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to the moon and beyond

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Sirius unlocked the door with his spare key and remembered to kick off his boots before fire and brimstone rained down on him in the form of Lily Potter. Godric's Hollow had been particularly gloomy the past few weeks and he thought giving Lily a heart attack by leaving a trail of muddy bootprints behind would be frowned upon. Besides, he rather liked the girl nowadays.

Checking the time, he tiptoed to the kitchen in search of something to eat. Not for nothing, but Walburga's cooking was at least terrible and he'd never entertain her like that. The search was fruitless though. Lily had been feeling off lately and they hadn't been grocery shopping in three days.

Still, Sirius was not one to complain so when he found some pancakes, probably a day old, he thought what the hell, it'll have to do, and made a mental note to drag James to the supermarket tomorrow, regardless of Lily's baseless complaints of "you spend five hours there" and "you never stick to the list and buy too much junk food". Evans was known to spew scandalous lies.

He put one of the pancakes in his mouth and grabbed his phone to shoot Remus a text.

[22:34] takeout and game of thrones?

He tried to be quiet but apparently he wasn't quiet enough because suddenly he heard a door open abrupty and the sound of heavy steps on the stairs, hurrying towards him. Sirius glanced over his shoulder, pancake still in his mouth and all, and saw James at the door, looking rather deranged. 

"Padfoot!" he cried out, moving so fast that Sirius didn't even have time to brace himself before his best friend launched at him like a maniac and almost knocked him over, crushing him in a hug. He reached around him and took the pancake out of his mouth.

"James, bud," he choked out, "warn a brother before attempting to murder him, please."

"Oh my God, Pads!" James cried out again and when he let go of Sirius, his eyes were glassy with tears.  

"What? What happened?" Sirius asked, reaching for his friend's shoulders, smiling in anticipation. Just then Lily walked in too, making a face at the scene, but ignoring it in favor of the fridge.

James glanced over his shoulder at her and when looked back his smile was wider, if that was possible. 

"Spit it out for fuck's sake! You know me and patiance don't get along." 

He could hear Lily snort.

"Sirius," James finally breathed out, "you're going to be an uncle!" 

Sirius thinks time slowed down for a while because he couldn't hear himself make a noise or a move as he stared in his best friend's eyes, trying to make sense of what he heard. He must have stayed like that long enough for James to worry.

"Pads?" he shook him, "Say something please. Isn't this wonderful news?" 

"What?" Sirius finally spat out when he came out of his stupor. "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean what do I mean, you git? I'm going to be a dad! Lily's preganant!" he pratically squealed.

And then there it was, a really warm feeling spreading through his ribcage while his empty stomach flipped with excitement. It must have shown in his eyes, lightning up at the news, because James nodded with confidence and hugged him again. Sirius hugged him back immediately, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. 

"God," he said loudly enough to make Lily cringe as she watched them while holding a half empty carton of milk in her hand. He thought he might have something cool to say, something deep, but he never thought they'd reach this point. He could swear it was yesterday when they filled McGonagall's office with rubber ducks and bubble wrapped every teacher's car. Instead, his eyes started to sting and all he could muster, still staring at Lily, was "I love you guys! This is going to be amazing!" before he let out a wet laugh.  

Even Lily offered him a small smile, but when Sirius let go of James to lunch at her like James did to him, it faded into a glare. She was about to take a step back when Sirius took her in his arms, holding her tight enough to make her groan. 

"Get off, Black." 

"You wish, Evans." he turned his face and planted a kiss on her cheek. Eventually, she sighed and wrapped her arms around him too, her head resting gently on his shoulder.  

"Can you imagine it? You? A mother? Terrifying." he whispered without any malice in it and smirked against her hair. Still, Lily used all her strength to push him and flip him off. 

Sirius laughed but settled down at the kitchen table. 

"How far along?" he asked, grabbing his pancake again. 

"We don't know yet, but we'll find out soon enough." James said, as giddy as expected. 

"Does Moony know?" Sirius glanced at Lily.

"Not yet." she answered, looking particularly pained. Sirius gave her a sympathetic smile.

"He'll be so happy." 

"He'll have a heart attack." she retorted.

There was a moment of silence in which Sirius' mind raced like a motorcycle with thoughts of the future. 

"I can't wait to meet them." Sirius said then, his voice soft and quiet and so unlike him. It was the truth. He loved James and Lily and he knew that whatever they'd make, it would be brilliant and Sirius would love it to the moon and beyond. The thought of a tiny human running around the house made him just as giddy. Admittedly, he didn't know a whole lot about babies, but what he knew was that he was going to protect it fiercely. 

"Me too." James whined, already impatient. 

