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Ultraman Melos: Flat Earther

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Ultraman Melos took a bite out of the stale donut in his hands, crumbs falling off onto his lap as he sat on his chair in the least professional way possible. He set his food item down on his tablet, much to Zoffy’s scorn. “I think Earth is flat.”

“Melos, this is a meeting… “ Zoffy rubbed his forehead with a twinge of annoyance. “This is a meeting about why Earth keeps having Bogal attack it.” Zoffy took back his tablet, grumbling about ‘how did you get in here’ and ‘when did you steal my tablet again’.

“They’re attacking because it’s flat.” Melos declared confidently. He took another bite of his donut, only half finishing chewing before continuing. “Don’t need to worry about sliding off the side if you’re on a flat plane.” Donut crumbs spewed onto Zoffy’s face.

The Ultra Brother wiped his face off, trying to maintain his composure in front of the other members of the space garrison. It was mostly younger members who were being caught up to speed on the current status of Earth and the rookie who was currently stationed there.

“You’ve been to Earth before, Melos.” Zoffy grumbled, pulling the ultra to the side and informing the others he would be a moment. “Did you not see… it was round when you flew there yourself?”

“It was flat like a coin.” Melos grinned, finishing off his donut.

“We flew around it together, you fool-”

“A coin rotating so fast it looks round”

Zoffy facepalmed.

“Melos listen. If you’re so sure Earth is flat, why don’t you go there yourself and ask them?” the Ultra Brother was quickly reaching the end of his wit. How exactly had he broken into this meeting anyway? Did he just have a tracking beacon on him specifically to come and annoy?

“Oh! Good idea, Zoff!” Melos grinned. “I can prove I’m right to you, and you guys can get to work on bending Earth into a sphere so the bogal’ll stop attacking lil Mebius.” He was halfway out the door when he stopped. “Who should I ask?”

“I don’t know, ask around?” Zoffy gave a fake smile, hoping he could get back to his job. “Maybe get a few people’s opinions.” He added on, hoping that would keep him busy longer.

“How many people?”

“At least 50.” Zoffy deadpanned. Melos nodded as he flew out the window with a determined smile. The Ultra Brother rubbed his forehead, hoping to mitigate the growing headache. “Use the door next time, please.”