"Ok—you know what?!—" Hyungwon barks, as he barges into the computer room. Changkyun bolts alive to turn off his video, but he's sure Hyungwon already saw. "This is enough!" The door slams shut as Hyungwon lunges for Changkyun's desk chair to turn him around.
Changkyun is winded, he barely got his feet off the desk. "Jesus!" he yells in return, "GET OUT!"
"No," Hyungwon growls at him. "I'm tired of you thinking that when the sun goes down you can do whatever you want, like we live in a fucking nudist colony or something!" Because the youngest with his feet up on the desk, naked as the day he was born, playing computer games all night is far too common in their dorm. Usually it's just games, with the controller in both hands between his raised knees like he's a kid in a racecar. But tonight...
"Hyungwon! Get the fuck out—" Changkyun's face is scarlet, heart racing, and he can't even hide because his hands are busy covering his dick. He's stark naked, which isn't normally a problem, but right now he's hard; his hands are sticky with lube and he's shivering in his shame from how close Hyungwon is suddenly. From how terrifying it is that Hyungwon had nearly caught him with fingers up his own ass.
"I could hear the porn from all the way down the hallway!"
"I can hear you if I lived on the moon right now. Shut the fuck up and go!" Because if Hyungwon knows what he's been doing, why isn't he leaving??
Hyungwon just continues his tirade. "Literally, down the hallway. Right as I got home, this is what I have to hear—" Hyungwon tries grabbing his arm—to shake him or throw him out, or something—his rage amplified by the whiff he caught of Changkyun's sugary scented lube—but his gaze falls to the shiny wet patch on the leather seat beneath Changkyun's butt. He backs off instantly in disgust, letting Changkyun sit back as he retreats to pace the center of the room. "You are so fucking gross," he scoffs.
"There is no way you could hear me, all the way from the front door..." the younger rebuts, but his voice drops to nearly a whisper during his reply. His hands are trembling, and his dick had definitely twitched from hearing that. From being touched. God... he's such a freak. Had he been that loud? Hopefully it was just the video. Fuck.
Hyungwon freezes him with a glare he almost never gives; the youngest should know better than to talk back to elders. While Changkyun is petrified at how his dick is responding to this. He's still as hard as before when he was jacking off. But now his asshole feels too empty and with his breathing still elevated, it seems that being found out is apparently a slight turn-on? He's trying to calm down but his airway feels tight.
It's so rare to see Hyungwon so heated; he's practically panting Changkyun realizes, and this finally makes him self-aware enough to get himself under control. A quiet falls over the room where Changkyun's focus shifts from his own lust to why Hyungwon is upset.
"Um, did something happen?" Changkyun tries asking. Now that Hyungwon is just frowning at the wall, hands on his hips, unsure where to direct his emotions. "You're angry, right?"
"Yeah, because our youngest is a perv—"
"Not about me," Changkyun interrupts. And scoots his chair towards where his t-shirt is, to at least grab it and shove it over his lap. As his tries to discreetly wipe his hands off too. "Something else." Thankfully Hyungwon isn't watching him right now.
There's more silence, before Hyungwon finally hangs his head and sighs.
"My girlfriend dumped me."
"Another one?" Changkyun replies. Too quick and inappropriate, so Hyungwon whips another glare at him.
"How do you know about my girlfriends?"
It's Changkyun's turn to scoff. "We all know. You're pretty so they fall for you, but you make no effort and in the end they all dump you. It's only been years now."
"We're busy with comebacks 3 times a year and they have their own shit. That doesn't mean no effort."
"Right." Changkyun eyerolls. "When's the last time you sent a girl flowers, hmm?"
"That's cheesy. No one actually does that." Hyungwon brushes him off. But Changkyun still looks too damn smug and it makes Hyungwon want to smack him. A verbal smack will have to do: "So why are you single then, if you're so smart?"
It indeed takes Changkyun aback. "Um," he hesitates to explain. "Because I treat them well and then, um... scare them off in bed. If we're gonna be so candid about this."
Hyungwon howls out a laugh. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I think that's the extent of what I'm willing to say."
"You mean you suck in bed."
The grip Changkyun has on the ball of t-shirt in his lap gets tighter. "You can think that if you want," he grits out, not quite patiently. That's definitely not why.
Hyungwon's mood seems to have perked up, since he's joking again. "Can't make statements you're not willing to show proof for," he prods.
And maybe it's because Changkyun is on a short fuse after being so close to coming, or because he doesn't want to be laughed at for his weakness, that he snaps—and retorts that, "You want proof? Fine." Hyungwon's eyebrows peak, curious to see him break. "As of right now, we're dating!" Changkyun declares boldly.
Hyungwon studies him for a moment, noting the way Changkyun's breaths are fast and the fire in his eyes. Then bursts out laughing.
This is all bullshit. Changkyun will forget by the morning. But getting a good laugh in before bed is just what he needed to end his horrible day. He slaps Changkyun on the shoulder a few times, smiling at him fondly while Changkyun looks furious, and finally makes his leave goodnight.
The next day, Hyungwon would love to say that he got up early and had breakfast with the other members, so he could say his peace to Changkyun sooner; but the truth is he felt like shit and Kihyun had banged pots together savagely to finally get Hyungwon out of bed. So with ringing in his ears and even more annoyed than when he first opened his eyes to remember that he'd been dumped, again—he nearly missed his hair appointment too.
Therefore it was past noon, after Hyungwon had downed enough coffee to clear his head somewhat, that he got a moment to nudge Changkyun's elbow in private.
"Listen. Thanks for cheering me up last night. And I'm sorry for yelling at you."
Changkyun eyes him up. For a moment Hyungwon wonders if he's going to reject his apology. His mood dips further at this prospect and his gaze falls to the Starbucks he no longer has an appetite for.
But Changkyun knows that he's sincere. And since the youngest is rather more empathetic than given credit for, after a good evil-eye to allay his own bitterness, Changkyun concedes, "No problem. I know it sucks getting dumped. But now that you have such a great boyfriend like me, I'm sure it'll never happen again."
Hyungwon is confused at first. Then remembers. Then—laughs uneasily as he quirks an eyebrow at Changkyun. There's no way he's serious...
"We-we're not dating, you fool."
But this type of mild insult only makes Changkyun's stubbornness worse. He smiles sweetly, as if this were the perfect revenge. "Why wouldn't I be serious? We both agreed and you wanted proof. So I'm about to teach you to never insult my dignity again."
That was a threat. Wow. Hyungwon can only stare back incredulously.
"That's right," Changkyun continues smugly. "My beautiful new boyfriend," he says with a gentle stroke to Hyungwon's cheek. "I'm going to teach you how to be a good boyfriend too."
Hyungwon nearly chokes.
First, there's too much of the word "boyfriend" for Hyungwon to stomach right now. Second, maybe he really does need boyfriend lessons because only an idiot gets dumped as often as he does—but let's not say that one out loud. Third, he actually doesn't want to upset Changkyun again. Since the youngest is obviously still upset over last night, and rightly so because Hyungwon had been awful to him. He shouldn't have embarrassed him like that and he doesn't want to make it worse...
His belly flips. If he doesn't say no right now, will that patch up their friendship? He doesn't want to mess up again.
Fourth—"beautiful"? His ears heat up too. Why does Changkyun have to say cheesy stuff like that... with those intense eyes too. He feels his heart flutter nervously.
In the end, due to an awkward mixture of curiosity and repentance, Hyungwon ends up saying, "So, uh. What should I do if—if we're dating?" He tries to keep his voice as level as possible. At first he feels ridiculous saying that and wants to either push Changkyun down a flight of stairs or crawl under a rock to disappear. But as he sees Changkyun's eyes widen, he genuinely wants to know what he's thinking. "Is this going to be like lessons?"
It seems Changkyun wasn't fully prepared for this possibility either. He clears his throat and plays nonchalant. "Like lessons if you like. But you don't need to act any differently. It's just like with any other partner."
It's unclear if Changkyun means don't act different than their normal friendship, or don't act different than a normal relationship. But Hyungwon doesn't think he can ask anything else right now. His insides feel knotted.
Thankfully, to extricate them from this hell, a manager calls to them.
Unfortunately, this steels Changkyun and he takes Hyungwon's hand. Mind made up, he kisses Hyungwon's knuckles sweetly and smiles. "Cheer up. I love you." Then his attention turns swiftly to their manager.
But... that felt so genuine that Hyungwon feels whiplash. He has no idea what their manager is even talking about.
After, he gets a cue-sheet shoved in his face and tries to focus on that. Instead of, I love you.
Truthfully, Changkyun is conflicted over this also. This happened so quickly. It started as revenge, then turned into charity. But the two are a little mixed up, and he also feels a pang in his chest from the thought of having a partner again. So maybe it's a selfish guilt too. He misses having a girlfriend. It feels good to lavish his partner. It felt nice telling Hyungwon, "Cheer up. I love you." He does want Hyungwon to cheer up. And he does love him, as a friend.
So he's conflicted. But also starting to get ideas for how to fulfill his part of the deal.
He says to himself that if it starts being weird, they can just call it quits. No harm, right?
Until then, Changkyun has a boyfriend.
His first... boy-friend.
He wants to puke a little. From the butterflies and from the disgust.
Not thinking about this seriously—because how can this be serious?—seems to be the best way to deal with this.
When he doesn't think about it very deeply, then dating Hyungwon doesn't seem that hard. Changkyun's instinct is to just do nice things for his friend. Like when Hyungwon orders dinner, Changkyun simply passes him his credit card. No words needed, it's understood, "let me pay instead."
Hyungwon bites a lip, apprehensive about continuing this charade as he takes Changkyun's card, but—he's not about to turn down free food because he's not an idiot. Then as he swipes Changkyun's card, he realizes that it's a really nice gesture. So he smiles honestly when he returns it. As thank you.
If small things make Hyungwon happy, then Changkyun doesn't mind doing it. The boy needs to get over being dumped, right?
A few hours later, Hyungwon nearly trips over his own shoelaces. And Changkyun immediately stoops to one knee to re-tie them for him. Yes, it's cheesy. Because cheesy is fun, and he wants Hyungwon to cheer up.
