseok hums, hooking his chin on Yoongi's shoulder. "Do you want it to be a dream?" 

"Do you?" 

"No," Hoseok says, "I'd be really sad if this turned out to be a dream." 

Yoongi agrees. "I think I'd be sad too." 

Yoongi wanted so badly to wake up from this dream and now… now he never wants to wake up. 

"Don't worry," Hoseok assures, "If this does turn out to be a dream, at least we can meet in our dreams again and whenever we want. Right?" 

Yoongi smiles. "You're always so optimistic, Seokie." 

"Seokie?" Hoseok giggles. "I like that." 

"Thank you," Yoongi says, "I think it's some of my best work." 

Hoseok sneaks a kiss to the side of Yoongi's head. Yoongi blushes, hard, "You're not wrong. Although I should give you a cute nickname too. Otherwise it's not fair." 

"I don't think you can come up with something as cute as Seokie," Yoongi teases, "but let's see what you got." 

"What about Gigi?" 

"Absolutely not." 

"Yoyo?" 

"No."

"Yooyoo," Hoseok clicks his tongue. 

" No ." 

"Yoonoo." 

Yoongi groans. Can they get any worse than this? "You're terrible at this." 

" Wait!" Hoseok exclaims. "What about Yoonie?" 

"That's definitely better than Gigi and Yoonoo," Yoongi sighs. "Those names are terrible." 

"Mean." Hoseok's hold on Yoongi tightens. "Hey Yoonie?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Can't you go a little faster than this?" 

"I could," Yoongi scoffs. "But I'm choosing not to." 

"Why?" Hoseok whines. "Go faster. You're walking too slow and it's boring." 

"Guess you'll stay bored then," Yoongi says flatly. 

Hoseok lets out a loud sigh. "You're lame sometimes." 

"Say that again and I won't make you pancakes ever again." 

"Then I won't make you coffee," Hoseok threatens. Yoongi goes very silent. "Yeah, I thought so— AH." 

Yoongi rushes forward, running as fast as he can. Hoseok's laughing on his back. His laugh is music to Yoongi's ears. 

Yoongi hopes he can listen to his favorite song for a little longer. 

☆☆☆

Flames crackle in the fireplace. They sit side by side and look at the burning flames. 

Yoongi melts marshmallows on a fork and gives the softest ones to Hoseok. If he accidentally burns one he eats it himself. 

"Keep them for yourself," Hoseok laughs. "You keep giving me the best ones." 

You deserve all the best ones , Yoongi wants to say. You deserve everything. 

The next marshmallow Yoongi melts perfectly and he offers it to Hoseok. "Here." 

Hoseok rolls his eyes but bites into the sweet anyway, licking his lips. Yoongi's quick to make another. "Have this one too." 

Hoseok giggles. "How about we share this one?" 

"Nah," Yoongi presses the marshmallow against Hoseok's pretty pink lips. "Eat." 

Hoseok snorts but obliges. "Good," Yoongi says. 

Hoseok glares at the next marshmallow that's offered by Yoongi. "Yoonie. You eat this one."

"Not that hungry," Yoongi mumbles, "now eat it." 

"No." Hoseok stares him down. " You eat it." 

Yoongi's lips pucker. "Why are you bossing me around in my own house?" 

"I live here now," Hoseok wriggles his nose distastefully. "It's our house now." 

Despite himself, Yoongi smiles shyly. "I uh–" 

"You're so cute," Hoseok cooes. 

"I'm not–" in that second where Yoongi's mouth is open, Hoseok shoves the marshmallow between his lips. " Hey!"

"Chew it," Hoseok's eyes narrow. "Chew it, right now." 

Yoongi makes an irritated sound at the back of his throat but chews anyway. "See," Hoseok patronizes. "Was that so hard?" 

"Yes, actually." 

Hoseok tsk s. "You're so annoying." 

" I'm the annoying one?" Yoongi gasps, hands against his chest. " You swing on my chair every day and break it." 

"It's our chair," Hoseok corrects and humph s. "And I'll do whatever I want with it." 

Yoongi cocks a brow. "Just because it's ours doesn't mean you can just break it." 

"It's not going to break," Hoseok argues, "you're just lame and don't know how to have fun." 

"Oh really?" Yoongi says, exasperated. "I know how to have fun." 

"You do?" Hoseok laughs and grabs onto Yoongi’s hand. "Then let's go." 

"Where are we going?" 

"To have fun, obviously." Hoseok guides Yoongi onto the barstool and grins devilishly. "See, this is how you have fun." 

"Hoseok–" Yoongi warns. 

"Shh and enjoy the ride," Hoseok cooes, his fingers latching onto the chair. He swings it hard and Yoongi goes spinning. 

"The chair is going to break–" But Hoseok's not listening, he just keeps spinning Yoongi round and round. Yoongi's vision becomes nothing but blobs and blurs. " Stop–" Yoongi holds onto the chair for dear life. " Hoseok. Stop–" he shrieks. 

Hoseok's laughing like a maniac. 

Yoongi's getting dizzy. "I'll make you sleep outside–" Yoongi threatens but it comes out more as a squeak, "I swear–" Hoseok laughs even louder at Yoongi's threats. " Hoseok." 

The spinning finally comes to a stop and Yoongi forces himself off of the chair, but he loses his balance and falls right into Hoseok's arms. 

"I got you," Hoseok cooes. "You'll be okay." 

" You did this," Yoongi glares. "This was all you." 

"Circumstantial evidence," Hoseok dismisses, "don't think about it too much."

Yoongi holds onto Hoseok for support, but really, he's just enjoying hugging him with all he's got.

"The chair didn't break," Hoseok says pointedly, "I told you." 

"But I nearly broke."

"So dramatic," Hoseok smiles down at him. "You're so cute." 

Yoongi groans and buries his face in Hoseok's neck, trying to hide his ever reddening cheeks. "Stop it. You're always saying that." 

"Because it's true. "

"You're the only person that thinks so," Yoongi mumbles, "trust me." 

"Well anyone else that doesn't think so, is missing out," Hoseok kisses Yoongi's forehead. "They don't deserve your cuteness anyways."

Yoongi chuckles, rubbing his cheek against Hoseok.

"You're like a grumpy little cat," Hoseok says.

"Shut up," Yoongi says with no real bite. "Otherwise I'll… Uhm…" 

"What are you going to do?" Hoseok says, sarcasm dripping from his honeyed voice. "Bake me some cupcakes?" 

"I was thinking pancakes but whatever." 

Hoseok squeezes him tight. "Pancakes sound great, Yoonie."

Yoongi wants this moment to last forever. 

☆☆☆

They're having a picnic today. Hoseok said he was bored of always having to eat at home so Yoongi suggested having a picnic. 

Yoongi was endeared by Hoseok's bubbling excitement in the morning as they prepared for the picnic. Hoseok had been bouncing on his feet while packing for their food and drinks. 

As soon as they found a nice spot near one of the many lakes, Hoseok quickly spread out the blanket and dived right into it. He was like an excited puppy going to a new place for the first time. 

They played Uno for two hours straight. Yoongi would pout every time he lost and Hoseok would pinch his lips together and coo. 

Then they ate together and laughed about nothing and everything. 

Now, Yoongi has a book in his hands while Hoseok takes a nap under the warmth of the sun. His face is cuddled into Yoongi's thigh, his cheek squashed adorably.

Yoongi can't concentrate on the book at all. He keeps glancing at Hoseok's peaceful face as he breathes evenly. 

His fingers idly play with the soft locks of Hoseok's hair. He then trails his index finger over the arch of Hoseok's eyebrows and down to his lovely cheekbones and slowly over the soft flesh of his lips. 

Hoseok wriggles his nose and rubs his cheek against Yoongi's thigh. Cute. 

Hoseok's eyes flutter open and he looks up at Yoongi with a lazy smile. "Hi." 

"Hi," Yoongi's own lips curl into a smile. "Did you sleep well?" 

Hoseok nods and rubs at his eyes, yawning. "Mm. I did." 

He stands and stretches out his limbs. He lifts up the hem of his shirt and—

" What are you doing?" 

Hoseok looks at him like it's obvious. "I want to go for a swim." He glances at the lake. "It looks like it would be refreshing." 

Thankfully, Hoseok doesn't take his pants off too. Yoongi's already a blushing mess drinking in Hoseok's honeyed skin. His stomach and chest have a couple of moles that match the one just above his lip. 

Hoseok wastes no time walking into the lake and dipping his head into the water. He comes out, shaking his hair out and smiling. "It feels so good , Yoonie." 

"Ahuh," Yoongi's cheeks are hot. "I believe you." 

