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Once Loved

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He saw him again.

After 2 years, the face of the person he once loved, appeared right in front of him.

He remembered his light laugh, always laced with a slight feeling of mischief. And his eyes, the same eyes that nearly disappeared into crescents whenever he smiled. That same smile that made his heartstrings tug whenever he sees the deep dimples on his cheeks.

Taeyong took a deep breath. He blinked away the blurred vision in his eyes, and the pearl white sleeve that collected his tears. His thin wrists bear a colorful bracelet with a memory Taeyong never wants to be forgotten.

 

★★★

 

“I made you a gift!” The younger boy shoved a small white box towards him, and he had the same smile Taeyong was always fond of.

With hesitance, the pink haired boy grabbed the box and flipped it over a couple of times before asking, “What is it?” Taeyong wasn’t used to receiving gifts, as he preferred giving.

The boy groaned, but his eyes were still bright with excitement, “Just open it!”

Taeyong undid the tiny white bow that held the present together, and the lid opened to reveal a cartoon duck printed tissue paper. He withheld a small laugh at the childish taste the boy had, and the said boy pouted while Taeyong took his time unwrapping the gift.

At last, he gasped when he pulled out a string bracelet made with his favorite colors, a shiny silver charm of a rose hung from between the material. Taeyong looked up at the boy, who wore a bright smile and motioned to put the jewelry on.

The older male put it on with haste and immediately rushed to the surprised boy. His arms made his way around him and Taeyong pulled his friend closer.

“Thank you, Jaehyun.”

 

★★★ 

 

Now he’s here, sharp eyes replaced the light childlike ones, and his smile tugged at his heartstrings for the wrong reason. The boy he loved was lost.

Taeyong sank to his knees, the harsh impact pained his body, but he did not help himself. There was no point. He was alone, trapped in a place he suffocated himself in, and each breath would be another second closer to his last.

He felt his chest constrict, and Taeyong chuckled in pain. His hands found his way to his throat, searching for a momentary relief of pain, and so he clasped his palms together.

There were so many things he wanted to do. There were so many things he could’ve done. He could’ve stopped Jaehyun, he could’ve held him for a bit longer, he should’ve begged him to stay. Taeyong knew it was too late to do anything.

So he screamed.

The noise rang throughout his brain, wrecking his body while harsh cries escaped his lips. He felt a warm feeling dripping down his chin, bouncing off the floors while Taeyong swiped his blood off his lips. His tear soaked sleeve was stained with deep drops of blood, and it only frustrated Taeyong further. He let his body sink fully onto the ground.

Maybe there was a way to go back in time, back to the year he was in love. When he felt that first spark of what was a firework of lust. He thought about it, while looking through the box of memories he kept, trying to grasp a sliver of hope into finding the boy he loved. Yet instead, he found himself sobbing harder on his cold wood floor, and deep inside he already knew.

He can’t bring back the dead.