Hyungwon gulps awkwardly as half the other members stare at them. He pulls Changkyun up by the hand as quickly as possible. Too bad Changkyun kisses his knuckles again... Aish! This boy is so infuriating! So instead of letting the butterflies get to him, he whacks him upside the head lightly.
Changkyun is only getting started though. A small fire has lit inside him and he's getting a kick out of making Hyungwon act shy like that. Why not seduce him a little? He needs to learn some romance, and Changkyun—thank you very much—is really good at romance.
He's practically snickering over his phone as he types out his online order:
The next morning, at their daily hair appointment, Hyungwon is greeted with a dozen red roses. It's as cheesy as he can make it. With a note too.
Hyungwon's cheeks are flaming as he reads, For Hyungwon who is not only beautiful, but funny and caring. I hope to always see you smiling. I love you.
He refuses to meet Changkyun's eyes. The weight of the whole room staring at Hyungwon is making him uncomfortable. He explains to their manager that it's a joke, but he still wants to keep the flowers. So they send the bouquet back to the dorm.
Changkyun is right there, he can hear the exchange, meaning his revenge is accomplished! But maybe he won't embarrass Hyungwon publicly again. Their manager disliked being given extra work too—especially following a panic attack over "gifts from stalker fans" when the package arrived.
A few minutes later when they get some privacy, though he still can't face Changkyun properly, Hyungwon asks, "Where'd you learn how to say that kind of stuff?"
"The note?" Yes. "I write lyrics, don't I?"
Hyungwon has no idea how to digest this, but nonetheless, he decides to keep the note as a "template" of what he should do in the future. And just because it's in his wallet means nothing. It was a sweet gesture, after all.
Changkyun buys him shrimp for dinner. He doesn't even check on him or crowd into his space. He just wanders about their dorm, being normal as Hyungwon eats with Minhyuk in front of the TV.
Hyungwon thinks for the first time that having Changkyun as a boyfriend isn't that bad. Especially since he hasn't thought about this ex all day.
Their next day is so busy that Hyungwon, and probably Changkyun too, entirely forgets about the boyfriend thing.
It's only at nighttime when he's brushing his teeth before bed, that he sees Changkyun waiting behind him. Just resting on the doorframe, watching him, and it makes Hyungwon reluctantly remember their dating pact. He spits and rinses his mouth, and then in the mirror he sees Changkyun finally get closer. The younger comes up behind and wraps his arms around Hyungwon's waist to squeeze. His eyes are soft; his smile, charming and flirty, as he plays his thumbs along Hyungwon's hipbones.
"You're so pretty today, baby." Changkyun's voice is low and full of adoration. And Hyungwon is impressed by how realistic the act is. "Wanna run my hands over your body all night. How does that sound, hmm?"
A shiver runs down Hyungwon's spine to hear this and he flinches away; but Changkyun's gaze through the mirror remains.
There's no way Changkyun is waiting for an actual reply, right? How could he say that with a straight face? Ugh. Hyungwon doesn't understand this boy. He shouldn't laugh and he shouldn't push his hands off because of their deal; but he has no idea what to say, except to nervously chuckle, "Still doing the boyfriend thing?"
Changkyun looks pleased. "Have you got a new girlfriend I don't know about?"
"Then yes. Until you learn something."
He swats Hyungwon's bum, then walks away triumphantly. Leaving Hyungwon to feel like the room is spinning.
No matter how much Hyungwon wants, he can't get those words out of his brain until he falls asleep, later than intended. Head both empty and full of Changkyun.
The next day feels normal again, until nighttime when Hyungwon finds a single red rose on his pillow. With a note that says, Did you have a good day today? I'm sorry I can't be with you. Working late tonight.
It's Changkyun's handwriting. And because Hyungwon has had a day to forget about feeling uncomfortable last night, today his heart actually flutters because Changkyun hasn't forgotten. They're still dating. And Changkyun is still acting... sweet. There's no other word for it, no matter how awkward it feels. He gulps and gets into bed uneasily. Changkyun is taking this too far, he thinks. They should stop this silly game... But a few minutes later as the rose slips out of his hand, he falls into pleasant dreams.
Hyungwon wakes up in a weird, buzzed type of mood all week, because the first thing he sees each day is the bouquet of flowers in their bedroom. Hyunwoo has been eyeing the flowers strangely also, but in Hyungwon's defense, it would be worse to throw them out, right?
Two weeks later, the bouquet has been replaced with a radiant bunch of sunflowers. And finally Hyunwoo stops to ask. So Hyungwon has to explain, feeling ever so self-conscious, that, "Changkyun has been giving me flowers."
He receives the most perplexed look he's ever seen on Hyunwoo's face. "You're kidding..." Hyunwoo laughs. Because Changkyun is not that nice. And because it makes no sense. And Hyungwon can read these thoughts on the leader's face without either of them saying it.
He shrugs to say he's not entirely sure what's happening either.
But it's fine. It is what it is. Hyunwoo doesn't mind seeing flowers in their dorm. And Kihyun seems to be the one who tops up the water apparently.
More often than flowers, Hyungwon receives notes from Changkyun—quite a lot of them actually. They're just sweet words to remind Hyungwon that he has a sweet boyfriend. As if he's being forced to not forget. His reaction to them depends on his mood.
Sometimes the notes are handwritten and other times he gets a text. Texts like, Just thinking of you. Love you.
There was once Hyungwon even typed back, Thank you. I love you too. But he felt absolutely insane for replying and hasn't done it since. Some notes are worse, but no matter what, they all send a small shock to his body. Like a soft punch to the heart.
He bites his lip as he reads, [text message] When I see you from across the room like this, I still miss you. You're too far.
Or, [pillow note] I'll be in the studio all day. WH bought dinner, enjoy. I love you.
The worst is when Changkyun says things to his face. It's unexpectedly nice, and unnervingly seductive, when he comes to Hyungwon backstage, during the times when it's not a massive whirlwind of staff, and he massages Hyungwon's shoulders as he says pretty things into his ear. It makes him shiver at the same time as melt closer into Changkyun. There was once Hyungwon fell asleep to Changkyun's massage and dreamt that Changkyun was his girlfriend about to undress.
He's constantly restless from "dating" Changkyun, but also has somewhat gotten used to dating Changkyun. It feels so weird admitting that.
They never had any in-depth discussions about it. None of the other members have asked too many questions—they think it's a joke or loneliness or both. Miraculously they haven't been teased much about it (because their "dating" certainly could have been the brutal butt of never-ending jokes.) It all just somehow settled into a new normal. No matter how abnormal it was.
His head felt empty and his heart full. And he was learning to swallow down the discomfort of receiving all these romantic gestures from a friend.
Two months later, Hyungwon and Changkyun are still dating. Except these days they're on tour. Hyungwon can't help wondering why Changkyun keeps doing this. This dating—thing—should have ended so long ago, yet at every corner Hyungwon has no idea how to stop it.
Before they left Korea, Changkyun had bought him new, personalized, airpods. Because Hyungwon had lost his. The note said, Keep me with you. I always want to be where you are. And Hyungwon couldn't help tucking this one into his wallet again. It felt as if he was going on a business trip. As if they weren't going together. It just felt so real in that moment that he needed to say thank you, so he did. He gave Changkyun a forehead kiss, because he'd be lost without airpods and the little brat really saved the day. That's the reason he told himself. But honestly, Hyungwon's emotions over Changkyun have been yoyo-ing drastically these days.
Changkyun's touches feel electric. His massages and hands on his body feel welcome more times than not. His love-notes nearly make Hyungwon cry sometimes. He finds himself dreaming or daydreaming about Changkyun randomly before he slaps himself out of it. He finds himself petting Changkyun's hair more often then he would have before all this. Sometimes staring into his eyes for the sake of sharing a moment together. Or holding his hand. He thinks he likes dating Changkyun. He likes linking their fingers.
It's not healthy, is it?
They go on "dates", maybe three times? It's not much different from how they normally hang out. It's just that Changkyun called it—that.
Their first date is in some random city in North America where Changkyun tells him, "I checked our schedule, we have time for a late dinner. I'll pick you up at 9?" And Hyungwon agrees, but then completely forgets. So when Changkyun knocks on his door, Hyungwon grumbles that he doesn't feel like going out, that he's not hungry. It's typical behavior, until he notes how nicely Changkyun is dressed and that he makes a quick call to cancel an actual reservation. Yet Changkyun doesn't act upset in the slightest; he instead asks if Hyungwon is feeling well, and feels his forehead for temperature.
Hyungwon's eyes go wide and his entire body trembles before he pushes Changkyun's hand away—as quickly as if burned. Changkyun is doing that boyfriend thing again and Hyungwon can't stand it. He feels self-conscious and disgusted. His insides are getting slapped around by butterflies so big they could swallow his heart.
Through his shame, Hyungwon agrees to at least go see the hotel restaurant. Changkyun smiles warmly and says there's a great view. And because Hyungwon is sluggish, Changkyun even helps him pick out clothes, telling him he's beautiful in anything and everything so he shouldn't worry. But this only makes Hyungwon feel worse. He wonders what Changkyun even feels as he says these things so easily.
They order wine and Hyungwon ends up drinking too much. But he doesn't care. Anyway, Changkyun seems to be doing the same. Some kind of sorrow has come oven him too. They've been nearly silent tonight, and it's only alcohol that perks up the mood.
At one point, as Hyungwon stares vacantly at his partner across the table, he thinks that Changkyun is handsome. With that crisp button-up and classy hair; it's exactly what Hyungwon likes on a date. Then he shakes himself and drinks more. How much has he had to drink tonight to be thinking this way?
There are times he feels flattered and seduced, and other times he wants Changkyun to cut it out and stop acting like a perv. They're not dating—he feels sick if he thinks about it too deeply. But then they end up resting on each other, walking in wobbly paths back to Hyungwon's hotel room and suddenly it's all funny. Drunk Changkyun keeps calling him baby.
