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hi, wrong number here

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(7:15 PM) hey bitch


(7:20 PM) hello, toph


(7:25 PM) you free on friday night?

(7:26 PM) don’t say no I know you’re lying

(8:35 PM) bitch don’t ghost me!!! the fuck


(8:40 PM) some of us have work, you know

(8:41 PM) not all of us get five hundred dollars in allowance a month from their millionaire parents


(8:42 PM) that’s super rich coming from you, sozin

(8:43 PM) heh, no pun intended

(8:44 PM) and don’t call that messing around at the tea shop work

(8:25 PM) old man would literally pay you for breathing


(8:45 PM) I work!!!

(8:45 PM) but also, touche about uncle


(8:47 PM) you haven’t answered my question




(9:15 PM) we’re closing in 45 minutes. i’ll text you then, you little asshole


(9:20 PM) you better.



(10:15 PM) alright, alright, we’re done. we’re closed.




(10:17 PM) what if I wasn’t free on friday night

(10:18 PM) what if I had other plans


(10:20 PM) with who??? kiera knightley???? kiyi’s barbie movie collection??? ur mom’s abnormally large cabbages???


(10:21 PM) har har

(10:22 PM) I have friends besides you, you know


(10:23 PM) who???


(10:24 PM) like idk

(10:25 PM) chan and ruon-jian



(10:27 PM) chan? chan who invites you to parties so azula can come chan? who won’t understand that she kissed him that one time because of comphet, chan?

(10:28 PM) what could y’all possibly do together friday night

(10:29 PM) I’m imagining you watching the crown while chan and ruon-jian do a keg stand or some shit


(10:30 PM) what’s your point, toph.


(10:33 PM) dude, relax, i’m just kidding


(10:37 PM) I’m not mad.


(10:39 PM) no, you are, I was just kidding

(10:40 PM) you don’t need to have a fuckton of dumb high school friends to be cool

(10:41 PM) I like you the way you are


(10:45 PM) okay. thanks

(10:46 PM) oddly heartfelt moment we just had there


(10:47 PM) yeah it’s disgusting

(10:48 PM) answer the goddamn question, zuko


(10:49 PM) sorry

(10:49 PM) I am free on Friday night but it depends on what you want me to do

(10:50 PM) nothing crazy. for real this time


(10:51 PM) it’s not crazy like last time, don’t worry, we won’t have another heist

(10:52 PM) my cousin ming’s getting married and I have to go to the massively dumb wedding

(10:53 PM) I tried to get out of it but my parents got pissy

(10:54 PM) my mom said I could bring a friend though and it wouldn’t totally suck if you came

(10:55 PM) my parents like you, so that’s a bonus


(10:56 PM) I’m oddly touched


(10:57 PM) please come with me it will literally fucking suck so hard

(10:58 PM) there’s probably gonna be some like good food and stuff and we could leave early and go to mcdonald’s and do nuggetgate


(11:00 PM) nuggetgate is a tempting offer

(11:00 PM) i’m in

(11:01 PM) although you might’ve asked azula, she would have wanted to go for her like, social media shit


(11:02 PM) I hate to break it to you, zuko, but your sister’s a fucking asshole

(11:03 PM) like. not as much as she USED to be but spirits she’d be so unbearable at that wedding

(11:04 PM) she’d NETWORK

(11:05 PM) plus she’d try to find a way to sneak her minions in and blame it on me



(11:07 PM) yeah, true

(11:08 PM) alright when do I have to be ready


(11:09 PM) come over after school and we’ll figure it out from there


(11:10 PM) cool


(11:12 PM) oh and can you ask uncle if he’s coming

(11:13 PM) he’s probably invited


(11:14 PM) sure

(12:00 AM) agreeing to being a babysitter has been the worst decision of my life.


(12:01 AM) i really hope you aren’t babysitting right this second


(12:02 AM) no, thank tui and la

(12:02 AM) also, sorry for texting you so late! I hope i didn’t wake you or something


(12:03 AM) you didn’t! i’m watching netflix wide awake

(12:04 AM) I thought you liked kids?