"Don't you want to join me?" Hoseok bats his lashes. "Please?" 

"Absolutely not," Yoongi looks at the pages of the book still between his hands. He's not even reading the words but it's better than looking at the water droplets glimmering on Hoseok's skin like stars. "Have fun, I'll be here reading." 

Hoseok slaps his lips together and pouts. " Fine. You're so boring." 

Yoongi’s smiling wide. He's not falling for Hoseok's antics this time. "Yes. Exactly. I'm boring, so let me do my boring things like reading, Seokie." 

Hoseok rolls his eyes and waves him off, dipping his body further into the water and swimming away. Yoongi lets go of a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He just dodged a bullet. 

Yoongi tries to read but it's a lost cause. He keeps sneaking glances at Hoseok.

He's so beautiful. He's breathtaking. Everything in between. His wet hair is slicked back and his skin looks surreal under the sunlight. 

"Yoonie?" 

"Huh?" Yoongi says, distracted. 

"Can you help me out?" Hoseok says innocently, "my body is tired and I need help." 

Yoongi nods dumbly and drops the book onto the blanket and approaches the bank of the lake and offers his hand out. "Here." A mischievous glint enters Hoseok's eyes and Yoongi realizes then that he's an idiot. 

Hoseok pulls him into the body of water and wraps his legs around Yoongi, promptly preventing him from escaping. "Caught you." Yoongi flusters, his mouth going dry. "You're blushing so much, Yoonie. What? You've never seen a man's body before?" 

That only makes Yoongi blush more. " I have. It's just that you're– uh. You're–" 

"I'm what?" Hoseok cocks his head, confused. Hoseok has no idea just how beautiful he is. 

"You're just really pretty," The words tumble out of Yoongi's mouth embarrassingly fast. 

Hoseok's the one blushing now. "I—" 

"You're blushing so much, Seokie," Yoongi teases right back. "What? No one has called you pretty before?" 

" No , people have ," Hoseok says defensively. His eyes look everywhere but at Yoongi. He mutters, "It's just different when you say it." 

"It is?" Butterflies flutter in Yoongi's chest. 

"Yeah," Hoseok mumbles, the tip of his ears and apples of his cheeks bright red. "It is." 

Despite the icy water, Yoongi feels warm. 

"Let go of me for a bit," he says. 

"No," Hoseok shakes his head. "You'll run away then." 

"I won't," Yoongi says honestly, "just let go for a bit."

Hoseok reluctantly detaches himself from Yoongi and watches him with suspicion dancing in his eyes. "You better not run or else no coffee for a week." 

Yoongi couldn't think of a worse punishment. 

Yoongi shrugs off his soaked shirt and throws it onto the grass. "Now, that's better," Yoongi sighs and closes the gap between them. 

His face is hot and his heart beats fast in his chest, but he doesn't care when Hoseok looks to be as flustered as he feels. "See? I didn't run away." 

Hoseok smiles that rare smile of his that causes his dimples to appear. Yoongi's arms wrap around Hoseok's shoulders and he kisses those dimples. 

"You're pretty," he whispers against Hoseok's ear, "you're so pretty, Hoseok." 

Hoseok hugs him close and ducks his head. "Stop. You're embarrassing me." 

Yoongi giggles. God. He's so fucking happy. 

Yoongi never thought he'd ever be able to feel such happiness. 

"What's so funny?" Hoseok pouts. "Care to share the joke?" 

Yoongi rubs their noses together and shuts his eyes. "Nothing. I'm just happy." 

Hoseok pulls back, his rosie cheeks and smile so beautiful and soft. "I'm happy too, Yoongi." 

☆☆☆

"–gi, Yoongi–" 

"Huh?" Yoongi wakes up with a start. The bedroom is draped in darkness but Hoseok looks bright even here. "Are you okay?" 

Hoseok stands at his bedside with slumped shoulders. He fidgets with the hem of his shirt. "What's wrong, Seokie?" 

"Had a nightmare," Hoseok's eyes are glassy and red. He has been crying. 

Yoongi shuffles to the side and lifts open the duvet. "Come here." 

Hoseok slips into the warmth of the bed and snuggles close to Yoongi, throwing his arm over Yoongi's waist and tangling their legs together. 

Yoongi strokes over Hoseok's cheekbone with the back of his finger and whispers, "What was it about?" 

Hoseok shakes his head and buries his face in Yoongi's neck. "You were gone and I was left alone again." Yoongi's hand rubs slow circles on Hoseok's back. "I don't want to be left alone…" 

Yoongi's throat tightens and he hugs Hoseok close. "I don't want to be left alone either. I want to be with you." 

Warm tears wet Yoongi's neck. Everything about Hoseok is warm.

"Don't cry Seokie. I'm right here."

"Wha-what if all of this really is a druh-dream?" Hoseok stutters out, "what if you're not real? What if none of this is real?" 

Yoongi has been asking himself the same questions every day. But Hoseok is crying and he wants so badly to soothe him even if Yoongi is unsure himself. 

Yoongi cups Hoseok's face and swipes away his tears with the pads of his thumbs. "Then we can always meet in our dreams again. Isn't that what you said?" 

Tears fall down Hoseok's cheeks like a gentle stream. "I want you to be real," he whispers all too softly. 

"I want you to be real too," Yoongi places soft kisses on Hoseok's cheeks. "I want that too." 

Hoseok's fingers dig into Yoongi's back as he hugs him. "If this is just a dream, we'll meet again, right?" 

"We will," the words come easy. Yoongi doesn't know why they come so easy when his mind is plagued by doubts. "We'll meet again." 

"Promise?" 

Yoongi shouldn't be making promises. But it's Hoseok. "Yes. I promise." Hoseok smiles, his eyes filling with fresh tears. Yoongi wants to cry too. 

"Do you believe in magic, Yoonie?" 

Yoongi wants to say yes. But he's scared to. "I don't." 

Hoseok's slender fingers lightly stroke through Yoongi's hair. "Everything about you is magic. Everything and everyone around you has magic in them. Don't forget that okay?" 

"Okay," it sounds like another promise. "I won't forget." 

"And don't forget me," Hoseok connects their lips. "Don't forget me." 

Yoongi could never forget Hoseok. He could never forget his soft smile and even softer hands. He could never forget the taste of his vanilla biscuits and coffee. 

He could never forget how Hoseok adores the rain and sunflowers. How Hoseok always giggled whenever they'd paint together. He could never forget the countless times he has gotten lost in Hoseok's deep brown eyes. 

Yoongi could never forget the boy he painted and the one that came to life and brought him the happiness he didn't realize he was missing. 

Yoongi could never forget Hoseok's warmth. 

"We'll meet again," Hoseok whispers against his lips. 

Yoongi says it too. He promises, "We'll meet again." 

☆☆☆

… beep. beep. beep. 

Voices.

He hears voices. 

Yoongi's eyelids are heavy. They feel like they've been sewn shut. 

White. 

All he sees underneath his eyelids is a sickly white. 

"– waking up. He's waking up."  

His eyelids are forced open and a bright light shines into it. He flinches against the invading light. Where is he? 

Yoongi feels cold. 

He tries to pick up his arm but it shakes. A needle is pressed against his skin and it pumps clear liquid into his vein. 

He feels so cold. 

"Can you tell me your name and date of birth?" A doctor says. 

He's in a hospital. 

His throat is dry when he speaks, "Min Yoongi. 9th of March. Whah-what happened? Why am I here?" 

The doctor smiles, relieved. "You were in an accident. You've been in a coma for almost three years but you've finally woken up and your vitals look good. Congratulations." 

Oh. 

Yoongi feels cold. 

He feels too cold. 

☆☆☆

The world went on without Yoongi's presence. Time waits for no one and no one waits for Yoongi either. 

It's like he never left. 

The only thing that reminded him that he was gone for nearly three years was the dust in his art gallery. 

His apartment has long since been occupied by other people and all his belongings were sent to his aunt. 

Yoongi almost died in an accident. He was in a bus on the way to buy some groceries and a collision happened with a large truck. The doctors said it was a miracle that he'd survived. Yoongi's not sure about that. 

Losing three years of your life could be tragic for others but… to Yoongi nothing feels all too different. 

A month ago he was in the hospital recovering, today it's just another day for him. 

Life goes on as it always does. 

The only thing that has changed is colour. 

Yoongi has always seen the people around him as colourless – grey, monotone. But now, everyone looks a little brighter. 

He sees colour in them. 

Magic , the small voice in his head says. 

That small voice makes an appearance when Yoongi least expects it. He doesn't understand it. 

Magic

Sounds like a load of bullshit. 

Yoongi has never believed in things like miracles and magic. 

And that's never going to change.