"Why are you eating that?" Lily asked, pulling him back from his thoughts. She opened the fridge to put the carton of milk back to its place, "It's gross."

"Well, there was nothing else. I was starving!" Sirius whined, much like James. Sometimes he wondered how in the world was he Walburga's and Orion's biological son. 

"Didn't you just come back from the Black residence?" Lily scoffed and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah, but my sweet mother decided to try to persuade me with a meal cooked by her. Last time she made anything was probably ten years ago and even then it was terrible so it's safe to say I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. Drama ensured." he grinned and took another bite of the soggy pancake.  

Lily made a gagging gesture. 

"What did she want this time?" 

"She had this girl over." he explained with his mouth full, "Business marriages and all that. Pretty grotesque stuff. I apologized to her and left before my charming father threw a plate against a wall or something." 

"Your parents are delusional sociopaths." Lily stated as she opened the freezer. 

"That's a nice way of putting it." Sirius pushed his plate away and put his hair in a bun. "Takeout anyone?" 

"There's no more ice cream." Lily suddenly turned to glare at them. "Who ate the last one?"

"Not me. At least not this time." Sirius held his hands up. Lily looked at James. 

"It wasn't me!" he cried, but then again, James was never a good liar, not for his friends anyway. Lily deadpanned.

"Alright, fine, it was me. I woke up last night to pee and just felt like it." he confessed, crossing his arms like he was confident in his justification. You'd think that one year of marriage was sufficient to learn not to mess with Lily's icecream. Sirius snorted.

When Lily didn't say anything for thirty seconds, James just sighed and headed to the hallway. 

"Thank you!" Lily shouted but followed him to peck him on the cheek. Sirius watched them in amusement before his phone buzzed.

[22:52] can't tonight. seeing someone. raincheck?

Sirius felt his jaw tighten and there was a bitter taste in his mouth. He locked his phone and stood up. 

"Hold up!" he called after James, "I want icecream too!"

"Uh, so," Lily fidgeted, "I'm pregnant." 

It took about two seconds for Remus to outright choke on his tea, feeling it go up his nose and all over his face. It took Lily clapping his back and a long coughing fit before he could finally breathe.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked in a strained voice.

"Please don't be mad!" Lily pleaded instead, fear and desperation in her bright green eyes.

"No." Remus held up his hand. "Did you say pregnant?"

"Yes?" Lily replied, unsure of herself, and cringed.

"How? I mean-"

"Look, it just happened. We didn't plan on it so it was stupid, but I'm not getting rid of it, Remus."

"God, no," Remus assured her before she'd spiral out of control, "I just," he trailed off, not sure of what was the right thing to say. He supposed he couldn't be blamed, it wasn't every day your best friend told you she was going to be a mother. Like a mother mother. It sounded wonderful and terrifying at the same time, especially since children had never seem to be part of Lily's foreseeable future plans. 

"Please be happy for me." Lily insisted, as patient as Sirius, and Remus could see her nose turn a shade redder as she blinked quickly, trying to keep the tears at bay. 

And it wasn't that Remus wasn't happy for her, or for himself really, far from it, he absolutely loved children, but James and Lily were only twenty years old and still trying to find their places in the world. A child was a huge responsability and as capable as he knew Lily was, it would still be such a big change for them. 

"Don't be stupid." Remus finally said, standing up from his seat and taking her in his arms. "Of course I'm happy. You'll be a great mother." he stated firmly.

And that's when Lily started sobbing, burying her nose in the crook of Remus' neck. She almost never cried so he knew that when she did, it meant something. He just hugged her tighter and slowly caressed her back, trying to soothe her.

"I doubt it." she choked out, making Remus' heart break. She was scared, that much was obvious, anyone would be, but he also knew she stronger than she looked and they'd be there for her every step of the way.

"You will be," he whispered and kissed her temple, "and we're all gonna have your back." 

Eventually Lily's sobs quieted down and she pulled away from her friend. She looked tired, like she spent more time overthinking rather than sleeping, which Remus was sure she did.

"Good," she finally said, sniffing and wiping her tears away with the sleeve of her cream sweater, "I mean James is useless." 

Remus laughed, giving her a tissue. 

"Not that he's not going to be a good dad," Lily explained and he nodded without hesitation, "it's just that he thinks it'll be easy."

"He's, you know," Remus mused, "ever the optimist." 

"Yeah." she trailed off and looked down at her hands.

"That's a good thing though." he smiled fondly when she gave him a dubious look, "If James was anything like you, you'd both worry yourselves to death. It's good to have some balance." 

"I suppose you're right." she rolled her eyes dramatically. 

"How did Pads take it?" he asked, amused by the thought alone.

"Oh, you know," Lily made a face, "like a child with a Christmas present."