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So It Hit Me Like A Beam Of Light (Hit Me Like A Hook Of The Right)

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It's a very typical story.

Person A and Person B get together. Person B uses Person A for some professional reasons and some personal development. The two continue this relationship. Over the period of time the professional reasons subdue and the personal development remains. Person A starts falling for Person B.

Person B also starts falling for Person A but has commitment issues. Person B gets with Person C and Person A finds out. The relationship is finished. However Person B pines for Person A all the freaking time. Person B tries to get with other people but still remembers Person A. Person A tries to ignore their pain and move on but Person B makes that impossible by showing at their doorstep with flowers and pleading to get back with Person A.

After a few seconds of deliberation Person A agress and the two are back, this time in a committed relationship. However not everything is happy and peachy. Everyone knows that Person A now has trust issues and will always be afraid Person B will not be faithful to them. These fears are completely understandable. But no one ever talks about what the Person B is feeling.

No one ever talks about how Person B will do anything not to lose Person A ever again.

Let's take Connor Walsh for example. He fucked up. He fucked up and somehow Oliver Hampton managed to forgive him.

So Connor vowed to himself that he will spend the rest of his life making it up to Oliver.

For example, he did the right thing when Oliver took him back. Or what he thought was right. He kissed him and then asked him out on a date. Oliver was surprised but said yes immediately.

So Connor planned the date. He wanted it to be perfect. To be worthy of Oliver. He planned a movie for them to watch first. The Fifth Estate. Oliver loved it. Then they were supposed to go to a restaurant. Have overpriced food at a expensive restaurant like all the other couples. Then Connor would walk Oliver home, kiss him goodnight and go back to his own place.

It didn't really work out that well. The movie theatre had technical difficulties and for an hour the two of them sat in total darkness before the manager found them and apologised profusely. The good thing was that they got free tickets in return. They walked to the restaurant to kill time but they still ended up early. They had to wait for forty minutes before they were sat down next to a large family. With kids. Beer. And a whole lotta noise.

'Who even brings their kids to a place like this?' Connor thought to himself glaring at the family. Nevertheless, they had dinner. The food was actually quite nice and Oliver seemed to not hate everything. But that could just be Oliver. A wonderful person like that. Then something awful happened. The waiter spilled the ice cream on Oliver's shirt because one of the fucking kids thought it would be funny to trip the waiter over. Oliver laughed at it nervously as the waiter apologised too many times. He was also getting a bit handsy and trying to clean Oliver up. Connor glared as that was Connor's job feeling jealous. He started to ask for the manager but Oliver did say it was fine. The waiter offered to bring him another desert but Oliver shook his head and looked over at Connor.

"We're gonna head home. Just give us the bill." His voice was cold and rude and he couldn't stop glaring at the waiter who had the decency to look embarrassed. Then the stupid card machine broke down and the two of them had to wait for another fifteen minutes to pay. Oliver standing next to Connor quietly as the other man seethed promising himself to leave a horrible review of the restaurant.

Connor thought the night couldn't be any more of a disaster whilst walking Oliver home in silence. He had his hands in his pocket and Connor wanted them to be holding hands at this point. Like stupid sappy teenagers. He started to reach out to Oliver's pocket but as if on cue, it started raining. Of course neither of them did think to bring an umbrella and they were still ten blocks from Oliver's place. Connor gritted his teeth as his hair was more and more damp.

Oliver in a flash, grabbed Connor's hand and tugged him along.

"Come on." He said to the younger man with happy twinkles in his eyes and a soft smile. Connor felt himself bubble up with a feeling he couldn't really name. From the hand Oliver was holding to Oliver's smile. The feeling was making Connor tingle lightly and filled with giddiness. He let himself be pulled along and they ran to Oliver's apartment. Hand in hand. In the now heavy rain. Oliver kept on smiling even though his glasses were blurring his vision and Connor couldn't help but stare at him in awe. It was a rather dangerous run. Like the blind leading the blind. Thankfully they didn't fall down on the pavement.

Laughing they arrived at Oliver's place soaking wet. Oliver got the two of them towels and started drying himself off but didn't take his eyes off Connor who was wondering what he should do. Inner turmoil was a bitch.

"What's up?"

