Work Header

The One Where John Accidentally Clones Himself

Work Text:

"Listen," John says hastily, holding up his hands. "I didn't touch anything."

"Uh huh," Rodney says, surveying the room. "Does that go for all of you here?"

The seven other identical (but naked) John Sheppards all nod sheepishly.

"So you're telling me that you just walked through the door, hands in your pockets, and without touching any of this very tempting smorgasbord of Ancient technology, suddenly you just magically cloned yourself."

John – the John with clothes on, whom Rodney takes to be the original version – shrugs. "Pretty much."

"Seven times."

"I said yes, Rodney, jeez!" Behind him, the other Sheppards affect various stances of frustration and annoyance.

"Can I get some clothes?" one of them yells, from the back. The others take up the request.

"No, you . . . you do not need clothes! We have to put you all back where you came from!" Rodney waves his hands vaguely in the air, and realises that he doesn't know where that is.

There's a long silence. "You mean in the vats?" One of the naked Sheppards asks.

Rodney looks where he's pointing, and sees a set of seven platforms, each with a translucent glass bubble over it, like stasis pods. The pods don't look empty, though: there is a shape moving beneath each one.

"Uh," Rodney begins. "So, you're sure you didn't touch anything? You just walked in, and it cloned you?"

"Yes, Rodney," John growls. "Now can you fix it?"

"Well," Rodney says faintly, as the first McKay clone crawls naked and complaining out of his stasis pod, "Maybe one of me can."