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My Fair Gentleman

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You were walking down the streets about an hour after dark. It wasn’t a strange occurrence, considering you needed to stay out as late as possible to sell as many flowers as you could. You’d been essentially on your own for years now-your mother had died awhile back, and while you had come to terms with it, your father was a drunkard. So it was up to you to make enough money to live. This you did by selling flowers on the street at all hours of the day. You’d had to drop out of school, and while that saddened you (you were a marvelous student), it was bearable.

But as you passed the theater for all the rich (rude, you thought) people in your city, someone ran into you. Two someones, you corrected from your position sprawled on the cobblestone. They were glaring down at you-identical to their core.

Until they spoke. They alternated their speech to match, but one had a much more hoarse voice than the other.

“Hey, you need to-”

“-watch where you’re going!”

“Yeah that was rather-”

“-rude of you don’t you think?”

You glared right back, “Seeing as I’m the one that fell and you two bastards are just standing there gawking, I’d say it was ‘rather rude of you ’,” you looked around only to find your flowers smashed against the stone and soaking up dirty rainwater from the temporarily-abated storm, “Oh fucking hell, you’ve done it now!”

They just stood there, laughing, as you screeched at them. Until you felt a presence behind you, “That is somewhat uncouth language for a young lady such as yourself… What is a commoner doing here?”

You jumped up, preparing to beat the shit out of all three of them, no matter how important they might be, when a fourth voice joined in, “My lady! Have these gentlemen upset you? For I am sure they are truly sorry!”

A blond spun out of nowhere and took your hand, “Why, aren’t you lovely?” He spun you around, and you were too shocked to push him away, or do anything for that matter. The boy who had insulted you before snorted, “Tamaki, as much as you might appreciate commoner culture, don’t go associating with them too much, unless you want your father to stop funding us, that is?”

Tamaki shrugged and made sure you were stable before backing up a step, “Still, we can’t just leave a damsel in distress. So tell me, fair maiden, what troubles you?”

You rolled your eyes before pointing at the twins, “Those two ran into me and now my flowers are ruined.”

“Geez, they’re just-”

“-flowers, it’s not that-”

“-important, or is this-”

“-some girl thing?”

Clenching your fist, you were about to reply, when Tamaki answered instead, “Hikaru, Kaoru! You should apologize to the princess! My dear, I will personally replace your flowers tenfold. A beautiful girl like yourself should have all the flowers she wants-”

“Actually,” you interrupted, but you didn’t get far.

“In fact, where are you headed? We can accompany you and make sure you don’t have any trouble. It’s late for a lady to be roaming the streets by herself!”

You shrugged, “I dunno. I usually just go back to the commons and hope there’s still a bed open.”

Tamaki froze and looked at you. The others did too, and for the first time it was with something more than minor annoyance.

“You… you mean-”

“-you don’t even-”

“-have a house?”

The black haired boy with glasses smacked the nearer of the twins upside the head, “People who live near here don’t have houses. Ever. They have apartments. But you don’t?”

You were starting to get fed up with their attitude, “I don’t see how it’s any of your problems?”

“Did you know-”

“-you’re really feisty.”

“You’d make a-”

“-hilarious noble, although-”

“-you’d never pass as a lady-”

“-maybe a lord, though?”

Surprisingly enough, you didn’t find that insulting. Instead you found it amusing. Their shocked faces when you started laughing only made the whole thing funnier, and soon you were collapsed on the ground again.

What you failed to notice was that the twins were exchanging a look. They went up to the dark-haired one and whispered something in his ear. He looked like he wanted to object, but the blond had overheard, and suddenly, “Brilliant! You should come stay with us! We could teach you to be a nobleman, wouldn’t that be great?!”


“Please, my lady! It would mean a lot to us, and you wouldn’t have to worry about food or housing or anything. And there’s a commoner living with us, too! Please?”

“Well, I-I-”

“That’s good enough for us,” the twin with the less-hoarse voice said, and before you knew it, they had you by the arms. You had no choice but to be dragged by four aristocratic teenagers into the nearest carriage.

Oh god, someone help you.