☆☆☆

Yoongi's new apartment is in the heart of the city. He'd prefer to stay somewhere quieter, but there aren't many places like that here. 

He found this place online for a cheap price. Or as cheap as it gets. Now, he's holding onto the few boxes of his belongings and stepping into the elevator. 

As the doors are about to close he hears a voice as smooth as honey, "Wait! Can you hold the elevator for me?" 

Yoongi holds out his leg to keep the doors from closing. A boy with beautiful brown eyes wearing a warm smile steps into the elevator. 

Yoongi has never seen anyone so beautiful and so full of colour before. "Thank you. Oh! Are you moving in?" He asks, gesturing towards Yoongi's boxes. Yoongi nods, dumbfounded. He's so beautiful. 

"Here, let me help you with that," he takes a hold of two of the boxes. 

"Thanks," Yoongi mumbles.

"I moved in here recently too," the boy says, "it's actually pretty nice. What floor are you on?" 

"Twelve." 

"Oh my god. Really?" His smile gets impossibly brighter. "So am I!" 

Yoongi has never wanted to paint a person before. But Yoongi has the sudden urge to paint this man he just met. 

The elevator dings and they step out into the hallway. He’s following close behind Yoongi, humming along as they approach Yoongi's new apartment door. "You live here?" he says, "That's crazy because I live right there." He points towards the door directly across from Yoongi's. "Maybe we're soulmates." 

He's joking. Yoongi knows he's joking. 

But a part of Yoongi wishes that it was true. 

What the fuck? 

Yoongi's apartment door clicks open and the beautiful boy places the boxes on his floor. 

"Just shout if you need anything," he says, a smile never once falling off of his face. "My name's Hoseok by the way. What's yours?" 

Hoseok… 

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

Yoongi ignores the pestering voice in his head. "Yoongi. My name is Yoongi." 

Hoseok offers his hand and Yoongi takes a hold of it. 

It's warm. 

And it fits perfectly into his. 

"Nice to meet you, Yoongi." 

"It's nice to meet you too, Hoseok." 

☆☆☆

Something is missing. 

Yoongi doesn't know what that something could be. 

There's an odd feeling brewing in the pit of his stomach. He feels hollow. 

He lays in bed every night staring at the ceiling and ponders just what could be making him feel so empty. 

When his thoughts get nowhere he pulls out his sketchbook and draws those brown eyes that belong to no other than Hoseok. 

He only met the man once but he already knows how to draw every single plane of his face. 

He knows the exact position of Hoseok's moles and the small indent of his dimples when he does that little smile of his. 

It's peculiar. Yoongi knows how to draw someone perfectly with only having to see them once. Without a picture for reference. He just knows. 

Yoongi doesn't understand. 

If he's not drawing Hoseok, he's drawing sunflowers. 

Yoongi's never thought of sunflowers as special in any way. But now, as he looks at the sunflowers he has drawn, he feels a certain type of longing. 

Something is missing. 

Yoongi doesn't know what. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi passes by a florist on the way back to his apartment. Fresh sunflowers sit in a bucket right outside the store. 

He buys one. He doesn't know why exactly he buys it but… sunflowers seem to be his new favorite thing. 

He holds the long stem between his fingers as he makes his way up to his apartment. To his surprise, he sees Hoseok sitting on the floor, knees pressed against his chest and his face buried in his hands. 

If it was any other person, Yoongi would pay them no mind and flat out ignore them. He'd go on with his day and forget it even happened. But. 

Something pulls at his heart strings that he can't name. He kneels beside Hoseok and asks, "Are you okay?" 

Hoseok blinks up to him with tearful eyes. A strong sense of deja vu washes over Yoongi. He has seen those sad eyes before. He has wiped those tears away before. He has–

"Is that…" Hoseok sniffles. "Is that a sunflower?" 

"Uh… yes?" 

Hoseok smiles. His smile is so blinding. So beautiful. So familiar. Nostalgic. Yoongi doesn't understand why. 

"I love sunflowers." 

Yoongi doesn't know what prompts him to say it but the question falls from his lips all too easily. "Do you want it?" 

Hoseok instantly lights up. "Really?" 

"Yeah," Yoongi says, "I don't mind." 

Hoseok takes the flower in his hands and he inhales the scent from the petals. He smiles prettily. Yoongi can't look away from him. 

"Sunflowers are so magical," Hoseok says, stroking over the petals with slender fingers. "Don't you think?" 

Magical.

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

"Uh–" 

"Oh!" Hoseok chirps. "Would you like to come inside for coffee or something? It's the least I can do for the flower." 

Yoongi shakes his head. "It's okay. I'm just glad that you're feeling better."

"Yeah," Hoseok grins. "I'm feeling better. Thank you." 

Why does Yoongi feel so happy when Hoseok smiles? He doesn't understand. 

"Are you sure you don't want coffee? I don't mind–" 

"It's fine," Yoongi waves him off. "I have work to do so…" 

"Oh," Yoongi could be reading it wrong but Hoseok sounds disappointed. "Next time then?" 

Yoongi's not good with new people. They make him nervous and anxious. But Hoseok… something about Hoseok makes Yoongi want to trust him. 

"Okay," Yoongi unlocks his door and steps inside his apartment. "Next time."

Through the gap of Yoongi's closing door he sees Hoseok's bright smile drop. He could be imagining it. But Hoseok looks so unbearably sad. 

Yoongi shrugs it off. It's none of his business anyway. He's not Hoseok's friend or anything of the sort. 

Yoongi sets up his easel and starts to paint. 

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

No. He doesn't. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi spends his days in his art gallery.  

Yoongi paints a lot more these days. The pictures come easy to him. 

A lake that looks like liquid starlight. 

A cozy house that's covered in large windows and surrounded by trees. 

Sunsets of different colours and shades. 

His newer paintings sell out quickly. People love the many sunflowers and vast fields and skies that he put onto canvas.

But as the days go by, something starts to change. 

Yoongi's eyes linger on people. He wants to paint them. They're full of colour and life that Yoongi has never noticed before. 

But most of all, he wants to paint Hoseok. 

He has drawn Hoseok's eyes more times than he can count but Yoongi refuses to put those eyes on a canvas and paint them. 

He doesn't see Hoseok often. They have brief encounters that last seconds; walking past each other in the hallway or standing in the elevator together. 

But every time those small encounters happen, Yoongi thinks about them for hours and sometimes days. 

Yoongi has never been interested in people. He has never been so intrigued . But he can't stop thinking about Hoseok and he doesn't understand why. It's starting to drive him crazy. 

Even now, he's thinking of Hoseok's dimpled smile. 

His thoughts get interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Yoongi places his palette on one of the tables and dusts his apron. 

"Hello– Hoseok?" 

"Hi," Hoseok waves and smiles. "Is this gallery yours?" 

Yoongi clears his throat and nods. Hoseok glances at the paintings, something akin to pain flashes across his features but it's gone in seconds. 

"Can I look around? I'm interested in buying something for my apartment." 

Yoongi follows close behind as Hoseok studies the paintings one by one. Yoongi has never felt so bare before, but having Hoseok scrutinize his paintings with those beautiful brown eyes feels too much – too intimate. 

It doesn't make sense.

What he's feeling makes no sense at all. 

"What was your inspiration for this one?" 

Yoongi's eyes fall on the painting Hoseok's looking at. 

It's something Yoongi wouldn't usually paint. It's a plate filled with freshly made pancakes on a wooden dining room table. The pancakes ooze with fresh cream and strawberry and banana slices. 

There's a cup of coffee beside the plate, and next to that are two interlaced hands. One with slender fingers and the other with thicker ones that look too much like Yoongi's. 

"I don't know," Yoongi says, "the idea just came to me, I guess."

Hoseok's silent for a few moments. Yoongi fidgets with his fingers because the silence is too quiet for his liking. 

"I'll take this one," Hoseok finally says, "I love this one. It's magical." 

Magical. 

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

Yoongi pushes the intrusive voice away and nods. "Do you want to take it now? Or I could just wrap it up for you and bring it to your apartment when I get home?" 

Hoseok smiles softly. "I'd like that, Yoonie." 

"Yoonie?" Yoongi's brows furrow together. 

"Ah," Hoseok scratches the back of his head awkwardly, "Sorry. I knew someone named Yoongi and that's what I used to call him." 

"It's okay," Yoongi hums. "Thank you for buying the painting. I'll bring it to you a bit later." 

With that, Hoseok leaves. 

Yoongi doesn't understand why his heart beat rings in his ears and why he feels so empty. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi takes a deep breath and knocks on Hoseok's door. Hoseok's quick to answer with a welcoming smile. 

