“I really don’t care if you end up dying,” is what Chuuya says the moment a pale, sickly-looking Ango opens the door after three rounds of knocking, “but if you die without returning the hat you’ve confiscated, I will revive you just so I can kill you again.”
Ango’s glasses are skewed weirdly on his face, as though he fell asleep while squishing them on his face. He blinks blearily at his sudden ‘visitor’. He’s been out for two days now. It doesn’t look like he’s been getting any sunshine, because right now, he suddenly turns red like a boiled lobster, the moment he answers the door.
“…Chuuya-kun.” A light cough. “Not that I don’t appreciate seeing you, but what are you doing here?”
“I’m here to bring you your homework,” Chuuya says adding, and check if you’ve put my hat somewhere here! in his mind. “And absolutely nothing else! Not for any other reasons or anything!”
“You’re not here for any ulterior motives towards me?” Is that disappointment in the other’s tone? This person is really weird.
The phrase ‘ulterior motives’ is too-close an accusation to his plans of raiding the place for his confiscated hat. He flushes and denies it wholeheartedly, raising his hand that’s holding a plastic zip bag that he’s gotten from the other stressed-looking glasses guy in Ango’s class. The one who looks like he’d benefit from some antacid pills to go along with his stomach ulcer from dealing with Dazai.
“I, I really am just here for homework, damn it! I have no other secret plans!!”
“…I understand.” Now he sounds indulgent and fond, like he’s been bitten by a cat but still wants to pet it anyway. Not that Chuuya has any experience about getting bitten by cats that he still wants to pet or anything, okay, it’s just a comparison!
After a few seconds, Ango adds, “Do you want to come in?”
He tries to curtail his eagerness, but he still ends up with a, “Yes! Move already, you’re blocking the door.”
“Are you worried that I’ll get tired from standing for too long?”
No, he’s more worried that if he doesn’t end up getting inside the house anytime soon, he wouldn’t have enough time to search. “I told you already! I really don’t care if you end up keeling over or anything!”
“…I think I might keel over soon.” Something that sounds like ‘from cuteness’ is tacked on, but it’s muttered so quickly that it’s possible he just misheard it.
“What? Why!” He frowns at this. “Have you been eating at all?! You’re already like a twig just like that shitty mackerel!”
Prof Glasses can’t actually die, damn it! Not until Chuuya gets back his hat!
“Get back inside,” Chuuya tells him seriously. “Do you even have food there?”
Ango takes a long moment to say, “…No. I do not.” He looks very pinched, and the redness spreads down to his neck.
“Goddamnit, fine.” He makes some shooing motions for Ango to get back inside already. “Stay inside, I’ll go and get you food.”
He doesn’t wait for the other to agree or protest or whatever. But just in case the other gets the wrong idea, “It’s only because it’d be so pathetic if your house doesn’t have any food at all, okay? No other reason! Now wait for me, I shouldn’t take too long!”
He flees quickly, so he doesn’t hear Ango’s “he really is too adorable” nor does he witness Ango stealthily hiding his already-finished homework (his teachers have already emailed them to him earlier that day) and hiding the leftover curry that OdaSaku made for him before.
The next day, after a dinner visit from Dazai, Ango is miraculously ‘cured’ of all his ailments. And it’s now Dazai who’s apparently sick. ‘Apparently’, because he’s still energetic enough to flood Chuuya’s phone with a flurry of messages, various iterations of blackmailing him to nurse him back to health.
…Chuuya’s too depressed after failing to rescue his hat the day before, so he ignores all of Dazai’s messages.
He also ignores Ango’s messages, telling him that because he paid for their ‘time together’ yesterday, it’s only right that he pays him back at least ten times, so he’d like to invite Chuuya back so he can cook for him.
What kind of logic is that? Without his hat there, there’s no reason for him to return, urgh. As expected, this school is really, really weird.