He pets Hyungwon's face as they stand outside his door giggling together, where Hyungwon fumbles with the key-card. "Baby has pretty cheeks," Changkyun drawls, and pulls at his waist. Hyungwon is sure his cheeks are red like a tomato. He averts his eyes and pushes Changkyun inside so they don't make a scene in the hallway.
But then inside is worse. When Hyungwon sits down on the bed, he's afraid Changkyun might do something—he's not sure what, but his heart is beating so fast. He imagines that they might kiss. He lets Changkyun crawl over him fully expecting his lips, but Changkyun pulls him into snuggles instead.
"Do you feel better, baby?" he coddles, and strokes through Hyungwon's hair where he lies on Changkyun's chest. "Did you have fun tonight?"
"Stop it. You're making me blush."
"I can't help it," Changkyun giggles before settling down. That brutal honesty of his has returned. "Sometimes I watch you and think I'm really lucky to have you. You're so beautiful that I get kind of lost, you know? And you let me take care of you. I hope it's ok. Even though you're quiet... I think you care too. Right?"
That question feels at once hopeful and melancholy. And Hyungwon definitely doesn't know how to reply. He can't reply. What is he supposed to say? "Ew, don't be gross? Are you even serious?" He doesn't understand what this is or why Changkyun keeps it going, but it feels heartbreaking if he were to tell him to stop. In the meantime, he feels bad for being compliant to how Changkyun treats him. He knows he shouldn't accept such romantic gestures—because it's weird and it always crawls down his spine uncomfortably—but other times he thinks he should return the favors somehow. If only for the sake of being equal. So that it's not just Changkyun being nice. Except, he can't make up his mind. Since he feels trapped in this situation, he mostly tries to not think about what they're doing, that way things can he peaceful.
Anyway, he's too drunk right now, and the wrong words would surely fall out of his mouth and ruin everything if he thinks about this any more.
It's nice to just dig his face into Changkyun's chest and fall asleep with him.
He wakes up big-spooning Changkyun, and the first thing he notices is that the younger is shirtless. Hyungwon has no idea when that happened. It's not a problem, per se. It's not even that they're glued together, because it's hardly the first time he's fallen asleep spooning another one of their members, but with Changkyun... He feels like he should be protesting this somehow.
A headache bursts behind his eyeballs the second he tries to open his eyes and he instantly gives up all protest in favor of crawling back to safety. Curling up behind Changkyun is helping to block out the light. So no matter if Changkyun is Changkyun, he doesn't want to move. He wants to wallow in misery. And involuntarily Hyungwon ends up holding on tighter, to the point that Changkyun coos at him and turns around to cradle him in his arms properly. And bloody sue him because it feels nice being held and cuddling closer to his friend.
If a normal Hyungwon is hard to awake, you can bet that a mopey Hyungwon is worse. But like an angel, Changkyun even provides him water and aspirin when Hyungwon finally decides to emerge from their cocoon of blankets.
See?! It's really hard to dump someone he likes dating!
Another date is at a night market with street food.
It starts off with their manager for a Vlive schedule; Hyungwon and Changkyun are just walking and behaving like tourists in a crowd that magically hasn't recognized them yet, and then they just continue after their manager leaves. Hyungwon is holding a fried potato-tornado for them to share, and it's probably a perfect night. Even though Changkyun isn't the most talkative and Hyungwon is even worse.
Changkyun takes Hyungwon's hand, to gently guide him along as they point at nearby amusements. It's so casual and pleasant that it takes Hyungwon several minutes to notice they're holding hands in public, and then a few more minutes before he feels brave enough to speak up.
"'Kyun. People are going to look at us funny," Hyungwon nods down to their linked fingers. But the second he's said it, he kind of regrets it, because Changkyun only has the perfect reply to stab him in the heart with.
"They'll see I'm holding the hand of someone beautiful," he says. "I want them to see." He's smiling proudly. But since Hyungwon looks awkward, he pulls them into a cafe for more privacy. "A night cap," he says, and they share a few drinks.
Changkyun had pulled out his chair for him, and Hyungwon blushed like crazy from it. As night fell and it got chillier on the way home, Changkyun gives him his jacket. At a 24/7 convenience store just up the block from their hotel, they stop to admire a dozen bouquets of flowers in buckets by the front door.
"Which would you buy for your girlfriend?" Changkyun asks him.
Hyungwon supposes he shouldn't be surprised by this question, but he almost feels bad for interrupting how dreamy their date has been. He sighs, "Wouldn't buy any of them, I told you."
"Ok, then which do you like best?"
With another sigh Hyungwon answers, and true to form Changkyun buys the flowers that Hyungwon likes. He smirks and says they're for himself and that Hyungwon should just hold them, but they're obviously for Hyungwon.
It's all so painfully nice that Hyungwon starts feeling bad again, wondering if he should be doing such romantic things for Changkyun in return. Everything with Changkyun feels like they're twirling among the stars.
By the door to Hyungwon's room, Changkyun takes his hand again and Hyungwon's heart is beating like crazy, anticipating. Looking into Changkyun's eyes, he can't help it that it all got to him. He feels utterly seduced tonight, to the point that he's anxious for whatever comes next. He actually wants Changkyun to stay the night. He wants to hug him for a few hours at least—but he can't say it aloud. Changkyun doesn't say much more either, just goodnight, and that he wants to take Hyungwon out again—Why is Hyungwon so weak right now? His throat is tight as he lets Changkyun pull him close, lets him kiss Hyungwon's cheek and squeeze his hand, and then they part.
But the moment was too short! God, why is it so hard to tell him to stay, just a little longer...
Hyungwon plonks down on his bed and feels lovesick. If Changkyun treats girls this way, then he really is a great boyfriend. And that's probably the part that hurts most, that all his goodwill is being wasted on Hyungwon. Changkyun should have someone who loves him back, really loves him. Because this game... it doesn't feel good anymore.
Of course Hyungwon loves him, but this is turning painful. Whatever Changkyun feels in return, feels too real. Changkyun is everything he could have ever hoped for in a partner—
Hell, he's a million times better than how Hyungwon behaves with girls. And frankly, with Changkyun too. Changkyun is open and attentive and patient, and Hyungwon can reluctantly admit that he does none of those things with girls. So is that the point of this exercise? For Hyungwon to realize he's a shitty boyfriend and deserves to be dumped?
Then Changkyun should dump him a little faster. So that this fairytale can end.
On their third date, Hyungwon cancels on him. He felt too self-conscious. Even so, when he gets to his hotel room that night, his bed is covered in rose petals. Goddamn—he wants to tear his hair out! Why is Changkyun doing all this?!
He can't stand being in this room even, so he storms out to go sleep with Hoseok.
It's fine, Changkyun thinks. Hyungwon is always like this. Changkyun even anticipated him cancelling.
Honestly, dating Hyungwon is really easy in his opinion. They know each other nearly inside and out so they just hang out like normal, and because they're groupmates who live together Changkyun even knows where Hyungwon is all the time, so preparing surprises for him is fun. No spiky personality traits to worry about, no fights, nothing that drove him away from other girls. It's basically just flowers and meals with Hyungwon, and the rest is as simple as breathing. What more could he want?
Of course, it's not really that simple. But Changkyun likes to delude himself that he's not falling for a friend. A male friend.
He remembers the young and foolish curiosity that led him to kiss a fellow trainee, many years ago. Before that friend had tumbled him into bed roughly and Changkyun ended up with dick up his ass for the first time. He decided he didn't like the boy—definitely didn't like boys—but... the act itself, left him feeling like nothing else before. So he tried asking his girlfriends and through the years discovered a few more kinks, and maybe they would finger him and kiss him softly, but anything more scared them off. The next morning was always the worst. He could see it in their eyes, how uncomfortable it was for them to look at him afterwards. They gave various reasons, but if it wasn't the kind of sex they were used to, that was always what broke them up.
With Hyungwon, he doesn't have to go through that. Because Hyungwon isn't a girl. Of course it goes beyond gender because he loves Hyungwon already, and the more this game goes on the more he's attracted to him—sure, but if he doesn't do anything about it, then he doesn't have to feel that rejection again. This is already one of Changkyun's longest relationships, and the longer it goes on, the happier it makes him.
He just—he likes flirting with Hyungwon. And making him smile. He likes it a lot. Too much. But Hyungwon turns him on! Which is a little scary, yes, but it's a dangerous little game that puts a skip in his step when he's done something wicked—and the reward is a thrill akin to lust when he can make Hyungwon act shy. He can feel it in his mouth and down his spine and how that feeling pools between his legs when Hyungwon makes that face—when they both know it's too much. That Changkyun is stepping over the lines of friendship.
—Oh god. He's fucking getting hard again from this. He wants to see Hyungwon in that bed of rose petals. He wants him to strip and get in the middle and he imagines that it might make him hot in return. Because when is lying in a pile of flowers not sexy? He wants to see Hyungwon's hand tremble as he reaches for the bed around him, and then slowly down his own body... And Changkyun can just watch him. Because he's so incredibly beautiful.
It's times like this that the distance is killing him.
He grabs for his phone and types without thinking: I miss you.
I miss you, the message says, and Hyungwon groans. Ugh. Just as he was trying to settle in and forget about Changkyun. He leaves it on read and puts the phone under his pillow as he looks over at Hoseok instead—past midnight and the guy still has headphones on, working on his laptop. Hyungwon can hear the faint beat of the song Hoseok is composing, but no rhythm.
His phone dings again.
Baby. Tell me, what are you wearing?
Another message from Changkyun. And this one is doubly infuriating—there's a second Hyungwon wants to smash his phone into the wall! But instead, he types back with gritted teeth. Why are you doing this?
Because this is enough. He's fed up and wants answers. And Changkyun should know what he's talking about.
Indeed the reply is rather slow. He can see Changkyun typing and erasing and pausing, and typing again several times. At one point it looks like Changkyun had typed an entire paragraph. But then finally he only receives a short reply: I thought it was fun.
And Hyungwon can't hold it in any longer, because no offense, but that statement has no actual information in it! His reply flies out—Do you want to break up?