"I brought the painting with me," Yoongi holds the painting against his chest. "Thanks again for buying it." 

"Your paintings are amazing. I had to buy one," Hoseok opens the door wider. "You'll come inside for coffee right?" 

"No," Yoongi waves his hand dismissively, and places the painting upright against the wall. "Thanks for the offer though." Yoongi spins on his heel but a hand around his wrist stops him in his tracks. He looks over his shoulder. 

"Uh? Is something wrong?" 

Hoseok's hand is warm. So warm. 

His hand drops to his side and his shoulders deflate. "Nothing. Thank you for dropping it off." 

"Are you okay?" Yoongi asks. 

"No," Hoseok mutters, "but I will be. Sooner or later." 

Yoongi takes that as his cue to leave. What can he say to that? 

Whatever. It's none of his business. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi wakes to constant knocks on his door. He drags himself out of bed half asleep and pulls it open. "Yeah?" 

It's Hoseok up bright and early, a smile plastered on his face. 

"Hi! How are you– oh ," Hoseok tucks a strand of Yoongi's hair behind his ear. Yoongi stands there frozen. "There! All better. Ah, you're so cute, Yoonie." 

Yoongi lips thin and he shrinks on himself. Uncomfortable. He feels uncomfortable. Hoseok touched him so easily and called him cute. They're not even friends. They're not even–

"What's wrong?" Hoseok's smile falters, his hand rubbing Yoongi's shoulder. "What's–" 

"Don't touch me like that," Yoongi steps back. "I don't know you that well and I don't like it." 

"Oh," Hoseok's hands immediately drop to his sides and form into fists. "I'm sorry. I just… I'm sorry." 

Hoseok's bottom lip wobbles and he looks like he's about to cry. Seeing him like that hurts more than it should. Yoongi feels guilty for snapping at him. 

"Why are you here?" Yoongi asks, voice softer now. 

"Uhm… well I wanted to invite you to something tonight but… maybe that would be a bad idea." Hoseok's looking at his feet. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." 

"Invite me to something?" Yoongi cocks his head. Why would Hoseok invite him to anything ? They haven't even had a proper conversation. "Invite me to what?" 

"My friends are visiting me later tonight," Hoseok bites the inside of his cheek. "I know you don't like people much but it'd be nice if you could come? Just for dinner or something." 

"How do you know that I don't like people much?" Yoongi's confusion only grows more. 

"Just a lucky guess," Hoseok nibbles at his lip nervously. "Would you like to come?" 

Yoongi should say no. Hoseok touched him like they're the closest of friends and he somehow knows about Yoongi's dislike for people. Whenever he gets the chance, he invites Yoongi over for coffee of which Yoongi always declines or says 'maybe another time'. 

It's weird. Suspicious

Yoongi should say no but Hoseok's looking at him with doe eyes and an adorable pout. How's he supposed to say no to that? 

"What time?" 

Hoseok instantly brightens at the question. "Seven tonight." 

"Alright. I'll see how I'm feeling." 

Hoseok nods excitedly. "Okay. Thank you." 

Yoongi doesn't understand why Hoseok would thank him for something like this. He doesn't understand it at all. 

Hoseok stares at him for a long time, his eyes trailing over Yoongi's face and lingering on his lips. 

Yoongi squirms under that heavy gaze. "Do you need something else?" 

"No," Hoseok finally steps away to leave. "I'll see you tonight."

With that, he's gone. 

Yoongi's already regretting answering the door in the first place. 

☆☆☆

Seven o'clock arrives faster than Yoongi would like. He should have flat out declined Hoseok's invite but something is pushing him to go. 

He's outside Hoseok's door and he hears muffled laughter and voices. He tenses up. Hoseok did say other people would be coming. 

Yoongi rolls his shoulders back and prepares himself for the worst. If they don't like him, it wouldn't surprise him in the slightest. If they make him uncomfortable, he'll just leave. 

"Are you going to go in or?" Yoongi jumps at the voice tickling his ear. A tall man with deep dimples smiles down at him. "Who might you be?" 

"Uh. Yoongi." 

"Namjoon," his hand wraps around the door handle and he pushes it open, revealing a smiling Hoseok schooling a drink in his hand and talking to two other people. 

"Joonie!" Hoseok jumps from the couch and envelopes Namjoon in a hug. "I've missed you." 

"It's been forever," Namjoon laughs, hugging Hoseok and spinning him around. Yoongi can only watch the exchange silently. "I'm glad to have you back." 

Once Hoseok notices Yoongi standing in the doorway looking out of place he calls him over. "Guys, this is Yoongi." He introduces him to the small group. "He's an artist." 

"Hey!" the one with light blonde hair says. He has plump lips that sparkle with gloss. "Jimin. I'm a dancer, just like Hoseok. He works at my studio now." 

Yoongi can only nod. Hoseok being a dancer isn't surprising. With all the elegant grace that he carries himself with, it's quite fitting. 

"Hey, Yoongi," the other one says. He has hair as dark as sin and painted black nails. "I'm Jungkook and I'm an artist too. A tattoo artist." 

"Yoongi paints," Hoseok chirps and points towards the painting he purchased a couple weeks ago. "He painted that right there." 

"No way," Namjoon's lips fall open. "That's fucking amazing."

"Wow," Jungkook takes a closer look at the painting, going as far as standing from the couch and trailing his fingers across the artwork. "This is so clean." 

"Better than Da Vinci," Jimin woah s. "He'd be jealous if he were alive." 

Yoongi blushes and ducks his head. Hoseok giggles and gives him a tap on the back. "You're embarrassing him, guys." Hoseok leans closer to whisper something in his ear. "See, they're not all bad, right?" 

Yoongi's not sure what that's supposed to mean. He can't even ask what it means because Hoseok's already laughing about something Namjoon just said. 

Yoongi takes a seat at the corner of one of the couches. Jungkook sits right beside him, smiling wide. "Your painting is amazing. Do you have more? Can you show me them one day?"

Yoongi's taken aback by the childish excitement oozing from the other. He finds it oddly endearing. "Uh yeah. I have a gallery so–" 

"Your own gallery?" Jungkook gasps, his big eyes getting even bigger. "That's so fucking cool." 

Yoongi's cheeks are hot. Something like happiness bubbles in his chest. "I… Uhm.. I–" 

"Yoonie," Hoseok passes him a glass. "Apple juice is fine, right?" 

"Who the hell likes apple juice?" Namjoon's face sours. "Orange juice is better." 

"No it's not," Yoongi challenges. "Bet you're the type to like avocado and pineapple on pizza." 

"I am, actually," Namjoon cocks a brow. "Got a problem with that?" 

"Yes," Yoongi scoffs. "I do." 

The room falls silent. 

Everyone's eyes are on Yoongi. 

Yoongi shrinks in on himself. Oh no. It's only been a few minutes and they already don't like him. He shouldn't have come. He shouldn't have —

"Would you look at that?" Jimin laughs. "He speaks!" 

Jungkook rubs his shoulder against Yoongi's, big eyes sparkling. "Namjoon doesn't even like seafood. His opinion doesn't matter." 

"Hey!" Namjoon shouts. "Seafood is disgusting." 

Jungkook ignores him and winks at Yoongi. " See? His opinion doesn't matter." 

Before Yoongi realizes it. He's laughing. It's a laughter that comes from his chest. It's airy and light. It feels so good to laugh. 

Hoseok watches the whole ordeal with flowers blooming in his chest. 

☆☆☆

"Jin and Tae said they're running a bit late," Jimin says, snacking on a packet of chips. "Not surprised. They're always late." 

"I still can't believe they're dating," Hoseok laughs dryly. "A lot has changed in a couple of years, huh?" 

Yoongi sips on his juice and listens quietly. 

"Yeah," Namjoon squeezes Hoseok's knee. "We still have a lot to fill you in about." 

"Did you go somewhere?" Yoongi asks. 

"Seok was in an accident," Jungkook's lips downturn into a frown. "He was asleep for a while." 

"A while?" Jimin snorts. "Three years is longer than a while.

Yoongi nods once, twice and then. His eyes widen into saucers. Hoseok was in an accident just like him. His mouth dries, eyes darting to Hoseok who's looking at him with an unreadable expression. "You were–" 

"Yeah," Hoseok smiles. "I was." 

"We all finally get to meet because of everyone's busy schedules," Namjoon adds, "it's been too long since we've all been together." 

Yoongi's at a loss for words. He didn't think he'd ever meet someone that experienced the same thing as him. 

He wonders how different things must have been for Hoseok. People were waiting for him to return. Wonderful people that mourned his loss. Whereas Yoongi had no one. Yoongi has always had no one.

