It was a warm Sunday morning, for the season.
The sun rays were shining and flooding the bedroom with winter morning light, creating a halo of warm colors over the bed, on the scruffy tuft of hair sticking out of the plushy comforter. It gave them an unusually golden shine. The scene was ethereal, almost, and painfully domestic.
Tony stirred and moaned softly from under the covers and Steve's heart fluttered. It tingled down there as a rush of warmth spread throughout his body. It was a bit late for a morning wood though, Steve had been up and about for almost two hours already: he'd been painting and had done some cleaning, breakfast was ready and waiting for them, which meant there was more to that tingling. It was a perfect Sunday morning and although Tony was still half-asleep and seemingly not ready to wake up, seeing him like this, so defenseless in Steve's bed, gave Steve a sense of happiness that warmed him up to his core. His lips unintentionally quirked up into a loving smile before the tingling in his pants pushed the warm and fuzzy feelings away to replace them with something more intense.
Steve slipped under the cover and spooned his boyfriend, wrapping dirty-intentioned arms around him. His hands slowly and gently enlaced around his boyfriend. One hand slipped underneath his head, in the small space between his neck and the pillow, the other curled around his hip and started roaming aimlessly up and down his torso, splayed on the hard muscles of his chest. Tony stirred again and groaned, wriggling against Steve. The latter planted a soft kiss right behind his boyfriend's ear and Tony twitched and gasped with the sensation, still half-asleep.
Steve was fully hard now and started grinding against his boyfriend, settling himself right in the cleft of his firm ass. His hands were more assertive, his caresses more intense. His fingers slipped underneath Tony's shirt and started touching, hot fingertips against the tense muscles. Tony squirmed and Steve slowed down at first but didn't lose his determination when his boyfriend seemed so responsive. He kept fondling him and slipped a hand down Tony's pants. Tony was fully hard now, too, and Steve really wanted to taste him, first thing in the morning. His mouth already salivated at the thought. He could already picture himself crawling underneath the cover, up Tony's thighs, and getting a whiff of his musky scent before swallowing him down. He let his hand wrap itself around Tony's girth, with all the best intentions, but Tony writhed and disentangled himself, whining in protest.
Steve jerked away, immediately taking his hand off, and curled his arm around his boyfriend's waist instead. He didn't stop his ministrations however. He kissed Tony again, behind his ear and on the nape of his neck. His lips were following the line of his neck down to his shoulder and he started nibbling at the soft skin there. Tony shivered and groaned as he slowly woke up, certainly not indifferent to Steve's treatment but not responding either. Tony was burning against him and unconsciously wriggled his ass against Steve's crotch. Steve attempted to take him in his hand again. His splayed fingers slid down his stomach and slipped into Tony's pants again. This time his boyfriend jerked and giggled softly while he grabbed his hand away.
"Stop it." He mumbled in the pillow, still half-asleep. His croaky morning voice was muffled in the fluff of the bed.
His body seemed to say otherwise though, Tony was rock hard and burning against Steve's skin.
Steve almost recoiled, in disappointment, but his lust was stronger and so he tightened his embrace around his boyfriend and kissed his shoulder, biting it possessively. "What? Don't like that?" He muttered, voice full of hope, while blowing hot breath in the crook of Tony's neck.
Tony whined again, protestingly, and slithered away. It wasn't spiteful but rather amused. "I just really need to pee."
Steve sighed annoyedly against his shoulder blade and disentangled his arms. He let himself fall onto his back and closed his eyes not to see the tent forming under the covers that painfully reminded him how hard he was. "Fine..." He grumbled, making sure his deeply frustrated dissatisfaction got through the long disappointed sigh he let out as he did so.
Tony chuckled at that and turned around, fully awake now. He nuzzled against Steve and grabbed his head in his two hands. Big brown eyes plunged intently into Steve's eyes. "I really need to pee, now." He repeated, his mocking smile spread wide on his face. "But we have all day..." His voice was hoarse, sensual and full of promises. Enough for Steve to forget about it.
He pouted, although it really didn't matter anymore, and averted his eyes because the rejection had stung a little rather than out of frustration. Tony finally got up and headed for the bathroom. Steve had already given up on morning sex and set out to get ready for breakfast.
When Tony walked back inside, Steve was fully dressed and sadly soft. He threw a warm coat and old jeans at his boyfriend who blinked at him in surprise. Tony raised questioning eyes to him and Steve just blurted a casual "Get dressed! I made breakfast" in response.
His boyfriend complied without protest but the question seemed to linger in his eyes, still. "It's a surprise." Steve said as only explanation. "Today's such a beautiful day." He added.