But then, as he sees the checkmark that means Changkyun has read his message, and the fact that Changkyun isn't immediately typing again, he instantly regrets it. Why would they break up if Changkyun hasn't done anything wrong? In fact, it feels like Changkyun is reading his mind, because after a minute, Changkyun's reply is, Why would we break up?
Hyungwon's anger melts away into a pit of sadness that makes him want to cry suddenly—Why indeed! When Changkyun is the best relationship Hyungwon has ever had—fake or not—and yet all Hyungwon can do is sabotage it! Even if it's a game—he has no idea anymore—it's still nothing but sweet. He can tell Changkyun cares, because Changkyun has always cared and that didn't change. Changkyun has always liked buying random gifts for the members. Changkyun always gave awkward compliments. Changkyun always liked cuddles—meanwhile Hyungwon has always been ignorant to any girl that's ever liked him! He just doesn't notice things. Or if he does, he has no idea what to do and takes no action. So Changkyun was right, Hyungwon is terrible. It's not fair for Changkyun and he wants to know why even a fake partner hasn't dumped him yet.
Am I a good boyfriend?—That's all Hyungwon can come up with to ask. Like, no, of course not, but he doesn't actually want to upset Changkyun. If Changkyun wants to continue because it's "fun" for him, then there's no reason to break up other than Hyungwon's inability to pull his head out of his ass.
Thankfully, Changkyun's reply seems lighthearted. You're pretty terrible, lol. But I already knew that, didn't I? And a minute later, he follows it up with, I like you the way you are.
As if Hyungwon needed reassurance. Because yes, he did. But this still doesn't feel fair between them. He decides to change topics.
Why aren't the others laughing at us? he sends.
I told them not to, Changkyun replies. And Hyungwon is surprised to hear this.
I said I'm doing an experiment so they shouldn't bother you.
At this, Hyungwon frowns. Are you doing an experiment? he types back, genuinely anxious to finally find out. But Changkyun doesn't answer.
He waits, but it seems their conversation tonight is over. So after a few minutes he throws his phone to the side and sighs. These are more answers than he had before, he supposes.
Hoseok looks at him from beyond the light of his laptop screen. "You ok?" he asks. Because Hyungwon looks frustrated.
No, he doesn't know if he's ok. But it's drilling the inside of his skull so he has to ask: "Did 'Kyun say anything about an experiment?"
Hoseok tilts his head as if he doesn't understand.
"He talked to you about us dating, right?"—Fuck, that's probably the first time he's said they're dating out loud, and it feels fucking awkward slipping out like that.
"Yeah. He did. A while ago," Hoseok says tentatively. "Are you guys still doing that?" His expression looks like he's tip-toeing the edge of a precipice, and Hyungwon doesn't blame him.
"I'm asking you what he said."
Hoseok is puzzled again. "He said you've agreed to date and that he'll clobber me—us, if anyone besides the members finds out or if we make fun of you. I don't know what you want me to say about it."
It's undistinguishable from Hoseok's tone what Changkyun's meaning was; except he evidently never said anything about an experiment. Ugh.
"And what do you think about it?"
"I have no idea what to think," Hoseok replies, with a shrug that feels like he's struggling not to laugh. Clearly unsure what's appropriate between two vastly different extremes, and can probably read the exact same confusion on Hyungwon's face. "I can't even tell if you guys are serious or joking. Are you serious? You're worrying me."
And yup. Exactly. Hyungwon feels exactly like that. Should he burst out laughing because it's preposterous to be fake-dating a friend? Or show some empathy for friends who are supposed to be straight yet are discovering uncomfortable truths?
Hyungwon answers that, "I don't know." And it's lame because he just doesn't know. There's a fine line between comedy and tragedy, and hermitting back into his shell to avoid thinking about this for one more day feels like the best plan.
Hoseok frowns at him.
The second half of tour comes with the responsibility of preparing for the next album and beyond; so Hyunwoo, Hoseok, and Hyungwon have been gathering to try to create various new choreography around their performance schedules. It's nothing they didn't do last year, but this means that Hyungwon has sore muscles from dancing too much every day.
It's also given him a valid excuse to avoid Changkyun. But as always, he ends up regretting this because when he returns to his room tonight, exhausted and way past midnight, Changkyun is waiting for him.
"You're tired," the youngest says kindly. It's not even a question. He puts down his book and takes Hyungwon's hand. "How about a bath before bed?" he entreats as he begins to strip Hyungwon's clothes off. "For your muscles to relax."
Hyungwon doesn't have the energy to do anything but follow his lead. It's only after Hyungwon gets into a dim candle-lit bathtub that he notices Changkyun had this all prepared for him.
"—Wait," he rushes to say before Changkyun leaves him alone. "Stay."
He has no idea if it's weird, but he doesn't want Changkyun to leave yet. Changkyun could have been asleep by now, but instead he'd ordered candles, and run a bath at the perfect temperature for Hyungwon to arrive and step right into, and even helped Hyungwon pull off all his sweaty gym clothes. He'd smacked Hyungwon's naked butt and called him "cute when he's tired" and Hyungwon hadn't even noticed until now.
"I'm not cute when I'm tired," he finally rebutts, as Changkyun takes a seat on the tile floor beside the tub, motioning for Hyungwon to just relax.
"Of course you are. You're cute when you wake up too, and you know it," Changkyun teases.
But Hyungwon had been thinking more about how he's treating Changkyun badly again. He's selfish for not wanting him to leave, but even so he reaches out again to hold Changkyun's hand. It's nice to be able to lie back in the water and twine their fingers together.
Changkyun likes it when Hyungwon is soft in return. He says Hyungwon is, "Cute," again as he pets over Hyungwon's knuckles.
"Can you tell me again why you're single?"
"I'm not single. I have you," Changkyun replies smartly. And at least he's laughing, which means he's joking, unlike Hyungwon. But he's also deflecting, so when he sees the serious look on Hyungwon's face, he relents. "I just haven't found someone I'm compatible with."
"In bed?" Hyungwon supplies. Because thinking back to the night that started all this, he remembers Changkyun jacking off to porn and getting angry that Hyungwon had insulted his dignity as a man.
"Why? You curious?" Changkyun teases.
And Hyungwon almost nods. It's not for himself that he's curious, but—these last few months "dating" Changkyun has made him wonder what girls could possibly not like about him. He gulps instead and chooses not to answer. He's nervous suddenly from having these thoughts pop up in his head: What Changkyun might be like as a lover, not just a boyfriend.
Changkyun just chuckles at him. Flirting with Hyungwon has become a pastime. Knowing he can act how he wants and very likely Hyungwon won't stop him, it's a kind of stress relief. It's only surprising when Hyungwon asks, "So. What do you like?"—What does Changkyun like in bed that his past girlfriends dumped him over?—Well, he's not prepared to answer that, but it's an open invitation to flirt some more. So he smiles, all coy and knowing that the way he's holding Hyungwon's hand right now will make Hyungwon meet his eyes again.
"I want someone who'll let me play with their body," he replies cryptically.
Oh yeah, Hyungwon is super fun to tease. "Can I?" Changkyun smirks.
"Can I what?"
He kisses Hyungwon's knuckles—That's what he meant. And Hyungwon looks back at him, eyes slightly wider, but he didn't flinch. He seems to be waiting, his attention rapt on Changkyun, and Changkyun loves it so much that he kisses over Hyungwon's fingers this time, watching closely for his reaction.
It's so gentle that Hyungwon doesn't know what to do. He's a bit frozen in watching Changkyun, looking into his eyes when he looks up from beneath lashes, and there's fire there that's holding him captive. Changkyun massages into the metacarpal bones and flips his hand up so he can press his mouth into Hyungwon's palm. There's a kiss somewhere in the way he drags his lips softly across this skin and up the middle finger. It's sending shivers down his back yet Hyungwon is mesmerized. He feels loved, and the way it affects his heart to see Changkyun on his knees like that—the scariest part of this is the fact that Hyungwon wants him to keep going.
When Changkyun's mouth reaches his fingertips, Hyungwon isn't even thinking anymore. He traces a finger over the outline of Changkyun's lips and watches how this makes Changkyun burn even brighter. The younger returns more kisses, more surely over each pad of each finger. Slowly, softly, but deliberately, so Hyungwon becomes acquainted with how his mouth feels. Hyungwon can see it in his eyes that he's opening up, showing his sexuality more flagrantly—because that's lust in his eyes—and yet Hyungwon waits with him. Lets him move and kiss his hand as slowly as he wants, because he wants to see more.
Then Changkyun exhales roughly, sending a humid rush of heat over Hyungwon's hand, and before he takes another breath he licks up Hyungwon's finger middle wetly and Hyungwon finds himself inhaling in anticipation—fuck. This is turning him on. He blinks stupidly when he finds arousal gathering between his legs, and thank god that Changkyun can't currently see beneath the water—
The heat of Changkyun's breath washing over him. The touch of his lips. The way his tongue peeks out and plays. This seduction makes Hyungwon bite his lip and tear his eyes away. Fuck, Changkyun is making him hard, and at once he wants to cry but he also can't bring himself to pull his hand away when it feels this good. He's never had this before—not this soft, not like someone cares for him—the way Changkyun wants to make him feel good right now. Because he doesn't need to say it when Hyungwon had read it in his eyes so clearly.
The shock of these emotions punch him in the heart and he whines out as Changkyun licks over the tips of his fingers again. The only thing on his mind as he shuts his eyes is Changkyun. His mouth is hot and wet, and just when Hyungwon wonders if he can touch inside, Changkyun draws his middle finger into his mouth. Just to the middle knuckle, but it makes Hyungwon's dick twitch. He presses a hand over himself and exhales—and Changkyun does it again. Pulls his finger into his mouth and drags his teeth across the skin so Hyungwon can feel him bite into the bones. He can't help the way he moans from this—he doesn't care if he shouldn't—he wants to feel Changkyun's mouth so much that when Changkyun licks over him again Hyungwon curls two fingers behind his teeth to pull him back.