Soon after, Seokjin and Taehyung arrive, champagne bottles in their hands. 

They're a loud bunch. All of them. But they're covered in colours that Yoongi wants to learn how to paint. 

Hoseok's the brightest of them all. Always shining, always smiling at everything his friends have to say. Every thirty minutes he checks on how Yoongi's doing and offers him more juice. 

Yoongi doesn't hate their boisterous laughter and their inside jokes he has yet to understand. 

He quite likes it. 

"So," Taehyung sits forward. "How did it feel being in a coma? Did your life flash before your eyes or–" 

"No," Hoseok laughs. "Nothing like that." 

"Did you have any dreams?" Jungkook twirls a lock of hair between his fingers. "Or was it just… white?" 

"I did have a dream," Hoseok looks at Yoongi as the words fall from his lips. "I was living in paradise." 

"Paradise?" Seokjin hums. "What's that like?" 

"There were lots of trees and sunflowers," Hoseok's eyes become glassy — dazed. "And pancakes. It was magical." 

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

"Pancakes?" Jimin oooh s. "That does sound like paradise." 

"That sounds a whole lot better than the real world," Namjoon sighs. "Don't you miss it?" 

Hoseok's eyes never leave Yoongi's. Yoongi can't look away even if he tried. He's trapped underneath those beautiful brown eyes. 

"I do," Hoseok says, "I miss it every single day." 

☆☆☆

Yoongi's the last one to leave. Everyone says their goodbyes and gives him hugs. He's not used to so much affection but he doesn't hate it when it's from them. 

"Thank you for coming," Hoseok says, "I'm really happy that you came." 

"Yeah," Yoongi's cheeks heat and he looks at the floor. "It was… kinda fun. I like your friends– oof ." Hoseok suddenly pulls Yoongi into a hug. " Ho-Hoseok?" 

"They can be our friends, if you want," Hoseok's voice wavers. "I'm so happy you enjoyed yourself." 

Yoongi's hands easily wrap around Hoseok's waist as if they've always belonged there. 

"You're weird," Yoongi mumbles. 

"Maybe," Hoseok whispers. 

"When are you going to let go of me?" Yoongi says with no real bite. He likes the way Hoseok's hugging him. He likes it more than he should. 

Hoseok's hug feels like home. 

"Just a couple more minutes, okay?" Hoseok's fingers dig into Yoongi's back. "You're real. Everything about you was real afterall." 

"Yeah," Yoongi lets out an exasperated breath. "You're weird." 

Hoseok finally lets go. Goosebumps rise on Yoongi's skin from the loss of warmth. "I'll see you around, right?" 

"Yeah…" Yoongi nods. "I'll see you around." 

"When are you going to let go of me, hmm?" 

Yoongi didn't realize his fingers were holding onto the hem of Hoseok's shirt. He pulls his hand back, flushing a deep red. He has never done something like that before. "Sorry. I—" 

"It's okay," Hoseok gives an easy smile. Yoongi could never get tired of that smile. "I'll see you soon?" 

"Yeah…" 

"Maybe we'll meet in our dreams," Hoseok doesn't say it like a joke. He says it wistfully, like he truly wishes for it to happen. Yeah. He's a weird one. 

When Yoongi finally goes to bed that night, he dreams. He dreams of a sparkling lake and a boy's face he can't quite see. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi meets up with Hoseok and his friends once every couple of weeks. It's a nice change to his otherwise usually boring life. 

They've gotten used to his silence and his dry sense of humor. They laugh at all of his jokes and indulge him. 

Yoongi wonders if Hoseok only attracts good people. Yoongi has never met so many loving and outgoing people in his life before. But they're all just that; loving and outgoing. 

He gets along most with Jungkook. They have lots in common when it comes to art despite their contrasting mediums. He learns that Jungkook, just like him, is an introvert but feels comfortable enough to come out of his shell around his friends. 

"This is it," Yoongi pushes the door of his gallery open, letting an excited Jungkook in. "It's not much but—" 

"It's not much?" Jungkook gasps. "Look at this place! It's amazing!" 

Yoongi smiles, bashful. "Thank you." 

Yoongi spends the day explaining each of his pieces to Jungkook. The other never loses interest, in fact, he gets more and more excited as the hours pass by.

Yoongi offers to make dinner for Jungkook and the younger happily agrees, hooking his arm with Yoongi as they walk to his apartment block. 

"If you ever want a tattoo," Jungkook bats his lashes as they walk down the empty hallway to his apartment door. "I'll give you as many as you want for free."

"No," Yoongi grins. "If I ever want one, make sure to charge me, okay? I'd like to support you." 

Jungkook's lip wobbles and he crushes Yoongi with a side hug. "I love you so much. You're the best." 

Yoongi laughs, ruffling Jungkook's hair. "Yeah. Yeah. I know." 

The door to Hoseok's apartment opens. Jungkook hugs Hoseok with all he's got, "Seok! Hi. I missed you." 

Hoseok smiles, "I've missed you too, Kook. What are you doing here?" 

"Yoon showed me his art gallery today," Jungkook throws an arm over Yoongi's shoulders. "Now he's going to make me dinner." 

"Oh." Yoongi could be imagining it, but Hoseok's smile drops for all of two seconds and then it's wide and bright again. "It's great that you've become good friends."

"Do you want to join us?" Yoongi suggests. "I don't mind." 

"Really?" Hoseok nibbles on his lip. "Are you sure?" 

"Yeah," Yoongi nods. "It'll be fun." 

Hoseok and Jungkook sit on the couch and watch TV, scrolling through Netflix to find something entertaining. Yoongi doesn't watch TV much, he's always painting or reading. But it's nice to hear their laughter carry all the way to the kitchen. 

Hoseok peeks his head into the kitchen and smiles. "Do you need help with anything?" 

"I'm alright, thank you." Hoseok sits on one of the barstools, swinging from side to side. 

"You're going to break that."

"How many times do I have to tell you that it's not going to break?" Hoseok rolls his eyes. "You're just boring."

Yoongi's hand still and he looks at Hoseok, completely and utterly confused. This is the first time Hoseok has been in his apartment. He's talking as if they've had this conversation before. 

Hoseok notices Yoongi's long silence and realizes what he's just said makes absolutely no sense. "Uhm. Sorry. I—" 

"Whatever," Yoongi waves his hand, sighing. Hoseok's so weird . "Just don't keep swinging on it." 

Hoseok sits on his hands and his lips pucker into a sad pout. "Sorry," he mumbles. 

"What's going on here?" Jungkook skips into the kitchen. "Ooooooh. It smells good." 

"Thanks, Kookie," Yoongi pinches Jungkook's cheek. "Can you set the table for me?" 

Hoseok head whips up at that. Yoongi doesn't understand the look of utter sadness that pulls at his features. Yoongi doesn't understand him at all. Nothing makes sense when it comes to Hoseok. 

"Sure thing," Jungkook says happily, "I'll do it in record time!" 

Not even three minutes later, Jungkook has finished setting the table. "I'm so hungry," he whines, "I haven't eaten all day." 

"There's some leftover pancakes in the fridge," Yoongi slowly stirs the pot. "If you want, you can have those in the meantime." 

Jungkook's more than happy to dig into those pancakes. He slides a plate to Hoseok. "These are so good. Try them." 

Hoseok looks at them blankly. 

"What's wrong, Seok? I thought you love pancakes." 

"I do," Hoseok mutters. He cuts a piece and chews on it slowly. Then, his pretty face crumples up and he's crying. Yoongi freezes, dropping the spoon into the pot. 

Jungkook is taken aback by the sudden reaction. " What– what's wrong?" 

Hoseok abruptly stands up, the fork clattering against the plate. "Sorry. I have to go." 

Yoongi and Jungkook stare after him in silence. 

What the hell was that? 

Yoongi's mouth dries. 

Seeing Hoseok cry… 

It's almost too much. 

"Maybe I should…" Jungkook swallows. "I should check on him–"

"No," Yoongi shakes his head. "Let me." 

Yoongi doesn't know why, but he needs to know if Hoseok's okay. 

"Hoseok?" Yoongi knocks on his door. " Hoseok?" 

A sniffle and a muffled 'yes' comes through the door. 

"What happened–" 

"Nothing," Hoseok laughs dryly. "I'm just an idiot waiting for something that's not going to happen." 

Yoongi doesn't know what to say to that. "Are you… are you okay?" 

"I will be," Hoseok says, "sooner or later." 

Yoongi can't see him, but somehow he knows Hoseok has his knees to his chest and his face buried in his hands. 

"Just ignore me," Hoseok chokes out. "I'll speak to you another time. I… I need to be alone." 

"Okay," Yoongi steps away from the door. "I hope you feel better." 