(12:05 AM) I do, but not enough to watch 4-5 in one day, PLUS an enormous dog


(12:06 PM) ALONE?


(12:07 PM) YES!


(12:08 PM) that has to be some level of illegal


(12:09 PM) they gave me the number of some lady I could call if there was an emergency but like…no. never agreeing to this again. implementing a two child maximum rule from now on

(12:10 PM) I have never been more tired in my life

(12:10 PM) and when I got home, I had to study for my AP Bio test so like…


(12:11 PM) you’re a hero

(12:12 PM) that’s straight up. workplace abuse

(12:14 PM) they better have paid you right


(12:16 PM) to be fair, they really paid me a lot, and they DID warn me it would get hectic

(12:17 PM) what they did not tell me is that I would be preventing a war among the neighborhood’s children


(12:18 PM) what do they even fight about??? what conflict could they possibly have in their suburban lives??


(12:19 PM) this kid kuvira across the street apparently taunted my kids by telling them she was gonna take over their yard

(12:20 PM) they all went to beat her up and I had to physically pull one of the kids off of her

(12:21 PM) that was only one of the day’s many battles. earlier, a little boy named mako and the girl who beat up kuvira (her name is korra) got into a fight about who would get to marry another little girl named asami

(12:22 PM) asami and korra (now married) then got into a fight about who would feed the dog and, to my horror, mako and his brother (bolin) took sides

(12:23 PM) bolin then asked me to marry him and cried when I said I had to ask my dad first


(12:25 PM) poor bolin.



(12:27 PM) so how was your day?


(12:29 PM) pretty normal, as wednesdays go

(12:30 PM) apparently I’m going to a wedding on Friday so I gotta figure out what I’m gonna wear


(12:31 PM) is it a relative?


(12:32 PM) friend’s relative, she wants me to come so she won’t get bored

(12:33 PM) her family’s rich as FUCK and she absolutely hates it


(12:34 PM) what, like, Beifong-level rich?


(12:35 PM) heh, it’s funny that you say that, actually,


(12:36 PM) WHAT???????




(12:40 PM) we grew up together and we go to the same school, yes

(12:41 PM) I think one of my distant cousins married into them at some point


(12:41 PM) ZUKO!


(12:43 PM) why are you freaking out like this?????


(12:45 PM) alright, alright, I’ll stop freaking out over you casually being friends with one of the literal richest families on the planet

(12:46 PM) not to sound weird but like if you go to school together then you’re rich too?

(12:47 PM) please tell me you’re not related to like…the windsors, or something


(12:49 PM) NO LMAO

(12:50 PM) it’s complicated

(12:51 PM) my dad’s side of the family is descended, distantly, from old fire nation royalty or some shit like that

(12:51 PM) the family business is, um, lucrative

(12:52 PM) used to be, anyway

(12:53 PM) not really sure what exactly we do/did. i think it’s the mafia or something


(12:54 PM) …


(12:55 PM) I’m KIDDING

(12:56 PM) we’re in the natural gas industry



(12:59 PM) you had me for a second there


(1:00 AM) lmaoo

(1:01 AM) you think I’d just TELL you if my dad’s side of the family was the mafia?


(1:02 AM) I mean, it’s already established that you are, and I quote, “such shit at internet security”


(1:03 AM) …true


(1:04 AM) also, um, that industry really might as well be the mafia lol

(1:05 AM) for all the harm it causes

(1:06 AM) no offense


(1:07 AM) none taken, you’re absolutely right

(1:08 AM) it’s why my uncle left the business, actually

(1:09 AM) among other reasons


(1:10 AM) I keep liking your uncle more and more


(1:11 AM) I get the feeling he’d like you too


(1:11 AM) so your dad runs the company?


(1:15 AM) no

(1:16 AM) right now some asshole named zhao is running it until my sister’s ready

(1:17 AM) I’m, um. written out of the will. which is good because I don’t want it.


(1:18 AM) that sounds kind of shitty.


(1:18 AM) it is

(1:19 AM) can we talk about something else?