Changkyun gives him what he wants. On the next lick, he takes two digits deep into his mouth and bites and Hyungwon whines and tugs at his own dick because fuck if this isn't the sexiest moment of this life—this breathing is labored as if he's running for his life and he nearly sobs—Changkyun licks at his fingers in a way that starts a rhythm, in and out of his mouth so it's wet—so wet—and perverted and completely feels like a different body part. But he can still feel teeth, and how much Changkyun wants him, how fucking eager he is to suck on Hyungwon's fingers and lick between and around and just treat him like he's sucking d—
"F-fuck—" Hyungwon moans, so brokenly. He can't—can't take this—he's fucking so hard and worked up, his head thrown back and panting, that he's going to come from this—from Changkyun's mouth sucking him—
And that's when Changkyun wakes up. Also panting when Hyungwon looks back at him. Dark, lidded eyes. Blinking, slowing down. Trying to catch his own breath and figure out what exactly he was doing. Because—
"Fuck," Changkyun repeats. As if in slow motion. "Fuck. I'm sorry." He wasn't thinking. He shouldn't have done that.
He swallows heavily and licks nervously at his own lips. His heartbeat is erratic and he hasn't been this—hasn't let himself fall away from reality like this. Except this is Hyungwon's effect on him.
"I'm sorry," Changkyun chokes out. It's the best he can say, as he lets go and stands up, and just needs to get out of here before he does anything else this stupid. The moment just ran away—Hyungwon is sexy—the way he looks, and sounds, and the way he whines so beautifully—Changkyun wants to cry!—Fuck. Just fuck! He's such a moron! He runs.
In the bedroom he has no idea what to do with himself. He's at his wits' end—
"Wait!" Hyungwon grabs him, and Changkyun is frightened he's going to get slapped—Hyungwon must be livid at him for this—"Show me one reason why someone wouldn't want to be with you," Hyungwon blurts out. He's trying to keep a towel around his waist at the same time as tug Changkyun back by the arm.
"—I'm sorry. I'm really sorry—I shouldn't have—" Changkyun berates, so caught up in his own shame that it tramples over whatever Hyungwon even said. He smacks at his own head.
"'Kyun." Hyungwon shakes him by the shoulder to get his attention. Makes him face him. Changkyun can barely look up so Hyungwon takes his chin. "Tell me. I'm serious." He waits for the words to sink into Changkyun's brain before he repeats. "Show me one reason why someone wouldn't want to be with you."
"Y-you're not angry?"
"I'm not angry. I just want to know."
Changkyun is looking at him in a way Hyungwon recognizes. His brain is working hard now to readjust and calculate. Weighing options. Apprehensive. Shy...
"One thing," Hyungwon asks. And he can see this is hard for him, but finally Changkyun swallows.
"One thing," he repeats quietly. As if he's lost his own voice. And Hyungwon nods to encourage him. "Give me a sec to get it."
As Changkyun turns to fish through his luggage, Hyungwon has time to towel himself dry and slip on a pair of underwear; his motions working on auto-pilot so that he doesn't dare think about what's happening between them right now.
And then Changkyun clears his throat to get his attention, as he holds his hand over his own mouth. That's—weird, and not in any way Hyungwon expected.
Changkyun holds out his other hand and shows a small golden tube. A lipstick? Huh?
"I'm not sure what to say right now, so um. This is one thing," Changkyun says. He looks petrified and since Hyungwon knows him, he knows this means he's fragile right now.
He drops his hand from his mouth and reveals stark red lips.
That's—um. Odd, of course. Hyungwon doesn't understand so he offers his hand and thankfully Changkyun takes it, so he can pull him closer. Hyungwon is nearly towering over him as they stand toe to toe, but Hyungwon wants him close to get a better look. He tilts his chin up and Changkyun's cheeks flush pink. It's charming that he can make Changkyun shy also.
And his lips—well, any other time but this, with any other member Hyungwon might say it looks ridiculous to wear a color that's obviously meant for girls. He'd probably laugh endlessly, but not this time. Because Changkyun isn't kidding. So Hyungwon can appraise him seriously also and—it's pretty nice actually.
"Cute. Is this it?"
Changkyun shakes his head but seems to also gather some courage. His lips look even prettier when a little smile curls up the corners. And Hyungwon just wants to encourage him so he caresses his cheek. And Changkyun nuzzles into the touch for a moment and it really makes Hyungwon want more. Moments like these are what make Hyungwon so confused, because he likes Changkyun. He can admit he's developed a small crush. It's just so heart-warming when Changkyun is soft and genuine like that. Like when they cuddle together and he can feel Changkyun breathe. Or like this when he's a pretty kitty with lipstick and eyes that light up as he sparks with that naughty little energy of his.
Changkyun pulls out the lipstick again and uncaps it. He gets close and Hyungwon is just left standing, waiting, watching, as Changkyun draws a heart on his chest with the lipstick. Not big, just the size of a real heart. And then he leans in and kisses the center so his lips leave a mark on Hyungwon's chest also. He pulls back to admire his work and Hyungwon follows his eyes curiously. He has no idea what he's waiting for, but Changkyun seems to content himself with drawing his art and kissing on Hyungwon's body.
It starts with more hearts than kisses, which Hyungwon isn't sure how to receive in order for them to not have a repeat of what happened in the tub. But Changkyun seems to be picking special places he particularly likes lavishing attention on, so it's inevitable that his gentle pecks would become more heated. The way Changkyun once again moves slowly gives Hyungwon time to catch up and zoom in and feel each kiss acutely. The puffs of his breath. The way Changkyun touches him, a hand splayed across his ribs to admire him, fingers slotting carefully between his bones. Or down his side, or pulling him closer as he squeezes his hip, makes Hyungwon's breath run fast. Or how Changkyun presses into the small of his back to bend him and kiss him in the position he wants. Once again leading him with his lips, makes Hyungwon melt to his will, falling into a daze where Changkyun's lips on his body are welcome. Where he kisses in a line down each rib and then so precariously close to his nipple that Hyungwon feels his heart stop in his throat. Changkyun moves on and kisses up his sternum too, as his fingers bite into his flesh and smear at least a few of the heart drawings.
"'Kyun," Hyungwon says restlessly. Yet he has no idea what he wants to say. He just lets Changkyun kiss across his shoulder and can't help wrapping his arms around him. If whatever this is makes Changkyun happy, then he feels thankful to see it.
"So I can see my lips on your body," Changkyun answers, the words soft and humid on Hyungwon's neck before he lays a small kiss here too. Hyungwon is grateful that Changkyun hadn't lunged for his neck from the beginning or he'd be a goner. He's sensitive and still a little turned on, and can't help the thrill that runs down his spine from just hearing his voice so close, quiet and low, and with that gravelly pitch to it. He closes his eyes and Changkyun holds more of his weight as he lays open, wet kisses up Hyungwon's throat. Right under his ear where Hyungwon is sensitive enough to whimper when he feels tongue. "You're ok with this?" Changkyun asks. So softly, as if Hyungwon might break. He licks up the shell of Hyungwon's ear to see if he'll get a response, and Hyungwon gulps visibly.
There's nothing very forceful about this behavior. Not quite what happened in the tub. It looks like Changkyun is just playing with his body, as he'd said. It's just tame foreplay. It's curious, if anything. But he knows that if Changkyun were to bite or suck seriously at his neck, Hyungwon would be in trouble.
So Changkyun likes to take his time with his lovers? Is that the point of this?
Finally, Changkyun does step back, and admires his work, and how Hyungwon's breathing isn't quite normal—hitches between his breaths that he's trying to control. And it's all... sexy. But in a deviant way. The type of seduction Changkyun enjoys.
He pushes Hyungwon to the bathroom mirror so he can have the answer he wanted.
"Look at yourself," he says and turns Hyungwon around—reluctantly, because Hyungwon was preoccupied watching Changkyun—and stands by his shoulder to make sure Hyungwon gets a good look.
There's something vulgar about this indeed. There's red everywhere, as if a wild animal had slashed at him. And there's red smeared all over Changkyun's mouth too. He gulps.
"This is why," Changkyun states.
There's a challenging look in his eyes, as they stare at each other through the mirror, like he wants to scare Hyungwon into backing down. That says, do you like this? Because this is why nobody wants to date me. Because I'm broken inside.
That's what Hyungwon is reading from all this. So he steps closer to the mirror, and the red splotches all over his chest and shoulders and neck begin to look like hearts and kiss-marks again. Somehow, some of Changkyun's pain has swept into him also and he sighs. Then turns back around to face Changkyun.
"Can I draw on you too?" Hyungwon says, taking him by the wrist that's still holding the lipstick. He's trying to imbue this moment with a lightness that isn't quite there, because Changkyun looks anxious, and shy to be looked at again after making a scene like this. But the thing Hyungwon zooms in on is Changkyun's mouth.
Why should this be sad?—He doesn't care what color it is, Changkyun has an absolutely lovely mouth. It's beyond words or comprehension what makes Hyungwon lean in and kiss him. It just feels right to finally feel those lips against his, after being tortured by them all night.
The younger makes a little squeak of surprise at first. He might even have wanted to push Hyungwon away, but as Hyungwon backs him up into the doorway, and plunders his sinful little mouth, Changkyun forgets his objections. He should have seen this coming. He has no idea why he didn't. Why he thought that all his teasing wouldn't amount to anything. But being kissed suddenly brings lots of things into focus. He's wanted Hyungwon like this for a while now, hasn't he?
And Hyungwon is more forceful with him than he would have guessed. He moved past tentative quickly, sweeping Changkyun right into the open-mouthed and starved kiss he deserves. The type that leaves him panting and desperate—and uncomfortably aware of his own desire—when Hyungwon parts too soon.
"What are your other kinks, hm?" Hyungwon asks, close between their mouths so he can still feel Changkyun's uneasy breath. "You wanna tie me up? You wanna spank me?" he threatens. And he doesn't know where he's getting the courage to say these things, but Changkyun's eyes sparkle in a happy and dangerous way that either means "yes" or "don't make me." It's fucking erotic, and Hyungwon can't help lunging into his mouth once more, heavy and bruising with a hand on the back of his head to nearly make their teeth clang together. Hyungwon's had so much teasing tonight, and so many limits have been broken, that he doesn't care anymore. "What else is there?" Because in this moment, Hyungwon wants it badly.