"I will… sooner or later." 

☆☆☆

Yoongi has forgotten him. 

Yoongi has forgotten everything

Hoseok thought that he'd start to remember, just like he did. 

But Yoongi has forgotten him. 

He promised he wouldn't but. He did. 

At first Hoseok thought it truly was a long dream he made up in his head. But everything is the same. Yoongi's habits. The way he speaks. The way he laughs. The way he carries himself. 

The taste of his pancakes. 

It's the same. 

His paintings. They tell the story of him and Hoseok. 

But he forgets. He forgets everything. 

"You promised," tears fall from Hoseok's eyes. "You promised." 

Yoongi has forgotten him and now… Hoseok knows he's never going to remember. 

Hoseok so desperately wanted to return to the real world where he could meet his friends and be surrounded by people again. 

But now that he has, he misses paradise. 

He misses Yoongi. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi and Jungkook spend lots of time together. 

Hoseok notices it and so does the rest of their friend group. 

Yoongi looks the happiest when he's with Jungkook. That smile used to be directed at Hoseok but it's now only shown to Jungkook. 

Hoseok isn't angry. He isn't jealous either. 

He's happy that Yoongi has found people that enjoy his presence as much as he enjoys theirs. 

Yoongi's happy and that's all that matters. 

Perhaps it would be better if Hoseok were to let him go and give up on the small hope he has left inside him. 

Hoseok fell in love in a dream that Yoongi doesn't remember having. 

He savors their hugs because he's not allowed to hold Yoongi's hand. 

He savors their hugs because he's not allowed to kiss Yoongi's nose or cheeks. 

He savors their hugs because he's not allowed to thread his fingers through Yoongi's hair. 

He savors their hugs because he's not allowed to feel Yoongi's lips against his own. 

Hoseok should let go. 

Dreams fade away all the time. One day his feelings for Yoongi will fade away. He'll just have to be patient. 

Hoseok's grateful that his first love is Yoongi, even if Yoongi doesn't remember what they shared. 

Hoseok should let go. 

But for now. 

He keeps apple juice in his fridge and coffee in his cupboard. Just in case Yoongi decides to return home. 

☆☆☆

"Do you think if I ask Yoongi on a date, he'll say yes?" Jungkook asks, straw between his lips. 

Hoseok goes silent, fiddling with his fingers. 

"Obviously," Jimin shrugs. "Have you seen the way he looks at you?" 

Jungkook flusters, his cheeks a bright pink. 

Hoseok's throat tightens and bricks lay themselves in his stomach. Pulling him down, down, down. 

"I think I'll go for it, then," Jungkook grins. "I really like him." 

Hoseok should let go. 

He should. 

"He definitely likes you too," Jimin chirps. "You'd be perfect together." 

"I'll ask him at his birthday thing," Jungkook smiles shyly. "I have to at least try, right?" 

Hoseok should let go. 

But he can't. 

Hoseok wants to go back to paradise. 

☆☆☆

"Hey," Yoongi's standing outside Hoseok's door with a nervous smile, his hands behind his back. 

Hoseok wants nothing more than to hug him and litter his face with soft kisses. 

"Hi," Hoseok offers a sweet smile. "What's up?" 

"This might be weird but…" Yoongi reveals what's behind his back. It's a bouquet of freshly cut sunflowers. "I saw these and… you said you like sunflowers so… would you like to have them?" 

Hoseok struggles to hold back a cry. Yoongi bought him sunflowers. 

"Yes," he takes the flowers. "I love them. Thank you." 

"Every time I see sunflowers, I'm reminded of you," Yoongi laughs. "I don't know why. But. Yeah." 

Hoseok should let go. 

But that small hope still bubbles in his chest. 

"Thank you, Yoongi." 

Yoongi's phone rings then. He answers. "Hey, Kook. I'm leaving home now. I'll see you in a bit." 

Hoseok should let go. 

"Have fun, Yoonie," Hoseok says, his heart aches in his chest. 

"I will," Yoongi walks away, smiling over his shoulder, gums and all. "Sunflowers suit you." 

Hoseok should let go. 

But he can't. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi hardly dreams, but when he does, it's always the same thing. 

It's always a dream where a boy with a distorted face holds his hand and tells him about magic. 

Magic

What a ridiculous thing. 

Although Yoongi doesn't believe anything the boy has to say about magic, he never wants the dreams to come to an end. 

They're warm and they leave him feeling… light. Airy. It's almost as if he's floating, as if nothing matters except the boy's hand in his own. 

" Who are you?" Yoongi always asks.

Yoongi always wakes before the boy can answer him. 

☆☆☆

"Whatcha drawing?" Yoongi slams the sketchbook close at Jungkook's sudden voice. The younger one is looking over his shoulder, "You hiding something?" 

"No, it's just personal," Yoongi waves his hand dismissively and Jungkook shrugs. "Why are you here?" 

"Just wanted to drop in," Jungkook sits on the table in the middle of the gallery, swinging his legs back and forth. "I haven't seen you much lately." 

"I've been busy…" 

Yoongi's been busy drawing Hoseok over and over again. He can't seem to stop. He can barely look Hoseok in the eye because he feels as if he's doing something wrong . It's creepy, to say the least. 

"I miss you," Jungkook pouts. 

Yoongi can't help but smile. Jungkook's adorable. "I've missed you too, Kook." Jungkook's cheeks pinken. "What's wrong?" 

He shakes his head. "Nothing. I'll see you next weekend for your birthday?" 

"Yeah," Yoongi grins. "You will." 

Yoongi hasn't celebrated his birthday since his parents died. It's become just an ordinary day for him, but this year things are different. This year he has a group of people he can call friends. 

And those friends want to celebrate it with him. He'd be annoyed if he didn't care about them so much, but he's actually looking forward to his birthday this time. Yoongi hasn't looked forward to anything in years. 

Jungkook pulls Yoongi into a hug. It's different from their usual hugs. It's more… intimate. Jungkook's hold on Yoongi is soft but firm, his hand dragging down his back and squeezing him tight. 

It feels… 

Too much. 

Too wrong

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

Yoongi clears his throat and steps out of Jungkook's embrace. His smile comes out more as a grimace. "I have work to do. I'll message you later." 

Jungkook ducks his head, his cheeks too pink. "Yeah… I'll speak to you later, Yoon." 

When Jungkook leaves, Yoongi opens his sketchbook and his fingers trace over the fine lines of Hoseok's eyes. 

☆☆☆

Something is missing. 

Yoongi's life is more fulfilled than it has ever been. 

He has friends and painting comes so easy to him. It's never been this easy. He can paint for hours and hours and he enjoys every single bit of it. He has thousands of new pictures in his mind to transfer onto canvas. 

Everything is as good as it can be. 

But something is missing. 

He still feels hollow. 

Yoongi doesn't know what. 

"Hey," Hoseok's at his door. "I made some vanilla biscuits. I thought you'd like some." 

"I'm not really a big biscuit fan," Yoongi says, "but I'll give them to Jungkook when he comes over later?" 

Hoseok smiles then. It's sad. Lonely. 

Yoongi doesn't know why. 

"You and Jungkook are close, huh?" Hoseok nibbles on his lip, his fingers turning white on the container he's holding. "He's a good guy, isn't he?" 

"Yeah," Yoongi grins. "He understands me best."

Hoseok's sad smile is replaced with something too cheerful and forced. "That's great! Tell him I said hello when he gets here." 

"I will," Yoongi takes a hold of the container. "I'm sure he'll love the biscuits." 

"I'm sure he will," Hoseok agrees in a soft voice. "My vanilla biscuits are the best." 

"I believe you," Yoongi says, playful. 

"I–" Hoseok opens his mouth to say something but immediately shuts it close right after. 

"Are you alright?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine," Hoseok shakes his head and smiles tiredly. "I'll see you on your birthday, Yoongi." 

Hoseok's beautiful eyes look dull. 

Yoongi wants to find the light that's left them. 

☆☆☆

Hoseok's going to let Yoongi go. 

He has to. 

There's no use holding onto that small bubble of hope anymore. 

Hoseok should move on just as Yoongi has. 

Hoseok's stuck reliving a dream while Yoongi's living in reality. 

It's ridiculous. Stupid. It makes little sense. 

What if everything they shared was just a dream? Hoseok's starting to believe that it wasn't real at all and that he made up everything. He has no proof that any of it was real because he's the only one that remembers. 

And because of that, Hoseok has decided to let go. 

Because it hurts. Everything hurts. 

He'll give Yoongi one last thing and then. 

He'll let go. 

He looks at the painting he bought from Yoongi all those months ago. The one of pancakes and a cup of coffee and with their hands interlaced together. 