The beginning of a soft smile appeared on Tony's face. His eyes shone a with warm affectionate glow and he followed Steve to the rooftop without a word.
Steve was honestly quite proud of his surprise. Breakfast looked amazing, despite the winter cold. He had set up a large blanket and several cushions. There was extra heating too. He had brought pancakes, toasts and bagels. There were jam and cheese and fruits. A thermos of coffee and one of milk. Fruit juices and freshly made pastries. He had even cooked bacon and scrambled eggs that he had kept warm next to the heater.
Tony stopped in his tracks and stared at the food on display with delightful amazement. He turned to Steve with an awed face and a smile filled with silent gratitude. "Wow." He said, eyes back on the food. "This looks amazing." He added while looking at Steve sideways, a skeptical look on his face. "Did you really do all of this?"
Steve startled and glared at him. "I ordered it, okay." He snapped. "Fuck you very much!"
Tony laughed loudly, his deep guttural laugh, and threw his head back. His smile a little smug. Then he turned back to Steve, eyes shining intently, honest and pure. "Thank you babe." He whispered sensually. "It a sweet surprise and a great idea."
The anger Steve had felt fluttered away, letting the sense of happiness Steve had been feeling ever since he had woken up this morning settle in his guts. He smiled back and they stared at each other silently, both smiling affectionately, both looking happy in the morning light and the fresh winter breeze.
The breakfast was ravenously devoured with the constant sound of Tony's ramblings buzzing in the background. Steve felt a little guilty but at some point he stopped listening, knowing exactly when Tony's speech was significant enough to be worth listening to. Otherwise he let his mind gloss over it. He didn't think Tony was fooled though. Actually, he was pretty sure Tony could tell exactly when his attention span had reached its limit but he kept talking like a sweet soothing lullaby and watched him with a certain fondness in his expression.
Tony stopped talking, finally and now he was sitting across from Steve, a few feet away. His legs were loosely crossed at the ankles and his arms were wrapped around his knees, to get warmer or to hold them up, Steve wasn't sure. The smoke of his first cigarette of the day was dancing around him like a silk veil hiding the blissed glint in his eyes and the warm and gentle smile on his lips.
He was so handsome, Steve thought. A surge of profound feelings of love flushed through him, overwhelming. How much he loved that man, it was almost painful at times. He should stop intellectualizing things, he knew that, but couldn't stop himself. He wondered why, after all those years, he still loved him like the early days, still desired him like a horny teenager. His heart still beat crazily whenever their eyes met.
Steve had always dreamed of it, but he had never truly believed in it. He had never thought, not in a million years, that it would ever be possible for him, or for anyone, to find something as close to his idea of true love as this. A love that was so pure and fresh and passionate, even after those first moments that people wrongly believed they would last until they realized a few years, sometimes only a few months later, that it was just a flash in the pan. Steve still loved Tony as passionately, as intensely as he had loved him at the beginning. It had been such a long time and yet he could never imagine this would ever stop. As far as he was concerned anyway, those feelings would never change.
Perhaps that was because they hadn't let the routine of a domestic life suffocate them.
"I've missed you." Steve said, breaking the peaceful silence between them. The sun was high in the sky now, illuminating Tony's face, and the soft breeze caressed his face, running through his scruffy brown hair with golden lights. He seemed an angel in a blissful cloud of ethereal smoke.
Tony exhaled the smoke with a hint of a mischievous smile, his eyes shone playfully. "I've missed you too." He said after a pregnant pause.
"I can't believe we haven't seen each other for almost a month..." Steve let out, words sighed regretfully.
And it suddenly occurred to him. Were they really a couple? Were they invested enough in this relationship? What he was feeling... Was it real? Or was it an illusion created by the absence and the sexual frustration? Would they be happy if things were different? Would they last in other circumstances? They only saw each other for the best moments after all.
"We could see each other more, you know, if we lived together..." Tony stated matter-of-factly. They could. They should, probably. Tony had wanted them to, for a while now, and had made his intentions clear. Steve had been more reluctant, although he couldn't say exactly why. They were still trying to find the perfect place, still, maybe that was why.
"Is that what it is?" Steve asked, amusement hinted in his voice. The question wasn't any less genuine though. "Are you punishing me because I won't move in to your place?" Tony leant back, propped on his arms, and unfolded his long legs. He threw his head back when a surprised laugh escaped him at Steve's not so innocent accusation. " 'cause it works..." Steve added softly, mumbling in the collar of his warm coat.
Tony was grinning now and shook his head in denial. He chuckled while rolling his eyes. "Do you really think I would do something like this?"
