(11: 00 AM) what the fuck is an lol doll
(11:05 AM) uhhhhh
(11:06 AM) one of the kids I babysit has one
(11:06 AM) it’s like all the rage with kids rn
(11:07 AM) it’s ugly as shit
(11:08 AM) what kinda colors are these
(11:09 AM) i’m sure they’re pretty enough for little kids
(11:10 AM) not to judge you and your manliness or anything, but why are you looking at LOL dolls on a saturday morning
(11:11 AM) do you collect dolls. do you have a blog about it. are you gonna start lol doll discourse
(11:15 AM) har har
(11:16 AM) it’s my sister’s birthday this week and idk what to get her
(11:17 AM) I’ve been googling “little girl toys”
(11:18 AM) aww
(11:19 AM) how old is she?
(11:20 AM) she’s turning five on tuesday
(11:21 AM) AWWWW!!!! CUTE!!!
(11:22 AM) have you maybe tried narrowing down her interests?
(11:23 AM) her interests are always changing
(11:24 AM) last week it was that ladybug shit
(11:25 AM) before that paw patrol
(11:26 AM) I’m not taking any chances
(11:27 AM) she likes dolls
(11:28 AM) I guess LOL dolls are a good place to start then
(11:29 AM) you babysit?
(11:30 AM) i’m the oldest girl in the neighborhood + I have a reputation for being responsible so all the moms pay me to watch their kids
(11:32 AM) ngl that sounds like it sucks
(11:31 AM) it’s a hustle so I’m not complaining. The kids are cute too
(11:32 AM) sometimes my friend aang shows up and helps, kids love him
(11:33 AM) he brings his giant fluffy dog and the kids just spend the whole time petting him. I barely do anything
(11:35 AM) alrighty then. cute mental picture
(11:36 AM) I can’t imagine tbh I kinda like suck with kids that aren’t my sister
(11:37 AM) I get nervous that they don’t like me
(11:37 AM) one time my mom made me watch one of her gardening club friends’ kid and I gave him a knife
(11:39 AM) ZUKO!!!!! A KNIFE????
(11:40 AM) to be fair he wasn’t that young
(11:41 AM) he was like. 11
(11:42 AM) I was playing with knives at 11 and I turned out fine
(11:43 AM) …
(11:44 AM) stop JUDGING
(11:45 AM) he didn’t even get hurt
(11:45 AM) Mental Note: Never Leave Zuko Alone with A Child
(11:46 AM) I’d be hella concerned if you left a child alone with some random guy you met on the internet
(11:47 AM) like that’s on you
(11:47 AM) semantics
(11:49 AM) another time I lost my ex’s brother at the park
(11:49 AM) some other kids found him and literally wanted us to pay them ten dollars so we could get him back
(11:50 AM) legit extortion
(11:50 AM) is that why your ex broke up with you? I hope it is
(11:51 AM) who said that she’s the one who broke up with me
(11:52 AM) ah, jeez, sorry
(11:53 AM) I mean, you’re right, but whatever
(11:54 AM) that’s not when we broke up
(11:55 AM) alright then.
(11:57 AM) um. anyway
(11:58 AM) those kids were messed UP
(11:59 AM) who taught them that???
(12:00 PM) I don’t even know
(12:00 PM) neither of us had ten dollars so we called my sister to come and scare them into giving us the kid back
(12:01 PM) your…five year old sister
(12:02 PM) wow, zuko. wow
(12:03 PM) you couldn’t have just scared them yourself???
(12:05 PM) FIRST OF ALL
(12:06 PM) I have two sisters
(12:06 PM) one is almost five and the other is currently sixteen
(12:07 PM) SECOND OF ALL
(12:07 PM) children mock me
(12:08 PM) THIRD OF ALL
(12:09 PM) you have not met azula. she’s an eldritch horror and she’s the most annoying person on earth
(12:10 PM) “children mock me”
(12:11 PM) i’m learning so many fun things about you today, zuko
(12:11 PM) one day I’m gonna dig up some embarrassing shit about you
(12:12 PM) this relationship is too imbalanced
(12:13 PM) I don’t even know why I told you all of this
(12:14 PM) at least you’re not the one who screamed at a random stranger that the bathroom smelled like shrek’s armpits
(12:15 PM) true, true
(12:16 PM) still. You’re all dignified medical student responsible babysitter and I’m here telling you about lol dolls and my tumblr discourse
(12:17 PM) idk what to say. I’m a dignified person
(12:18 PM) we’ll see about that
(12:19 PM) one day I WILL embarrass you, katara
(12:20 PM) I think you’ve done enough embarrassing for one day, buddy
(12:20 PM) ouch
(12:25 PM) what the fuck. 32 DOLLARS???????? FOR THIS UGLY ASS PLASTIC DOLL??????
(12:26 PM) it doesn’t even have real hair or anything
(12:27 PM) JEEZ
(12:27 PM) are you sure you’re not looking at like a playset or something
(12:28 PM) no this is just the doll
(12:29 PM) the playsets are in like. 50s and 60s categories.
(12:30 PM) this isn’t even taking into consideration the OMG dolls, which are like the tall versions
(12:31 PM) that’s capitalism for you
(12:32 PM) I mean, maybe dolls are not the way. I heard they teach girls to have false expectations about body image
(12:32 PM) fuck this
(12:33 PM) they’re ugly as hell anyway
(12:34 PM) why don’t you ask azula what she’s getting?