The title of the painting is Home. 

Hoseok misses home. 

☆☆☆

"Hey, Yoon," Jungkook says one night, over the phone. "Have you ever been in love before?" 

"Yes." 

"Oh. That's surprising. Who was it?" 

Yoongi comes up short. 

He has never been in love before. He has never experienced anything like it either. So why did he say yes so easily? And why did it feel so right to say it? 

"I haven't been in love," Yoongi says, sheepish. "Sorry. I got confused with the question." 

Something doesn't sit right with him. It's that hollow feeling again that's threatening to drown him. 

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

"Ahh, I see," Jungkook hums. "Being in love feels nice. It feels magical , as Hoseok would say." 

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't–

"Yoon?" Jungkook disrupts his inner turmoil. "You there?" 

"Yeah… Sorry. I got distracted." 

"It's alright," Jungkook yawns. "We should go to bed, it's your big day tomorrow." 

Ah. His birthday. 

"Wait," Yoongi doesn't know why he asks. "Do you believe in magic?" 

Jungkook snorts. "No. Magic isn't real." 

"Yeah," Yoongi doesn't know why he doesn't like that answer. "You're right." 

"Goodnight, Yoon." The phone call ends and Yoongi's left alone to stare at his ceiling. 

Empty. 

He feels empty. 

☆☆☆

Yoongi wakes in the middle of the night to the sound of rain. 

He has never liked rain that much before, but… 

Something pushes him to look out his window and appreciate the water droplets that rain down from the dark clouds. 

He has never liked rain that much before, but… 

It's beautiful. 

Rain has never been beautiful to him. 

But as he looks at it, he wants to feel it against his skin. 

He does something he has never done before. He slips on his shoes and finds his way downstairs and out onto the quiet street. 

He looks up to the sky and he shuts his eyes. 

The drizzling raindrops feel like a hug he never knew he needed. 

The rain soaks through his clothes and wets his hair, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care when the rain feels like a long lost friend. 

"Yoonie?" his eyes open to see Hoseok standing in front of him. "What are you doing here?" 

Raindrops look like starlight on Hoseok's skin. It shimmers under the moonlight. "Needed some fresh air. What about you?" 

"I love it when it rains," Hoseok smiles. "It reminds me of good memories." 

"It does?" Yoongi's had this conversation before. He knows he has. But he can't quite remember when. 

Hoseok twirls around, a smile wide on his face. "I love dancing in the rain. It's so freeing." 

"It is?" Yoongi cocks his head. Hoseok takes a hold of his hand and spins him around. "H oseok–" 

" Shhh," Hoseok hushes him. "Just enjoy it." 

Yoongi's usually stubborn and would disagree if it were anyone else. But it's Hoseok.

  "There we go," Hoseok grins, his hand secure on Yoongi's waist and the other interlaced with Yoongi's hand. "Do you know how to waltz?" 

Yoongi gives him a look and the other laughs sweetly. "Just follow my lead." 

The street is quiet save for the pitter patter of rain and their steps. Yoongi's steps are clumsy and Hoseok's are that of an expert. But he doesn't make Yoongi feel inadequate in the slightest. Instead he encourages Yoongi to try again whenever he makes a mistake. 

Yoongi gets the hang of it quickly and he can't hold his giggles in when Hoseok dramatically dips him and spins him round and round and round. 

The rain gets heavier and Yoongi nearly slips but Hoseok's quick to hold onto him, smiling. "Caught you." 

Hoseok's smile is contagious. Yoongi can only smile back, laughing when Hoseok lifts him in the air and twirls them around. 

"You're making me dizzy," Yoongi says, "you keep spinning me." 

"Spinning is fun," Hoseok pulls Yoongi flush against him. "Especially when it's raining." 

Yoongi blinks out the water that falls in his eyes and clears his blurred vision. Hoseok's hair is completely wet and so is everything else. The rain is cold but. 

Why does Yoongi feel so warm? 

"What are you thinking about? Hmm?" Hoseok brushes Yoongi's hair out of his eyes. 

"This kinda feels like a dream," Yoongi nibbles his lip. "I don't know…"

"I hope it feels like a good dream," Hoseok's eyes sparkle. Yoongi has never wanted to paint anyone so desperately before. 

"Yeah… it does…" 

"It's probably past midnight already," Hoseok muses. His hands never leave Yoongi's waist and their breaths mingle together under the rain. "Happy Birthday, Yoongi." 

That hollowness in Yoongi's chest subsides. 

"I'm so proud of you," Hoseok cups his cheeks. "You have so many new friends and you're so happy. I'm so proud of you, Yoonie." 

Yoongi swallows. 

Something is missing. 

For a split second, he wonders if that something that's missing could be Hoseok. 

☆☆☆

Seokjin and Taehyung organized the birthday cake and Namjoon and Jimin organized all the food and drinks. Jungkook and Hoseok set up all the balloons and confetti. 

A birthday party. 

Yoongi hasn't had one in ages. 

They give him things, mostly paints and new brushes. Hoseok's present is securely wrapped with black paper unlike the other presents that were put into gift bags. 

The night goes smoothly. They all laugh together and speak for hours. They dance too. Jimin giggles more and more as the night goes on and he falls over, too drunk to think straight. 

Namjoon looks fondly at the giggling mess Jimin's become and he says, "I'll take him home."

When Taehyung deems Seokjin too drunk, they say their goodbyes and he drags Seokjin into their car.

Hoseok looks between Yoongi and Jungkook. A look that Yoongi can't decipher flashes over his face. 

"I should go. It was a great party." He gives Yoongi a quick hug and playfully slaps Jungkook on the arm. "Goodluck, Kook." 

Jungkook blushes a bright red. Yoongi cocks a questioning brow, "Goodluck with what?" 

Jungkook laughs awkwardly. "I'll tell you later." 

Hoseok smiles. It doesn't reach his eyes. "I'll see you around, Yoongi." 

It almost sounds like a goodbye. 

Yoongi doesn't understand.

With that, Hoseok leaves. It feels all too sudden. Too abrupt. 

"Uh…" Jungkook starts, "I'll put all your presents in your bedroom for you!" he nervously scuttles away, grasping all the gifts in his arms. 

Yoongi stares after him, bemused. 

Yoongi shrugs, figuring that Jungkook will tell him sooner or later. He starts cleaning his apartment up, a small smile playing at his lips as he replays the night in his head. 

He has found people that understand him. That fit perfectly with him. They've all made him feel like he's always belonged with them. 

Their colours shine so brightly. 

It's all thanks to Hoseok really. If Hoseok hadn't invited him over that day, things would be very different. He still doesn't know why exactly Hoseok invited him, but he's grateful either way. 

"Kook?" Yoongi calls after a few long minutes pass. "What's taking you so long?" 

There's no answer. It's too quiet. 

"I swear if you've fallen asleep on my bed," Yoongi scolds with no real bite, pushing open the bedroom door. "I'll–" 

It's a lot worse than what Yoongi imagined. 

Jungkook's looking through his notebook with blank eyes. 

All the sketches of Hoseok. 

Hoseok's hands. 

His eyes. 

His lips. 

Everything. 

Yoongi snatches the book from him, his face burning hot with embarrassment. "Why are you going through my things?" 

"It was…" Jungkook's shoulders fall and he slumps. "It was open and…" 

"Then you should have left it alone!" Yoongi snaps. "You know I don't like people going through my things, Jungkook!" 

Jungkook blinks up at him. His big eyes glossy with tears. 

"Don't cry," Yoongi lowers his voice and ruffles his hair. "I'm sorry, okay? But I really don't like people going through my personal things. So don't cry. I'm not that angry and–" 

"You love him." 

Yoongi freezes. "What?" 

Jungkook stands to his full height. His eyes are too sad to look at. "You love him, don't you?" 

"Who?" Yoongi blinks. 

"Don't play dumb," Jungkook grinds his teeth together. "You love him. You love Hoseok. "

Yoongi laughs, disbelief dripping from his words. "Just because I draw him sometimes doesn't mean—" 

"All those pages are just of him!" Jungkook grabs the book from Yoongi's hands and flips through the pages. "And you don't 'just' draw him. Look at the way you draw him…" 

Jungkook trails off, lips wobbling. "You love him." 

"I don't— why are you looking at me like that?" 

Why's Jungkook so sad? Why's he crying? Why–

"It's nothing," Jungkook shoves the notebook against Yoongi's chest. "I have to go." 

"Wait–"

" No. I'm not angry. I just… I need time." Jungkook shakes Yoongi off. "If you love him, just tell him." 

"I don't—" the door slams shut behind Jungkook. All that's left is the empty silence. 

