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Finding My Sun

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i wanna take a million polaroid pictures of you
i wanna measure the arch of your neck
i wanna know the lumps of your fingers
i wanna know your morning routine
And whether you wash behind your ears
i wanna spend a christmas morning with you
i wanna map out the plane of your back
and connect the dots of your face with my finger
i wanna know what makes you tick
and laugh
and smile
and moan
and cry
and shout
and scream
and love



Maddie was five when she got her first tattoo. She was playing with her brothers when she noticed something on her wrist that hadn't been there before.

"Joey what's this?" Joey looked up from his book and took Maddie's right wrist in his hand so the arrow pointing right was in full view. Jack took one look at her wrist and ran out of the room.

Joey smiled, brushed her hair back from her face and said, "That's a soulmate tattoo Mads. That little picture will match somebody else's. It will lead you to the one you'll spend your life with."

"It's like a fairytale!" Maddie shouted, yanking her wrist out of Joey's grasp and throwing her hands up in the air. "My Prince will come someday!" Maddie started twirling around the room and squealing with excitement while Joey sat back on his knees.

"But mooooom it's hardly faaaair! I haven't gotten miiiine yet!" Jack trailed after their mom as she walked in to the room. "Don't worry Jack. Yours will come soon enough." Their mom stood and watched her daughter prance around the room with a fond smile on her face.

"Mom! Mom! I'm gonna get a Prince!" Maddie yelled as she ran up to her mother.

"Or Princess!" Joey chimed in.

Her mother laughed and picked her up, and placed a small tiara on Maddie's little head, which quickly fell askew. "My little Princess."


Maddie was nine when her second tattoo came.

This time, it was a key on her collarbone. Maddie proudly showed off her tattoo to anyone who would look. Most of the kids were jealous that theirs hadn't shown up yet, but it didn't really matter. There was still a lot time.


Maddie got her third tattoo at 14.

A few people had found their soul mates, but most people only had one or two tattoos, if they have any at all. Maddie felt lucky to already have two at such a young age, so she wasn't worried.

Maddie was in the cafeteria with her friends when she felt a burn on her hipbone . She excused herself and ran to the bathroom. Just under the waistband of her jeans was an enormous crescent moon.


Maddie liked books. A lot. She loved the written word and how a sentence formed a cohesive thought that could influence your life perspective with just one word. She was in love with the notion that ideas that changed the world were expressed with twenty six separate letters strung together in different formations.

She also couldn't get enough of stories. Fantasy worlds, far off places, heroic characters, interesting back plots, character development, she was always hungry for more.

But Maddie loved romance. She read romance novels with epic confessions, heart wrenching characters, and the idea that there is a person out there who is meant to be with you forever. The person that completes your heart and sets your pulse racing out of your chest. The one person that you just knew.

Maddie couldn't imagine what that meant, completing her heart. She used to lay down in her bed and hug a pillow in her arms, to imagine the feeling of her love and life held in her arms.
She would watch the stars out of the window and send silent prayers to the heavens to let her soulmate have a happy life, even if they never meet, or they decide she's not good enough.

Inside the next year Maddie dyed her hair red and grew into liking bands. Her closet was black skinny jeans and....more black. There was this one band that she fell in love with. Their personalities, their music, their styles, and the way they treated people really spoke to her.

So Maddie went with her friend Abby to one of their concerts. they were opening for another band that was incredibly successful. She was ready to burst with happiness.

But there was traffic, and there were no parking spaces, and the line at the bathrooms were long, and the tickets wouldn't scan. There were so many delays and setbacks that Maddie was almost going to cry.

"Abby, run!" Maddie grabbed Abby's wrist and hauled her through the crowd, knocking people over and jostling people getting refreshments. Maddie accidentally slammed straight into one girl smaller than her, with dark hair and glasses. She turned and looked at the girl to apologize and could barely speak. The girl kind of half smiled at her and raised her eyebrow in a questioning way.

All of a sudden Maddie's wrist was jerked in the other direction and Abby dragged her back into the depths of the crowd.

"Sorry!" Maddie yelled over her shoulder, eyes lingering on the girl until her face was out of sight and let Abby drag her along. Finally they reached their seats just as the band came out and Maddie almost forgot the girl with the glasses and the beautiful smile.

But the funny thing was, her tattoos didn't stop tingling the entire night.


The next year, Maddie turned 15 and she hadn't gotten a single tattoo since the concert, but she didn't mind. Twitter sort of turned into her life. There were so many amazing people that she connected with and she couldn't imagine life without. Especially Shay.

Maddie had met Shay through mutual friends and interests and they instantly hit it off. Soon the two became inseparable, and all their friends joked that they were the HarryandLouis of their group. Maddie and Shay could talk on the phone for hours on end about anything and everything.

There was nothing Shay didn't know about Maddie and vice versa. The connection between the two was so deep that it scared Maddie sometimes. But it also gave her very intense butterflies every time she thought about this wonderful girl that just got her.


Maddie and her friends from online decided to meet up and see each other face to face for the first time. So Maddie traveled into Boston the day of with shaky hands and a beating heart. Shay and Maddie had talked the entire night before about finally meeting each other in person. Maddie couldn't sleep until she had called Shay up and found her in the same state. The two stayed on the phone and listened to the other breathe as they fell asleep.

When Maddie arrived, she almost went straight back home because of the sheer amount of people there. But she would never forgive herself if she left without talking to Shay. So she steeled herself and walked into the fray.

Maddie talked to so many people for the first time, but she was desperately looking around for the person she really came here for. She was nervous and excited and she felt like she was going to throw up.

While she was mingling around Bia slid up to Maddie.

"Maddie have you seen Shay yet?" She asked. Maddie shook her head.

"No I haven't! I can't find her anywhere!"

"I'm right here." A familiar voice said behind Maddie. She turned around and her heart almost stopped. The voice belonged to the girl from the concert. Immediately Maddie's tattoos started tingling furiously and she saw stars. She absent-mindedly rubbed her tattoos to soothe the tingling and saw that Shay did the same. Maddie froze and slowly held out her arm. Shay did the same. Shay had an identical arrow tattoo on her wrist to Maddie's own. Maddie slid her hand into Shay's and the arrows pointed towards the other.

"Do you--?" Maddie choked out, gesturing towards her hipbone and collarbone.

Shay pointed to her hip. "Sun" and then her collarbone, "and a padlock." Her voice broke in the middle of her words, and there was a tear in the corner of her eye.

Maddie lifted her arms up with shaky hands and threw them around Shay. The lock and key connected and hooked their bodies together, molding the two into one. When they would lay down the sun and moon would kiss and the arrows would direct into their souls. Maddie pulled back and looked into Shay's eyes. The sun was glinting off her glasses and creating a glare, but Maddie thought she looked like an angel.

Shay leaned forward and whispered into Maddie's ear, "I'm glad it was you."