"I should go." Oliver's face faltered for a moment. "No. I mean-I'm trying to be a good guy. Like I'm not going to put out on the first date. That kind of good guy. And if I stay, I don't think I'll be able to keep my hands off you." Connor said looking down, the towel in the mentioned hands. He didn't hear Oliver move but in a second, the other man was in front of him unbuttoning Connors shirt."Wh--?" He was cut off by Oliver's mouth on his. Oliver's hands still making their way down Connor's shirt before pulling it off him and trapping Connor's wrists in his own. He pressed against the law student with his hips, Connor shivered at the half hard erection from Oliver and let out a quiet whine. Oliver bit his bottom lip and grinned. The fucker grinned. Connor's brain nearly exploded and he freed his wrists.

"Connor, the date sucked. I think the only way we could save it is by me making you come in the shower. Plus I don't want you to get pneumonia." Oliver grinned at him with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "We're young, red blooded American males. Let's not turn sex into a bad thing." Connor couldn't believe that the shy Oliver he picked up at a bar couple months ago was the same cocky little shit standing right in front of him. He ripped Oliver's shirt in half, attempting to impress the man (succeeding in doing so) and attacked his chest with his lips leading them to the bathroom. That night, with Oliver between his legs and the hot water sending pleasant goosebumps down his arms, Connor vowed Oliver would never get hurt again.

He kept on doing things to show how much he cared for Oliver. Like breakfast, a blow job in the morning, dates, a rim job in the shower, leaving stuff over at each other places, hot session of fucking that actually broke the mattress etc. And even though Oliver did seem content with how affectionate Connor has become (even though it's not necessary, Oliver laughed), Connor kept feeling like it wasn't enough.

He was sure that he'd lose the man he couldn't imagine not having in his life. He was skittish. Afraid he'd say something that would hurt Oliver. So he tried to speak less and figure out what Oliver would want him to do instead. He put his own thoughts to the side and tried to read his partner's mind. He was a lot more patient. He was a lot more affectionate.

When they went to IKEA for a new bed, Connor wouldn't let go of Oliver's hand. He kept hold of it no matter how awkward it felt. Other people glanced at them but no one really stared. It wasn't that they stared at him that bothered him. Connor was attractive. He was used to being stared at. It was that they would look at him and Oliver. Together. The two of them under the microscopic eye of millions. Connor choked down the rising panic in his throat and wrapped himself in Oliver's arms.

"You okay?" Oliver asked, that smile of his audible in the voice.

"Just...people. Looking." Connor mumbled into Oliver's jumper, hiding his face in it. Connor felt like a child, hiding into his mom's dress. But unlike his mother, Oliver didn't laugh and push him away. He just tightened his grip around Connor and kept on talking.

"Of course they are. We're two sexy mofos." Connor couldn't keep in a chortle of laughter. "D'you want to go?" Connor shook his head.

"You need a bed."

"Actually, I just need a mattress. You're the one who wants a new bed." Connor looked up at Oliver surprised.

"I thought you also wanted a new bed." Oliver smiled and shrugged.

"Might as well, the one I have is getting to small." Connor flinched. Was that a remark about his weight? Was he getting the relationship gut? Or was that a suggestion that maybe Connor was spending too much time at Oliver's and it's getting too crowded. "I don't want to push it but I also want to take a look at some drawers. Maybe donate my one and get a new one that you could keep your stuff in." Connor stopped breathing for a moment. Wrapped up in Oliver's space, staring at the man who casual just talked about sharing furniture.

"That..." Connor murmured before cleaning his throat. "That--yeah. Yeah. Let's do that too." Oliver smiled down at him and Connor felt like it was a ray of sunshine instead. So warm and happy. Oliver's eyes crinkled happily behind the round glasses. Connor took Oliver's hand again and for the rest of the IKEA trip, he didn't notice or even cared if people stared. Oliver was worth it. He even got a key to Oliver's place after the trip.

Connor never really witnessed a functioning relationship growing up. He never knew compromise. He got away with doing whatever he wanted because there was no one to tell him what an annoying little kid he was. But Oliver had no problem with doing so. He had no problem telling Connor that he was an idiot for buying junk. He had no problem telling Connor he was out of line when Connor used his laptop without his permission. He had no problem making fun of Connor for crying at an episode of New Girl. He also had no problem crying himself at the same episode whilslt making fun of Connor. He didn't take Connor's shit when Connor suggested they have sex before dinner. He had actual discussions with Connor. He tried to get Connor's opinion on everything.

But Connor still held back. He still didn't talk about his family or his life pre-law school.

Professor Keating's office was closer from Connor's but he barely spent any time there. Oliver was too tempting to leave.

One night however he had to. He apologised many times to Oliver who was dressed up because there was an emergency with a client. They were meant to go out but Annalise called him up last minute and said that he could kiss his spot in the Keating Five goodbye if he didn't get there fast. Oliver laughed and said that there was limit to how many times a person can say they're sorry.