(1:19 AM) of course!

(1:20 AM) so what about your marginally more normal family


(1:21 AM) I wouldn’t call us normal per se

(1:22 AM) it’s me and my dad and my brother, and my gran-gran and our step-grandpa

(1:23 AM) who my brother calls grampakku (his name is pakku)

(1:24 AM) my dad travels a lot so gran-gran basically raised us

(1:25 AM) we’re from the southern water tribe


(1:26 AM) really?? I’ve never met anyone from there

(1:27 AM) I hear it’s super beautiful


(1:28 AM) absolutely is, and more beautiful than you’ve heard, probably

(1:29 AM) when we used to live there I really loved waking up at dawn and seeing how the sunlight would reflect on the snow

(1:30 AM) it’s a whole other world, really


(1:31 AM) wow

(1:32 AM) and the snow’s just there all year?


(1:33 AM) yup

(1:34 AM) actually, when sokka and I first came to ba sing se we were so confused like

(1:35 AM) the ground felt kind of naked without it?

(1:36 AM) still kind of does

(1:37 AM) the winters here are kind of laughable lol


(1:38 AM) it probably is for you lmao

(1:39 AM) do you guys not bother with scarves and stuff?


(1:40 AM) we’re not really as affected but we still do wear heavier clothes in the winter here lol, especially as we got more used to earth kingdom weather

(1:41 AM) except sokka, he wears the same like, six t-shirts and shorts year-round


(1:42 AM) oh, he’s THAT guy



(1:44 AM) I think it’s less his tolerance for the cold and more that he’s a showoff lol

(1:45 AM) he and our friend aang are like that

(1:46 AM) aang goes on jogs shirtless in the middle of january


(1:47 AM) that feels…dangerous


(1:48 AM) I would agree, but aang is freakishly healthy and fit

(1:49 AM) he’s training to be an Olympic gymnast

(1:50 AM) he’s also vegetarian and does a bunch of different martial arts


(1:51 AM) remind me to never get in a fight with your superhuman vegetarian Olympic gymnast friend


(1:52 AM) no danger there, aang is the sweetest person in the world

(1:53 AM) he is deceivingly small, but he absolutely could fucking deck a person if he wanted to but he’d just choose not to bc he’s an air nomad and believes in non-violence and is also very huggable

(1:54 AM) if there’s anyone you should be afraid of it’s my friend suki, who has trained in martial arts since she was literally an infant by her terrifying aunt

(1:55 AM) she’s not an air nomad and she gives no fucks

(1:56 AM) you should also fear me, but that’s a given


(1:57 AM) of course, who could forget

(1:58 AM) nothing scary about sokka?


(1:59 AM) his internet history


(2:00 AM) HA



(2:02 AM) he does it to himself

(2:03 AM) today he was wearing a gray shirt and he called it “dark white”

(2:04 AM) we argued the entire way to school and then we had to make suki decide

(2:05 AM) then he threw a whole tantrum when suki, like a normal person, said “gray” and he said feminists were ruining color

(2:06 AM) so suki had to deck him


(2:07 AM) …

(2:08 AM) don’t tell me he’s, like. you know. a reddit incel or something


(2:09 AM) oh, no, no.

(2:10 AM) no, most of the things along those lines he says are just jokes to rile suki up. they’ve been flirting for the longest fucking time and neither of them will make a move OR take a hint

(2:11 AM) he used to be kind of an ass about feminism and the like when we were younger, especially when it came to me, but he grew out of it

(2:12 AM) he definitely never reached incel level, though, I would never let him


(2:12 AM) that’s good

(2:13 AM) everyone’s been through their asshole phase. I know I have


(2:14 AM) et tu, zuko?


(2:15 AM) not in that particular direction

(2:16 AM) but I had a lot of anger issues and I was generally pretty terrible to a lot of people I care about

(2:17 AM) mostly uncle, who was by no means obligated to deal with my shit but still dealt with it anyway


(2:18 AM) that’s love, I guess. people who love you at your best will love you at your worst.