Yoongi drops to the bed, feeling too overwhelmed to stand. 

He loves Hoseok? 

He doesn't know Hoseok enough to love him. He just always thought that the other was beautiful and kind. A little odd maybe. 

Love? 

Yoongi takes a deep breath and lays back, sighing loudly. 

His gifts catch his peripheral and he turns his head to the side. He still hasn't opened Hoseok's gift. It's still wrapped in it's black paper. 

Yoongi reaches for it. It's heavy, and looks to be a box. He rips off the paper and hums. It is a box. 

Yoongi opens it, revealing a few different things. There's a jar of his favorite coffee and a small boxed apple juice. There's also a tube of yellow acrylic paint with a sticky note attached to it that reads, ' For the paint that I wasted'.

Huh?

At the bottom of the box is a book that's also been wrapped by black paper. Yoongi's eyes widen when he realizes it's a limited edition of one of his favorite books. 

Yoongi has never told anyone that this was his favorite book. He has never mentioned it to Hoseok either. 

How—? 

He opens the book and written on the first page in fine print is a small message. 

 

We'll meet in our dreams again. 

Maybe one day, maybe never. 

But I'll keep hoping that we do. 

And if we don't, I'll keep on believing

in the magic that we shared. 

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

Because I do. 

I believe in you. 



It comes back to him. 

All at once. 

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

Everything comes back to him. 

Hoseok's soft smile and even softer hands. The taste of his vanilla biscuits and coffee. 

How Hoseok adores the rain and sunflowers. How Hoseok always giggled when they'd paint together. How he always got lost in Hoseok's deep brown eyes. 

He remembers. 

Yoongi remembers the boy he painted and that came to life and brought with him the happiness he didn't realize he was missing.

He remembers. 

Do you believe in magic, Yoongi? 

He remembers everything. 

Yoongi's a fool. 

The something that has been missing was right in front of him for months. 

Hoseok. 

The one that brought colour to his otherwise colourless world. 

The one that made him appreciate the little things. The rain. The laughter and smiles of people. 

The one that smiled at him brightly despite Yoongi looking at him like a stranger. 

It all makes sense now. The broken pieces are starting to put themselves back together. 

Those lingering looks Hoseok gave him that were filled with longing. The sunflowers Yoongi always painted. 

Painting came so easily to Yoongi because he was painting his memories. The memories he shared with Hoseok. 

Yoongi's a fool. 

How long has Hoseok known? How long has Yoongi been hurting him? 

How long has Hoseok been silently watching him?

The something that was missing was so close to him. Hoseok was always so close and Yoongi… 

Yoongi's a fool. 

How could he forget the constellations of Hoseok's eyes and the warmth that embraced him in his memories and dreams? 

How could he forget the dream that brought him back to life? That made him see the world differently? 

How could Yoongi forget him? 

Yoongi's a fool. 

Tears wet the page of the book, smudging Hoseok's delicate handwriting. 

The memories storm through his mind. Everything. 

Yoongi's a fool. 

How could he forget the magic that Hoseok gave him? 

☆☆☆

Yoongi's running. 

Hoseok wasn't home. 

"I'll see you around, Yoongi." 

It sounded like a goodbye. 

He's leaving. Maybe he has already left. 

Yoongi's running. 

He hopes he isn't too late. 

☆☆☆

Hoseok's at the train station. His bags are packed and he's ready to go somewhere — anywhere

Not forever. Just for a little while to distance himself from the chaos that comes from loving Yoongi. 

He needs some time before he can face Yoongi again. The next time they do meet, Hoseok will be in a better place and his feelings would have faded. Maybe then they can become proper friends. 

But for now, it's too hard to look at Yoongi. 

He wonders if Yoongi said yes to Jungkook. And if he did, are they holding hands right now? Does Jungkook get to see Yoongi's round cheeks become rosie? Does he get to see Yoongi's shy smile that shows his pink gums? 

Does he get to kiss Yoongi as much as he wants? 

Hoseok shakes his head, hoping for the intruding thoughts to leave. He'll only feel worse if he thinks about the possibilities. 

The train finally comes. It's late and only a few people are there. Hoseok takes one last look behind him and sighs. This place doesn't feel like home anymore. 

Three years is a long time. It was enough time for his friends to have lives of their own and to move on without him. And he can't even blame them for it. Life goes on. 

When he comes back, he'll be able to face Yoongi again. When he comes back, maybe then he will finally have a place to call home again. 

He steps onto the train and rolls his shoulders back. "You can do this, Hoseok," he whispers to himself, "You can do this." 

Hoseok plugs in his earphones and closes his eyes. He doesn't know where he's going. 

Anywhere

His throat tightens. He wishes he could go anywhere with Yoongi. 

"Is this seat taken?" Hoseok's eyes flutter open at the muffled voice. He pulls out his earphones and looks up. His eyes widened. "Well? Is it?" 

He's dreaming. He has to be. He fell asleep on the train and now he's dreaming. 

Yoongi sits beside him and interlaces their hands together. "So, where are we going, Seokie?" 

Seokie. 

Hoseok's eyes fill with tears. 

This can't be happening. This can't be… This cant be—

"Sorry for making you wait," Yoongi whispers, thumbing away Hoseok's tears. "I hope you'll let me make it up to you." 

"Is this… is this a dream?" 

Yoongi smiles. "Do you want it to be?" 

Hoseok shakes his head. "No. I want it to be real." 

Yoongi brings their foreheads together and whispers, "It's real. Everything was real." 

Yoongi hugs Hoseok close and buries his face in his neck. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I took so long. I'm sorry." 

Hoseok chokes on a sob and his arms wrap around Yoongi's smaller frame. "I thought you'd never remember. I thought—" 

"I promised you, didn't I?" Yoongi says, "I promised I'd never forget you. But I just took a little longer than planned. I'm not too late, am I?" 

Yoongi pulls back. His eyes are red-rimmed. He's been crying. 

"Am I too late?" 

If Yoongi took even a minute longer, he would have missed Hoseok completely. But he made it just in time. Just when Hoseok needed him most. 

Hoseok was so close to giving up on him — on them. But all those doubts have been washed away by Yoongi's unwavering gaze. 

Hoseok smiles. He hasn't smiled so genuinely in a long time. "No, you're not too late." 

Yoongi kisses the corner of Hoseok's mouth. It's sweet. It's perfect. "Where are we going, Seokie?" 

"Anywhere ."

Yoongi grins, his pretty gums on display. "The city didn't suit me anyways." 

"What about… our friends… Jungkook—" Hoseok doesn't want Yoongi to leave all these good things behind for the sake of him. He can't do that. He can't—

"Phones exist," Yoongi laughs. "And we can visit whenever we want. You're thinking too much. I'm usually the one that thinks too much." 

"But…" 

"I love you." 

Everything stops. 

It's nothing but them in their little bubble that feels too much like their shared dreams. 

"I love you, Seokie," Yoongi says, voice clear. "I'm sorry that I took so long to say it. But I love you." 

"I love you too," the words fall so easily from Hoseok's lips. "I love you too, Yoonie." 

Hoseok loves Yoongi more than words can describe. He has fallen in love with the man of his dreams. 

"God, I've missed you," Yoongi laughs. "I can't believe you were real all along." 

" You've missed me ?" Hoseok scoffs. "Do you know how long I've suffered?" 

"'Suffered' is a very strong word," Yoongi's crying now but a smile plays on his lips. "The first thing I'm doing once we get out of this train is making you as many pancakes as you want." 

"I'll make you some coffee," Hoseok smiles, giddy. "Just the way you like it." 

Yoongi rubs their noses together. "When we get the chance, let's paint some sunflowers together." 

If Hoseok were to tell anyone that he fell in love in a dream, they wouldn't believe him. They wouldn't believe Yoongi either. 

Why was it them? Why were they special? 

There isn't a specific answer. Or reasoning. Does every good thing need a reason for it to happen? 

The only answer Hoseok can think of is, "Do you believe in magic, Yoongi?" 

This time, Yoongi answers differently. This time he doesn't hesitate. "Yes. I do." 

Yoongi connects their lips. The kiss is tender, soft. Everything in between. 

Magic. 

What Yoongi and Hoseok share is Magic. 

☆☆☆

4 years ago, 10:30am, 10 minutes before the accident. 

 

"Is this seat taken?" 

Yoongi looks up and unplugs his earphones. 

He has never seen anyone so beautiful. 

Yoongi wants to paint him. 

"No," he says. 

The boy with fluffy brown hair and eyes filled with starlight sits beside him, a small smile on his lips. 

"My name is Hoseok, by the way." 

"Yoongi." 

Magic. 


 

 



- end