"I think you could..." Steve answered after a moment of reflection. "But I don't think you would."
Tony's smile faded. He pinched his lips, head tilted on the side. "We knew it would be like this with both our jobs. I've just been really busy. I wish I weren't but... this is how things are. The rest is up to us now, I guess."
"I hate it when you sound so mature," Steve sighed while huddling up on himself because of the cold. "When did that happen?"
Tony smiled gently. He sounded and looked so composed and grounded. Stable. It stirred something in Steve.
"Do you still go therapy?"
Tony laughed again, startled by the unexpected question. He sounded both a little amused and a little bitter. "Isn't that the kind of things my boyfriend should already know about me after three years?" He stared at Steve, eyes challenging, and with the same soft and loving smile and spoke with so much gentleness. "I'm still going." He finally answered, without waiting for Steve's reaction. "One hour. Twice a month."
Steve's stomach clenched. Tony kept growing and one day he would leave him behind. Maybe Steve should go back to therapy too.
"How am I supposed to know that?" Steve asked, not without feeling a little guilty. "We never see each other." And it sounded a little more reproachful than he had intended to.
"I know everything you do, everyday of the week." Tony replied casually.
Steve shivered. "That sounds a little stalkery..."
Tony chuckled and smiled with a closed mouth. "Probably..." He agreed. "But I'm not stalking you, though. I just listen to what you say. And I ask about you, because I care. Because knowing what you do is important to me."
Steve felt his blood suddenly rush to his cheeks. They were suddenly very hot. He averted his eyes, feeling slightly ashamed. There was absolutely no reproach in the tone of Tony's voice however. He was just stating a fact, and maybe that was the worst of it all. Like Tony had accepted and resigned a long time ago.
"I don't, right?" Steve finally admitted, looking away. "I don't listen to you."
Tony shrugged and smiled reassuringly. "We're just different, Steve." He said after a moment of heavy silence. "The way I love you is different from the way you love me. I'm just saying that...you're allowed to ask about me. You're entitled to know that kind of things about me, I feel like you forget that sometimes. I've always felt that with you, like you think you have to draw a line that you shall never cross... but you can cross that line. I wish you would... And maybe I'll put you in your place if I think you're going too far, just like you do with me, but that doesn't mean you have to keep from trying."
Steve opened wide eyes and felt his insides melt with love. His lips parted with the urge to jump on his boyfriend and steal a kiss.
They should fuck. Everything is fine when they fuck. And Tony looked so handsome this morning, so manly, ready to catch Steve every time he screwed up and fell.
"So you were punishing me after all..." Steve said defensively. "Trying to teach me a lesson."
Tony smiled again and rolled his eyes. "I'll never stoop to that."
"So what now?" Steve asked, not really meaning it. The question might seem a little out of the blue but again, it was genuine. If you looked closely, what did they share except stolen moments? "Can we really do this? I mean, what's the point of carrying on with this relationship if we're not capable of finding time for each other?"
Tony's eyes narrowed and he scrutinized Steve's face with an unsettling seriousness. "Is that what you want?" He finally asked, tone indifferent.
"No!" Steve blurted out, a little panicky. The prospect of pushing Tony out his life felt suddenly so real and unbearable.
Tony smiled again, looking smug. He stared intently in Steve's eyes, never letting go, challenging. "Move in with me, then."
Steve startled at the impromptu question. "What?"
Tony was still smiling, expression gentle but determined. "Move in with me. Today." His tone was a little too assertive, a little too resolute. Steve's heart wavered. "Let's pack your bags now and move you into the penthouse."
"I knew it!" Steve exclaimed, falsely bitter. "This was all part of your grand scheme to make me surrender and change my mind about it." He might sound a little wary but he was more amused than anything else.
"No." Tony categorically replied, blunt and direct. "I just felt it was the right time to ask again."
"I thought we agreed..." Steve choked out, out of breath, feeling already defeated. Tony's stare was too powerful.
"I'm not saying we should give up on our dream." Tony explained, pragmatic. "But in the meantime, you can still move in with me."
"We've been through this, Tony, you know why I don't want to live in the Tower."
"It's just temporary."
"And I feel like it's a temporary thing that's going to last forever."
"And what's so wrong about it?" Tony's question was direct and yet so meaningful. He was still staring, eyes serious and determined. The smile on his lips still so contrastingly gentle.
Steve paused and reflected upon it. What was so wrong about it? Truth was, Steve didn't even remember anymore.
"Move in with me." Tony insisted, unyielding. "You can keep your place still, if things turn sour you can always go back. What's the worst that can happen?"