(2:19 AM) I mean. I was an asshole too at some point

(2:20 AM) I took my mom’s passing really badly for YEARS and sokka got the brunt of it

(2:21 AM) one time I yelled that he didn’t love her like I did, which is massively hurtful and unfair

(2:22 AM) he forgave me after, like, ten minutes, even though I really crossed the line


(2:23 AM) I’m really sorry about your mom. You must’ve been close.


(2:24 AM) We were really close. But it’s alright. still hurts, but, well. I’ve come to terms with it.


(2:25 AM) I’m glad you did. And I’m glad you had Sokka.


(2:26 AM) yeah, me too.

(2:27 AM) this got weirdly personal, lol


(2:28 AM) right, sorry

(2:29 AM) its late and I spill stuff a lot when its late lol

(2:30 AM) sorry if I made you uncomfortable


(2:31 AM) absolutely not! I’m the one who kept asking questions

(2:32 AM) it feels easy to talk to you about stuff like that, anyway

(2:33 AM) probably because we haven’t really been friends the traditional way, lol


(2:34 AM) haha, yeah

(2:35 AM) I’m glad we’re friends too.

(2:36 AM) most of my friends and family (asides from uncle) aren’t really the touchy-feely type

(2:37 AM) not that you are

(2:38 AM) but we’re not really the type to talk about feelings or I’m not comfortable talking to them about it

(2:39 AM) like my friend ty lee is super into auras and stuff and she’s always encouraging us to be more open, but like, she tells azula and mai (my ex, and their other best friend) everything, so that’s a no from me


(2:40 AM) I guess it’s similar for me.

(2:41 AM) sokka and dad don’t really talk about their emotions because they’re Manly Men™

(2:42 AM) aang is very in touch with his emotions but sometimes he gets frustrated when people don’t process their feelings with the same ease that he does. I love him very much but he can get a little self-righteous sometimes

(2:43 AM) I guess I can always talk to gran-gran, but sometimes I just don’t want to burden her


(2:44 AM) I can get that

(2:45 AM) sometimes you feel that you should just deal with it yourself even if it’s not the healthiest thing in the world


(2:46 AM) yeah, exactly

(2:47 AM) I guess I don’t like making others worry about me


(2:28 AM) yeah.

(2:29 AM) well. look at us.


(2:30 AM) 



(2:32 AM) we really had a whole therapy session at, like, 2 AM


(2:33 AM) you know what they say. nothing like a late night conversation to work through your repressed trauma


(2:36 AM) Psychologists Hate Her! Find Out Katara’s Secret to Bottling Up Her Emotions!




(2:38 AM) shit, it really is almost 3



(2:40 AM) hey, it’s okay!!! I’ve taken tests on less sleep.


(2:41 AM) I command you to go to sleep.


(2:42 AM) alright, alright, your royal highness


(2:43 AM) your royal highness?


(2:45 AM) you mentioned fire nation royalty >:D


(2:46 AM) which i now regret. deeply.


(2:47 AM) no takebacks

(2:48 AM) alright, I’ll be getting to sleep now. goodnight, zuko :)


(2:49 AM) goodnight, katara :)

(11:00 AM) hey, uncle, are you going to ming beifong’s wedding this friday?


(11:15 AM) Hello, Zuko. Yes, I Shall Be Going To The Wedding.

(11:18 AM) It Seems Only Yesterday That Young Ming Had Been Learning To Read. How Time Flies!

(11:19 AM) Are You Invited? I Did Not Know You And Ming Were Acquainted.


(11:28 AM) we’re not, i’m going as toph’s plus one


(11:33 AM) I See, How Lovely. Make Sure To Wear Your Absolute Best, As The Beifongs Are Very Sensitive About These Things.

(11:34 AM) We Don’t Want A Repeat Of The Heist.


(11:35 AM) of course, of course


(11:36 AM) It Will Be A Very Enjoyable Wedding! I Am Looking Forward To Seeing You and Toph There.


(11:38 AM) same, it’ll be fun :)

(11:40 AM) uncle’s coming to the wedding