But it's Changkyun who steps away first. "I'll think about it," he replies with a hand on Hyungwon's chest to hold them apart. "Until then, get back in the tub and clean up."
It's a slightly abrupt way to break their kiss. He probably shouldn't have pushed Changkyun so much.
"Are you leaving?"
"I don't think I should sleep here tonight," Changkyun admits. He's starting to feel the weight of his mistakes. It's not that kissing Hyungwon had been bad, but they're friends. He needs to process this.
Except that's the opposite of what Hyungwon wants; who only gets closer again, to hold his cheek and sweep his hair back. "Hey. Stay here, ok? Go sleep. I'll join you in a few minutes."
Changkyun searches in Hyungwon's eyes for meaning, but it doesn't seem very deep. They're just going to sleep together as friends who need comfort. Because Hyungwon can't bear to have Changkyun leave. Not tonight. He just wants to hold him.
It's a good thing they can read each other this well.
So Changkyun does stay, and falls asleep because it's early morning by now. And Hyungwon cuddles into him a few minutes later.
There are weird looks between them the day after, because how can there not be? But it's not the same as what Changkyun is used to.
Hyungwon is shy, because Changkyun's lips are all he can think about. How it felt to kiss him and hold him, and how much Changkyun cares beneath that bristly personality of his, makes Hyungwon's cheeks flush pink. He can feel it in the pit of his stomach when he thinks about this new side of Changkyun that he got a peek at.
It's not bad, but it's taboo. Because he shouldn't be looking at him like a lover. But it's inevitable now. You just don't do the things they did last night with a friend. They crossed lines and he can't say he wasn't turned on by him. He was! He was rock hard and panting in a bathtub. Fuck, if he could go back to that moment, he'd come. He would have come, he just knows it. Of course this makes him blush.
He doesn't mind Changkyun's kinks so far. If anything, this finally feels like a real relationship. He's finally discovered something that maybe he can satisfy Changkyun with. So he's anxious in a way that makes him jittery and stupid, but he can't not follow deeper down this path.
It's a week before Hyungwon can't stand just looking at him anymore. He doesn't care that he's not supposed to be kissing his groupmates, because Changkyun is different now.
He'd stuck his fingers in his own mouth last night—so that he could remember—and jacked off to the thought of him for the first time. It had all started and ended with Changkyun's mouth, and undeniably he wants to taste it again.
So as he watches Changkyun changing backstage after the show tonight, Hyungwon feels the same excitement he feels when he sees a girl he likes. He wants privacy to kiss and undress her, and Changkyun just made the latter half of his job easier. Changkyun throws him a glare that says he should stop staring because he's acting suspiciously in public, but Hyungwon has better ideas right now. There's a washroom on the other side of the room, and if he can pull Changkyun in there discreetly—
Their manager interrupts his train of thought to declare that the cars are here for them.
Great timing. Too bad he doesn't care. That means he has at least one more minute before they get shouted at and that's one minute Hyungwon wants to spend attached to Changkyun's lips. He pulls him into the washroom immediately and locks the door behind them.
"—There's a million staff out there," Changkyun hisses at him for being so brazen.
"Nobody cares. We're together all the time," Hyungwon replies lowly as he gets disarmingly close to Changkyun's neck, backing him into the sink counter like a predator. The rest of that room was erased the instant he closed the door. Right now his eyes are on Changkyun and though it takes the younger a second to figure out what's happening, he slings an arm around Hyungwon's shoulder before their lips seal together.
It's scorching hot, the type of kiss that burns with intensity. There's no hesitation, just tongue and panting and Changkyun clawing at his shoulders as Hyungwon hops him up onto the counter so he can maul his neck also. And there's skin—for once, Hyungwon knows what to do with Changkyun's body—drag his tongue over the sweat drying on him and suck a nipple into his mouth to make the younger whine with need. Because this is long overdue. Changkyun pulls his mouth back up and wraps his legs around Hyungwon's waist as he shoves his tongue nearly down Hyungwon's throat. And Hyungwon bends him deeper to reciprocate. With a thumb mashed into his cheek savagely to keep his mouth open, and fingers biting into Changkyun's neck, he growls at him for how this makes him feel—it's unlike anything Hyungwon has wanted before. Changkyun tugs at his lip with teeth and Hyungwon swears he wants to plow him into the fucking mirror.
—Fuck. They need to stop, don't they? A minute is up.
There's a giftbox on his bed when Hyungwon gets to his room the next day. He's received presents from Changkyun before but this is rather larger and strangely light. It feels nearly empty.
His phone dings with a new message from Changkyun:
Come to my room when you're ready.
Ready? That seems like a strange choice of words, until Hyungwon opens the package.
And his stomach falls out of his body.
Lingerie. Fucking women's lingerie, and there's no mistaking that it's for Hyungwon and he has a definite panic attack in that moment. The package drops back onto the bed and he stands there staring at it like it may bite.
He swallows around a heart that's blocking his airway. Because Changkyun—he wants—Hyungwon to wear this and—
And sex. Some kind of sex.
Because he's not stupid. It's fucking obvious that he's been leading Changkyun on. His hand is trembling when he reaches out to actually pull the garments out for a closer look.
It's an all black set. Lace. Except for the thigh-stockings with a simple line up the back. There's a garter belt. Hyungwon is surprised he even knows the name of such an item.
—Just seriously, fuck! What is he supposed to do about this?!
He whips out his phone and types: Changkyun. Are you insane???
The reply is immediate: Yes.
Hyungwon throws his phone onto the bed and marches to the bathroom. He needs to unwind. This is too much for him.
In the tub, as he lies back in the water with his head tilted up to stare at the ceiling... He remembers being in this position with Changkyun. And that it was scary good.
This is bad. This is really bad...
If he does this, there's no going back. He'd have slept with a friend. A teammate. ...A boy. Pardon, a man. Because Changkyun is a gentleman as much as he's a giant flirt. And Hyungwon might hurt him. Somehow.
This is dangerous in a million ways he can't even think of right now.
He closes his eyes and sighs deeply.
Hyungwon makes a decision based on how Changkyun's lips feel. And then proceeds to shave his legs, and armpits, and literally every hair on his body below his eyebrows, and feels incredibly guilty that it turns him on thinking of Changkyun during this.
At one point he feels like crying but slaps himself out of it and puts on the garments, and swallows down his humiliation at stuffing his dick into a sheer scrap of fabric that leaves little to the imagination. He can do this if this is what Changkyun likes. And then he sits there for a minute, staring at himself in the mirror. Panties. Belt. Thigh-stockings.
He went with wet-look hair that he simply swept back, because everything else after a bath would have looked like a child dressing up in porn-star clothes. Also because he's sick enough without dragging this out further. When he feels the need to slap himself again he covers everything up in a white hotel robe and walks out the door before he can stop himself.
Changkyun is wearing a white button-up and black slacks, and the second Hyungwon sees him he realizes that he's just averted another possible crisis—he's glad Changkyun looks the way he knows him, nothing weird or new. He's handsome the way he is, as he guides Hyungwon to sit and pours him a glass of wine.
Of course, the first thing Changkyun sees when Hyungwon walks in is the dark stockings peeking out beneath the robe and slippers—and he'd be lying to say he isn't nervous. But he covers it up by sipping his drink, and Hyungwon sits across from him, also enjoying the wine.
"No lipstick tonight?" Hyungwon asks casually, for the sake of the most awkward small-talk they've ever had. Changkyun looks like he's been punched in the gut with that question, so Hyungwon tries to make it better. "It would have looked good with what you're wearing," he shrugs.
Another thing he notices is that Changkyun is good at picking wine Hyungwon likes. Or maybe he just knows Hyungwon likes wine and picks the expensive ones. Either way, it's alcohol and Hyungwon appreciates it, because he's watching Changkyun's gaze locked on his ankle and needs to drown the butterflies he feels. He drops the slippers and Changkyun gulps—Hyungwon can see it in his eyes how this affects him. This is clearly not an act anymore. And Hyungwon sighs because maybe it never was. It's felt pretty real for Hyungwon his whole time, hasn't it? So without further ado, he puts down his glass and stands up, and Changkyun stands too, copying mechanically.
Hyungwon reaches to untie the waistband of his robe as Changkyun's eyes follow him—Then suddenly he stops him with a hand on Hyungwon's wrist. "—You don't have to! You're beautiful without that stuff. I'm sorry—"
But Hyungwon interrupts him. "You wanted to see it, right?" Changkyun had obviously planned this all. "It's fine." He looks into Changkyun's eyes and sees the tremble beneath. "Take it off me if you don't like it."
And then he unties the robe and reveals himself, the lingerie coming into view. Changkyun's eyes get wider, and he makes a step forward but hesitates for some reason. Hyungwon lets the robe slip off his shoulders so there's no more hiding what he's wearing—How little he's wearing.
It looks like Changkyun is holding his breath. So Hyungwon reaches for him first, hand on his shoulder. "You ok?"
Changkyun pulls his eyes off Hyungwon's body to look into his eyes. "I can touch you?"
"I kind of assumed you would," Hyungwon smirks. And pulls Changkyun closer, like the younger obviously wants to be but is scared.
"Hyungwon," he gulps. "You—you're really—" And he doesn't get to finish because Hyungwon kisses him.
Changkyun's lips feel like someone he could fall in love with. If he hasn't already.
They kiss softly, nipping at each other between shared breaths. It's tender and kind and slow as Hyungwon holds him, almost like they could have done this all along, because he still feels the friend he's known for years. He knows Changkyun feels this too.
In the end, Changkyun pushes him off. It seems he needs more time to digest all this. He takes back his glass and gulps down a few mouthfuls before he looks back into Hyungwon's expecting eyes.
And then Changkyun's eyes journey down Hyungwon's body, in that outfit of scrap lace, and his gaze turns predatory. Because the garter belt sits high on Hyungwon's tiny waist, making his legs a mile long. And the thigh-highs make his skin like silk that Changkyun is salivating to touch. And he sees beneath the panties that Hyungwon is slightly aroused also, and can't wait to make him more so and watch him grow. He feels himself twitch with need seeing him this way.