(12:35 PM) azula got her like, those dr pepper flavored lip balm things, and a lighter
(12:36 PM) ….a lighter
(12:37 PM) azula loved setting shit on fire when we were kids
(12:38 PM) like I said, eldritch horror
(12:38 PM) also she’s trying to piss our mom off
(12:39 PM) sounds complicated
(12:40 PM) lmaooo
(12:41 PM) understatement of the century
(12:42 PM) you gotta unlock level 5 friendship for me to tell you about azula vs mom: civil war though
(12:43 PM) my mom’s gonna confiscate it anyway so no harm done
(12:45 PM) I’m scrolling through popular toys rn
(12:46 PM) what the fuck
(12:47 PM) POOPSIE??
(12:49 PM) WHAT?????????????????
(12:48 PM) it’s….this toy where you make like. Multicolored poop shaped keychains….out of slime??? What…
(12:49 PM) there’s this…unicorn with diapers on
(12:50 PM) …
(12:51 PM) that’s kinda fucked up
(12:52 PM) tell me about it
(12:53 PM) HELPPPPPPPPPPP LOOK AT THESE VARIETIES
(12:54 PM) Attached: 1 image
(12:56 PM) ???!?!??!???!??!?!???!??@??!>?!?!?@<@KLMDJNJSNdOSK@P:LW<?@@MDSMcd
(12:57 PM) YOU STILL ALIVE???
(12:58 PM) I WISH I WASN’T????
(12:59 PM) tag yourself I’m “caca corgi”
(1:00 PM) I’m “the hunk”
(1:01 PM) the way they made a bunch of knockoff poopified brands
(1:02 PM) words cannot describe how much I hate this
(1:02 PM) they made…glittery, cute, poop and are selling it to kids for 25 dollars
(1:03 PM) “del farto”
(1:04 PM) I hope it doesn’t actually smell like poop
(1:05 PM) that would be a SHIT gift
(1:06 PM) :D amirite
(1:08 PM) you just made it worse.
(1:09 PM) come on, it’s funny
(1:10 PM) I bet you’re laughing, you STINKER
(1:11 PM) hehe
(1:11 PM) zuko, if you keep making poop and fart themed jokes I’m gonna block you
(1:12 PM) :(
(1:13 PM) FINE
(1:14 PM) party pooper
(1:14 PM) NO I DIDN’T MEAN THAT ONEE I PORMISE
(1:15 PM) you’re such a dork!!!!!!!!
(1:16 PM) this is just so. weird
(1:17 PM) no wonder kids these days are so fucked up
(1:18 PM) idk tbh like…gross humor and slime and poop and fart jokes and stuff have been marketed to kids for as long as I can remember
(1:19 PM) I remember I had a bunch of those yuk yuks kid magazines where it was just page after page of fart and booger joke comics
(1:21 PM) you’re right
(1:22 PM) sokka loved that stuff
(1:22 PM) he’d drive me crazy with those “gross humor” jokes he read
(1:23 PM) still does, actually, and way less funny than you, which should be humanly impossible
(1:24 PM) gonna join forces with sokka and advocate for you to stop oppressing us so we can make all the poop jokes we want
(1:25 PM) do that and i’m gonna get azula to set you on fire with your sister’s new lighter
(1:26 PM) “kids these days are so fucked up” says katara, while threatening to commit arson
(1:27 PM) or like accessory to arson or whatever
(1:28 PM) anyway, bold fucking talk from the shrek’s armpit girl
(1:29 PM) don’t throw stones when you have a glass house, knife boy
(1:30 PM) enjoying that one, aren’t you
(1:31 PM) that sounds like the world’s worst low-budget ripoff of sharkboy and lavagirl
(1:32 PM) “knife boy and shrek’s armpit girl”
(1:33 PM) LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
(1:34 PM) I don’t even want to THINK about shrek’s armpit girl’s powers
(1:35 PM) they’re probably like, super interesting. Like, they have layers to them. heh
(1:36 PM) for fuck’s sake, zuko!
(1:37 PM) >:(
(1:38 PM) ughhhhhh I don’t want to get my sweet little sister a fucking POOP KEYCHAIN
(1:38 PM) or worse, the Bad Vibes Diapered Unicorn
(1:39 PM) gonna go to the mall and try my luck there
(1:40 PM) you’ll think of something, I’m sure
(1:41 PM) for what it’s worth, you obviously care about her, at least enough to be agonizing this much about what you’ll get her
(1:41 PM) a lot of people would just grab the first vaguely pink box they’d see on the shelf and call it a day
(1:43 PM) thanks?
(1:44 PM) that made me feel oddly confident
(1:44 PM) you’d be a good motivational speaker
(1:45 PM) aw, you
(1:46 PM) try to think constructively. Think of something that would benefit her long-term
(1:47 PM) but not, like, boring
(1:48 PM) thanks for the tip
(1:49 PM) I’ve got some half-baked ideas in the works
(1:50 PM) I’ll let you know what I decide on
(1:51 PM) I’d love to hear it.
(1:52 PM) wow. we’ve been talking for like…3 hours
(1:53 PM) !!
(1:54 PM) sorry if I kept you from something with my weird toy explorations
(1:55 PM) no, I enjoyed it!! I really like talking to you, knife boy :D
(1:56 PM) time seems to really fly by when we talk
(1:57 PM) yeah, it does, huh
(1:58 PM) I like talking to you too
(1:59 PM) I gotta go to the mall, though, so uh. Talk later?
(2:00 PM) alright, cool. i’ve got stuff to do too.
(2:01 PM) kiss a poopsie for me.
(2:02 PM) sure thing, CACAtara.
(2:03 PM) dude, fuck you
(2:04 PM) HEH