AITA for telling my ex to leave when i saw him at a party?
posted by /u/throwawaygermaphobe • 3h
i know the title makes me sound horrible but please hear me out, okay?
okay so me [22M] and my ex [22M] (let’s call him K) broke up a little over a year ago after dating for about 8 months, give or take. we’re really different as people; i’m more on the loud side and K would mostly keeps to himself. we argued quite a few times too but nothing that wouldn’t be considered a normal amount for two dudes in their early 20s. i wouldn’t say we broke up on bad terms either but let’s just say we stopped talking after that and avoided each other any time we could (we have mutual friends).
K is a huge germaphobe. he wears a mask any time he’s out and he’s hardly seen without one in public. when we were dating, he told me that he hated crowded places and that direct physical contact was mostly a no-no. he usually avoids group outings with our friends too because he hates drinking and hates close contact and we never really said anything to him because that’s just how he is and it’s not something he can just stop doing. once he even said that “the smell of humans” makes him nauseous. he vomited after he said that.
so obviously, a college party would definitely NOT be his scene, right?
i saw him at the semester’s opening party last night and it honestly felt like watching a dog walk on its hind legs. idk why i did it but i went up to him and asked him what he was doing there and that he should probably leave (mostly out of concern) but i guess it came out wrong because suddenly he got really mad at me and because HE got mad at me, i got mad at HIM. and it was weird because he knows what i’m like so i didn’t really expect him to just blow up. it was embarrassing to say the least. things got heated and then he told me that i should never have approached him, which? pissed me off? irrational? probably.
maybe i didn’t explain myself well enough to him or in this post but i don’t think i deserved to get blown up at after genuinely asking him if he was okay? idk. am i acting like a crazy ex? i never really pegged myself as the type to be one but after the way he got mad at me maybe i am…
was it my fault that we’re somehow on worse terms than when we were yesterday morning?
LittleGiant 12 points • 2h
NTA. K is kind of acting like TA if he suddenly blew up at you. in public at that. i mean? if you guys dated for that long, it can’t be like he doesn’t know your speech patterns or antics already. but you guys shouldn’t have yelled at each other like that :/
MeowMeow 5 points • 2h
I think you’re siding with OP too quickly. He did say that they BOTH yelled at each other
notflightlessanymore420 52 points • 1h
INFO. I think vital information isn’t being communicated here. If you didn’t end on bad terms, why did you guys just stop contacting each other altogether? It seems a little sus ijs…
RoosterHead 8 points • 51m
oh look we got someone who has never been in a relationship before here
USHIWAKA 70 points • 47m
NAH. I think this is a classic case of misunderstanding. You guys should talk it out! Good luck OP <3
milkyoghurt 20 points • 32m
YTA. Why does your ex need to explain anything to you when you guys essentially mean nothing to each other now?
LittleGiant 10 points • 29m
he was concerned for his ex? that’s why he asked?
milkyoghurt 6 points • 24m
Literally he could have just ignored his ex? Also how was his ex supposed to know that? It “came out wrong” according to OP so clearly he wasn’t nice about it either
LittleGiant 7 points • 19m
THAT DOESN’T MEAN OP IS TA????
AceOfBirds 74 points • 5m
NAH but I think this should be on /r/relationship_advice instead lol
Atsumu stares at the responses he’s gotten so far on the reddit post. Maybe he did go a little too far, milkyoghurt is starting to get to him but then again, that user also seems like an asshole themself. He thinks back to last night, was he really an asshole when he told Sakusa that he should probably leave?
Even amongst a crowd of people Atsumu could spot him as soon as he stepped through the front door. There he was, stood in the corner, hands balled into fists as bodies surrounded him in too close of a distance, in a room that was far too dimly lit and smelled too much like alcohol and tobacco. It made Atsumu pity him, even for a second. Sakusa looked out of place; a square peg in a round hole, gourmet food being served at a McDonald’s, an Oscar worthy performance in a Jennifer Aniston movie. The man was wearing a white mask over his face but even though reading expressions were rendered useless, Atsumu could tell immediately that he did not want to be there at all. Sakusa seemed to pale even further from his already light skin as time flew by and honestly, Atsumu tried his best to ignore it.
Atsumu talked with his friends (who aren’t mutual) and maybe drank a little beer and even after about half an hour passed, Sakusa was still standing in the corner of the room with his head bowed down, looking more distressed than he was before.
Why the fuck is he here? Atsumu wondered. It wasn’t like any of their mutual friends were there either because he knew that Hinata had a date with Kageyama and Bokuto, for some unholy reason, had work. Who even invited him? And why did he come if he’s going to look like a stick is up his ass anyway?
The people around him started to laugh which was probably the cue for Atsumu to laugh too so he did. But like the typical Atsumu he is, his eyes somehow wandered back to the man in the corner of the room. The man was approached by a group of girls and Atsumu could see that he was shaking his head in polite rejection. Atsumu could also see that Sakusa’s complexion had turned nothing short of bitter gourd green.
He just couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Omi-kun, what are ya doin’ here?” Atsumu asked. “Shouldn’ ya go home?”
Sakusa lifted his head and even though he couldn’t see it, Atsumu could tell that the man was frowning. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” It was angry, far more angry than what Atsumu was expecting. Everything about Sakusa that night seemed out of place.
Atsumu raised an eyebrow. “What? This isn’t really yer thing now, is it? Ya look like yer gonna throw up. Take my help while I’m offerin’. Even if ya beg me fer help later, I wouldn’ bother -”
“Then just leave me alone!” This was the most they had spoken to each other in months. Atsumu had almost forgotten what his voice sounded like. It felt foreign hearing it so loudly, ringing in his ears, huffs of breaths and annoyed groans. It pissed him off that this was how it was going to be.