Connor turned off his phone to work on the case but his mind kept on wondering back to what Oliver was doing. Asher was talking some bullshit, MIchaela was sleeping, Wes was pacing and reading something out of a book that was clearly meant to help them, Laurel was arguing with him and reading something different from the book. Annalise, Frank and Bonnie were in Annalise's office. Probably had the whole case figured out already.

Then Annalise sent Connor, Laurel and Wes to a local bar to find some information.

"You alright?" Wes asked Laurel who was fidgeting in the front seat.

"Just having some difficulties with this seat."

"It's a seat warmer, Laurel. It's meant to be warm."

"Is it meant to scold my ass, Wes?"

"Frank would appreciate that." COnnor interjected from the back seat and turned his phone back on. Oliver texted him that his friends from work invited him out so he'd get back late to the apartment. It was stranger but Connor felt weird about going home and not having Oliver there. Oliver's place was home. Connor's was practicaly empty in the beginning but now without his clothes, he could sub-let it.

"So when we get there, you gonna fuck any guys?" Laurel asked feeling particularly malicious.

"Only your dad." Laurel flipped him off and stared out the window. The rest of the drive was in silence. Connor walked into the building nodding at the bouncer with Wes and Laurel behind him. In a short while, Connor made himself known at several bars in his life, this was one of them. Laurel glared at people pushing past her and a couple of guys making suggestive gestures at her. Wes looked around uncomfortably.

"Where do we start?" He asked Connor who noticed Oliver at the bar talking rapidly with some guy.

"I don't..." He watched as the guy laughed and placed a hand on Oliver's arm. Oliver smiled at the guy but pulled his arm away. The smile was that soft smile. The one that Oliver only used with him around. Or who knows. Connor never has seen Oliver outside of their relationship. "You guys...I gotta go." He said to his peers and slowly started to walk towards Oliver. Observing. Feeling jealous and insecure at the same time. The guy leaned into Oliver who leaned back and turned to the bartended. Connor felt fury in his veins and started to storm over to the two men. Oliver noticed him quickly and grinned brightly. "Hey." Connor pulled Oliver in for a kiss, placing his left arm on Oliver's right hip and his right hand on the back of Oliver's neck. "Missed you." He kissed him again, leaving Oliver out of breath. "Who's your friend?" He asked looking at the man who had a sour look on his face.

"Connor, this is Marcus. He's in the PR department." Oliver replied. "Marcus, this is Connor. He's my--"

"Boyfriend. Soulmate. Future father of his children." Connor interrupted and smirked at Marcus. "Dropped some titles there for ya. You pick the one you like the most." Oliver laughed silently understanding the situation. Marcus' face frozen in a grimace.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Oliver." Connor watched him walk away before taking his place opposite Oliver.

"I think 'Future father of his children' is my favourite." Oliver told him. Connor almost felt embarrassed. Almost.

"I got jealous." Oliver titled his head as if to ask 'Really?'. "I get jealous. Over you. I don't get jealous over anyone else." Connor took a deep breath. This was not the right place to have a heartfelt moment but his mouth seemed to be disconnected from his brain that was screaming 'STOP!' and he kept going. "You're like the sun. And I'm like the puny little human trying to get a glimpse. I am constantly scared that I will mess this up. I don't want to mess it up. I like you, Oliver. I love you. I want to be the best version of myself with you. I want to make you happy with everything I've got and I don't know how to do that. But I know I can scare away assholes like Marcus because they don't deserve you. I don't deserve you but I will fight for you until my last breath. Hell, until my last case." Oliver kissed him as he was about to rant again. Connor blinked up at him. "Whut?"

"I love you, too." Oliver grinned. Connor blinked again. He didn't even realise he said it. "You did." He also didn't realise he said that out loud. "You freaking out?" Oliver asked the younger man concerned.

Connor thought about it.

It's a very typical story.

Person A and Person B get together.

They fall in love but Person B has commitment issues. Person B gets with Person C and Person A finds out.

The relationship is over.

Person B pines for Person A all the freaking time. Person A decides to give Person B another shot.

Person A is in love with Person B and believes that they can make it work this time.

But no one ever talks about what the Person B is feeling.

Connor kissed Oliver. Slow and sweet. His hands lightly resting on Oliver's hips, delicately tightening on him.

"Not a single fucking bit." Connor responded and Oliver smiled that sweet, soft smile.