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Lets Start Again

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Connor didn’t really know what to expect when he woke up for the second time that day, but he did know that everything was going to be okay, or was going to get that way. This time the silence didn’t answer him, no the sound of Oliver in his kitchen cooking and the smell of food answered him. He knew right then and there that he wanted this to say. He wanted this so bad.
A small part of him realized that in the time that he and Oliver had been apart and really even when he was with Oliver he hadn’t slept this good. Or better yet felt so conferrable in his own skin. Connor wanted to keep it that way, he would do anything if Oliver would stay with him. If Oliver would make him feel so alive, so loved.
Oliver smiled at him softly, and wondered how much of last night Connor would remember.
“Oliver… about last night…?”
Connor slid onto the bar stool, he needed to get this off his chest, and well it seemed like a good time, now that he wan’t intoxicated he has a clear head and they need to talk even more…
“What about Last night, Connor?”
“Will it happen again?”
Oliver raised an eye brow, and before he could answer Connor entrusts him, “I mean, you staying here… with me… talking about stuff, listening to my problems… me listening to you…? Will that happen again?”
Oliver’s lips turn up into a soft smile as he answers, “If that is what you want, then yes it will happen again. But there are some things we are going to go over before it does.”
Food was placed in front of Connor and he nods his head and thanks Oliver for the food, he is very hungry… not having dinner in all last night.
“Fist off, we are dating. I don’t care if you call me your boyfriend or lover. But we are together and I will show you off if I want to.”
Connor nods his head, he can agree to that. He would agree to anything if it meant that Oliver would stay with him.
“We are going to go out for dates, restaurants and movies and all that romantic crap. I like being treated a like a goddess. So if you want to keep me, you better treat me like one. And lastly, we are not going to have sex all the time.”
Connor had to bite his tongue in order to not say anything. He knew there was more coming.
“You are a sex addict and I want you to prove that you want this. So no sex, until I feel that you are worthy.”
Connor nods his head at Oliver but deep down he isn’t sure if he will be able to do all of this. How is he going to prove that he is worthy of Oliver, but he was going to try, he had to try. He needed, not just wanted Oliver to be with him.
Oliver could tell that Connor was worrying about something but he wasn’t all that sure what. He tried to make him think of other things but Connor stayed in a semi depressed state for the rest of the morning. When Oliver had to leave so that he could get to work Connors mood get worse.
And worse as the day moved on and Connor found himself at work. There were so many questions about what had happened between him and Oliver. If he was going to be okay. What was going on, did he make it home okay. Wes knew that Connor had made it home and he also knew that Oliver had come over. He had seen him, but he said nothing to the others.
Around Lunch time Wes approached Connor.
“Connor, how was your talk with Oliver?”
Connor looked up at Wes, “I am pretty sure that is none of your business.”
Wes nodded his head, “I saw him come to your apartment. I know he was there. I left after he arrived. Please Connor, you look miserable talk to me. Maybe I can help?”
Connor sighed, “We did talk… and we are together now… I think.”
Wes smiled, “That is a good things isn’t it. Why aren’t you happy?”
“I am scared Wes… I am scared of everything… and of the rules that he has placed forth.”
Wes’s smile wavered a little, “What rules scare you Connor, and did you tell Oliver this.”
Connor winced, “I can’t tell him… I can’t upset him… what if he doesn’t want me anymore?”
Wes nodded his head, he understood now that Connor was very insecure of himself and he didn’t want to ruin what he had just achieved. So Wes patted Connor on his shoulder and went on with his lunch.
The rest of the day went on with short snappy answers from Connor, and everyone seemed to be looking at Wes to fix it, Wes on the other hand knew that there wasn’t much that he could do. Oliver and Connor would have to work it out for themselves and Wes hoped that they would soon, because he didn’t know if everyone else could live with Connor like this for much longer.
As the day began to come to an end, Connor didn’t know quite what to do. Should he go see Oliver, if so should he bring something with him, like candy or flowers? Was he supposed to get them a dinner date? He realized that he didn’t know what it meant to be a boyfriend or a lover. In the end he decided that he would go home, that would be better than going to Oliver’s and not coming prepared. After all Oliver didn’t say that he could come over. He hadn’t even texted him at all.
As he was about to leave though Connor got another idea.
“Wes, I need to speak to you immediately.”
Wes nodded his head and followed Connor out.
“I don’t know what to do… and I was wondering…” Connor bit his lip, “I am sorry for the way I have treated you in the past… but I don’t know what to do… and you are the only person that knows what is going on… and I am trusting you… and… Wes… what do I do?”
Wes blinked taken back by Connors sudden confession and apology and why shouldn’t he be. Connor is not known for apologizing. No, he is known for getting what he wants and leaving others in the dust.
“What do you need help with Connor,” Wes asked kindly.
“Do I go over to his place or do I go back to mine, was I supposed to take him out tonight… am I supposed to bring flowers and candy so that he feels like a goddess?”
Wes nods his head, “You don’t have to go over. But if you do I would text him and tell him you are coming over. And yeah if you do, bring some flowers, or Chocolate, not candy.”
Connor nodded his head and pulled out a little notepad and began writing down everything that Wes had just said.
“About the date thing, try for the weekend, that way you are both off and you know that you can make it, also, gives you more time to have sex after. Since I know you are going to probably add that to it.”
Connor paled at the mention of sex and stopped writing… Wes noticed this and frowned a little, “Connor are you okay?”
Connor numbly nodes his head, “Sex isn’t really an option right now.”
Wes takes a step back and something seems to come into clear view, “Does Oliver know what this means to you?”
“What, what means to me?”
Wes nods sadly, “I’ll take that as a no… and even you don’t really know do you…”