“Can ya not talk to me like that?” he said through gritted teeth. “Can ya not talk to me like we have nothin’ to do with each other?”
“Isn’t that true though?” Sakusa glared at him. “Miya, we broke up a year ago. We’re strangers now. Don’t act too familiar.”
Astumu frowned. “Fuck you, Sakusa Kiyoomi.”
Edit: K told me that i shouldn’t worry about him because we’re strangers now and tbh that was what ticked me off the most. we were friends for a year before we started going out and he’s willing to throw that all away?
AceOfBirds 24 points • 2m
OP, I’m begging you, please post this on /r/relationship_advice instead
AceOfBirds’ suggestion does seem like a good one but, that implies that Atsumu wants relationship advice. No. He just wants to know if he’s the asshole.
(Because Sakusa is the asshole)
He finally looks up from his phone and sets it aside face down. Students are starting to enter the hall for their seminar class, and uncharacteristically, Atsumu came in early. And it’s definitely not because he couldn’t sleep after their encounter last night. His head is still throbbing though, not exactly due to a hangover; he didn’t drink enough to get absolutely shit-faced plastered last night and now he kind of wishes that he did. If he did get hammered, maybe he wouldn’t remember everything that happened last night in disgusting detail.
The way Sakusa’s curly hair fell over his eyes in waves, the way the two moles right above his right brow seemed to be just as much of a constellation as it was the last time they ever saw each other, the way Sakusa’s gaze pierced through him, eyes dark like a black hole, sucking Atsumu’s entire being into a realm where neither light nor time made any sense.
Suddenly, it felt like the last two-ish years never happened. It was like they never fell apart or drifted apart. It was like when they just started going out; in that awkward little stage between friendship and something more. All foreign and new.
It was like despite everything, they were still the same.
And for a horrific moment, Atsumu missed it. He missed them.
He can’t afford to think about it now though, because the professor is entering their class, five minutes after he was supposed to start it but whatever, it’s the first day and they’re going to be out the door in fifteen minutes anyway.
But just as he’s about to look away, he ends up staring at the man who knocks on the door frame and bowing his head, apologising for being late. A mop of dark curly hair, a white mask covering his mouth and nose, two moles above his right eyebrow, dark eyes that Atsumu finds himself being lost in.
“I’m sorry, professor,” the man says before he quietly walks to the back of the class, past Atsumu’s seat, in the far corner of the room.
Edit: by freak chance, me and K are in the same seminar for this semester. that’s 14 weeks of being in the same vicinity as K. how do i not murder him on sight?
“This has to be a prank. Are ya prankin’ me ’Samu?” Atsumu says into his phone. None of this can be real. Osamu must have gotten his friends and professors to be in on some horrible joke because how else can these things keep happening. It makes no sense.
“Have ya ever considered that it could be a coincidence?” his brother replies.
“Are ya insane?” Atsumu retorts. “How can any of this be a coincidence?”
He hears Osamu sigh on the other end. “’Tsumu, ya go to the same university. One of these days, yer bound to bump into each other.”
“I haven’ ‘bumped into him’ in months,” Atsumu air-quotes, belatedly realising that his brother can’t see him. He shakes his head. “In any case, I have lived in peace since we broke up. And now he-” he takes in a deep breath, “he just shows up and ruins everything!”
“Oi. Can ya stop bein’ so dramatic?” Even without his brother in front of him, Atsumu can tell that he’s pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “It’s not like ya have to interact. Yer just in the same seminar, yer not partners in a group. Can ya calm down?”
Well, his brother is right. Just because they’re in the same seminar, it doesn’t mean that they have to communicate. He can still live his life being completely Sakusa-Kiyoomi-free, just like he has for the past year.
He remembers how Sakusa looked at him the night they broke up, naked body wrapped in a blanket, sat hunched on the bed as he stared at Atsumu from across the room. His face was just as unreadable as the day Atsumu asked him out.
“Miya, I think we should stop seeing each other.”
Atsumu sighs. Everything will go back to normal like it’s supposed to.
But still, he feels the back of his head being gnawed on and it sends a wave of discomfort through his body. He should do something about this shouldn’t he?
Maybe all he needs to do is learn how to be civil? Miya Atsumu always puts his foot down and faces his troubles head on. That’s how he’s always been.
He goes through his contacts list, clicks on a name and types out a message. Something simple like hi, remember me? maybe we shouldn’t fight about stupid things anymore but when he sees the last exchange they had, all that courage and confidence he had only seconds ago instantly depletes and instead, worries pour into his stomach like liquid metal, weighing his entire body down in hot anxiety. Now, there’s nothing else he can do but delete it and throw his phone on the bed.
23 August 2016
what is it
You forgot some things at my place.
Can you grab them? Either that or I throw them out.
i’ll be there in 20
Sat, September 16, 8:03pm (2 hours ago)
Subject: DETAILS FOR SEMINAR II (Semester 2, 17/18)
Prof. Takagi Kei <email@example.com>
Good evening all,
Please find attached the list of your partners that you will be pairing up with for the rest of the semester for all your group assignments. Students who could not inform me who the person they chose as their partner in time will find that I have assigned to you the partner myself.
Any questions, you can contact me through email or text me on Line.
Dr. Takagi Kei
Department of Anthropology
Faculty of Human Sciences
Atsumu clicks on the attachment and almost passes out when he sees the name next to his.
What are the odds? He’s convinced that the universe just hates him and this is divine punishment for being a bastard. Maybe he is the asshole. Maybe he wants to fling himself out the window now.
Edit: me and K ended up being partners in our seminar. how do i act civil when i want to kill him for what he said to me?
AceOfBirds 93 points • 6m
OP, you’re NTA (and neither is your ex) but you have to post this on /r/relationship_advice…