Changkyun needs another sip of wine to steady himself, and he looks into Hyungwon's eyes again. And then the last quarter of his glass, he pours leisurely down Hyungwon's chest, to admire the burgundy rivers as they flow down his skin and disappear. All the way to the garter belt, and a few drops that escape and make it to the panty line. Then Changkyun follows the path of his gaze with gentle fingers, looking between Hyungwon's face and body to catch his reactions; and when he grabs more roughly at his hips, he bends forward and brings his mouth to one of Hyungwon's nipples and Hyungwon wimpers. For a second, he felt teeth.
You're beautiful. I love you—it's in the way Changkyun touches him. Changkyun's lips move delicately, dropping kisses across Hyungwon's clavicle, and shoulder. Just dragging his mouth along because Hyungwon is precious to him, and he wants to worship him. He licks up his neck and Hyungwon mewls. And then he sucks a deep kiss into his jugular and Hyungwon quakes in his arms. He's responsive even to the smallest kisses. Each press of Changkyun's lips, even just his breath. And he smells divine as Changkyun inhales under his ear, to the point that Changkyun wants to eat him.
Foreplay is something Hyungwon must have been doing wrong all these years. He's never had this suspenseful shivering, with lust that builds like liquid dripping, drop by drop he can feel it down his spine and to his toes. It prickles as it gathers pressure at his groin and he feels himself grow hard—deliberately, because Changkyun willed it so. Because he feels naked and exposed, but warm from how Changkyun handles him.
He nearly staggers when Changkyun sucks at his throat again.
"Can I kiss you again?" Hyungwon asks. Or is he doomed to be Changkyun's toy tonight?
But Changkyun smiles. "Sure, baby, you can help me undress too," he says, and pulls Hyungwon into a tongue-kiss so deep it melts at his dick. Hyungwon lunges back for more but Changkyun turns his head and Hyungwon mouths at his neck instead. It's his turn to taste Changkyun.
Though he'd rushed before, the slow pace that Changkyun likes moving at has lured Hyungwon also, syncing his senses to the point that he swears those are pheromones he tastes like a spice along Changkyun's skin. He feels intoxicated as he starts unbuttoning the younger's shirt. Each button lower, he accompanies with more licks and sucks—not enough to leave marks but each time he looks up, Changkyun's eyes are only blacker.
When the shirt falls open and Hyungwon gets lower on his chest, Changkyun brushes a hand through his hair and pulls just enough to make him kneel. A direct jolt runs from the base of his skull where Changkyun had tugged, to his stomach which flips abruptly.
Being face to face with Changkyun's groin is—daunting. But when he looks up to his face, Changkyun looks encouraging and so Hyungwon opens his pants, timid as he may be. He reaches back up Changkyun's belly as Changkyun presses over a full erection and groans before bringing himself out of his underwear. So Hyungwon has no option but to pay attention to it.
It's—um—like electricity that chokes him to have this—so close to his face. To see the anticipation and know what usually happens here on his knees. His mouth is dry and, fuck—his heart might explode—he's not ready to have dick in his mouth. And thankfully Changkyun can read this in his hesitation. Hyungwon places hands on Changkyun's hips too weakly now.
"Just kiss the tip," Changkyun soothes. And Hyungwon looks back up. Changkyun's holding out his hard length, waiting patiently, but his face—lips trembling and eyes dark, all for Hyungwon. "You don't have to do much," he says. He makes Hyungwon brave enough to give a kiss to the tip, just like Changkyun had asked; not even looking at what he's doing because he's watching Changkyun's eyes instead. Eyes that nearly roll back from how erotic is it to have Hyungwon in this position. Changkyun's exhale quakes his whole chest, down to the erection that bounces on Hyungwon's bottom lip. Hyungwon is allowing him—looking up with his big pretty doe eyes, as he lets Changkyun spread a drop of precome slowly; his cockhead running along Hyungwon's full, pouty lips—slightly parted because he's such a good boy—like painting lipstick on him.
It feels dirty, but Hyungwon has no choice but to lick his lips and taste—as Changkyun watches. Changkyun's flavor is like his own, which is a comfort, yet he swallows uneasily. It felt so silky, that Hyungwon is afraid he almost misses touching his lips to the skin—there.
That was enough for Changkyun. Grateful enough for having pushed Hyungwon this far out of his comfort zone, he makes a nod towards the bed, meaning for him to go lie down.
It's a relief for that exercise to be over, but it's left Hyungwon jittery with nerves. It's not easy to even lie down, with Changkyun always watching like that. He feels like prey. Scared to be devoured, no matter how he tells himself it'll feel good. Because Changkyun hasn't done even a thing that didn't make Hyungwon feel good, loved, or more aroused.
Hyungwon positions at the center of the bed and Changkyun unashamedly drops his bottoms and comes to lie at his side—rather than over him as Hyungwon had expected. But even with his erection brushing Hyungwon's hip—this is better. He has his friend beside him and feels safe this way.
Changkyun is petting over his chest. "Will you touch yourself?"
Changkyun smiles. "Follow my mouth," he says, then kisses Hyungwon on the lips sweetly. He comes away with a sly grin. Waiting. "Go on," he encourages, and Hyungwon hesitantly touches his fingertips to his own lips, which tingle warmly. Changkyun is pleased. He kisses next at Hyungwon's jaw and gives a look to make sure Hyungwon's fingers are following in his wake. Then below his ear, he kisses and stops to inhale, before sinking teeth deep into his neck and sucking—it takes Hyungwon by surprise and he startles, but also mewls from the attack. He's sensitive—fuck, and Changkyun is laughing for making him feel this weak. He sucks again, slightly lower on this throat but just as powerful and Hyungwon's whole body contorts on the bed. Directly over his pulse is the worst, as Hyungwon knew it would be if Changkyun became more zealous this way. He feels lightheaded. And yet he's supposed to follow as Changkyun sucks kiss-marks lower on his skin.
It feels unreal to touch a place that had just been Changkyun's captive, like it's not even his own body anymore. He's more sensitive than ever, feeling stung where Changkyun's mouth has been. And Changkyun chuckles with joy at him. Heavy breaths fan out across the wet patches of skin, making Hyungwon shiver, yet he lets Changkyun leave a dozen hickeys on him, often with teeth—even nearly made his nipple bleed from how hard he tortured it—all in a line down his chest from neck to belly and further down to his groin.
Here, the kisses become like butterflies over the heavy erection straining inside the panties, and Hyungwon moans for him to suck harder. This is where he needs it most and it's driving him insane. He throws his head back and winds a hand through Changkyun's hair, where he's sunk low between his legs, and with god-given restraint he holds back from shoving his mouth on his dick how he wants. Maybe one day Changkyun will blow him—he knows now how badly he needs it—but Changkyun only kisses lower. Makes him bend his knees and part his thighs wider, so he can get between and lavish the private areas covered by Hyungwon's tiny panties. He leaves a hickey so high on his thigh, just off his perineum, and it feels so intimate to Hyungwon that he wonders if any girl has even touched him here. Yet Changkyun is contenting himself so skillfully, licking and nipping that low beneath his legs, along his pubic tendon too.
When he looks down he notices that Changkyun is fisting himself at the same time and—Hyungwon freezes then. Suddenly he's afraid Changkyun wants to fuck him, as if he wasn't already. Because that's what this looks like. The younger looks up to check on him.
"'Kyun, I don't want anything up my butt, ok?" Hyungwon jokes nervously.
Once upon a time, nor had Changkyun. But then he actually tried it, and, well, preferences can change. He nods in understanding and draws back up to Hyungwon's face. But that cunning smile of his probably means "not tonight" and it doesn't inspire the most confidence. "Relax," he says. "I'm gonna fuck myself on your dick. It's been a long time since I got the chance."
And oh. Well—that—is information Hyungwon had never considered before. His heart jumps into his throat and Changkyun can see his excitement.
"You like the sound of that?" he asks, voice dropping low and husky, close by Hyungwon's ear like a devil whispering. He places a hand over Hyungwon's own and makes him squeeze tightly around the glans peeking out of his panties. "I'm tight. More than any girl you've had before, and I want you to feel it."
Fucking hell—Hyungwon actually moans from this, because it sounds hot. He has to blink away how it overwhelms him. If he wakes up maybe it'll be gross again, but right now it sounds like the hottest thing he's ever heard of. And isn't that a lot of Changkyun's games? Gross until you try it and it burns you, and then you can never go back.
When Changkyun smiles at him now, it's reverent to see him reel from arousal. He brings a thumb up to smudge along Hyungwon's lips. To abuse them because they're the type of lips that wet-dreams are made of, and dare he not forget the type of sins they inspire. He's gotten Hyungwon so pliant to his kinks, that the elder opens up and sucks willfully at the two fingers Changkyun gives him. It feels like the holy trinity to Hyungwon; after he'd put his fingers in Changkyun's mouth, and then in his own mouth and got off on it. He's developing his own kink for earning Changkyun's proud and dark gaze for a job well done. He actually mourns when Changkyun pulls his fingers away, but the reward comes when Changkyun straddles Hyungwon's thighs and he reaches for himself—
He looks impressively big in those dainty hands of his, now that Hyungwon gets a better look; and then with the wet digits he'd pulled from Hyungwon's mouth, he reaches further down to dip inside himself for just a moment. Unexpectedly deeply, he reaches to his prostate, but it's enough. Just a preview that makes both their breath hitch. When Changkyun does it to himself, it's just fingers, so he needed a small last reassurance that he can handle being actually penetrated again after so many years.
His attention returns to Hyungwon, who lies stunned at what he's just seen.
Then Changkyun finally—because he's ready and can't wait anymore—lifts the panties off Hyungwon's dick. The intention was to let them bunch under his balls but since it's not the most comfortable, Changkyun can tell, he suddenly just fists and yanks. Hard enough for the fabric to tear. It makes Hyungwon's whole body tense from assault, but it leaves him free from confinement like a breath of fresh air. Changkyun doesn't bother to pull off the scraps from around his legs, he just sweeps back into Hyungwon's mouth to kiss the surprise off his face. Then fishes lube out from where he'd hid the tube.