Nothing probably, or maybe them rotting away with a boring routine. Who knew?
Obviously Steve's reluctance until now had had little to do with the place after all. Tony was still determined, hopeful, and a little insecure maybe, but determined and confident that this—them living together—would work out fine.
"Nothing I guess..." Steve admitted in a reluctant whisper.
Tony smiled victoriously.
"You're really persistent, you know." Steve protested, defeated.
"But you like that about me, don't you?" Tony grinned smugly. "Stark men get what they want. You should know that by now." He said provocatively, and then added, with a bit more hesitation in his voice. "Would we be together if I wasn't?"
Probably not, in hindsight. Tony was definitely the rock in their relationship, Steve was ashamed to admit. He was way too insecure about them to invest himself but it was time he brought his first stone to the foundations, or else what about them?
"Yes." He finally said, meaning it with all his intent.
He was surprised at how easy it had been. Moving in together, they should have done that two years ago. All that time, stupidly wasted. Steve wasn't about to start regretting things, however. Time to move forward.
Tony startled and looked suddenly blessed with angelic innocence. His smirk died down and he parted his lips in confusion, unable to realize how easily he had managed to convince Steve. That was one of those moments when Steve realized most of Tony's confidence was an act. Maybe Tony was as scared as he was but he had always been so much braver than him, on every aspect. Tony's confused face was a jewel. He was so hesitant in his repressed happiness. He was beautiful.
Steve wanted to fuck him.
Very much right now.
He jumped on his feet, walked over to him and squatted on his crotch, straddling him. He caught his startled face between his hands to give him a passionate kiss. Tony was surprised at first and stumbled backwards, catching himself on one arm and supporting both their weight but soon he melted into the kiss and groaned softly into Steve's mouth, his tongue warm and mellow and eager to respond to Steve's forwardness.
Steve let go of his boyfriend's mouth. He tasted like coffee and cigarette. Steve hated the mix, to be honest. "I'll move in with you." He said in a whispering but determined sigh. "Tonight. Let's fucking do this! It's been long overdue."
Tony opened wide stunned eyes. He reclined more, propped on his elbows.
"But you—" Steve added, eyes plunged into Tony's, very much determined. "—will quit smoking from now on."
Tony smiled and grabbed his pack of cigarette to smash it in his hand in a silent agreement. He chuckled. "I'll try..." He finally said in reply and Steve muffled his words into a long passionate kiss, both hands holding his face preciously.
Tony leant on one hand and slid the other up and down Steve's side, seemingly trying to push him away.
"'uh 'uh." Steve protested while shaking his head on both sides. "You owe me a fuck, now."
Tony smiled against Steve's lips. "Back in the warmth of your bed?" He attempted, being awkwardly prudish.
"What's wrong with here?" Steve insisted, pushing a hand to Tony's torso.
The sun was warm, despite the seasonal cold, and they had blankets and cushions and everything to be comfortable. And there was something dangerously exciting about fucking on the rooftop of Steve's building on a winter Sunday morning. Steve rocked his hips on his boyfriend's crotch to make his intentions clear.
"Anyone could see us..." Tony answered pragmatically, not paying attention to Steve's seductiveness, or pretending to anyway. "You sure that's what you want?"
"No one can see up here." Steve answered.
"Never heard of drones?"
"Why would drones be flying above my building?"
Steve lived in a relatively calm neighborhood after all.
"Because they know you live here?"
Tony annoyingly had an answer for everything and it was starting to get in the way. Steve ignored his boyfriend and pushed harder, laying him on his back. He squeezed his thighs on each side of him and started disheveling him, peeling each layer of clothes off of him slowly. Tony let him and buckled up, hips unintentionally rocking forward.
"I'm gonna ride that cock right about now, on that roof, filming drones or not." Steve declared.
Tony raised a hand and ran it softly on Steve's cheek, brushing his hair off his face. He pinched his lips and wetted them sensually. "You're okay with everyone knowing about this? After all my efforts to be the "woman" in our relationship?" His expression changed from tender to cheeky and teasing in an instant.
Steve stopped and straightened up. "Are you trying to manipulate me into fucking you again?" He asked, scrutinizing his face. Tony smiled back but said nothing. He grabbed Steve's waist and rocked him gently in the same rhythm as his own hips. "No, fucking way Tony." Steve added. "It's my turn now."
He leant down and caught his boyfriend's mouth. Tony groaned against his lips and held his head strongly while his other hand clutched his hip. He surrendered so beautifully, vanquished, and Steve resumed undressing him, salivating at the prospect.
Steve had won.