Hyungwon is dazed. Having trouble keeping up. He finds Changkyun guiding his hand around his shaft, suddenly with a generous amount of lube. "Touch yourself," he hears, so Hyungwon continues by himself, as Changkyun wipes the remainder over his own asshole. The scent is like the same lube from when Hyungwon caught him—
Ok—Wow. They're really going to do this, aren't they? Cognizance returns to him like a brick, their eyes link, and he strokes more intentionally over himself. While Changkyun pauses to simply watch him. "Baby," Changkyun tells him. "You are so fucking gorgeous." And the admiration is so heavy in his voice, that it makes Hyungwon nervous again. If Changkyun says that kind of stuff, he'll get shy again and there's no anal fucking that's ever going to happen like that.
So he reaches for Changkyun as well, so he doesn't feel so self-conscious at being the only one receiving pleasure right now. Handling both of them at once makes it starkly clear that there are two males here, but also that they can be together, because they're both the same. Somehow that's the logic that makes sense to bring Hyungwon some peace through his fog of lust and the most unusual arousal he's ever felt. This is Changkyun he's with. Touching him now is helping him understand that more deeply.
Changkyun is glad Hyungwon feels comfortable stroking him. But as good as it is, this is something they can do any night or day. Tonight is meant for fireworks and it's already dragged on long enough. So he positions correctly above Hyungwon's length, and Hyungwon drops his hands. He lets Changkyun hold him and guide the head to his entrance, and then Changkyun is sinking down on him and—firstly, Hyungwon thought he might make more fuss over something monumental like this.
Secondly, holy hell—"Do you feel ok?" Hyungwon asks. Because he nearly needs to blink away stars from how Changkyun's ass squeezes him.
"Full," Changkyun answers. "Really full." His voice is airy from strain, but he continues undisturbed, concentrating on relaxing to adjust around Hyungwon.
While Hyungwon is going out of his mind suddenly because each inch is a step down into the depths of hell. Changkyun is not only as tight as he'd promised, but his deliberate, scrupulous drowning of sense, like a ritual, makes Hyungwon want to slam him down instead.
He watches sweat begin to shine at his hairline, and touches along his hips and thighs, to distract himself and give Changkyun the time he needs. But this only tunes him in to more parts of Changkyun's body he now finds arousing—actually, the word is sexy. Changkyun is fucking sexy and Hyungwon—well, he knew this. Everyone did. But not like this: Changkyun has propped his hands back on his own feet, as his thighs do all the work, to lift and lower him, up and down, and Hyungwon just gets to watch! As his mouth falls open from pleasure. As his breathing picks up. As he licks over his own lips and gasps so sweetly when it feels good.
Changkyun whimpers as he sits at the hilt. He feels so full and stretched, but he can do this more comfortably now, so he picks up the pace. Until he's riding Hyungwon however he pleases, repeatedly impaling himself and hanging onto Hyungwon's shoulders now, only to moan out louder. He's a vision when he's uninhibited this way.
For all the times Changkyun has complimented Hyungwon on his looks, the fact that he can look like this and not think he's anything less than stunning—but maybe he's never seen himself like this before. A pang of gratitude strikes Hyungwon from this thought, because he's so lucky. He can't take just watching him. He has to reach to touch him, but Changkyun pushes his hand away from his dick. So Hyungwon touches up his abdomen instead and Changkyun is confident enough to look him in the eyes now and show off the lean length of his body as he moves atop. He gets tighter when he clenches and Hyungwon's head spins again, but it's a reward for liking Hyungwon's hands on him. So Hyungwon reaches his arms fully around Changkyun's waist, and as he holds him, he gathers Changkyun's attention too, because the younger slows down and Hyungwon is able to pull his mouth into a kiss.
In a new position, Changkyun is sitting in Hyungwon's lap, and though Hyungwon is helping him bounce, he's getting frustrated with himself. And a bit at Hyungwon too for kissing him too much and breaking his rhythm. He steels himself, ready to make their sex faster and better, but Hyungwon interrupts him by yanking him down by the shirt collar.
"My turn?" he says. It's not a question because he's sat back watching for long enough. And yeah—yes. Ok. That's probably a better idea, Changkyun relents.
Hyungwon tears off the remainder of the panties—almost forgot he was wearing this shit—and nods at Changkyun to bend over with his ass in the air. And—well, the visual of this might kill him. His baby has a freaking nice ass with a cute pink hole that's shiny with lube and fluttering, looking abused already and like it wants desperately to be filled again; as Changkyun looks back at him over his shoulder in anticipation. Hyungwon licks his lips as he lines up and teases the head of his erection over this pucker. But this is a lot, actually, so he has to slow down. It's a first for Hyungwon to see this, a first to feel this, as he's never fucked any other girls in the ass before. Especially not someone he cares for. And Changkyun's ass might be legendary, so Hyungwon might need a moment to admire it. Didn't they always know the youngest had a thing for butts? He's watched Changkyun lay in inappropriate positions to show himself off for years. He knows how this boy is flexible and spreads his legs expertly. And now he finally gets to see him, and how his hole stretches over the tip as Hyungwon breaches him slowly. A few times, just to see his head sink in. Changkyun is right about paying attention to the details, because he almost can't tear his eyes away from the place they join.
"Be rough with me. I can take it," Changkyun huffs impatiently, but Hyungwon chooses to push in gradually and savor it, and comes up flush against his back to place a kiss on his neck.
"I'll get to it," Hyungwon grins. Like, trust him, now that he's got a taste, he wants to ruin Changkyun's ass. And this reversal of control is enough to shut up the younger's requests.
Hyungwon gives him a few thrusts to see which angle is best. Before pulling back to hold apart the halves of his ass and try longer motions. To see his dick sink in and out repeatedly, as Changkyun burns hotter from the friction. He whines and Hyungwon assumes he's doing something right.
So he scoots him forward to the headboard and Changkyun actually speaks. "Like this," he says. And if it's a good position for him, then that's the way Hyungwon fucks him.
They build a rhythm that gets Changkyun moaning. He's louder than Hyungwon would have guessed, but then again, Hyungwon isn't too sure what getting fucked in the ass feels like. At first it may have looked painful, but judging from Changkyun now, he looks near coming and he's barely touching himself. If he can take it harder, then Hyungwon gives it to him. Because the way he sounds, along with their skin slapping obscenely, is driving Hyungwon towards his peak too.
Hyungwon's thrusts get harder, the drag nearly making Changkyun's hole numb, but he's nailing his prostate better than he's ever felt. His mind goes foggy from an insatiable pressure that builds, like fire inside him, and he's not going to last much longer. Because fuck Hyungwon, this feels incredible. One hand on the bed frame as the elder holds him up against his body, he's fisting himself roughly with the other. Hyungwon is so deep inside him and direct, that he can feel it in his mouth practically and he whimpers—can't hold on. It hurts too fucking good—no matter how he's tried, he wouldn't be able to fuck himself this way. He needs Hyungwon. Needs him—With a blinding intensity Changkyun's orgasm rips through him. He cries out as the waves shake him, "Fuck—fuck—ffinish. Finish—" And if that's the way he begs, broken and needy like that, there's no place else he means other than for Hyungwon to finish inside him.
"You ok?" Hyungwon has to ask, even though he's also close—so close.
"Hyungwon!" Changkyun slams a fist into the wall in desperation—"Now. Want you to come!" Because he's getting more sensitive by the second and soon he'll want to peel his own skin off if Hyungwon keeps riding his prostate—Now. Hyungwon comes on command, and it's glorious—it melts inside him and drips from his ass as Hyungwon completes him. It never ends—Changkyun just moans and shakes along with him, as Hyungwon plants him nearly into the wall with the last of his thrusts.
The aftershocks have them panting on top of each other, unwilling to move.
That was... a lot.
It's nearly ten minutes before Changkyun shoves Hyungwon off his back and tumbles into a starfish at his side.
And thankfully Hyungwon gets up first because Changkyun refuses to move. He watches Hyungwon walk to the bathroom sluggishly—with his little butt and those legs in tights—and throws his head back again in distress, because that visual is enough to drive him wild all over again.
Hyungwon gets a damp towel to clean them up with. He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, at the horrific trail of bruises their lovemaking has left on his body, but finds he doesn't care how wrecked he looks. That was the best sex of his life.
He returns to find Changkyun in the same position. Head thrown back, he just stares at the ceiling as Hyungwon wipes up between his legs.
"Do you still think I'm playing?" Changkyun wants to know.
"No. I'm pretty sure that ended a while ago," Hyungwon sighs. "But can you tell me what was a game and what wasn't?"—Fucking call the clean-up good enough because he can't be bothered to find where Changkyun's jizz splattered—he simply pulls the blankets over their bodies and cuddles into Changkyun's arms. He can't move anymore.
Changkyun squeezes around his ribs. "I—didn't mean to like you this way. Obviously. I wasn't going to do anything other than tease you on cheesy dates and stuff."
"So you don't just like embarrassing me?" Hyungwon jokes, and Changkyun smacks him lightly. "What was I supposed to learn with all this, hm?"
"How to keep a girlfriend."
"So you're my girlfriend now?"
"If you want me to be."
"Anything. As long as you're mine," Hyungwon says, and kisses his forehead. He's feeling so sappy right now.
If he could see Changkyun's face, he'd see Changkyun might cry from hearing that. That Hyungwon will be there in the morning for him. But Changkyun doesn't reply. Instead he mopes that, "You need a ribbon around your neck next time. The outfit was missing a bow."
He knows that Changkyun needs someone to love. It's deep in his being how desperately he needs to share intimacy and he's been painfully starved for it. Changkyun likes to dote on his lover and pay attention to details and Hyungwon hopes he can give him the reason to do that now.
As they fall asleep, Changkyun muses that maybe the way he makes love doesn't work unless he loves his partner. And that he might just ask Jooheon to write a song about this with him. So that it'll make Hyungwon blush when they play it at their concerts and nobody but them knows what it's about. Ha.
Because Changkyun might be a sap too, but he's still the evil youngest.